JULY 2022
ISSUE #022 GET FREE
a word.
TamaraSanaaLeigh Editor-In-Chief
Whew, it's 4th of July. It's feeling very "what to the slave is the 4th of July"-ish outside. The way government is trending right now and the country is set-up, there isn't much freedom to celebrate. I wanted to check in excited about having met and hung out with Ts Madison on Juneteenth. But to be honest, I don't have it to do right now. I'm thinking about the fight. About resistance. My inner activist is fighting her way back to the surface. I wanted to bask in the glow of my first ever St. Pete Pride party and what an incredible success it was to have 300+ Black & Brown Queer folks in one room. But honestly I'm sad, fed up, frustrated and afraid. For what's already happening, for what is gonna happen next. I felt like entitling this months issue "The Handmaid's Tale: The Reality Show" but instead I took two absolutely beautiful Black, Queer beings and asked them to wade into the ocean naked and FREE. You gotta get your freedom where you can find it right now. This month's issue is entitled, fondly and defiantly, GET FREE. I spent a decade as an advocate and activist up North and needed to break free. And did. The year of anonymity felt amazing but lonely. I needed community and created a community of Black & Brown Lesbians, despite the fact that I don't particularly identify as a Lesbian. What I identify as doesn't really exist yet outside of my head so I settle with Queer. And Lesbian circles allow me to spend my time with amazing beautiful Black Queer women such as myself. And I am grateful for them. It was with them that I lay covered in fake blood with rain pouring down on my face during the 1st protest that I initiated since living down South yesterday. Everyone else had stood up and I just slayed there, sticky and rained on amongst screaming Roe vs. Wade protestors. It was the freest I had felt in a very long time. There is freedom in taking your hands off and there is freedom in the fight. We as a people have always found freedom where we found it. So on this day that rests on the irony that is America celebrating any kind of freedom because I'm honestly losing track if ANYBODY is at this point. I implore you to do one thing, one. GET FREE.
Ain’t nobody tell me that they loved me today And I still made it Still was great Still let my melanin shine Just like this little light Like this glimmer of hope I know Someone loves me But hell Even if they don’t I love me And it took a long time for me to be this brave For me to be this free To set down my burdens Some weren’t even mine to begin with Had to set them down So I could dance So I could grove And move And stretch Got this kink in my back Got this ache in my body See, now I’m trying to be healed Ain’t wondering were the next coming from The here and now is what I prayed for And I know I got more praying to do Got more steps to take More responsibility to take on Still evolving And growing And never out running myself Taking breaks But never giving up Because I had been given up on Too easily So now we don’t wait for praise Or I love yous We stand solid We hold accountability To our reflections
THIS FREEDOM
NEQUA PROFACY
Thrive Another Day Mel Howard
Thrivingtransmenofcolor@gmail.com
Society norms built us in spaces that could never hold us but displace the true essence of why they hate us so much. Free thinkers that overcome adversity and urge people to view life through an uncompromised lens who often get viewed as “the unwanted population”. A population so in touch with what has been out of touch for far too long that we make our rules instead. In order to ask for eyes to be opened and minds to be exposed to what is so apparently clear we would have to fit in a world that has oppressed us and tried to silence us since before the Stonewall Riot. We thrive in spite of what they throw in our way and we break through and rise. See we have so much persona and with every breath we take we illuminate the world around us. We wear a smile proudly when our basic essentials are met by a system that means to make sure we struggle. Encompassed with infractions, buried in limitations it is easier to give up then create the friction needed to fuel the turmoil to conquer every note that still plays on repeat. Drowned in fear so aware that if we don’t- who will? So familiar with failing that winning is shocking. See we idolize the ball players and rappers and we scream when they make out of town that has more crime rates higher than employment rate with inflation rates rising higher and our jobs still paying less because they still see us as less but expect us to work harder. We live on to thrive another day, hearts heavy most days, and weight on shoulders but always eyes forward.
FLORIDA
W H O S O E V E R
B E L I E V E S
Greetings! Let’s talk about the message of Christ….whosoever believes has everlasting life (John 3:16) and you are the whosoever. It is faith and relationship that can carry you to the feet of Christ to lay down your heavy burdens. If you have ever questioned whether or not God can love you just for who you are, then I am here to let you know that He can and He does. You are His creation and it is truly His desire that you have a relationship with Him. Take to heart the fact that your life is valuable and that you truly are God’s beloved. There are those who have gone for so long listening to the rules of man that they have stopped listening for the voice of God. So for every church that you may have been turned away from or for every family member that has abandoned you for being who you are, know that this is not God. You can release your fear, doubt, anxiety, abandonment, and brokenness to the One who holds all wholeness and healing in His hands. Having an authentic relationship with God is accessible, my friend, because you are the whosoever. You may be straight, gay, trans, bi, etc., and that is beautiful. You have found the strength to live out loud. But now is your chance to live out loud with an assurance that you are welcome with open arms into the family of God.
Mrs. Roni R. Winston
m o d e fre
THE PRIDE OF
Immani Love She/Her @ImmaniLove As we bring Pride month to a close, we are still full of the joy of expressing our true selves with like-minded people in a peaceful and celebratory atmosphere. We donned our rainbows and glitter, our festive makeup, and our most brazen wardrobe choices to amplify the idea that we are free to be who we are in any capacity without fear of ridicule, embarrassment, or even alienation from peers. As a queer Erotic author, this is one of my favorite times of year to help people explore eroticism and sexuality in its purest form. Using art, words, music, and enjoying the privilege of sharing intimacy is a gift. It’s a beautiful feeling and it doesn’t end when the month is over. It lingers through our hearts and our community and helps to foster that same sense of freedom and security for the youth who are still trying to find themselves and come to terms with their sexuality, gender identity, and being comfortable to love whomever they love. In addition to a month of LGBTQ + Pride, we enjoyed having had the opportunity for the first time to nationally celebrate Juneteenth. Businesses closed and families gathered to celebrate the heritage of freedom in the black community. To be unapologetically blackety, black, black! It was so refreshing to wear our traditional African garb, gather and share stories of great historical freedom fighting figures that helped shape our lives today. To learn from our ancestors how to gain the strength to fight through adversity is a lesson we continue to grasp. The opportunity to celebrate our blackness outside of Black History Month has been long overdue and it made the various celebrations of family, unity, and freedom that much more important.
“The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown, but longed for still, and his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings of freedom.” ― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Now as we prepare for the country to begin its celebration of “freedom” for July 4th, with its proud colors of red, white, and blue, its extravagant displays of bright colors lighting up the night sky with fireworks, the barbeques and summer festivities, one rarely takes a moment to speak of what we are supposed to be free from. Is it the “tyranny” of British control? The creation of a brave, “free” nation? Not to get too political but I most recently have put more faith in the concept of “Freedom, isn’t free.” There’s still a lot left to fight for with every passing day. We have had many setbacks to our personal freedoms as of late and as frustrating as it may be, we must try to look at these challenges as opportunities to make changes to the way we affect change. What ways can we make our voices heard and establish a clear plan of action? We are compelled to look back at those freedom fighters of days gone by for inspiration to fight again. From Women’s rights, LGBTQ+ issues, Black Lives Matter, and even basic human rights agendas, we as a people have a lot more work to do before we can ever really say that we are “free.” So, in this season of celebrating “freedom,” go ahead and enjoy those fireworks, wipe the barbecue sauce off your cheek, and enjoy the beaches and family gatherings, just don’t forget that once the smoke clears, and the new day.
OUR "GET FREE" JULY COVER MODELS PHOTOGRAPHY BY TAMARA LEIGH
CADIN
SMALL Cadin Small is an African American, Puerto Rican artist and activist who has a passion for cultivating diversity and inclusion in various social spaces. He challenges many with his work to think deep and ask the big questions that don't get asked often and to advocate for traditionally, underserved communities in the United States and world-wide. He also graduated from the University of South Florida with his degree in psychology and is currently obtaining his masters degree in public administration with an emphasis in non-profit management. In 2020, he and his colleagues founded the Blunt Space Incorporated which is non profit organization dedicated to art, advocacy, and culture. Through his organization he continues to create space for underrepresented voice within the arts.
@cadin.small
cadinsmall
IMMANI
LOVE
Erotic Poet & Author with a love for the beauty, sensuality, and sexuality of women. Ordained Minister of Love and able to perform wedding ceremonies. Focus on LGBT events and shows and available for booking, hosting and officiant services.
@ImmaniLove https://www.facebook.c om/AuthorImmaniLove
www.immanilove.com
THE OLD MAN'S CORNER E.L. WINSTON
As I sit here reflecting on these past two and a half years, I’m brought to this deeper understanding of who I’m becoming. Freedom will do that to a person. I guess to understand where I’m at I should tell y'all where I started. The evolution of me started about 3 years ago at a trans support meeting. I went as an ally, and I see now that the man in me wanted to be free and was looking for his tribe. Up until that point, I had identified as trans masculine. Looking back though that was more for those around me than it was about who I was. It made it easier I thought for others and if I’m being honest it was somewhat easier for me too. I was in my late forties, married, and rebuilding a relationship with my twin brother who had difficulties when I came out as a lesbian. Did I really want to start at ground zero with him? And what about my wife? When we got married I identified one way and now that would change. What would this mean for her? For us?
Then, there were all these things going on in my own head. Do I have to change my name and if I did what would it be? I mean, this has been my name for my entire life and I don’t dislike it. There is history attached to my name that I’m proud of but how do I get people to respect my pronouns when my name doesn’t seem to match. I had more questions than answers and more fears than courage at times. The one thing I was sure of more than anything else was that I couldn’t hold this fella in any more. He’d seen glimmers of light, had heard the call of his tribe, and wasn’t trying to be silenced or explained away. The next phase began. I sat down to do some research, ask myself some uncomfortable questions about my own resistance, and understand my internal struggle. So, I did the soul searching and decided that it was time to live as my true self no matter what. To show up in this world as present and authentic as one person can be. Now, I live happy and whole. Are there some things that I would like to change? Absolutely! And in due time I'll get to those things, but for now I’m just enjoying the journey that is me. Welcome to the Old Man’s Corner, where there is no hiding from self and no shame for change!
WWW.BLAQUEOUT.COM
I exist to corrupt her pure thoughts of a heterosexual existence. I cause turmoil in her happy life by being the fuel to her smoldering kindling of past desires for the touch of a woman. I spark FIRE. My very presence is a curse of distraction from the mundane tasks of a str8 woman determined to hide her true self from not only the world but herself. She cowers behind false proclamations of sincerity when spewing words denouncing the yearning that is so evident it screams when her mouth is silent. I spark FIRE. The longing in her eyes is vaguely veiled by the lust that her touch gives hint to as she desperately tries to deny her needs. One kiss from my lips and she breathes a heavy sigh of relief or is it freedom from her chains of denial. My moist tongue on her breasts and she melts into my waiting arms, the battle is soon done. I spark FIRE. My hands on her hips, her body against mine, her fingers dancing in my wet playground, as we venture into the forbidden land of carnal pleasure. I spark FIRE. I lick her fingers to consume the essence of pure ecstasy and I bury my head between her thighs to remind her what it feels like to be alive. I spark a FIRE. Her hands in my hair and her legs on my shoulders she quivers and moans and lets me know she has been resurrected. Her spirit may have lain dormant buried deep within her soul but to taste life’s yearning for even a fleeting moment gives her hope of a reality defined by true acceptance of self. I spark a FIRE never extinguished.
IMMANI LOVE @IMMANILOVE
THE AFTERMATH I don’t think there is a time in my life that I’ve been more stressed about what goes on in this world than I am right now. Roe vs. Wade being overturned has opened the door to take us back to the stone ages. As a trans man, I take issue with anyone telling people what they should or shouldn’t be able to do with their own bodies. I fear for more than those who seek legal abortion. What about trans men who go to planned parenthood to get gender affirming medicine
or
pap
smears?
Then,
there
are
situations like Robert Eads, the subject of the 1998 documentary Southern Comfort. A trans man seeking emergency surgery after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 1996, but he was denied by a dozen doctors because it would look bad on their practice. Eads didn’t get any help until a year later. By then it was too late for him. People who forget the past are destined to repeat it.
E.L. WINSTON
Those who think cases like Eads’ are relegated to the past are the same ones who didn’t think we would be discussing the overturning of a law that’s been on the books for 50 years. There is a war going on here for our freedom. Understand when I say ‘our’, I mean all of us. Don’t think it’s just women’s rights or LGBTQIA rights. This sets precedence for anything that doesn’t stand on the side of misogyny, bigotry and racist ideals. We need to more than ever stand up to be heard. We must use our voting power to speak louder than ever before and we need to educate ourselves and others on how the government is run. Knowledge is power and we're already behind the curve. I pray that we don’t have to bury anymore of our loved ones behind a system that is not made for the people.
I've Got Your Number DOREEN SCANLAN
We are surrounded by numbers everywhere. Phone numbers, addresses, pins and many more. We are even identified by a number to the government. The Universe takes it a step further and shows us that we can convert numbers associated with us to indicate personal characteristics and tendencies. We all fall into one of 9 birthpaths according to Numerology. As a Professional Intuitive I use those numbers along with tarot cards to guide people in their lives. To determine your own Birth Path just follow these few simple steps. It is based on your date of birth. Example : If I was born on April 5 2002 I would find it this way. April is the 4th month so 4 + 5+ 2+0+0+2 = 13 then you reduce that to a single digit 1+3 = 4 . So I would have a 4 Birth Path. What I am doing here is to take each Birth Path number each month and do a tarot reading for each one to give you guidance of what you might expect energetically during the issue month. I hope you enjoy reading yours. A new addition for 2022 I will include a keyword for you for the month to incorporate and build into your affirmations. If it is not the positive version of the word , look to find the opposite and turn it around. If nothing else, look at what you believe about that concept.
1 Birthpath : This is time to leave the past in the past for good. You can’t change what has been done you can only choose better choices moving forward. You are going through major changes now in order to make you stronger in the present and the future. Time to let toxic relationships go once nad for all. Then it is necessary to change your mental perspective to one that allows you to connect only with people who have your highest and best in mind. This is area of focus you need to develop so you can proceed. Keyword: Affirm your intention.
2 Birthpath : Following and sharing your passion is important this month. There are feelings that you are being asked to explore. You deserve to find a comfortable level of connection with a loved one. Sharing dreams and goals is a great way to see who in line with you. You may find that you need to make some decisions about who you want to bring into your inner circle. It is time to allow yourself to be a little vulnerable to see if you are ready to connect on an emotional level with someone. You deserve to be loved too. Keyword; Stop hesitating
3 Birthpath: Goals and dreams are a must thus month. Allow yourself to daydream a little. For too long you have allowed other people’s issues to take precedent over your dreams. Find time to reconnect with your spiritual practices whether it is mediation, prayer or just connecting with nature. If you take time for this you may find that others are more receptive to adding to your experience and are there to support you in whatever challenges you may face in the near future, Maybe you can pursue a spiritual experience together. Keyword: Testify
4 Birthpath : Payoff time. Something you have been working on for a while finally pays off. Take some time to celebrate your accomplishments. Don’t be surprised if others aren’t as enthusiastic about it as you are, Find people who are. Time to set your sights on the next thing. What are you willing to take on next? Once you can see it, move on it. Talk about your vision and get others excited about it. You may find that the naysayers from earlier may get it this time. Keyword: Shine your light.
5 Birthpath : Connecting with others is a good idea this month. It looks like two heads are better than one . Something you want to take on will be easier if you have others to share the burden. Put systems in place to make sure things run smoothly. You may need some rules. Keeping morale high is important to the success of any project. Make it fun. This way everyone can stay on the same page instead of being opposing forces. Keyword: Connect with your authentic self
6 Birthpath: Things that have seem to have been out of balance , start to right themselves. Not only that but your financial status seems to be improving. This puts you in a better place to be able to start making future plans. Don’ t rely too heavily on the support of things like government agencies or anything that is considered as a long standing institution. Their support may be a long time coming and that might not be enough help when you need it. Instead try to look for different approaches that could bring about solutions sooner. Keyword: Don’t be held down
7 Birthpath : July for you is a time of righteous action. Take time this month to make things happen that are important to you. The clarity you receive as a result will be amazing. There is so much more out there for you to experience and enjoy. Go for it. If there is a career move to make now is a great time to make that happen too. Life is too short to not seek all that it has to offer you. Keywords: Give yourself permission.
8 Birthpath : Check to make sure things in your physical world are moving in the direction you choose. Do you need a better job? Do you need more income? Do you need to redecorate your living space or even move? Now is the time to make moves in those directions. Talk to people who might be able to help. You have skills that you haven’t even tapped into yet. It is time to take control in as many areas of your life as you can because you have dreams waiting to happen. . Keyword:Energy flows where attention goes.
9 Birthpath : You have come to a spiritual crossroads. It is no mistake either. Open your eyes, or better yet close your eyes and envision where your next steps might take you. Sharing your inspired ideas will not only benefit you but others as well. There are many people around you with desire but no direction. Perhaps they are waiting for someone like you to light the torch and lead the way. You may also find yourself doing some kind of give back work this month. Find someone that could use something you have to give. It might be just the thing that lightens their load and allows them to take a few steps forward as well with a little help from a friend. Keyword: Give yourself the go ahead.
Doreen has been doing Intuitive Tarot readings and spiritual work for over two decades and is available for private readings . Text 585-615-8494 for details and availability. Any feedback on how these readings have helped you would be appreciated.
4TH OF JULY I will not be free until my hands pour the reparations of my ancestors into soil Replenishing this continent built on the intellectual knowledge that caused us to thrive I will not be free until Womb carrying humans have rights over their own bodies using their own voices Increasing the population under these regulations… our nation has yet to see a generation rebuilt on and within trauma … for this over turn increases death rates … just being triggered alone I will not be free until the government and politics that we must learn so much about, represents Equity, Equality and Justice for all!! Not based on history yet defined by every piece of Black and Brown knowledge because WE ARE THE CREATORS OF THE PRIVILEGE WE WATCH OTHERS LIVE IN I will not be free until Police forces drop there badges, stop murdering innocent Black and Brown folks, relinquish the historical target placed on the folks I look like… I will never be free as long as Black and Brown children have to challenge history books that don’t resemble their lived experience nor that of those who came before them I will never be free as long as the narrative of my people is written and experienced through white counterparts. I will never be free until folks realize Black and Brown folks brought spirituality to a broken religion of Christianity I will not be free until the leaders of this generation are freed from their chains!! The chains of injustice, racism, bigotry and hate! I will never be free until Freedom is defined by me. Independence did not build the nation we call home!!! I will never be free for this has never been the home of my ancestors nor myself … We will always strive to rest upon this land, a land that has never seen me or you nor the existence of our people Defining freedom has never been inclusive or intersected on a level of … Including me, “my kind” am I not human kind? Why will you never be free? Independence is a characteristic! Freedom is a Requirement!!!
Until next time you know where to find me!!! Add me On FB, IG & Twitter
@2022 BLAQUEOUT MAGAZINE
