BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE April 2024 by Blaque/OUT Magazine

APRIL 2024

ISSUE#043

M A G A Z I N E

CELEBRATING BLACK & BROWN

QUEER WOMEN

EXCLUSIVE

INTERVIEWS

KIERRA JOHNSON LAURIN TALESE & JEFFREY L. PAGE DIAMOND STYLZ SLAM ANDERSON BENJAMIN COY MONIQUE CAMPBELL

SLAM ANDERSON

TAMARA S. LEIGH, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

CONTENTS Celebrating Black Queer Women BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE IS A MONTHLY DIGITAL PUBLICATION CENTERED FIRMLY IN BLACK & BROWN QUEER QULTURE. BLAQUE/OUT FEATURES WRITERS, ARTISTS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, CREATIVES AND INFLUENCERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. WE ARE WORDS. WE ARE ART. WE ARE FASHION. WE ARE CULTURE. WE ARE MUSIC. WE ARE PROTEST. WE ARE WHERE BLAQUE QUEER CULTURE LIVES. FIND US ON FACEBOOK, IG, TIKTOK. TO SUBSCRIBE TO BLAQUE MAGAZINE, VISIT: HTTPS://ISSUU.COM/STORE/PUBLISHERS/BLAQUEOUTMAG/ SUBSCRIBE

FOR ADVERTISING, EMAIL ADVERTISING@BLAQUEOUTMAG.COM FOR SUBMISSIONS, EMAIL TAMARALEIGH@BLAQUEOUTMAG.COM WWW.ISSUU.COM/BLAQUEOUTMAG WWW.BLAQUEOUT.COM

ANDERSON 24 SLAM NIGHTMARES TO DREAMS 09

THE OLD MAN'S CORNER E.L. WINSTON

AN AFTERNOON WITH THE CAST OF GEVA THEATRE’S: LADY DAY AT EMERSON’S BAR & GRILL JAVANNAH DAVIS

INTERVIEW WITH KIERRA JOHNSON

INTERVIEW WITH DIAMOND STYLZ

TEE DOUGLAS 03

17 COVER PHOTOGRAPHER: @ZEENO.NY COVER FEATURED ARTWORK: @GEISHAISTOARTIST

ICONIC WOMEN ON THE MOVE: MONIQUE CAMPBELL

CELEBRATING NATIONAL POETRY MONTH WITH A COLLECTION BY POET LAUREATE, ASHANTI TAYLOR-ALEXANDER COPY EDITOR: RONI WINSTON ADVERTISING ACCOUNT MANAGER: DOREEN SCANLAN

APRIL 2024 | ISSUE# 043

here are so many Incredible queer & trans, BLACK & brown women- past & present, that just black history month couldn’t possibly do them justice. as I say all the time, blaque/out doesn’t seek to follow norms, we prefer to be the trendsetters. with that In mind, we celebrate black history month In february, black queer history month In march & iconic black & brown queer women in april. so that, along with national poetry month, makes this an Incredible Issue that we are so excited to share with you! in april, we bring you kierra johnson of the national lgbtq taskforce, diamond stylz who Is an absolute Icon, slam anderson who Is doing big things In tampa, fl, and monique campbell from out on the west coast. all that plus some history and the blaque/out writers that bring you a taste of black queer culture every single month. speaking of which, we have to take a second to thank the ladies of blaque/out who are the backbone of everything we do. Javannah Davis who has actually been In every single Issue, ashanti taylor-alexander our poet laureate who recently came back to us after a long hiatus, roni winston who has expanded her role at the magazine In 2024, Immani love, tina marie jones, angelique davis, lade breez, courtney & our new youth correspondent- alexis. thank you for adding your experiences to the collective that make blaque/OUT great. lastly, thank you to all the Incredible black women who cleared the path before us, that have allowed us to tell their stories & who continue to Inspire & thrive against all odds every single day. your legacies have given us life!

a word.

Tamara Sanaa Leigh Editor-In-Chief

BlaqueOUT columnists & contributors Javannah J. Davis (she/her) resides in Rochester, NY where she has worked in healthcare for 19 years, is a self-published author, Founder/President of W.A.V.E Women Inc & CEO/Owner of Linjé Enterprises LLC. Javannah is passionate about healing, self-love, self actualization & helping others to live the best of their lives in a healthy way.

E.L. Winston of Fayetteville, NC (He,Him, His) Trans Community Advocate, CoFounder of Lambda Gamma Omega Nu Fraternity. Just your everyday introspective old man and 1 half of Team Winston

Ashanti S. Taylor-Alexander (she/her) is a life educated poet who believes in riding each wave of this world to the fullest. She is passionate about writing poems people can truly feel. Have a subject throw it at her and she'll make a master piece! Founder of Pulse Poetry Magazine.

Roni Winston aka The Mrs. aka Pastor Roni (She/Her/Hers) Fayettevlle, NC. Minister, educator, entrepreneur, couples' coach, writer, mom, and grandma. Half . of Team Winston.

Immani Love, (she/her) A Lesbian Erotic Poet, Author, Ordained Minister, Freelance Writer, Real Estate Agent, and overall witty, seductress with the voice of a Siren. An educated Vixen in sunny St. Pete, Florida.

Mel Howard (he/him) Resides in Newport News, Virginia where he worked in finance industry for over 5years, is a columnists for BlaqueOUT Magazine and Founder/President of THRIVING TRANSMEN OF COLOR. Mel is passionate about community, self acceptance and forgiveness.

Tina Marie Jones (she/her/hers) Founder of Uncover, LLC, mother of 4, activist, motivator, and columnist.

Courtney L (she/her) designer, developer, business owner, who loves to travel. When she is not doing that she loves to write poetry, a bit of a nerd, spend time with family and friends and help people learn technology. She lives in Los Angeles, with her dog.

Lade Breez (He/Her/Them) is an award winning 3x published author, publisher, philanthropist, humanitarian, motivational speaker, life coach, event host, youth tutor, artist developer & spoken word artist. Owner & founder of Express Me Poetry Business Services & Events, & Educated Blessyns LLC, improving this world one stage at a time. ExpressMePoetry.com

David Maurice Griffin (he/him/his) Coulumbia, SC. Providing the gift of massage Is what he does, but spreading awareness about HIV/AIDS Is who he IS. One half of “A Moment w/ the Griffins”

Congratulations 20

Nominees: JAVANNAH DAVIS MEL HOWARD RONI WINSTON & SELECTED KEYNOTE SPEAKER, BRITTAN HARDGERS APRIL 26, 2024. DALLAS, TEXAS

Jackie Shane “Walking The Dog” (Night Train, 1965, remastered audio)

JOIN US AS AUNTIE RONI SITS DOWN WITH BENJAMIN COY, COMMUNICATIONS MARKETING CAMPAIGN MANAGER FOR THE NATIONAL LGBTQ TASK FORCE. A FLORIDA GUY CURRENTLY LIVING IN DC, BENJAMIN IS ALSO CO-HOST OF “COCKTAILS AND CULTURE” WITH HIS GOOD FRIEND, BRIGETHIA ARAI. LAUGH WITH US THROUGH LOVE, LEGACY, AND LIFE IN THIS BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW.

BENJAMIN

NATIONAL LGBTQ TASKFORCE INTERVIEW WITH RONI WINSTON

(HE/HIM)

COY

WATCH ON YOUTUBE

NORTH CAROLINA

THE OLD MAN'S CORNER E.L. WINSTON

As we celebrate a month dedicated to shining a light on your accomplishments and resilience, I wonder how 30 days can be enough to point out all the ways that you impact this world and how you still stand in such beauty as the world tries to knock you down. You come from Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson. What it took for them to say enough is enough at Stonewall is that resiliency that pumps through your veins. Dear Trans Sistah, I'm writing this letter to tell you that I see. I see you in all your beauty and strength. I see your fears and uncertainty in certain situations. And who can blame you? After all, you are public enemy number one or at least that is what they would have us to believe. How do you tell the sun that it's the most powerful star in the universe? If I could figure out that answer, I'd be able to put into words how magincent your presence is, how the light you give off is so radiant that it gives off a power that is undeniable and because of that there will always be people trying to dim your light. I see you in all your power and softness. After all, you are the mothers of our revolution, the pioneers of our protest, the mothers to our lost and unloved. You've created safe spaces for us to be ourselves and walk in our truth.

You come from Crystal and Lottie LaBeija who created House of LeBeija, a family for those who had been tossed to the side by their own. You come from Carlett Brown and Sir Lady Java, the beautiful woman who graced the pages of Jet Magazine. I could go on and on about your impact on the world we live in today and still not be able to give you your just due. There is one last thing I'd like to say. Sistah, I love you and I see you as your brother. I stand in protection of you, always ready to defend and protect, always here to lend a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. I stand with you and for you. A brother couldn't ask for a better sistah if he tried! Happy Iconic Queer Women’s Month!

New York

BLAQUE

On-Location Interviews

Jeffrey L. Page, Director

I was able to sit down with of the brilliant Emmy Award-nominated director/choreographer Jeffrey L. Page, and the beautiful leading lady Laurin Talese who plays Billie Holiday. We were able to meet at the Geva Theatre for a friendly chat to discuss both of their phenomenal careers, and the hard work and dedication it takes to bring the heart and soul of the late Holiday to the present generation.

Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill is a play that reflects on the life of one of the greatest singers in music history. The story takes place in an intimate bar setting where the sensational Billie Holiday performs for an eager and adoring audience. Holiday uses the sultry sound of her voice to tell the ups and downs of her life in what was to be one of her last performances.

se, B i e l a T n i ur

lli e

AN AFTERNOON WITH THE CAST OF GEVA THEATRE’S

JD: Being such an accomplished director and choreographer, where did your career in entertainment begin? JLP: (Taken by surprise, Mr. Page bursts into laughter) Sorry - I wasn’t expecting that question! So I’ll start by telling you how I fell in love with art, and then that will give you more information on my journey. As a little kid in Indianapolis, Indiana, we had these competitions called “Star Quests”. Everyone used to go to this event to see the Hip Hop dancers, singers, etc. So, one day, I auditioned to be apart of this African dance troop. This was an African dance situation and I was the only man, the only boy and I was like ‘what's going on?’ And I liked it, and I stayed. Now, fast forward to me eventually teaching and having a dance company when I was a teenager. Then fast forward to me going to the University of the Arts for a few years, same school that Laurin went to. Then, fast forward to me moving to LA and touring with Beyoncé and actually creating work for Beyoncé for about 14 or so years. Fast forward to, uh, me moving back to New York to perform on Broadway. I, not too long after, started directing and choreographing for Broadway shows. Now, fast forward to me being interviewed in front of your beautiful self, and I'm here.

nist a i P , rock B l l i W

I met with Jeffrey and Laurin in one of the Geva rehearsal halls which was created to reflect the actual set design. The three of us sat at one of the large round tables draped in neatly pressed cream tablecloth. The following is the interview with these vastly talented individuals.

GEVA THEATRE’S

23/24 SEASON SPONSOR

From the Director of Ain’t Misbehavin’:

MARCH 5 -31 Directed by Jeffrey L. Page By Lanie Robertson Musical Arrangements by Danny Holgate Musical Direction by Will Brock With Laurin Talese as Billie Holiday Produced in Association with Philadelphia Theatre Company

Save $10 when you see it in the first week! Ask about onstage seating

GET TICKETS

at GevaTheatre.org or 585-232-4382

BLAQUE

Spotlight Interviews AN AFTERNOON WITH THE CAST OF GEVA THEATRE’S

JD: Now in all this fast forwarding, how many years did it take for you to get to this point? JLP: It has been 30 plus years in the industry. JD: Outside of all of your monumental accomplishments, you mentioned working with Beyoncé for a number of years. I’m curious to know how tired are you of having people focusing in on just the works you’ve done with Beyoncé? JLP: I'm not tired of it at all. I think it's a a humongous blessing to be asked about Beyoncé. I will never be tired of talking about her. I think that she is such an inspiration for what good work and what hard work looks like. What it means to actually be inspired by something and actually want to pursue it, and actually have the wherewithal and ingenuity that can shift the world. I think she is the epitome of that. She's a professional and proud of the work that she puts out. I think she's far from a perfectionist. I think she's an artist. I think being a perfectionist is a disease, and someone who is afraid of doing something that is not...perfect.

LT: That’s actually something that was reaffirmed for me with you last year. I literally had so much resistance with my first show in Philadelphia with Jeffrey. There's something about reading a script in front of a director such as Jeffrey and knowing that you're a beginner at it and knowing that you're not gonna be perfect. But being present enough and humble enough in the biggest way to explore the unknown and not be perfect. Like, the resistance came from me being, like, I have all these amazing, talented actor friends, some of whom he knows. They've studied forever! I really respect the craft and I'm a craftsman too, but I just was like, I gotta be perfect. It has to be! If it's not perfect, I'm not doing it, and that is a disease because what will you do if everything has to be perfect? And what is perfection? Is that even real? It's an illusion. It's not even something that is attainable in the way that we think about perfection. JD: It takes away from the essence of art and creativity! LT: ...and humanity. It opened me up to working with Jeffrey, opened me up to being way more unapologetic about the novice Laurin and exploring more of those parts because you only grow from exploring those parts and you only find out how dynamic you are from delving into the places that you didn't know, like we did when we were younger. When we were, you know, literal children and I could do everything some kind of way. I feel like society, if you let it, tries to condition you and tell you, like, you know, you have to do everything good. JD: So what brought you to this point to wanna be a part of that type of dynamic as an actress? I know your background is more so singing. What made you wanna get into acting and expressing your talent, your art, your craft in acting?

BLAQUE

Spotlight Interviews AN AFTERNOON WITH THE CAST OF GEVA THEATRE’S

LT: I've always respected the craft. Like I said, I have a lot of friends who are just really talented in different ways. One's like into Shakespeare and trained actors in the realm of Broadway. Just different people I went to school with and from afar, I've always been like, that would be really cool to do. I think at the beginning of the year, last year, spiritually, I felt like my mantra for the year was you're worthy right now and you're ready right now as you are with what you have with the gifts that you have right now. You don't need to add another thing. You don't need to look another way. You don't need to sound another way. Right now, you're okay to do this. Like, you give yourself permission to fail or succeed doing what you want to do. Through this play, my first play, I got a chance to explore the the depths of not only Billie's life but mine and my family's lived experiences. I had to to pull up stuff that I tucked deep down that I didn't even remember at first about things that I've seen. Billie struggled with drug abuse, members of my family and everybody else's that struggle with drug abuse, people are struggling right now. You have to remember and actually pull from those experiences that you've tried to tuck away to actually be of service to a role and hopefully impact people for the better. So it's been beautiful and that's what's kept me working with Jeffrey, and also what attracted me to the role, just that fear and curiosity at first.

JD: That ties into my next question for you, Jeffrey. The play that you're working on that is currently touring on Broadway, ‘1776’. I've seen a little piece of that play, and I loved how you used an all women cast to depict that time period. A majority of the women were of color. Representing a time that was dominated by old white men. But you were showing the faces of the people that were behind the scenes that really helped build America. Seeing the message you were conveying there, what's the message or or point you feel is most important to convey to the audience regarding what might have been one of Billie Holiday's last live performances on stage?

JLP: I wanted to show how your greatness can be waiting for you, and all you have to do is shed all of your shit! All of the stuff that you carry, all of the stuff that your mama and daddy done gave you, all your friends and hood done gave you. Telling you that you too black, and you too fat, and you too tall, and you too this and too that...all that other shit that is preventing you from your greatness. I wanted to give an insight to this moment in her life and have it be more celestial. I want it to be seen as her type of purgatory. I think that she is in between the breath of earth and heaven. I believe that this is when God is waiting on the precipice and saying, “Billie Holiday, I'm waiting for you, baby. Just you let me know when you're ready”. So we're watching her shed all of her shit. We're watching her go through her mind and shed all of the molestation and the rape and the abuse and through the power of her voice, through the power of her song, through the power of her storytelling, by the end of the show she is welcomed into her greatest self.

BLAQUE

Spotlight Interviews AN AFTERNOON WITH THE CAST OF GEVA THEATRE’S

JD: Lauren, how did you prepare to fill those types of shoes? LT: Just being available to the real life human experience, reading between the lines and imagining myself as a black woman living, breathing, trying to thrive, trying to take care of myself, leading a band, working amongst mainly men. As a vocalist and recording artist it's not hard to identify with what might have been some of Billie's experiences. JLP: I would also say Laurin’s life has prepared her for this. Exactly what she said, her life has prepared her for this. When we first did this production many, many actors were reaching out to me. Now, this is not any disrespect to folks who reached out to me, but I didn't get excited by anybody. Laurin understood what Billie Holiday's journey had been more than any actor could ever understand. Laurin could understand what it means for people to hear your song and then to go home and cry. I'm very glad that you asked about Beyoncé because I think it's a great pairing. I mean, it's a great way in to especially the LGBTQ community to talk about Billie Holiday, who many people don't fully understand what Billie Holiday is, who Billie Holiday is. She was a part of the community. There’s a responsibility of needing to prophesy to people. And, again, with all due respect to the actors who reached out to me, I didn’t feel that nobody can do that just because you went to Juilliard.

JD: Now, Lauren, you did say that a couple of your inspirations were Nancy Wilson and Sarah Vaughan. Billie Holiday had a very distinct sound. How important was it for you to get the cadence of Billie Holiday? Her sound, that gravelly rasp she had and to make it your own?

LT:

I think one of the things that also really has been beautiful about this process is that I could explore different parts of my voice. I think I sing with a different level of boldness after having done this show. I've stretched my voice out. You know what I mean? I did study in the play, Billie talks about how Bessie Smith and Louis Armstrong were her influences. If you think about it, both their tones do combine to lend to Billie's sound even though she had her own voice as well. So I listened to them, I listened to her, and I definitely pull upon her sound. I’ve heard people that have come to see the show before that were like, I can't believe that was you singing because you did not sound like yourself at all. It's definitely an ode to Billie's sound for sure. But we were not interested on a spot on imitation of her sound, but there's definitely reference, lots of reference, to her sound in the tunes that I sing in the show.

JD:

Last question for you, Jeffrey. What’s the best part of being director and choreographer of your productions?

BLAQUE

Spotlight Interviews AN AFTERNOON WITH THE CAST OF GEVA THEATRE’S

JLP: My job is to create a party where the the stage manager, the actors, the designers, the producers, they have what they need for the party. My job is to put the chips and the dip and the drinks and the strategy so that it all happens without me. So my job is to totally disappear myself from the situation. As a director, I get fulfillment when I know that the situation is happening. I get tremendous fulfillment knowing that I have strategically placed things in the way where it can live on and see progress. JD: Was there healing in this production for either of you, and what do you feel you are going to take away from this production? JLP: I'll say that speaking from myself by myself, and I, Jeffrey, you cannot say this aloud because people will get mad at you. But I'm say this aloud, and say it in a very respectful way. The idea of therapy, I think people we need therapy and we need to talk to people. We need to wrestle with things and reckon with things. What I have found is that because I dive into scripts and I dive into songs and I dive into choreography, it has put a mirror in front of me and and it has been my way of reckoning with self. Every single song, choreography, script that I have ever done, it's helped me to to shift things inside of myself. So it's grown me. Every single thing has grown me and most definitely dealing with with this piece of work has grown me. LT:

I would say the same. I just think overall, it's a gift to remember humanity in all of its dimension. We go through the motions every day. We read about celebrities on our phones. We're scrolling on Instagram, and we're looking at the Shade Room or whatever. Some people are in the comments really wed to specific ideas that they've manufactured through stories, through the media about specific artists. They have strong opinions about what they should do and where they should go and why they said this or that. Yet, they forget that this is literally their sister or their cousin or their neighbor next door. I think that that's something that even in different ways, we just need to be reminded of the fact that we're all doing the best we can, hopefully, with, you know, a few exceptions. But we're all doing the best we can where we are with the tools you've been equipped with and in the best state of mind we could possibly muster up with all the experiences that we've had. We will stumble and we will fall, but we are still valuable even in our worst states, even after the worst day of our lives where we said the worst things or done the worst things. Billie had beautiful qualities that made her Billie. Things that didn't have anything to do with her music. I think that that's something that I'm reminded of in this script. It's transcended into different parts of my life to remember how human it is not to be perfect.

BLAQUE

JAVANNAH’S SHOWTIME REFLECTION The stage was set in a late 1950's bar and grill in Philadelphia with memorabilia from a time long since past. This was the setting from accounts that was said to have been the last place Billie Holiday performed before her transition from this Earth. I had the privilege of sitting in the audience and witnessing the greatness unfold in the brilliant depiction of the legendary Billie Holiday. The power and command behind the main role was magnified by the gifted talent of Laurin Talese. Laurin embodied the raw essence of Billie Holiday. Laurin allowed herself to open up to the spirit of Billie to tell the raw and unfiltered story of a fraction of Billie’s life and experiences. Everything from emotional, physical, and substance abuse, Laurin’s passion and focus manifested a vision of a tormented, yet magnanimous soul that was Billie. Laurin’s soulful and melodic sound bellowed throughout the auditorium that was captivating and transported the audience to another place and time.

Laurin Talese (Billie Holiday), Javannah J. Davis, and Jeffrey L. Page (Director)

Her voice control put emphasis on each and every note that conveyed the feelings and emotions Billie went through during every song performance. The audience interaction in-between each interlude brought a humanity and realness to what may have been Billie’s revelation and reflection of her life during that last performance. By shear luck, I was able to have a very detailed conversation with the writer of this ground-breaking play, Lanie Robertson, who, by secondhand account, confirmed a heartbreaking reality from Billie Holiday’s final performance, which was that she did have that final performance in a small bar in Philadelphia in 1959 where she performed for just 7 people alongside her piano player and her precious dog that followed her all around the bar.

Jeffrey L. Page (Director), Javannah J. Davis, and Lanie Robertson (Writer)

I will forever cherish this experience and performance that paid homage to one of my favorite recording artists in music history.

Learn more about Billie Holiday

http://www.biography.com/musicians/billie-holiday

FLORIDA

NATIONAL POETRY MONTH.

A SELECTION OF ORIGINAL POETRY FROM BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE POET LAUREATE, ASHANTI TAYLORALEXANDER OF PULSE POETRY MAGAZINE

A D D I C T E D

T O

Y O U

E L E V A T E L O V E R S

A N D

U N D E R S T A N D

F R I E N D S T H I S

P A I N

ADDICTED TO YOU

I’M ADDICTED TO YOU I WONDER IF YOU’RE ADDICTED TO ME TOO BECAUSE WITH EVERY SMILE YOU FILL MY NEEDLE WITH MORE OF YOUR COCKTAIL HI, MY NAME IS ADDICT YOUR LAUGH GETS ME EVERYTIME AND AS LONG AS I'M HIGH OFF YOU I KNOW I'LL BE JUST FINE IMPLANTING YOU RIGHT BELOW MY SKIN TO THE NEAREST VEIN YOU NEVER MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M GOING INSANE I TAKE DEEP BREATHS AS I FEEL YOUR HAPPINESS RUN THOUGH MY BLOOD DAMN, I LOVE THIS FEELING CAUSE I'M ADDICTED TO YOU EVERY SECOND YOU’RE NOT IN MY SYSTEM I WANT MORE MORE AND MORE OF YOU YOU ARE NEVER TOO MUCH YOUR TOUCH MAKES ME QUIVER TO THE POINT I'LL OVERDOSE ON YOU ANY DAY OF THE WEEK YOU MAKE ME WEAK IN THE KNEES AT EVEN THE THOUGHT OF YOU BEING NEAR I FEAR I'LL NEVER GET A TASTE OF YOU AGAIN WHEN I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU SO I BEGIN TO FREAK OUT IN NEED OF ANOTHER FIX THE MIX OF YOU IS THE PERFECT COCKTAIL SWEET AND SASSY CONFIDENT AND UNPREDICTABLE I PREDICT THAT YOU'LL BE IN MY FUTURE FOR SURE I NEVER FELT A DRUG LIKE THIS BEFORE GETS ME HIGH OFF LIFE AND SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR SIDE EFFECTS ARE UNCONTROLLABLE SMILES, FEELINGS OF BUTTERFLIES AT THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH, SORENESS OF CHEEKS FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AND YEARS OF HAPPINESS DAMN, I'M ADDICTED TO YOU

ASHANTI TAYLOR-ALEXANDER

I’M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS SENDING MY CONDOLENCES PRAYERS TO THE FAMILY THAT'S ALL I SEEM TO BE ABLE TO READ THE MOMENT THE WORLD FOUND OUT THAT THEY TOOK MY FIRST BORN SEED I REMEMBER MY CHEST BEING WARM MY HEART BEATING SO FAST LIKE IT'S IN A RACE AS THE DAYS WENT BY THE LOOK OF STRENGTH TOOK OVER MY FACE DRENCHED IN MY OWN TEARS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS BUT TO BE HONEST WHAT TO DO NEXT I'M NOT SURE WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU EXPECT TO LIVE WAY PAST YOUR OFFSPRING AND SOMEONE DECIDES TO CHANGE THAT REALITY AND THEN THE PHONE RINGS WHAT DO YOU DO TO PREPARE YOURSELF TO TELL HIS BROTHERS AND SISTER THAT THEIR OLDEST SIBLING IS NO LONGER WITH US I MISS HIM I JUST REALLY, REALLY MISS HIM EVEN AS THE TEARS FLOW I CAN HEAR HIM SAY MOMMA BEAR IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE WITH YOU HOLDING YOU TIGHT YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME JUST THAT EASY I'M LOOKING DOWN ON YOU RIGHT NOW JUST LOOK UP AND YOU CAN SEE ME SEE MY SMILE AS THE FLOWERS BLOOM AND SMELL MY SCENT AS CROSSES THE ROOM MY BODY MAY NO LONGER BE HERE BUT MY SPIRIT SHALL REMAIN FOREVER THAT IS CLEAR IT'S NEVER GOODBYE MOMMA BEAR BUT ALWAYS AND FOREVER I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN R.I.P. DJ

UNDERSTAND THE PAIN

ASHANTI TAYLORALEXANDER

ELEVATE I WISH YOU COULD SEE WHAT I SEE SUCH A WISE MOTHER AND PRETTY DOPE BEING IT'S HARD BEING A MOTHER YET YOU MAKE IT LOOK SO EASY PLEASE BELIEVE ME, I KNOW THE PAINS LONG NIGHTS AND EARLY MORNINGS DON'T EVEN SEEM TO PHASE YOU AFTER A WHILE AND CHANGING DIRTY DIAPERS BEGIN NOT TO SMELL AS BAD IT'S THE MOMENTS OF SADNESS THAT CLOUD YOUR BRAIN THINKING OF THE MANY REASONS YOU DON'T MIND GOING TO JAIL OVER THAT ONE! YOUR VERY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD YOU BIRTHED THAT OH, QUEEN OF MANKIND YOU MANAGED TO GO THROUGH MONTHS OF PAINS AND TEARS MONTHS OF WHAT IFS AND FEARS YOU WENT THROUGH THE HIGHS OF CRAVING AMAZING FOODS AND THE LOWS OF SWOLLEN FEET FROM A BLADDER OF STEEL TO SEARCHING EVERY STORE FOR THE NEAREST TOILET SEAT SO MANY MOMENTS OF “URG MY CLOTHES DON'T FIT” NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE MY QUEEN, YOU ARE THE SHIT BODY CHANGES, MOOD SWINGS, AND MESSED UP ROUTINES YOU OVERCAME IT ALL WITHOUT EVEN A COMPLAINT YOU ARE NOTHING SHORT OF A SAINT DEAR MOTHERS ACROSS THE WORLD THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS, YOUR SACRIFICES AND YOUR TIME THANK YOU FOR YOUR LONG NIGHTS, YOUR BODY ACHES AND FOR ALLOWING YOUR CHILD’S LIGHT TO SHINE MOTHERS DON'T GET ENOUGH CREDIT BUT FOR AS LONG AS I SHALL BREATHE YOU'LL ALWAYS HEAR THIS FROM ME YOU'VE CARRIED THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD FOR FAR TOO LONG TIME TO ELEVATE TO NEW LENGTHS PUT THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD DOWN AND RECOGNIZE YOUR TRUE STRENGTH NO MORE SADNESS AND TEARS FROM YOUR EYES SMILE AND YOU WILL SEE THAT THE BIGGEST FLEX YOU HAVE IS THAT CHILD THAT CALLS YOU MOMMY ELEVATE, MY QUEEN, RISE FOR IT IS YOUR TIME YOU'VE DONE SO MUCH FOR YOUR CHILD YOU DESERVE TO NOW SHINE ELEVATE DON'T BE SCARED ELEVATION IS YOUR NEW CROSS TO BEAR DO THE UNTHINKABLE ACCOMPLISH THE UNIMAGINABLE MY LOVE, IT'S TIME TO ELEVATE

ASHANTI TAYLOR-ALEXANDER

LOVERS AND FRIENDS

WHEN I'M AROUND YOU, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL RATHER TO CONTINUE BEING YOUR FRIEND OR SHOW YOU THAT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE REAL WE LAUGH AND JOKE ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE GOTTEN THAT CHANCE WITH YOU DEEP INSIDE I'M SCREAMING “YOUR PERFECT MATCH IS RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU” WHY DO WE HAVE TO EITHER BE LOVERS OR BE FRIENDS BECAUSE TRUTH BE TOLD I WANT YOU BAD BUT I ALSO NEVER WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO END IT'S THE RAW AND THE REALNESS THAT DRAWS MY ATTENTION IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME SMILE THAT I'LL NEVER FORGET TO MENTION HOW CAN WE SIT ON THE COUCH LAUGHING AND CUDDLING AND YOU THINK OF NOTHING MORE I WANT YOU DEEP DOWN FROM THE DEPTHS ON MY CORE AS YOU TALK, MY EYES CARESS THE CURVES OF YOUR LIPS THE DEEPER YOU SNUGGLE INTO MY ARMS I CAN FEEL THE DIP IN YOUR HIPS MY FRIEND YOU ARE BUT MY SOUL YOU HAVE WILL MY FEELINGS FOR YOU CLASH WITH OUR FRIENDSHIP, WHO KNOWS? WHEN I'M IN YOUR PRESENCE MY SOUL GLOWS FROM THE INSIDE OUT SHOULD I STOP MY FEELINGS FROM RISING, YEAH, I PROBABLY SHOULD AND TO BE HONEST I WOULD IF I COULD IT'S THE FACT THAT YOU’RE THE MOST PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BEING I KNOW WHEN I LOOK AT YOU I'M LOOKING AT THE BEST VERSION OF ME MY HEARTS THE SAFE AND THE KEY YOU HOLD WE ALREADY SAID GROWING OLD TOGETHER IS THE GOAL I JUST WISH YOU KNEW HOW MUCH OF MY SOUL YOU TRULY HAD TO ME, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY LOVER AND TO YOU, I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FRIEND BUT KNOW THAT WHATEVER WE ARE I NEVER WANT IT TO END

KIERRA

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

NATIONAL LGBTQ TASKFORCE

A TAMARA LEIGH INTERVIEW

JOHNSON

Blaque/OUT Magazine Editor, Tamara Leigh sits down with the dynamic Executive Director of the National LGBTQ Task Force, Kierra Johnson. Johnson discusses her journey to leadership, stewarding such a relevant organization in a challenging political climate as well as directing a convening as significant as their annual Creating Change Conference. Learn more about Kierra Johnson's intersections and how they influence the work she does, the way she approaches it and the leader she has grown to be. A mom, a leader, a voice, a Black woman, a Queer identity and existing in what is still a largely male, cis, white leaning field.

FLORIDA

SLAM

“NIGHTMARES

DREAMS”.

IMMANI

LOVE

An interview with an LGBTQ Tampa Bay Poet that has been making a name for themselves over the years while also uplifting POC women and youth by speaking their truth.

C O V E R

S T O R Y

Immani Love: Slam, thank you for taking the time to speak with me. Let’s start by introducing yourself. BlaqueOut Magazine readers want to know, Who you are, what you do, and what led you to it?

@ Z E E N Y . N Y A R T

B Y @ G E I S H A I S T O A R T I S T

Slam Anderson: My name is Slam Anderson, I always say that I’m one of many as everyone is in the world. I like to say that for everyone, I like to say it for everyone to remind them that we are all of many, we’re not just one thing. So I am a spoken word poet, a writer, a performer and an outreach coordinator for Kitchen Table Literary Arts [KTLA]. That’s [KTLA] one of my biggest passions and one of the biggest things I’m working on. I’m hoping to have a long, long, long run with them. I talk career because I tell people I have a job but that’s not my career. I want Kitchen Table to be my career. Not just the outreach coordinator but to move up and continue to help the organization build and grow. We are an organization dedicated to Black women, women of color writers, poets, and reader enthusiasts. People who love to read and be in a writing atmosphere. People who want to learn more about literature. Being a person who loves writing and loves reading, I see things from all angles. I understand that there are people that don’t like to write but they love to read and they love to learn about literature. There’s people like that and we’re an organization for people who love literature too. Maybe you’re

ANDERSON

SLAM not a writer, that’s not your thing but you love to read and you love to be in that atmosphere. We are based in Tampa, Florida, established in 2014 with writer and author, Sheree L. Greer, as our founder, and we’re about to hit 10 yrs! 2024 makes a decade for us. I experienced a lot of firsts with this organization. I did a lot of things for the first time with Kitchen Table that I was very proud of. As far as how did I get there, let me continue, I’m also a founding member of an organization called You Are Unbelievably Resilient [USF] (https://www.ur-resilient.org)— we are an organization of foster alumni, we are all adults who grew up in the foster care system, aged out of the foster care system, adopted, or in some way affected by the foster care and child welfare system. We all came together by director, Sean Anders, who directed the movie Instant Family which talks about 3 foster siblings who went into the foster care system and got adopted. I grew up in the foster care system and am an advocate for those going through it now. I tell my story because I don’t need pity, I want to inspire, I don’t need anything but to see things change. To let someone else see that this isn’t it, you can keep going and get whatever you want. This is just a part of your life but it doesn’t have to be your whole life. I came to Tampa at age 17 after leaving foster care. I started at USF and my Resident Assistant (RA) introduced me to The Poets at USF (TP) and being part of TP kind of just changed my life and opened doors and allowed me to grow and not “find myself” ( I don’t like to say find myself, I’m trying to retrain my language) but create myself. I can’t find something if I’ve never been here, even though I feel like I’ve been here before, I’ve never been here. I’m not lost in this world, I’m creating myself in this

universe. It helped me create the person I wanted to be and helped me heal from a lot of things. It encouraged me and helped me find my family because I was still separated from my siblings. I give poetry and writing and everything it gave to me credit for that. Poetry gave me a sense of confidence, comfort, and security that gave me the strength to do that. And from TP I was able to connect and network and meet so many great people and Sheree. Then I got with Kitchen Table and the rest is history. Immani Love: So what does poetry mean to you? Slam Anderson: I want to say that when I started writing I didn’t call it poetry. That was a term I learned later. I was just writing feelings and emotions, and things that I couldn’t say out loud. Poetry became my voice, gave me a way to hide. I could talk about what I was going through without people knowing it was me. I needed that, I needed that security to be able to get it out but I didn’t want people to know it was me. It was my voice, my protector, it shielded me from unwanted things so I could hide in the poetry. It was my best friend. All I need is my words. I have to create. No matter what I’m doing, even if I’m not performing or publishing, I have to write. I always have to be writing. It’s comfort to me. I can tell when I haven’t written for a long time because I’ll get a lot more anxious. So it helps with my anxiety, I have to write. Immani Love: “Slam” is a unique name, how did you get it? Slam Anderson: My friends at TP named me that. I used to watch Def Poetry Jam once I got into writing. That was my first introduction into spoken word and slam poetry. I didn’t even know it was called that. The first time I

went to TP, I was very nervous. What helped though was there were only a few people there. When the president at the time, Denisha Lawton asked me, (all love to Denisha) she asked, “what’s your name”, and I told her my real name. She was like, “no I mean like a stage name, do you have a stage name? What do you do?” I said, what do I do? I said, I think I do slam poetry but I don’t have a name or anything. She said, “don’t worry, I’ve got you!” So she told me to go back to my seat and when she called me up, she said, “let’s give it up for The Slam Poet!” I was like ohhh! I didn’t tell her I was The Slam Poet! But I went up and I did a piece about my mom called “Casualty” about domestic violence and her experience with it. I performed with my eyes closed. That’s how scared I was. It was quiet, but I kept going. And I remember when I was done and spoke my last word and I opened my eyes, and people were shouting, running up to me, my friend that was with me was in tears, she was like, “Oh my gosh, I’ve never heard you sound like that, you seem like a whole different person.” Everybody was giving me so much love and affirmation and confirmation. I was overwhelmed but I was like, this is where I’m supposed to be. So she actually gave me the name, Slam Poet, and everyone started calling me that. But as I got older I realized I was more than just a slam poet, but I liked slam because I am that too, so I took off the poet and was just called Slam. People around campus started calling me Slam, they didn’t even know my real name, just knew me as Slam and it was more than just a stage name, it was me. Immani Love: I’ll have you know it was years before I knew your real name, I believe Sheree finally told me your real name. Slam Anderson: I have a friend who

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SLAM when I told him my real name, he was like, “Nah, you look like a Slam, I’m gonna keep calling you that!” When I see you, I see Slam. Immani Love: What year and how long have you been doing poetry? Slam Anderson: I started at USF in ’07, I had been writing for a long time but when I really started getting to it, I think it was probably 2008/2009 at TP. I got with Kitchen Table in 2014 and I had stopped with TP about a year before that. I had eventually become president and host of TP which is what got me into mentoring. Being president gave me a chance to mentor other poets. Give them that affirmation and encouragement that I got from TP and try to give them the same feeling that I had that was just that you’re home, you don’t have to be an amazing poet or a poet at all. Just come and be in an atmosphere where you can just feel free, that’s what TP was, it was a place where people could be free, be themselves, and there was no judgment. Immani Love: Is TP still going on? Slam Anderson: It was the last time I checked. After me, it went to Jasmin Lankford then to ZenChristian Davis, Chael Blinya, and T.K. McConnehead. As far as I know, they are still going at least as of 2 years ago. One of these days, I plan to do a TP Reunion. It really did have an effect on a lot of poets in Tampa and as far away as Jacksonville. It was a staple for some of the veteran poets so I’d love to do a reunion. Immani Love: April is National Poetry month, as a poet, how do you celebrate? Slam Anderson: Me, I try to do 30/30, writing a poem every day, I try but I never make it through the whole month.

I tend to get long winded so I never really make it through. Last year, I decided to freestyle on the spot poems, and I wrote and recorded what I was doing on my instagram stories. I prefer that more than writing sometimes, especially for 30/30. National Poetry Month for me is about more than just writing, it’s about getting more engulfed in poetry. For me it’s about bringing other people into it. I use my 30/30 to try to inspire others to get into poetry and 30/30 and use this month as a focus on poetry. Even if you’re not writing poetry, I encourage you to read a poem every day. Support a poet for the month of April, whether you buy a book, send a donation, or go to a poetry show. However you do it, just get into poetry for the month of April. Go to a poetry show, sit in the audience and just sit in that atmosphere and be inspired. That’s what National Poetry Month is to me; it's about inspiring people and being inspired. Immani Love: How do you speak to the person that says they’re not a poet because they don’t follow the literary rules? Like for me, when I started doing erotic poetry, I had imposter syndrome really bad because no matter how good people said I was, I felt I wasn’t following literary rules of poetry. In some communities where a person gets a degree in English and studies poetry, you think of Keats and Poe, and you don’t think of the average person that just wants to express themselves. So as a poet that encourages people to write and perform, when a person comes to you and says, “I’m not a poet because I don’t follow the rules.” What do you say to them? Slam Anderson: Truthfully, in my opinion, it may be controversial, but there’s a difference between being an expressionist and a poet. When people

come to me and say things like that I tell them, “Everyone’s a poet.” If you express yourself, write it down, if you call it poetry, it’s poetry. But I’m a literary facilitator and I know the rules as well. I tell people there’s a difference. I ask what they want to do with their writing. Do they want to publish writing and get people to read it and get paid? Because that’s a different set of rules for someone who writes for fun and publishes their own things and gets it out to whoever gets it. So I guess I ask what is your purpose? Is this a career for you or is this an outlet, how I heal, my fun, my hobby? If this is your career and job, I want to be a published poet and I want to be recognized. And if that’s your approach, then you have to know the rules because the editors are going to make you know the rules. Learning the rules also helps you bend the rules to fit your style. If they say they just want to express themselves, they just need to get things out. I tell them don’t worry about the rules, just express, be you, let it out, because it’s for you. Sometimes the stuff for us can help someone else, there’s always at least one person that says to you, “Thank you for writing and saying that, or you touched my heart for saying that.” That’s why I like to facilitate and coach because I like to work with all types of writers with different aspirations. Same thing with slam poetry, like are you trying to win? Or you just want to get up there and slam something to get the feel for it. In general, we’re all expressionists, and expression is a big part of poetry. Immani Love: I understand you’re involved with an art project in some way, tell us more about that. Slam Anderson: So my friend painted some things for me, her name is Michelle Thornton. She’s my ex, we were dating, and she would paint them for

A N D E R S O N

YBOR

CITY,

@ZEENO.NY TAMPA, FL

SLAM me for birthday gifts. I love the paintings because they all are in some way fused with my poetry. Like the first one I got is of Malcolm X, and I love Malcolm X not only because of what he represents for the Black community, if I put all of that aside, I love him for his story. His journey, everything he went through, for me he is a grand example of 'it's not how you start, it’s how you finish and everything in between.' You can always change and do something different, that’s what I see throughout his story. He was a foster care kid, he had people discouraging him and he was discouraging himself; he learned to change and transform to be this different person. I hate when people say I can’t change. I feel like as long as you have breath, you can change. So this painting was a replica of a poster I got at my first Southern Fried (a big poetry competition.) There was this stand that was selling these painted pictures of different people. It was my souvenir from that competition and it got ripped so she painted that same picture for me. Then, 2 of them are pictures of me, images of me in the midst of my performances. Another one is an interpretation of the 2nd poem I ever wrote. It’s called “The Dream”. It’s the poem that helped me win all the slams. I knew if I did that poem I knew I was going to win. It’s a true poem. The ending of it says, “I grabbed a star and watered it with my tears and watched it blossom.” In the picture is a miniature me, a silhouette, faceless, hanging from a mountain, with one arm and the other arm is hyperextended, exaggerated reaching to grab a star. Below the person is all of this destruction but these little flower petals coming to it. I love looking at these paintings because I love what they represent and the journey they mean to me. All of the paintings are in the colors red, black and white. Those are my favorite colors. I .

like red, black and white but they have to be together. Red and black are my colors, Valentine’s is my favorite holiday so I like red because it represents love, the heart, blood, and pain. I love everything that’s symbolized by red. I love black. They say it symbolizes darkness but to me it symbolizes a lot of things. It's a whole, it’s infinity, you can look at it and stare at it and see eternity. Like black holes, they don’t scare me, it sounds cool because you wonder where it leads. White has to be with the other colors. I don't like it by itself. I like it with red and black. Immani Love: If you have a motto or favorite phrase, what is it, and why? Slam Anderson: My old favorite phrase was sometimes the nightmares lead to a dream. So I would say “Nightmares to Dreams” but now I’ve been saying “I Eat Resilience.” Because I eat resilience for breakfast, I’m all resilience. I’m going to always keep going. I may twist, I may bend, I may take moments where I say don’t mess with me, or lock myself in a room but I’m never, ever, ever gonna break. I’ll have my moments but I’m not going to break. You can have moments to go crazy or get depressed for a few days but you know you’ll always bounce back because you eat it. Immani Love: If you had one thing to say to your 13 yr old self, what would it be? Slam Anderson: You are beautifully handsome, just as you are. That was my issue, I had a lot of self-esteem issues. I tell my nephew the same thing, I say you’re beautifully handsome and he says “Both?”, and I say, yes you’re BOTH! Immani Love: So in that same lane, What are your pronouns?

Slam Anderson: She/Her but I’ve been known to answer to ‘he’, I don’t get mad about it. If you catch me in a certain light, I understand. Immani Love: If there’s one thing you want people to know about you, or take away from this interview, what would it be? Slam Anderson: Same thing I said in the beginning, really expressing the fact that I’m one of many. I’m not just one thing. If we can understand that everybody in the entire universe is not just one thing. Not just what you see. Because people have things that they don’t show you and they don’t have to show you. No one is entitled to know everything about us. But it does not take away from who we are. We are not one of anything. We are many, we have many forms, in how we feel, in how we learn, we are many and have many ways. I’m one of many. We’re one of many and it’s ok. Immani Love: How can we find you? Slam Anderson: I am working on my website, which will be done by the end of the year which is… SlamAnderson.com (coming soon) IG- @SlamDaArtist I’m getting more into my artistry, people associate artists with a lot of things versus just writer or just poet, I do a lot of things. FB- Slam Anderson but I’m probably going to delete soon Kitchen Table Literary Arts Center www.kitchen-table.org Immani Love: Is there anything that we haven’t covered that you want to share? Slam Anderson: Donate to Kitchen Table! We’re always looking for donations and we do have summer classes coming up. @ImmaniLove She/Her

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www.kitchen-table.org

We sat down to talk with Bee, part of the Leadership team for the 2024 Trans Rights Readathon, March 22nd - 29th. The Trans Rights Readathon is an annual Call-to-Action for readers and book lovers in support of Trans Day Of Visibility on March 31st. Throughout the Readathon, the community is being called to uplift books written by or featuring Trans, GenderQueer, NB, GNC and Two-Spirit authors, characters and storylines. If you missed it this year, make sure you don’t miss it next year! To learn more, visit: https://transrightsreadathon.carrd.co/

WATCH ON YOUTUBE

THE OLD MAN'S CORNER W AN E.L. WINSTON INTERVIEW

BEE

book therapy

W I T H W I N S T O N & T H E B O O K B A N G E R Z B O O K C L U B

JOIN US FOR CONVERSATION ABOUT OUR BOOK OF THE MONTH ON THE 15TH OF EVERY MONTH ON FB & IG LIVE @BLAQUEOUTMAG

featuring author, Immani Love

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NORTH CAROLINA

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In honor of BlaqueOut’s tribute to iconic Queer women and this being national poetry month, I am excited to review a book from one of our very own… Ms. Immani Love. I enjoyed going through her book, Four Seasons. If you’re under 18, it’s not for you and if you're scared of the word ‘sex’, then it’s not for you either. As long as these don’t apply, then this is a book you’ll enjoy. Four Seasons is actually a collection of short stories, but you get to enjoy some of Love’s poetry throughout the book. The opening of the book with her poem, “Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover” helps you understand her thinking. It’s all about the different ways Queer love looks in the world. No one way to be whether you are a lesbian, gay, bi, etc. Into the short stories, it’s all erotic. The ladies are on the takeover. There are scenes of intimacy that take you from the office to the bedroom to the playground. The fun part is that they are the kinds of things that are capable of the average person, but explore the spice of sexual encounters. Love takes the regular spaces and turns them into exciting environments. “What Happens in Vegas” explores the thrilling nature of threesomes without the drama. By the time we hit summer, we’re in the jungle of the Amazon traveling trails and beautiful bodies. In fall, there is the intruder fantasy finishing with a tender love. And winter doesn’t disappoint as there is some “Cabin Fever” to help you stay warm. Immani Love is not afraid of the words it takes to vividly describe passion and intimacy. Enjoy your deep dive into Four Seasons with all the twists, turns, and curves of the female body. Even if you think you don’t like to read…let me introduce you to what you’d like…Four Seasons by Immani Love.

ICONIC WOMEN ON THE MOVE

NEW YORK

TEE DOUGLAS

Interview with Monique Campbell (she/her)

Monique Campbell is the site operations manager for the San Francisco Community Health Center (Taimon Booton Navigation Center). In her role, she manages an 84 bed temporary shelter and housing facility for Trans, Gender expansive and Cis Gender women who are unhoused, engage in sex work and are escaping from intimate partner violence (IPV). She also assists in overseeing 43 staff members working in the facility, making sure everything stays in compliance and that the facility is welcoming to all guests. I had the pleasure of speaking with Mrs. Campbell to find out more about the work she does, why she does it and a few other fun facts along the way.

TD: How long have you been in your current role?

MC: I've been in my current role since January 1st of this year. Actually, I was promoted less than 3 months ago.

TD: What did you do in your previous role? MC: Previously I was the program manager for Trans Thrive.

Trans Thrive is the only exclusive Trans-led drop-in center for Trans and Gender Non- conforming people in the greater Bay Area. So I managed a facility that was exclusive for Trans people and the only exclusive Center for Trans people in Northern California.

TD: What got you into this type of work? Is there something that specifically inspired you, do you have a story behind how you got into it or is it just something that you just said you know I see the need and I'm here?

MC: I was introduced to emergency medicine at a very very young age and I was thrusted into a position of being a caretaker for my mother. I would say it was around 14 or 15 years old. She had a horrible accident and I was introduced to emergency medicine. I was also introduced to medical mistrust for Black people. This was actualized and I witnessed it first hand. This inadvertently changed the direct trajectory of my own life, and what I mean by that is; because I was so involved and immersed in the medical field, while being in my developmental stages of life, I started to adapt and learn from all of the jargon that was spoken around me. I was able to articulate in a different way, which put me on an educational journey to caring for people. So at an early age I dedicated my life to service and I never knew that everything that I did would continue to put me in places where I'm serving others. So this past February 12th I was able to celebrate 19 years of me actually being in Social Services and Public Health.

TD: Congratulations on 19 years! That is a long time. How have you sustained 19 years in service? Because we all know that 19 years in service you can get burned out so what do you do to make sure that you have sustained and are still sustaining?

MC: I'm still figuring it out. I really am still trying to figure it out and I take a break as best as I possibly can. My workload has increased as I've gotten older and so the ability to maintain or create a work life balance has been damn near impossible, but I prayed for it. I try to maintain a plant mind. I like to do self-care. I just learn and read so I study whatever requires me to detach from work for as long as I possibly can but I'm always on call.

TD: So what inspires you? Are there role models or historical figures that inspire you in life or in your work?

MC: I am inspired by my mother. She was the first Black woman to show me what strength was like and having to face adversity and keep it together. So I'm inspired by her and I think that's what I pull from when I am really really drained and in the work. I'm in the mud of the work and so I just pull from the experience of having her and witnessing that of her. Secondly, I would have to say one of my first mentors as I got into social work was Miss Violet Edwards Tale. May she rest in peace. She's actually from the East Coast but she believed in me and saw something in me that I didn't see in myself, and what I mean by that Is

that I had no experience working in residential treatment or in a group home. But she believed in me and gave me my entry position into working in that field of Social Services; social work. That experience inspired me so much and impacted me. It was one of those pivotal moments that altered the trajectory of my life and got me into social work. Also, Tori Cooper, she's currently at HRC. She has no idea but she has made an impact on my life more than ever and it has inspired me and put me in a position where I see my value and I'm not letting up on the gas on making sure that I access my value in whatever space I’m in, so definitely Tori Cooper. Dr. Tatiana Moatan has opened doors for me and the love I have for her is indescribable. Mama Dana Williams as well has impacted me in tremendous ways and I love her to death. I can go on and on. There are so many Black women and I say Black women because you know I must quote Malcom X “the most disrespected person in America is the Black woman” and these Black women have helped sustain this Black Trans Woman.

TD: What's the top two songs that you played this week? MC: Well there's a song that I was playing all day today by Gene Moore “Won't Be Moved“ and the other one is “Moving On” by Jonathan McReynolds. This week these songs are pouring into my cup… and restoring me.

TD: Earlier you said you like to read, give me two of your favorite books? MC: “The Four agreements” and I am currently reading “Thinking Fast and Slow”

TD: What are two things on your bucket list that you have yet to do? MC: Buy my first home and travel out of the country

TD: If you could have dinner with two people, historical icons, dead or alive, who would those two people be and what would you talk about? MC: My parents. And we're gonna talk about a whole lot! I'm probably going to be crying the whole first hour.

TD: What is the Monique Campbell theme song? That one song when you hear it you know you go into that mode. What song is that for you? MC: “I'm a DIva” by Lil Mo’

Trans Thrive accepts clothing donations. All underwear must be new, fresh and in a package. Clothing can be lightly worn or new. Clothing deliveries are accepted at any time and no appointment is necessary. Monetary donations are accepted. Trans Thrive is a non-profit organization and is a FQHC (Federally Qualified Health Center).

FLORIDA

In an era of social injustice and internalized oppression, Gladys Bentley was not afraid to let her authentic self shine through adversity. Born Gladys Alberta Bentley in 1907 in Philadelphia, Gladys presented her eccentric identity along with her admiration of jazz and blues influences across various stages throughout the 1920s and 1930s. She moved from Philadelphia to a colorful neighborhood called Harlem by 1925. She entranced her audiences with her talents, being praised and hated for her bold escape from society’s regulatory system. Bently’s unique style, which explored both her feminine and masculine sides, went against the stereotypical gender roles that had dominated the general public’s perception. She shamelessly promoted herself as a masculine, cross-dressing woman, rocking crisp suits and shined top hats while embracing her feminine side just the same through her seductive performances and flirtatious stage presence. Bentley hosted many parties throughout Harlem which gradually became a place where people could come and be their true selves, other LGBTQ+ upcoming artists would often come to show off their musical talents as well.

O U R

Y O U T H

B L A Q U E / O U T

GLADYS BENTLEY: A

Q U E E R

By Alexis Mechelle she/her/hers

S H E R O

In the heat of prejudice and discrimination against her sexual orientation, Bentley never shielded her persona from the world, not once. She prided herself on her connection to her queer identity. Bentley inspired countless individuals to embrace his or her gender identity and to be the best version of themselves. Her work stood as a beacon of hope to many people just like her and more. Sadly, as the Conservative Era dawned and the McCarthy Era dusked, Bentley was pushed into a life of mystery. She disappeared from the public eye and passed away in 1960. Though she had crossed over, her life and what she did during her years lived on, even now, as new generations discover and celebrate what she did for the LGBTQ+ community and the music industry. In 2008, Gladys Bentley was admitted to the Blues Hall of Fame in recognition of her free spirit and dedication. As a younger member of the LGBTQ+ community, I find Gladys’ bravery inspiring. If I were in her shoes O M Ato D I do, C |but 2 4I’m for a day, I don’t think I’d knowNwhat grateful that she and so many others were able to stand up above the societal expectations and be themselves.

FLORIDA

LEGISLATIVE REPORT

Proposed & Defeated U.S. Anti-Trans Legislation WRITTEN BY: TINA MARIE JONES

Let’s be clear: Trans Rights are Queer Rights; Trans Rights are Civil Rights; Trans Rights are Human Rights. Trans Rights are RIGHT! But it is copiously clear that republicans, conservatives, and some democrats don’t agree with this sentiment. Despite there being over 1.6 million Transgender people in the United States (Williams Institute, 2022), lawmakers don’t feel as though these Americans deserve the right to live comfortably, similarly to other Americans.

CONTACT:

LOVELYTMARIE

MISSTMARIEJONES1@GMAIL.COM

In 2021, 143 anti-Trans bills were considered, and 18 were passed. In 2022, 174 anti-Trans bills were considered and 26 were passed. In 2023, 600 anti-Trans bills were considered, and 87 passed. As of March of 2024, 523 anti-Trans bills have been considered, 10 have passed, (2024 Anti-Trans Bills Tracker, 2024). The top states to introduce anti-Trans legislation are (2024 Anti-trans Bills Tracker, 2024): Oklahoma with 60. Missouri with 44. South Carolina with 31. West Virginia with 30. Iowa with 28. Tennessee with 27. Mississippi with 19. New Hampshire with 17. Wisconsin with 17. Idaho with 14. Minnesota with 14. As you can see, not all bills introduced to the House of Representatives or the Senate were passed. In Florida, 22 bills were introduced to the Florida Legislature, but thankfully only 1 moved forward. Of the denied bills, the state wanted to expand on the “Don’t Say Gay” Act by preventing government programs and businesses with government contracts from sharing their pronouns.

The state also wanted to prevent nonprofits in the state from educating individuals on LGBTQ issues. Another bill would have required transgender individuals to change their driver's license sex marker to match the sex assigned at birth. The state also wished to penalize insurance companies that covered gender-affirming care, which we will speak about later in this piece. Thankfully these bills will not see the light of day! This is something to rejoice about! Some of the major topics of the bills being introduced are education, sports, and healthcare. In education, some of the bills propose discrimination against Trans students in educational settings by allowing the misgendering of students as well as denying students the right to assert their pronouns and chosen names. Educational bills striving to ban basic gender identity instruction. Some bills want to force teachers or education staff to out Trans students to their parents (2024 Anti-trans Bills Tracker, 2024). Many states have already enacted laws/regulations preventing Transgender youth from participating in sports (Bans on Transgender Youth Participation in Sports, 2024): Alabama 2021 Alaska 2023 Arizona 2022.

cont.’d

cont.’d Arkansas 2021 Florida 2021 Idaho 2020 Indiana 2022 Iowa 2022 Kansas 2023 Kentucky 2022 Louisiana 2022 Mississippi 2021 Montana 2021 North Carolina 2023 North Dakota 2023 Ohio 2024 Oklahoma 2022 South Carolina 2022 South Dakota 2021 Tennessee 2021 Texas 2021 Utah 2022 West Virginia 2021 Wyoming 2023 Of all the topics, healthcare is the topic that is most prevalent in these anti-Trans bills. Gender affirming medical care, any medical care that people get to bring their bodies into more comfortable alignment with their sense of gender should be supported. Some of these medical care techniques are IUDs, erectile dysfunction medication, laser hair removal, and breast reduction surgeries. Most people assume this care is limited to consultation, therapy, hormone replacement, and surgeries to change genders of youth and adults. Gender affirming medical care encompasses all of the above (Sosin, 2023). It is important to understand that not all Trans or Non-binary people require or have interest in receiving the same medical care. This is why medical staff meet with each individual and create an individualized care plan. Ideally, medical staff want to prevent Gender Dysphoria, the discomfort and anxiety felt

B L A Q U E / O U T M A G A Z I N E I N V I T E S Y O U T O J O I N U S I N S H A R I N G V I D E O S & S T O R I E S O F H O W B U L L Y I N G H A S A F F E C T E D T H E C O U R S E O F O U R L I V E S . T O S H O W T H E W O R L D W H A T T H E I R H A T E D O E S A S W E L L A S S H O W O U R Y O U T H T H A T T H E Y A R E N O T A L O N E , W E L O V E T H E M A N D T H A T T O G E T H E R , W E C A N G E T T H R O U G H T H I S ! P O S T A V I D E O W I T H Y O U R S T O R Y & T H E H A S H T A G # I V E B E E N N E X O R S U B M I T A V I D E O T O U S V I A D M O R E M A I L T O T A M A R A L E I G H @ B L A Q U E O U T M A G . C O M A S W E S T A N D T O G E T H E R T O H O N O R N E X ’ S M E M O R Y A N D I N R E C O G N I T I O N O F T R A N S D A Y O F V I S I B I L I T Y M O N T H B Y D E M A N D I N G S A F E S P A C E S & F U L L , H A P P Y L I V E S F O R E A C H & E V E R Y L G B T Q I A + Y O U T H & A D U L T .

when one’s physical gender and one’s gender identity is not the same. People who suffer from Gender Dysphoria can suffer from severe negative impacts in their ability to live, increased anxiety, symptoms of depression, and even suicide. For many, Gender Dysphoria is only improved by medical transitioning. This is why many describe gender affirming care as life saving care. Accessing this care has decreased the odds of suicide or self-harm, even decreased depression and other psychological suffering in adults (Sosin, 2023). In 2021, Arkansas was the first state to introduce a ban against gender affirming care for youth, this includes hormone therapy and surgical care. In 2022, Alabama followed suit and passed the Alabama Vulnerable Child Compassion and Protection Act which prevented doctors from providing the same care to their patients. In January 2020, South Dakota passed a bill criminalizing gender affirming care for youth 16 and younger, both hormonal and surgical. This was right after the state failed to pass the Bathroom Bill, preventing Trans and gender nonconforming people from safely using the bathroom of their choice (Jae A. Puckett, 2018). In 2018, 2 bills were introduced against gender affirming care. In 2019, 4 bills were introduced. In 2020, 24 bills were introduced and by 2023, 185 bills were introduced. So far in 2024, 132 bills have been introduced against gender affirming care (2024 Anti-trans Bills Tracker, 2024). What this all boils down to is, we have to VOTE!! Every state, register and vote. We can’t keep letting this happen. The more we sit back and talk about it but don’t be about it…. the more of this we will see. We have to be the change we want to see in the world. Let’s get out and vote!!

#IVE BEEN NEX

ALABAMA

LESBIAN

STRAIGHT WOMAN IT’S THE REALIZATION OF WANTING TO TOUCH OR PUT YOUR FACE SO DEEP IN HER PUSSY YOU DROWN FOR A MINUTE OR TWO, IN IT EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T ANYMORE/ YEARNING FOR IT SO BAD THAT YOUR MOUTH WATERS LIKE A PERSON DEPRIVED AND FAMINE OF FOOD AND WATER FOR YEARS/ SERIOUSLY, FUCK DAYS OR WEEKS/ I MEAN THE GUT WRENCHING PINCH, AGONIZING PAIN IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH YOU GET/ BEING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THE BEING YOU LONG FOR AND THEY NOT EVEN PART THEIR LIPS TO SPEAK TO YOU/ ARMS LENGTH DISTANCE BETWEEN THE TWO AND WE STILL CAN’T GET THIS SHIT TOGETHER/ MONTHS PASS BY WITHOUT EVEN A STROKE OF/ EGO/ AT THE BARE MINIMUM, LOOKING FOR THEM TO SHOW THE SLIGHTEST SIGN OF ENTHUSIASM WHEN YOU LOCK EYES WITH THEM/ INSTEAD OF THE RUGGED GLARE OF IRRITATION THAT PIERCED THROUGH THE SIDE EYE THAT WAS OFFERED IN ITS PLACE/ SO YOU DECIDE TO MAKE THE EXCUSE/ SHE PROLLY IN ONE OF HER MOODS/ AND PROLLY NEED A MINUTE OR TWO, SO BE COOL/ EITHER WAY, WHEN YOU WALK PAST THE ROOM SHE’S SMIRKING AT THE TEXT CONVO SHE’S SO DEEPLY ENGAGED IN/ YOU OFFER UP THE UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS THAT NEED TO BE HAD BECAUSE AT THIS POINT YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH/ TO SPARE THE HARDSHIP OF BEING THE LAST ONE TO FIND OUT THAT THEY HAVE ALREADY DECIDED TO MOVE ON/ WHILE YOU HOLD ON TO THE IMAGE OF A MIRAGE THEY PAINTED FOR YOU IN THE PROCESS OF PLANNING THEIR LIFE TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU/ I’M SO GAY I CAN’T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT/ SO LET ME BE STRAIGHT TO THE POINT/ THE POSTED UP PAIN OF JUST TELLING ME WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL/ SNATCH THE BANDAID OFF ME/ MAKE THE DEAL/ ARE WE LOCKED IN? OR HAS ALL THIS SHIT BEEN JUST PRETEND/ BECAUSE INSTEAD OF YOU BEGGING TO BE MY LOVER, YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED MY FRIEND/

LADE BREEZ

DIAMOND INTERVIEW W/ E.L. WINSTON

STYLZ

WATCH ON YOUTUBE

E.L.WINSTON SITS DOWN WITH DIAMOND STYLZ™, A BLACK, TRANS, MILLENNIAL ACTIVIST AND COMMUNITY ICON. THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF BLACK TRANS WOMEN INC, (A NATIONAL NON-PROFIT THAT IS LED BY BLACK TRANS WOMEN FOCUSED ON SOCIAL ADVOCACY, POSITIVE VISIBILITY, AND BUILDING STRONG LEADERSHIP AMONG BLACK TRANS ADVOCATES, ACTIVISTS, AND ALLIES), DIAMOND IS ALSO THE PRODUCER AND CREATOR OF MARSHA’S PLATE PODCAST. SELF-DESCRIBED AS THE "PODCAST THAT KNOWS THAT EVERYBODY CAN’T COME TO THE COOKOUT," WHICH HIT THE SCENE IN 2017 AS THE 1ST PODCAST OF ITS KIND. COME TAKE A LISTEN TO THEIR INFORMATIVE AND FUNNY CONVERSATION, YOU'RE GUARANTEED TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW AND INTERESTING ABOUT THIS LIVING, BREATHING LEGEND. HTTPS://PODCASTS.APPLE.COM/US/PODCAST/MARSHAS-PLATE-BLACK-TRANS-PODCAST/ID1293033444ETHING

NORTH CAROLINA

LOVE LIVES IN US...

The Winstons WINSTON AND THE MRS. (E.L. AND RONI)

Love lives in us…the Winstons and we want to share a little bit of it with you. According to Paul Tournier, “Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.” Culturally, we are taught to win which is not a bad thing. It’s the thing that gets you the job, wins you the house bid, and keeps you pushing to the next level. In a significant other relationship, though it can be trouble. You can think of yourself as a winner and sometimes even win, but if you’re doing that with your partner, then you become the loser.

The Mrs. I am a very competitive person. I like to win. Actually, I looooove to win. As a matter of fact, I am so competitive that Winston will not be my Spades partner. Very early on in our marriage we played together and it was a disaster. It was a simple change. We just don’t play Spades together. This competitive nature is something that serves me well when Winston and I engage in various activities though such as board games, team competitions, and the like. Since I know that I have this competitive nature, what I had to realize about myself is that I could not bring that competitive nature home. Winston and I are not competitors in our relationship. I’m never trying to beat him in anything we do. It means we are a partnership which has us working together for our collective greatness. Even when we don’t see eye to eye on a thing, we discuss it. We don’t compete about whose right. I listen to his input rather than try to win the disagreement with all my opinions. I recognize that this guy I love is intelligent and full of different perspectives that I need to honor. Loving Winston means that we are not in competition. Our success is based on our collaboration.

Thoughts to Leave You

Winston LOL! I'm not playing no spades or dominoes with the Mrs. Her competitive behavior is OD, but one place it never shows up is in our relationship. I've been in those types of relationships in the past and let me tell you there is something refreshing about working together and not against your partner. Something about not having to worry about being right is a freeing experience in itself. When you work as a team, it's always about the greater good for the team so we move as one. We listen to each other's opinions knowing that we share a common goal. We are not trying to outdo each other or control each other by playing games or manipulating the other. We’re just out here loving and living to the best of our ability, working together to enjoy life together and share that love of life and each other with the world. None of that would be possible if either of us were running around trying to have one up on the other. Now, while I'm not playing spades or any other games against the Mrs., I'm definitely all in to do life with this woman. With her by my side, the world is looking mighty good and I'm blessed that we would rather stand together than against one another.

#IVE BEEN NEX

So many of us strive to be the POWER COUPLE and that’s great, but please remember to be a couple with power. Have the power to take off the armor you wear in the world, so that you get to make home a safe place. Releasing the need to compete allows you and your partner to create your plans for taking over the world. Your partnership processing makes for better couple goals than being competitors against one another. Providing a safe space for your partner to not always BE the winner will allow you to find the love that lives in you.

TINA MARIE JONES TMARIEJONES04

CAMERON COMMUNITY CLOTHING BOUTIQUE : THE URBAN OUTREACH COMMUNITY CENTER I had the opportunity to interview two staff members of the Cameron Community Urban Outreach Community Center. For those of you who do not know, Cameron Community is a community center located in the Lyell-Otis neighborhood, at 48 Cameron St, in the city of Rochester, NY. Allow me to introduce Amy Passalugo (she/her/hers). Amy is the Clothing Boutique Manager and a Rochester native, born and raised. She graduated from St. Bonaventure University with a degree in Journalism/Mass Communications. Amy started with Cameron Communities as a volunteer in 2022, a year later she was hired as the manager. Now meet Jonathan Hardin (he/him/his), is the Director of Community Engagement. Jonathan and his husband moved to Rochester from Mississippi in 2011. Amy says that she believes it is our duty to help others in whatever way we can. “It should not matter where you’re from, how you got there, what your current circumstances are, etc. If someone needs help, we’re obligated as human beings to support one another.” Jonathan chimed in, “It is our duty to help those in need and a privilege to do so. We believe in meeting people where they are and without judgement.” Now, let’s talk about Cameron Community Outreach Center. Jonathan does a great job of summing it up. He says, “Cameron Community is an urban outreach community organization serving northwest Rochester. We partner with residents and community organizations to meet the basic needs and build a more vibrant and empowered community through education, advocacy, and opportunity.”

LOVELYTMARIE

But let’s break it down! In 1983, The American Baptist Churches of Monroe County and the Genesee Valley Presbytery decided they wanted to start a community service in the Lyell Avenue Area. A church in the Lyell-Otis area was available, as the church had previously closed. In 1984, Jane Baldwin, a student of the Colgate Divinity School, conducted a needs assessment of the Lyell Avenue community and determined many people in the area needed services, but there were not enough programs to meet the needs of the community. In 1985, Cameron Community Ministries were officially incorporated. The staff, with the help of the first executive director, Jane Baldwin, created the Parsonage, Youth Programing, and Hot Lunch Program. The Hot Lunch Program, later called the Kids Café, started working with Foodlink in 1994, and in 1997, the Parsonage became the Clothing Closet. In 2001, the Community Center determined there was a need for a summer program for the area youth. So, they started the plans to create one. By 2009, the NYS Office of Children and Family Services licensed the Community Center! In 2012, the Community Center tore down the abandoned building next to the Center, and created the Christopher’s Place Playground, a place for youth to be safe, play, and have a good time! In 2019, the Cameron Teen Center opened. In 2022, the AT&T Digital Learning Lab opened. And finally, in 2023, the Saturday Academy opened offering STEM and Cultural Arts programming for K-12 grades. Thus, the Community Center has been around for over 40 years meeting the needs of the community!! FYI: Hot Lunch Program: Monday – Friday 12:00 – 1:30 PM Emergency Food Pantry: Available by Appointment The Clothing Boutique: Available by Appointment AT&T Digital Computer Lab: Available by Appointment Community Garden: Seasonal Afterschool Program: Monday – Friday Youth Social Worker: Monday – Saturday Saturday Academy: Saturday 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM Street Outreach: Tuesday 1:00 PM to 3:00 PM; Scheduled community Events Amy speaks very highly of the Clothing Closet. She says, “the Closing Boutique provides clothing, household items, diapers, wipes, and personal hygiene supplies to community members in need. We run solely on donations, and we’re fortunate to have a very generous donor base that keeps our racks full year-round. We pride ourselves on stocking quality clothing only; we believe that just because someone needs our services, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve beautiful clothing. Clients can come once every two months, as we have a steady rotation of clothing coming and going from the Boutique. All are welcome!” So, if you’re looking for clothing that looks and feels like

YOU, now you know where to stop first! Unlike some of the community services in Rochester, Cameron Community Center allows anyone to utilize their services. “If you can get here, we can help you,” says Amy. If you have an eye for fashion and spare time, Cameron Community needs your help! As the Rochester area grows, the needs of the community grow, and so does the need for volunteers! Please contact Amy so she can get you to help those in need! If you have donations, please do the same! The Clothing Boutique needs back-to-school items, toiletries, baby diapers and wipes, coats, scarves, hats, and gloves. Jonathan emphasizes that Cameron Community Center is a SAFE place for the LBGTQ+ community. Not only does the community center have LGBTQ+ staff, volunteers, and students who participate in services, but the staff work diligently to ensure everyone in the community knows that regardless how one identifies, you are welcome at the Cameron Community Center. Jonathan also says that the staff work with Rochester’s Trans population to ensure they have the supplies they need. Cameron Community Center doesn’t have LGBTQ+ centered programs at this time, but the staff are always looking for ways to be safe and inclusive.

THE BOOKBAG INSTALLMENT I.

Adult Fiction by:

Southern Fried O

h, my goodness! My Mimi is throbbing. I wish this girl would just go ahead and put on this harness. Who buys a harness and doesn't try it on just to make sure they know how to use it? When I told her I had my own book bag, I thought she might be excited. You know an independent woman coming with her own party favors. Shit! I realized long ago that I was not letting a strap used on some other bitch be put in my Mimi. Of course, they never understand. She thought I was a freak. And I am! But I think every woman should know what she likes, how she likes it, and come prepared to teach someone the ways to please them. Instead they usually just think that means I only desire sex. Yes, I love fucking. I love having that big, fat strap sliding into my Mimi. I love feeling filled up and my swollen pussy throbbing all over it. I love hearing my own juices smack against the strap and that shivering that rolls through my body just as I’m about to climax. But damn, this girl is about to fuck this all up! I told her about the book bag and I brought it tonight. I told her that she was NOT about to be fucking me with the same strap she been using for years. I don’t care how attached she was to it. I told her to buy her own harness. The rule of what’s good for the goose is good for the gander is what brought us here. I understand she didn’t want to use a harness that I let the last one use on me. That was cool, but why wait until the last minute? Why buy it the day of and a style you’re not accustomed to? Hell, we’ve waited six months for this night! You don’t get this Mimi unless you’ve earned it. Six months felt good. Six months seems long enough that you should have bought a new harness by now. Did this girl just trip herself with the harness? You have got to be fucking kidding me!

Maybe my expectations were too high or her expectations were too low. But here I am tied to the posters of her bed, with a wet, throbbing pussy, and a need to get the full force pushed all the way in. I know she’s got rhythm and form, but does she have the capacity to please? I’m questioning my own damn choices! Hell, we’re on the fourth song of my playlist! If she can bring that thang here, I’ll cum quick. I promise. I’ve been waiting so long, I’m about to cum just thinking about my Mimi sliding around that strap! One of my girlfriends told me that I’m a lesbian because I really want to fuck myself. I mean, she might be right. My Mimi smells good, she tastes good and she stays fresh. Maybe other women don't prepare themselves like I do, but baby, when I'm ready to give you this thang, you moving up. Maybe that’s why she still fumbling. I let her taste heaven. I showed her what this mouth can do. I dove into her pussy like I was giving no mercy. I sucked that gorgeous little knob like I was pulling out her spiritual awakening. It may have shaken her, but the expectation was for the same. Up your game, sug. I’m still in though. I haven’t given up on her yet. No book bag of your own, but hopefully you’ll get that harness on, pull out my ball gag and put it on just tight enough for me to know you mean business. And if you pull out my paddle, shit, I might just cum on the first thwack. Thank you, Universe, I just heard that strap click into the harness! I'm ready for you.

r Fo

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! fo in

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Remember to keep your head up through all of the chaos. Trans family, here are some words to remind you that you ARE VISIBLE:

Everything is going to be alright, don't worry about what's not okay. Keep going and remember to fight for what’s right. The struggle is not the end, just a possibility that’s not ironed out. You’re going to make it through the storm. It’s going to take more nice conversation with yourself to ease some of your doubt.

Tears build more warriors than defeat could ever master. Just remember you're not alone. Endless possibility to recoup even if you go away for a minute to get your thoughts together. Know that everyone struggles with something and mental support is always okay.

There's success for you around the corner, but you will never know it if you stop working on it right now. Keep pushing, stay on the grind and phone a friend when you feel your back is against the wall.

There is nothing wrong with keeping a Trans lifeline stored in your phone. We would rather see a number saved than a life loss. No one wants to call other community members to find out when the funeral is. Make a safety plan with a coach, keep it in the fridge and review all the steps before a burial comes too soon. Help is always available just dial 988 and hit send. Even when you want to quit, keep surviving to make it one more day.

Believe that there is a possibility of success. Things may feel tough, keep going and keep pushing, don't stop even when you feel like you’ve born more than enough sorrows. Find another way to ease the pain. Never give up on the goal, keep going, remember there are more options for you to define your success. Keep moving towards the prize because there is always another technique you haven't tried.

Life can be heavy, things can feel dreadful at moments, sometimes limited, undeniably difficult for a second, but applied continuous pressure can break down more weight off the heaviest shoulders. Nothing is too far out of reach for the right support team. No one is going to judge you, if medication management is part of the equation. A healthy life can be your life if you work on it mentally, physically, emotionally and/or spiritually on the daily. Decide today for yourself that everything is going to be alright!

Sincerely, Thriving Transmen of Color

FLORIDA

FROM ONE HEART TO ANOTHER:

NORTH CAROLINA

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PRESTIGE BY:

- Pastor Roni

PHOTO

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PORTRAITS

secure.

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