BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE November 2023 by Blaque/OUT Magazine

NOV 2023 ISSUE#038

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RECOGNIZING TRANS DAY OF REMEMBRANCE 2023

Ede Gardn’s en

PREVIEWING THE

BLAQUEOUT MAGAZINE VIRTUAL TOWN HALL

eden’s garden A BLAQUEOUT MAGAZINE EXCLUSIVE

THE MALACHI “SEVEN” KING SERIES

TAMARA S. LEIGH, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

CONTENTS BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE IS A MONTHLY DIGITAL PUBLICATION CENTERED FIRMLY IN BLACK & BROWN QUEER QULTURE. BLAQUE/OUT FEATURES WRITERS, ARTISTS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, CREATIVES AND INFLUENCERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. WE ARE WORDS. WE ARE ART. WE ARE FASHION. WE ARE CULTURE. WE ARE MUSIC. WE ARE PROTEST. WE ARE WHERE BLAQUE QUEER CULTURE LIVES. FIND US ON FACEBOOK, IG, TIKTOK. TO SUBSCRIBE TO BLAQUE MAGAZINE, VISIT: HTTPS://ISSUU.COM/STORE/PUBLISHERS/BLAQUEOUTMAG/ SUBSCRIBE

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EDEN’S GARDEN: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

QUEER REVOLUTIONARIES JAVANNAH DAVIS

THE OLD MAN'S CORNER E.L. WINSTON

HE GOT THE KEYS: NATHANIEL JOHNSON

KIYANI SAVAGE: A TRANS MAN SPEAKS

COVER ART: TAMARA LEIGH

UNITY THROUGH DIVERSITY REVIEW MEL HOWARD 02

MEET THE BLAQUE 10 OUT NATIONAL VIRTUAL TDOR TOWN HALL PANELISTS COPY EDITOR: RONI WINSTON ADVERTISING ACCOUNT MANAGER: DOREEN SCANLAN

NOV 2023 | ISSUE# 038

I’ve been a part of planning Trans Day of Remembrance

who considered It your fault, justified or just plain unimportant.

events for almost a decade. I keep track of the pictures and

As a cis-gender woman I will never understand this weird hate disguised as fear,

names each year. I post them and write about them so often

religiosity or morality that would make us feel like somehow our life or comfort or opinion

that I feel like I’m seeing old friends when I come across the

matters more than someone elses or how we somehow believe we have the right to decide

pictures. I remember the friends I’ve made and lost over the

who someone loves or has sex with, dresses as or what they have between their legs. Or even why

years. To overdoses, poverty, violence, bad medical care, and

we’d want to. I don’t know how we end Transmisia but until we do, we keep fighting,

suicides. I can still feel the hugs of the families I’ve worked with

keep saying their names, keep those memories alive and keep reminding people that they are

who were counted amongst the mourning at TDOR each year. I

loved. After you attend your local TDOR events, join us

think about Mel and Jennifer and Nino daily. I fight to not picture

for the 1st National TDOR Virtual Town Hall as we search for solutions together.

myself as one of the crowd of grieving because I know the probability of one day It being one of the people I love most In the world being taken out Is so real. And although It Is always Incredibly scary to be a Black woman In this country, no matter what state you live In... I can’t Imagine living with the reality each day that someone who doesn’t even know you- not your heart, not your struggles, not your name- could be hiding around any corner waiting to take you out. And that If It did happen, there would be people

a word. Editor-In-Chief

TamaraSanaa SanaaLeigh Leigh Tamara Editor-In-Chief

BlaqueOUT columnists & contributors Javannah J. Davis (she/her) resides in Rochester, NY where she has worked in healthcare for 19 years, is a self-published author, Founder/President of W.A.V.E Women Inc & CEO/Owner of Linjé Enterprises LLC. Javannah is passionate about healing, self-love, self actualization & helping others to live the best of their lives in a healthy way.

E.L. Winston of Fayetteville, NC (He,Him, His) Trans Community Advocate, CoFounder of Lambda Gamma Omega Nu Fraternity. Just your everyday introspective old man and 1 half of Team Winston

Roni Winston aka The Mrs. aka Pastor Roni (She/Her/Hers) Fayettevlle, NC. Minister, educator, entrepreneur, couples' coach, writer, mom, and grandma. Half . of Team Winston.

Immani Love, (she/her) A Lesbian Erotic Poet, Author, Ordained Minister, Freelance Writer, Real Estate Agent, and overall witty, seductress with the voice of a Siren. An educated Vixen in sunny St. Pete, Florida.

Lade Breez (He/Her/Them) is an award winning 3x published author, publisher, philanthropist, humanitarian, motivational speaker, life coach, event host, youth tutor, artist developer & spoken word artist. Owner & founder of Express Me Poetry Business Services & Events, & Educated Blessyns LLC, improving this world one stage at a time. ExpressMePoetry.com

Mel Howard (he/him) Resides in Newport News, Virginia where he worked in finance industry for over 5years, is a columnists for BlaqueOUT Magazine and Founder/President of THRIVING TRANSMEN OF COLOR. Mel is passionate about community, self acceptance and forgiveness.

Tina Marie Jones (she/her/hers) Founder of Uncover, LLC, mother of 4, activist, motivator, and columnist.

Courtney L (she/her) designer, developer, business owner, who loves to travel. When she is not doing that she loves to write poetry, a bit of a nerd, spend time with family and friends and help people learn technology. She lives in Los Angeles, with her dog.

Angelique Davis (she/her), Pastry chef turned teacher. I who enjoys empowering the youth of inner city communities.

Ashanti S. Taylor-Alexander (she/her) is a life educated poet who believes in riding each wave of this world to the fullest. She is passionate about writing poems people can truly feel. Have a subject throw it at her and she'll make a master piece!

Rec ognizes

Tran sD ay

of R emem branc e

2023

Tamara Leigh

HE GOT THE KEYS

DESIGNER, NATHANIEL JOHNSON HONORED WITH KEY TO THE CITY This week was a reminder that not all heroes wear capes, some of them create them.

Rochester,Ny

Nathaniel’s upcoming birthday with an incredible gold key shaped cake. There was shock, laughter, tears and dancing but mostly there was just a good old time to celebrate one of the greatest who has

It was my honor this week to fly home to Rochester, New York, to celebrate the ever done it. community, entrepreneurial and fashion Who Is Nathaniel Johnson? contributions of a man I’ve known since I was Nathaniel Johnson has been a proud nine or ten years old. Although Rochester isn’t Rochesterian since moving from Baltimore, necessarily known for its fashion, it is certainly Maryland, as a child in the early 70s. After known for Nate and Nate is known for fashion. I graduating, he began working various jobs but was able to gather a room full of some of his always enjoyed the creativity of design. His first favorite people, family and friends, to bear attempts at designing clothing had him making witness to Mayor Malik Evans presenting him pieces for himself. His work was so impressive with the key to Rochester. I’ve never known that he began getting design requests from anyone to receive that distinction and whoever they were, they were few. With the help of a very friends and family. He was eventually asked to make a gown for a young lady competing in the small group of his nearest and dearest, the Miss New York pageant and his talent and assistance of local music and talent cultivator, popularity grew from there. Nathaniel worked for Tony “Grandtone” Simmons and his lovely wife staples in the Rochester garment arena like the Star to surprise Nathaniel. His daughter Rainy B. Forman Company at Midtown (the nation’s and I were able to come into town to celebrate first mall) and was eventually asked to create his this majestic event at the Simmons’ weekly R&B own line for the retailer. Johnson went on to Wednesdays at Urban Euphoria. There was open Nathaniel’s Originals and became the City phenomenal live music, (Rochester is bubbling of Rochester’s premier voice in fashion. In his over with talent. Tweet, Taye Diggs and 30+ years in fashion design, Nathaniel, fondly Seymour Hoffman are all from Rochester and referred to as “Nate”, has designed for the best ew-to-you sensation, Daniele Ponder all got their of the best in Rochester and beyond. Possibly start in Rochester while national acts like Missy, Jodeci, and Timbaland recorded there for years), most impressively, he has designed for generations, often creating the prom dress, great food and a mini fashion show of some of graduation outfit, wedding party and baby Nate’s designs. We were able to even celebrate shower outfit within families.

Johnson has always had an eye for the couture and fashion forward carefully designing each piece by hand. His looks have graced the runway countless times from Rochester to Tampa and Atlanta. He has also been dedicated to mentoring future designers and up and coming models along the way. Despite all his success and accomplishments, anyone who knows him knows he is proudest of his daughter and grandchildren. He loves being Nate-Nate. Nathaniel Johnson has killed the runway at Rochester Fashion Week and brought Rochester iconic shows like AMBUSH, Fashion in the Park, The Fashion Experience: Designer Challenge, Through the Lens, and For the Love of Fashion just to name a few. Nathaniel Johnson IS Rochester fashion. October 25th ended with the Rochester city skyline lights being turned blue in his honor. Nate, the city is YOURS. And now you got the keys, keys, keys, keys!

MAGAZINE

TRANSCENDING HATE: NATIONAL VIRTUAL TOWN HALL

OUR PANELISTS: NOV 20TH

6PM EST

CORTEZ HOLMES, TEXAS

YEMAYA DE LA CRUZ, NY

JEVON MARTIN, TEXAS

RONNIE ANGELIQUE GODWIN, FLORIDA

TEE DOUGLAS, UPSTATE NY

MEL HOWARD, VIRGINIA

BRITTAN HARDGERS, NY

E.L. WINSTON, NC

TORI COOPER, GEORGIA

MX DAHLIA BELLE, OREGON

OCEAN RIVERA, NYC

ARI MOORE, UPSTATE NY

St. Pete Pride & Capital Consulting Group In Partnership with. ....

MAGAZINE

TRANSCENDING HATE: NATIONAL VIRTUAL TOWN HALL

ON TRANS DAY OF REMEMBRANCE BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE SITS DOWN WITH COMMUNITY MEMBERS FROM ACROSS THE NATION FOR A 2-PANEL VIRTUAL EVENT DISCUSSING LIFE AS A COMMUNITY UNDER ATTACK. We honor the memories of our Trans/NB/GNC family & seek to uplift the voices of both our Incredible writers as well as Community Leaders from across the nation who deserve the ear of the world In this crucial moment In history.

OUR PANELISTS:

NOV 20TH

6PM EST

TO REGISTER FOR THIS FREE COMMUNITY CONVERSATION, VISIT...

https://TDORTownHall.eventbrite.com FOR MORE INFO, CONTACT:

tamaraleigh@blaqueoutmag.com

W W W . B L A Q U E O U T . C O M

BLAQUE OUT MAGAZINE

In the News Imagine going into your local store, which you frequent,

TINA MARIE JONES

to purchase items to start your weekend. After going through the aisles looking for what you need, you head to the front to check out. A brief exchange with the cashier and you are assaulted. The cashier grabs you, pulls you out of the store by your hair, and kicks you in the head while screaming the word “Transvestite”. How would you feel? Can you imagine this happening to someone? It did! Jasmine Adams, a 35-year-old Bi-Sexual, cisgender woman lived this exact event in Staten Island, New York. On July 28th, 2023, she went to the store to purchase marijuana for a friend. Marijuana is legal in the state of NY. Ms. Adams says that she called her friend to inquire if the item was correct. The marijuana cost was $40 and Adams asked the friend to confirm this was what they wanted. Adams says the cashier then became upset, as if she was insulting the cashier or negotiating the price of the marijuana. Adams was not a smoker and was unsure if she was purchasing the correct item; she tried to explain this to the cashier while she paid the $40. The cashier ‘sucked his teeth’ and threw the packet of marijuana on the ground. Jasmine rightfully refused to pick up the item. The cashier started yelling at Jasmine, accusing her of trying to get him fired and threatening to call the police. Ms. Adams asked for her money back, instead, the cashier’s anger increased and he maced her. Adams tumbled to the ground, the cashier quickly grabbed Jasmine's hair and dragged her out of the store. After pulling her out of the store, he indignantly kicked Jasmine in her head, screaming the word, “Transvestite”. People passing by screamed in disbelief, unfortunately, the cashier was not arrested. After multiple attempts, the police finally were able to speak to the owners of the deli. The police inquired about the cashier; the owners informed the police that the cashier was fired. They also would not provide the name or whereabouts of the cashier. As a result, Ms. Jasmine with the help of her attorney, Mr. Robert Brown, filed a lawsuit against the deli owners on October 5, 2023. The lawsuit alleges negligence, assault, battery, and discrimination. Despite the lawsuit, the assailant remains at large as the owners keep the cashier's name and address a secret.

PHOTOC NY DAILY NEWS

Jasmine Adams

ABC7 NY

O’Shae Sibley

In late July 2023, Mr. O’Shae Sibley stopped at a gas station with friends in New York City. One of his favorite Beyonce songs came on, he instantly started dancing and voguing. O’Shae, a well-known Black Gay choreographer and dancer, was known to dance at the drop of a hat. Dancing was how he best expressed himself. While dancing, a group of men approached O’Shae and his friends, yelling anti-gay slurs, anti-Black slurs, and demanded that O’Shae stop dancing. O’Shae and his friend refused to stop dancing and turned the music up. One of the men fatally stabbed O’Shae in the rib cage. “They murdered him because he’s gay and because he stood up for his friends,” Otis Pena recalls. Later, it was publicized that the stabber was a 17-year-old high school student. The 17-year-old was later charged with second-degree murder as a hate crime and criminal possession of a weapon. The plaintiff’s attorney spoke to the press in his client’s defense, stating he is not a racist as he is a good Christian boy who attended church for many years. The attorney details how his client has many Black friends and a Black sister-in-law. The attorney says that his client acted in self-defense and just ‘happened’ to have a knife on him. The case was due to return to court this month but was postponed with no published date to return. Our hearts and prayers go out to the family of O’Shae Sibley. O’Shae will forever be in our thoughts and will be missed.

misstmariejones1@gmail.com

LovelyTmarie

GETTY IMAGES

NEW YORK

LIVING IN THE LIGHT

JAVANNAH J. DAVIS

Transmisia & Women of Color Whether we are discussing employment, education, or housing discrimination from police brutality to health care disparities, Transgender women of color are suffering at extremely high rates due to an ever growing crisis of Transmisia. What's the difference between that and Transphobia? Let’s take a look… -Transphobia means “to be fearful of Transgender people.” -Transmisia means hatred and prejudice that is at the root of beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and systems that hurt or deny the existence of Trans and Nonbinary people.

“White men attack us in legislature, while Black men attack us in the streets!”

The ones that are out to get us aren’t afraid of us, they are outright hateful towards us as Trans and Gender Non-Conforming people. It comes with an emphatic disdain towards Transgender women of color. Most Black Transgender women who are lucky enough to become part of mainstream society almost always report being harassed at work or at school. The gross inequities and violence, both direct and indirect, faced by Black and Brown Transgender women is a growing epidemic. An epidemic that has trickled its way to affecting the lives of Cis-gendered women of color as well. For those women who are just ASSUMED to be Transgender due to someone’s bias or their delusional thought as to what a Transgender individual “looks like”, their lives can be placed in danger as well. Let’s take a look at the story of a Cis-gendered woman, Jasmine Adams of Staten Island who was beaten and dragged from a store by a store owner who assumed she was a Transsexual just because she was wearing a rainbow flag on her jacket. Now, by the report, NOTHING else from this woman said ANYTHING about her being Trans except this man's idiotic perspective of what that rainbow flag on her jacket meant and his ignorance towards a people he clearly knows nothing about. “Black women, we are in danger!” When we say, “Protect Black Women” that needs to include the protection of ALL women of color! www.wavewomeninc.com

wavewomeninc

Jjasmeend20

Transmisia & Women of Color You don’t even have to be Transgender/Transexual/Gender Non-Conforming for this wave of hate to wash up on your doorstep anymore. All it takes is for someone to ASSUME you are one of us to attempt to take your life. This is a CALL TO ACTION for them to STOP KILLING US, and to STOP TRANSMISIA NOW! There are over 580 bills that have been introduced, and some passed, in our country alone that are targeting the lives of Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming individuals. This isn’t a “they” problem, this is an “us” problem! We need to stand up, fight back and show the fuck out when it comes to voting against the destruction of our lives and the lives of our future generations. This is the only way we can truly change the world's perspective and protect the value of our lives. This is how we create a world where Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming people of color can live, work, love and seek medical attention without fear of discrimination, harassment or violence.

If you haven’t already, REGISTER TO VOTE TODAY!! https://www.usa.gov/register-to-vote

www.wavewomeninc.com

wavewomeninc

Jjasmeend20

UNITY THROUGH DIVERSITY REVIEW

Navigating

ioov.org/utd Facebook: @in our voices Linkedin: @in our voices

the

world

member

the

BIPOC+LGBTQIA community can be a difficult task, to say the least, but to hold a health conference and display the power of unity while doing it is impressive. Just such a concept came to fruition October 26-29,

In Our Own Voices Inc. Power of Unity Conference 2023

2023, at the Hilton Albany. With over 260 Black, Brown, Queer, and Allies in the same space from all over the world is exactly what In Our Own Voices did in Albany, New York. The theme of the conference was collectively displayed to liberate and empower members of the community. Seldom are conferences structured by the population they are intended to serve but Chief Executive Officer Tandra R. LaGrone and team eloquently transformed the metrics. From the equity presented by the keynote speaker ALOK at the opening of the conference to the food served throughout the conference to the cultural incorporation of the Kiki Ball, pageant, networking, and tabling opportunities. There was no need to shrink in the room; there was no need to feel shame; it was a welcoming environment of knowledge and comfort. A conference centered on advocacy, public policy, education, capacity building, wellness and treatment led by Black, Brown, and Queer folks was exhilarating. It also included healing workshops presented by icons like Lacette Cross, ME Hart, Luz Marquez Benbow, Hettie Barnhill, and the emerging Symba Luna. Additionally, the conference was able to unite spirituality, end stigma, amplify the voices of Queer people of color, and make restorative changes that were fully inclusive and exemplified through a number of different entities. This conference was for us, by us, and geared toward us. I am so grateful that I was able to be a part of this much needed experience and hope In Our Own Voices continues to grow and flourish!

“Movement is reactive, movement

M E L

is apart of our daily lives..move for change, move for healing. Allow movement to stop time”

H O W A R D

-Hettie Barnhill

E G WELCOME 2 THE JUNGLE

Our community has talent and a spotlight is well deserved. Seven has done just that with the creation of Eden’s Garden. It is a series that tells the ins, outs, twists, and turns of a group of Transmen who are living, loving, hustling, dreaming.

As a Transman of color, I feel it important that we are seen and heard in every space and place possible. When I was interviewing Desmond The Creator earlier this year, he was telling me about this groundbreaking Trans led series that he was part of. So I jumped in and started doing my research. I needed to know everything there was to know about Eden’s Garden. Whew! When I tell you, dear readers, that the journey to completion has been something all the way live! First, I viewed material on YouTube, then I reached out to the creator, and from there it took off. Trying to get schedules together, gathering contact information, and communicating with all the moving parts has been a journey, but one well worth it. I feel so much pride in seeing us represented on screen in all of our humanness for the world to see and I can’t help but be thankful that I have gotten to support someone from my community in the process.

I would like to personally thank Seven Malachi King and crew for trusting me with your stories. I consider it an honor to be able to take your experiences beyond the screen. To our readers, if you haven’t gotten your tickets to the premiere later this month in New York, I suggest you do so as soon as possible. No fear though if you can’t attend this momentous occasion, the Mrs. and I will be in attendance on your behalf. I hope that all enjoy the interviews of the creator and cast members on the pages to follow as much as I enjoyed doing them. Without further adieu, Welcome 2 The Jungle of Eden’s Garden!!!

EL WINSTON

M A N O F V I S I O N

M A L A C H I “ S E V E N ” K I N G

1. What is your goal for creating Eden’s Garden? My personal goal for creating Eden’s Garden was to challenge myself creatively with subject matters that are vulnerable, especially being able to relate to the subject matter so intimately. In the process of creating the show, I went through a range of emotions, mistakes, and lessons learned before it became the final product in 2023. The thing that held me together was my determination. I was determined to win; I was determined for the world to see the vision how it was always intended. I used the pushback, lack of support, haters, and the village of love surrounding me and my ancestors protecting me to fuel the destiny of this project. My goal for Eden’s Garden is for people to experience everyday people of Trans-experience and see the synchronicity in our paths, as part of the human race. I was also inspired to have a professional production credit under my belt getting into the industry of creative arts. My father is a hip-hop legend, but I happened to fall in love with film, so this is my way of making my legendary mark which feeds another goal of mine. 2. How were you able to accomplish these goals you set? Why were they so important? By being just crazy enough to believe in my big dream! I say crazy because I went through every emotion with this project from happiness to loss to disappointment, etc. I had to believe in my community. Although sometimes the people I gave opportunities to didn’t take it as seriously as I wanted. I had to re-do this series more than five times - before getting to "The Jungle Has No Face" segment. I wasn’t going to quit though until I felt satisfied enough to walk away if I chose to. In 2023, I accomplished that. It’s important to tell stories and specifically, our own stories. I wanted to be brave enough to stand tall, unapologetically giving visibility to Transitioned men. I accomplished that with the brave soldiers who walk the front line as the lead actors. 3. Are any of your characters based on people you know/knew? Initially, the characters were inspired by those just living in these shoes and going through the ups and downs in them. I also observed a lot of guys who came from various backgrounds, lifestyles, and temperaments. I had never seen this type of creative outlet back then and I was inspired by doing something different. Sometimes, I included real-life people's situations doing advocacy work around the topic of men like us, but most of the script is made up characters with a trace of reality.

4. How would you summarize the story of Eden’s Garden? What inspired the title? The story of Eden’s Garden is a maze. It’s a story-line that can take different directions, especially with everyone’s transition being so different. It’s about the beginning to everyone defining their own story and creating their own path. The Garden of Eden, is metaphorical for the origin of humanity from the storyteller. The twist of Eden’s Garden is a garden of different humans with some who happened to be humans who decided to transition to their preferred gender. I’m heavy into symbolism and just connected those dots, to create a catchy title for the series. 5. Do you have a favorite character from the work? Who is it and why? My favorite character would have to be Eden. Eden inspired the narration of this story from Season 1. Although he disappeared, the title Eden’s Garden transformed into the realm of a brotherhood within the Garden of Life. The character of Eden is a reflection of multiple characters and sparked the whole evolution of the brand. I was motivated to act in this role in the beginning, but I’m not really into acting. I’m a hard-core director and love what I do. 6. Did you choose actors who aligned with their characters based on their aesthetics, personalities, or what? When it came to the actors, the main criteria was earning your position through a selective audition process. I learned from the past that just giving opportunity without it being earned led to entitlement and egotistical expectations without putting in the work required. Since then, every person had to audition for a spot on the show and I selected the actors based on initially meeting them and matching them with the best fit for the lead characters. It was interesting how each or most of the actors said they related to their character. A good actor takes the character and makes it their own. Each person has a different personality and it made the production flow with all the different energies. The chemistry with the lead cast made this worthwhile and was probably the best version of brotherhood, off the screen, that I've ever witnessed. Shout out to the cast!

7. How did you know you could take on a project of this magnitude?

10. Other than viewing your content, how can the community support Eden’s Garden and Seven Kings Studios?

It was dedication. I knew I could take it on when I embraced who I am within and what my spirit endured before even realizing my passion would be in filmmaking. I had to do it for me because EG is my baby. I assumed my local community

The community can help support through sharing via social media, by networking and connecting the project to potential screeners at colleges, pride events, etc.

would be supportive, but I got a lot of flack from the same ones I extended the opportunity to. It taught me that this journey was meant for me to walk, even if I did it alone. The ones who were meant to ride were there! I had to accept the magnitude of success that came with it as well, even if the status of who I was, was outed. I knew who I was and that translated into my creative ability. Confidence,

Donations and support out loud in any way that spreads our project to the masses. Liking our pages on social media @edensgardentv for everything is helpful. Supporting us through the purchase of our merch through the exclusive shop https://SKSMERCH.myspreadshop.com/ and just including the project in inclusive events that can help the world and

drive, and audacity with determination - by any means necessary.

more communities see this visual. I thank all of my supporters and everyone who has been rooting for this show, even in small ways. Forever grateful and thank you to those who cared, believed, and wanted to see this project succeed.

8. What was the biggest obstacle bringing this project to life? Balancing life itself was my biggest obstacle. I don’t have the words to describe the weight of this project. I worked hard to maintain relationships that may or may not have made it. This project exposed people who weren’t meant to be in my life and people I assumed supported me, but never did. This project was a weight that brought all kinds of realizations for me that were heavy to carry. My spirit is truly a fighter because I even had to fight myself to continue. I was uncomfortable at times with being overly exposed (in the media) even though I was fighting for liberation on this topic. My family, some of them, only supported me in silence, but when it was time to show up didn’t want to stand side by side with me. I literally had to work overtime to find sponsors. Sometimes I would get a good one, but the money wouldn’t last to finish the rest of the goal. I started this last installment with a team of three people. If one of them disappeared, it led me to another, including the actors who assisted on set. Playing double and triple roles is not always fun, but it can be the reality of indie filmmaking. On top of all that, I also lived out of state! So, planning everything just to shoot while in the city was a huge undertaking. A final obstacle was overcoming the lack of support and just continuing no matter what. It was done and it’s possible. 9. With everything that is going on right now in our country, this project is definitely needed. How important is it that art brings life to issues that we as a community are facing? This project is about self-acceptance and that’s revolutionary in a world where on every corner someone is dictating or directing you how to live. It’s important to tell YOUR story. It may connect to someone else and be able to assist them on their journey when you simply tell your truth. I can’t say that telling this story came with the out loud support, but I do know admiration and appreciation have always been given to me behind closed doors, regardless. I look forward to having this on a major screen! Telling our own stories is an act of resistance, despite Transmisia legislation trying to challenge what is considered the norm for able-bodied adults, humans who should have free will over their own souls.

11. Who is your favorite filmmaker? Why? Ava Duvernay, Barry Jenkins, Jordan Peele & Spike Lee are my favorite filmmakers. I just love their works. 12. I know you recently acquired a flat in Nigeria. Do you have roots there? Why was it so important for you to have a space there? I’m a culturalist. I have a spirit from another country, even though I was born here. I’m proud to be African. Planting seeds in another country with inheritance is changing generational dynamics. 13. Where can our readers watch Eden's Garden or connect with you? Eden’s Garden is only available by booking request at the moment, which you can do at: sevenkingstudios@gmail.com. EG may hit a major platform in the future or other options like Amazon Prime, etc. Follow any updates on our Twitter and Instagram @edensgardentv. I can be reached through email at sevenkingstudios@gmail.com as well as on social media at @papisevenking, or Instagram and FB @ Seven King. 14. What else do you want our readers to know about you? I gave this show my all and I hope you watch with an open mind to learn about the way others walk in the world. We are all one HUMAN RACE.

B A R R I E B R O O K S

1. Tell us about your character. My character's name is Rico. Rico is an individual who wants to change the dynamic of the experience with transitioning. He’s reserved but loving, and wants the best for those around him. 2. What inspired your performance? What brought the soul to your character? I was inspired by my Mother for this role. This was something she really pushed me to do and loved that I took the initiative to do something different. She’s my biggest supporter. 3. You mentioned that your mom is your biggest supporter, but what about her motivates you? I thought about how I would see her taking on different tasks in her life and how she aced them. I told myself, “Barrie, you can do the same. Stay calm and collected and most of all FOCUSED”. 4. How did you start acting and what's your favorite thing about it? My acting career started from a simple message from Seven King, asking if I wanted to be a part of the project Eden’s Garden. I had followed the series from the beginning back when they were being posted on YouTube and I felt I couldn't pass on this opportunity. My favorite thing so far has been having to completely be someone else. Diving into the role from the script and portraying the character the way they were written to be. 5. This journey began with a message from Seven, but what pulled you in and made you want to actively be a part of the project? I wanted to be involved in this project mainly because I myself have kept a lot of my personal process to myself. I never really voiced what it felt like to be on this journey. This is my way of showcasing how it feels and what it looks like in an artistic and creative way. 6. How is this character like you? Different? We are very similar. There really aren’t many differences at all. 7. What was the biggest challenge about taking on this role? The biggest challenge for me personally was being a little bit less like myself and digging more into the role of Rico. It was more about that reserved person.

“ R I C O ”

8. Was there anything difficult for you in stepping slightly outside of your comfort zone? To be honest, nothing was too challenging for me. After reading the script numerous times, I was more than ready to take on this role. I wanted to bring Rico (my character) and Barrie (myself) together the best way I could and give it my all. So personally, it wasn't challenging. 9. Why do you think this show is so necessary? I feel that people are going to finally get a chance to see the world that we live in being “men of experience”. A lot of people do not fully understand the daily struggles we may go through on our journey. This will open a lot of eyes and hopefully hearts. 10. I know there is some powerful dialogue in the script. What is your favorite line? “You’re all I have in this world, that means something” 11. What types of characters would you like to play in the future? I would like to play a number of types of characters! I watch all different genres of films so I would like to play anything that comes my way in the future. 12. Do you believe art imitates life or vice versa? And why? Yes. I believe this because art is a way of being creative based upon real scenarios or similar kinds of journeys that we may face. Art is a way to bring those hidden feelings that we may not be vocal about or show to life. 13. What advice would you give to new or aspiring actors/actresses? To know that you are 1000% invested in the journey. It takes a lot more than just reading a script and trying to memorize lines. You have to become the character, you have to practice, you have to be all in! So know that this is a passion for you and take that passion and turn into LOVE because it will show on the screen. 14. It’s always nice to shout out our roots, so where are you from? I am originally from Utica, N.Y. aka Upstate N.Y. 15. Where can our readers keep up and interact with you? My Instagram is @officialbarrieb and my Facebook is Barrie Brooks.

R E L L L O W E R Y

1. Why did you want to be involved in this project? I chose to be involved in this project because I wanted to inspire other men like myself to stand up and be their authentic selves. As a Black Transmen, we are often looked over, but it’s important that we all be proud of who we are, no matter what society says. 2. Rell Lowery, tell us your story. How did your interest in acting begin and what do you enjoy most about it? This is my beginning. I have always followed the series Eden’s Garden from the beginning. I happened to see a post on Facebook last year when the producer was looking for extras and I reached out. I flew out to New York to meet the cast and production team and after doing a few table readings for my role as an extra, I was offered a lead role. My favorite thing about it is being able to transform into someone else and being in character. 3. Do you have any funny or interesting stories from auditions? For me, one of the most interesting things was my first time in New York during filming. We were leaving the rehearsal studio and there was a cannabis truck sitting right outside taking orders. I’m from North Carolina and it’s illegal there so that was a big surprise to see. We barely have CBD locations LOL! 4. You mentioned being from NC. I live there as well. Where are you from? I’m from Charlotte aka The Queen City. 5. Who is your character and what do we need to know about him? My character, Pernell, was born & raised in New York. He’s a guy who loves his community, his family, and his friends. He’s not afraid to stand up & speak out to protect his circle and he’s especially protective over his Trans siblings. Pernell is the serious one of the group but also knows how to have a good time when it’s time to do so. 6. How is this character like you? Different? My character is like me because I was able to relate to his closeness with his family and friends because I’m the same way in real life. I particularly liked the relationship he has with his mother because I am extremely close to mine as well. He’s different in the fact that he can be quick tempered, which I am not. It takes a lot for me to get mad or angry. I’m an introvert and a Cancer (lol). This meant I definitely had to step out of my quiet shell for this character. He is far from shy or quiet!

“ P E R N E L L ”

7. What inspired/motivated you for your role? My inspiration was to be able to show other guys like myself that it’s ok to have moments of self-doubt. The key is not to stay in that place, be patient with yourself, and to not compare your journey to anyone else’s. 8. What’s the biggest challenge about taking on a role like this? My biggest challenge in this particular role was projecting my voice and showing I can be confrontational when need be. I’m normally the peacemaker and the calm one out of the group but this role required me to step outside of my comfort zone. 9. What’s going to surprise people about this show? I think people will be surprised to see the different characters and the challenges they face in the film. I think a lot of people think being trans is a choice, and once they see the struggles we face, it will be clear that nobody chooses this life, you are in fact born in it. Without giving anything away, what’s your favorite line of dialogue? The dialogue between me and my brothers (The brother’s circle) 11. How did you mentally and emotionally prepare for working on this project? Honestly, it took a lot of prayer, meditation, and focus to prepare. During filming, I had several personal matters that almost caused me to quit including the loss of my beloved grandmother, Mrs. Betty Lowery, in November 2022. I wanted to give up! However, with the motivation and support from my family and my cast members, I was able to finish the project. I’m truly grateful for them and I know my grandmother is smiling down! This is dedicated to her! 12. What advice would you give to new or aspiring actors/actresses? I would say, “step out on faith and follow your dreams”. Don’t be afraid to try something new, whether it’s acting for the first time, or trying the type of role that you’ve never felt comfortable with. It’s all about growth and new experiences. 13. Is there anything I didn't ask that our readers should know about you and where can they find you? LOL! Yes, I keep getting the question about my relationship status because of my character. The answer is ‘yes’! I’m single. Instagram: rell_lowery & Facebook: Rell Lowery

M A N N Y V E G A

1. Manny Vega, what started your acting career and what do you enjoy most about it? My favorite part about being an actor is the ability to bring characters to life. Transforming myself into a villain, a hero, or a character someone connects to is always a challenge I’m up for. My first time acting was in 2017 when Seven King brought the Eden's Garden Series to Atlanta. He asked if I would be a part of the project and I couldn't turn down the opportunity to give visibility to Black Intersexed individuals. 2. You met Seven in Atlanta, but where are you from originally? I'm from Brooklyn, New York (Bed-stuy). 3. Would you say art imitates life? If so, in what way? Yes, I do believe art imitates life. You can tell a story in the way a photographer takes a photo, a dancer tells a story of life through their movements, painters through their brush stokes, and actors through the different emotions they display on the screen/stage making it understandable and relatable 4. What about this character drew you in? My inspiration for this role was personal. It's like telling my own story. It gives visibility to Black Intersex individuals and the fans that I communicate with on social media. 5. Tell us a bit about your character, Leroy. Do you all have any similarities? My character is like that cool Uncle-Brother who supports everyone's dreams, gives good advice and is the peacemaker mentor. At the same time, he battles depression, anxiety, and loneliness since the passing of his mother as well as dealing with his own disability. We do have some similarities too. We have both encountered a number of struggles and we deal with life’s struggles by helping others. 6. Was there anything challenging about playing this role? If so, how did you prepare yourself? The biggest challenge of taking on this role was that some of the scenes are triggering and the mental place I had to take myself made me relive my trauma. Also, the visibility of just participating in this project created anxiety at times. I had to be sure that I found ways to decompress after tuning into past traumas that evoked sadness and crying. I channeled my post traumatic stress. 7. As the only Intersex character, why do you think visibility is so important? Positive representation and visibility are important because we EXIST.

“ L E R O Y ”

8. Eden’s Garden is not just another show. What do you think will surprise the audience? New characters, new plot twists and the relatability of the show will be a surprise. 9. Leroy is your first acting role. What did you enjoy about it? What type of character would you like to play next? Leroy is my favorite character of the series. It’s my favorite because Leroy's story and journey is personal to me. I would love to play the role of a zombie or a superhero. 10. Share an interesting or funny thing that happened behind the scenes. You know I won’t give anything away, but during our first blocking (when you are acting out movement while running lines), we were all pretty much meeting for the first time in person and it was my group’s turn. The scene was intense and when we were done everyone liked what we had done. They thought I had been doing this for a minute. All of these amazing actors I was working with to say that I did an amazing job and that I should continue acting really put a smile on my face. 11. What advice would you give a new or aspiring actor? Advice I would give to new or aspiring actor/actress is you can do anything you put your mind to and it doesn't matter how many times you get a no. And that they should keep going until you get that yes! You have to invest in yourself and believe in yourself. 12. Anything you want to share that we haven’t talked about. I have been a fan of Eden’s Garden since the beginning back in 2015 and I attended the premiere at the Center. I became part of the show in 2017 to see the ins and outs and the ups and downs. It's like planting a seed for a tree to grow. It takes time, patience, trial-and-error, and investment and now the tree is fully grown bearing many fruits. 13. How can our readers watch your next steps? On Instagram, I’m TrueM.V and TrueM.V Creation and on Facebook, I’m Leroy Vega and Leroy Eden's Garden.

C E S S J O N E S

1. Cess, tell us a little about your character on Eden’s Garden? My character, Gino, is a hustler, but he loves and protects his family. He is more of an introvert. 2. What was your inspiration for playing this role? My personal story connected me because Gino and I are similar in a number of ways. 3. How are you similar? We both love our people and I’m definitely a hustler as well…of legal goods (haha). Also, at times, I really just don’t think of my Trans-ness; I’m just me and so is Gino. 4. What was the biggest challenge for you about playing this role? My biggest challenge was mentally preparing myself mentally to go back to the days of beginning my transition. 5. What about that was so complex? There were some triggering parts to the script. Some of Gino’s losses just hit too close to home. 6. Understanding all of those things about yourself, what made you want to still be involved in this project? I thought it was a great story that needed to be told. It’s not everyday that you see Black Transmen in these spaces and situations, but this is everyday for some of us. 7. So how did you prepare yourself for these challenges? Prayer, meditation, and sage 8. What are some things you think will surprise people about this show? I think some people will be surprised by the dope talent that thrives within the LGBT+ community. We're more than our surgeries, society’s ignorance of human beings, or “political adversaries”. We are soulful beings who deserve to live. PERIOD! 9. Without giving anything away, what’s your favorite line of dialogue? It's not really one line, it's like a paragraph, lol.. But it was a pivotal point in a heated discussion that I was having with my best friend on the show. 10. Now, I know we’ve covered some heavy things, so on to something a little lighter. What’s something funny or interesting that happened during auditions?

“ G I N O ”

Yea, I actually auditioned for another character with a much smaller role and here I ended up being a lead character. 11. What prompted you to get into acting in the first place? I didn’t start formally acting until I was accepted into an improv school in Manhattan, but I have had a knack for it since I was a kid. In high school, I’d reenact skits on the bleachers in high school from Martin. 12. What’s your favorite thing about acting? My favorite thing is just being able to play different roles. 13. Do you believe art imitates life or vice versa? And why? Of course art is life and life is art. I believe life creates stimulating visionary pieces and that sounds like art to me. 14. What’s been your favorite role to play thus far and why? This has been one of my favorites. I enjoyed the ability of just being me and letting it all go. I also enjoyed playing one of The Fruit of Islam In Godfather of Harlem. That role was totally different but I'd love the opportunity for more diverse roles like that. 15. What advice would you give to a young person starting out in their acting career? I would tell them to never give up…NEVER. They also need to be consistent as well as persistent in all that they do. 16. Cess, where are you from, let’s shout out your hometown? I was born in Brooklyn, but I grew up in Long Island. 17. What is something you’d like to leave with our readers that we haven’t touched on? I think that it is so important to remember the things that keep me grounded when I’m spending time during my off seasons and that I try to plant seeds of positivity everywhere I go. 18. How can our readers keep up with you and what you’re doing? In real life, find me on my farm picking herbs and vegetables and social media, I’ll be on IG @cessfarms or cess_a_leo.

Writer: Javannah J. Davis Javannah Jasmeen Jjasmeend20

QUEER REVOLUTIONARIES

The Hudson Valley is rich in its history. One of its most historical moments happened in 1989, when the New York state capital received its first openly gay black person in the country to be elected to public office. That elected official was Keith St. John and he was elected to represent the city of Albany's South End. This was an elected position he held for two terms leading into the 1990s. Keith St. John was the first Black out LGBTQ+ person elected in the U.S. – and likely the world. St. John was raised in Westchester County, went to Yale and Vassar earning a B.A. in Economics. After graduating from Cornell Law Sschool, St. John took a position with the Legal Aid Society of Northeastern New York in fall of 1985. Keith began working in New York’s capital city helping clients of few means with cases involving landlordtenant disputes, Social Security disability, and family court. It was after only three years in the city, he put himself forward as one of three candidates for two slots on the Albany County Democratic Committee. To everyone’s surprise, he outdid one of the other candidates and was elected to the party seat. The following year he was urged to run for the Albany Common Council, then dominated by the county’s Democratic machine. He then moved to Albany’s 2nd Ward in the South End, a neighborhood on the lower end of the socio-economic scale. Though he was vulnerable to charges of being a newcomer, many in the area knew him from his work at Legal Aid and he was an adept campaigner. During the 2015 documentary, Out in Albany, St. John tells the story of when he first told his mother he was gay. It was when he attended law school at Cornell in 1983. He was seeing someone at the time and was at his place often. When St. John's mother was upfront and asked if her son was a homosexual, he took the opportunity to be honest with his mother. St. John said that while he and his mother continued to communicate, their relationship was never quite the same. Still, he said he owes much of his successful career to his mother. His representation of the South End and advocacy of quality of life issues earned him a second term. He even considered running for mayor but instead ran for re-election unopposed in 1993.

NORTH CAROLINA

Whosoever Knows...

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our should be okay trying to make it on we t tha us tell to s like ld wor Whereas the different. for ourselves, God says something own and that we have to just do it en you lay your journey. God is here for you. Wh You are not meant to be alone in lk to take ow, do not allow the negative self-ta in your bed with tears on your pill protection take over and feel like there is no over. It is too easy to let the chaos ck in that to the things that have kept you stu tly tigh so on g din hol p Sto . you for for gs over and over again while looking thin e sam the g doin , nity insa of place another result.

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- Pastor Roni

PRESTIGE BY: PHOTO

brokenness, , the frustration, the anger, and the Beloved, release it today. The pain ortunity t to yourself daily. You have the opp do not belong to you. Stop giving tha the roller t to God. If you stop trying to run trus and trol con ish nqu reli to ay tod easier. will find that this life can be much you , nce erie exp the oy enj and r ste coa t the tranquility God offers. It doesn’ in ive thr can it spir and rt, hea d, Your min have iculties, but the difficulties won’t mean that you won’t face any diff be enveloped in God’s embrace. We to overtake you. Allow yourself to d less of the pain, the hurt, the are the whosoever and today we nee with more of God to fulfill us. loneliness, the depression, the anxiety Take what God is offering.

PORTRAITS

determination.

EXPLOSION: A LOOK AT MY NEPHEW HIS PAIN WAS CREATED BY HIS EXPERIENCES AND SYSTEM THAT TURNED HIS WORLD UPSIDE DOWN. SO MUCH BITTERNESS INSIDE THE YOUNG BOY CRIES OUT FOR STABILITY BUT UNABLE TO BE STABLE. EXPLOSION. HE HAD AN EPISODE. NEXT PLACEMENT HOME. THINGS DON’T WORK OUT. HE’S NO LONGER WITH HIS SIBLINGS. EXPLOSION. SO USED TO BEING BOUNCED AROUND. HE GOES FROM FOSTER HOMES TO HOSPITALIZATION. HE NEEDS SOMEWHERE TO GO. HE MAKES IT INTO MY HOME. I WELCOME HIM IN GUARD DOWN. HE SMILES. HE TRUSTS ME. THE DYNAMIC CHANGES. HE BECOMES SCARED. HE HAS ANOTHER EPISODE AND WE PROCESS IT WHEN HE’S STABLE. TIME GOES ON AND WE BOND. HE IS TRIGGERED. EXPLOSION. ANOTHER ACUTE STAY FOR A TREATMENT PLAN. HE IS CLASSIFIED AS DAMAGED. SHIFTING THROUGH THE CYCLE OF UNCERTAINTY UNABLE TO FULLY EXPRESS THE EMOTIONS. SO CONNECTED TO THE BATTLE TOWARDS MENTAL WELLNESS. I CLOTHE HIM. I FEED HIM. I CHALLENGE HIM TO RESPOND BETTER. HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HOW I CAN RELATE TO HIM. I TELL HIM STORIES ABOUT MY YOUTH. I TELL HIM I WAS FORMALLY CLASSIFIED AS DAMAGED. HE NEEDED SOMEONE TO LOVE HIM. SO I LOVE ALL OF HIM WILLINGLY AND HE BECOMES MY NEPHEW. HE NEEDED SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND HIS PAIN. HIS WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN UNEXPECTEDLY. SO YOUNG AND HURTING. PLACED WITH STRANGER AFTER STRANGER NO LONGER HOME. NOT READY TO MAKE ANY OTHER PLACE TRULY HIS HOME. WITH ME HE FEELS SAFE. NEAR ME HE IS HOME. HE TESTS IF I WILL STOP LOVING HIM. I SHOW HIM EVERY DAY I CHOOSE HIM. UNABLE TO JUDGE HIM BECAUSE I KNOW IT’S BEEN A LONELY ROAD. SO I MOLD HIM. AIM TO INSPIRE HIM. TEACH HIM WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE. HE TESTS MY PATIENCE. I WAIT TO SEE WHAT TIME WILL TELL. I LET HIM KNOW WHAT BEING HUMAN IS. HE SHOWS ME HE CAN SEE THE LIGHT. THOSE EMOTIONS ONCE DESTRUCTIVE AND VULGARITY NOW A PAST HE IS HEALING FROM. THINGS CHANGE IN CUSTODY COURT. I WON’T GO. I’M UNABLE TO FACE WHAT’S IN STORE. I CRY BECAUSE I KNOW HE’S LEAVING. I SMILE BECAUSE HE’S WHERE HE SHOULD BE. HE LIVES BACK WITH HIS DAD. I’M PROUD AND SAD. ANOTHER KID TAKES HIS PLACE.

MEL HOWARD

KENYA

BLAQUEOUT MAGAZINE EXCLUSIVE

SAVE LIFE By Ibrahim Kere Imagine that you see the wretched strangers, Their babies at their backs and their poor luggage, Plodding to the ports and coasts for transportation, And that you sit as kings in your desires… Why, you must needs be strangers…” – The Book of Sir Thomas More. Just over four hundred years ago, Shakespeare wrote an entreaty against racism and xenophobia, and in sympathy for the plight of refugees. His sentiment resonates in the early years of the new millennium: over the last four centuries, what have we learnt about benevolence towards those who share our humanity if not our birthplace? How do we – as a society and as individuals – treat compassionately the strangers in our midst, a sentient trait that may be older and broader than humanity itself? Sadly, our modern world seems to overlook this natural instinct, particularly when it comes to minority groups such as LGBT people. Some flee dangerous countries as refugees and find sanctuary, while many others find difficulties in their destination countries. The World Economic Forum acknowledges this problem: In 72 countries, same-sex relationships are currently criminalized. In eight, they are punishable by death. But in many others, social norms, traditions and customs make life for LGBT people equally impossible, even if the law is not officially against them. This collective human failing to care about strangers – and the world’s indifference to the problem – can be found today, pointedly rooted in a remnant from colonial times. The history of LGBT rights in Africa is tainted by homophobic colonial history. Africa is full of this shameful bigotry akin to the racism endured by their slave forebears, justifying human rights abuse, fueled by ignorant hatred that is spouted by politicians and preachers alike, poisoning families and communities where homosexuality remains illegal and where harassment and persecution are common. Sadly, this discrimination is fueled in part by conservative religious views and actively encouraged by conservative US religious extremists. Today I will share with you my story and the suffering I faced until I reached Kakuma refugee camp : Yesterday morning, I hesitated a lot while writing my story, but I came to a conclusion, which is: “I live between the harsh hammer of life and the anvil of death, so I no longer care much.” My name is Ibrahim and I am a 21-year-old gay man from Sudan. I did not experience this feeling until I was 15 years old in 2017 and I had a partner named Asim. I would like to share my experience and bring awareness to the huge violation of human rights occurring here. In my home country, I have been harassed, tortured, and raped because of my sexual orientation. Even my own family stated they will take me to the police to be punished by Islamic laws. For me, this would mean the death penalty. In October 2017, some people from my partner’s tribe attacked me and burned my left leg using hot metal. They separated me and my partner by taking him to a different school in a different city. But in 2018 we got a chance and met again. But his parents threatened us … with Islamic law. (Sentenced to death). On 10 February [2019], I was arrested by a group from the [redacted] tribe who work with the Sudanese government. I was arrested with my friend and my father. On March 15, 2019, while I was in prison, I was raped by two men in the name of revenge. On 20 March 2019, I was also raped by more than three people. My health became bad because I was raped. My body was swollen. On 26 March, I was released. On 28 March, I fled from my hometown to [city name redacted]. On the same day my father was attacked and killed by [Asim’s] tribe. [Then], I met a friend of my father from South Sudan who helped me escape to [a city] in South Sudan. We [continued and] arrived in Juba, the capital of South Sudan, on 3 April 2019. He took me to the hospital immediately for treatment. After that he advised me to come to the Kakuma camp in Kenya where I was supposed to find freedom and further treatment. My [trek] from Juba to Nairobi ended on 11 April 2019. I made the long journey with a burned leg from being tortured and colon problems due to multiple sexual assaults. The only place I could reach after leaving Sudan was the Kakuma Refugee Camp.

Here, I still live under inhumane conditions due to ingrained homophobia. I have been attacked numerous times simply for being a gay man, and the police do nothing about it. Sometimes they even harass us [gay refugees] with threats as well. I arrived in Kakuma on 13 April 2019, and at that time my health condition was bad because of the gang rapes I was subjected to. I went to the hospital, and I was tested, and the test result was positive for hepatitis B. On 27 July 2019, when my [new] partner and I were returning from the hospital, I was assaulted by a group of Sudanese inside the camp, which caused me paralysis in the northern half of my body, and my partner was stabbed in the stomach, and I did not get any help from the doctor except that he wrote that this is psychological pressure. I can no longer move my left hand and leg caused me paralysis in the northern half of my body, and my partner was stabbed in the stomach. I can no longer move my left hand and leg. On 4 August 2019, I was attacked [again.] I lost one of my teeth. And all that time, I did not get any help from UNHCR, [The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, the agency that administers Kakuma]. We, the LGBT community were given a specific area for housing inside the camp, which made it easy for homophobes to identify us. In 2020, I joined the [Kakuma camp] school after I had to leave school in Sudan because of my sexual orientation. But I was subjected to discrimination by students and teachers because I am gay. It made me drop out of school, but I still hope to go back to school. Because of my poor health and my simple education, I became unemployed, and I cannot do the least home work towards myself, and I live in a bad psychological state. I am thinking of suicide. I am suffering here just as I had suffered in Sudan. I feel I can’t live as a human being simply because of my sexual orientation and refugee status. Every day is a struggle to survive and maintain my hope. My only wish is to bring awareness to the conditions here and to someday live a normal life without the constant. Amnesty International's March report details many horror stories. Kenya is the only country in the Horn of Africa that offers asylum to LGBT people in a region where “criminalization of same-sex sexual practices and relationships, legislation targeting LGBT people, and cultural and religious traditions continue to force LGBT people to flee.” But homosexuality is also considered a crime in Kenya, and political analysts say that the situation in the region is getting worse rather than better. Harsh anti-LGBT legislation (encouraged and incited by conservative Christian churches in the United States) is sweeping Africa, in what Nigerian journalist and analyst Daniel Anthony calls a “terrifying domino effect.” For example, a Kenyan member of parliament recently introduced legislation making it illegal to provide services to LGBT people and requiring the Kenyan government to deny asylum or expel refugees on the basis of their sexuality or sexual orientation. My partner and I have no hope of getting a visa to resettle in Kenya. As for resettlement to a third country, UNHCR staff have so far refused to even accept our requests. No one in the whole world knows who we are or cares about our suffering. Amnesty International confirms that this is normal in Kakuma: “LGBT asylum seekers suffer discrimination... from government officials, police and other service providers. This is often reflected in delays in processing our asylum claims, harassment and violent attacks against LGBT people.” , threats, intimidation, and very limited opportunities for local integration or resettlement to a third country. Amnesty International has been lobbying UNHCR for many years, demanding real reform in Kakuma – real support for LGBT refugees. Reuters has done good work on the ground, often reporting on the desperate situations in which gay refugees find themselves.

In 2021, UNHCR issued this statement in response to complaints, praising itself for how hard it goes to care for LGBT refugees, while blaming many refugees for causing their own problems. But according to Amnesty International and We Like Refugees, conditions for LGBT refugees in Kakuma are now worse than when UNHCR issued this statement. For most LGBTQ refugees in Kakuma, asylum dreams will never come true Hope for resettlement in developed areas is dwindling as countries like the UK and US put up roadblocks preventing LGBT migrants from qualifying for asylum – despite a colonial history that created much of the homophobia that created the need for asylum. For further clarification on this topic, there is an article. Writer Kaylyn Hamilton A recent article explores the barriers to LGBT immigration in the UK. There is also a report by the LGBTQ advocacy group Lambda Legal about how the United States often fails to help LGBTQ refugees and asylum seekers. See USA Today's recent report on how the Biden administration is accepting only 20% of its already restricted quota of refugees annually. Here I know exactly how many hundreds of transgender and LGBT refugees are suffering inside the UNHCR camp in Kakuma. . The United Nations barely did anything to help them. The UK is doing nothing to help them. The United States is doing nothing to help them. Some small countries, such as Canada and Sweden, are trying, but they cannot do the whole job. As the world mobilized to rescue thousands of missing boys in the 1990s, I read article after article about their plight. Donors have sent money several times to agencies helping with resettlement and the world has stood in solidarity with them. I rejoiced when these brutalized child soldiers were helped to have a new life. Will I see the world reaching out to help desperate gay refugees like my partner and I? Fear and hatred towards people from the LGBTQ community is a big part of the answer. Lack of knowledge is another thing. Before you read this my story, did you have any idea how bad things were in Kakuma? If you don't know, you can't help. Can you share this story with your friends? Help them know the situation here. Help them understand. Ask them to lobby their governments and favorite charities to take action to remove LGBTQ refugees suffering from Kakuma. Together we can do it!

Arabic Translation ‫ كتاب السير توماس مور‬- "...‫ ال بد أنكم غرباء‬،‫ لماذا‬...‫رغباتكم‬ . ‫ كتب شكسبير مناشدة ضد العنصرية وكراهية‬،‫منذ ما يزيد قليًال عن أربعمائة عام‬ ‫ ويتردد صدى مشاعره في السنوات األوىل من‬.‫ وتعاطًف ا مع محنة الالجئين‬،‫األجانب‬ ‫ ما الذي تعلمناه عن اإلحسان‬،‫ عىل مدى القرون األربعة الماضية‬:‫األلفية الجديدة‬ - ‫تجاه أولئك الذين يشاركوننا إنسانيتنا إن لم يكن مسقط رأسنا؟ كيف يمكننا‬ ‫ وهي سمة واعية‬،‫ أن نتعامل بتعاطف مع الغرباء الموجودين بيننا‬- ‫كمجتمع وكأفراد‬ ‫قد تكون أقدم وأوسع من اإلنسانية نفسها؟ من المؤسف أن عالمنا الحديث يبدو أنه‬ ‫ ال سيما عندما يتعلق األمر باألقليات‬،‫يتجاهل هذه الغريزة الطبيعية‬. ‫ يهرب البعض من البلدان الخطرة كالجئين ويجدون‬. ‫مثل األشخاص مجتمع الميم‬ ‫ يعترف المنتدى‬.‫ بينما يجد آخرون صعوبات في بلدان المقصد‬،‫مالًذ ا آمًنا‬ .‫ يتم حالًي ا تجريم العالقات المثلية‬،‫ دولة‬72 ‫ في‬:‫االقتصادي العالمي بهذه المشكلة‬ ‫ تجعل األعراف‬،‫ ولكن في العديد من البلدان األخرى‬.‫وفي الثامنة يعاقبون باإلعدام‬ ‫ حتى لو لم يكن‬،‫والتقاليد والعادات االجتماعية حياة المثليين مستحيلة بنفس القدر‬ ‫ ويمكن العثور عىل هذا الفشل البشري الجماعي في االهتمام‬.‫القانون ضدهم رسمًي ا‬ ‫ متجذرة بشكل واضح في بقايا العصور‬، .‫ اليوم‬- ‫ والمباالة العالم بالمشكلة‬- ‫بالغرباء‬ ‫ إن تاريخ حقوق المثليين في أفريقيا ملوث بالتاريخ االستعماري‬.‫االستعمارية‬ ‫ إن أفريقيا مليئة بهذا التعصب المخزي المشابه للعنصرية التي‬.‫المعادي للمثليين‬ ‫ والذي تغذيه‬،‫ والذي يبرر انتهاك حقوق اإلنسان‬،‫عانى منها أسالفهم من العبيد‬ ‫ والتي تسمم‬،‫الكراهية الجاهلة التي ينشرها السياسيون والدعاة عىل حد سواء‬ ‫العائالت والمجتمعات حيث تظل المثلية الجنسية غير قانونية وحيث ينتشر‬ ‫ ومن المؤسف أن هذا التمييز يتغذى جزئًي ا عىل وجهات‬. .‫المضايقة واالضطهاد‬ ‫النظر الدينية المحافظة ويشجعه المتطرفون الدينيون المحافظون في الواليات‬ ‫ اليوم سأشارككم قصتي والمعاناة التي واجهتها حتى وصلت إىل مخيم‬.‫المتحدة‬ ‫ لكنني توصلت إىل‬،‫ صباح أمس ترددت كثيرًا أثناء كتابة قصتي‬:‫كاكوما لالجئين‬ ‫نتيجة وهي‬:

‫والعالقات الجنسية المثلية‪ ،‬والتشريعات التي تستهدف المثليين‪ ،‬والتقاليد‬ ‫الثقافية والدينية‪ ،‬تجبر المثليين عىل الفرار"‪ .‬لكن المثلية الجنسية تعتبر‬ ‫أيضًا جريمة في كينيا‪ ،‬ويقول المحللون السياسيون إن الوضع في المنطقة‬ ‫يزداد سوءًا بدًال من أن يتحسن‪ .‬وتجتاح التشريعات القاسية المناهضة‬ ‫لمجتمع المثليين (التي تشجعها وتحرض عليها الكنائس المسيحية‬ ‫المحافظة في الواليات المتحدة) أفريقيا‪ ،‬ما يسميه الصحفي والمحلل‬ ‫النيجيري دانييل أنتوني "تأثير الدومينو المرعب"‪ .‬حياتهم الجنسية أو ميولهم‬ ‫الجنسية‪ .‬ليس لدي أنا وشريكي أي أمل في الحصول عىل تأشيرة إلعادة‬ ‫التوطين في كينيا‪ .‬أما بالنسبة إلعادة التوطين في بلد ثالث‪ ،‬فقد رفض‬ ‫موظفو المفوضية حتى اآلن حتى قبول طلباتنا‪ .‬ال أحد في العالم كله يعرف‬ ‫من نحن أو يهتم بمعاناتنا‪ .‬وتؤكد منظمة العفو الدولية أن هذا أمر طبيعي‬ ‫في كاكوما‪" :‬طالبو اللجوء من مجتمع المثليين يعانون من التمييز‪ ...‬من‬ ‫المسؤولين الحكوميين والشرطة ومقدمي الخدمات اآلخرين‪ .‬وينعكس هذا‬ ‫غالًبا في التأخير في معالجة طلبات اللجوء لدينا‪ ،‬والمضايقات والهجمات‬ ‫العنيفة ضد األشخاص من مجتمع المثليين‪ .‬والتهديدات والترهيب‬ ‫والفرص المحدودة للغاية لالندماج المحلي أو إعادة التوطين في بلد ثالث‪.‬‬ ‫وتمارس منظمة العفو الدولية ضغوطًا عىل المفوضية منذ سنوات عديدة‪،‬‬ ‫وتطالب بإصالح حقيقي في كاكوما ‪ -‬دعم حقيقي لالجئين من مجتمع‬ ‫المثليين‪ .‬لقد قامت رويترز بعمل جيد عىل أرض الواقع‪ ،‬وكثيًرا ما أبلغت‬ ‫عن المواقف اليائسة التي يجد الالجئون المثليون أنفسهم فيها‪ .‬ولكن وفًق ا‬ ‫لمنظمة العفو الدولية ومنظمة ‪ ،We Like Refugees‬فإن ظروف الالجئين‬ ‫من مجتمع المثليين في كاكوما أصبحت اآلن أسوأ مما كانت عليه عندما‬ ‫أصدرت المفوضية هذا البيان‪ .‬بالنسبة لمعظم الالجئين من مجتمع لمجتمع‬ ‫الميم في كاكوما‪ ،‬لن تتحقق أحالم اللجوء أبًدا‪ .‬األمل في إعادة التوطين في‬ ‫البلدان المتقدمة تتضاءل المناطق حيث تضع دول مثل المملكة المتحدة‬ ‫والواليات المتحدة حواجز عىل الطرق تمنع المهاجرين من مجتمع المثليين‬ ‫من التأهل للحصول عىل اللجوء ‪ -‬عىل الرغم من التاريخ االستعماري الذي‬ ‫خلق الكثير من رهاب المثلية الذي خلق الحاجة إىل اللجوء‪ .‬لمزيد من‬ ‫التوضيح حول هذا الموضوع‪ ،‬هناك مقال‪ .‬الكاتب كايلين هاميلتون‬ ‫يستكشف مقال حديث العوائق التي تحول دون هجرة المثليين في المملكة‬ ‫‪ LGBTQ‬المتحدة‪ .‬وهناك أيًض ا تقرير صادر عن مجموعة الدفاع عن‬ ‫حول كيف تفشل الواليات المتحدة غالًبا في مساعدة ‪Lambda Legal‬‬ ‫األخير ‪ USA Today‬الالجئين وطالبي اللجوء من مجتمع الميم‪ .‬راجع تقرير‬ ‫حول كيفية إدارة بايدن فهي تقبل ‪ %20‬فقط من حصتها المحدودة بالفعل‬ ‫من الالجئين سنويًا‪ .‬هنا أعرف بالضبط عدد المئات من الالجئين المتحولين‬ ‫جنسيًا والالجئين من مجتمع المثليين الذين يعانون داخل مخيم المفوضية‬ ‫في كاكوما‪ . .‬ولم تفعل األمم المتحدة أي شيء لمساعدتهم‪ .‬والمملكة‬ ‫المتحدة ال تفعل شيئا لمساعدتهم‪ .‬والواليات المتحدة ال تفعل شيئًا‬ ‫لمساعدتهم‪ .‬وتحاول بعض الدول الصغيرة‪ ،‬مثل كندا والسويد‪ ،‬لكنها ال‬ ‫تستطيع القيام بالمهمة بأكملها‪ .‬وبينما كان العالم يحشد جهوده إلنقاذ‬ ‫اآلالف من الصبية المفقودين في التسعينيات‪ ،‬قرأت مقاًال تلو اآلخر عن‬ ‫محنتهم‪ .‬وقد أرسل المانحون األموال عدة مرات إىل الوكاالت التي تساعد‬ ‫في إعادة التوطين وتضامن العالم معهم‪ .‬لقد فرحت عندما تمت مساعدة‬ ‫هؤالء الجنود األطفال الذين تعرضوا للوحشية في الحصول عىل حياة جديدة‪.‬‬ ‫هل سأرى العالم يمد يده لمساعدة الالجئين المثليين اليائسين مثلي‬ ‫وشريكي؟ يعد الخوف والكراهية تجاه األشخاص من مجتمع الميم جزًءا كبيًرا‬ ‫من اإلجابة‪ .‬ونقص المعرفة شيء آخر‪ .‬قبل أن تقرأ قصتي هذه‪ ،‬هل كانت‬ ‫لديك أي فكرة عن مدى سوء األمور في كاكوما؟ إذا كنت ال تعرف‪ ،‬فال‬ ‫يمكنك المساعدة‪ .‬هل يمكنك مشاركة هذه القصة مع أصدقائك؟ ساعدهم‬ ‫في معرفة الوضع هنا‪ .‬ساعدهم عىل الفهم‪ .‬اطلب منهم الضغط عىل‬ ‫حكوماتهم وجمعياتهم الخيرية المفضلة التخاذ إجراءات إلزالة الالجئين من‬ ‫‪.‬مجتمع مجتمع الميم الذين يعانون من كاكوما‬ ‫!مًع ا يمكننا القيام بذلك‬

‫" أنا اعيش بين مطرقة الحياه القاسيه و سندان الموت لذلك لم أعد اهتم‬ ‫كثيرالحيسية ا‪.‬‬ ‫اسمي إبراهيم وأنا رجل مثلي الجنس من السودان عمري ‪ 21‬عاًم ا‪ .‬لم أشعر‬ ‫بهذا الشعور إال عندما كان عمري ‪ 15‬عاًم ا في عام ‪ 2017‬وكان لدي شريك‬ ‫اسمه عاصم‪ . .‬أود أن أشارك تجربتي وأن أرفع مستوى الوعي باالنتهاكات‬ ‫الجسيمة لحقوق اإلنسان التي تحدث هنا‪ .‬في وطني‪ ،‬تعرضت للمضايقة‬ ‫والتعذيب واالغتصاب بسبب ميولي الجنسية‪ .‬حتى عائلتي ذكرت أنهم‬ ‫سيأخذونني إىل الشرطة لمعاقبتي بموجب الشريعة اإلسالمية‪ .‬بالنسبة لي‪،‬‬ ‫هذا يعني عقوبة اإلعدام‪ .‬في أكتوبر‪/‬تشرين األول ‪ ،2017‬هاجمني بعض‬ ‫األشخاص من قبيلة شريكي وأحرقوا ساقي اليسرى باستخدام المعدن‬ ‫الساخن‪ .‬لقد فصلوا بيني وبين شريكي بنقله إىل مدرسة مختلفة في مدينة‬ ‫مختلفة‪ .‬لكن في عام ‪ 2018‬حصلنا عىل فرصة والتقينا مرة أخرى‪ .‬لكن‬ ‫والديه هددونا… بالشريعة اإلسالمية‪( .‬محكوم عليه باإلعدام)‪ .‬في ‪ 10‬فبراير‬ ‫[‪ ،]2019‬ألقي القبض علي من قبل مجموعة من القبيلة [تم حجبها] الذين‬ ‫يعملون مع الحكومة السودانية‪ .‬تم القبض علّي مع صديقي وأبي‪ .‬في ‪15‬‬ ‫مارس ‪ ،2019‬أثناء وجودي في السجن‪ ،‬تعرضت لالغتصاب من قبل رجلين‬ ‫‪.‬باسم االنتقام‬ ‫وفي ‪ 20‬مارس‪/‬آذار ‪ ،2019‬تعرضت أيًض ا لالغتصاب من قبل أكثر من ثالثة‬ ‫أشخاص‪ .‬صحتي أصبحت سيئة بسبب تعرضي لالغتصاب‪ .‬كان جسدي‬ ‫منتفًخا‪ .‬وفي ‪ 26‬مارس‪/‬آذار‪ُ ،‬أطلق سراحي‪ .‬في ‪ 28‬مارس‪/‬آذار‪ ،‬هربت من‬ ‫مسقط رأسي إىل [تم حجب اسم المدينة]‪ .‬وفي نفس اليوم‪ ،‬تعرض والدي‬ ‫لهجوم وقتل عىل يد قبيلة [عاصم]‪[ .‬بعد ذلك]‪ ،‬التقيت بصديق والدي من‬ ‫جنوب السودان الذي ساعدني عىل الهروب‪ .‬إىل [مدينة] في جنوب‬ ‫السودان‪ .‬وصلنا إىل جوبا‪ ،‬عاصمة جنوب السودان‪ ،‬في ‪ 3‬أبريل‪/‬نيسان‬ ‫‪ .2019‬ونقلني إىل المستشفى عىل الفور لتلقي العالج‪ .‬بعد ذلك نصحني‬ ‫بالحضور إىل مخيم كاكوما في كينيا حيث كان من المفترض أن أحصل عىل‬ ‫الحرية والمزيد من العالج‪ .‬انتهت رحلتي من جوبا إىل نيروبي في ‪ 11‬أبريل‪/‬‬ ‫نيسان ‪ .2019‬قطعت الرحلة الطويلة بساق محروقة بسبب التعذيب‬ ‫ومشاكل القولون بسبب االعتداءات الجنسية المتعددة‪ .‬المكان الوحيد الذي‬ ‫تمكنت من الوصول إليه بعد مغادرة السودان هو مخيم كاكوما لالجئين‪.‬‬ ‫وهنا‪ ،‬ما زلت أعيش في ظل ظروف غير إنسانية بسبب رهاب المثلية‬ ‫المتأصل‪ .‬لقد تعرضت للهجوم عدة مرات لمجرد أنني رجل مثلي الجنس‪،‬‬ ‫ولم تفعل الشرطة شيًئا حيال ذلك‪ .‬في بعض األحيان يقومون بمضايقتنا‬ ‫[الالجئين المثليين] بالتهديدات أيًض ا‪ .‬وصلت إىل كاكوما في ‪ 13‬أبريل‬ ‫‪ ،2019‬وفي ذلك الوقت كانت حالتي الصحية سيئة بسبب عمليات‬ ‫االغتصاب الجماعي التي تعرضت لها‪ .‬ذهبت إىل المستشفى‪ ،‬وتم فحصي‬ ‫وكانت نتيجة الفحص إيجابية اللتهاب الكبد الوبائي ب‪ .‬في ‪ 27‬يوليو ‪،2019‬‬ ‫أثناء عودتي أنا وشريكي [الجديد] من المستشفى‪ ،‬تعرضت لالعتداء من قبل‬ ‫مجموعة من السودانيين داخل المستشفى‪ .‬المخيم الذي سبب لي شلًال في‬ ‫النصف الشمالي من جسدي‪ ،‬وطعن شريكي في بطنه‪ ،‬ولم أحصل عىل أي‬ ‫مساعدة من الطبيب إال أنه كتب أن هذا ضغط نفسي‪ .‬لم أعد أستطيع‬ ‫تحريك يدي وساقي اليسرى‬ ‫سبب لي شلًال في النصف الشمالي من جسدي‪ ،‬وطعن شريكي في بطنه‪،‬‬ ‫ولم أحصل عىل أي مساعدة من الطبيب إال أنه كتب أن هذا ضغط نفسي‪.‬‬ ‫لم أعد أستطيع تحريك يدي وساقي اليسرى‪ .‬في ‪ 4‬أغسطس‪/‬آب ‪،2019‬‬ ‫تعرضت للهجوم [مرة أخرى‪ ].‬فقدت أحد أسناني‪ .‬وطوال ذلك الوقت‪ ،‬لم‬ ‫أحصل عىل أي مساعدة من المفوضية السامية لألمم المتحدة لشؤون‬ ‫الالجئين‪[ ،‬المفوضية السامية لألمم المتحدة لشؤون الالجئين] لالجئين‪،‬‬ ‫الوكالة التي تدير كاكوما]‪ .‬تم منحنا نحن مجتمع الميم منطقة محددة للسكن‬ ‫داخل المخيم‪ ،‬مما جعل من السهل بسبب ميولي الجنسية‪ . .‬لكنني‬ ‫تعرضت للتمييز من قبل الطالب والمعلمين ألنني مثلي الجنس‪ .‬جعلني‬ ‫أترك المدرسة‪ ،‬لكني ال أزال أتمنى العودة إىل المدرسة‪ .‬وبسبب حالتي‬ ‫الصحية السيئة وتعليمي البسيط أصبحت عاطًال عن العمل‪ ،‬وال أستطيع‬ ‫القيام بأقل األعمال المنزلية تجاه نفسي‪ ،‬وأعيش في حالة نفسية سيئة‪.‬‬ ‫أفكر في االنتحار‪ .‬أعاني هنا كما عانيت في السودان‪ .‬أشعر أنني ال أستطيع‬ ‫العيش كإنسان لمجرد ميولي الجنسية ووضعي كالجئ‪ .‬كل يوم هو صراع‬ ‫من أجل البقاء والحفاظ عىل أملي‪ .‬أمنيتي الوحيدة هي نشر الوعي بالظروف‬ ‫هنا‪ ،‬وأن أعيش يوًم ا ما حياة طبيعية بدون الكونستا‪ .‬ويقدم تقرير منظمة‬ ‫العفو الدولية في شهر مارس‪/‬آذار تفاصيل العديد من قصص‬

NORTH CAROLINA

THE OLD MAN'S CORNER E.L. WINSTON

Rochelle J Photography

As I'm writing this National Day Of Coming Out Day has just passed and as you read this Trans Day Of Remembrance is 19 days away. November is also my Man-aversay month. This started me thinking of all the people we've lost this year just for living in their truth. November is a very emotional and stressful month for me. The range of emotions I feel about it all becomes overwhelming at times. Unfortunately, my mulling isn’t just about the ones we’ve lost not just in this year but for the last 24 years. November is a constant reminder that I'm not safe in a country that prides itself on being the land of the free. Until I can go to the store without fear of not making it home because I am who I am, I will never be free. A while back I was on a panel where someone said that this is the plight of all people of color. My pain is that my fear is heightened amongst my own people. Those who look like me who buy into the narrow-minded bigotry. It is shameful.

Being unsafe amongst my own people means where do I find peace and safety in this world? It’s enough to keep the strongest person stressed and depressed. The reason our suicide and depression rates are so high. Today's climate is so charged that it feels like we're in occupied territory. How do you navigate this world without losing your mind? To be honest, I don't think I have the answer to that question. I do know one thing: a lot of people sacrificed so I can stand in my truth and now it's my turn to carry that torch. I feel like we dishonor those who came before us when we don't pay it forward, especially if we don't stand for those who can't stand for themselves. Not just in November, but always I will continue to say the names of those that we have lost until there are no more senseless killing, until we all can live in this world free, and as our authentic selves. Do an old man a favor: remember those we've lost. Keep their light alive and make sure that the world remembers them. We owe it to those who came before us.

“From a young age I felt like I was a little boy…even though I was assigned female at birth, I knew I was in the wrong body.” With a brilliant smile and a cheerful, positive energy, I was drawn into his world and got a glimpse into his purpose. Kiyani Savage from The Stud Model Project spoke about their life, their Trans journey, and the brilliant future ahead of them. I.L.

“Tell us about yourself.”

K.S.

I am 35 soon to be 36 in January. DMV native, for those who

don’t know, DC rep! I was born in Maryland, raised in DC, Virginia, and Maryland. So, I’m a DMV native. I have 3 degrees, Automotive, Medical, Tattooing, and now I’m in modeling, which I’m known for. I’ve only been modeling for about a year but in that year it has taken me from a basic model to running the back office of things. My partner has been a major part of that. I’m a resource person, the person you go to for information especially within my Trans community. I love to give back to my community and when I speak of community I’m talking about my LGBT, POC, West Indian, and Hispanic communities. My main purpose as a Trans-masculine individual is that I am here, you see me, and I’m going to make history. I.L.- “Tell us a little about your Trans journey” K.S.- It’s been a hard one. My transition has been something I’ve wanted to do since my teens, actually even before that. From a young age, I felt like I was a little boy…even though I was assigned female at birth, I knew I was in the wrong body. I had certain parts that boys or guys don’t have. I felt strongly about

having those parts though. I would do little things

care and hormone replacement therapy was like

like wear jeans and t-shirts and I was packing

hearing someone say you won a million bucks! I’m

without knowing that I was packing. At like 9 or 10

now 5 years strong and I haven’t looked back.

years old, I would put socks in my pants and go outside to play. I felt different. I only played with

I had locs up until a week ago, I literally just cut

the boys, I didn’t play with “girl toys”. I didn’t really

them. When my ancestors start to speak to me and

connect with my female cousins, I was always

my spiritual journey feels like I’m moving further I

more around my male cousins. I knew at a very

listen. One thing I say to myself all the time: there’s

early age. I was raised by my grandmother who

no elevation without dedication that leads to

taught me to really love myself for who I am and

elevation. I felt like it was a sign, I felt like things were

she was the first one who knew I was interested in

being blocked or put on standby because of the

women. She was extremely supportive and would

actual toxicity I had allowed to linger around and I

defend me and fuss at anyone who questioned

felt like it was in my hair, so I cut them to start over,

me. Under my dead name she would say, “Leave

to rebuild good energy, get rid of the bad people,

Kiyana alone, leave her alone and let her be her.” I

places, things that I’ve been through and any

miss the support but I know she’s still here. She has

negative energy that attached itself to me. After

passed away. I told her at like 10 years old that I

that first loc was cut, it felt like new life was being

was interested in girls but before then she found a

breathed into me. I was like YES! Cut it all off! I really

letter I had written to a girl in middle school. It was

didn’t have a lot of support when it came down to

an intimate letter, it wasn’t sexual but we just knew

my transition outside of a few people. I have had

she was my “girlfriend” and I was her “boyfriend.” I

my partner of 2 years. She’s been extremely

grew up as a stud and once my grandmother

supportive. My transition has been an abundant

passed away I, unfortunately, had to go into foster

journey but I’m still growing and learning.

care which opened up my eyes to the level of support that I wasn’t getting from my mom, my dad, my aunts and uncles. I saw that there was a

I.L.-How did you get into modeling?

level of love even though I was in the situation I was in. Once I got through foster care, I knew at

K.S.- My partner, she’s been modeling since she was

around 17-18 years old that there was something

in high school, in her teens. She just encouraged me

wrong with me. I didn’t know the term “gender

to put in my application. The agency I’m with is

dysphoria” but I would just be a Debbie Downer. I

called Stud Model Project, I’ve been with them for a

felt like I should be a man, like I was put here to be

year and a half. They taught me there’s more to

a protector, to be a physical being of masculinity. I

modeling than just looking good. You have to know

began to understand through research and by

how to use your facial muscles for your expressions,

seeing others around me (shout out to Baltimore

speaking with your eyes, and painting a picture with

Mothers who were the ones who actually told me).

your body language. As a Trans man, you just don’t

There were a lot of my Baltimore mothers I didn't

see a lot of us in modeling, in fashion shows or

know were Trans, I just did not know. After I came

magazines. It’s something I’ve been able to do by

out they really supported me and led me to focus

being with this agency, my boss, Teresa Morcho, has

on me. My transition didn’t really start until my 30s,

definitely paved a way for us in this industry. We just

it took a while for me to gain the courage to really

walked in Atlanta Pride’s parade with Slutty Vegan!

live as myself. From the age of 18 all the way to 29, I

I’ve never walked in a parade and now I’m not only

was only sheltering myself from who I really was

because I wanted to make everyone else around

community. I’m now starting to build my own brand

me happy. This led me into a depression. I felt like I

and my partner really helps with that a lot. Not only

was living this lifestyle for them and I was still

does she help with the makeup and hair, but she

shunned. To this day, my dad still can’t look at me. I

really pushes me and helps me with the open

finally got to a point in my mid 20s where I finally

mindset that I can do it even though the world said I

just

else’s

couldn’t. That’s one thing about a lot of us Trans or

perspective. I started testosterone on January 22,

anyone in the LGBT community or queer in general

2018, this was the biggest choice of my life. When

is we lack in this world acceptance and it’s the thing

the doctor approved me, all I did was fall on my

we want the most. In a lot of areas it’s lacking but

knees…that’s all I could do…to hear those words

within this agency and with my partner supporting

that you were approved for your gender affirming

me I was able to gain the confidence to say, “Hey

stopped

caring

about

everyone

model

but

ambassador

for

the

LGBTQ

look, I did it and you can do it too.” A level of learning yourself, believing in yourself, and actually striving to go and get what you want.

Thanks so much to Kiyani Savage for taking the time to speak with us at BlaqueOut Magazine. You can find them: IG: Blessed_Qassim

I.L.- Tell us about your podcast K.S.- As of now, our main platform is on TikTok and it’s called “A Trans Man Speaks”. We have episodes

TikTok: Blessed_Qassim or Other handles Ig & TikTok: ATransManSpeaks YouTube: Kiyani’s Ambition

on TikTok and Instagram. My partner, Waya the Healer and I are both models at SMP (Stud Model Project) and we discuss anything related to the LGBTQ community, be it good, bad, or something in

Photo Credits: @studmodelproject, ADJ Media (@antoinneduanejones), and Kiyani Savage

the news. It is to bring awareness to things that other podcasts are afraid to talk about especially in the Black community. You have a lot of other ethnicities that don’t really experience what we experience being 1-Black, 2-LGBTQ, 3-Trans, and 4living in Florida. They are trying to wipe us out; Ron DeSantis is trying to wipe us out completely. But we have shown him that at the end of the day, our balls are bigger, literally.

I.L. What would you like to share that we haven’t spoken about? K.S. I am an up and coming photographer. I’m in school for that now. I’m in fashion and recently walked my first fashion show in Atlanta for Black Pride. I want to launch a brand not only based off of my for my urban and skater boi side but I want to launch a casual and business wear line for the more savvy wear. I’m pushing for December 2023 with pop up shops. I want to be working for myself by the end of 2024.

Written By @Immanilove she/her

NORTH CAROLINA

LOVE LIVES IN US...

The Winstons Winston and the Mrs. (E. L. and Roni)

Love lives in us…the Winstons and we want to share a little bit of it with you. When love takes hold of our hearts, we are often reluctant to face head on the shortcomings of a potential partner. The problem is though that we are even less likely to look at our own shortcomings. Isn’t it easier to blame the other person? What’s the healthiest approach? This is how we get caught up thinking of our past relationships only from the lens of our perfection and the other person’s failures. Our present relationships deserve more honesty with ourselves and our partner.

The Mrs. I’ve shared before that Winston helped me to recognize so many things about myself, but there was some work I put into myself before we met as well. The work was taking a deep dive not just into my past traumas, but also into what ways I was a problem. I had to ask myself about the ways in which I was unfit in some of my past relationships and how I had drawn in/provoked some of the problems I had faced. Now, let me preface this by saying that NO ONE deserves to be abused. I had to consider though that there were red flags that waved furiously before I went into those abusive relationships of my past. I had to understand what my own accountability was in those relationships. Why did I ignore the red flags? Why did I stay so long? How did I need to change the way I fed my own spirit? Why did I allow someone else to claim my power? It was working through those hard questions that helped me to realize that I had in so many ways, so many times victimized myself. By the time I met Winston, I was ready for something new.

Winston Being able to see how I got here is such an eye opening and freeing type of journey that I think everybody should do it LOL. Before I met the Mrs. I had a lot of work to do on my own. Honestly, I never thought I was wrong, so I couldn't understand how I kept putting myself in these crazy relationships. It wasn't until I started to be accountable for my part in these situations, until I started to work on myself that a change began to happen. I had to realize that the crazy ones weren’t just crazy. My behavior wasn’t fostering the healthiest of relationships. Recognizing those things allowed the pieces of what I wanted and what that was going to look like to come together. We owe it to our partners to be accountable for the things that we do. Part of being happy and being able to say, “Yep, that was totally me” or “Yes, I played a part in this situation” has to become part of our vocabulary. You have to address that thing so that it isn't an issue in your future.

Thoughts to Leave You We always tell our daughter to ask a new interest why their last relationship ended and really listen to what they say. If they make it out that they were the victim and they don’t talk about some of the mistakes they made, as well as, the ways in which they have grown, then we tell her to stay away.

If you’re single and hoping for love, then this is the time to be reflective and take ownership. If you’re already in a relationship, then this is the time to talk with your significant other and discuss who you are and how you got here. We often like to think that the shattered pieces we have only come from the hammer someone else was holding, but now we need to look in the mirror to see that there are times we take the hammer and shatter our own pieces. Our healthy relationships have us recognizing that love lives in us deeply enough for us to be our honest selves.

A QUICK READ FOR THE GWORLS Tarot done specifically for you if you were born in :

NOVEMBER This birthday is more than just a celebration of your birth it is time for an evolution in your career plan. The Universe is aligning things so this is one of the happiest years of your life. Following your passion takes on a whole new meaning. You are encouraged to bring your passion to work and to your friendships. This will be contagious.

DECEMBER The Sun may not be sticking around as long these days but it is shining strong for you in your reading. Take time this month to show your best to the world. It is time for you to shine. This is our chance to be generous to someone who could use some assistance. About mid month there may be a difficult conversation you may need to have but it could result in an increase in your income. This brings things back into balance for all the hard work you have out in.

JANUARY Starting out this month you may find it more difficult to stay positive . You are a little low in the faith department but as time moves on you are able to start trusting a little more. This trust is first in yourself and then in your ability to see your way through. For some reason everything this month feels more challenging than usual. Don’t be afraid to add techniques or tools to your repertoire. The end of the month brings you good news about a job offer or at least a new source of income. Pace yourself early on to get get to the good stuff.

FEBRUARY Your spirit is looking to be set free from any old patterns of behavior that aren’t benefiting you. Take some time to look inside to see what areas of your life could use some revamping. It is time for you to step into your purpose. The longer you procrastinate the more intense the challenges will tend to be. You need to slow any negative momentum that has taken hold by slowing down until you can get a restart in a better direction. Trust that you will know you are headed in the right direction when intuitively it just feels right.

MARCH You may want to look over your shoulder a little more this month. Sabotage is in the air around you. Someone may be trying to trip up your forward progress. Don’t let their energy pull you down to their level. Your high vibration could very well start rubbing off on them after some resistance. You may find with some caring conversation they may surprise you and a new friendship could result. Remember those bully’s you knew back in school? Sometimes they were bully’s because they were acting out of loneliness. Take this as a teaching moment instead of a war.

APRIL Abundance is your keyword this month. Even if you have made mistakes up to this point , lift your head up and March forward with confidence. Make sure you get some alone time to prepare yourself for where you are headed. You may feel like to are alone on your path but keep the faith because as long as you are using good judgement, things will start lightening up around the holiday. Make sure you take note of the things you are grateful for.

MAY The Universe is working very closely with you this month so put your intentions out there. They want you to connect with your authentic self and do what you do best. This a great time to show the world what you are capable of. Don’t be afraid to show people a different perspective. Especially when it comes to the things they are struggling with. Sharing your story, not only the painful stuff but the progress you have made. You have no idea how much help that can be to someone who is going through similar situations. You don’t have to carry them on your shoulders on this trip but you can lead the way. This can also be beneficial to you and your process because learning to trust yourself enough to open up could also help someone else that feels they are alone. Show them how you cut through your insecurities so that they are encouraged to find a way that works for them. Good work!

JUNE Time to do some introspection. Check in with your inner being, your higher self and see what grade it would give you for where you are each day. Show yourself some love with some self care. Make sure you are getting enough rest. From that rested place you will make better decisions . Also, make time for friends, especially around the holidays. You never know who you might meet or what relationships might improve or deepen. Include others in your plans. It will be good for both of you.

JULY Stop! I mean slow down enough that you are sure about what momentum you are about to create. Once you get something going it is harder to stop it so catch it early so you can check it. You may find that old stuff you thought you were done with starts to creep in. Don’t let it take hold. You are in a better place now and you can’t afford to go back and risk your forward progress. If you are looking for a career change do so before the holiday. Employers mind sets may change and not want to continue their searches until after the new year. Make sure you are storing up a little extra cash this month for when gifting starts. Don’t forget the real meaning of this month’s holidays. Be grateful first for the veterans we have lost and then to give thanks for everything that we have and the ability to continue to bring more things into our lives to celebrate.

AUGUST I know things can be challenging for some of you at this time of year or any day for that matter. You are being asked to dig a little deeper to find the strength that resides in you and use it to barrel through. You are going to learn new techniques this month to help. You are going to make great strides. The biggest thing for you to remember and internalize is that you are never alone.

SEPTEMBER Your higher self is ready for you to tap into all that is you this month. From that place of higher confidence you will find that people will want to help you with whatever you are working on or towards. There could be a new source of income that is offered to you . This is not based only on your skills but the integrity that you demonstrate. You make some valuable personal connections this month. People that will stay beside you in any battle you face.

OCTOBER Just because it’s not your birthday month anymore doesn’t mean you can’t still shine. In fact , it might be time to think about finding a new stage for your star self to shine on. Start by being more proactive about looking for a better fit. You don’t have to wait for things to get unbearable to make career moves. If you see a better opportunity out there someplace , go after it. Too often we are stuck reacting to a bad situation and then needing to take something out of desperation. Why not start looking for your next thing now? Take control and that puts more of the power in your hands.

Looking for a little more guidance on what life might bring you this month? Tarot cards, read by an intuitive reader, can provide us that guidance. While your personal reading may vary slightly, the readings here are directed for all of those born in the same month for the current month. For a more specific reading to your specific circumstance Doreen Scanlan, Intuitive Text 585-615-8494 for a personalized reading to set an appointment.

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BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE November 2023

Articles inside

BLAQUE/OUT Magazine Feature: NATHANIEL JOHNSON "He Got the Keys"