Living In the Light
Javannah Davis SHE/HER
Church Hurt In the LGBTQ+ Community Okay, let’s talk!
Growing up in a faith-based community or a family rooted in religion can be restrictive for the average individual; granted being voluntary or involuntary. However, for an individual who is LGBTQ+ growing up in such an environment can be more than restrictive, it can turn out to be a significantly traumatic situation. Growing up LGBTQ+ in the church, I was always taught to love the sinner, but hate the sin. The issue with that is that it can translate to a young queer boy or girl developing into their own feelings and emotions that there’s a part of themselves that they should hate. Organized religion teaches us everything that’s wrong with being different and that its either follow their lead or be lost to eternal hell fire. This is not entirely true, and is not the case. Just because you identify as whomever under the LGBTQ+ umbrella that doesn’t mean that you have to choose between your Identity and Spirituality.
Faith is the foundation of the lives of many people throughout the world, offering guidance and support during times of a variety of struggles, one may experience during their lifetime. It can also be an intricate part of one's own mental well-being. Individuals in the LGBTQ+ community are no exception! Oftentimes faith may be complex in the case of non-affirming religious beliefs or a sense of possible rejection from spiritual communities. Spirituality and religion can still be integral to the lives of individuals in the LGBTQ+ community.
I want to introduce Bishop Malik L. McFarley. He is a well known pastor in the LGBTQ+ community, and has himself grown up in the church and has felt the hindrance of organized religion. Bishop Malik has opted to share his story and answer a few questions in regards to his journey of self-acceptance and his growth as a community leader.
Javannah: Tell us about yourself as a clergyman
Malik: Well, I have been preaching since the age of 14 years old. I was ordained and installed as a Pastor at 20 years old in 2011 and started a second location at 21 year old in 2012.
Javannah: What faith or religion were you raised in?
Malik: I grew up in a very Pentecostal/Apostolic and
holiness religion being raised by my greatgrandmothers and grandmothers growing up.
Javannah: What were your experiences being raised under such a regimented faith-based system?
Malik: My experiences growing up in church was a mixture of good as well as bad. My grandparents raised me in the Pentecostal church but I ventured out as I got older to go to more contemporary ministries and churches. Ministries that were melting pots with many different races and cultures and backgrounds.
Javannah: How did growing up in the church affect you as a gay man?
Malik: Growing up in the church affected me as a gay man because in the first 4 years after graduating high school, until me coming out at 22, I had to keep my sexuality a secret. Any relationship that I had did not have any real significance because I had not fully come to that truth about myself. The church would have ostracized me and at that point in my life I wasn’t ready mentally or emotionally to go through that scandal and drama that I KNEW the church would quickly bestow and put upon me. Coming out can definitely be a challenge to one's faith; what they were raised to believe seems somewhat contradictory to how a person may feel on the inside especially in the black church community. Suicide is a big problem to those.
Javannah: Has your sexuality and religious beliefs caused a disconnect between you and your family?
Malik: Yes, in the beginning it did bring about a disconnect with me and my family. Throughout the years I built enough courage and bravery to let them know that if you cannot accept me for who I am, then I can no longer let you have access to my life or my husbands as well. As well as our union together.
Javannah: How does religion play apart in your marriage?
Malik: For my marriage, we are very more spiritual than anything. God is the focal point and foundation that we have built upon in our journey and in our marriage. I personally believe that it is with the help of God that has kept us married this long.
