An Essay By Tamara Sanaa Leigh, “All BLACK Lives Matter”

I have spent the better part of my life fighting for things, for people. Justice, equity, rights, jobs, services, a platform, a voice, a place at the table. I have spent a good part of the last eight or nine years campaigning either in the streets in protest or in the media in interviews fighting for Black lives. I’ve spent the better part of the last five years either in the press or in someone’s boardroom fighting for LGBTQ+ life, liberty and culture. I don’t think I even realized until very recently the degree those causes would intersect. I didn’t come out until adulthood and to be honest, my family circumstances were constructed differently so I didn’t suffer to the same degree as most what it meant to grow up gay in a Black household. Everyone grows up differently, but few circumstances, at least in my mind, rival the unbelievable weight of trying to survive being Black in America and treated like a second class citizen- in addition to being QTPOC (queer or trans person of color) and treated like an embarrassment or an abomination in your own home (when in fact that may have been the only place you would ever have a chance to receive love or acceptance). I’d like to pause there, not to offer further explanation but to ask you to reread the previous sentence. Now read it again. Okay, so now let's unpack. I thought alot about what I felt this very important article needed to touch on. I consulted friends and my social network of experts in this field. Please understand, the use of the word expert in this context doesn’t refer to PHDs or storied research careers, but the actual experts- the lost, now-adult children you discarded years ago because of your own belief system and the people who graciously swooped in to love them, teach them, feed and clothe them in your absence. Not the people who teach it, but those who actually live it. I could go into where and how the machine called Christianity which morphed into Black Church culture was even introduced to African culture and why and how based on that fact alone it is asinine that those doctrines would convince you to today, not to love or accept your own flesh and blood. Or how a religion based on Jesus whose entire life was grounded in love and acceptance is a very poor example of why homosexuality should be condemned since every single reported teaching preached very much the opposite. I could do that, but I won't because- google. I’m not going to get into attacking people’s belief systems because you have the right to think how you think and worship how you worship just like I have the right to be Black and walk safely down the street or be gay and love who I love. Instead, I want to talk about speeches. I have had the honor and privilege to deliver a lot of speeches. It’s terrifying to some people. I love it. The feeling of the crowd interacting with you, the energy of collective thought and purpose wafting into the air. It's a phenomenally powerful experience. Each time you deliver a speech you learn something. Kind of like being a comedian, you learn what works- what gets laughs. When you deliver a speech, you learn what resonates. Sometimes that means for the audience, sometimes that simply means within your own heart. The thing that has struck me recently is that when speaking to BLM crowds, you often end up giving two different speeches to the same audience. There are alot of different points to touch on and speaking to white allies is very different than speaking to the Black folks in the crowd. So different, that at times you have to say out loud who you are actually talking to. I say that to say- that right now, in this moment, I’m talking to Black folks. I stand with you in that cringy moment when you say Black Lives Matter and someone comes back at you with the “well don’t all lives matter?” (and yes, I know you read that in the voice just like I did). For a hundred reasons that I don’t have to tell you it's offensive, unimportant, not the point, meaningless and just a way to further invalidate us and the reason why we are out here day in and day out marching in these streets. It is intended as a distraction. So you may have attended a BLM march or protest and heard “All Black Lives Matter''. I’ve heard a hundred people say it is a distraction also, takes away from the point, takes away from the movement. When in fact it does not. When we say Black Lives Matter- we are talking to white folks and society. When we say “All Black Lives Matter'' we are talking to you. It is a subtle whisper to you Black man, beautiful Black woman to make a statement and ask the question if Black lives matter- does my Black, gay life matter to you? It’s almost rhetorical. But right now, in these streets it's being forced to become literal. Because does it? I have heard people say, “well if we are fighting for Black lives doesn’t that mean ALL Black lives?” So based on fact and reality- I ask you; does it? I often tell people for their own personal level of understanding to take anything they would say about LGBTQ+ people in a sentence and replace it with Black and see if they are still comfortable saying it or hearing it. Although we are CLEARLY still fighting for Black survival and equity, many of the same conversations that we were having about Black folks in the 60’s and 70’s, we are now having WITH Black folks about the LGBTQ+ community. I imagine you have heard white people justify their racist opinions of Black people by saying it's just a preference or a personal belief and they are entitled to their opinion. Yes? The answer in no uncertain terms is you are not entitled to an opinion that threatens my life, affects my livelihood, denies me the same rights as everyone else or allows me to be seen as less than. I never do this, but on behalf of every single Black Queer and Trans person on Earth, I respond an emphatic “ditto”. The place to put an opinion about another person’s sexual preference or gender identity is in the box where you decide your own. If you have a fundamental issue with homosexuality or the idea of gender identity and fluidity, don’t be gay or trans. Entire world issue SOLVED! Mind-blown, Right? It was literally just that simple. I will follow that with, if the basis of that belief is rooted in your Christianity, you are not a Christian. Full stop. Read it again. Christ didn’t make that rule, people did. So let me quickly tackle some of the less religiously based factors my friends, the experts, have encountered.

The gay agenda. Easy- there isn’t one. LGBTQ+ people exist in the world. Go outside, spin around and throw a rock and you’ll hit one. Entertainment and media is supposed to be a fictionalization or dramatization of reality. As we exist in real life, we would naturally be characterized in movies and television. I have watched straight people on TV all my life and still ended up just as gay. It is no different than wanting to see Black and Brown doctors instead of drug dealers and janitors. Because in real life Black and Brown people are doctors too. In real life, LGBTQ+ people are people too. Movies and television are generally about people so why wouldn't all kinds of different people be represented there? In addition to the fact that if one gay Disney character helps a Black gay kid not kill himself, I consider it worth the risk to every other kid who may see it too. The gay agenda thing is deeply rooted in our history. It is an absolute fact that sexual atrocities were committed against Black people, enslaved people, domestic workers and servants for the purpose of dominance for centuries. But that didn’t make those proud, strong Black folks weak and it did not make them gay. It made them victims of unspeakable TRAUMA and torture. White folks at the time also convinced themselves and each other that we don’t feel pain or need rest and that our bodies can survive unspeakable torture. So every time you tell your son to man up, not to cry or shame a gay person for being “less of a man” or “unladylike” as a woman- you are doing the white man’s bidding. Don’t choose one agenda over the next because it suits your argument. The audacity of categorizing a gay Black man or a Black Transman as less of a man is so incredibly offensive when we have spent the majority of American history being counted as 3/4 of a person. May I remind you that a Black Queer woman began the Black Lives Matter Movement. That a Queer Black Man was Dr. Martin Luther King Jrs closest and most valued advisor. That Stonewall was led by fearless Black and Brown Transwomen. White folks made sure that history forgot the heart of the LGBTQ+ movement. Don’t be the Black folks that are campaigning to do the same. Just because we are Black, doesn’t mean we can't land on the wrong side of history too.

You can’t be Black and LGBTQ+ at the same time/ you’re Black first. So first, intrinsically you ARE Black and gay at the same time. Its called Intersectionality. To the second part, I’d say exactly. In a crowd of Black Lives Matter protesters there could be Catholics, Muslims, Men, Women, gay people, straight people, deadbeats, drug users, drug dealers and people selling the Ford St. bridge. Whether I know them, like them or approve of how they live their life- they are ALL BLACK FIRST. So remember that. Believe it or not the gay world is often not much fun for most of us either. Racism runs RAMPANT in the larger gay community. It’s why we insulate and isolate from them so much. It’s why Black Pride is even a thing. We often find ourselves too Black to be gay and too gay to be Black so you are leaving other Black folks without country, without people, without support. FULL STOP. Read the last sentence again. The important piece of it is that YOU are perpetrating that act against OTHER BLACK FOLKS. You are ostracizing your own people. Is that REALLY what

you want to be doing when we are all out here fighting for our lives? In addition, does that feel remotely right to you? Lastly, you can’t use the same conclusion to argue two opposite points. Either we are Black first so we are included or Black first and excluded. Make up your mind. I always ask people to imagine themselves on a dark, rainy road in the middle of the night with one cop pointing a gun at your head and another with his knee in your neck as you gasp for air because you had a broken taillight. A car pulls up. Its a Black transwoman in a pink skirt and heels and the most effeminate gay Black man you can possibly imagine. These are the people WE shame. These are the people WE kill. These are the people WE deny. Back to the scene. These two are willing to take those cops out- on your behalf. Bum rush them and fight, hit them with a car- whatever it takes in that moment to save your life and get you home to your children. In that moment are you concerned about how that person chooses to identify or who they are sleeping with? If you are- you are a very different person than me.

I will end this with something I have said before because I personally feel it is the most poignant point. You CAN NOT be a Black Community Leader and not represent and support Black and Brown LGBTQ+ community members. I will say it one more time and put my life on it. You CAN NOT be a Black Community Leader and not represent and support Black and Brown LGBTQ+ community members. You don’t get the luxury of excluding the tall ones, the small ones, the crazy ones, the trans ones, the church ones, the homeless ones, the incarcerated ones, the formerly incarcerated ones, the ones that can’t dress, the ones that talk too much, the ones that believe in a different God as you. The ones who don't believe in God at all. Not the masculine women, not the effeminate men. Not the one that your ex cheated on you with, not the non-binary one, not the one that overcharged you for lunch. Not the political ones, not the ones that don’t vote, not the ones who are on public assistance, the ones that are filthy rich or the ones that are just plain filthy. It is not your privilege, not your responsibility and certainly not your right to exclude ANYONE from this movement for change. Because WE are a sum of our parts. We will win together, we will lose together and we will march in the streets TOGETHER. I challenge you to learn and read and expand your mind about all the things found in this piece but at the end of the day you don’t have to do anything. But if you can’t or won't, move out of the way. Because as we are creating change and reimagining a new world free of privilege, capitalism and police brutality- we are also reimagining a world where the goal of the movement is what it ALWAYS should have been. A world and a country where Black and Brown folks can truly chase a dream to be fully considered, fully represented and allowed in that humanity to be our 100% authentic selves without boundaries or code switch. Where our hair isn’t regulated- because it’s ours. Where the culture that exists within our dialect is embraced as valid. Where WE are free and we won’t get there unless we fight this fight together. Black Lives Won’t Matter until they ALL do. Don’t come to the table unless you’re ready to meet everybody there because we aren’t just flipping tables- the ones that won’t budge- we’re burning down.