serve now – he not only has to watch the ball, he also needs to keep an eye on his partner in case she goes on the rampage again….This is where a lot of married couples find themselves – the TEAM dynamic is not functioning in their relationship.
T = TRUST
to be confident or sure of, to place confidence in….. You and your spouse need to be 100% committed to making your marriage work and to having God’s kingdom established in your relationship. This means that your marriage is the ONLY plan you have – there is no option of walking out or getting a divorce or even making provision IN CASE things don’t work out. (Remember the FAITH factor – God will honour your commitment.) You also need to remember that we are fighting a battle here on earth and it is close combat – hand-to-hand stuff. If two people stand back to back in a battle, they can cover every area of the enemy’s attack (360 degrees) – your spouse needs to know that you have his back covered and that you will fight just as hard as he does to see the enemy defeated in every area of your lives. This Trust needs to extend to every area of your lives – finances (you must both be working from the same budget, and must be able to trust that each of you will do your utmost to stick to it, or discuss any deviation FIRST before spending the money – no secret bank
accounts...). Trust means that you NEVER put your partner down in any company or under any circumstances – you should ALWAYS be their most ardent supporter (fan). TEAM is ONLY the two of you, because you and your spouse are in covenant. The Word of God is clear that when we enter into the marriage covenant, we leave our parents and cleave to one another, so there will probably come a time when you will have to defend your spouse against an attack from your parent/s (usually your mother!). TEAM includes your children for the time that they are with you, but you must always remember that they are on “loan” to you and are not part of your covenant. In fact, as far as their discipline goes, they are NOT part of the team – you should support one another in every decision concerning your children’s discipline.
E = EMPATHY.
When you encounter challenges or problems, make an effort to see your spouse’s point of view. Use the communication skills you have learnt to find the root cause of the problem and then try to see it from the other’s point of view. Empathy means putting yourself in the other person’s place so that you can identify how they feel and why they are reacting in a certain way. The best place for this is to go to your “SAFE PLACE” and discuss the matter in a non-confrontational way with Sep~ Nov 2015 Brides Essence Digital Magazine
15