34: THE TRANSFORM EDITION by RAZZ Magazine

RazZ

ISSUE 34: TRANSFORM

RAZZ is the University of Exeter’s Arts, Culture and Lifestyle magazine. Print Editor: Caitlin Barr Deputy Print Editor: Daniella Clarke Creative Director: Francesca Sylph Print Copy Editors: Aimee Fisher and Erin Zammitt

contributors Alanah Swift Alana Patey Ana Anajuba Anabel Costa-Ferreira Bethan Oakley Bridie Adams Caitlin Barr Daniella Clarke Emily Cooper Erin Zammitt Faith Dale-Hughes

cover illustration by millie green check out our transform playlist on spotify:

Francesca Sylph Gwen Page-Gibby Katya Green Lisa Greghi M Shelton Maggie John Maya Fernandes Meg Hatfield Megan Roberts Mia Roe Millie Green

Niamh Kemp Nicole Tonner Poppy Pearce Rachel McEwan Rei Henfield Sarah Banerjee Scotty Gillespie Serena Watkins Sidney Watson Tabby Hannam Yasmin Gooch

editors’ note Here it is, the final issue of the academic year, and this team’s last. We decided on the theme of TRANSFORM because the last couple of years have demanded transformations from us, and we wanted to explore the idea of changes both positive and negative. Working on RAZZ has been one of the highlights of my university experience so far. Getting to see a magazine through from its theme to the content and pitches to holding it in my hands always feels miraculous, and I’m so grateful to have had a part in all the amazing work produced this year. I couldn’t have done any of it without Dani, Francesca, Erin and Aimee, who have been the best print team a girl could ask for. It’s been so fun creating with all of you. I’d also like to thank every single writer featured in these pages and in previous editions: you make the magazine! Thanks also to the brilliant RAZZ committee for being so supportive and lovely! In this issue you’ll find more wonderful articles, illustrations and photos from our creative members. As the release of this edition falls in Pride Month, we’ve given a particular focus to talking about the LGBTQ+ community. We hope you enjoy reading it! Caitlin Barr, Print Editor

I’m honoured to share with you our final print edition of RAZZ this year, TRANSFORM. I’m so proud of the print team and all the hard work that was put into this issue. I’m grateful to everyone who has supported us and read the magazine. Most of all, I’m enormously impressed with all the writers featured in this issue, the standard has been exceptional. However, as this is my final issue on committee, the feeling is bittersweet. Being the Deputy Print Editor this year has been massively rewarding and I’ll miss being part of such an inclusive and inspiring team. As I finish my final year of undergrad, and as spring gives way to summer, many aspects of my life are transforming, as I’m sure they are for many of you. This issue is dedicated to transformations of all kinds; the good and the bad, the exciting and the scary. Thank you for picking up a copy and I hope you enjoy! Daniella Clarke, Deputy Print Editor

Welcome to TRANSFORM! This is the final issue of the academic year, and the final issue from this team, so we knew it had to be a special one. With post-grad life looming on the horizon for most of us, and June marking Pride Month, we wanted to focus on transformations. Change can be really scary, but it’s also incredibly exciting! Wherever your next steps may take you, we hope this issue provides you with some comfort and clarity. RAZZ has been such a huge part of my university experience and I’m sad to say goodbye, but I’m excited to pass the baton on to a new team of creative and talented individuals. I’d like to thank the dream team one final time: Caitlin, Dani, Aimee and Erin. It’s been wonderful working with you all, and I’m really proud of what we have created in the midst of deadlines and dissertations. I’d also like to thank everyone who has contributed to RAZZ over the last year. We couldn’t have done it without you, and we hope you enjoy our farewell issue. Francesca Sylph, Creative Director Sitting here writing this, it feels like only a few weeks ago that we started our first print run of the year, but here we are in May with our last magazine of the year! I have really enjoyed my time as RAZZ Print Copy Editor, it has been fantastic to read all the amazing contributions from RAZZ writers and fellow committee members throughout the year. I’m so proud of what we have all produced during such a stressful time and can’t thank everyone enough for helping to make RAZZ the welcoming, inclusive and amazing society it is. It has always been a welcome break from studying to read through the pieces produced for our magazine and I have learnt so much from all the insightful articles featured in this year’s print runs. Working with RAZZ has been a wonderful addition to my final year and I can’t wait to see what our new committee have in store for next year! Aimee Fisher, Print Copy Editor It only feels like yesterday that we were discussing ideas for TOGETHER, our Freshers edition, and now we’re putting the finishing touches on our final magazine issue as a print team. It’s been challenging and stressful, but so rewarding – there’s nothing better than holding in your hands a finished product that you’ve worked on from beginning to end. It has been such a joy to read the work of our talented writers, who have not only brought our ideas to life but have taken the themes in new and exciting directions. Thank you to Caitlin, Dani, Francesca and Aimee for being such a dream team over the past year, it has been so fun to be part of this group and I’m so proud of what we’ve created. I hope you enjoy TRANSFORM, crammed full of beautiful writing and illustrations from our amazing contributors – and quite fittingly, I can’t wait to see how the incoming print team transform RAZZ next. 4

Erin Zammitt, Print Copy Editor

a year in RazZ

All issues of RAZZ can be found at https://issuu.com/razzmag

contents 3-4 editors’ note 8-9 transforming pride 10-11 before/after pics 12-13 coming out or boxed in? 14-17 reinventing the female star 18-21 hidden pride gems

22-23 self-worth, confidence and transformations 25-27 mental health habits 28-29 how a year abroad can transform 30-32 cosmetic surgery: loaded or liberated? 33-34 transform playlist 35-37 creative poetry

38-39 the ventriloquist: a passenger inside my head 40-41 how covid transformed the university experience 42-47 dressing for me 48-49 adored adaptations 50-57 interview with scotty gillespie 58-59 how has covid changed the world of work?

60-62 spruce up your space 63-67 second-hand switch up: how i upcycle clothes to fit my style 68-69 the misunderstood cygnet: the ugly duckling that never was 70-71 recipes 72-73 turning over a new leaf 74 transform quiz 7

Transforming Pride RAZZ writer Niamh Kemp discusses the commodification of Pride Month, and how June can be transformed into something more representative and intentional. Rainbow washing is the act of slapping a pride flag on logos and items during the month of June for Pride Month, but not actually being a proper ally to those in the LGBTQ+ community. These acts are usually a marketing tactic: “it’s a performative act of allyship and it is not what a good ally looks like” (1). It is obviously positive that Pride gets such strong recognition in June from companies and brands, but is this really such a good thing? It is one thing to plaster rainbows all over your company logo and another to be a true ally.

“It is one thing to plaster rainbows all over your company logo and another to be a true ally.” Pride should be about supporting those within the community, raising awareness and stopping the spread of ignorance, but sadly this is not the case. Rather, some elements of Pride have turned into a parade of cheap, tacky merchandise that never really presents what it is to be in the LGBTQ+ community. Usually, the people who enjoy seeing the Nike logo brandish a rainbow tick or Primark’s colourful socks are not the people these brands should be trying to support. Instead Pride is used to entice people to

buy their product by ‘supporting’ the group or as a bare minimum act of representation for those who are LGBTQ+.

“Some elements of Pride have turned into a parade of cheap, tacky merchandise that never really presents what it is to be in the LGBTQ+ community.” Personally, I believe that companies and governments should actively try to represent all members of the LGBTQ+ community, not just participate in token gestures that don’t fully represent everyone. When companies sell products with the iconic rainbow colours, perhaps they should also make available the flags of all the other underrepresented sexualities. There is so much that people don’t know about the LGBTQ+ community and the fact that there is a flag for every orientation you can think of is one of those things. Gay, lesbian, ally, transgender, bisexual, to name but a few, all have their own unique and beautiful flags that could be interwoven somehow into the merchandise and branding for Pride, so individuals feel more represented and seen during the month.

Companies should also make their Pride merchandise available for longer, if not all year round, so it isn’t treated like a limited edition seasonal item, as this undermines the struggles many LGBTQ+ people face on a regular basis. Obviously, this is a difficult task for companies as, admittedly, they do need to think of profit and what sells as well as supporting the community. However, widening their range of products, and the time available to buy them, makes the action appear more genuine and not just a marketing tactic that uses the month as a way to satisfy and collect more customers.

“The focus of Pride should be on the people, not the product.” Proceeds of the purchase of Pride merchandise from brands and companies that don’t usually sell these items should go to charities that support the LGBTQ+ community, instead of brands searching for the best profit. If a company is selling items for Pride Month for genuine reasons then there should be no issues at all with having some, if not all, of the proceeds from these products going to related causes. This is a real sign of allyship as it actually can benefit people within the group directly, rather than just accepting that Pride exists.

It is obviously a wonderful thing when people and companies not within the community themselves show their support by wearing the rainbow colours. However, there are so many more impactful ways for people to support Pride, including donating to charities and support groups, attending parades and protests, and standing up for LGBTQ+ members and their rights. I think the focus of Pride should be on the people, not the product. There are many ways in which you and I can support the LGBTQ+ community and celebrate Pride Month. A few of my favourite ideas are: • Discovering LGBTQ+ literature, films and TV shows • Attending a Pride parade • Donating to LGBTQ+ organisations • Wearing the colours of different flags each day of the month • Learning the history of Pride (1) https://thetab.com/uk/2021/06/02/ what-is-rainbow-washing-how-to-tell-if-itshappening-to-you-207906

Images: rawpixel.com

before/after pics Print Editor Caitlin Barr analyses the phenomenon of the before and after picture and our tendency to celebrate the physical transformations of others. TW: BODY IMAGE. Whether you’re scrolling through Instagram, trying to navigate a website inundated with ads, or walking past a gym, seeing a before/after pic is basically inevitable. Images of people (usually women) who we’re supposed to understand as being ‘undesirable’, juxtaposed with an ‘after’ picture, in which they’ve been magically transformed to be thinner, less spotty or younger-looking, are everywhere. They could be coming from businesses hoping to sell their wares with a promise that you too will glow up as a result of using them, or people proud of a change their body has been through.

“Intentional weight loss is widely celebrated in our society, despite medical professionals saying that most diets fail to keep the weight off for much longer than a year.” The before/after picture is seen by many as inspirational - why not celebrate a physical change you’ve worked hard towards or paid a lot of money for? However, we need to analyse why exactly we celebrate physical changes, and what this says about our attitude towards people who have more in common with the ‘before’ pictures. An easy example to analyse is the weight loss image, one of the most common categories of before/after pictures. Intentional weight loss is widely celebrated in our society, despite medical professionals saying 10

that most diets fail to keep the weight off for much longer than a year (1). Many people who have lost weight feel incredibly proud of their achievement, and share images either to celebrate or to inspire others who may be on a similar weight loss ‘journey’. Perhaps you yourself have liked images like this, with captions extolling how proud a person is that they ditched their old body and now have a shiny, new, skinnier one. However, as someone who, since about the age of 12, has existed in a body larger than most of my peers, all I see when I see ‘before’ images is someone who looks like me. Someone with a large stomach, wide hips, thick thighs and a round face. Presented on its own, this image is just a picture of a human being. Juxtaposed with a photo taken a year down the line, after which the person has got rid of all of these features, the ones my body holds, it’s made clear – bodies like mine are just waiting to be made desirable. Give it a year, and even people like me can be pretty.

“Bodies like mine are just waiting to be made desirable. Give it a year, and even people like me can be pretty.” (1) https://www.nutritionist-resource.org. uk/blog/2020/10/02/why-diets-dont-work (2) https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200909-why-plastic-surgery-demand-is-booming-amid-lockdown Image: rawpixel.com

“My body has done so many wonderful things – my legs have walked me solo around European cities, my lap has been a cushion for many friends’ heads...” I am a pretty body-positive person; I love my thighs and hips, and try to remind myself that my body has done so many wonderful things – my legs have walked me solo around European cities, my lap has been a cushion for many friends’ heads, my chest is a perfect shelf for just about anything – and yet images like this hurt me. The idea that my body is seen as something inherently in need of fixing is upsetting. It reminds me of times that friends have stood next to me

while changing, bemoaning how ‘fat’ their size 10 bodies are while I inwardly wonder, “if they feel like their skinny body is ugly, how must they view mine?” When we celebrate before and after pictures, we are sending the message that it is an achievement to be thin, or have clear skin, or straight teeth. We are saying that people without these qualities are just waiting to be made better, that their bodies are lacking. Businesses capitalise on these insecurities, flogging detox teas and weight loss plans, creams and even cosmetic surgery. The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons revealed that its doctors were reporting up to a 70% increase in requests for virtual consultations during lockdown, a time when most of us were stuck at home on our phones all day, comparing ourselves to others (2).

“When we celebrate before and after pictures... We are saying that people without these qualities are just waiting to be made better, that their bodies are lacking.” Next time you come across a before/after picture, why not spend some time dissecting why the image on the right is so much better than the first. Has this person become more worth knowing? More kind, or interesting, or fun to be around? Did having spots make them less worthy of being photographed, or celebrated? Of course not. Let’s show ourselves the same love. 11

Coming Out or Boxed In? Deputy Print Editor Daniella Clarke examines the value and the limitations of the coming out narrative in cinema and how it serves LGBTQ+ representation. In her TED Talk, ‘The Danger of a Single Story’, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie states that telling stories is all about power. “Power is the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person”, she says. Narratives that take on power in society — due to who is telling the story and what stories they are allowed to tell — can give a reductive impression of a culture or community. Adichie’s talk sheds light on limiting racial stereotypes, but her statement can also be applied to the ‘coming out’ narrative that dominates LGBTQ+ media.

“Power is the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person.” Stories about queer people, particularly on screen, often centre around the experience of coming out. Films like Love, Simon and But I’m a Cheerleader focus on teenagers coming to terms with their sexuality and eventually opening up to others about it. While this is an important story, and can be a formative event in a young queer person’s life, it becomes a problem when that is the only story LGBTQ+ people get to tell. But surely any representation is good, right? To examine why the coming out narrative can be restrictive, it’s crucial to consider 12

who is telling coming out stories, why they are telling them, and who they are for.

“It becomes a problem when that is the only story LGBTQ+ people get to tell.” The act of coming out doesn’t actually change anything about a queer person’s identity. By this point, they have already come to terms with their sexuality on a personal level, and so the ‘coming out’ conversation is more about helping it make sense to others. It’s about queer people being accepted. It’s about making straight people feel comfortable. It assumes that straight is the norm, and that anything that sits outside of that norm needs to be identified. And yes, straight is the most common and widely accepted sexuality; that fact is impossible for queer media to ignore. It makes sense that storylines about queerness often deal with the experience of navigating a heteronormative world and the desire to be accepted by others. But, in order to be affirming and inclusive, coming out stories need to be presented from an LGBTQ+ perspective. They need to go beyond asking, “do you, as a straight person, allow me to exist?”, and instead ask, “what do queer experiences look like?” Images (L-R): Booksmart, Annapurna Pictures, 2019. Call Me By Your Name, Sony Pictures Classics, 2017.

The response to this latter question is, and should be, varied. As Adichie argues, a community has power when they are able to tell a multitude of stories about their experiences, rather than a definitive one. Call Me By Your Name is a film directed and adapted for the screen by two gay men, and focuses on the formative experience of a gay teenager discovering his sexuality. But rather than prioritising the point of view of his parents or the society he lives in, protagonist Elio is uninhibited by these external factors. His desires are allowed to flourish throughout the film, as the viewer is encouraged to question what this is like for him, rather than whether his existence is valid.

“It is vital to acknowledge that there is no single story when it comes to queerness.” The comedy film Booksmart presents a cast of teenage characters whose sexualities are not defining aspects of their identities. Amy, one of the two female protagonists, is a lesbian, but her sexuality is never questioned by either the characters or the audience.

Her inexperience is crucial to the plot, particularly in an awkward and funny sex scene with another girl. But director Olivia Wilde doesn’t present her as different from any other young person having an intimate experience for the first time.

“In order to resist the dominance of a single story, we should be turning the spotlight on a variety of queer storytellers and illuminating their perspectives.” While I don’t think the coming out narrative should be abandoned entirely, it is vital to acknowledge that there is no single story when it comes to queerness. LGBTQ+ experiences are so varied, and I would love to see stories that explore the lived realities of older queer people, or narratives that focus on characters who are not just white and able-bodied. Adichie’s argument makes it clear that, in order to resist the dominance of a single story, we should be turning the spotlight on a variety of queer storytellers and illuminating their perspectives.

Polaroid illustration: rawpixel.com

reinventing the female star RAZZ writer Bethan Oakley reflects on the pressure put on female celebrities to continually reinvent themselves and transform their star image in order to sustain relevance. “Everyone is a shiny new toy for, like, two years. The female artists have reinvented themselves 20 times more than the male artists. They have to or else you’re out of a job. Constantly having to reinvent, constantly finding new facets of yourself that people find to be shiny.” To me, Taylor Swift’s explanation in her 2020 Miss Americana documentary eloquently depicts the gender division within pop culture and the celebrity world. The music industry appears most critical of female stars compared to other industries, and contains the most famous reinventions. Madonna has long been regarded as the ‘queen of reinvention’, and many female singers base their brand on constant evolution, such as Rihanna, Beyoncé, Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.

“This constant development of their image is a necessity, in order for them not to be forgotten.” Taylor Swift is a prime example of this reinvention, having gone through several ‘eras’ throughout her time in the spotlight. Each so-called ‘era’ has coincided with a new album release, in which she creates a certain style and branding aesthetic that links to the music. This no doubt has contributed to her long-lasting popularity; despite your 14

thoughts or personal views on Swift, no one can deny that she has become one of the most successful female artists of all time, and gains more fans as each era progresses. This constant reinvention demonstrates the talent of female artists to evolve their musical styles whilst remaining popular with large fanbases. However, it seems this constant development of their image is a necessity, in order for them to not be forgotten.

“There is an excessive need for individuality as a female star that is not expected of male artists.” In contrast, male artists like Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendes and John Mayer have achieved similarly long-lasting popularity without the reinvention aspect. It is unusual for a male artist to drastically switch up their brand and they face little criticism for this. This gender difference is also prevalent in girl groups where members are labelled as having a specific personality and ‘character’: for example, in Little Mix and the Spice Girls. On the other hand, boy bands are equally, if not more successful, without this, implying there is an excessive need for individuality as a female star that is not expected of male artists.

Illustration by Bridie Adams

The reinvention of female artists can also be viewed as a process of breaking away from preexisting public perceptions. Seen routinely in the transition from child star to adult star, there is an attempt to reestablish themselves in order to leave their previous status behind. A well known example of this was Miley Cyrus’ transition from Disney star to pop star, which attracted public criticism and shocked many. Ariana Grande and Selena Gomez have gone through similar experiences. Similarly, Beyoncé’s self-titled 2013 album can be viewed as an explicit rejection of her role model status. But, it should be acknowledged that these reinventions can represent female artists embracing their personal evolution, where they are free to reflect this through their achievements and style.

“Female actresses are constantly pressured into taking on drastically different roles in order to ‘prove’ their acting abilities.” Even in other industries such as film and television, female actresses are constantly pressured into taking on drastically different roles in order to ‘prove’ their acting abilities. They are often criticised for “playing the same role” in every film or “playing themselves”, whereas actors like Hugh Grant and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson are praised for playing very similar characters in their body of work. With young new female artists emerging such as Billie Eilish and Olivia Rodrigo, there is already a sense of pressure for reinvention in the media. Billie Eilish recently switched her dark hair with green roots to bleach blonde to fit with her newest album, Hap-

pier Than Ever. As for Olivia Rodrigo, there is a sense of anticipation for her to reinvent herself for her next album, with constant speculation of how she is going to separate herself from her past work in SOUR. This ultimately represents the music industry’s more intense criticism of young female artists.

“This constant reinvention should not have to be essential for female celebrities to stay relevant, but it currently seems necessary, especially considering society’s shortening attention span.” This constant reinvention should not have to be essential for female celebrities to stay relevant, but it currently seems necessary, especially considering society’s shortening attention span. Of course, some female artists thrive in reinvention and it is something that can be embraced, an opportunity to evolve as a creative and to reflect personal growth. However this is no doubt tiring, something conveyed through Swift’s opinion on the topic in her documentary. Perhaps criticism is inevitable in the music industry and wider society, but reinvention can be viewed as an empowering process for many female artists as well.

“Perhaps criticism is inevitable in the music industry and wider society, but reinvention can be viewed as an empowering process for many female artists as well.”

hidden pride gems Four RAZZ writers share film, book, TV and music recommendations with LGBTQ+ representation that may have slipped under the radar.

film: my first summer When it comes to recommendations during Pride Month, the same queer films are mentioned over and over again. Everyone always circles back to the ‘classic’ that is Brokeback Mountain, which is a great film but predictably tragic. If you’re looking for a happier alternative, I’d suggest God’s Own Country, if you don’t mind trading gay cowboys for gay sheep farmers. I can’t have a conversation about queer cinema without someone asking me if I’ve seen Call Me By Your Name (I’m a pretentious film student with a love for Sufjan Stevens and being sad; of course I’ve seen Call Me By Your Name). It’s a gorgeous film but given the disturbing allegations against Armie Hammer (1) and the controversial age difference between Oliver and Elio, it just adds to the oversaturation of problematic queer films. Sapphic films are rarely recommended, but when they are, it’s always Blue is the Warmest Colour – arguably the most offensive lesbian movie ever made. If you haven’t seen it, please continue to live in blissful ignorance. If you’re looking for an underrated queer film to watch this month that has a similar atmosphere to Call Me By Your Name (I’m talking summer romances and bicycle rides) but without the age difference, unhappy ending, and behind-the-scenes drama, then look no further. If ‘seven’ is your favourite Taylor Swift track on folklore then I’m dedicating this recommendation specifically to you. My First Summer is a tender and heartfelt story of queer first love and coming-of-age. After her mother’s suicide, 16-year-old Claudia hides from the world in her remote rural home. When Grace, a strange girl with big earrings and bright clothes, stumbles into her garden, the two girls develop a tentative romance. During a sun-soaked Australian summer, Claudia and Grace trade forehead kisses and candy necklaces. Homophobia is pretty much non-existent, offering viewers a much-needed break from the excessive amount of queer suffering depicted onscreen. A sweet and sensitive Sapphic love story, My First Summer will break your heart and then Sellotape it back together again in only 75 minutes. Francesca Sylph, Creative Director 18

book: variations by juliet jacques In the spirit of this edition’s focus on transformation, I want to draw attention to Variations by Juliet Jacques. As a series of short stories, I feel like it is a brilliant book to get back into reading (and out of the essay-inflicted reading slump) due to being able to dip in and out of it. Yet I can almost guarantee that once begun, the compulsion to keep reading will be unavoidable. The stories are all centred around the British trans experience, but take place across various time periods and are written in various forms such as diary entries, scripts, and letters. Yet they are united by one key element: whilst the narratives Jacques builds are mostly fictional, they are all based on real life archival information, and it is this which makes them so important. The historicising of identity and ‘we have always existed’ arguments are integral to any marginalised community and, in the face of persistent and systemic transphobia, the tenderness, strength, and struggles presented in this book provide solace and solidarity. Whilst there is evidence of the difficulty and oppression trans people have faced, sometimes illustrating how little progress has been made in the hundred or so years that the stories cover, there is also love — something we as trans people are often told that we cannot have. The short story format also means that the number of different experiences and ways of identifying are diverse. I found this to be eye-opening, both to the historical challenges faced by trans people, and to those faced by other members of my community that I was yet to encounter — something aided by Jacques’ ease with confronting the taboo. Ultimately, this is a transformative piece of writing which should be on everyone’s summer reading list, regardless of identity. Rei Henfield Image: My First Summer, Noise & Light, 2020. Polaroid illustration: rawpixel.com Trans flag: pixabay.com Rainbow illustration: rawpixel.com (1) https://www.vox.com/culture/22338844/ armie-hammer-rape-accusation-effie-cannibalism-explained

tv: sugar rush Opening with a teen girl masturbating with her electric toothbrush, 2005’s Sugar Rush was hugely ahead of its time. Witty and outspoken, it refuses to follow any of the rules and shows you just how out of control your life can feel when you’re fifteen and tackling the world of sexuality, school and family drama. The show’s protagonist, Kim, is a lesbian who is completely obsessed with her straight best friend, Sugar. Set in Brighton, the first series follows her dealing with a dysfunctional family whilst also coming to terms with her sexuality, alongside a backdrop of queer side characters, including the two dads of a young Andrew Garfield who plays their nerdy, straight son, obsessed with Kim. The story is messy and dramatic and frequently explicit, and it is ultimately a show about friendship, love and sex. Over the course of its two seasons, Sugar Rush covers everything from parental separation to BDSM with a cast of complex and often dislikeable characters who you still somehow end up rooting for. The second series, my personal favourite, follows Kim as she enters the world of queer dating in Brighton, realising that dating girls comes with all the same obstacles as straight relationships. Its portrayal of LGBTQ+ love and desire is painfully and comedically accurate, catering to a queer audience in its authenticity. Whilst it is now showing its age, Sugar Rush will always have a place in my heart as one of the shows that helped me come to terms with my own sexuality when I also was a young, closeted gay teen in love with my best friend. This kind of representation is still few and far between and for someone to be making this over 15 years ago is incredible. And the best part? You can still watch it for free on All4. Katya Green

music: free by cat burns Discovering this refreshingly honest LGBTQ+ song was an eerie experience: it felt as though the singer was literally describing my own coming out experience, word for word. ‘Free’ by Cat Burns, a 23 year old singer-songwriter from Streatham, describes the process of coming out to your friends and family. It is reflective of her own experience as a queer person of colour. From the racing, anxious thoughts before, to their reaction, to the relief of being ‘free’ afterwards and the newfound confidence that comes with being ‘out’. In her song, Burns sings of her fear that “they [her friends and family] might not see [her] the same”, which is an honest and, sadly, relatable fear for many people in the LGBTQ+ community. The juxtaposition between the slow verses where she describes the anxiety and nerves before coming out and the joyous, upbeat chorus, reflects the change in yourself once you have come out. The quietly self-confident lyric “I know just who I am” reassures listeners; it encourages them to believe in themselves and be proud of their identity, no matter what their friends or family might think. Amazingly, the extremely candid song was written by Burns in only an hour. In an interview with NME, she said, “I just wanted to help other people by being so honest about my own experiences”. She revealed how she has had numerous heartfelt messages from fans showing appreciation for the song, saying it has helped them to feel more comfortable in their queer identity. It is hard to truly understand something until you have gone through it yourself, and it is important to acknowledge that no two people’s coming out stories are the same, but I believe that ‘Free’ provides some good understanding for allies to better appreciate the experience of their LGBTQ+ friends. Rachel McEwan

Image: Sugar Rush, Shine TV, 2005. Rainbow illustration: rawpixel.com.

self-worth, confidence and transformations RAZZ writer M Shelton writes a personal piece about her transformative journey surrounding body image and self-confidence. TW: BODY IMAGE. At fourteen, I dreamed of transforming into a better version of myself. If I became pretty, thin, popular and cool, then I could finally be happy. So, I wouldn’t leave the house without a full face of makeup and perfectly curled hair. I developed an unhealthy relationship with food in my efforts to lose weight, and I repressed parts of myself that I feared being judged for. But the more ‘progress’ I made, the more inadequate I felt, and my mental health spiralled downwards. Eight years on, I have found that the change I needed was not to become a different person, but to stop hating the person that I am.

“The change I needed was not to become a different person, but to stop hating the person that I am.” When I became ill during my GCSE exams, I stopped having the time or energy to do my makeup every day. At first, I felt constantly anxious and inferior, but slowly I realised that the world hadn’t changed. The more I did it, the less it bothered me, and I eventually became comfortable with being seen in my natural state. Later, my long hair started to annoy me, and I stepped further outside my comfort zone by shaving my head. After22

wards, I loved how free and light my head felt, and I was completely released from the routine of hair styling and stress that most women go through. These changes took me further away from what I thought I needed to be, and yet they each brought me more happiness and confidence. When I mention shaving my head, I often hear, “I could never do that, I’d feel too exposed”. But I learned that removing your armour is liberating, because once you can’t hide behind something, you become able to exist without it. These experiences led me to question things I believed about myself and other people. I realised how harshly I had treated myself and began to correct my negative self-talk as if parenting a child — with patience, forgiveness, encouragement and gentle firmness. If my brain says, “you’re so stupid”, I internally respond with, “we don’t talk to people like that, it’s okay to make mistakes”.

“Removing your armour is liberating, because once you can’t hide behind something, you become able to exist without it.” Image: rawpixel.com

It was strange and difficult at first, but my mind is now a space in which I am instinctively on my own side. I’d never tell my friends that they’re ugly or worthless, so why did I say it to myself for so long? Instead of judging anyone for insignificant factors such as their appearance, I try to focus on more important characteristics such as kindness, compassion and generosity. Rather than trying to become more beautiful or liked, I am concentrating on growing and emulating these values, without using selfhate or constant criticism to force change.

“My body is my own, and it exists to allow me to experience the world.” It now seems crazy to me that our social hierarchy evaluates people based on how their fat cells are distributed, or how much melanin they produce. I want to unlearn the idea that I would be ‘better’ if parts of my body looked different. My stomach’s purpose is to hold my organs and a store of energy – so why am I told that a flatter stomach would be superior? Why was I so ashamed of my non-flat stomach that I had to try and hide it? Learning about systems such as racism and ableism, and how capitalism feeds on self-hatred, helps me to understand that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with me. My body is my own, and it exists to allow me to experience the world. My new motto is “it’s about how I feel, not how I look”, and I refuse to let a fear of looking silly or unattractive hold me back. I have also accepted that some people just aren’t going to like me. Some people find me annoying or boring, but that simply means they aren’t the right people for me. As long as I am actively trying to live up to my moral ideals, other people’s perceptions of me are not my business, nor are they my problem. People worth being around will stick by me even if I wear ugly outfits or like

things that are geeky. I don’t claim to know the meaning of life, but I am sure that it’s not about looking good or being seen as cool.

“I would rather find contentment in an authentic existence than spend my whole life chasing something that I suspect is unattainable.” Disentangling my sense of self-worth from how well I fit societal beauty standards and expectations is an ongoing process, but I know that I am on the right path to being at peace with myself. Ultimately, I would rather find contentment in an authentic existence than spend my whole life chasing something that I suspect is unattainable. I want to love being myself, experience life, and make decisions based on what brings me joy and fulfilment. I’m proud to now believe that I have real worth despite my insecurities, and that I am a good person because of the choices I make.

Career Anxiety RAZZ writer Serena Watkins considers how we should transform our mindset when it comes to the prospect of our future careers.

Choosing a career is frequently the cause of much anxiety and trepidation. It is often seen as a one-time decision, constant and fixed. However, this focus needs to be transformed and rethought as an ongoing process, which could change many times in one’s lifetime. As children we are trained to think about the future as if it is an endpoint to work towards - every decision, movement and choice is seen to impact our future selves. We are encouraged to partake in activities and hobbies to add them to our CV, rather than just focusing on cultivating passions and interests for ourselves. Everyone remembers the Duke of Edinburgh excursion - a forced, long, muddy walk in the pouring rain, most likely with people you have never met, carrying a bag heavier than your own bodyweight. Sounds great, right?

“Education should inspire creativity and originality, not confine people to boxes.” This mindset is dangerous as it conditions young people to make choices based on what is seen by others to be beneficial, e.g. what will help them progress in a future career. It is easy to get so lost in this headspace that you forget to live in the moment and use this time to explore lots of different aspects of your personality. Education should inspire creativity and originality, not confine people to boxes.

When I was younger I always thought that education led to a set career - for example, you study law to become a lawyer and medicine to become a doctor. I just assumed I would do a law degree and never questioned it or considered anything else. However, after going to a few talks at college and university open days, I couldn’t see myself studying law for three years, and decided to take a subject I loved studying instead: English Literature. I realised law was not the right fit for me so I declined all my university offers and decided to take a year out. This was quite a scary thing for me as I always thought I would go straight to university and had not planned to take a gap year.

“Life is too short to be narrow minded and closed off to a myriad of opportunities.” It is only recently, after being at university for two years, that I have realised there are so many other options available and that your career choice should never define you. Your late teens and twenties should be a time to experiment and travel, not to worry about having a life plan that you can report back to friends and family. Life is too short to be narrow minded and closed off to a myriad of opportunities. I have learnt in my two years at university to take every day as it comes and appreciate these years, as they will pass by in an instant. I am excited to go into third year with this new, transformed mindset - focusing solely on enjoying university and making the most of these turbulent yet amazing years.

mental health habits Three RAZZ writers share tips and tricks that have helped to improve and transform the quality of their mental health.

early morning walks Sleep and early morning routines are often very challenging for people with ADHD. Trying to relax enough to drift off is hindered by our bodies’ constant need to fidget, bursts of energy and racing thoughts. I often find myself waking up exhausted, pressing snooze on multiple alarms and then scrolling on Instagram or Facebook and watching countless TikToks for hours. This social media usage bottles up our energy and weakens our motivation, an unhealthy mood that we find very hard to dispel. Early morning walks, preferably without coffee, are a perfect remedy to these hours on social media. They refreshingly activate our bodies’ systems, releasing pent up energy and providing an early sense of achievement. By using headphones to listen to your favourite playlist or audiobook you provide yourself the space to relax, reducing inattentiveness and hyperactivity later in the day - a necessary release of tension that should stop you from feeling so constricted when trying to eat breakfast. To get out of bed ready for this walk, place your phone in the opposite corner of your room so you actively have to get out of bed and walk to turn it off. This will reduce the risk of pressing snooze on the alarm and distract you with a physical task rather than locking yourself in a social media battle.

Image: rawpixel.com

Meg Hatfield, Disability Officer

reading It’s fair to say that after years of studying and citing books at both school and university, I began to forget the value of reading for pleasure. In all honesty, it started to feel like a bit of a chore, taking me back to stressful exam periods when, quite frankly, the only thing I wanted to do with books was set them on fire… Having said this, my opinion of reading has since changed dramatically - especially over the past year. Living abroad has had its fair share of ups and downs, so books have acted as a comfort blanket to help me through periods of uncertainty and, evidently, loneliness. I would say that there have been two main ways in which reading has helped to support my mental health while abroad: firstly, by allowing me to escape reality and, conversely, by encouraging me to face it. Fiction books give us the opportunity to gently tuck away real life into our unconscious, albeit briefly, by transporting us to a different city, country, or even planet through its pages. In my case, I have recently been devouring the renowned novel, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, which, I must say, definitely lives up to the hype. Being able to come home after a day at university, no matter how stressful, and return to the sunlit streets of Hollywood, exactly where I left off, has offered me a much-needed sense of structure and solace that helps me tackle my anxiety each day. However, there are days when I prefer to read something that validates and acknowledges my struggle with mental wellbeing, such as Jenny Lawson’s autobiography Furiously Happy. When not describing her close friendship with a taxidermy racoon, Lawson covers her experiences of living with mental illness, exhibiting the perfect blend of humour and blunt, somewhat shocking, truthfulness. All in all, not only does reading force me to take time away from my phone, but it also encourages me to be more mindful in general, inspiring me to dedicate some time each day to myself - an important habit to adopt as I transition between the chapters of my own life. Emily Cooper

Images: rawpixel.com

running In April 2022, I decided to start a running program with my boyfriend: Couch to 5K. It is an app accessible for free in the UK that guides you from being a ‘couch potato’ to being able to run for 30 minutes straight. We had attempted it last year but started too late and didn’t make it past week two of training, as we found every excuse, which made us unable to follow the training successfully. This year we decided it had to be different and motivated each other to run, finally starting the program with purpose. Running became part of our routine and something we really bonded over. We started bringing out our dog with us and enjoying our sweaty runs under the sun. Completing each training day in the app feels like achieving a huge milestone, allowing us to become stronger together. Having a running buddy is key to motivating me to finish the program, because by refusing to run I am not only letting myself down, but also someone else that started this journey with me, and who started to enjoy running thanks to the program. Furthermore, this was a great way to make sure I kept exercising while working on my deadlines, since the academic pressure caused me to stop every other form of workout. Overall, by starting this running program, I started enjoying the beauty of exploring new places on foot while listening to music or a podcast, de-stressing and making sure that I was getting half an hour of sport three times a week. Running gave me confidence and strength, bringing me outside on beautiful spring days that I would ordinarily have spent in my room. I highly recommend Couch to 5K to anyone interested in building a solid workout routine, testing their limits and realising that surpassing them is completely possible. Lisa Greghi

How a Year Abroad Can Transform RAZZ writer Maggie John describes how her year abroad has proved a transformative experience, in both an academic and a personal sense. I was really struggling with how to start this article and I’ve gone back and forth several times. Where do you even begin, without sounding like the really annoying “did you know I’ve been on a year abroad” kind of girl? Then, I realised the most important thing I’ve learnt this year is that everything happens for a reason. This time last year I was holding onto the idea that I was going to spend my year abroad working for a newspaper in Spain. Although it was looking more and more unlikely, I was reluctant to give it up. What could be more beneficial to an aspiring journalist than fifteen months worth of

journalism experience? But now, almost a year on, I’m so glad things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to. After months of uncertainty and rejection, I found a family to au pair for and got my place in Alcalá within a few weeks. Although we’re getting closer and closer to the end, I still have an internship in Paris left, but I’m sure that will change me in some way, too. Thanks to Brexit, I am part of the last cohort of British students to be part of Erasmus. For those who don’t know, Erasmus is a programme which provides free movement and education between registered universities. Although years abroad will continue and the Government has introduced The Turing Scheme to fund students who go abroad, British students will no longer be entitled to Erasmus funding and the benefits which come with it.

I think a lot of people who are on their year abroad or a placement year can vouch for the fact that they didn’t realise how much they needed a year out until they found themselves on one. When I got on the Eurostar to Paris or when I landed in Madrid, it was the first time in my life that I really didn’t know what to expect. And it is hard. As sunny and funny as everyone’s Instagram posts are, there are lots of low points too, when all you want to do is pack up your suitcase and get on the next plane home. But you have to put yourself out there, because you will reap the rewards. When I go back to Exeter, I know I will be much more confident academically. It will be much easier to stand up in front of a class and give a presentation in English than it is to stand up in front of thirty Spanish students and talk about a politician I’ve never Illustration by Nicole Tonner

heard of. I also know I have gained a lot of confidence in general. That’s not to say it doesn’t fluctuate, but in general I’ve learnt that it’s okay to be yourself and people who don’t like you because of it are irrelevant and not worth your energy. I’ve been so lucky this year to have travelled a lot, and I’ve been able to meet different people from different places and hear different stories. The more you expose yourself to differences, the more you’re going to change. So, I guess all that’s left to say is, it’s so easy to stay in our comfortable bubbles, or to hop from our school bubble to our university bubble, without properly bursting them. But in order to change, that bubble has to burst. I’m happier and more confident than I’ve ever been and that’s for one reason – Erasmus. And how lucky am I, to be part of the last cohort of British students to do so?

cosmetic surgery: loaded or liberated? Welfare Officer Bridie Adams examines whether the choice to go under the knife to transform your appearance is one of freedom or insecurity. TW: BODY IMAGE. Above all else, the desire to hide starts with the idea that something is wrong with us we’re embarrassing, irritating, dull, foolish, unskilful or any of a million other ‘not-goodenough’ traits. There is no distinct cause of self-doubt: rather, there are numerous factors. A lack of confidence might stem from a shocking event, a traumatic situation, or a loss, but it can also be associated with one’s surroundings, as unpredictability or distress in everyday life can cause worry and insecurity.

“Of course, the truth is, you cannot have ‘too much’ or ‘too little’ of anything. All bodies are beautiful bodies, and are all worthy of self-love.” Some of our insecurities are rooted in physical aspects of our bodies instead of personality traits, and a tendency to focus on what we have too much or too little of - you might think you have too much tummy and too little bum, for instance, or too much thigh and too little boob. Of course, the truth is, you cannot have ‘too much’ or ‘too little’ of anything. All bodies are beautiful bodies, and are all worthy of self-love - but this can sometimes be incredibly hard to recognise, or to genuinely believe about yourself. Humans are naturally self-critical

creatures, and we so often put ourselves down instead of lifting ourselves up.

“Often, it is a sense of physical insecurity, of wanting to hide, that can lead to a desire to get cosmetic surgery.” Feelings about our physical attractiveness and, by extension, our self-esteem, can be different depending on whether we were born with visual differences, or have experienced a change in looks later on, in adulthood. The kind of life you have had, previous traumas, or current feelings of rejection can all make you feel insecure. It’s likely that most people have something they wish they could change about themselves; it’s totally normal. Often, it is a sense of physical insecurity, of wanting to hide, that can lead to a desire to get cosmetic surgery. Some celebrities acknowledge this directly: Love Island’s Faye Winter famously recounted how she used to be so unhappy with the size of her breasts that her parents paid for an augmentation for her 18th birthday (1). At first glance, we might hear Faye’s story and consider it one of empowerment, of reclamation - but maybe we need to take a step back and think about the truth behind this so-called liberation.

Image: rawpixel.com

Reconstructive plastic surgery gives treatment to parts of the body affected aesthetically or functionally by infection, tumours, illness, birth defects, developmental abnormalities or injury, whilst on the other side of the coin, cosmetic plastic surgery adds to or minimises parts of the body, with the aim to ‘improve’ a person’s looks, self-respect and morale.

“48.5% reported being influenced by social media to consider surgery and 51.4% follow plastic surgeons on social media.” Reconstructive plastic surgery is usually only performed out of medical necessity, but what is influencing people to choose to undergo cosmetic surgical procedures for the sake of beauty alone?

In a study by Khalid Arab et al. involving 816 people, 48.5% reported being influenced by social media to consider surgery and 51.4% follow plastic surgeons on social media (2). The participants also reported the time they spent on socials per day, with the most common number of hours being 5. Other published research has reported that cosmetic surgery patients could experience more pleasure in life and an inflated sense of gratification, and have shown that people report greater satisfaction with the body part they had surgery on (3). However, results are varied on whether plastic surgery boosts quality of life and social relationships in the long term.

“Maybe we need to take a step back and think about the truth behind this so-called liberation.” 31

“Opting to have plastic surgery done can be one of the most happy and optimistic choices a person will ever make.” Whilst reconstructive plastic surgery can be advantageous to your physical health, arguably cosmetic surgery can transform your self-esteem. Especially nowadays, procedures are safer than ever, recovery time is much improved, and it’s easier to know what to expect - but some argue that you can overdo it.

“We have normalised cosmetic surgery so much that it sometimes feels as though it has taken over the conversation of women’s empowerment almost entirely.” Moral issues in cosmetic surgery can conflict with ethical principles too. In medical ethics, patients have to give permission to undertake any surgery. Assuming the informed consent process is complete, the individual has the right to decide whether or not they want to undertake a surgery. Although cosmetic surgery passes this test, as plastic surgeons should always ask patients for consent, it does raise ethical questions as it is seen as an unnecessary procedure. One of the reasons plastic surgery should be normalised is because it is such an individual decision. Opting to have plastic surgery done can be one of the most happy and optimistic choices a person will ever make, and unfortunately, judgement from others can make this choice feel like something to conceal or regret. However, we have normalised cosmetic surgery so much that it sometimes feels as though it has taken over the conversation 32

of women’s empowerment almost entirely. Discussions of feminism should be intersectional, including issues like the gender pay gap, abortion, period poverty, sexual violence and everyday misogyny. Should we be letting a subject that seems somewhat frivolous in comparison to topics such as these take up so much space in popular discussion?

“Should we be letting a subject that seems somewhat frivolous in comparison to topics such as these take up so much space in popular discussion?” It’s difficult to choose a side in this debate, and the answer is certainly not black and white. But the ethics of plastic surgery should be weighed up considerably, taking into account the extortionate prices of the surgery and the strategy of marketing aesthetic surgery. Of course, regardless of whether you feel that plastic surgery is liberating or loaded, it is important to respect the bodily autonomy of others and their decisions.

“Regardless of whether you feel that plastic surgery is liberating or loaded, it is important to respect the bodily autonomy of others and their decisions.” (1) https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/ article-9763897/amp/Love-Islands-FayeWinter-gifted-boob-job-18th-birthdayMUM-DAD.html (2) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6756652/ (3) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3513261/

transform playlist RAZZ writer Tabby Hannam curates a playlist based on the theme TRANSFORM and her own transformative moments. Transformations are rarely the epiphanic moments immortalised on TV. Every day we are incrementally evolving. From the unexpected sunshine which floods in through the window, to the spontaneous conversations with strangers whilst waiting in queues, our lives are forever gently flowing. Let’s Fall in Love for the Night - FINNEAS This is for the liminal, dusky moments between daylight and nighttime, when the world grows quiet. High School - Chloe Lilac Chloe Lilac sings about outgrowing your past and why it’s sometimes important to move on. This Love (Taylor’s Version) - Taylor Swift No one does contemplation like Taylor Swift. A reminder that you can always love again, and that sometimes losing a relationship gives you back some of your old self. Mirror Talk - Griff For that moment when you’re staring at yourself in the mirror at a party, and all you’re thinking about is what brought you here. It doesn’t matter that there’s a queue of people waiting outside for you to finish in the bathroom. Addicted - Jorja Smith A love letter to my year abroad; all those days dancing to this song with my best friends transformed my life. 8TEEN - Khalid Even though we all grow older, there are some songs that will transport you right back to your last few days at sixth form once exams were over. Ain’t Together - King Princess For when it feels like the friendship has subtly shifted into more but neither of you are speaking about it. What Do You Like In Me - Nasty Cherry Comforting and familiar with both pop and grunge, this song captures ambivalence; your feelings are on the move. 33

Green Grass - Ellie Dixon An anthem which playfully asks us to soul-search - after all, the “grass is always greener where you water it.” Hair Tie - SKYLAR Sassy, bubbly and undeniably candid, this song is the ultimate tune to walk into town to; listening to this at full volume is an instant mood boost. As It Was - Harry Styles Simultaneously upbeat and heartbreaking, this song captures the moment when you suddenly realise how much you’ve changed. The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes With a riff to die for, this song is first on my cooking playlist. I’ve always thought that baking is a gloriously mundane transformation. It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You) - The 1975 A classic, this was the song that made me fall in love with indie music. This can often be found on repeat during the early summer. Cate’s Brother - Maisie Peters A song that sounds like it’s straight out of a 2000s chick flick, ‘Cate’s Brother’ is about new experiences and blossoming relationships.

Image: rawpixel.com

Olivia - One Direction Everyone wants to be, but no one knows, Olivia. She’s a summer feeling, a moment that you want to capture. Is she close enough to touch or just out of reach?

creative poetry Three RAZZ writers share original poetry, inspired by the theme TRANSFORM.

joined-up I drew a cartoon of your face. Made your eyes so small and lips a line Aligned to the curve of your jaw In a cursive form Cursed smirk lined my favourite face Which favoured staring And starting to make me say something Some small thing like, ‘I like you’ Now it hangs on my wall Joined-up lines begin to crawl Out of the edging curls Stretching all out and swirls Criss-crossing to-and-fro Finally, one year, I’ll look at this personal brand of wallpaper that only makes sense from a distance.

Illustrations by Faith Dale-Hughes

Faith Dale-Hughes

transfigure, transform, transcend Transfigure Transform Transcend am i to remain anchored to this ageing state grounded in stagnant complacency floating in a womb that i wont leave wrapped tight in white warm sheets Transfigure Transform Transcend ignorance is bliss though now reaching its expiration date i find myself lost staring at a void which was once full so now i find i eat from trees of forbidden fruit squinting, hoping it gives me scope blind to seeds of opportunity i plough Transfigure Transform Transcend those who leave are here to remind you that all you have is yourself i’m learning to be by myself grow by myself be grateful by myself wondering am i really so capable by myself? so i ponder on this pebbled path feeling the sharp and smooth juxtaposition of this stance swapping the weight on each leg i decide which step to take are you ready for your fate? Yasmin Gooch 36

gravestones of the coastline (happy erosion) chewed on pointed teeth in an unquiet nature, they wail and I smile back, that’s the truth of it. To be skinned by a fanged air, empty stomach wine feeling I am proud of this winter. Thick hot throats after three miles, breath clot conversations before we stop trying Such a sacred pocket of world; no words. Type find Turner—he comes the closest, turning Umber into air. I never understood the need to reach, to tower over, as if feeble bones held the weight to cower, this land would never. Human hearts are their manure, remember this.

Image: rawpixel.com

The halfway stop humbles better, richer, coming, going why stare? scribble yourself in— blow-dry their watercolours, make horizons muddy at the edges. Cushioning wet cliffs—the breaker of winds, Against them I take five. Green patchwork above with a stitched in sungod bless the eye, for they are all true, break blue/green glazing and out she goes. Unpurposed, total and tasting ether, sucking teeth it pulls me through. And I am everywhere. Mia Roe

The Ventriloquist: a Passenger Inside My Head RAZZ Disability Officer Meg Hatfield writes a moving short story about her experience with tics. Echo is my twin. Just like twins I sometimes have an idea of what she is thinking before she says it – Cryptophasia (secret speech) – although this happens very rarely. Unlike a normal twin, she is without form, without substance… like a parasite, two of us in the same body. There is me… and then there is my little Echo. She grasps control over my mouth and pulls my strings to move my joints. The repetitive pop… shake of the head… flip of the bird while I’m trying my best to comfort my friend. The incessant mood swings; ‘ouch it’s hot’ (my friend)- like you!! (HER reply) Beansssssss!!! Weeeeeeeeee!!! Practically perfect in every way (Mary Poppins imitation) You’re a wizard Harry (said in an Irish accent – no idea why) TO F*ck off C*nt B*tch D*ck W*nker There is a myriad of these curses that she force-feeds my mouth. She is my Geppetto, my ventriloquist, sending impulses through my body like ivy, every muscle standing attention to her command. The urge is like a pinprick. She prods me, sending shivers up my spine, words forming in my head, circling it, faster and faster, and then POP, out it comes. I can sometimes suppress her, a feeling best likened to an itch. It is somewhere on your arm, not that noticeable at first, but gradually the area grows, the skin smarting, you desperately want to rub it but your hands are tied, you just have to sit there watching. The only relief in the end is to fulfil the urge and scratch. Echo’s phonic symptoms have a capacity to harm, causing undesirable attention, confusion and embarrassment. Sitting in a lecture hall, where silence is necessary, it will be Echo’s voice that disturbs the peace. Trying to hold in a secret, it will be Echo who tells no lies. I can’t imagine playing Hide and Seek would be particularly effective. Fitting in is not a luxury that I can always afford. 38

Echo leaves marks on my body incessantly to remind others of her presence - a face slap or the scar on my hand from her scratching me raw. She attacks me, smothering my senses, muscles spasming, like a seizure. I lose control, my arms and legs hit out, knocking into the wall and my flatmates as they hold me down. She is like a mirror, involuntarily repeating someone’s movements. Harmless imitation that has fallen victim to abusive manipulation – a former friend tried to make my Echo do the Nazi salute. Some friends have looked at me with pity when they have seen the bruises, wishing she had never found me. There is no medicine to remove Echo, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to now - after one year and seven months I have grown to find comfort in her presence. She has latched onto my humour, unlocking the self-made cage I had placed it in. Once I was too afraid to make jokes, thinking the audience would judge me. Now if I hold back, she says the words for me. She makes people laugh. Why be afraid to say what I want, when sometimes I can’t control what my mouth says or the reaction of those around me? For all her faults Echo has given me laughter, confidence, and most of all a difference, something that makes me stand out. Echo is ever-present. My constant companion. Tyrant. Friend. Only sleep derails her efforts. I suppose that’s the funny truth about an echo…my Echo…if I sleep, she will too. Since the first lockdown Echo has become the twin of hundreds of young women worldwide, a surge described as an ‘explosion’ by psychologists. Our stories all share a similar start, but we are not just a statistic, we have a voice that should be heard. Echo makes us different, but she doesn’t define us. People may stare or laugh, or even think you’re faking. You don’t owe them an explanation: stand your ground, she is a part of you but you are still your own person. Do not allow Echo to take over your personality. Learn to love her. You never know - she may teach you how to truly be yourself.

Artwork by Echo (Trying not to shout “Beans” in the Library)

How COVID Transformed the University Experience RAZZ writer Poppy Pearce discusses how working remotely has impacted and transformed the university experience and what has been gained from this transition. When I started at Exeter University in September 2019, I could not have imagined the impact that an alleged bat 5,661 miles away would have on my university experience. During my second term, on 24th of January 2020, we were sent an email from the University administration. The email read as such: “As you may be aware, cases of Novel Coronavirus, which is a serious respiratory infection, have been detected in China. Public Health England (PHE) has assessed the current risk to the UK as low.” Less than two months later, on 16th of March, another email was sent: “We advise you to make plans to go home over the next few days if you are able to do so. We will move to online teaching from Monday 23rd March. Following the Government advice, we are now cancelling all University events, and the sports facilities on all our campuses will also be closed.” 40

The pandemic forced an instant full lockdown upon all institutions in an effort to maintain social distancing. This dramatic and unprecedented advancement had sudden effects on learning, the student experience and student mental health.

“This dramatic and unprecedented advancement had sudden effects on learning, the student experience and student mental health.” Online learning, in the form of pre-recorded lectures and virtual seminars watched on a desk in our bedrooms, came with its many shortcomings. The lack of structure and oversight, combined with the ease of clicking ‘leave’ or ‘mute’, tempted even those with the strictest self-discipline. For those with bad internet connection, limited access to a computer or no space to work from home, the situation was even worse, exacerbating existing inequalities.

However, many found numerous benefits to online learning. It is more accessible for those who have various disabilities, those with caring duties, those who struggle with their mental health, those with a long commute, and those who just can’t muster up the energy to walk to their lecture hall that day.

“An Office for National Statistics survey in early 2021 found that younger adults and women were more likely to experience some form of depression.”

Image: rawpixel.com

Yet, there is no denying that remote learning during lockdowns was lonely. An Office for National Statistics survey in early 2021 found that younger adults and women were more likely to experience some form of depression, with 43% of women and 26% of men between the age of 16-29 found to be experiencing depressive symptoms (1). The relocation of society socials from cafes, pubs, parks, beaches and sports halls to Zoom calls was unfamiliar and a lot less fun, adding to this sense of isolation.

But, it wasn’t all bad! Remote learning led students to act creatively and with ingenuity. Many new interests were investigated, skills were developed and hobbies were explored. Apps such as Houseparty and TikTok connected distant friends from all corners of the globe, and though times were bleak, fun was unearthed through these technologies. A study in 2021 by the University of Barcelona concluded that the difficulties faced by university students were largely met with determination and invention. Students have gained positive strategies for readaptation and collaboration with other colleagues. Although we have now seen the end of the UK’s COVID-19 restrictions, the effects of the pandemic on higher education are still visible. With blended learning a new part of the academic university experience, it is doubtful that higher education will ever be the same as it was pre-pandemic. (1) https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/ coronavirusanddepressioninadultsgreatbritain/januarytomarch2021?fbclid=IwAR1_epUCEKWs40h8idQWaapnLZwfDF-PN53bxAD0PNHiMDPYyu_Wx1K01_w

Dressing For Me RAZZ writer Rei Henfield discusses how personal style helps express gender identity. TW: BODY DYSMORPHIA. As a trans person, clothes can be stressful. Navigating the path between genuine expression and wearing what you know will ensure ‘passing’ or safety can sometimes feel impossible. I feel like every trans person will understand the urge sometimes to hide in formless baggy dysphoria hoodies and seemingly endless layers. Yet with summer coming up, this is getting increasingly difficult as temperatures rise and these layers, along with things like binding, are getting increasingly less comfortable.

“As a trans person, clothes can be stressful. Navigating the path between genuine expression and wearing what you know will ensure ‘passing’ or safety can sometimes feel impossible.” I’ve always been a little bit gender non-conforming, and my clothes have always reflected that. In primary school I would bounce between dresses and oversized dungarees, going with whatever fit my mood. But as I became increasingly aware that this gender non-conformity meant something more, and became more in touch with my trans identity, there was a push to conform to more traditionally masculine styles. No one would take my identity seriously, I thought, if I still wore jewellery and nail polish, or bought things from what is seen to be the ‘women’s section’. I still felt this pressure of clothes as a tool for passing when I came to uni. It was the first place I had been where people didn’t know 42

my deadname or who I had been before socially transitioning. Whilst I am not stealthy, part of me felt, especially around the very binary examples of cis masculinity that existed around me in halls, that I had to do this for them to take me seriously as who I was. It was the first lockdown when this began to change.

“Being at home... allowed me to experiment with clothes that I wanted to wear for me; to wear what I wanted to without having to really think about how it impacted how people were reading my gender identity.” Being at home, along with the extra money provided by a student loan that was not being spent at The Imperial allowed me to experiment with clothes that I wanted to wear for me; to wear what I wanted to without having to really think about how it impacted how people were reading my gender identity. The fun of painting my nails, wearing a little highlighter, and floaty 70s shirts with big sleeves outweighed the being misgendered by people whose opinions about myself I really didn’t care about.

“The fun of painting my nails, wearing a little highlighter, and floaty 70s shirts with big sleeves outweighed the being misgendered by people whose opinions about myself I really didn’t care about.”

Model: Rei Henfield Photographer: Millie Green

Trans people are put under intense pressure to conform to binary ideas of gender, more so than our cis counterparts. Sometimes it feels like our entire identities can be put under unnecessary questioning for tiny acts of gender non-conformity. Fighting this can be, at times, exhausting. Sometimes the thought of not wanting to be misgendered does win over the quest for Vibes. But when possible, playing with and subverting these rules can be fun. Masculine and queer femininity is a big inspiration for me, especially the glam rock scene of the 70s. Open my gender brain, dear reader, and you see Marc Bolan. If Bowie, Prince, and even Harry Styles can do it - so can we. Skater-inspired fashion is also a go-to. As mentioned, baggy clothes are a trans-masc’s best friend, and with this you can wear all the oversized t-shirts and jeans you want, but it’s Fashion, darling. The best is when you combine the two - baggy more ‘masculine’ overalls with elaborate earrings and glittery eyeshadow. I have a pair of platform oil-on-water Docs which have the perfect combination of subtle Elton John glam platform and grunge vibes which go with this look perfectly.

“It is ultimately you who has the final say on what your clothing says about your gender, and the opinion of anyone else is always secondary to that.” When I was home last, I found what my 16-year-old self saw as my gender euphoria shirt. It’s nothing special, a simple grey and black baseball t-shirt that I got after watching a YouTube video by a trans creator who said that the cut and design of those shirts gave the idea of broader shoulders, and when worn with a binder, heightened the flat masculine appearance of the chest. Wearing it now I am aware of how my relationship with my gender and my presentation has changed. Whilst things like that, strategies which aid the adherence to established ideas of gender, are invaluable, it is also important to remember that it is ultimately you who has the final say on what your clothing says about your gender, and the opinion of anyone else is always secondary to that.

adored adaptations Three RAZZ writers highlight TV and film adaptations of books they have enjoyed and how they have transformed from the page to the screen.

heartstopper “Boy meets boy. Boys become friends. Boys fall in love.” This is the blurb of Alice Oseman’s beloved webcomic/graphic novel, Heartstopper. The recent Netflix adaptation remains faithful to the source material, with word-for-word dialogue and shot composition jumping straight from page to screen. From the opening scene, which splits the screen into comic book panels, it’s clear that this adaptation knows its audience. Fittingly titled ‘Heartstopper Moments’ in the script, familiar illustrated animations, including the adorable autumnal leaves, float around on screen. Sparks literally fly when Nick and Charlie almost brush hands, while butterflies swirl around Tao and Elle. Every scene is overflowing with the excitement and anxiety of adolescence. When Nick and Charlie interlock pinkies in a darkened cinema, or Tara and Darcy share a sweet kiss surrounded by rainbows and confetti, it will remind you of the adrenaline rush caused by a first crush. Heartstopper is a shot of serotonin. When so much queer representation onscreen is dark, gritty and traumatic, Nick and Charlie’s love story is like a breath of fresh air. While it may feel melancholic for older queer viewers (why didn’t they get this representation when they were younger?), Heartstopper has the potential to change young queer lives for the better. Francesca Sylph, Creative Director

this is going to hurt When a TV adaptation of Adam Kay’s This Is Going to Hurt, a memoir about Kay’s time as a junior doctor, was announced, I was excited yet apprehensive. The book managed to be both hilarious (my copy is crammed full of post-it notes, marking the parts that made me laugh out loud) and utterly heartbreaking, and I was concerned that this specific tone would get lost in adaptation… however it not only delivered but surpassed my expectations. Ben Whishaw portrays Adam brilliantly, and whilst the book consists of diary entries, the BBC series evokes this style by frequently breaking the fourth wall, with Whishaw commanding the camera with his sardonic take on events. The adaptation also allows for a wider perspective, and we get to know more hospital employees – Ambika Mod gives a standout performance as trainee Shruti, a character who will stay with me for a long time. Crucially, the show presents normal, sometimes flawed individuals, trying to do their jobs in impossible circumstances. Just like its source material, This Is Going to Hurt made me laugh and cry, often in quick succession. And above all, like the book, the show is a love letter to the NHS and why we should protect and cherish both the institution and its workers. Erin Zammitt, Print Copy Editor

the great gatsby From the captivating opening to the heart-wrenching ending, both reading and watching The Great Gatsby is an experience I wish I could relive for the first time. Though the 2013 film does not completely match the quality of the book, it comes close, especially considering the great shoes to fill when retelling literary genius Fitzgerald’s narrative. Baz Luhrmann’s adaptation, while maintaining the key elements of the plot, incorporates new angles on characters. Some discrepancies between the two are as minor as how the openings are framed, with the film presenting Nick at a doctor’s office, as if retelling his tale as a form of therapy, whereas in the novel he simply narrates his past. To create tension, a slightly more dramatic plot is followed in the film; Tom is seen to encourage violence and Daisy seems that extra bit clueless as opposed to careless. While the images of certain characters are not picture-perfect, the overall piece is beyond brilliant. The cinematic experience takes us speeding through 1920s New York: the overflowing liquor, lavish parties, loud music, and the quite literally roaring streets. The hedonistic lifestyle of this age is presented like a fever dream, with the lively music tying it all together so seamlessly. I hope that as you finish reading this article, you will not be a beautiful little fool (unlike Daisy) and will add The Great Gatsby to your watchlist. Image: Heartstopper, Netflix, 2022. Illustrations: rawpixel.com.

Anabel Costa-Ferreira 49

Interview with Scotty Gillespie LGBT+ Officer Sarah Banerjee talks to local artist Scotty Gillespie about transformations within their work, their artistic process, and life as a freelance creator. Scotty Gillespie’s artwork is full of fun, inclusivity and positivity – as they told me, “when I’m creating something, if I don’t chuckle to myself, I’m probably doing it wrong!” Scotty is an Exeter-based artist who makes bright and colourful illustrations, animations and ceramics. You might have seen some of their artwork around the city: a window display in Pieminister, or maybe their mural for Exeter Phoenix! Scotty has worked with the Vagina Museum, Microsoft and Kiehl’s, and I recently got to chat with them at a community festival for Mental Health Awareness Week called Bloom. We started off by talking about their signature artwork style… You have developed a very coherent style of artwork across the different media you work with. How did you develop that style? Did it take a long time to find what kind of art you most enjoyed making or did this particular style come quite naturally to you? Scotty explained, “what you see is not how I started. I used to be really pernickety over detail, and over time it slowly became very minimal and just about line work. And that’s because I was more interested in what the

images were doing rather than how technical it was.” Scotty talked to me about their early fears of not having the technical abilities to succeed as an artist, but they quickly realised that “the message and the content … is more important than how you actually do it” – the key is “‘giving less shits basically!” How did you start getting your artwork out to a public audience? “Social media is my main way of getting work”; the vast majority of companies “find me through Instagram, which I think is insane!” All the same, it’s great to have a website or portfolio in place because “a website is … your destination”, so you can share “the kind of work you want to put out there.” Scotty also explained that art markets have been really useful for sharing their work: “I find it so important to meet people and connect with people”, and they have made lots of contacts “just through someone picking up my business card at an illustration fair … So, fairs and social media – they’re my two go-tos!”

Images: Artwork by Scotty Gillespie

How has your art transformed throughout your life? “I think it’s always good to look to the future in your work. But, ironically, I get a lot of inspiration from my past. So, I feel that I don’t necessarily transform – I go in a cycle. So for instance, before I became an illustrator I was a tattooist, and I had, let’s just say, bad experiences in that industry. I decided to leave, but now, finding my feet and feeling really comfortable in the work that I create, I’m actually going back into tattooing … I guess cycles are transformative!” Scotty added, “for me it is so important to realise the things that went wrong, because in life, you cannot move forward without realising what you’ve done wrong” – a logic they apply to their artwork too. Do you think that being part of the LGBTQ+ community plays a role in your artwork? Scotty explained that their artwork reflects their life: “it’s the things that I find interesting, the things I find funny.” And as a queer creator, queerness is intrinsic in the process of their art, as well as in the final product. “Even though a child could relate to it who doesn’t know where they are in the world, or somebody that’s straight could relate to it, it’s coded queer.” Did being in lockdown/coming out of lockdown transform your art in any way? “At the beginning of lockdown it was really difficult, because I had a lot of work that got completely cancelled, for obvious reasons.” However, “the creative industries and communities adapt really well” and, thanks to everything moving online, many opportunities opened up for Scotty’s digital work. “So in actual fact, lockdown for me was both a positive and a negative – it was a bit of both.”

Like for many people, though, coming out of lockdown felt weird! “I found it quite difficult … just to interact with people… I think my artwork really helped guide me through that … it’s my way of trying to figure out things that I can’t articulate myself.” When making ceramics, the clay goes through a lot of transformations to become a finished product. Does that process impact how you feel about the art? “I think an important element of how I get from something to a finished product is ‘play’ … clay is just such a beautiful thing to play around with, and sometimes the things that I make out of ceramics are just because I’ve been punching clay, basically, then I’m like, ‘oh cool, that kind of looks like that!’” Although making ceramics is a very different process to Scotty’s digital work, those processes work well together. “They’re completely separate practices but they both influence each other. And also, ceramics is such a lengthy process, whereas digital illustration – it’s really snappy, you have to finish something really quick. Having the two is really helpful for me, because while I’m waiting for clay to dry I can be working on illustrations, and I can easily weave both processes into my practice.” When you’re having a bad day, do you find it harder to create art? “If I’m having a really bad day, I won’t even pick up a pencil … I’m at a stage where I would say 70% of the work I put out is actual work, so it’s like a 9 to 5 job (then there’s a portion of it which is personal work). It’s like if you’re going to work and you’re having a bad day, you’re going to probably produce bad work. So that’s my mindset – if I’m having a bad day, it’s probably my body saying you need to stop!” 53

Do you find that working for a commission motivates you/provides a clearer vision for the work, or can it also be stressful? “Commissions are difficult because you’ve got a client. And you’re creating work for a client rather than you just putting something out there … but when you complete something that was a challenge, it is rewarding.” Of course, “the client always wants what the personal work looks like … I genuinely love doing commission work.” Scotty added, “I don’t necessarily take on all commissions … I only take on things that align with my moral compass, that I find interesting, that will elevate my work, or challenge me in a positive way.” I saw in a 2020 interview that you wanted to master a jump on your rollerblades – have you done that?! “I tried the jump but the jump failed, and I actually ended up really, really hurting myself … my rollerblades are still under my stairs. I probably will go back to them at some point, but not any time soon! I think the moral of the story is that it’s okay to realise that you’re not good at something.” I read that you went to Japan a few years ago. Did the trip inspire your artwork? In what way? “I studied there for 3 months. It was a part of an exchange programme at university, which is one of the reasons why I wanted to go on that course. Previous to going to uni-

versity, I’d only ever been abroad once and it was to Japan, and I loved it so much I just really wanted to go back.” “In terms of inspiration, it’s where I learnt ceramics!” At university, “certain departments didn’t really see why I wanted to do ceramics – they didn’t see illustrative work as ceramics … and then I went to Japan … and they were like ‘of course, that makes total sense.’ … I came back with just this fire to really go for the ceramic element.” What advice would you give to someone trying to become a freelance artist? “I think a lot of people get wrapped up in making work that they think other people want. So trends and stuff like that, and the thing with trends is that they come and go. There’s nothing wrong with riding a trend, but ultimately for longevity, I think it’s best to just do the work that brings you joy – makes you happy. Or just that you like! It could be things that are depressing, but if that’s what you like then you put that out there. Because there’s always going to be an audience for what you create. Always. It’s something that I have to teach myself literally daily … create art that you want to see out in the world, create art that you want to buy. Because if you want to buy it, that means that there are other people that would want to buy it. [I create] what makes me feel good, rather than creating something that I think other people would like.” Website: www.scottygillespie.com Instagram: scotty.gillespie

How Has the Pandemic Changed RAZZ Welfare Officer Bridie Adams considers how the working world has been transformed by the COVID-19 pandemic. On 12th of January 2020, it is announced that a novel coronavirus has been identified in samples obtained from a group of cases of pneumonia of a mysterious cause in Wuhan, Hubei Province, China. The virus is referred to as SARS-CoV-2 and the related illness as coronavirus. The origin of the viral transference to humans remains ambiguous, but it spreads fast. The WHO is forced to issue a statement declaring a pandemic on 11th of March 2020, and, although we don’t know it yet, all our lives change.

“One of the most considerable effects of the pandemic has been to shine a light on the importance of allowing people to amplify their voices and express their needs at work.” The effects of the pandemic form an endless list, one of them being an altered world of work which has fundamentally changed. Firstly, the conventional 9-5 workday as we know it has changed, as employers seek to accommodate their staff with more flexible windows of working. In fact, for the world of work, one of the most considerable effects of the pandemic has been to shine a light on the importance of allowing people to amplify their voices and express their needs at work. We are seeing renewed awareness in the workplace to matters of social injustice, economic disparity and diversification, 58

and many corporate environments are taking more responsibility for these issues.

“We are seeing renewed awareness in the workplace to matters of social injustice, economic disparity and diversification.” This extends to sickness, now employees are often encouraged to take sick days where before they may have been pressured to come into work even if they were feeling under the weather. While most individuals recuperate swiftly after contracting COVID-19, some people have continuing symptoms, referred to as long COVID. The prevalence of long COVID may have increased awareness of other chronic illnesses, and in turn, influenced employers to be more sympathetic to those who are suffering with their health long-term. Fortunately, millions of people were able to work from home (WFH) during the life-changing coronavirus pandemic lockdowns. However, we must also recognise that many key workers were not afforded such safety, and were called upon to put themselves in physical danger.

“Many key workers were not afforded such safety, and were called upon to put themselves in physical danger.”

Coronavirus the World of Work? The pandemic served to highlight these potential injustices, with the ‘Clap for the NHS’ trend exemplifying how overworked and underpaid some healthcare staff are, despite the bleak irony associated with the Conservatives supporting the trend whilst refusing to increase pay.

“The pandemic served to highlight these potential injustices, with the ‘Clap for the NHS’ trend exemplifying how overworked and underpaid some healthcare staff are.” Another impact of the pandemic has been on the hospitality industry and the way these businesses function. Restaurants and bars have clawed their way through the pandemic, desperately trying to make the necessary alterations to survive the unprecedented and ever-changing rules and regulations, but ultimately we have seen the demise of thousands of establishments around the world. Staffing shortages have also played their part in this; a lack of hospitality staff has meant that in some cases the experiences of consumers have become less enjoyable, and the experiences of workers have become more stressful.

“The experiences of consumers have become less enjoyable, and the experiences of workers have become more stressful.”

Cities, which have perpetually been closely connected with white-collar working life, have also fundamentally changed as a consequence of the COVID-19 disaster. In years to come, cities may not look poles apart from what we’ve been used to on the surface, but the rhythm and the feel of them will have changed - from things as simple as wearing a mask on the commute, to avoiding your Christmas work party because you’ve got a bug you’re afraid you’ll pass on, work life has inevitably altered in small ways as well as on a bigger scale, and many of these changes reflect a move towards increased respect for the communities around us and their collective health and wellbeing. Plus, now that the world is familiar with video communications, the way businesses and individuals keep in touch and connect with each other will also doubtless be changed. After all, why pay London rent if you’ve got the internet and a webcam at home?

“Whether you work to live or live to work, you’re sure to notice dramatic changes in your professional life.” In many ways, the pandemic has revolutionised the world of work, something many of us will experience after we graduate. Whether you work to live or live to work, you’re sure to notice dramatic changes in your professional life.

spruce up your space Three RAZZ writers share their top tips for transforming your uni room, with simple and affordable ways to make the space feel like your own.

personalising your pin board Moving to university is a daunting adventure in itself but the prospect of shared student accommodation can often be a source of anxiety. For most students, uni bedrooms consist of simply a basic box room: a bed, desk, wardrobe and pinboard. I’ve found that decorating my pinboard is a fun activity, which makes the room feel more like my own. Here are some suggestions on how to personalise yours, whilst sticking to a student budget: 1) Prints Whether it be photos of friends, or posters of your favourite band, pictures bring personality to your wall without breaking the bank. Printing photographs at Boots or checking out poster sales at The Forum are two inexpensive options. 2) Fairy Lights To create a warm glow in place of the harsh lighting of student accommodation, pinning up a set of fairy lights is an easy and effective way to create a cosy feel. 3) Hanging Space It is unlikely that you’ll be blessed with much storage space, so I find that using pins to hang jewellery or other trinkets can be a cute and practical way to display some of your favourite items. As one of the only spaces of privacy you get in shared accommodation, decorating your pinboard is a simple way to create a more comfortable environment. Hopefully, these tips will help make the space feel a little more like home. Maya Fernandes

candles/incense burners Candles come in a variety of shapes, colours and sizes and can be a really sweet addition to your room. Create a moment in your room by collecting three different colourful glass candle holders and placing candlesticks in them, which also can be found in different colours and shapes. Mixing up the colours and shapes makes for a unique look: you could try a colour clashing style or pastel shades that complement each other. You can find these online at independent stores like Etsy, or for a cheaper, more sustainable option, you can often find these in your local charity shop. If you want to take sustainability to the next level, you can reuse your prettiest old wine or gin bottles, clean them, and repurpose them as candle holders — then all that’s left to do is find a candlestick that goes with the bottle. These are often better on their own rather than in a collection. Incense burners are also a good way to add scent to your room, and these too come in a variety of shapes. My favourite is the backflow incense burner, which creates the effect of a cascading waterfall with the smoke as it appears to ‘fall’ down the holder. You can alternate the scents that you burn and experiment to find your favourite. A scent that helps you feel warm, relaxed and focused will make your room feel like a sanctuary from the outside world — perfect for the hectic nature of uni life! Alanah Swift, Social Secretary Illustrations: rawpixel.com Photography by Alana Patey

cute bedding, cushions and plants At university, it can be hard to feel at home when you feel like you move location so often. Making sure your room feels like your space is incredibly important. To make your room feel more like home, here are some decorating ideas to consider. It seems obvious, but comfortable bedding, your favourite coloured duvet and some throw pillows really work to brighten up a space, adding both comfort and colour. You can even change this up throughout the year, as places like IKEA sell cheap cushion covers that can be switched out whenever- enabling you to switch up your décor without breaking the bank. Another suggestion would be to decorate with plants, as this is aesthetically pleasing but also proven to have a range of benefits from reducing anxiety to improving general mood. A further way to transform your room is storage. Allowing yourself to store random objects leaves your room feeling less cluttered and you can display items more easily- personally, I use bright coloured crates (only £1.50 from Primark!) and they have worked in making my university room less plain than on arrival. One final tip I would suggest is bringing along some of your favourite books to create a small reading corner of sorts - as nothing says familiar like picking up one of your most beloved reads. Whilst this may not be your space forever, make it yours for now. Anabel Costa-Ferreria

Illustrations: rawpixel.com

Second-Hand Switch Up: How I Upcycle Clothes to Fit My Style RAZZ writer Megan Roberts gives a step-by-step guide on how to upcycling second-hand clothes to suit your style. As an avid charity shop lover who has been delving into the rails of Marie Curie, Revitalise, and the British Heart Foundation since 2019, I’ve discovered every type of dad joke sweater and Karen blouse that there is. When you start thrifting, the overwhelming ugliness of the clothes can be an effective form of contraception for charity shops. However, time and patience will soon transform you into a savvy second-hand shopper. Here is what I’ve learned on my Oxfam odyssey: 1) Go in with an open mind and low expectations I started charity shopping fuelled by American thrifters on YouTube finding trendy or vintage items in their massive Goodwill stores. I was disappointed to find the same six racks of clothing and worn bookshelves that I remembered from childhood charity shop trips. However, this challenge meant that I had to dive into discovering my own style and finding clothes that make me feel happy and confident. Not every charity shop yields results, but when you do find something that you love, it’s worth it. 2) Know your own style A thorough understanding of your style helps you make conscientious and effective decisions. As charity shop clothes are donated months or years after they were originally marketed, it can be very difficult to find trendy pieces. Think about which cuts, colours and silhouettes you feel amazing in, and use that as a guide when you’re searching the racks. If there is a trend that you absolutely adore and want to recreate, you can find more specific items online from organisations like Thrift+, Vinted and Depop.

3) Upcycle what you find Second-hand clothes are rarely perfect – you’ll often find things that don’t quite fit or have a button missing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t transform them into something you love. Simple alteration ideas to start with: • Replace missing buttons • Unpick and move buttons to change waistband size • Add elastic to waistbands to downsize • Crop t-shirts, shirts, skirts, trousers, shorts… How to hem cropped items: 1) When cropping an item, leave 1-2cm of seam allowance (cut it a bit longer than you want it). 2) Fold to desired length and iron along the crease. 3) Stitch a straight line parallel with the ironed edge, backstitching at the start and the end to ensure your thread doesn’t come loose.

Model: Megan Roberts Photographer: Millie Green

My most recent thrift flip was a stunning orange skirt with an ugly belt detail. I unpicked the stitching to remove the belt and replaced it with a hidden button on the inside of the waistband. Little alterations like these can make a world of difference! Resizing clothes can be a bit trickier, but if you have a basic knowledge of a sewing machine from Year 8 textiles like me, it’s relatively easy to add darts or bring in the sides of clothing. There are plenty of tutorials on YouTube which explain lots of beginner-friendly ways to alter items. For missing buttons, check to see if there is a spare button sewn to the label for you to use. I try to choose alterations which match my skill level and don’t require too much time. I’ve learned that the more complex the alteration, the longer I procrastinate for – meaning it stays in my wardrobe unworn for a while! You can also embark on bigger projects – one of my favourites was transforming a men’s shirt into a puff-sleeved dress. It can take a while to develop the confidence for these projects, and there’s always a new difficult skill to master, but remember that the process is just as important as the result. If you enjoy it, then it’s worth the risk even if it doesn’t turn out as planned. 67

The Misunderstood Duckling That BAME Officer Ana Anajuba interrogates the makeover trope in movies, and how our desire for physical transformation could be problematic. TW: BODY IMAGE. I’m sure that everyone has heard the fairy tale of The Ugly Duckling, probably on the floor gazing up at the teacher as they held the children’s picture book in their hands. It is a well-intentioned story: on the surface encouraging those who feel left out, bullied, and isolated, that someday soon, life – and they – will become a lot better. Over time it has warped into a rallying cry of a metaphorical metamorphosis: a belief that is told to teach children – especially young girls – that they are merely caterpillars who will one day emerge from their cocoon into a beautiful butterfly. Who could have imagined that a Danish fairy tale added to a compendium two centuries ago would be the basis for so-called ‘chick-flick’ films ubiquitous in the 90s and 2000s? Yet, when looking deeper beneath the surface, it becomes more apparent that

Putting aside my obvious ire as someone with astigmatism and comically thick eyeglasses – or my annoyance as someone with thick kinky hair of having every girl be beautified by a quick once-over with a straightener, I have no problem with teen movies. In fact, in my opinion, many of these films are mocked merely for being targeted toward a teenage female demographic (of course you don’t get the film, middle-aged male critic – it is not for you to get). Not to mention that there are many films that emphasise the importance of self-improvement and actualisation.

Image: rawpixel.com

the idea of a five-minute makeover montage where a young girl, with the help of a stylist/classmate/best friend/boyfriend, removes her prescription glasses and suddenly discovers the wonders of contact lenses.

Cygnet: The Ugly Never Was “Over time it has warped into a rallying cry of a metaphorical metamorphosis: a belief that... they are merely caterpillars who will one day emerge from their cocoon into a beautiful butterfly.” Somehow though, it still stings when I see adverts promising that this product will cure my spot or fix my hair or make me skinny or make me pretty or… There are probably too many to mention. Sure, the original Den Grimme Ælling might have been a story told by parents who were tucking in their kids at night, or a moral fable meant to comfort those who do not and cannot fit in. However, in modern-day idioms and colloquialisms, an ‘ugly duckling’ is simply someone who used to not conform to society’s standards of beauty and now does.

“An ‘ugly duckling’ is simply someone who used to not conform to society’s standards of beauty and now does.” Now, do not get me wrong, I am a sucker for a good makeover – sometimes doing something different, either for occasions or just because I can, puts a little spring in my step and I certainly do not begrudge those who feel the same. Nevertheless, it is still strange when we place so much emphasis on wearing makeup, losing weight, and spending

obscene amounts on clothes. When we begin to put our value and self-worth on the way we look and the way we are perceived. When videos about the power of makeup are broadcast to impressionable children – and even adults. When I see reality TV shows give women who would do much better with therapy free plastic surgery I can see how much it means to them. When I used edited pictures of myself little by little just to see and then realised I had so many expectations of how I should look.

“The ‘duckling’ was never ugly, and it was never a duckling - it was just bullied.” It is a strange world where people obsess so much about how much people change physically: whether it is ‘positive’ comments about losing weight to someone who may be struggling with an eating disorder or barbs at how another person has ‘let themselves go’. Does this mean I will stop watching movies that engage with this trope? In short: No. All I can do and all I urge everyone to do is to have a deeper analysis of the way we see each other and, perhaps more importantly, the ways in which we see ourselves. It may be easier said than done, but I would much rather refuse to let how other people see me dictate how I see myself. As for the titular ‘ugly duckling’? The ‘duckling’ was never ugly, and it was never a duckling - it was just bullied. 69

Recipes Two RAZZ writers share transformative twists on more traditional recipes, providing new takes on old favourites.

vegan sesame ‘chicken’ It’s time to share my mouth-watering, fresh and uncomplicated recipe which is the busy home-cook’s best friend, made vegan. The regular ingredients for a standard Chinese sesame chicken are, surprisingly, mainly vegan, so it’s not that difficult to make the recipe entirely plant-based. The exception is the chicken broth which appears in the classic meat dish, and, of course, the chicken itself, but it is easy to sub out the broth with vegan liquid ingredients, and the chicken with a plantbased meat substitute. The tasty sauce is made of soy sauce, sesame oil, smooth peanut butter, sriracha and sugar, and takes just minutes to put together. There is just something magic about this combination, and it has a full, rich taste. You can also add in nearly any veggies or greens to this dish. Get ready to become addicted to this delectable vegan option based on a delicious Chinese favourite. Ingredients: • 1 tbsp soy sauce • 2 tbsp sesame oil • 1 tbsp smooth peanut butter • 1/2 tsp hot sriracha • 1/4 tsp sugar • 1 pack of plant-based ‘chicken’ of your choice (such as This Isn’t Chicken) • 1 pack of microwave rice of your choice • 125g veg of your choice (such as bell peppers) Method: 1) Put the sugar with the soy sauce, sesame oil, peanut butter and hot sriracha in a microwave-safe bowl. 2) Mix until it is completely smooth and the peanut butter is incorporated and blended in. 3) Fry the ‘chicken’ and vegetables in the oil over high heat until they’re done, usually about 5 to 7 minutes. Meanwhile, microwave the sauce for 2 minutes or until hot. 4) Then, plate up: top with sauce, and serve with rice.

Images: rawpixel.com

Bridie Adams, Welfare Officer

jumbo chocolate éclair The humble chocolate éclair has been reimagined as an oversized marvel of choux pastry, the perfect showstopper for those summer picnics and aesthetic TikToks. Ingredients: • 65g butter, cut up into cubes (plus extra 20g for chocolate mix later) • 150g plain flour • 3 eggs • 400g whipped cream • 2 tsp icing sugar • 150g roughly chopped dark chocolate • 250g strawberries Method: 1) Preheat the oven to a temperature of 220°C (or 200°C in a fan oven). Line a baking tray with baking paper in preparation. 2) Tip 175ml of water and 65g of butter into a saucepan at a medium-high heat and allow to simmer for around one minute. Begin to reduce the heat to a medium temperature, then add all of the flour while stirring slowly. Cook for an additional two minutes until the mixture is liquid but with enough body not to stick to the sides when stirred around the edges. 3) After 5 minutes of cooling, place the mixture in a bowl with an electric mixer (or brisk hand whisking if you have the arm strength!). Add the eggs one at a time, making sure to keep whisking at a slow speed to ensure you don’t scramble the mixture. After the eggs have been added, spoon the mixture into your baking tray to form a rectangle. 4) Bake for ten minutes before reducing the temperature to 200°C and leave for a further 30 minutes until golden. 5) Beat the cream and icing sugar together until they form a meringue-like consistency. 6) Microwave the chocolate and remaining butter for 1 minute 30 seconds, stirring halfway through for smoothness. 7) Split the éclair, ensuring the middle is cooked or removing any raw dough. Cover the bottom with whipped cream and sliced strawberries, and the top with the melted chocolate. Assemble and voilà! Gwen Page-Gibby 71

Turning Over a New Leaf RAZZ writer and Publicity Officer of Exeter society Be The Change, Sidney Watson, argues why we need to transform our mindset towards climate change in order to make a lasting difference. Climate change. Sustainability. Environmentalism. What are the first thoughts that come into your head when you see those words? University students trying to convince you of an eye roll-worthy idealism? Hippies creating off-grid cults where they worship vegetables? Global apocalypse? It’s probably different for all of us.

“More apocalyptic messaging will only make us feel overwhelmed and apathetic, which is exactly the opposite of what we need to make transformative change.”

“For too long, climate change was not seen as a credible threat; people dismissed concerns about it as liberal worrying, or too far in the future to care about now.”

And I get it. For too long, climate change was not seen as a credible threat; people dismissed concerns about it as liberal worrying, or too far in the future to care about now – and climate campaigners wanted to alter this attitude, to spread awareness and shock people into action. And it worked! According to a government survey, 76% of Brits are “worried about climate change” (1). But now, I think it’s time we leave the shock and fear campaign behind. The public are clearly aware of the issue, and are worried about it – more apocalyptic messaging will only make us feel overwhelmed and apathetic, which is exactly the opposite of what we need to make transformative change.

When thinking about environmentalism, however, there are likely some feelings that we all unfortunately share: fear, despair, or worse, indifference. And it’s not surprising: the facts that underscore climate change can be terrifying, and every news report we see, article we read, Earth documentary we watch, hammers home this negative messaging. We seem to be constantly inundated with a stream (or are they destroyed already?) of media telling us how much damage we have caused and continue to cause. The Earth is beyond repair and beyond hope. Oh mon dieu! Seemingly, nothing can be done.

(1) https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/ threequartersofadultsingreatbritainworryaboutclimatechange/2021-11-05 Images: rawpixel.com

“We need to start connecting with environmentalism through our passions and joy.” Instead, we need to shift our approach and our mindset towards climate change and sustainability. Primarily, we need to start connecting with environmentalism through our passions and joy. For example, I came to the environmental movement because I love the ocean: I have grown up near it and some of my best memories and favourite things to do have been and are related to the ocean. I want future generations to be able to see and experience the things I have, and I (selfishly) want to keep exploring the ocean for decades to come, so I want to conserve its beauty and biodiversity, for myself at the very least. And if that doesn’t appeal to you at all, that’s perfectly fine! Find what interests you instead, and focus on that – and it can be as big or small as you like. I think we need to abandon the idea that we need to solve every problem all at once. It is often appealing to try to do it all, because so much needs to be done in the climate movement – but this will only lead to burnout. We need a transformational movement, but we also need one that encourages lasting engagement. Let’s make sustainability a habit: so start from wher-

ever you are, and find what connects with your passions, lifestyle and local area, and then build from there.

“Let’s make sustainability a habit: so start from wherever you are, and find what connects with your passions, lifestyle and local area, and then build from there.” This may sound surprisingly simple or self-interested for a movement that is seemingly altruistic, but perhaps that’s what we need more of? Doing something because you have been morally shamed into it, or you just think it’s the right thing to do may catalyse brief, even intense, action, but it won’t encourage sustainable (pardon the pun) and repeated engagement with the movement, which is what we need to make lasting change. Instead, let’s ask ourselves, what passions do we have relating to the environment? What joyful memories or connections have we made, while being in nature? In essence, what will make us want to get up every day and fight for the environment? Because that is the type of engagement that will create meaningful change.

transform quiz Print Editor Caitlin Barr creates a fun quiz to determine how you can transform your life… It’s Friday night at the Impy. What are you ordering? A) A pitcher - probably Ginberry Fizz B) The craftiest craft beer Spoons can offer me C) Vodka and coke Would you rather spend your Sunday… A) At the beach B) Eating an amazing house roast C) Watching Netflix At the club, you can mostly be found… A) Taking mirror selfies B) Thinking about the TP burger van C) Dancing in the middle of the sticky floor What can you find in your room? A) Fake hanging vines, candles, maybe an Urban Outfitters tapestry… B) Mostly old Pot Noodle pots and mugs… C) Lots of books I haven’t read What’s your favourite social media platform? A) TikTok B) Instagram C) Twitter If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be? A) My star sign B) An in joke C) A line from my fave film

Mostly As - Switch up your look It’s time for a cosmetic overhaul - maybe a haircut, a manicure or a new fit. Change your look and you’ll be feeling better in no time! Mostly Bs - Try out a new recipe Use up the ready meals in your fridge then pop to the shop and get some fresh ingredients, because you’re about to become a chef. TikTok has so many fun, easy recipes you can try - who knows, you may just find your signature dish! Mostly Cs - Take up a new hobby Tear yourself away from Bridgerton and go outside! Maybe you’ll discover that you love cycling, or paddleboarding, or even something more lowkey like board games or drawing. Either way, it’s time to try something new. 74

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