33: The DISCOVER Edition by RAZZ Magazine

ISSUE 33: DISCOVER

RazZ

RAZZ is the University of Exeter’s Arts, Culture and Lifestyle magazine. Print Editor: Caitlin Barr Deputy Print Editor: Daniella Clarke Creative Director: Francesca Sylph Print Copy Editors: Aimee Fisher and Erin Zammitt

contributors Alanah Swift Amie Greenhalgh Ana Anajuba Anabel Costa-Ferreira Armorel Robinson Bee Rose Bethan Oakley Billie Harrison Bridie Adams Caitlin Barr Chloé Jarett-Bell Ciara Howard

cover illustration by rebecca johnson check out our discover playlist on spotify:

Daniella Clarke Ellen Hodges Emily Cooper Erin Zammitt Esther Humphries Ezra Rickman Faith Dale-Hughes Francesca Sylph Katherine Ostroske Lamis Alturk M Shelton Maggie John

Maya Fernandes Megan Hill Megan Roberts Millie Green Rachel Holderness Rebecca Johnson Ruth Hetherington Sarah Banerjee Senthur Shanmugarasa Sylvia Hanlon

editors’ note DISCOVER is finally here! It’s so strange to think that over two months ago we were planning this edition in winter and now we’re holding it in our hands in spring. We wanted this edition to inspire you to go forth and try new things, whether that’s a new walk, a season of singledom, or just a new recipe. During uncertain times, whether that’s on a global scale or a personal scale, it can be so easy to retreat into the known and seek comfort in the familiar. Let this edition be a rallying call to explore and learn more about yourself on the way. As always, I would like to thank my incredible print team, without whom there would not be a magazine: Erin and Aimee for being so diligent and hardworking, Dani for being my right-hand woman, and Francesca for putting all the hours into making the magazine look so fantastic. I’d also like to thank Jaffa Cakes, The Apprentice, and Ted Lorenzo (@tedthepetsastherapy) for their support at various stages of editing. Finally, to all our wonderful artists and writers – thank you for trusting us with your work and helping make this edition of RAZZ so stunning. Caitlin Barr, Print Editor I’m extremely proud of every issue of RAZZ I’ve had the pleasure of working on, but I think this one is a particularly noteworthy achievement for everyone involved. Not least because our dedicated print president, editors, copy editors, illustrators, and writers have worked tirelessly on this issue amid the pressure of exams, assignments, and dissertations. I’m so impressed with the work we’ve received for this edition. Our writers have submitted insightful and intimate pieces, exploring new things, reflecting on lessons they’ve learned, and charting the process of discovering themselves. University, even without the backdrop of a global pandemic and international crisis, is an uncertain and formative experience. This issue captures that feeling of trying to figure out what you’re doing and who you are, and it’s about having hope for the future even when those questions seem unanswerable. Thank you to everyone who worked on DISCOVER. I’m so pleased to be able to share it with you. Daniella Clarke, Deputy Print Editor Welcome to DISCOVER! Throughout the magazine, you will find a range of content, from an uplifting article on embracing single life (p. 24) to a carefully crafted walking route around Topsham (p. 50) and an interrogation of colonial ‘discovery’ (p. 22). We hope this issue will encourage you to discover more about yourself, the people around you, and the wider world. As always, I would like to thank the dream team: Caitlin, our Print Editor and leader whom we would be lost without; Dani, our wonderful Deputy Print Editor; and Erin And Aimee, our lovely Print Copy Editors. A big thank you to Ted the therapy dog and my ‘Little Fox’ Jellycat, that I bought after seeing on TikTok, for keeping me company and providing me with enough serotonin to get through designing this issue while writing my dissertation. Most importantly, I’d like to thank our contributors, writers and illustrators alike (especially Rebecca Johnson for the absolutely gorgeous front cover). This issue wouldn’t exist without each and every one of you. Francesca Sylph, Creative Director

contents 3 editors’ note 6-7 cultural appreciation vs appropriation 8-9 who do you think you are? 10-13 what ... taught me about ... 14-15 my life is not a tragedy: disability, ableism & me 4

16-18 the media that made me 19-21 lockdown learning 22-23 a man discovers a people 24-25 solo self-discovery

26-28 the gap year experience

29-31 new year, new you? 32-35 my uni wardrobe 36-38 self-discovery playlist 39-41 the best lessons uni taught me 42-43 coming out: my story 44-45 creative poetry

46-49 exploring exeter eats 50-51 exploring topsham: a walk route 52-56 recipes 57-59 self-discovery quiz

60-61 growing as we go

Cultural Appreciation vs Appropriation RAZZ writer Sylvia Hanlon explores the nuances of appreciating or appropriating a culture, and the harmful repercussions of this appropriation. Two types of cultural appropriation preside in society: cultural dominance, in which there is imposition on a ‘subordinate’ culture by a ‘dominant’ power, and cultural exploitation, in which there is an appropriation of ‘subordinate’ culture for the benefit of the ‘dominant’. When we think about cultural appropriation, we must consider: is there a history of discrimination or oppression of the ‘subordinate’ group? Is there a power imbalance? Does it perpetuate negative stereotypes? Are elements being used incorrectly?

“Cherry-picking appealing parts of a culture whilst dismissing the problems which that culture faces is harmful.” All of these questions are extremely important for navigating such a sensitive topic. For many minority groups, culture is a strong part of their identity and how they identify. It’s extremely problematic to have a person native to a culture be treated badly for participating in this culture whilst a member of another culture is praised for using it. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but in this case it’s the opposite. Cultural appropriation creates 6

one rule for one and one rule for another. Locks on white people are seen as inventive and trendy, while locs on Black people are seen as unprofessional. When Justin Bieber wears locs, there are no stereotypes placed on him, such as accusations of cannabis use, but when Zendaya wore her locks to a red carpet, she was ridiculed, and Giuliana Rancic even said that she surely smelled of “patchouli oil and weed”.

“It becomes a costume that outsiders can take on and off, unlike those within it - after all, it is still their culture when the trend passes.” Furthermore, we can look at the recent controversy of Awkwafina and her use of AAVE (African American Vernacular English). She used a ‘Blaccent’ to further her career without any real knowledge about the history and the implications of using it. What makes this worse is that when she achieved secure success, she seemingly dropped the accent. Cherry-picking appealing parts of a culture whilst dismissing the problems which that culture faces is harmful. It becomes a costume that outsiders can take on and off, unlike those within it - after all, it is still their culture when the trend passes.

We see this in fashion, where Asian culture is heavily appropriated. It is common for south-east Asian culture to be sexualised, and for Asian models to be treated as props who can be discarded. There is also constant use of ‘yellowface’ with Vogue publishing photos of white models in Geisha-inspired outfits. However, sometimes it can be hard to distinguish whether we are being culturally appropriative or appreciative. For example, Adele wearing Bantu Knots as a tribute to Notting Hill Carnival could be seen as appreciation, because some have seen this act as not for her own gain but to celebrate an event which gives the Black British community the opportunity to express their culture. Other people of Caribbean descent took offence and Adele apologised, stating the hairstyle she wore was not appropriate. This shows that even with potential cases of ‘appreciation’, we must listen to disagreements, as ignoring them would reject discourse that could further educate. When looking at my own experience as a mixed-race person of African descent, it’s hard to see my culture being appropriated, especially when I grew up being bullied for it. Being laughed at in school for having cornrows while my white classmates were complimented for their ‘boxer braids’ was

disheartening. Appropriation is damaging to the people within the culture especially when something is not seen as palatable until a white person does it.

“We must listen to disagreements, as ignoring them would reject discourse that could further educate.” So, how can we explore and take part in a culture without appropriating or exploiting? We must first listen to the culture that we want to explore, to appreciate and understand the nuances. Context is everything: what does a certain symbol mean? Can it be used by outsiders? In doing this, you are avoiding being disrespectful. However, there are no set rules when exploring a culture because everyone is unique. Cultural exchange is a beautiful thing, but we need to be vigilant of the thin line between cultural appreciation and appropriation.

“Appropriation is damaging to the people within the culture especially when something is not seen as palatable until a white person does it.”

Who Do You Think You Are? RAZZ writer Ruth Hetherington explores ideas of self-definition and what she has discovered about her own identity through this. Like every good mild existentialist, I am a sociable introvert. I really love the company of others: family, friends, and essentially everyone that one interacts with on a dayto-day basis. But, as I write this, I am alone, having breakfast in a cafe on a very sunny Friday, which to me is as fulfilling an activity as a pub trip, girls’ night or anything else considered to be sociable. I am content! More than that, I am happy. I am enjoying the company of myself, and not in a ‘in this world you only have yourself’ way, but in a ‘I’m going to be with people later so why don’t I just enjoy some time alone?’ way. To greater or lesser extents throughout my life, I have always enjoyed time alone. As a child, I was described as ‘chirpy’ - I would literally never stop talking and I was friends with everyone. But I also spent hours playing alone, creating entirely made-up worlds, which I loved being in. I don’t quite do this anymore, but I’m still content when alone, something I think I get from my parents. They are both highly independent individuals - sociable but thoughtful and self-sufficient, something which I admire very much in both of them. So, I guess that’s the first thing I can say I have ‘discovered’ about myself in my limited time on Earth so far - I am a sociable introvert, who loves the company of myself just as much as the company of others. I think a lot of people are like this, and I become more convinced of this the more people 8

I meet. I think knowing how we truly like to spend our time can be really beneficial to us, as it helps us to know what actually makes us feel good. And I’d say that is a nice way to define ourselves - how we spend our time to make us feel good.

“I think knowing how we truly like to spend our time can be really beneficial to us, as it helps us to know what actually makes us feel good.” Self-definition also comes from the subjects we surround ourselves with. Our clothes, our music, the TV shows we watch religiously and quote to death. I suppose it’s the way in which we present ourselves to the world. This is a foolproof way to define ourselves; it can help us categorise ourselves and bond with people over a mutual interest, and it can help us to fit in. But these presentations of ourselves can also be a conundrum: no one wants to present themselves in a way that someone else might interpret as weird. You may like something, love something even, that doesn’t fit with the perception of you that people hold. This can be confusing and can often lead to a feeling of embarrassment or an unwillingness to admit that you actually do love something, despite it not being stereotypically ‘you’.

However, it is important to appreciate that we don’t have to conform to one definition of ourselves. I think it’s good to know that we’re multifaceted - it makes us worry less about how we appear to people, simply because they don’t really know everything! Differences in our tastes also happen across time, as well as symbiotically. We refer to them as phases. The blessed times of intense and whole-hearted appreciation for something that no one else could possibly understand. I’ve had a few of these myself…

scientist’ phase. I have loved so many things in my very short life span, and I am certain I will come to love so many more things that I don’t even know exist yet.

“It is important to appreciate that we don’t have to conform to one definition of ourselves.”

There are undoubtedly phases that we look back on and deeply regret, but ultimately, we probably still really enjoy or connect with certain aspects of our past devotions. They make us interesting, much like the unexpected aspects of our characters and personal tastes. I’m glad that I’ve had these phases - it’s allowed me to figure out what I want to keep in my life, what I don’t need in my life anymore (Jack Wills) and what I actually really enjoy.

There was the preppy period (Jack Wills I’m looking at you) - although, to be fair, I still love a good loafer and still own an unholy amount of shirts. There was also the (please brace yourselves) Biggie Smalls phase. Not that Biggie Smalls isn’t incredible, but it was certainly a random phase for a skinny girl with braces in an entirely Jack Wills get up. But it happened, and I unashamedly enjoyed it. I also had a Gossip Girl phase, a ‘Mac DeMarco is King’ phase, and an ‘I’m wearing a lot of clashing prints and dress like a mad

“I have loved so many things in my very short life span, and I am certain I will come to love so many more things that I don’t even know exist yet.”

So, I think that is who I am. A slightly shy yet very sociable person, with many likes and dislikes, and with much substance. No doubt you are too.

What... Taught Me About... Three RAZZ writers share what they have discovered about a particular history or culture through consuming a piece of media.

What Hippie Culture Taught Me About Self-Care I’ve always been both intrigued and confused by hippie culture. When I thought about hippies, I thought of Penny Lane in Almost Famous (2000), played by Kate Hudson, with her ethereal, rockstar vibe and fabulous coat. Or Joan Didion’s observations of the ‘free love’ scene in San Francisco in the ‘60s, writing about kids who lived off macrobiotic diets and a profusion of drugs. Or even girls on Pinterest, with long hair and minimal clothing, lying in the sun and talking about chakras and yoga and how to tap into the divine feminine. Emerging from a messy break up, and fuelled by the desire to reclaim my identity, I’ve recently been fascinated with hippie-inspired wellness influencers. Initially drawn in by the aesthetics, I decided to investigate the self-love, inner peace ideology they all subscribe to. And even though I found a lot of their beliefs hard to take seriously, and even hypocritical, I realised that these women possessed a kind of self-assurance and serenity that I just didn’t have access to. I’ve always thought of myself as straightforward and rational. But, I began to wonder, if I’m plagued with self-doubt and anxiety, is my no-bullshit attitude really worth it? Would I be happier if I gave everything up to pursue peace and love? Are these hippies onto something? The annoying thing about self-care is that it works. Going on walks, meditating, eating healthy and journaling can be boring, and yet they have a huge impact on our physical and mental wellbeing. As part of my resistance to hippie culture, I had also been resisting activities that could make me feel better, simply because I didn’t take myself seriously enough. And even though I was still sceptical of girls on Instagram with perfect hair, posing on the beach and talking about touching the energy of the universe, I decided to try out some of the aspects that interested me - to start living with a greater focus on myself.

I quickly found that it doesn’t have to be boring. It can be fun discovering rituals that make you feel healthier and happier, crafting a routine entirely for yourself. My current rituals include exercising regularly, writing down my thoughts, and listening to Rumours by Fleetwood Mac. A cornerstone of hippie culture, every track on the album is uniquely iconic. Anchored by the heavenly voice of Stevie Nicks, the mother of hippie culture herself, the album provides the ideal atmosphere for dancing, crying and self-discovery. A personal favourite of mine is the song ‘Gold Dust Woman’. The effortless vocals, combined with poetic, even ominous lyrics, make it an experience to listen to. Singing and dancing along in my room with the volume on full blast is probably the closest I’ve come to a spiritual experience in recent years. Even though I still find aspects of hippie culture strange, verging on ridiculous, I’ve come to accept that being healthy and finding your peace aren’t frivolous pursuits. In fact, when it comes to putting yourself first, they’re vital. Daniella Clarke, Deputy Print Editor

What A Thousand Splendid Suns Taught Me About Afghanistan’s History I first picked up A Thousand Splendid Suns about six years ago, when I was 15, and today it remains one of the most impactful reading experiences I’ve ever had. The 2007 novel, by Khaled Hosseini, follows Mariam and Laila, two Afghan women from different generations, who form a close bond when their lives intersect in the cruellest of ways. Much of the story takes place over a thirty-year period, from the early 1970s to the early 2000s, therefore depicting a turbulent period in Afghanistan’s history including the Soviet invasion and both the rise and fall of the Taliban’s reign. This is a fictionalised yet visceral snapshot of Afghanistan under Taliban rule, captured by Hosseini, who was born in the country’s capital, Kabul, also where the novel takes place. I was struck by how brutal and horrifying yet how moving and beautiful it was, in the novel’s presentation of female connection and solidarity in the face of cruelty and violence, and of gendered oppression within an already oppressive regime. 11

A Thousand Splendid Suns stayed with me long after I had turned the last page – so much so that I ended up writing part of my A-Level English coursework on the novel, where I enjoyed rediscovering Hosseini’s words and analysing them in more detail. When the Taliban regained control of Afghanistan last year, following a war lasting almost two decades, I will admit that one of my first thoughts was of A Thousand Splendid Suns, and of Mariam and Laila. Perhaps it seems naïve and ignorant to equate real life and fiction so flippantly, and they are of course two very different entities, but I do think there is great value and influence in stories that so candidly depict a country’s history. Yes, the novel’s lessons on Afghanistan and the Taliban are somewhat basic, but they are accessible and compelling lessons nonetheless. And whilst Mariam and Laila are fictional characters, their plight mirrors that of millions of women during this period, and isn’t that the purpose of historical fiction? Within his work, Hosseini humanises and demystifies lives that are often frustratingly portrayed as far removed from our own. News reports will always fail to fully capture the individual suffering within such a huge, complex, and long-lasting conflict but, when done sensitively and effectively, literature is able to achieve just this. Consequently, I truly believe that my understanding of and response to the news last year was more informed as a result of reading A Thousand Splendid Suns years earlier. From A Thousand Splendid Suns I learnt about a history that I had never been formally taught, and one which is now more important and relevant than ever. Hosseini’s novel highlights the struggle of Afghan women to access basic human rights and freedoms, a struggle that they are now facing once again. Discovering the past often leads to a deeper comprehension of the present, and that is what I experienced with this piece of literature. Erin Zammitt, Print Copy Editor

What It’s A Sin Taught Me About the AIDS Crisis It’s A Sin is a visually stunning, heart-wrenching drama from the mind of Russell T. Davies. Released in 2021, it has become Channel 4’s most streamed show in its history. After hearing rave reviews, I decided I had to watch it for myself. Though I knew the basics about the AIDS crisis of the 1980s and early 90s, I was not too well educated on the subject before watching the show. It’s A Sin follows a group of young people as they move to London, become friends and discover their own identities during the early 1980s; it focuses particularly on Ritchie, an aspiring actor from a homophobic family on the Isle of Wight. As the characters explore their sexuality, they enjoy the freedom of reinvention that comes with moving away from home. However, for Ritchie, his friends, and the wider community within which they live, the hedonistic days of their 20s are soon threatened by the emergence of the AIDS crisis. It’s A Sin presents the transition from a joyful innocence and a reluctance to accept the reality of the crisis, to the heart-breaking consequences of the disease. 12

Davies succeeds in creating a show that portrays extremely emotional moments without victimising his characters. The raw, real and ruthless depiction of AIDS is handled with both passion and anger, intertwined with pure joy and intimacy within the characters’ relationships. Davies develops this storyline without seeming preachy, basing the show on his own experience of losing friends to AIDS in the 1980s. It’s A Sin exposes a world shaped by false information, fear and stereotyping. It succeeds in consciousness-raising, continuing to remove the shame associated with AIDS deaths even today and tackling some of the biggest misconceptions of the disease. It is easy to criticise certain characters: the parents who refuse to acknowledge their sons’ sexuality, the doctors who shun those suffering with AIDS, and the politicians who refuse to act. But the show also makes us question our current situation; the 1980s and the events of It’s A Sin are both distant enough to feel separate from our lives, and yet near enough for us to ask whether we have made sufficient progress since. Thankfully, treatment for HIV/ AIDS has developed significantly since the 1980s; preventative medicines can stop people from contracting HIV and effective treatment can stop people from transmitting HIV and developing AIDS. However, the show demands that the suffering of those who died is not forgotten. Stigma around HIV/AIDS has not disappeared - has the issue simply slipped from the public consciousness since the 1980s? It’s A Sin exposed me to the experiences and realities of those living during the AIDS crisis; it encouraged me to further educate myself, and to question if I am doing enough to be an ally for my LGBTQ+ friends and family members today. Undoubtedly, It’s A Sin is a show that will stay with you long after you watch it. Image: It’s a Sin, Channel 4.

Esther Humphries

My Life Is Not a Tragedy: Disability, Ableism & Me RAZZ writer M Shelton writes candidly about her disability and how society’s ableism has affected her life. The term ‘disabled’ is a difficult one to claim when it’s always framed in a negative way. “I don’t see you as disabled”, people say, “you’re just differently-abled”. But as I have learned, ‘disabled’ is not a dirty word, and the fact that I am disabled is an undeniable part of my lived experience. The fear and negativity surrounding this word in our society is a symptom of the sinister ableism that runs through it.

“Disabled is not a dirty word, and the fact that I am disabled is an undeniable part of my lived experience.” Although I wasn’t always conscious of it, ableism shaped my own view of disability. When my health declined and I needed a wheelchair, I was reluctant, and not just because of the appalling state of pavements, ramps and lifts in the UK. How do we talk about wheelchairs? “She’s wheelchair-bound.” “He ended up in a wheelchair.” “They’re stuck in a wheelchair, but they don’t let that hold them back”. Language like this reflects wider attitudes towards disability, and I feared the assumptions that people would make about me as a now visibly disabled person, as well as the judge14

ment I would receive as someone who requires a wheelchair but can also walk. Too many people have been harassed for “not looking disabled enough” to use a disabled parking space, or for standing up from their wheelchairs. Meanwhile, people assume that we can’t speak for ourselves, and they instead address the person sitting next to us. It’s also assumed that we can’t or don’t have sex, an extension of their infantilisation of us, and they can’t fathom why any non-disabled person would ever want to take on the burden of dating us.

They believe that protecting the economy is more important than protecting disabled lives, because our lives are assumed to be less meaningful. The stories they tell about us are reduced to tear-jerking tragedies or inspiration porn. Is it any surprise then that I, and so many others, have struggled to accept our disabilities?

“The stories they tell about us are reduced to tear-jerking tragedies or inspiration porn.” When I finally went out in my wheelchair for the first time, the physical relief I felt was marred by seeing pity in the faces of strangers. Yet, as I have discovered firsthand, wheelchairs don’t bind people. They are tools that grant us mobility, freedom and independence. By learning this, you start to understand that a lack of accessibility is what truly holds us back. Ultimately, ableism weighs me down far more than my disability ever could. I didn’t realise it until I became disabled myself, but the sheer scale of ableism today can make disabled people feel as though they are drowning. As much as I want to change this, I resent that my community must spend so much of our precious energy fighting for our very existence. Whilst it is normal to grieve losing my health and the life that I had imagined for myself, it was internalised ableism that led me to fear I would never find a job that I could do, find love, or be happy. The online chronic illness and disability community helped me to challenge these beliefs. Advocates such as Claire Wineland taught me that disability is not a flaw, and that disabled people can positively contribute to the world and build a life they are proud of. This community has also shown me that, like racism, ableism is a deeply embedded societal norm that we must each actively unlearn.

“Ultimately, ableism weighs me down far more than my disability ever could.” Accepting my disability required me to let go of what my life was supposed to look like. I also had to learn that I can’t waste time waiting to be cured before I truly start living. For one thing, I may never get better. More importantly, I want to make the most of every day and whatever ability I do have. That doesn’t mean deciding that I can do anything if I set my mind to it. My body has limitations, and trying to pretend that it doesn’t will only lead to me hurting myself. Though our capitalist productivity culture tries to tell me otherwise, my worth is not determined by the number of things I can get done in a day or how much money I make. My life might look a bit different to other people’s, and I might need to take things at a slower pace, but I’m not afraid of that anymore.

“Don’t disempower me with your pity. My life is not a tragedy. I am disabled, and I am also loved, kind, intelligent, and valuable.” Both my illness and ableism may be painful and hard to live with, but I no longer believe that disability equates to misery. So please, don’t disempower me with your pity. My life is not a tragedy. I am disabled, and I am also loved, kind, intelligent, and valuable. I am following my passions and learning to be happy in a way that isn’t dependent on my ability to function in the same way as everyone else. I am truly excited to see what my future holds.

the media that made me Three RAZZ writers highlight pieces of media that have helped them discover something about themselves and their identity.

book: greetings from bury park Greetings from Bury Park is a memoir based on Sarfraz Manzoor’s life growing up in Britain as an immigrant. Published in 2007, it later served as the inspiration for the 2019 Gurinder Chadha film, Blinded by the Light. Having watched this film with my mother (who cried, which tells all you need to know) at Christmas, I finally forked out for the book. The novel charts Sarfaraz’s life as he tries to grapple with being both British and Muslim. Unlike other tales of ‘finding yourself’, the book is given an added twist as Manzoor is introduced and becomes obsessed with the music of Bruce ‘The Boss’ Springsteen. Growing up as a first generation immigrant has its challenges - you want to respect your ancestors while trying to fit in with your mates. Manzoor’s childhood was spent rejecting his parents’ culture, something he later grew to regret. This was especially relatable; I was often upset that my parents’ English wasn’t perfect, or that they worked on Christmas Day while all my friends were tucking into their mince pies. Growing up made me realise how naive and, frankly, disrespectful these thoughts were. My parents came to Britain on the 21st September 1993 and went straight into work the next day. They sacrificed their own lives so I could flourish in this country. Manzoor echoes this feeling at the end of the second chapter, which makes this book especially pertinent to me when it comes to identity. What makes this book really special to me is the fusion of Manzoor’s passion for Bruce Springsteen and how it impacted his identity. One part of the book that was particularly affecting is Manzoor and his Sikh friend saying they didn’t feel British due to their family upbringing but they also didn’t feel Asian due to them having perceived “white tastes” (their love of Springsteen). This really hit home - although my friends joke about me being indie, that too is a source of comfort from the manic world around me. But there is still a nagging feeling of being out of place when it comes to music. Despite being a regular at a certain pub and Exeter’s indie nights, I am usually the only POC there, and this is a source of perpetual anxiety. Nevertheless, both Manzoor and I found solace in the lyrics of our favourite artists. While for Manzoor it was Bruce Springsteen, for me comfort is found in the witticism of Jarvis Cocker or the dulcet Irish tones of Grian Chatten. For those struggling with their dual identities, Greetings from Bury Park is not overly clichéd and is rather helpful in working out where you stand in this ever-changing world. Senthur Shanmugarasa, Online Editor 16

film: last last night night in soho film: soho The The cautionary cautionary phrase phrase “be “be careful careful what what you you wish wish for” for” becomes becomes aa haunting haunting reality reality in in Edgar’s Edgar’s Wright’s psychological psychological thriller, thriller, Last Last Night Night in Wright’s in Soho Soho (2021). (2021). The The filmmaker’s filmmaker’s latest latest endeavour endeavour tells tells the the story story of of aspiring aspiring fashion fashion designer, designer, Eloise, Eloise, as as she she swaps swaps the the comforts comforts of of her her proprovincial Cornwall home for the bustling metropolis of London. Yet, the wide-eyed student’s vincial Cornwall home for the bustling metropolis of London. Yet, the wide-eyed student’s obsession with the the intoxicating intoxicating glitz glitz of of the the “Swinging ‘Swinging Sixties” Sixties’ soon obsession with soon bleeds bleeds into into aa world world of of phantasmic nightmares, nightmares, when when she she travels travels back back in in time time to to embody embody the the ‘60s ‘60s lifestyle lifestyle of of wanwanphantasmic nabe nabe singer singer Sandie. Sandie. Struggling Struggling to to fit fit in in and and find find her her place place at at university, university, Eloise Eloise seeks seeks solace solace in in an an old-fashioned old-fashioned bedsit, bedsit, completely completely unaware unaware that that it it would would form form aa doorway doorway into into the the euphoric euphoric vibrancy vibrancy of of ‘60s ‘60s Soho. Transported into a lucid construction of the past, Eloise lives vicariously through Soho. Transported into a lucid construction of the past, Eloise lives vicariously through the the life of of the the ultimate ultimate “it ‘it girl’ fantasy life girl”,, often oftenrejecting rejecting social social engagements engagements to to fall fall deeper deeper into into her her fantasy world. world. However, However, as as this this connection connection deepens, deepens, the the boundaries boundaries between between dream dream and and reality reality are blurred. are blurred. As As aa “dark “dark Valentine” Valentine”to toEdgar EdgarWright’s Wright’shometown hometownofofLondon, London,the thefilm filmreinvents reinventsthe theclassic clascoming-of-age story to create thisthis ghostly tale. Known forfor hishis fast-paced pastiche style in sic coming-of-age story to create ghostly tale. 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album: hadestown To get through the summer of lockdown #1, I only managed to differentiate each week by whatever obsession was gnawing at my attention. My favourite of them all, women in Greek myths (prompted by the reading list for first year of BA English), started with Hadestown. I started listening to the Broadway musical version after it was nominated for numerous Tony Awards. There was much to admire as I fell down an obsessive rabbit hole. For me, it became less about the academic history of The Iliad and The Odyssey, and more about modern books that feature perspectives of women from these ancient tales, like the work of Natalie Haynes. I sped through Circe and The Song of Achilles from Madeline Miller, which were popular during that summer. The aesthetic of ancient Greece, the lessons of morality and fable quality became a fixation. I realised just how far my driven interest and research could take me, particularly outside of texts set as part of a taught course. Hadestown, a concept album, tells the story of old and new love, looking at themes of trust, sustainability and change. On a rather unstable road, Orpheus and Eurydice make self-discoveries through how much of themselves they are willing to offer to the other. Their story is compared to the failing marriage of Persephone and Hades, each song a testament to truth, blindness and ideas about freedom, as well as the dreaded undoing of passion: doubt. At the core of their discoveries, Orpheus and Eurydice learn they are unable to offer an everlasting sense of security (emotional, as well as domestic life) to each other. As Hades aims to supply this for Persephone, he loses sight of what is important, prioritising authority and money over their connection. Overall, the album digs into anxiety about the future and how a person’s true character is ultimately defined. Hadestown and Anaïs Mitchell’s fascination with the Greek myths has been a flexible, dynamic musical project of hers that has been in the works both before and after the specific album on which I have chosen to focus - including in her own albums since 2007 and in musical theatre that is currently running. Despite having more emphasis on the instrumental jazz style than the most recent musical, Mitchell’s original album still has singers with strong vocal character. For Mitchell, this interest in Greek myth, specifically the influence of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice in her work, has lasted 15 years, from a song on a solo artist album to a 40-song musical. There isn’t a moment of dialogue unsung, or a moment of drama without instrumental storytelling; I think it’s one of the most complex concept albums I’ve ever heard. The project of Hadestown inspired me, in terms of dedication and passion towards a specific topic, with its depth and emotive power. Faith Dale-Hughes

lockdown learning Three RAZZ writers tell us about a new hobby or skill they picked up during the lockdown period, and how it impacted their lives during the pandemic and beyond.

walking At the start of every term, seminars usually start with the daunting task of introducing ourselves and something that we enjoy doing in our spare time. I’ve always struggled to answer the latter; I read, I do work but I’ve never really had a hobby that I thought qualified. However, in the second lockdown in November, I began to go on walks. The new rules meant that the only way I was able to see my boyfriend was to go on daily walks together. Soon, we became bored of the same old routes and decided to go further afield. What began as 10km walks around Exeter soon became 20km, exploring the small towns and villages in the surrounding area. Since then, I’ve been out to Dartmoor many times, climbed Scafell Pike in the Lake District and most recently went out to the Brecon Beacons. Saying that the lockdowns taught me to go on walks might sound a little silly, but I can safely say that I fell in love with exploring, hiking, and walking. I have also realised just how beneficial getting out in nature can be for your mental health. Especially during the difficult times of the COVID-19 lockdowns, getting outside really helped me clear my mind of all the bad things that were going on in the world and just be present. The views around Exeter are stunning and I’m so glad that I have managed to make the most of my time in Devon and fully appreciate how beautiful this area is. Walking has essentially become a personality trait now, but I can’t help it. I fell in love with it. If you’re able and haven’t been out to the surrounding area of Exeter, I highly recommend it. Those daily walks became a silver lining throughout the difficult period of online learning and restrictions, and I am so glad that I have been able to continue exploring in the months since. Amie Greenhalgh, Deputy Online Editor Illustration by LGBT+ Officer Sarah Banerjee 19

sewing Boogying along to my ‘hanging on by a thread’ playlist, I pressed down on the sewing machine pedal, faintly hearing the satisfying whirr of the needle as it pierced and re-entered the fabric. By my own admission, in the past I have never had much patience with sewing; sewing by hand took too long for my childhood impatience, my stitches were irregular and all over the place, and even worse, the outcome was dependably misshapen. Over time, I justified my disappointment through an early (and embarrassingly undeveloped) flickering of feminist thought. In my understanding, women in the past had broadly entertained and provided for themselves by sewing because it was one of the few professions open to them. Why would I personally want to engage in a practice which symbolised a period of relative female oppression? It was only when watching my mum sew scrubs for NHS workers during the early days of the pandemic that I gave time to fully interrogate and unpick my questionable prejudice. Of course, there are certain acts which inevitably point to a gendered history, and I would still argue that sewing is fraught with this cultural past. However, by placing myself in wilful opposition to that past, I actively silenced any nuance and enjoyment which could emerge by taking a more objective approach. So, amid flour shortages, toilet paper rows, and TikToks about Tiger King, I rethreaded the needle with a new mentality. My little sister had taken textiles classes at school, and I looked to her for guidance. Patiently, she taught me how to use the sewing machine, never objecting to the frequent, puzzled questions I asked her. It was humbling (and at times frustrating) work—who knew a piece of cotton was so hard to thread through a needle’s eye? Yet, using my grandma’s sewing machine and with the support of my mum and sister, I felt surrounded and comforted by a living thread of matriarchal history. I recently read somewhere that, contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be any good at your hobbies whatsoever. You can simply do things for the joy and pleasure of doing them. I’d like to think that this encapsulates my sewing journey. I’m still learning to lean in and enjoy the imperfection of slightly wonky seams and the occasional unpicking, which interrupts the steady flow of the needle. Afterwards, there is an undeniable pleasure in holding a creation in your hand and thinking, “this, I made this!” Tabby Hannam Illustration by LGBT+ Officer Sarah Banerjee

running Before the pandemic, the concept of a lockdown was not really something many people were familiar with. Staying at home for an unspecified amount of time without being able to leave for anything other than essential journeys or daily exercise is something I don’t think anybody thought they would have to live through. All of a sudden, our lives were turned completely upside down and we all faced a very challenging time. However, whilst it proved to be extremely difficult in many ways, it also gave us an opportunity to slow down and possibly discover new hobbies. For me, that was running. Personally, the hardest part of lockdown was the total lack of a change in scenery. Sitting around looking at the same four walls and spending all my time in the same few rooms would drive me insane, as I’m sure it did many others. I constantly felt like I had no energy because I was literally plodding around the same tiny space every day. I would walk my dog once a day to get out of the house, but even that was starting to feel monotonous. One day, I decided to run. I won’t lie – the first few times were hell. I hadn’t exercised properly in a while, and I felt like my lungs were going to explode. But even so, it got me out of the house in a different way than walking the dog did. It allowed me to go further, on routes I couldn’t take my dog. There was just something about running outside, in the fresh air, that made me remember that a world outside my house did in fact still exist. Once I got through those first few runs where I struggled to remember how to breathe and found my groove, I started to love the different routes I’d take and genuinely began to look forward to them. But mostly, running was a goal I could set myself, so it had a different impact on my life than walking – controlling my breath, getting up that hill and covering a certain distance gave me that feeling of accomplishment that I think we all lacked over lockdown. The pandemic delayed so many aspirations and ambitions for so many people and forced us all to sit idly as time kept moving, so for me, accomplishing something as small as a run gave me back that feeling of hope and achievement. Megan Hill

A Man Discovers a People BAME Officer Ana Anajuba interrogates the concept of discovering a place and the problems surrounding the West claiming ownership of different cultures. What does it mean to discover a place? Recently, I watched a video essay on the satirical sitcom Dinosaurs and was intrigued by an episode where one of the eponymous dinosaurs ‘discovers’ land inhabited by primitive humans and claims it as his own. The writing is not perfectly allegorical, but it is a clear allusion to colonial discovery. So, what does it mean to discover and to be discovered?

“This is just a fantasy. There was no such thing as finding unclaimed territories.” When we think of discovery, we often think of walking through uncharted jungles, finding objects designed by no one and belonging to nobody, battling against the vast expanse of nature to find true tranquillity to claim as our own, but this is just a fantasy. There was no such thing as finding unclaimed territories. The most famous explorers – and therefore discoverers – are men who used the power that they had to

rob and pillage from native inhabitants. The same thread whispers again today. Many times I have seen people claim ownership of traditional ‘ethnic’ food and rebrand it as their own. Restaurants cannot be run by people of actual descent, but are colonised and made palatable by ‘acceptable’ representatives who treat each new ‘discovery’ as one stop of many on a cultural tour. Think of your favourite Mexican restaurant, or Chinese, or Indian, shops that wind up and down the high street, and wonder at the ubiquity of various cultures in one place. Then pause and find out who owns these successful enterprises; wonder why the food is so different from who owns it.

“The most famous explorers – and therefore discoverers – are men who used the power that they had to rob and pillage from native inhabitants.”

I am not, in fact, the food police. I do not aim to tell people what food they should and should not eat or which countries they should and should not support. I blanch at the idea of ‘authenticity’ as a requirement for food considered foreign to Western tastes. It is simply impossible not to acknowledge the fact that those who hold the key to the gate choose who to let in. That is, the financial backer will only put their faith in something that is seen as marketable, whatever that may be at the time.

do not necessarily belong to any one person. I suppose as someone who has been mocked for the things I cannot change and the elements of myself I should not want to, seeing them be reinvented (that is to say, renamed) as something new causes a small ache within me.

“Discovery does not simply bring something to a wider audience, it robs it from those who knew it before, from those who created and shaped it.”

Therein lies the problem: discovery does not simply bring something to a wider audience, it robs it from those who knew it before, from those who created and shaped it. Wild discovery, without bounds and without respect, is the same as theft. Except it doesn’t just take a thing from its owners, it takes the owners out of history altogether.

This is not only something that happens with food, though that may be the most pervasive example. Rather, it is in the clothes we wear and the music we listen to. It is in the films and shows we watch and the paths we walk every day. It is hard, as a writer, to simultaneously believe in the idea of giving credit to an amorphous blob of people yet also in the idea that ideas

“Wild discovery, without bounds and without respect, is the same as theft.”

You may be mistaken in thinking that a place like America was discovered in 1492 and created in 1776, but there are so many stories before that. Discovery must be handled with care and precision; it is understanding that builds on the foundation formed by finding something new. 23

solo self-discovery RAZZ writer Maggie John discusses the societal pressure to find romantic love, and how she has learned to accept and embrace single life. What do you associate with the word single? Being alone? Being lonely? Or perhaps you associate it with crying into a bottle of white wine, a concept so regularly portrayed in the media. For a long time, that’s what I associated my singledom with too, because that’s how I believed you were supposed to feel. I now realise that, of course, there are people who feel that way, but it’s not how you have to feel and I’m sure if you asked most single women, they too would disclose the fact that they’re happy to be single.

“Or perhaps you associate being single with crying into a bottle of white wine, a concept so regularly portrayed in the media.” For nearly five years, I was very embarrassed to be single. The majority of my friends were getting into relationships, and I’ve never come close. I used to see it as a reflection of my worth, but I now realise that worth has nothing to do with it. Over the weekend, my flatmate asked us if we had ever had a boyfriend who took Instagram photos for us. I replied, “I’ve never had a boyfriend”, and this time it wasn’t a cause of shame. In many ways, it was the opposite of shame and for probably the first time, I’m truly content in my singledom. That’s not to say I wasn’t content before, but it feels different this time.

Our generation came of age as social media boomed, meaning unrealistic body standards became far more accessible and films such as The Duff (2015) were released. I vividly remember watching The Duff for the first time and declaring it the answer to all my questions. Of course, the only reasonable explanation as to why I’d never had a boyfriend was because I was obviously the ‘Designated Ugly Fat Friend’. It’s only recently that I’ve realised how toxic the notion of The Duff is, yet society unfortunately creates the perfect environment for these ideas to blossom. We rarely see the reality that the majority of women are single out of choice reflected on screen. Sex and The City’s Samantha Jones is one of the few examples I can think of, yet her choice to be single is a stark comparison to fellow character Charlotte York who is often single, but incessantly searching for the love of her life. When I look back at the past few years and all that I’ve done and achieved, I’m so pleased that I never had a boyfriend and I truly believe, if I had had one, it probably would have been the worst thing that ever happened to me. I’m so pleased that I’ve been able to do so much, with no real responsibility to another person, allowing me to truly live in the present.

“In many ways, it was the opposite of shame and for probably the first time, I’m truly content in my singledom.”

Also, I would argue that the old saying rings true and that in order for someone else to love you, you have to love yourself first. You don’t want or need another half, you want a whole who can add something to your life, but not complete it. In fact, I despise the concept of your ‘other half’ because it promotes the outdated notion that you’re not complete without a partner, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

“I despise the concept of “your other half” because it promotes the outdated notion that you’re not complete without a partner, which couldn’t be further from the truth.” I also believe that there’s far too much focus on the concept of romantic love. As recently as yesterday, I had a conversation with my friend about how for a long time, I believed I was unlovable but of course, I’m not. In fact, I’m very lucky because I know how loved I am. You can fall in love without it being romantic, and when I look back at the last nine months, it has happened to me many times. I’ve met true, lifelong friends, which is equally as valuable, if not more so, than finding a romantic connection.

“Time is everything. Remember that some people’s chapter nine is your chapter two.” I realise it’s easy for me to sit here now and declare how much I enjoy being single and how valuable the love from our family or friends is, but it’s taken me a while to get here. Some days are hard and all you want is for someone to sweep you off your feet. That’s valid and don’t let people tell you otherwise. Of course, most of us hope that one day we will meet the love of our lives. I’ve been told countless times, mostly by people in relationships, that, trust them, it’s so much better to stay single, but it’s easy for them to say so from the comfort of their relationship. What I will say, however, is that time is everything. Remember that some people’s chapter nine is your chapter two. I’m not embarrassed about never having had a boyfriend anymore. I’m more embarrassed by the pressure I put on myself for not having a boyfriend by the grand old age of nineteen or twenty. It’s just the beginning, and good things come to those who wait.

The Gap Year Two RAZZ writers describe their contrasting gap year experiences, and what they discovered about themselves during this period.

Travel I never intended to take a gap year. During my A-Levels, I knew that Exeter was where I saw myself come September. However, as summer rolled by and results day creeped increasingly nearer, I convinced myself that I was not going to get the grades for my first-choice university. The fear of being stuck at home with no future plans convinced me to attend an open audition at Pineapple Studios for a performer job at Disneyland Paris. Two weeks later, I opened the email that offered me the role. A once in a lifetime opportunity, I accepted the job before even learning of my acceptance into Exeter. My gap year abroad was confirmed! And so, from January to August in 2019 I lived alone in a studio apartment in Montévrain. This was my first experience of living away from home, and not only was I completely independent for the first time, but I was in a new country. Before my gap year, I would not have considered myself an independent person; I have a twin sister who I had relied upon for most of my life. In France I was therefore thrusted into a new situation where I had to learn how to survive by myself, and in doing so I discovered how much I really enjoy my own company. My self-confidence and independence flourished, and I came home transformed. This definitely eased my move to university, as upon starting at Exeter, I had already experienced budgeting, cooking, and other struggles that accompany independent living, heightened by the challenge of living abroad. A gap year abroad is an amazing chance to learn about different languages and cultures. My French language skills were embarrassingly limited upon moving to Paris, however there were ample opportunities to push language learning. I was taught the basics of French, Spanish and German at work, to help me talk to guests, and lunch breaks with friends were like a fun cultural exchange as we would talk about our home countries. I even visited the local cinema that screened films with subtitles, and attended dance classes that were taught entirely in French. But above all, what I treasure most are the memories I made, the friends I met, and the freedom I had to explore the city on my days off. I had two days a week off from work, in which some of my favourite memories include: the free access I had to the theme park, Disney Pride, a drag show, clubbing in Paris, exploring beautiful parks, swimming in the Piscine Joséphine Baker, and eating some amazing food. I particularly enjoyed admiring the street fashion in Paris, and I would like to think that it changed my fashion taste for the better. I really valued the luxury of staying in one area rather than travelling to multiple places, which allowed me to get to know the city much better.

Experience I’ve always found it rather cringeworthy when people say that their gap year changed them. But after experiencing living abroad myself, I can assure you that you will come home a different person than you were before you left; more independent, self-confident, educated, fulfilled and happy. Ultimately, if you are lucky enough to go abroad on your gap year like I was, do it. I would love to go back to Paris; there is so much more to learn and see and do. Rachel Holderness

No Travel My gap year was going to be a time to travel and spend time with my extended family in the USA. However, this was 2020, the year of the pandemic. I was not only unable to travel, I could barely see my friends or even visit local landmarks. I felt like my year was going to be wasted and, at first, it was. I didn’t do anything. Walking the dog was the only time I saw the sun. However, as it turned out, even in this passive time, I did something positive. My parents and I were living together in a small apartment, and we started to spend a lot more time together. Before the pandemic, I was busy with school, my father ran errands, and my mother went into her office for most of the day. The time we had together at the end of the day was spent when we were all burned out and tired. However, in 2020, we were in the same house together. Instead of irritating us, this strengthened our relationship, finally giving us time to take part in activities we hadn’t previously been able to. Discovering who you are can also depend on the people with whom you spend time. Such concentrated contact with the people closest to me allowed me to see myself in a new light. Eventually, I decided that I couldn’t spend the entire year just watching YouTube and walking the dog. I found that, during my busy school years, I had dropped many of my hobbies in favour of schoolwork. So now, with free time on my hands, I researched. I investigated habits that I could take with me into the stressful environment I knew was waiting at university, including yoga and meditation. Next, I thought about hobbies I had always wanted to try. Some of these were unsuccessful (drawing and painting), but others resonated with me. I taught myself to knit, made clay models, and started to play the ukulele. During all of this, I explored books; I dabbled in multiple genres but found that fantasy was my favourite. I devoured all the fantasy I could get my hands on, finishing a book in a matter of days when I enjoyed it. All these new hobbies gave me a good idea of what I liked and who I wanted to be.

This ‘journey’ into myself took a bit of effort. Reflecting on yourself is easier when you are given a way to do it, and travelling is an example of this. By planning everything, taking part in activities, and meeting new people, you can find what you like, who you are right now, and who you want to be. I didn’t anticipate that staying in one place, around the same people, could still be conducive to finding yourself. I learned about what I liked to do, and found aspects of myself that had been hidden behind schoolwork and busy days. Travelling isn’t necessary to discover who you are; all you need is yourself. Katherine Ostroske

Illustration by Billie Harrison

new year, new you? Three RAZZ writers share their own New Year’s Resolutions, as well as revealing whether they have stuck to them during the first weeks and months of 2022.

social media usage At the start of this year (ironically while watching a video on my phone about how to make more time for reading), I decided to cut down my time spent using my beloved and battered iPhone 7. I figured that, rather than committing to a certain number of hours off per day, I would cut out an entire day of the week completely. What better day to pick than Sunday, a day that should be spent chilling out, having a tidy up and preparing for the week ahead, rather than trying to obsessively track the inception of the latest meme tweet format? If I hated it, it was only one day a week, and I could go straight back to watching Stacey Solomon’s house renovation Instagram stories on Monday morning. Many of us no doubt spend most of our time with our phones clutched in our hands, our vision deteriorating for the sake of another ‘material gworl’ TikTok. True, phones can be used for good (I have learned words I never knew existed thanks to Wordle), but I had started to feel a bit sick looking at my screen time data. I confidently asserted to friends and family that if they saw me posting on a Sunday, they should feel free, nay, duty bound, to send me an aggressive text telling me off. When I decided to write this article, I had high hopes of being able to say that every Sunday I have been outside, touching grass, reading books, cooking delicious food and not once even considering opening Twitter. However, those hopes were dashed not even a week later, when I entirely forgot about my resolution and spent almost the whole of the Sabbath on TikTok in bed. Since then, I’d love to say I’ve got back on the digital detox wagon, rather than being dragged unceremoniously behind it, Instagram story-ing the entire thing, but that would be false. I have been on my phone every Sunday since. Sometimes, we are not strong enough for our New Year’s resolutions, and I am woman enough to admit that occasionally all I need when going through a rough patch is to watch babies on TikTok (I can highly recommend the accounts @maiaknight and @lewwni if you too enjoy nothing more than BabyTok). Sure, there have been times when I’ve naturally not reached for my phone while with friends, and I would love to have more time to read, but over the past couple of years, many of us have used our phones and social media as a sort of comfort blanket, curating the content we like to consume on bad and anxious days. While I’m still battling deadlines and reading still feels like a chore thanks to my English degree, I’m prioritising my mental health – and if that means being terminally online, so be it. Caitlin Barr, Print Editor

trusting my own decisions The average human makes around 35,000 decisions a day (1) — and best believe I overthink most of them. My friends and family are all too aware of this because I’m constantly asking them if I’m doing the right thing. To try and remedy this, I made it my aim this year to trust my own decision-making. That being said, as soon as I saw this article brief, I turned to my flatmate and asked her if she thought I should write it. The bar, then, was pretty low. This was early January. In this article, I’ll bring you with me over the last month as I look at some of my best decisions and worst panics of the new year. Early on in January, I had the decision-making equivalent of the New Year’s rush to the gym: I was making decisions left, right, and centre, surprising my family and friends with confident outfit choices or decisions on games to play in the evening. I even managed to decide what to wear for a pub trip without asking anyone what they thought. Come January 8th, however, on my return to Exeter, my decision making prowess fell to pieces. I’d been coasting at home — how many decisions was I really making when my parents were feeding me and my days were dictated by the inevitable busyness of Christmas? Turfed out of the car at the train station, I found myself standing in the rain with the weight of a thousand decisions hammering down on my head. Cut to two days later, and I am faced with a Big Decision to make for the first time since the year began. I make a terrible choice and only start to clock my mistake when I’m two albums and several chocolate bars deep into a wallowing session. It was a valuable lesson in following my heart sometimes instead of trying to make a logic puzzle out of every decision. Even decision gods make mistakes, and I’m glad I saw the light and went back on this one. All is not lost, however! I have found that using the ‘mum-friend complex’ to help me make decisions has shown results. The simple trick is to surround yourself with people who hate making decisions even more than you — and then magically you’ll take over and choose something. It’s nearing the end of March now, and I feel like I’ve learned a lot from my decision dilemmas. I’m more confident in making choices, but I’m also beginning to see that each decision can be handled differently. While logic can sometimes help, following your heart isn’t always a bad idea. Millie Green, Publicity Officer (1) https://go.roberts.edu/leadingedge/the-great-choices-of-strategic-leaders#:~:text=Make%2035%2C000%20Better%20Decisions%20Each,%26%20Labuzetta%2C%202013.

yoga As the start of a new year was soon approaching, I realised I had yet to come up with a resolution, and despite the likelihood that I would break it, I was determined to make one. I have for many years loved yoga and attended weekly classes, however COVID-19 impacted this and it became less of a part of my routine. As this is a type of exercise that is both physically and mentally beneficial, I decided I was going to incorporate between 15-30 minutes of it into my everyday routine this year. As January began, I followed a 30-day yoga journey on the YouTube channel ‘Yoga With Adriene’, quickly finding it a great way to either begin or end my day. Although many joke that yoga is not a proper sport, it is a fantastic way to destress after a hectic day of lectures or to stretch out those muscles needed to walk up Cardiac Hill. As I enjoyed it, I was able to keep this up without issue for the first few weeks, but as the term workload got heavier, I did struggle to make the time. As the type of person who can take things too seriously, I was determined not to break this resolution even after an exhausting week of deadlines. Eventually I broke my resolution, but despite the initial guilt I felt, I now realise that there is more than one way to look after yourself, and that the basis of a resolution is not to self-criticise. Making a resolution can often bring added and unnecessary pressure, which is why when you make them, they should be goals which bring you a moment of peace or happiness. While I can say that I have revived my love of yoga, I realise that a daily commitment was not realistic. In all honesty, I only managed up to day 23, but I am still proud of myself - and if that’s been your experience with your resolution, you should be too. It is not necessarily the act of completing the resolution that is the important aspect, but the self-determination to make one. It is through having ambition and looking out for ourselves that we can achieve things, not through criticising ourselves for missing a day of a new habit. As January now seems both far behind us and miles away, try something new anyway - a calendar doesn’t have to dictate our goals. Anabel Costa-Ferreira

my uni wardrobe RAZZ writer Lamis Alturk recounts how her style has evolved throughout her university years, and the importance of individuality when it comes to fashion. Fashion has always been a huge part of my life. I have always used fashion to express myself, and during my time at sixth form you could definitely tell what kind of mood I was in depending on what footwear I was wearing. If my friends found me wearing flat shoes, they knew I was stressed. Being from Manchester, city fashion is definitely more out there than other places in the country. You would always find me wearing a pair of heels and a blazer, coordinated with a pair of sunglasses on my head, and it has been this way ever since I was in Year 10. I treated the school corridors like a catwalk, with my sunglasses perfectly placed over my eyes. There was never a day during sixth form that I was not called into the office to have my outfit questioned and examined. It almost became a ritual. Whilst my core style has not changed at university, it’s easy to lose some elements of it. Stash is almost an unspoken uniform at Exeter, and when talking to my friends at other universities, it’s clear that wearing stash is only prevalent to this extent at our university.

“I treated the school corridors like a catwalk, with my sunglasses perfectly placed over my eyes.” 32

During my first term at university, my style did not change. I wore heeled boots around campus, and tackled Forum Hill daily with them on. I probably could have continued to do so, had I not ended up with a foot injury, which meant I had to walk around campus in sliders as shoes did not fit. This was the turning point in my style, as after I was able to wear shoes again, I opted to wear trainers with my outfits, and this is how my style began to evolve at uni. I learnt how to style my blazers with trainers and make them into a more casual everyday look, whilst keeping my outfits fashionable. However, the second I return to Manchester, I am back into my heeled boots.

“Stash is almost an unspoken uniform at Exeter.” After the first term at university, I definitely did embrace the whole stash lifestyle and honestly, I probably own more stash than any other student. Being the Polo Stash Sec in my second year meant that I designed everything that I wanted to wear, so my stash collection became a lot larger. During the pandemic and the height of lockdown, fashion became non-existent and comfort became key. Once we were allowed back to campus, I lived in my student ambassador fleece for work. The lack of occasions to wear outfits bored me, so I began to go on mini outfit shoots with my friends as this became a really fun and legal way to meet up. Having the opportunity to dress up made the lack of events more bearable.

Lamis Alturk photographed by Publicity Officer Millie Green

This year I have gone back to my fashion roots, and it feels like I have regained my personality. I am obsessed with chunky ankle boots as this is a good way of combining flats with outfits that aren’t trainers. They allow for a cleaner silhouette, which will make your outfit look more put together. However, whilst I have gone back to making a conscious effort not to throw on a classic quarter zip and Gymshark leggings when I have a busy day ahead, you will definitely find me wearing this as my uniform throughout deadline season. It can also be fun to borrow from other people’s style. Exeter Uni Fashion is in a league of its own - amongst the sea of North Face puffers, you will find a range of incredible jackets, be it a Charlotte Simone or a long suede faux-fur. The jewellery worn by students around campus also elevates outfits: I have learnt that even if you opt for a more casual look with a sweatshirt, you can still accessorise it with a good pair of small hoops and layered necklaces. From my own evolution, it has become clear to me that style is truly circular, and by

this, I mean that, potentially, how you were dressed as a child will influence how you dress as an adult. I look back at photos of myself when I was a child and, honestly, I dressed the same as I do now. I always had sunglasses on as a child, and I always wore stylish coordinated outfits, just like I do now. I know some people will look back at some of their childhood snaps horrified about what their mother dressed them in, but I would wear any of the outfits in those photos.

“If you take anything from this article, I would say always dress for yourself.” If you take anything from this article, I would say always dress for yourself. If you ever want to switch up your style and try something different, take influence from those around you, but never wear something just because everyone else is. There is nothing better than being unique in your style and expressing a part of yourself - so if you stand out, embrace it and enjoy the spotlight. 35

self-discovery playlist Creative Director Francesca Sylph curates a playlist based around the theme of self-discovery, and what it means to her. Self-discovery is not limited to your teenage years. Here’s to the twenty-somethings who still don’t know anything: who cry over their childhood friends living five hours away, who don’t understand how to correctly portion pasta, and who still call their mum for help when doing laundry. We’re all just figuring it out – constantly learning, changing and growing. Nothing New – Taylor Swift feat. Phoebe Bridgers The ultimate sad girl collab. Who needs therapy when you can lie on the floor and listen to ‘Nothing New’ on repeat? Seventeen – Sharon Van Etten A love letter to New York City, ‘Seventeen’ is about sticking around somewhere long enough to see everything change. Hot & Heavy – Lucy Dacus No one does nostalgia quite like Lucy Dacus. Hometown heartbreak is real; the feeling of returning to where you grew up and realising that this version of yourself doesn’t belong there anymore. Landslide – Fleetwood Mac A classic comfort song that you can always rely on for a good cry. To the Mountains – Lizzy McAlpine If I listen to this too many times in a row, I genuinely consider dropping out of university to live in a cottage in the woods in an attempt to ‘find’ myself. Vienna – Billy Joel For when it feels like life is moving too fast and everyone around you has it all figured out (I promise they don’t). to Perth, before the border closes – Julia Jacklin I’ve never been to Perth but this song makes me long for a home I’ve never had.

Late Bloomer – Mereba It’s okay to take your time; you don’t have to have everything figured out by eighteen, twenty, fifty, or ever. Time After Time – Iron & Wine Iron & Wine brings his distinctive vocals and intimate indie folk sensibility to this cover of the original Cyndi Lauper track. Santa Barbara – Angelo De Augustine feat. Sufjan Stevens A song you can listen to over and over again and still feel the same as the first time you heard it. If you’re feeling lost, just let Angelo and Sufjan’s ethereal vocals and enchanting lyrics wash over you. Top to Toe – Fenne Lily A mellow acoustic tune about looking in the mirror and not recognising the adult standing there before you.

Illustration by Publicity Officer Millie Green

Slow Burn – Kacey Musgraves All the good things in life come slowly; take the time to savour your youth before rushing into adulthood.

this is me trying – Taylor Swift This one is for the ‘gifted’ kids turned average university students whose love for Hermione Granger and/or Rory Gilmore from a young age fuelled their need for academic validation. Everybody Wants to Love You – Japanese Breakfast Overflowing with hyperactive energy, this track deserves to be in a coming-of-age film. Blast it at full volume through your headphones whilst riding a bike if you want to feel like a main character. Caroline – Briston Maroney Probably the hardest part of growing up is seeing past versions of yourself become hazy memories in home videos. First Love / Late Spring – Mitski At five-foot-two, I am definitely not “tall” but I do “cry like a… child.” Rivers and Roads – The Head and the Heart A lovely little song about long-distance friendship. Indiana – Adrienne Lenker and Buck Meek Another track about leaving home featuring Adrienne Lenker’s hauntingly beautiful vocals. Slipping Through My Fingers – ABBA This is your daily reminder to rewatch Mamma Mia and call your mum to tell her you love her. mirrorball – Taylor Swift Yet another lyrically heart-wrenching Taylor Swift song (this entire playlist could have been made up of only Taylor Swift but I limited myself to only three, you’re welcome).

Illustration by Rebecca Johnson

the best lessons uni taught me Three RAZZ writers discuss what they have discovered or learned about themselves during their time at university.

alone, not lonely Through finding some of my best friends and throwing myself into endless activities and socials, university has brought me out of my shell. I have become more extroverted and more self-assured, partly because I’ve had the opportunity to learn about myself through new experiences. However, I noticed, especially during my first year, that I began to find it harder to spend time alone. Before coming to university, I was perfectly happy in my own company, even finding comfort in it. As I became caught up in the rush of university life, being alone was something I rarely experienced or enjoyed. Speaking to many of my friends, I now realise that a lot of us felt the same at the start of our first year. I thrived in my busy schedule, partly because I was loving hanging out with new people and enjoying my new sense of freedom, but also because it became a distraction from my anxieties about the change I was experiencing. Looking back, I understand that I became almost dependent on others to make myself happy, at a time when I believed I was at my most independent. Of course, this was not helped by the prominence of the pandemic during my first year. Being able to have social interaction with people became a well-needed break from my tiny uni room, which was a mix of my workplace - where I had all of my online classes - and my safe space. This year, with the reintroduction of club nights, society socials and in-person teaching, my experience as a second-year student has greatly contrasted that of my first year at university, and I have learned the importance of taking time for myself for a different reason. Burnout has been very real for me and for lots of other people I know, and this is something I realised I also experienced last year. Even in the third term, when exams are over and we have more time to invest in our personal lives and friendships, burnout is possible. Just because academic deadlines have ended, it doesn’t mean that looking after yourself is less important. As cliché as it sounds, taking care of your physical and mental health in order to fully enjoy the other aspects of your life is one of the best things I have learnt at uni. Spending time with yourself is as essential to your personal growth at university as putting yourself out there and trying new things. Bethan Oakley 39

coping with anxiety The best way to describe my start to university would be to say it felt like being hurled off a hundred-metre-high platform into the middle of the ocean, plunged into obscurity and unsure as to when (or, more importantly, if ) I would resurface and stay afloat. A pretty dramatic comparison, I know, but I’m sure that other students who battle anxiety will understand this analogy to a certain extent. For years, I had unconsciously conditioned myself into accepting that the best way to avoid failure was to steer clear of the unknown, completely removing the possibility of discomfort and, ultimately, embarrassment. In every way, starting university challenged this mentality, and represents one of the most significant steps I took towards fully understanding how much I was capable of - anxiety and all. In fact, I am currently writing this article at The Université Grenoble Alpes in France, the location for my year abroad. Given that 7-year-old Emily spent the duration of her Brownies trip to Jersey crying and yearning for the familiar comfort of her parents and, more vitally, her guinea pigs, I think it’s fair to say that I’ve come quite a long way… Even weeks before catching my flight I was on a call to the Wellbeing services, discussing what the consequences would be if I were unable to cope during my placement and returned home prematurely: already, I was returning to my old habits and preparing for defeat. However, over the following days, I grew increasingly eager for change and vowed to start making more of a conscious effort to trust in myself and my decisions - something which often required taking a leap of faith into a situation simply because, well, why the hell not? Now, I’m not going to sit back and pretend that a bit of positive self-talk and the occasional spiritual revelation is the cure to anxiety. Each day presents its challenges, but all I will say is that more often than not, the decisions I’ve made without spending hours carefully dissecting each pro and con have led me to some of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had to date, one by one reinforcing the confidence I have in myself to make the decisions that are best for me - as uncomfortable as it may sometimes feel. Anxiety is by no means a linear experience, and it’s often this sense of unpredictability that makes it hard to tackle. Therefore, with the help of my university mentor, I’ve begun striving to appreciate the little wins I have in a day: whether that be shopping alone or attempting to ski despite knowing that I’ll probably stack it down the slopes. Undoubtedly, university has given me the tools to not just endure but rather thrive each day, the Wellbeing services acting as a lifebuoy for when the sea gets a little rougher. Emily Cooper

hiraeth The clichés are true: distance really does make the heart grow fonder. In my last year of sixth form, I was surrounded by people who were desperate to leave school, leave our hometown, spread their wings and find their independence. I was one of them; I was tired of seeing the same faces everyday, not being able to go into town without seeing my teacher’s mum’s sister’s dog (anyone from a small town can relate to this I am sure!). I wanted to experience somewhere new and meet people from different backgrounds - the idea of staying terrified me more than leaving. The world around me seemed more exciting, and I was looking forward to making something of myself outside of the comfort and familiarity of my home bubble. My time in Exeter has been truly wonderful and there is nowhere I would rather be right now, surrounded by all of my amazing friends and a city that is exciting yet so welcoming. However, one thing that I’ve learned from moving away is that, no matter what it lacks or that everyone knows everything about you, there really is no place like home. I started to look at things differently, finding joy in things that used to infuriate me, like the fact that everything closes at 5pm and might not open on Sundays. There is an immense feeling of nostalgia about going home, back to your old life, being surrounded by so many memories. Despite its faults and my grumblings, it really is the people that make a place and I have a special place in my heart for my little town. My friend once told me about a word in the Welsh language that I think really sums up my changing perception of home. ‘Hiraeth’ does not really have a direct translation into English, but it refers to a feeling of deep connection and bond with home. Coming to university and leaving everything familiar behind, I have learned that it doesn’t really matter that you can’t get very far without a car, or that the McDonald’s drive-through queue causes a ten car pile up on the mini roundabout. Essentially, it is the place that made me and where my most precious people are. I do not know whether I would feel the same if I had stayed, so perhaps it is true what they say: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Ciara Howard

DISCLAIMER: These articles are told from personal experience and therefore do not reflect or undermine the experiences of others. Wellbeing support is available at the University of Exeter: https://www.exeter.ac.uk/study/life/wellbeing/

Coming Out: LGBT+ Officer Sarah Banerjee writes a personal and moving piece about her coming out experience. “God loves everyone.” “Thank you for telling me, love.” “No you’re not.” “Maybe don’t tell anyone just yet.” “Jesus ate with sinners!” “Are you happy? … Then I’m happy.” “I still love you. I’ll pray for you.” We sat in the little Lady Chapel at the side of the church. It was fun, we were recreating a wedding and learning about what all the different bits mean – the rings, the vows, the veil. Henry and Hetty Hoover were at the front, our youth group leader stood between them playing the pastor. He’d fully committed, costume and all, and we’d been given confetti to throw at the right time. “Now let’s think about what happens when two Hettys or two Henrys try and get married.” None of it worked. Two Hettys couldn’t reproduce. Who would lead the household? Who would make the money? It would be a life without God, without goodness. Hell eventually, of course. Don’t worry though! There’s a glorious silver lining, one we don’t deserve but we get all the same: forgiveness. That magical word that I clung to for so many years. Repent, because Jesus wishes you would turn back to him. You can be saved. The vows were completed and Henry and Hetty were led back down the aisle, confetti fluttering down around them. Mine was sweaty in my hand, clumped together in a colourful ball. I dropped it on the floor, kept my head down. My mum picked me up early. “She isn’t feeling well, could you come and get her?” That evening I stood and looked at myself in the mirror, checked you couldn’t see it on my face. None of the evil visible from the outside. I repeated the same mantra I always did. No one ever needs to know. My question was always why? Did it not seem out of place to everyone else, in that list of sins projected up on the screen on a Sunday evening? “The law is made for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers,” “for slave traders and liars and perjurers,” and “for those practising homosexuality” (Timothy 1:9-10). I asked it at the time, psyched myself up the best I could and asked why, in that list of people who hurt others, who intend to hate, are there those who intend to love? The answer was some convoluted response I’d heard many times before, about how God knows best. 42

My Story It’s hard to argue with that logic because nothing can really challenge it. If our human understanding of love is confused, and we are simply to trust what God says, whatever feels right or wrong is meaningless. We are all victims, in it together. Our messed up culture said sin was okay, tried to tell me I could be happy with a girl, but church was there to set us right, keep me safe. Over time, I became more angry than ashamed. I would ask questions, challenge the speakers who came to tell us what to do if we had gay friends (you mustn’t go to their wedding, but you can invite them round to dinner, if you were wondering). It never became easy, really. I know that feeling so well, the stomach knots, dry throat, fear. Every time I stuck my hand up and asked why it was wrong, bracing myself to hear it all again, I’d get that familiar tightness in my chest. It was the same feeling I got when I started to come out to people outside of the church, first at the age of 17, then a thousand times after that. Coming out is not a one-time thing; I come out every day, every time a new friend asks whether I have a boyfriend, every time my grandparents joke about my future husband, every time I hold my girlfriend’s hand in public. I know it feels like it will never get easier, but it does. That’s the bit I was most afraid of — that the shame had messed me up forever. I’d never be able to kiss a girl without that tight chest, to tell people happily and genuinely that I have a beautiful girlfriend whom I love. But I do that now. Of course, that feeling might creep back (it still does for me sometimes), but you will find people who make you feel okay when it does. Anyone who has listened to the countless prayers that God will guide them on this difficult path, anyone who has sat through testimonies about the joys of celibacy, anyone who has attended Henry and Hetty’s wedding with a ball of sweaty confetti in their palm — please know you will not feel the shame and fear forever. You do not need to be forgiven.

creative poetry Two RAZZ writers share original poetry, inspired by the theme DISCOVER.

a red december It was December when I realised I was Alive still. Winter chill in my bones, fragile, I remembered how it felt to shake — Limbs laced with frost, flesh quivering On my bones. Teeth chattering, talkative, My first conversation since last May. The sky was ghostly, half living, bright Grey, like my smile, and I thought That maybe this whisper of hope In my blood thrums through me as a Vibrant signal that my numbness is split By red. Red of love, red of anger, danger Poppies, pomegranates, poinsettias, Passion bleeds. It was a day in December when I realised I Was alive with a passion for burning — Hot and cold — feel everything — all Encompassing — and maybe Life wouldn’t be so bad. Bee Rose

when day breaks When great bellied storm clouds are pushed out by harvest sun, that is when we obey and break our fast of scowls and silent suffering. We lie in wait for ritual embrace from The Burning Star, (even though in her haste, we only receive her rays). I, tired of her entitled lethargy (she thinks we owe her for life), burnt out by her reign, scorched by her monopoly on mood, risk our safety and in disruption tear down our velvet mourning shroudsBut yet again, she hides her blinding blush. Instead of freedom, those gray sheets endure. Look, there in the fluffy crevice of firmament there are white electric streaks! They wrestle and strike and burst and explode across the dark, indifferent of their lumin competition. You see, they know their rival owns the day But in the night, that is when they share their small joy in a galvanic display. And the people, no longer her subjects, vote to melt our sunshades and replace them with green wellies. We forsake our shorts for scarves and burn our parasols. Now we are they who dodge fire strikes and grin as singed grass is subdued by our new master. Long live the storm clouds! To us its chasers! And may we rain forever more. Chloé Jarrett-Bell 45

Exploring Exeter Eats Three RAZZ writers share their own recommendations of hidden gem food and drink spots within Exeter to discover, suitable for a range of occasions.

Dinner: Pink Moon Pink Moon is a Californian restaurant and cafe in Exeter serving locally sourced food. I had been before for brunch (the Veggie Full Moon is amazing) but never for dinner. However, recently I popped in to see how an evening meal at Pink Moon compares to its famous brunch… and it was lovely! Coming in from the busy street outside, Pink Moon was very quiet - to begin with, we had the place to ourselves! We were given an ice cold bottle of tap water for the table whilst we settled into the pink-themed restaurant. One thing I’ll say is that it was chilly in there, mostly due to the stone tables, so I did have to keep my coat on throughout the meal (side note: if you’re more confident than me, you could definitely ask them to turn up their heating but, put quite simply, I am a nervous wreck that crumbles at the prospect of human interaction; essentially, I would rather slowly freeze to death than ask a waitress to shut the window. If you share this sentiment and intend to visit during a cold spell, I’d recommend wrapping up with a big jumper and lots of layers!). After being seated for about 15 minutes, we were asked if we wanted drinks. We decided to stick with tap water but went on to order food: I chose a refried bean taco with a side of sweet potato dirty fries, and my boyfriend had steak with tenderstem broccoli, fries and peppercorn sauce. 46

The staff were attentive and friendly, the food was amazing quality and the music was excellent - not to mention the gorgeous aesthetic of the place. The interior transforms from a pastel theme (which you may have seen if you’ve visited Pink Moon for brunch during the day) to a neon pink wonderland after dark. Pink Moon has a reputation for being on the pricey side, but this isn’t necessarily true. They offered a 30 percent student discount at the time of my visit, which was exceptional value. With this discount, our entire bill was under £20 including the service charge! The food was well worth the money, the portion size was great (aside from the taco which was extremely small - although I think they are designed to be mixed and matched so this was my bad for only ordering one!), and it tasted delicious.

Photos by Bridie Adams

Pink Moon also has a club downstairs, so you could make a night of it after your meal if you feel like it! I’d definitely recommend heading there with a small group for cocktails as although I didn’t sample any of the drinks, the atmosphere is excellent and from what I saw of other people’s orders,

they looked lovely! Pink Moon is in a great location on Queen Street and is well worth a visit. Make sure to give it a go! Bridie Adams, Welfare Officer

Drinks: Bowling Green When I found out there was a space to talk about a drinking spot in this edition, I naturally volunteered. Friends sighed heavily and said, “you’re not going to do the Bowling Green, are you?” Blackboy Road might look like an ordinary main road. For the most part, this assumption is correct - it’s littered with (a surprisingly large amount of ) barbers, hair salons, and decaying student houses as cars flee the main town for the M5. But tucked in halfway up is The Bowling Green Pub. For those who know me, I have a slight infatuation with this pub and will probably, quite rightly, stop reading this piece now, given how much I talk about this place. For those lucky enough not to know me, please do read on. When you enter the pub, you’ll be lucky to be greeted by its two resident dogs Siren and Paula. From the outside it may look like a traditional stock image British pub, wooden and dimly lit, but unsurprisingly it’s more than that. Unlike many other pubs in Exeter it is neither student heavy nor local heavy. On one side of the pub Exeter City Football fans sit while on the other, the North Face clad students populate the pool table. 48

In terms of drinks, the Bowling Green stocks a variety of lagers, none of that Europiss that occupies Wetherspoons. Personally, I would recommend the Staropramen, a lovely Czech number which doesn’t repulse your tastebuds. Nige, the (occasionally) lovely bearded landlord takes special care with the ale selection, changing them regularly with many of them coming from the local breweries of Devon. For non beer drinkers, there is a good selection of spirits and even cocktails on tap. No matter what drink you go for, I’m sure they will make a lovely accompaniment to the excellent food the kitchen produces. I don’t know what Kev does but the pizzas are heavenly. Food and drink aside, The Bowling Green is a pub with a good atmosphere that provides a lovely setting for a catchup with friends. The young(ish) staff put great effort into prioritising the needs of the customers and I’m very glad to be a regular there. If you ever get the chance to go to the Sunday Pub Quiz hosted by the lovely Elsbeth (or me if you’re lucky) I would thoroughly recommend it, a lovely way to round off the week. Right, now this sycophantic piece is over, time for a drink - anyone know anywhere good? Senthur Shanmugarasa, Online Editor

Coffee: The Glorious Art House The Glorious Art House is a perfectly named café-bar found among the independent shops of Fore Street. Like many of the small businesses found at this end of town, it has a distinct warmth and charm that will be sure to pull you in. Even from the street, The Glorious Art House catches your attention straight away with its beautifully vibrant sign – this is not just any old café. Inside, the décor is similarly glorious; its eclectic feel brings the café to life. The Glorious Art House is the perfect haven away from the bustle of everyday life, with plenty of comfy seats to settle into as you enjoy your coffee. Outside, you can also find the courtyard which is the perfect place for a drink in the sunshine of a summer’s day. The menu offers locally roasted coffee as well as locally baked cakes and pastries. A particular highlight is the ‘Extra Glorious’ hot chocolate if you feel like a treat! There is a selection of vegan and gluten-free options too, allowing everyone to feel welcome at The Glorious Art House.

If you’re looking to discover a new hobby or to develop a new skill, the venue also runs workshops in various crafting activities. Past workshops have included sessions making patchwork cushions, frilly knickers and bunting. The Glorious Art House has hosted live music and readings, making it the perfect spot for experiencing a bit of culture. The café also displays the works of local artists and regularly holds exhibitions too, so it’s worth checking whose work you can see and when. Whether you’re looking for your next study spot or somewhere to inspire your creativity, this café should be top of your list of places to try. So the next time you need a caffeine hit or a place to catch up with friends, why not forget Pret or Costa and try somewhere new – The Glorious Art House. You can check out The Glorious Art House on their website and their Instagram for more details of upcoming events. Esther Humphries

Exploring Topsham: RAZZ writer Esther Humphries curates a beautiful and accessible walking route around Topsham, to help you discover a new part of Devon. In the spirit of ‘discovery’, I decided to use this walk route as an opportunity to explore somewhere nearby that I had never been to before. Topsham has been on my must-visit list for a while now as I’d heard it is a beautifully quaint estuary port town filled with independent shops and places to eat. As I set off on the train, blue skies and sunshine greeted me, making it the perfect weather for a winter walk. A return ticket on the train costs only £3.90, or £2.55 with a railcard. Trains to Topsham take only 20 minutes from St David’s, or 15 minutes from Exeter Central, making it an easy and accessible day trip to get away from the study and stress of university life. This route follows streets and roads, making it open to people of all abilities. It is approximately 4 kilometres and takes around 45 minutes, but this will vary depending on how much you want to stop and explore. The Route: • Starting at Topsham train station, turn left onto Station Road and walk over the level crossing. • Continue down Station Road until you meet the high street. • Go straight over the roundabout, and down Follett Road. • Continue down this road and at the end, turn left onto Ferry Road – if you love quaint cottages then keep an eye out along here! • Continue straight along Ferry Road. Make sure to look out for the phone box library where you can leave a book for someone else or take one to read on the journey home! You will also pass the Topsham Museum and gardens, with great views across the estuary. • At the end of the boat yard, turn left up Ferry Road and then right at The Galley restaurant to go along Fore Street. • You will come to a mini roundabout, where you should take the 3rd exit onto Strand. If you’re a fan of a good charity shop, you may want to stop here to visit the Quay Antique Centre – three floors of antique heaven! • Continue along Strand and when you reach the end of the road, turn left onto the Goat Walk, along the edge of the estuary. 50

A Walk Route • When you reach the end of the Goat Walk, turn left and follow Bowling Green Road round, past the RSPB Bowling Green Marsh Nature Reserve. As you follow this road, you will pass the RSPB Lookout box – stop here for some great views across the marsh, or to do a bit of bird spotting! • Once you have followed the road round, and up the hill, you will reach a T-junction. Turn left here to go along Monmouth Street. • Follow the road to the end, then turn right onto Monmouth Hill. • At the end of Monmouth Hill, you will reach the same mini roundabout as before. • Take the 2nd exit to go along Fore Street, up towards The Galley restaurant, but this time continue along Fore Street to walk up the high street. Feel free to stop along Fore Street to take in the many independent shops - some of my favourites include the book shop and the zero-waste shop. Topsham is home to plenty of cafés and restaurants, with many vegan and gluten-free options too. • Once you reach the roundabout, turn right and walk up Station Road to take you back up towards the station, which will be on your right. I hope you enjoy this walk as much as I did and you use it as a great opportunity to clear your head, get some fresh air and explore somewhere new!

Recipes: Personalised Flapjacks RAZZ writer Megan Roberts shares a tasty flapjack recipe, allowing you to discover your new favourite flavour combinations! What you’ll love about this recipe is that you can change it easily to suit your personal tastes. It is incredibly versatile, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t have the exact quantities. I always add some mixed seeds and a whole heap of chia seeds to introduce some extra protein into the flapjacks. I take these with me to campus instead of buying granola/protein bars, because it uses less packaging and is much cheaper. Ingredients: 125g butter • 100g oats (you could measure this using a regular-sized mug – this would be about 2 full mugs) • 70g sugar - brown preferred, but white works too (this is about half a mugful) • 2-3 tablespoons of golden syrup Optional: • Chia seeds • Sunflower/pumpkin/poppy seeds • Nuts • Chocolate chips • Dried fruit • Marshmallows • Coconut slices

Note: You can add about half a mugful of additional ingredients without needing to adjust the liquid ingredients too drastically, but you may need to add some extra melted butter or golden syrup if it doesn’t combine easily.

Method: 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/180°C fan. 2. Add the butter, sugar and golden syrup to a saucepan, and stir over a low heat until the sugar dissolves. 3. Whilst the butter melts, line a high-edged baking tray or cake tin with greaseproof paper. Tip: You can buy reusable greaseproof sheets which you can wash up, meaning you don’t have to keep buying greaseproof paper and reducing yo-ur consumption of single-use products. 4. Add the oats and any other additional ingredients, such as nuts, seeds or chocolate chips. Depending on how much of these ingredients you add, you may have to add a little extra butter or golden syrup. 5. Combine until the mixture is evenly distributed over the oats, which should appear moist and golden. 6. Transfer the mixture into your baking tray and press down until the oats are packed in neatly and securely. Tip: Use a silicone spatula or grease the back of a large metal spoon for this - it will stop the mixture lifting from the tray. 7. Bake for 8-10 minutes, until the top of the flapjacks is golden brown. Tip: When you first get them out of the oven, they will feel soft to touch. They will harden as they cool down, so don’t fret! 8. Leave to cool in the tray for 3-5 mins, before using a sharp knife to gently slice into squares. The flapjacks should be warm and soft enough to cut, but cool enough to hold their shape. Tip: Be careful not to cut all the way down to the tray, because this will scratch it and damage your knife. Scoring the flapjacks to about three-quarters of the way down will be sufficient. 9. Leave to cool for another 5-10 minutes in the tray, until they are firm to touch. 10. Now you can transfer the flapjacks to a cooling rack until they are fully cool. I usually pick up the entire piece of greaseproof paper to prevent them falling apart during transfer, and leave them on the greaseproof paper until cool. Tip: If you don’t have a wire cooling rack, you can take the shelf out of your oven and balance it across two tins of beans as a makeshift cooling rack.

Recipes: Beetroot and Carrot Salad RAZZ writer Armorel Robinson shares a recipe for a delicious and healthy salad, after being inspired by nutrition expert Amelia Freer. A few years ago, I stumbled across the work of Amelia Freer: one of the UK’s leading nutritional therapists and healthy eating experts. Her simple outlook on eating well and the need for positive nutrition changed my relationship with food; focusing on what to include in our diets rather than what to exclude. Implementing as many veggies as possible into our meals benefits our mood and mental and physical health, and is cheap! Being a student, it can feel like time and money are not on our side and we often forget to eat in a nourishing way. This recipe I conjured up a few summers ago is a staple in my fridge and costs very little, makes several large servings and can keep for weeks in the fridge. It’s healthy, simple and tastes far better than it sounds. Enjoy! Ingredients: • 3 beetroots (raw) • 3 or 4 carrots (raw) • Large handful of pumpkin seeds • 1 tablespoon runny honey • 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar • 1 tablespoon olive oil • Cup of sultanas (soaked in hot water to make plump and juicy)

Method: 1. Peel and grate the beetroot and carrots. Place in a large bowl. 2. Add the pumpkin seeds (as many as you like, really). 3. In a small bowl, mix the honey, apple cider vinegar and olive oil to form a dressing. 4. After soaking the sultanas in a bowl of hot water to soften the skins, drain the water and add the sultanas to the carrot and beetroot. 5. Pour the dressing over the dry ingredients and voila! Combine all the ingredients, making sure the dressing is coating the veggies. 6. Leave in the fridge and let the flavours develop. That’s it! Super simple and healthy. You can swap pumpkin seeds for something similar (e.g., walnuts) or swap the sultanas with dried apricot.

Photo by Armorel Robinson

Recipes: Dirty Bolshevik RAZZ writer Ezra Rickman shares their version of a classic cocktail - the same great taste on a student-friendly budget. A few weeks at Exeter gets anyone left of centre labelled a ‘dirty commie’, so I thought I’d run with it for this recipe: my skint student take on the classic that is the White Russian. (Almost) every ingredient will be chopped out and replaced with a cheaper alternative that’s just as good. Ingredients: • Vodka • Milk • Lemon juice • Coffee liquor (e.g. Kahlua) • Double cream • Grated chocolate to garnish • Baileys (optional) Method: 1. First up is the cornerstone of my drinking experience: cheap vodka. Enough of us should know the burn of corner shop vodka to avoid it, yet we don’t, so our first step is to soften that blow. My preferred method is milk washing. You’ll need a large bowl, milk, lemon juice and a clean tea towel (straining cloth preferred). In my experience, half a pint of milk works for every five shots of spirit. 2. Mix the spirit and the milk while dropping in a few drops of lemon juice. Now for the grim part… let it curdle, and I really mean curdle: it’s got to look gone off before our next step. 3. For the straining you’ll want a second pair of hands, or you could lose your house deposit for making the kitchen reek of cheese. Pour the coagulated mix of milk and vodka through the cloth. The clotted-up milk should be trapped in the cloth and you should get a semi-clear liquid. Repeat straining until the alcohol is clear to your liking. The end result is a vodka so smooth that you’ll barely feel it. 4. The rest is simple: pour your vodka into a wide based glass, then muddle in coffee liqueur and double cream. Let it sit for a few seconds before hitting it with a couple of garnishes - my preference is grated chocolate - and enjoy! (If you want to up the booze content, Baileys fits flawlessly into the flavour palate). 56

self-discovery quiz Social Secretary Alanah Swift creates a fun quiz that’ll help you to find out who you are and what you can add to your life… Q1) You’ve just won a holiday competition and have been given four options to choose from. What are you going for? A) An active ski holiday/mountain break - ski passes or hiking during the day with a choice of après ski or spa treatments by night. B) Ibiza Rocks with the girls, pool all day and party by night. Cocktails, beach and sun, what more could you ask for? C) A city break holiday - exploring those coffee shops, riding that Vespa and eating your way around the city: is that you, Lizzie McGuire? D) Island hopping your way around Greece, living out your Mamma Mia dreams - preferably without the baby! Q2) Jackpot! You might be the luckiest person around – you’ve now won £10,000! What are you buying? A) Saving. It might sound boring, but a rainy day might be around the corner. B) New clothes and drinks on me! C) Just booked a ticket to a meet and greet with my favourite artist, I can’t wait! D) Gorgeous, gorgeous girls change their aesthetic weekly, and this week I’m giving boujee. Q3) 20 minutes left to get ready for the night out, what makeup look are we going for? A) Basic, if any makeup at all - 20 minutes more for me. B) Maddy (from Euphoria) core: slice liner, hair and everything is on point. C) Cassie (from Euphoria) makeup: pastels, shimmer, and glow. D) A smoky eye, lots of black eyeliner and I’m ready to go. Q4) It’s time to party. Where are we going out? A) It’s Wednesday night, so there’s only one place to go - first team and first-class game only. B) Ready to tear up the dance floor, I’m cutting shapes and I’m going where the tunes are. C) Live music or off to the pub. D) DnB night, of course. 57

Q5) It’s the next morning, what’s for brekkie? A) Protein shake or eggs on toast - let’s get back on track, no time to waste this morning… B) Today we’re doing brunch. I’m not even up in time for breakfast, it’s French toast with all the syrup – sweet! C) Eggs & soldiers, I’m a kid at heart & I’m feeling fragile this morning. D) Smashed avo on toast, a classic.

Q6) How would you describe your style? A) Practical and comfy, but I know when it’s time to dress up. B) Cute Y2K inspired fits and wardrobe classics. C) Anything vintage, I’ve robbed half my mum’s closet. D) One cool piece and we style around that.

Q7) You’re getting your nails done, what colour are you going for? A) Natural, clean and polished all the way. B) Check out my Pinterest nail inspo board. C) A colour to match my mood and to get me compliments all week. D) Long nails with a cute design.

Q8) It’s date night, what’s for dinner? A) Wagamama’s, my regular order – it’s popular for a reason and why would I risk it? B) Can’t go wrong with a cheeky Nandos – gimme that halloumi ASAP. C) That new Italian just opened up in town – how about there? D) Thai food all the way – the more authentic the better.

Q9) You’ve just received some bad news. How do you deal with it? A) Ring someone close to me – a problem shared is a problem halved. B) Get some friends around and deal with this with pizza. C) Mood journal – I know I can work through this one with herbal tea and a candle. D) Imma take a nap – all these feelings are exhausting, let’s deal with this one tomorrow.

If you chose mostly A’s... you already know you’re fun, but you also know when it’s time to put your head down. You’re probably a go-getter who loves sports and being active, and you’re also probably very organised. Not every moment has to be productive; you should try indulging in some self-care rituals to discover what works for you. Take some time for yourself to slow things down a bit - get yourself some candles, put on this week’s top-rated film and appreciate the calm. If you chose mostly B’s... you love to party and you are just living life right now. However, make sure you’re not missing deadlines! Let’s go get a journal and find some balance… but if this doesn’t sound right, then maybe you’re nailing both work AND play! As a suggestion, think about how you could enrich your life: is there a hobby that you’ve always wanted to try but it has never seemed to be the right time? Try making time for something new – you might just discover there has been something your life has been lacking without you even knowing it. Perhaps something creative, a sport or a charitable cause you can bring your energy and love of life to! If you chose mostly C’s... you’re in touch with your creative side and probably get compliments on your outfits all week long. You’re a modern, forward-thinking baddie who probably knows the best new spots before anyone else. You have a strong sense of who you are, but don’t let this limit you – just because you don’t think something fits your aesthetic, it doesn’t mean it’s not for you - let’s push ourselves outside of our comfort zones this year and try things without fear of failure. If you chose mostly D’s... you’re a trendy, fun-loving, spirited type. You adore classics and appreciate culture, and you’re the first to try a new trend, whether that be fashion, food or music. You aren’t afraid to try new things, which is perfect for self-discovery. Be careful not to overstretch yourself though; if you often find yourself running late or missing deadlines, perhaps take this as a sign to rethink priorities and assess whether you are spending your energy in alignment with your goals. Stay open minded and keep doing what you’re doing!

growing as we go RAZZ writer Ellen Hodges discusses self-discovery through the lens of the ageing process, and society’s aversion to growing older. Since when did “you’ve changed” become an insult? Why do we criticise each other for ‘changing’? And when did we develop such an aversion to the people around us becoming slightly different to the person they were one, five or ten years ago? The mentality of “a leopard never changes its spots” has become embedded within us, yet this wields unnecessary judgement for something that is a necessary part of growing older. We even hold celebrities, people we do not know, accountable for ageing, and therefore changing. This mostly happens to child celebrities, or those who start their careers young and then age - in a totally inevitable and biologically natural process. Yet, this is often incomprehensible to us and we criticise the child star we once knew for becoming, dare I say it, a changed, grown adult...

“Since when did “you’ve changed” become an insult? Why do we criticse each other for ‘changing’?” This leaves child celebrities, from Judy Garland to Disney stars like Miley Cyrus, to spend their adult lives grappling with how to shed their younger, even fictitious selves. For these women, their childhood characters, Dorothy and Hannah Montana for example, became their shadows, remaining perpetually affixed to their adult selves in the public’s mind. Unsurprisingly, this tends to lead to harmful consequences. Mi60

ley Cyrus, in open defiance of her image as Hannah Montana, constructed a rebellious, openly erotic persona, simply to prove that she is now a sexualised, adult woman. While for Judy Garland, it no doubt contributed to a life battling alcohol and substance abuse, which led to her death at just 47.

“Society has such an acute difficulty allowing celebrities, often female celebrities, to age and change that we ultimately don’t let them.” How strange and unnecessary is this? That society has such an acute difficulty allowing celebrities, often female celebrities, to age and change that we ultimately don’t let them. In her documentary, Miss Americana, Taylor Swift states that she struggles “to find a woman in music who hasn’t been…scrutinised and criticised for ageing, or criticised for fighting ageing.” The prohibition against famous women ageing is partly a result of Hollywood and the media’s blatant ageism. I typed into Google “female celebrities ageing” and was met with the tab ‘20+ Famous Beautiful Women Who Have Aged Gracefully’. So I decided to search “female celebrities STRUGGLING to age”, yet received the website link to ‘Actresses Who Have Aged Well’. After this disheartening exploration, the widespread aversion to female ageing became all the more apparent to me.

However, alongside our unconcealed and damaging abhorrence to ageing, I think there lies a deep-rooted fear of change in general. To us, change means uncertainty, the unknown and moves away from the recognisable. Perhaps this is why “you’ve changed” has become a defensive insult towards something that is unfamiliar to us.

past selves, it simply means that we have followed a uniquely independent path of self-discovery?

“The narrative around “you’ve changed” should be re-framed into a celebratory, congratulatory response to someone growing, evolving, developing and maturing.”

The idea of ‘self-discovery’ is often associated with the clichéd belief that one suddenly wakes up and ‘finds themselves’, but this is not what I mean. Self-discovery as we age is going to be a long, often tumultuous, journey whilst we unearth different passions, different ways to dress, different career paths and different attitudes. Our desires, dreams, styles and interests may not be the same as they were last week, last year or ten years ago, yet we should not feel ashamed of our change, no matter how trivial, or be shamed by others.

The narrative around “you’ve changed” should be re-framed into a celebratory, congratulatory response to someone growing, evolving, developing and maturing. Ultimately, this is what changing and ageing is, a discovery and gradual uncovering of the person we really are. And, surely, if we grow further away from our younger or

“Self-discovery as we age is going to be a long, often tumultuous, journey.”

We are not leopards. We can change our spots. Better still, our spots will change as we age whether we like it or not.

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