39: DAWN by RAZZ Magazine

FRONT COVER

RAZZ

University of Exeter’s Arts, Culture & Lifestyle Magazine

RAZZ

University of Exeter’s Arts, Culture & Lifestyle Magazine

EDITOR’S NOTE If you’re anything like me, you’ve picked up this copy of RAZZ and you’re wondering how we could possibly have reached the end of term already. University seems to fly by at a speed completely of its own in a way that can feel exhilarating and terrifying all at once. But with the release of this year’s first full-length edition, we are celebrating all these emotions, encompassed within the theme of dawn. New beginnings and fresh starts; realisations and understandings; hopefulness and positivity for the future. Having survived our first term and with the holidays fast approaching, these are ideas that, for some, define our thinking and that, for others, seem difficult to attain. Whatever dawn means to you, we hope you find yourself reflected in some way in the work of our contributors. And so, I must close by recognising the incredible work running throughout this edition, made possible only by the time, dedication and passion of our members, contributors and committee. A special thank you goes to our Deputy Print Editors, Isabella Wartski and Bethan Oakley; our Copy Editors, Em Hamblin and Maya Fernandes; our Creative Director, Maia McGill; and our Assistant Creative Directors, Jessie Fairclough and Dharma Austin. Whatever dawn you are facing, we hope that this edition gives you the strength to face it, the joy to celebrate it and the knowledge that you are not in it alone. Esther Humphries, Print Editor/Co-President Dawn evokes feelings of anticipation, hopefulness, warmth and security for me. I find the constancy of the sun rising in the same way each day, no matter where you are or how you’re doing, to be reassuring. I hope reading this edition of RAZZ inspires you to think, imagine and create many new dawns for yourself. Isabella Wartski, Deputy Print Editor

Cover art by Jessie Fairclough 2

This edition resonates with me in a special way due to the complex meanings of dawn, specifically hope, its embodiment of change and transition, and celebration of beauty. Whether this is your first term at university or one of your last, I’m confident you’ll find something within these pages that connects with you. Bethan Oakley, Deputy Print Editor Working on the Dawn edition has been a wonderful and challenging experience. To me, the theme suggests the dawning of new possibilities in life, which is exactly how being Creative Director on the first full-length edition has felt. The design theme for the pages, inspired by the cover, has pushed me in a different creative direction to what I am usually comfortable with. I’m very happy with how it turned out and couldn’t have created this edition without my creative team, so thank you, Jessie and Dharma. Hope you like it! Maia McGill, Creative Director

CONTRIBUTORS Anna Gee Katie Matthews Anna Malik Lara Iqbal Gilling Archie Dell’Armi Lily Smith Beatrice Manicone Lisette Reed Ben Blackwell Lucy Facer Bethan Oakley Maddie Conlan Bethan Pepler Maia McGill Dharma Austin Madeleine Tattersall Elena Ingram Maya Fernandes Eliza Strassheim Megan Thomas Em Hamblin Phoebe Ozanne Esther Humphries Poppy McClenaghan Grace Edwards Rachel McEwan Isabella Wartski Rafi O’Neill Jessie Fairclough Rosie Cope Juliet Wolf Vicky Boardman

CONTENTS 2-3

editor’s note & contributors

6-7

the break of dawn

8-11

an interview with exeter university open water swimming society

12-13

movember: more than just a month

14-15

shedding light on my changing taste in books

16-17

an ode to female friendship

18-19

dawn diaries

20-21

girl trends: the dawn of womanhood is not the death of girlhood

22-23

how autism changed my life

24-25

making up for lost time: queer folk and their ‘second adolescence’

26-27

and then it dawned on me

28-30

question for the culture: a new dawn on relationships?

poetry - a new dawn

32-33

next chapter

34-35

dawn of the ‘cool queers’

Nurture-U

dawn photoshoot

38-39

RAZZ online: beating the winter blues

40-41

dawn playlist

42-43

flash fiction: a time before women were allowed to feel

poetry - dawn rehearsal

poetry - everlasting

46-47

dawn quiz

dawn crossword

49-50

dawn posters

Illustrations by Maia McGill

THE BREAK OF DAWN

Three RAZZ writers share their recommendations for those looking to break into new genres of film, TV, and books.

Legal Dramas

Filing a lawsuit. Receiving a subpoena. Arguing a pro bono case. No, I am not enrolled in a law degree, I just have a specific interest in TV shows that have something to do with lawyers. It all started with my grandma’s obsession with Perry Mason - an old guy solving legal disputes and arguing cases in a law court. We used to sit down on the couch on a Saturday afternoon and binge-watch a couple of episodes, even if we had already seen them a hundred times before. However, legal dramas are not only about old white men. “It all started with my grandma’s obsession with Perry Mason.” Take Suits as an example. This TV series accompanied me through high school; its characters were my role models whenever I had an oral exam – it helped me so much to channel my inner-Jessica-Pearson when finding the confidence I needed to speak in front of my class. This series does not only focus on legal disputes, it portrays strong independent women, characters that have to deal with fragilities and deep

issues, as well as a fair amount of drama and relationships. You do not have to be particularly interested in law to appreciate Suits. “It helped me so much to channel my inner Jessica Pearson.” Beatrice Manicone

Horror Films

Renowned for its ability to shock audiences, horror is a feared genre. Its reputation as a scary and formidable genre can intimidate film fans, deterring them from watching. “A scary and formidable genre [which] can intimidate film fans.” Personally, I had always steered clear of such films, dreading that anyone might suggest watching one, until Halloween of my first year at University. After a Halloween-themed Freshers’ geography social (and many jägerbombs consumed), my new friend, Maria, and I went back to our accommodation to watch a horror film (after extensive encouragement from Maria). We watched Insidious.

Maria, a long-established horror film fanatic, laughed in delight while I screamed in terror at every jump-scare and thrill. That night cemented our friendship and my love of the horror film genre. “Maria, a long-established horror film fanatic, laughed in delight while I screamed...” Since then, we’ve watched many horror films together, from slashers to paranormal and psychological thrillers. There are many subgenres of horror; it is worth experimenting and watching a few different ones to find your favourite. Then find someone you enjoy watching them with - I do not recommend watching alone! “Find someone you enjoy watching them with - I do not recommend watching alone!” Even though I still jump in fright at every slight movement, I reflect on horror with fondness for both the genre and the dawn of the friendship it formed. Rachel McEwan, Deputy Online Editor

Adult Fantasy Novels

As A-level exams loomed and my stress required an escape, Brandon Sanderson’s The Mistborn Saga paved the way for my new love of the epic, adult fantasy genre.

“The Mistborn Saga paved the way for my new love of the epic, adult fantasy genre.” Sanderson introduces us to a new world, bleaker than any we have known, beginning his series with the trilogy: The Final Empire, The Well of Ascension and The Hero of Ages. A half-Skaa with Mistborn magical abilities and the best criminal crew assemble, aiming to bring down a divine despot, claimed invincible for he has reigned for over a thousand years. Will they be able to do it? Mistborn challenges the boundaries between science-fiction and adult fantasy, exploring the magic of Allomancy and the physics of metal properties in the backdrop of a deprived and power-hungry world. Sanderson executes this story with such grace and a perfect balance of politics, magic, and strong character arcs. What could have been overly complex is made accessible for new readers of this genre. “A perfect balance of politics, magic, and strong character arcs.” If you enjoyed the YA fantasy genre whilst growing up and wish to find an escape from our world without the clichés and love triangles, Mistborn is the perfect gateway into this darker, yet still fantastical genre. Phoebe Ozanne

AN INTERVIEW WITH: EXETER UNIVERSITY OPEN WATER SWIMMING SOCIETY RAZZ Copy Editor Em Hamblin interviews the University’s Open Water Swimming Society, discovering the appeal behind chilly Sunday morning swims.

To most university students, the ideal hungover Sunday does not involve waking up at the crack of dawn to throw yourself into the freezing sea. However, for Exeter University Open Water Swimming Society members, this is a regular occurrence. Rain or shine, EUOWSS run Sunday morning trips to Dawlish Warren to swim (or dip!) in the sea.

Aside from being a great way to spend your Sunday (and to earn bragging rights for waking early), open water swimming has various physical and mental health benefits. I spoke to the society’s Welfare Secretary, Imogen, and Publicity Secretary, Izzy, about EUOWSS’ popularity to get a glimpse into the plethora of benefits of weekly Sunday swims.

What made you join EUOWSS? What prompted you to become a committee member?

Imogen: My friend went and said it was a fun way to meet people, and then I started going by myself. I’m also into fitness and I’ve found that it’s a great way to restart your body on a Sunday.

What are the physical benefits of cold water swimming? Imogen: It boosts your immune system and heart rate, it’s good for muscle healing – good for everything! You feel the hit of dopamine. It has the same effect as cocaine but lasts longer and is obviously better for you!

What would you say to anyone apprehensive about joining?

Imogen: Come to our socials and throw yourself in; open water swimming with other people feels less scary. It is the most unappealing, appealing thing to do, but the feeling after is so good.

“It boosts your immune system and heart rate, it’s good for muscle healing – good for everything! You feel the hit of dopamine.”

EUOWSS won the Guild Award for well-being last year! Regarding well-being and mental health, why would you suggest that people try it? Imogen: It’s a great society for meeting people; it’s very relaxed. You get a serotonin boost from feeling you have achieved something and from the cold water rush. It’s not comfortable and you have to push yourself to get used to it, but you learn to form a good habit. Izzy: Whether you’re into competitive sports or not – anyone can come, it’s perfect for de-stressing from uni life.

What is the general atmosphere on Sundays?

Imogen: Very screamy; high energy! Getting coffee or hot chocolate afterwards is very lively and chatty.

What is your favourite memory from EUOWSS?

Imogen: I was talking to my friend in the sea when a massive wave came over me from behind. She was laughing, saying that she’d never seen me make that face, and then the same thing happened to her straight after! Izzy: At my first social last year, a bunch of men in Budgy Smuggler Speedos showed up, doing body shots out of each other – it was the funniest and oddest experience.

What socials can members look forward to? Both: A mix of events: cafe crawls, socials with other societies, bracelet-making picnics, and general pub stuff. Em Hamblin, Copy Editor

Why do you think it connects people?

Imogen: You’re all doing the same thing, and it’s not something normal people do! You forge friendships by asking if others are going, and then going together. It’s a great challenge, and doing it with others is more fun.

“Very screamy; high energy! Getting coffee or hot chocolate afterwards is very lively and chatty.”

University isn’t easy for everyone. As the evenings draw in and the days get darker, it’s easy to fall into a routine of staying in and drowning under a pile of work. Open water swimming has been a saving grace for me, offering a break from routine to quite literally throw myself into the sea. It has changed my university experience, and I hope anyone who may be feeling a bit stuck at the moment gives it a go.

Photography by Em Hamblin and Madeleine Tattersall

EMBER:

RAZZ writer Juliet Wolf explores how we can all contribute to long-term discussions and action around men’s mental health. TW: suicide, mental health.

Every year as November unfolds, we are greeted with a peculiar visual: a barrage of men proudly suporting facial hair in various forms, and to varying levels of success. This annual phenomenon, known as Movember, has become a global spectacle that has gained popularity in recent years. Established in 2003, Movember aims to draw attention to men’s health issues by turning the moustache, once a mere facial accessory, into a powerful emblem, signalling a collective effort to confront the challenges that men face under the surface. Yet, as the month passes for the twentieth year and razors reappear, the question lingers: what is the lasting impact of Movember? “Movember aims to draw attention to men’s health.” Mental health is one of the few areas in which men have been historically disadvantaged, and thus it’s an inherently feminist issue. When talking about feminism, it is easy to focus on issues that serve to systematically disadvantage women as these are, of course, the most pervasive in today’s society. However, at its heart, true feminism advocates for the equality of all genders.

Genuine progress involves looking beyond gender-specific struggles and acknowledging that dismantling the patriarchal system is a shared goal.

Due to the continuing climate surrounding mental health, as well as toxic masculinity and entrenched gender norms, men are statistically less likely to discuss and seek help for their mental health problems compared to women.1 Consequently, over 75% of deaths from suicide recorded in 2021 were men, making it the largest cause of death for men under fifty.2 Against this backdrop, Movember represents a beacon of change, supporting projects which aim to break the stigma around mental health in men and boys through fundraising and exposure, courtesy of the onslaught of moustaches that appear throughout November. “Movember represents a beacon of change, supporting projects which aim to break the stigma around mental health in men.” However, arguably Movember may carry the hallmarks of performative activism. Movember stands accused of reducing a complex issue to a

MORE than just a MOnth... symbolic gesture that, in itself, does little to raise awareness of the nuances of men’s mental health issues and consequently has a surface-level impact. It could be seen to foster a mentality of “How will people know that I care about men’s health issues if I don’t have a moustache?” This somewhat takes away from the power of the movement, as individuals simply participate in Movember out of a fear of being perceived as uncaring if they don’t. Even the Movember website endorses individuals to grow a moustache to show “everyone you walk past that men’s mental health matters to you.” This essentially encourages people to parade about their virtues without really having to engage in the difficult conversations and more widespread campaigning that is needed to make a lasting impact. Whilst showing support for a cause is certainly an important factor in raising awareness, in this case it seems that the true message of the gesture may be lost within virtue signalling, doing little to influence change in a more long-term, meaningful way. 1 2

So, as the moustache-clad faces of November fade into the dawn of December, it is important that we consider how to continue Movember’s essence in this new, clean-shaven era. For example, perhaps we should encourage a greater push for policy changes and more considered media representations moving forward. It is also important not to under-emphasise the impact we can have on an individual level, by ensuring that community discussions about men’s health maintain momentum moving forward so that Movember can make a tangible difference outside of one month a year. “It is also important not to under-emphasise the impact we can have on an individual level.” For more information on Movember and the causes they support go to https://uk.movember.com or visit their Instagram page @movember.

For help regarding mental health call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans or text SHOUT to 85258.

“Men and mental health,” Mental Health Foundation, October 2021 “Men urged to talk about mental health and suicide,” gov.uk, June 2022

. . SHEDDING LIGHT ON MY CHANGING . . TASTE IN BOOKS. . . . . .. . .. .. . . . . . . . RAZZ writer Ben Blackwell reflects on the evolution of his favourite genres of literature from childhood to present day.

“Every sunset is a journey, a journey to remember the memories of the past.” – Mehmet Murat İldan

As a thought experiment, I recently listed three of my favourite book series growing up: The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Rick Riordan Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling I compared this list against recent reads I enjoyed: Cat Person, Kristen Roupenian Panenka, Rónán Hession Normal People, Sally Rooney

The first thing that struck me was the difference in genre. My childhood reading fits into the genres of fantasy or dystopian fiction, while my recent reads are literary. I wanted to explore why.

First, I examined why I had liked fantasy and dystopian books. At the time I was reading them, I had comparatively little worries – no exams to study for, no money worries, no expectations for what I should do or want to do with my life. I speculate now whether I loved fantasy because I associated it with ease; but this would be to confuse nostalgia with my actual taste at the time. Even if I had associated fantasy with my younger years, I would have had no other frame of reference to compare to, nothing to say that childhood was somehow better than an older age I had yet to experience.

“I speculate now whether I loved fantasy because I associated it with ease; but this would be to confuse nostalgia with my actual taste at the time.”

I think the real reason lay in the escapism these genres offered. Sure, my childhood was easier than the beginning of my adulthood, but with less turbulence it was also duller. Collins pitted me in fights to the death against other kids, Riordan conjured the classical gods and their offspring living among us, and Rowling made me believe in the power of magic.

As an adult, I still haven’t encountered dragons, but people have become more fascinating to me than any myth. Virginia Woolf heralds the figure of Mrs Brown, an everyday woman, in her famous rebuttal to one of Arnold Bennett’s reviews. Likewise, I prefer the interiority and complexity of a person you could bump into on the street: the Roberts (Cat Person), Josephs (Panenka), Connells and Mariannes (Normal People) of the world.

“Collins pitted me in fights to the death against other kids, Riordan conjured the classical gods and their offspring living among us, and Rowling made me believe in the power of magic.’”

This isn’t to say that fantasy or dystopia are inherently childish genres (I also love Susanna Clarke’s Piranesi and Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale), but rather to show how my taste in books has shifted as what I find interesting in life has shifted.

Panenka was one of my favourite reads recently; the novel depicts a quiet town and is primarily concerned with domestic relationships. When I read it, I imagined the characters, settings and situations being of not just the story but also of my home. I grew up alongside those regretful men Hession describes, those empty pubs, those estranged families.

“When I read it, I imagined the characters, settings and situations being of not just the story but also of my home.” As I enter my final year at university and the uncertainty that lies beyond, Panenka has stuck with me. Not because it reminds me of the books I read in my childhood, but because it reminds me of the child that read those stories: quiet, unassuming and calm. Ben Blackwell

Illustrations by Maia McGill

An Ode to Female Friendship

RAZZ Assistant Creative Director Jessie Fairclough celebrates the importance of female friendships at university and beyond. “Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learnt from my long-term friendships with women.” - Dolly Alderton Exeter alumnus, Dolly Alderton, celebrates the importance of female friendship in her memoir, Everything I Know About Love. She highlights the overwhelming lows of being in your twenties, but captures the highs of it too, which she recognises are often found in the form of female friendships. I, like so many other students, know the immense value of female friendships. Moving to university I was faced with the nerve-wracking experience of leaving home and everything I knew, and moving away from friends I’d had since I was two into a flat with nine strangers. It was scary. But eventually I found myself living with four of these strangers in my second year, and this year I’m left with the very best two; and strangers are the last thing they are to me now. Not everyone is struck by the same luck of finding their best friends

under their first-year roof; you may even be reading this knowing the value of female friendships only in the context of your home friends, having not yet found forever friends at university - and that’s okay too! But the chances are, you will find female friendships that will fill you up, make you feel complete, and bring a constant lightness to your life on the days you think you can’t keep going. And even on the days you don’t need a pick me up, their friendships will be a quiet hum in the background of your everyday life, a type of love that, as Dolly describes, “you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.” These are the female friendships that will stretch beyond ones you have known before; these are female friendships that make a family. ‘‘... These are female friendships that make a family.”

As I write this, I’m sat with my friends either side of me. We are surrounded by our flat’s purple walls that I would consider slightly distasteful if it weren’t for the fact that every time I

the room step into this room I’m I’m reminded reminded of of Monica Geller’s flat and how filled with love it is, and I know that this flat holds just as much love. With the three of us sat here I can almost believe that in another parallel universe we are Rachel, Monica and Phoebe. ‘‘I can almost believe that in another parallel universe we are Rachel, Monica and Phoebe.’’ Our own flat is filled with trinkets and candles and dancing, with laughter and music, with little scrappy drawings of our favourite meals to cook together and tiny matching Sylvanians. Our flat is filled with the joy of girlhood and friends that make it a home. So even if we aren’t Rachel, Monica and Phoebe, who cares! I’m sat surrounded by these purple walls all the same, with two of my favourite women who have taught me everything I know about love. “take my hand, close your eyes, now feel.”

Photograph from Jessie Fairclough

To quote the Barbie movie, “Take my hand, close your eyes, now feel.” I’m sure you have female friendships that come to mind that you hold close; I suggest you don’t let them go.

DAW N

DIARIES

Two RAZZ writers share their thoughts on early starts, from the ideal slow morning to advice on how to enjoy waking up earlier. When moving to university, the transition into first term can be both exciting and daunting. Having experienced this first-hand, I would like to share what helped me smooth this transition back into student life: my ideal morning routine. Firstly, to have the ideal routine, it is necessary to consider what works for you and then cater your routine to what kind of day you want to have. For me, this means allowing myself slow, self-care-orientated mornings, rather than energetic and productive ones. My ideal morning routine would include waking up around 7:30 to then lie in bed and read my book for an hour, before throwing on my comfiest sweatshirt and having breakfast (and most importantly, coffee) in front of an episode or two of Friends. “My ideal morning routine would include waking up around 7:30 to then lie in bed and read my book for an hour, before throwing on my comfiest sweatshirt and having breakfast...” After this, I love taking a long, lazy, warm shower, before getting ready for the day ahead by performing a somewhat extensive skincare and makeup routine alongside checking my schedule. Once finished, I top it all off by watering my plants, before grabbing my bag – earphones already in my ears with my favourite music playing – and heading out the door. Vicky Boardman

For some, mornings are an opportunity to catch the worm and carpe diem; for others, the terms ‘morning’ and ‘mourning’ have little difference. As someone who struggles to stay awake longer than my grandmother, mornings tend to be the less favoured part of my day. Waking up while the rest of the world is still in bed can give you a sense of superiority that sticks throughout the day. Nevertheless, I wasn’t always a ‘morning person’. It was only once I turned the ripe old age of twenty-one that I realised I needed to get my ducks in a row and bid farewell to the night. If you're struggling to wake up early, here are some tips that helped me get my life back on track and enjoy waking up: SET A SLEEP SCHEDULE AND STICK T O IT .

Choose a relatively realistic sleep schedule that you know you can stick to. Be honest with yourself – are you an avid clubber who goes to bed when the sun rises? Make sure that you're going to sleep and waking up at a similar time, and your body will adapt in no time. Nowadays, I don't even use an alarm – my body just wakes me up naturally. GIVE Y OURSELF SOMET HING T O LOOK F ORW ARD T O W HEN Y OU W AKE UP .

Saving something to look forward to in the mornings can give you motivation to get up and at 'em! Think about being a child on Christmas morning and not being able to sleep beyond 7am. Find a delicious breakfast recipe to try or save an episode of your favourite TV show to watch so that you can go to sleep dreaming of what you'll wake up to. LET Y OURSELF BE SLOW .

The best thing about the morning is that, because everyone else is asleep, you can move at your own pace. It'll probably be the most quiet time of your day, so revel in it! Take an extra five minutes to make your bed or think about your outfit choice a little more. GET MOVING.

Moving first thing in the morning is one way to ensure that you don't snooze your ambitious alarm. Having a walk around outside, or even in your room, can be great for your mental and physical health. Anna Malik

RAZZ Outreach Officer Lily Smith explores the hidden complexities of the ‘girl dinner’ trend. At first glance, the ‘girl dinner’ trend appears innocent enough. It involves young people sharing images and videos of themselves enjoying meals in a cheerful, childlike manner. These posts often feature random colourful foods, playful table settings, and childlike enthusiasm. But beneath this veneer of innocence lies perhaps a more complex story. “As with many internet trends, the ‘girl dinner’ has a dark side.” As with many internet trends, the ‘girl dinner’ has a dark side. While it may seem like a harmless celebration of youth and carefree living, it may also unintentionally promote unhealthy behaviours, and reinforce societal expectations. The pressure to conform to this trend may lead individuals to prioritise aesthetics over nutritional value or develop unhealthy relationships with food. The trend’s roots in superficiality and the quest for social validation may also foster a culture of comparison and insecurity.

The ‘girl dinner’ trend, along with counterparts like ‘girl maths,’ raises the concept of infantilisation. Infantilisation refers to the process of treating or representing someone as a child, often inappropriately. In the context of internet culture, this phenomenon is concerning. It encourages individuals to regress to a state of childlike innocence, free from the responsibilities and complexities of adulthood. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with enjoying nostalgic activities or indulging in occasional childlike pleasures, it becomes problematic when it prevents personal growth and reduces women to less than adults. The question arises: why are we willingly subjecting ourselves to the allure of these ‘girl’ trends? One possible explanation lies in the ever-present pressure to maintain a facade of perfection in the age of social media. These trends offer an escape from the demands of adulthood, allowing individuals to create a curated online persona that reflects an idealised version of themselves. Maybe, we are clinging to ‘girlhood’ to try and avoid the responsibilities of the future. It is okay to be scared of what is to come, and the roles we might have to fulfil, but regressing to the stereotype of a ‘girl’ diminishes what we are capable of.

“It is okay to be scared of what is to come, and the roles we might have to fulfil, but regressing to the stereotype of a ‘girl’ diminishes what we are capable of.” It’s crucial to emphasise that this analysis does not aim to demonise participants in the ‘girl dinner’ trend or similar trends. Rather, it encourages everyone, including those who are part of these demographics, to re-evaluate their relationship with growing up. We should embrace the dawn of womanhood as a time of empowerment, growth, and an opportunity to shape our identities and roles in society. In essence, the ‘girl dinner’ trend is a reflection of the broader cultural challenges we face in navigating the complexities of adulthood in the digital age. By acknowledging the potential pitfalls of these trends and promoting a more balanced perspective on growing up, we can encourage personal development, self-discovery, and the empowerment of individuals as they transition into adulthood. It’s not about rejecting our past or denying our youth, but rather embracing the journey toward becoming the best versions of ourselves as capable and empowered adults. And still having fun making crazy meals. Illustrations by Jessie Fairclough

HOW AUTISM CHANGED MY LIFE...

RAZZ LGBTQ+ Officer Megan Thomas shares her experience of accepting and celebrating neurodivergence. For years, I have been struggling with my mental health. From sensory issues to social struggles; everyday things like shopping have been a real challenge. I have always put my problems down to anxiety or something being inherently wrong with me that I needed to change. The idea that I could be neurodivergent was very new to me.

I started to think that maybe I could be neurodivergent a few years ago, but misleading stereotypes stopped me from getting help. I didn’t fit the mold. I didn’t want to accept that I ticked almost every box of a high-functioning autistic woman. About two years ago, I finally began to face my reality.

Discovering I could be autistic was the most confusing and revealing When I was growing up, autistic kids moment of my life. On the one hand, I were the naughty boys in class. Girls hated it. I despised the idea of hardly ever got diagnosed, nor were having something “wrong” with me they even considered to have autism. that “could never be fixed,” that would As a high-achieving student, I masked never go away. On the other hand, it all of my autistic traits at school. They made me feel so much more only came out at home, where my comfortable in my own skin. I finally parents had to cope with a child they realised that all of the things I had struggled to understand. been struggling with did not signify something broken in me, but rather a “Girls hardly ever got diagnosed...” difference in the way I saw the world.

MY M LI FE “Discovering I could be autistic was the most confusing and revealing moment of my life.” I’m autistic, and I’m not ashamed to say it loud and proud.

A big step in my mental health recovery has been differentiating between overstimulation and actual anxiety. It’s easier than ever to realise when I need to step away and be able to do so without feeling like a failure. I can take steps to prevent autistic burnout and autistic meltdowns. I can take time for myself and know that it is okay to do so. “I can take time for myself and know that it is okay to do so.”

Unfortunately, the waiting list for an autism assessment in Devon is extremely long. Despite ticking almost every box, I will probably have a degree before I even reach my first consultation. It’s frustrating to be suffering and be unable to ask for assistance.

I recently talked to BBC South West correspondent, Jen Smith about my five-year wait for an assessment and recorded a televised segment. It’s a common issue now that is affecting a large majority of adults who are stuck waiting to find out if they have a disability or not.

Therefore, my advice is this: do your research. There are so many amazing resources online to help you discover if you could be neurodivergent. If you are struggling with things you may not understand, I advise you to look into it. Especially if you were assigned female at birth, try to look at female-specific symptoms, as they can differ from those of males. “If you are struggling with things you may not understand, I advise you to look into it.”

Neurodivergence is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a beautiful and unique way of seeing the world. I am proud to label myself as having undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder. Coming to terms with my autism has been my dawn. Maybe it could be yours too.

MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME: QUEER FOLK RAZZ writer Archie Dell’Armi explores the dawning of self-expression and acceptance within the queer community. Dawn brings novelty. Dawn brings renewal. And as queer people, this renewal often takes place during adolescence. Heteronormativity stifles self-expression, robbing us of our creativity, naivety, and youth. So, whilst our heterosexual peers seemingly race through milestones and rites of passage (first crushes, first kisses etc.), in turn developing a deeper sense of self, we enviously observe. Inevitably, we compare ourselves to our heterosexual peers and look inwards, tirelessly hypothesising that we aren’t monopolising on these righteous teen experiences. Thoughts of unworthiness are internalised, intensified by a fervent desire for a ‘normal’ teen experience (whatever that means). Ultimately, this uniquely queer experience carves much of our teen years into a limbo-like state, where we drift between unfulfilled, though greatly expected, heterosexual ways of living,

and unfulfilled, though greatly yearned for, homosexual ways of living. “Tirelessly hypothesising that we aren’t monopolising on these righteous teen experiences.” Consequently, we are thrust into adult life without adequate opportunities to freely explore our identity, or plainly experience romance with the same juvenility as our heterosexual peers. With a distinct lack of lived experience, we leave adolescence with an innate urgency to “make up for lost time,” punctuating the start of our “second coming out.” “With a distinct lack of lived experience, we leave adolescence with an innate urgency to ‘make up for lost time,’ punctuating the start of our ‘second coming out.’” This term defines the time when we, as queer people, grant ourselves the courage to explore our likes, dislikes, and identities, trialling a further

For lots of us, this is a messy time, a teething phase. Disorientated and dazed with this newfound freedom, it is daunting trying to uncover who we are. For so long, we have, willingly or not, conformed to the rigid, patriarchally-imposed manual of heterosexuality. Yet there we stand, with no manual, no boundaries, no sense of self. The freedom is limiting. The right place to start will never present itself. “Disorientated and dazed with this newfound freedom, it is daunting trying to uncover who we are.” It is crucial that we trust ourselves and fine-tune our individuality, that we monopolise every new experience, allow ourselves to be scared of the freedom, envelop ourselves in the unknown. and see what sticks. This piece aims not for pity, but to remind myself and others of the beauty of this “rebirth.” All that has been repressed is all that resurfaces, and this liberation is akin to the freshness of dawn.

The beginning of something new, something novel: the beginning of the rest of our lives. “To remind myself and others of the beauty of this ‘rebirth.’” It would be naïve to neglect the fact that there are sociocultural factors that may prohibit such a liberal attitude among all queer individuals. But to fellow queers anywhere, whether you’re capable of expressing it or not, know that there is immense beauty within you. And as you sit before the dawn of enlightenment, know that this journey is your own. “Know that this journey is your own.” Archie Dell’Armi @archiedellarmi

AND THEIR ‘SECOND ADOLESCENCE’

And Then It Dawned On Me… RAZZ writer Maddie Conlan shares her love for the film that made a lasting change to her outlook on life. There are some films in life that upon watching make a lasting impact on your perspective of the world. About Time is one of those films for me. Released in 2013, it follows the relationship of Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) and Mary (Rachel McAdams).

I can only describe this film as a beautiful, heartbreaking tale about the joys of living life to the fullest and embracing the toughest challenges that are thrown at you. It is the film I watch every time I need to cry but also every time I want to feel hopeful about the future. “It is the film I watch every time I need to cry but also every time I want to feel hopeful about the future.”

Domhnall Gleeson, Rachel McAdams in About Time, Universal Pictures, 2013.

The film begins with Tim finding out that his father (Bill Nighy) can travel back in time, but only to moments that he has lived through, and that this ability has been passed down to him. The story unravels from there, when Tim moves to London and eventually meets Mary. The first time I watched About Time, I was aged eleven and had just gone to my first funeral.

It was for my great-grandmother, whom I adored dearly, and it was my first real, painful introduction to grief. The funeral itself was a blur, as were the days afterwards. I remember one rainy Sunday, a few days after the funeral, cuddling up on the sofa with my mum. She wanted to watch a film, so she picked About Time to watch with me. I don’t remember every moment of the first time I watched it, but I remember every feeling afterwards. It made the gaping hole that grief left behind, something I have had to deal with multiple times in the years since I first watched About Time, easier. Its depiction of life, love and grief is the rawest, and most relatable portrayal I’ve ever seen, touching on how to say goodbye to your loved ones. Every time I have had to deal with losing a family member, or a friend, I have referred to this film to help me cope. “Its depiction of life, love and grief is the rawest, and most relatable portrayal I’ve ever seen.” The emphasis on grief and learning to let go is secondary only to the stunning romance between the characters, Tim and Mary. Rather than focusing on unrealistic depictions of love, we follow them through all the mundane and wonderful moments of the life they’ve built together. Without spoiling the main aspects of the plot, the moral of the film is to “just try to live every day as if [you have] deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of [your] extraordinary, ordinary life.” Over the last decade, I have taken this mantra and made it my own. Every day is extraordinary no matter what you’re doing; whether that is being on your own, romanticising your coffee trips, or giggling with your housemates. About Time has taught me that our moments with the people we love are not infinite, so we need to enjoy every sliver of time we get with them. “The moral of the film is to ‘just try to live every day as if [you have] deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of [your] extraordinary, ordinary life.’”

Illustrations by Maia McGill

Question for the culture: TW: anxiety, disordered eating, sexual abuse.

RAZZ Deputy Print Editor Isabella Wartski investigates our generation’s relationship with and attitudes towards pornography. Almost everybody watches pornography, but hardly anyone talks about it. Sex and porn lose their power of secrecy and shame if we are able to share our stories, without fear of judgement. I spoke to six anonymous Exeter students, three boys and three girls, to try and get an idea of how our culture is interacting with porn. Three can be found below, and all six are published online at www.razzmag.co.uk.

Person A:

I first saw porn aged thirteen, feeling peer pressure from schoolmates. My young exposure opened me up to a lot of anxiety surrounding sex and led me to expect novelty and nuance in every sexual experience which led to hyper-fetishization as I got into increasingly obscure kinks. My relationship with porn is an improving one… I haven’t watched in a while, but I’ll have periods of swearing it off, then find myself watching again. My partner and I experimented with it but have found it unhealthy for our relationship because it brings about issues like performance anxiety. While porn did help me get over a fear of the taboo topic of sex itself, it just wasn’t worth it overall. I still think about porn all the time; after a long day, it is easy to put it on to relax. But I fight that temptation because I know that I am happier in the long term without it.

Person B:

I first saw onscreen nudity watching a children’s movie, aged four – a woman’s breasts were shown – and I was filled with curiosity and confusion, but also fear of potentially getting in trouble for seeing something I wasn’t supposed to. I watched porn on and off from the age of nine till thirteen; initially, I would watch without masturbating, just trying to learn. Growing up, I researched the industry more and began to wonder if the actors were really that empowered, and how they had ended up in that line of work. Realising how superficial it all was, I sought “better” ways of viewing; shorter exposures to less graphic porn, looking at cartoons, GIFs or memes, or reading smut. I don’t watch porn at all anymore, I only feel tempted during periods of extreme burn-out and mental vulnerability when I feel like, ‘What’s the point?’ I wish I had gotten the sex talk much earlier than I did, as soon as I was capable of understanding the basics. The reality is that little kids do touch and play with their bodies and sex shouldn’t be treated as this big secret. Children should be taught to understand how their bodies work, and how to protect them well.

a new dawn on relationships? 29

Person C:

I was introduced to porn at fifteen by my first boyfriend. He used it to set sexual expectations and compare me to other girls. This made me deeply insecure about my body; I stopped eating, struggled to get out of bed and became withdrawn and antisocial. Even now, if I see someone who reminds me of a girl from a video I saw, I mentally compare us. During my first few months at university, I would walk around campus with severe anxiety, convinced that people were staring at me because they knew that I wasn’t good enough. From the content my ex was watching, violence and abuse became a sexualised part of our relationship. I was afraid of not agreeing to the things he wanted because I knew that if I didn’t, he would just watch it in porn. There were many moments in the relationship when I just thought, “What the f*ck am I doing? What the f*ck is he doing?” Whenever I confronted him, he would respond by switching between two extremes: hardly touching me for days, or suddenly becoming hypersexual and wanting sex three or four times a day. It left me exhausted and confused. If I could tell my younger self something, it would be that I am not the problem. I was so in love with my ex that it was hard to see anything outside of pleasing him. I would tell myself to stop agreeing to his compromises, to be firmer with my no, and break up with him.

Pornography affects everyone; our interaction with it directly impacts our relationships – platonic, romantic and even familial. Whilst the presence of pornographic material is almost inescapable in internet culture, there is a unique power in sharing these vulnerable stories and shedding light on mistakenly shame-filled experiences. Whatever your story with porn is, you are not the only one.

Illustrations by Maia McGill

A NEW DAWN When the weight of this life leaves me distraught, When my hopes for a better world, for change Seem to be a distant flame, cruelly quenched By those who seek to keep us all in gloom, I remind myself that soon, still sooner Than you, or I, or certainly they think, A new light shall emerge, one so brilliant It cannot be ignored - so very bright It can never be extinguished by those Who believe cold shadows should be our lot. This burning light shall bring a kind new world Of love, not profit; of peace, not power. The Dawn shall come, and will renew us all We all must usher it in, herald it. Rafi Z. O’Neill

@rafizoneillpoetry

Illustrations by Dharma Austin

NEXT CHAPTER Three RAZZ writers share their connections to the albums that marked the dawn of new chapters in their lives.

Hypersonic Missiles, Sam Fender

Sam Fender’s 2019 debut album Hypersonic Missiles is the perfect combination of politically relevant social commentary and a supercharged record, sonically reflective of British rock at its finest. For me, it was the album that soundtracked my experience of sixth form, and has carried me through my university years as both an easy-listening staple, and a series of thumping Springsteen-inspired bangers. “It was the album that soundtracked my experience of sixth form, and has carried me through my university years.” Drawing influence from his upbringing on a council estate in North Shields, the singer-songwriter strays from the traditional poster boy path through his rock vocals, which uphold a North-East twang.

It is these heartfelt elements that make the album what I would argue is the perfect debut; simultaneously hopeful and nihilistic, principled and self-deprecating. Four years on from its release, Hypersonic Missiles is an album which I feel is important to return to, and that offers something striking on every listen. “Fender’s dedication to addressing social and political issues sets him apart...” Maya Fernandes, Copy Editor

songs, Adrianne Lenker

When I hear the echoing opening chords of Adrianne Lenker’s songs, I’m immediately transported back to my dark morning commutes of October 2020.

Lenker, best known as the lead singer and songwriter in the indie-folk quartet Big Thief, recorded the entire solo album from a secluded wooden Fender’s dedication to addressing social cabin in the Massachusetts mountains and political issues sets him apart from using minimal equipment. As a his indie-rock contemporaries; he sixteen-year-old navigating contributes a new awareness of male independence during pandemic suicide in the track ‘Dead Boys’ and the lockdowns, it’s no coincidence that the feeling of small-town frustration in the album’s themes of loneliness resonated likes of ‘Saturday’ and ‘Leave Fast’. with me.

“It’s no coincidence that the album’s themes of loneliness resonated with me.” The record is a collection of understated reflections on heartbreak, family and the past, laying bare Lenker’s enigmatic lyricism. On ‘zombie girl’ the singer questions: “Oh, emptiness tell me about your nature, maybe I've been getting you wrong,” which sounds just as raw three years later. Her acoustic vocals are unpolished while ambient birdsong and windchimes filter in, creating an intimate DIY feel. It’s the kind of album that isn’t immediately striking, but requires patience for the sparse instrumentals to unfold. I often return to it in autumn when I'm feeling contemplative. Though my life is very different now from when I discovered the album, each track is a comforting reminder that isolation doesn't last forever. “I often return to it in autumn when I’m feeling contemplative.” Lucy Facer

Stick Season: We’ll Be Here Forever, Noah Kahan

If you have spent any time on the indie folk music side of TikTok you would have heard of Noah Kahan, more specifically snippets from his latest album Stick Season: We’ll Be Here Forever.

If you have yet to experience the joy of listening to the entirety of Stick Season, you are missing out on a lyrically beautiful folk album. The album includes a mix of catchy tracks, like ‘Dial Drunk,’ which invites the listener to scream along to the bridge, and tender slow songs like ‘Halloween’ and ‘Orange Juice,’ whose lyrics bring listeners close to tears. “If you have yet to experience the joy of listening to the entirety of Stick Season, you are missing out.” My personal favourite track is the ‘View Between Villages - Extended Edition’, which is the last song on the album. This song has deep personal meaning to me. Kahan constructs a heart-wrenching lyrical masterpiece that encapsulates the soul-crushing loneliness of leaving your childhood home. As someone who lost both their childhood dog and their childhood home this summer, this song carved its way into my soul. It perfectly expresses how it feels to grow up. “Kahan constructed a heart-wrenching lyrical masterpiece.” I have no doubts about Noah Kahan’s place at the top of my Spotify Wrapped for 2023; his music will always hold a special place in my life. Maddie Conlan

Dawn of the ‘Cool Queers’ RAZZ Deputy Online Editor Lara Iqbal Gilling explores why solidarity within the LGBTQ+ community is more important now than ever.

I’ve had enough of hearing queer people mock pride flags and rainbow outfits. Let’s talk about it. When your community is dispersed and fearing persecution, strength can be found in counterculture catchphrases and unwavering support of each other’s queerness. It is difficult to establish a community-wide hierarchy in this situation – inclusion is the social and political goal; stratification would be detrimental to the cause. But now the wonderful thing that is mainstream acceptance has graced the UK LGBTQ+ community, our united front seems to have fragmented. “The wonderful thing that is mainstream acceptance has graced the UK LGBTQ+ community.”

Gay and trans people often garner a large audience on social media, but the feedback they receive tends to be appearance-based. It’s mostly a cis and straight viewership that comments on queer people’s self-expression, judging where they rank on the ladder of palatability. At the top of this ladder sit the “straight-passing” queer people who might have a quirky fashion sense and other privileged qualities like being thin, white and conventionally beautiful. At the bottom are those who often receive hateful feedback and are most far-removed from the aforementioned characteristics. To our detriment, these ideals are infiltrating queer spaces. Queerness is an identity that inherently includes a sort of “otherness.” Attempting to crush it into conformity with the norm is a contradiction in terms. “Queerness is an identity that inherently includes a sort of ‘otherness’. “

Organisation of queer people based on appearance and external expression is no novelty – the terms “butch,” “stud,” “femme” etc. are well-woven into the fabric of the rainbow flag. The key difference here is the ordering of groups based on perceived “coolness,” quite different from the egalitarian nature of the long-established labels. I think this is partly due to (say it with me) capitalism: my favourite root of all evil. Once-powerful protest slogans are touted by avaricious corporations every June, reduced to catchphrases on t-shirts and tote bags. Associating bold pursuits of equality and diversity with cheap merchandise has dissipated their original energy and strength. “Love is love” has become tired and kitsch, relegated to ugly pride apparel in untrendy shops. Because, let’s be honest, the pride lines are always so hideous. “‘Love is love’ has become tired and kitsch, relegated to ugly pride apparel in untrendy shops.” Of course, judging someone as uncool doesn’t mean you think they don’t deserve rights. It’s not a crisis.

But, in assessing them as less worthy because they conform better to cishet standards, you are acknowledging that guideline as admissible. It is harder to fight against the tide of incoming anti-trans vitriol (looking at you, Rishi Sunak) when we are seeing the world through cishet goggles. As we come into this era of increasingly snap judgements on social media, it might be wise to keep those biases in mind. “[In] this era of increasingly snap judgements on social media, it might be wise to keep those biases in mind.“ I don’t mean to chastise, but a reminder to be a little kinder never goes amiss. There is an inevitability to this division; it happens in every sizeable community. But in the current climate in which the LGBTQ community are being weaponised to divide the voting population, it is important to foster an environment of inclusion and appreciation. Flippant jokes about how ‘cringe’ you find explicitly gay and trans symbols can be damaging. You never know who’s listening.

We are Nurture-U: a huge national research project that wants to find better ways to support university students with their mental health and wellbeing. There are 6 universities taking part – Exeter, Cardiff, King’s College London, Oxford, Newcastle, and Southampton. The project is funded by the Medical Research Council, the Arts and Humanities Research Council, and the Economic and Social Research Council.

BOUNCE BACK This includes a workbook which can help you build resilience skills. You will also work with a therapist coach.

The project is testing different therapies and self-help programmes in three different research trials, and we need students to help test these for us!

REDUCING WORRY AND BUILDING CONFIDENCE This is a self-help app, which has also been designed with the help of students. It will teach you ways to reduce worry and overthinking, to help you make the most of student life.

The therapies are designed for students and all have evidence to show that they can work – so it’s a great opportunity to get some support. You’ll also get shopping vouchers for taking part, and can feel smug that you’re helping improve support for future students!

INTERNET COGNITIVE-BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (CBT) This is for students who already have some symptoms of anxiety and depression. You will help us test whether self-help or therapist-guided Internet CBT works best for different students.

HELP WITH PROJECTS There are three projects you might be able to help with:

You can see if you are eligible to take part in any of the projects, and find out more information, on the study website: https://www.nurtureuniversity.co.uk/ research-trials. Please find out more at our Instagram, or email nurture-u@exeter.ac.uk if you have any questions.

Photography by Poppy McClenaghan Illustrations by Maia McGill

Razz online

Originally published online at: www.razzmag.co.uk

EDITORIAL TEAM, LIFESTYLE

Beating the Winter Blues Razz writer Elena Ingram shares her advice for surviving the oncoming winter months. There is something uniquely melancholy about walking down Sidwell Street in the pitch black, wondering why Waterstones is still open at the witching hour. The witching hour, of course, is now 5pm, but winter has ensured that time has stopped existing in all meaningful ways. My job, then, is to tell you to enjoy the winter and the opportunities it brings, to be grateful that Waterstones is still open as a haven from the storm. To know that the stretch of winter months is ahead, with its cold and dark presence looming, yet I’ll help you find your little pockets of warmth anyway. So, prepare for an onslaught of ceaseless optimism, as I try my best to dish advice on surviving the winter months. “Know that the stretch of winter months is ahead, with its cold and dark presence looming, yet I’ll help you find your little pockets of warmth anyway.“

1. The Melodies! The first step to loving winter can be found through the advice of one of TikTok’s favourite phrases: romanticise it! When the cold feels bitter and the wind has turned your umbrella inside out one too many times, there is nothing to do but find the beauty, and humour, in everything. My favourite trick for getting through the many rainy walks is to take out a good pair of headphones and plug into a good playlist. It keeps the ears warm, wards away boredom and, with the right set of songs, can make you feel like you’ve waltzed into your very own winter wonderland. Everyone is allowed their own preferences, but here are some of mine to get you started on your idyllic walks through the blizzards:

Tiny Things, Tiny Habits. With its heavenly harmonies, this EP is almost guaranteed to make your heart sing. My personal recommendations, ‘tiny things’ and ‘hemenway’, give a particular glimpse into its magic. Give Me A Minute, Lizzy McAlpine. Though an album dotted with melancholic songs, tracks like ‘To the Mountains’ and ‘Apple Pie’ capture peace and joy in perfect amounts, framed by Lizzy’s exceptional voice.

2. Arts & Crafts! The bitter cold serves as the perfect weather for one of my favourite activities: knitting. There is no better time to knit or crochet yourself a jumper, scarf, or hat, than the time of year you most need them. The internet is your friend here; it’s easy to learn all sorts of crafts through YouTube and there are plenty of patterns out there for you to try in order to make your very own creations. Also, bragging rights: it’s a unique kind of flex to be able to say you made one of your items of clothing. Give it a try! “There is no better time to knit or crochet yourself a jumper, scarf, or hat, than the time of year you most need them.”

3. Movie Nights! Even the sky getting dark early can bring its benefits: more hours in the day for the perfect movie night - no pesky rays of sun blocking the scene, making darkly-lit scenes impossible to see. When the hours of dark begin to feel hopeless, use them to your advantage instead. Your laptop/TV is your friend; curl up with a good movie and let the cosiness seep in. Wrapped up in a blanket, surrounded by good people, you can enjoy the best parts of winter: its comfort and nostalgia. “Wrapped up in a blanket, surrounded by good people, you can enjoy the best parts of winter: its comfort and nostalgia.” Winter can feel exhausting, borderline never-ending and brutal. But it is survivable. Lean on the people you care about, watch the things you love, engage your artistic side, and let music transport you to feel the beauty in everything. The dark might be long, but with fairy lights on it’s hard not to feel its magic. Image Source: Pexels

DAWN

PLAYLIST

RAZZ Treasurer Lisette Reed recommends the best tracks to accompany you on those early morning treks to campus. As the mornings get darker and colder, it becomes much harder to find the motivation to get out of bed to go to lectures – why would I want to leave the comfort and warmth of my bed to go to an 8:30? I find that getting out of bed is always easier when you can pretend that you’re in a coming-of-age film, romanticising your morning routine and the walk up to campus. With this in mind, here is a collection of songs to help you get out of that rut and motivate you this winter.

1. 'There She Goes', The La's

To start your day, we have the famous ‘There She Goes’; a song that I, and many others, associate most with Gilmore Girls. At the beginning of the day, an opening song feels appropriate.

3. 'Like an Animal', Alfie Templeman

2. 'Just Go', Arlo Parks

As things start to move along, we have Arlo Parks. ‘Just Go’ is a relaxed song, yet still has a prominent rhythm. It’s sweet and smooth – easy to digest in the morning.

Another mellow song to start off your morning is ‘Like An Animal’. I find that more chilled-out songs help ease you into your morning routine.

4. 'Infrunami', Steve Lacy

Who doesn’t love a bit of Steve Lacy in the morning?

5. 'She's A Rainbow', The Rolling Stones

By this point, you’re beginning your journey up to class on campus. Exeter is, of course, known for its excessive hills, so picking a song you can walk to really helps to speed up the trek.

6. 'Witches', Alice Phoebe Lou

Alice Phoebe Lou is, in my opinion, one of the most transcendental singers of our generation. Her music makes you feel whimsical and, with its indie rock sounds, adds to the romanticising aspect of your journey.

8. 'Amoeba', Clairo

7. 'Linger', The Cranberries

You’re almost there, you’ve almost reached the top of the hill; time to embrace the coldness around you. Look at your breath and how you can see it in the cold morning sun, and smell the nature around you.

Now, it’s time for some Clairo. You’ve reached the top of the hill and are making your way to whichever building you have to go to. Each step you take is in time with the beat of this song.

9. 'I Think I Left the Stove On', Hotel Ugly

Time for some even more upbeat songs. With the sounds of Boy Pablo and the vocals of Steve Lacy mixed with The Driver Era, Hotel Ugly definitely sets you up for the day.

10. 'untitled 08 / 09.06.2014.’, Kendrick Lamar

The final part of your journey is accompanied by Kendrick Lamar and his iconic ‘untitled 08 | 09.06.2014.’ The song is upbeat and fun and will get you in the right headspace for that dreaded 8:30 lecture.

@lisettereed_

Illustrations by Jessie Fairclough Image source: rawpixel

Flash Fiction

She. She was like an early morning. She was damp, dewy, elegantly real. She orchestrated birds nestled between branches, voices loud enough to wake everyone at a campsite. She loved to make tea and stand in the sun like it was made for her. She saw beauty in things others despised. She journalled like it was an art form but she never, ever, let others know about these things. For, just like those who love early mornings, she knew that the spell would be crushed by the infinite impossibility of frank conversation. People, for all their many languages, have never been able to conjure words to describe how they feel and think inside. They say our heads are filled with words, but before that comes a spark. The beauty, love, and compassion in an early morning, tea drunk in a heavily grey back garden, squinting at the sun’s yellowing shine, sighing deeply in awe at the tiniest fraction of fields and trees – cannot ever be described in the same way as it feels. The Romantics saw her, nobody else saw her. Sublimity is in the inexpressible. Keats sat, for hours, listening to a nightingale, isolating himself from the rest of the world, dreamily translating liquid droplets of sublime thoughts into words as tangible as solid gold. And so, she tried. Of course, she did. She journalled late at night, perplexed by the calling to depict the inexplicable. She drew. Illustrations by Jessie Fairclough

Granted, the drawings she loved the most (the ones she genuinely put her soul into) always ended up seeming more like brown smudges. She drew a woman, always. She saw nature as effortlessly feminine, devoid of regressive masculine temperament. But even when she considered telling the girls about her thoughts, they always seemed to be left slightly less shiny, imperfect smudges. So, more often than not, she left these small, ineffectual moments for herself. She wrote them down, hoping somebody would resonate. Glimpsing a dragonfly was the best part of her day. But to her, that dragonfly represented opportunity, flight. As it sipped on the tiny pond at the end of her garden, she was reminded of nature’s cacophony. Like the dragonfly, she existed momentarily. She could remember seeing that turquoise dragonfly far more distinctly than she could see her father’s face when he was not in the same room. Memories are slippery. But she continues to exist. She has sprung, phoenix-like, from the dawn of girlhood. She flickers in the soul of every woman who truly feels. She gets angry when I spend too much time inside, starving, deficient in vitamin D. She gets me up in the morning and has me meditating like I know what that is supposed to feel like. She forces sentiment into verses: When it feels like this, like a light came on; to think I never knew it, till now. How relentlessly I resist her when she is inside my head. But she is in the little things in life, imposing appreciation, making certain the worst experiences will culminate in relief when I come up for air. She makes sure I never stop breathing. She makes me sip tea on dewy mornings. I’ll share her with you now if you’d like. Flash Fiction by Katie Matthews, Publicity Officer

REhEARsiNg DAWN Unnerving dusty hues, A lazy anticipation, I disrupt the beads of dew. Damp foliage; trampled on; Is that robin following me? Across the grass plots, Now I’m trout in a stream, Lost. It’s hot, not dawn again. Anna Gee

Illustrations by Dharma Austin

EVERLAsTiNg A burning orange that is ever-present, No matter the geography, a comforting travel companion. Place-to-place and year-to-year; new views of the same sunrise, The dawn is a constant in our lives. The sun has risen every day of history. It is more than a passive observer to the Jurassic era, To the time of monarchical rulers, to the modern age of strife and revolution. The dawn has signalled the beginning of each new day in history, the starter pistol of the race. We introduce the daybreak to our culture as it makes itself at home, The same sunrise every day and to every person, but we all see it differently. We are the creators of meaning, We welcome the dawn into our lives. The dawn is consistent, Encompassing travel and exploration, steadfast in its role, Observing the past, the present, and the future history the individual has yet to create, Again the dawn is constant. What we see in the sunrise is reliable and dependable, yet shaped by our meanings. Dawn is the everlasting backdrop to human life. Grace Edwards

Illustrations by Dharma Austin

DAWN TO DUSK QUIZ

1. You wake up in the morning and decide to go out for brunch. Where are you heading?

RAZZ writer Bethan Pepler helps you to discover your ideal day spent in Exeter, from dawn to dusk!

a Turtle Bay for bottomless brunch b Sacred Grounds c Boston Tea Party 2. You have heard that Exeter has some good vintage shops. Which one sounds like it has just what you have been looking for?

a Sobeys Vintage Clothing b The Real McCoy c A pop-up kilo sale 3. You need to find a birthday present for a friend. Where is the first place you look?

a Urban Outfitters b Maker Mart c Hyde and Seek 5. You then decide to browse a bookshop. Which one do you pick?

a Waterstones b Bookbag c Book-Cycle

4. After some shopping, you decide to stop for a break. Which café is calling your name?

a Starbucks b The Glorious Art House c Coffee #1 6. You’re getting hungry and it’s starting to feel like an Italian night. Where are you getting your pizza from?

a Bella Italia b The Flat c The Old Fire House

7. Now time for a Pub Quiz! Which one are you going to win?

a The Stoke Arms b Turk’s Head c Henry’s Bar

8. You decide to let the night continue; it’s time for a dance! Which is your club of choice?

a Timepiece b Cavern c Fever

You are the life of the party. You always make it to social events looking great, even if you are running on four hours of sleep. In the daytime, you can be found continuing the fun at bottomless brunch and mentally preparing to head out later and do it all again!

You fit the independent scene. If you picked mostly Bs then you may have a creative flare and want to discover new and upcoming places. Exeter’s indie scene is not to be overlooked, so go explore the array of independent shops and cafés in the day, then get yourself to Cavern to see a gig or support a local band. You’re more laid back. Enjoying cute and cosy vibes may be more your style, so check out Hyde and Seek or Boston Tea Party and enjoy some shopping and good food with friends. You may be more chilled out, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t know how to have fun! By night, you can be found in Fever boogieing to some cheesy tunes in room two.

Bethan Pepler Illustrations by Jessie Fairclough

DAWN CROSSWORD 1

6 7

11 13

Crossword by Rosie Cope

16 17 18 19 20

ACROSS

18 Animal known for crowing at dawn (8) 20 Italian for dawn or surname of American actress Jessica (4) 22 Online auction site (4) 23 Damp and warm (5) 24 Small wooden house (6) 26 Another name for dawn (7) 28 Level of intoxication (11)

ANSWERS ACROSS - 1. enrobe 3. bidder 7. alkali 9. exe 10. beta 11. ever 12. geodes 15. whiny 17. Gaston 18. cockerel 20. alba 22. ebay 23. humid 24. chalet 26. sunrise 28. drunkeness DOWN - 1. era 2. Billie 3. breaking 4. Dibley 5. Ryan Reynolds 6. Leah Williamson 8. Liverpool 13. dusk 14. Scarlett 16. stigmas 19. chorus 21. Blair 25. eon 27. Eva

1 To coat (6) 3 Participant in an auction (6) 7 Compound such as lime (6) 9 River of SW England (3) 10 Second letter of the Greek alphabet (4) 11 'Happily ----- after' common ending in fairytales (4) 12 Hollow rocks lined with crystals (6) 15 Prone to complaining (5) 17 Main antagonist of Disney's Beauty and the Beast (6)

8 UK host city of Eurovision 2023 (9) 1 Historical period (3) 13 Opposite of dawn (4) 2 ------ Jean King, 14 -------- O'Hara (Gone tennis player (6) with the Wind) (8) 3 -------- Dawn, final book 16 Marks of disgrace of The Twilight Saga (8) upon a person (7) 4 The Vicar of -------, 19 Dawn ------- , singing comedy series starring of birds before dawn (6) comedian Dawn French 21 UK Prime Minister (6) from 1997-2007 (5) 5 Actor and co-owner of 25 A very long time (3) Wrexham A.F.C (4,8) 27 ---- Perón, First Lady of 6 Captain who led Argentina with a musical the Lionesses to victory based upon her life (3) at the 2022 Women's Euros (4,10)

DOWN

Posters by Jessie Fairclough and Eliza Strassheim

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