PP issue 8 by G&J Media

PINK PARENTING

THE world’s No.1 LGBT PARENTING Magazine

www.pink-parenting.com TWITTER # pinkparenting

issue 08 FEB/MAR 2013 £3.95 08

The stories, science and all things parenting for the modern family!!

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ISSUE 08

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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: EASTER ESCAPES i BABY DEVELOPMENT i TRUNKI i ANNABEL KARMEL i ASK THE DOCTOR

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2013 07 WE LOVE Packed with news, reviews, ideas for gifts, cool gadgets and fantastic gizmos,and also some great ideas for Mothers Day!

18 Q&A WITH... JAMES WHARTON James Wharton, the first openly gay man in the army, chats with us about his book, the importance of role-models in today’s society, and his thoughts on parenthood.

22 COVER STORY: ROSIE O’DONNELL In light of the recent addition to her family, we learn more about Rosie’s life, kids and how she has helped the LGBT parenting community.

28 10Thinking STEPSaboutTOadoption? ADOPTION Satwinder Sandhu from charity PACT explains what you need to know in ten easy steps.

30 BOOST YOUR CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT Baby expert Megan Faure, describes how important playtime is for your child and what you can do to help stimulate their development.

34 REAL LIFE STORY: RICHARD & TOMMY We hear from Richard and Tommy, and how Growing generations helped them achieve their dream of having their very own family.

38 EUROPEAN EASTER ESCAPES With England braced for more bad weather, we have found some hot and sunny European destinations for you to get away with the kids.

45 Annabel WINTERKarmel WARMERS shares a selection of her most delicious seasonal recipes, perfect for the whole family, even the fussiest of eaters.

51 Trunki BEHIND THE BRAND: TRUNKI is now synonymous with kids travel. We find out more about the innovative luggage brand, the people behind the scenes and what we can look forward to in 2013.

55 YOUR LEGAL QUESTIONS ANSWERED Law firm Finers Stephens Innocent answer more of your parenting related legal questions.

56 ASK THE DOCTOR Dr. Leondires replies back to some of your medical questions and shares some good advice along the way.

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FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2013 www.pink-parenting.com TWITTER # pinkparenting

PINK PARENTING

THE world’s No.1 LGBT PARENTING Magazine

issue 08 FEB/MAR 2013 £3.95

The stories, science and all

things parenting for the

modern family!!

ISSUE 08

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: EASTER ESCAPES

ING.COM WWW.PINK-PARENT

KARMEL i ASK THE DOCTOR i BABY DEVELOPMENT i TRUNKI i ANNABEL

Group Publisher Jeff Crockett Managing Editor Giorgio Severi Art Editor Damian Browning Contributors Megan Faure, Louisa Ghevaert, Annabel Karmel, Dr. Mark Leondires, Caroline Kelly, Satwinder Sandhu. Business Advisor Thomas Taylor Interim Sales Manager Carlo Mendez Freelance Sales Susan Calatayud, Pier Minole Accounts Manager Jennifer Bailey

Welcome to Pink Parenting We are excited and proud to be sharing Issue 8 with you, full or great real-life stories, interesting articles and useful tips to help you be the best parent you can be! With the great news that Rosie O’Donnell has adopted a baby girl with wife Michelle Rounds, we discover more about the comedian and her tireless efforts to advocate LGBT parenting. We chat with James Wharton about his time in the army, his new job as a rolemodel to the younger LGBT crowd and his own parenting plans. Gay Dads, Richard and Tommy, tell their story about how they went from a being a couple to a family of four with the help of Growing Generations, and our Behind the Brand tells the story of Trunki and their innovative range of products designed specifically for children on the go. Now that we are available on iTunes and Android, reading Pink Parenting couldn’t be easier, so why not sit back, download a copy and enjoy our magazine. Happy reading! Team PP

Legal Advisor Samuel & Davies Client Liason Officer Connie Wilson Printed in the UK by The Magazine Printing Company using only paper from FSC/PEFC suppliers. www.magprint.co.uk Advertising Enquiries advertising@pink-parenting.com Contact details: Pink Parenting Magazine Suite 318, Building 50, Argyll Road, London SE18 6PP Tel: 0843 2895844

www.pink-parenting.com

Annabel Karmel

Dr. Mark Leondires

Caroline Kelly

Annabel is the UK’s leading child

Mark is Medical Director at Reproductive

Caroline is a member of the family law

nutritionist and best-selling author of

Medicine Associates of Connecticut

team at Finers Stephens Innocent.

books on feeding babies & children.

and is board-certified in both Obstetrics

She specialises in all aspects of private

Annabel was awarded an MBE in

and Gynecology and Reproductive

family law, including international and

June 2006 for her outstanding work

Endocrinology and Infertility. He is also

domestic children law, residence,

in the field of child nutrition.

a husband and a dad to son, Luke.

co-parenting, surrogacy and adoption.

Satwinder Sandhu

Megan Faure

Louisa Ghevaert

Satwinder is the Director of Adoption

Megan is specialised in both sensory

Louisa is a expert in fertility and

and Fostering at PACT a voluntary

integration and neurodevelopment

parenting law. Her knowledge covers

adoption agency. He has worked

therapy, and treats babies with

international and UK surrogacy,

in both the local authority and

sensory integration difficulties,

donor conception, co-parenting and

voluntary sectors and frequently

including extreme fussiness, poor

embryo storage. She also regularly

chairs Adoption Panels.

sleep habits and feeding problems.

speaks at UK fertility sector events.

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THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS

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THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS

A BOY AND HIS MOOSE

EXQUISITELY ILLUSTRATED, WITTY AND thought-provoking, this picture book from Oliver Jeffers explores the concept of ownership and friendship through a child’s eye. Young Wilfred thinks he owns a moose called Marcel, and follows him around reading aloud the rules of How to Be a Good Pet. Marcel is excellent at some of them, but is Marcel really Wilfred’s pet? A heart warming lesson in ownership and sharing, and the perfect present for any child.

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KIDS COST THE COST OF RAISING A CHILD TO THE age of 21 has now reached £222,000, with parents paying 58% more than a decade ago thanks to the spiralling cost of education. University fees and childcare costs remain the biggest sources of expenditure, with 76% of parents being forced to make cuts to meet the financial demands of raising their offspring. The overall figure is more than £4,000 up on 2012 and £82,000 more than 10 years ago when the first annual Cost of a Child Report was published.

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CRAZY CARS

ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

THE DIDICAR IS A UNIQUE, SELF PROPELLED RIDE-ON THAT ENCOMPASSES ALL the elements of the perfect toy. With it being self propelled it means that it is

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SEE MORE AT WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

A BUGS LIFE INTRODUCE YOUR CHILD TO THE WORLD OF robotics with the HEXBUG toys. Available in a

range of different creepy crawlies and colours, each robotic toy reacts to either light, sound or touch. Our favourite is the larva, which slithers in a rhythmic flexing motion sensing oncoming obstacles, quickly changing direction as it sees fit. www.hexbug.com, from £10.99

INSTANT IMAGES

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COWABUNGA, TURTLE POWER

PORN WATCHING STRAIGHT MEN SAY ‘I DO’ TO GAY MARRIAGE According to a new study, the more porn straight men watch, the more it opens up their mind to be accepting of ‘non-traditional’ sexual situations. Professor Paul Wright, co-author of the report says “Since sexual attitudes come from the media, it makes sense that pornography viewers would have a more positive view towards same-sex marriage”

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FOLLOWING THE SUCCESS OF ITS MARVEL AND DC SETS, LEGO IS turning its attention to perhaps one of the most famous indie comicsturned-multimedia juggernauts of all time, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, bringing the action-packed adventures of Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael and Leonardo to life in Lego form.

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THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS

THE KIDS COOKING CO. ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

WHEN IT COMES TO PLAY TIME IN THE KITCHEN, THESE guys have got it covered. The Kids Cooking Company

have designed a fantastic range of children’s mixing bowls, spoons, aprons, chef’s hats and loads more, each with their own name and caricature for your kids to practice their skills. And now you can buy the dinosaur cookie set or the cupcake baking set which includes everything your budding little chef needs to cook up some very tasty treats! www.thekidscookingcompany.co.uk, Starter Sets from £16.99, Apron & Hat £12.50, Betty bowl £5.50, Sammy Spoon £2.25

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THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS Teatime back at the ranch is about to get even tastier for little tums with Annabel Karmel’s new delicious, nutritious time-saving Smokey BBQ Chicken and Rice meal. Taste-tested by toddlers and packed full of flavour, using only the best natural ingredients with no added salt, sugar or preservatives, the yummy dish joins Annabel’s eight existing toddler meals for children aged 1-4.

CREATURE BAGS OF STYLE FOR COMFORTS LITTLE EXPLORERS THESE ADORABLE LITTLE SLIPPERS FROM Sonia Spencer are made from Tibetan lamb’s

THE LATEST MUST HAVE IN THE TRUNKI RANGE ARE THEIR NEW WATER RESISTANT sea-life themed backpacks for little explorers. Preventing damp swimming gear leaking

wool which has been dyed into different shades, and then shaped with soap and water into the desired form with no other chemicals used. Available in a variety of charming animal characters, and they come in adult sizes too!

through, and made from lightweight and durable material, features a break-away safety buckle, reflective trim, and functional pockets. The PaddlePak is the perfect partner for days out to the beach or pool. www.trunki.co.uk, from £19.99

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LEA MORE ARBNOUT TRUNKI ON PAGE 51

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THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS SWEDISH BRAND ME&I ARE LAUNCHING their latest collection, full of colour and fun!

SWEDISH STYLE

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It comprises a children’s range with sizes from newborn to 12 years as well as a ladies range. In bright colours and cool prints, the durable and mainly unisex children’s clothes are made for play, tried and tested by a panel of children. The ladies clothes are stylish, really versatile and with a great fit. All me&i clothes are made in European factories that care for their workers and the environment. The baby range uses organic cotton and the whole range is Öko-tex labelled, guaranteeing the clothes are free from harmful chemicals. me&i’s clothes are sold through fashion parties and private viewings organised by a team of independent personal shoppers. me&i are now looking for more outgoing and driven people to join this growing team and hoping to find some amongst the fashion conscious Pink Parenting readership. ‘Currently, all our representatives are mums, but we’re hoping to soon welcome some dads too’ says Pernilla Kemp, from me&i UK. For more information, to find a representative in your area or to send in your application visit the me&i website. www.meandi.eu

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This gorgeous bone china mug with cute cupcake design can be personalised by adding upto 3 lines of up to 20 characters on each line and up to 5 kisses on 4th line, the perfect gift for Mother’s Day! www.tch.net, from £9.99

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FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

Q&A WITH...

After serving 10 years in the Army, Trooper James Wharton has written a book about his experiences in the UK forces as the first openly gay soldier. We recently caught up with James and chatted about his inspiration behind writing his book, why being a role model is so important to him, and if there are any plans for him to become a Dad.

Q. Right, first off. How did you meet your other half and was it ‘love at first sight’?

ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

JW: It was love at first sight..... I guess. We met through Gaydar in my hometown of Wrexham. I’d been in the army for three years by then and was looking for someone to meet back home on leave. We went on a date and hit it off immediately. It’s bizarre because we’d grown up less than two miles apart, but it wasn’t until I’d moved away and lived in London that we met. I think know some people turn their noses up when online dating is mentioned, but without it, Thom and I would probably never met.

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Q. Do you have plans become a Pink Parent in future?

Q. Did you have a role model growing up? Who was it and why?

Q. What inspired you to write your book about being out in the army?

JW: I’m 26 now, and I have to say, I’d love to be a father by the time I’m 30. I’ve been really put off the commitment due to being a soldier, and Thom knows best how much that can cause problems in a relationship; always having to put the job first etc. Now I’m leaving the Army, it’s very clear in my mind that I’d love to be a Dad, and something we want to look into as a couple.

JW: I’ve always be drawn to Sir Elton John. I was a crazy fan as a kid, which you might think is odd, but I also loved Tina Turner’s music and Meat Loaf, so it’s fair to say that my music taste was different to most as a kid. With my first ever pay packet at the age of 13 from the chip shop I peeled potatoes at, I bought Elton’s 50th Live at Madison Square Gardens album and played it constantly for

JW: I think being a role model and somebody who’s become a fairly public personality, I felt writing down my experiences within the army along my decade long journey was crucial. There isn’t a book anywhere about being a gay soldier in the British Army... So I’m very proud about that. I hope people can draw from the experience, although I’m fully prepared for the usual criticism I get from the same old characters. What matters to me is that in the future, a child or grandchild can go to a library and read my story.

WHILST UNDERTAKING A NATIONWIDE SCHOOL TOUR WITH STONEWALL, I’VE REALLY ENJOYED THE INTERACTIONS I’VE HAD WITH KIDS OF ALL AGES. I’VE FOUND IT FASCINATING MEETING YOUNG PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE COUNTRY AND FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS. Q. Have you had much experience with children and do you think you have what it takes to be a father? JW: I have always been good around kids. I have two nieces and a nephew and I love them to bits. Outside of family life, whilst undertaking a nationwide school tour with Stonewall, talking about homophobia and discrimination, I’ve really enjoyed the interactions I’ve had with kids of all ages. I’ve found it fascinating meeting young people from different parts of the country and from different backgrounds.

Q. What qualities do you think you need to be a great parent? JW: I guess the biggest thing is patience. After that I’d hope it’s a calm head with a good dollop of humour. My parents did a great job of letting me be myself, that’s something I’d certainly want to do for my own kids.

Q. Where did you grow up and were you popular at school? JW: I wasn’t really popular at school at all. I grew up in the fairly rural setting of Wrexham in north Wales. Its a million miles away from London in many ways. I have to say, I didn’t particularly enjoy school... I got my kicks, and my friends out of the Army Cadet Force, a youth group for 13-17 year olds.

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about a year. Moving through my teens and into my twenties, my sexuality became prominent for me personally, again, Elton remained an icon and role model, but by then I’d realized what it was I liked about him, it was was his authentic ways and the manner in which he wore his sexuality on his sleeve. Incredible!

Q. What attracted you to a career in the army was it a family tie? JW: Not really, although my grandfather was a Japanese POW which was a huge part of my growing up. I actually joined the army because of the experiences I’d had as an army cadet. All my friends, who were always older than me, joined the army at the earliest chance from the cadets. When I reached 16, I wanted to do exactly the same thing. So I did.

Q. What was being in the army like as an openly gay man, were you treated differently? JW: I think it’s fair to say that I was treated a little differently to begin with. The hierarchy in particular tip-toed around me. But the boys have always been great. I think it’s a true testament to the youth of today, the play station generation, who are generally speaking, forward moving and quite liberal. The older, more traditional members of the army, I think were the people who had the issues and so created the issues.

Q. What have you learned about yourself from writing your book? JW: I’ve experienced incredible emotion whilst going through the process. I’ve definitely found an appetite to write, and I would like to continue. I’ve also learned that things take their time and writing a book doesn’t happen overnight.

Q. Do you think your army discipline will change how you will be as a Dad? JW: I think discipline is a very necessary part of growing up and life in general. The army has certainly installed it in me at a high level, but I certainly won’t be recreating the army environment I’m leaving behind. High levels of discipline are needed in the army; at home and with a family you love, I don’t think the same is required. Yes I’d be a disciplined father, but I’d be a very liberal father at that, exactly the same as my father was with me. I wouldn’t want my child growing up frightened of their own shadow. I’d want an environment that allowed expression and openness.

Q. After launching your book, what are your plans for the future? JW: Well, I have loved writing the book, and like I said, it’s something I want to continue in. With the ongoing work challenging people’s ideas and feelings towards gay and lesbian people, I’d love to work more with youngsters in schools. Stonewall and Diversity Role Models and both have excellent programmes in place promoting diversity in the classroom. I have a natural appetite to want to continue being involved in this. James’ book, published by Biteback, ‘Out in the Army: My Life as a Gay Soldier’ is released in June. Available from Amazon.co.uk

FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

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CELEBRITY SPOTLIGHT

WORDS_ LOUISA GHEVAERT

Most know Rosie O’Donnell as an actress, stand-up comedian or chat show host, but Rosie is also a prominent campaigner on a wide range of LGBT issues, including being a passionate advocate for the reform of US parenting law and legal equality for gay and lesbian parents. Here, we explore more about her rise to fame, her challenges as a parent of five and her accomplishments in helping the LGBT community.

n January 2013, actress, author and comedian Rosie O’Donnell announced to the world that she was the proud mother of newly-born Dakota, her fifth child. Dakota is Rosie’s first child together with her civil partner, Michelle Rounds. Rosie is perhaps best known for presenting the Emmy award-winning US television programme The Rosie O’Donnell Show, as well as a brief but eventful time as a moderator on the long-running panel show The View.

A LEAGUE OF HER OWN

Born in 1962, Rosie grew up in the small community of Commack, Long Island, New York. She was the third of five children. Rosie was a popular and successful high school student, where she was voted prom queen, senior class president and, tellingly, class clown. After graduation in 1980, Rosie enrolled at university in Boston where she found her true calling, albeit not through her studies.

ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

Throughout her freshman year, Rosie worked the Boston comedy clubs circuit. The late nights took their toll on her studies and, at the end of her first year, she dropped out of college to concentrate on her stand-up career. This was a brave move; the first of many in the years that followed. Early success took Rosie to Los Angeles. By 1988 she was hosting her own show, Stand-up Spotlight, a showcase for up-and-coming stand-up comedians. More mainstream opportunities followed, including a leading role in the short-lived Fox Network sitcom Stand By Your Man in 1992. The show enjoyed a run of just eight episodes but it was enough to provide Rosie with her major breakthrough. Later that year, she made her Hollywood debut in A League of Their Own, the ‘90s cult classic about an all-women’s professional baseball team, alongside Tom Hanks and Madonna. A string of box office hits followed, including roles in Sleepless in Seattle (1993) and a feature role as Betty Rubble, in The Flintstones movie (1994). »

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FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

Images ©Rosie O’Donnell / Rosie.com / Instagram

CELEBRITY SPOTLIGHT

THE QUEEN OF NICE

Rosie’s combined charitable donations are impressively estimated to exceed $100 million dollars. As her success grew, so did Rosie’s family. In 1997, she adopted her second child, Chelsea Belle. Later that year she was introduced to Kelli Carpenter, a television executive, and the couple became romantically involved. In 1999, Rosie and Kelli adopted their first child together, Blake Christopher and in 2002, Kelli gave birth to their donor conceived child Vivienne Rose. Later in 2002, Rosie made the decision to come out publicly, finally doing so in front of a live audience mid-way through a stand up routine at a benefit for Ovarian Cancer research. The announcement came just two months before the final episode of The Rosie O’Donnell show and represented a watershed moment in Rosie’s public persona and professional life.

In 1995 Rosie became a mother for the first time when she adopted baby boy Parker Jaren. She quickly found that the unstructured and chaotic nature of working in Hollywood was difficult to balance with her new responsibilities as a mother. In 1996, she therefore made the transition to television talk show host. It was a career change that took Rosie back east, to New York, with the offer of stability and financial security. It gave her creative control over her work, made her a household name, and provided an unparalleled platform to campaign for change and champion good causes. Warner Brothers’ The Rosie O’Donnell Show ran for six years with more than 1,000 episodes. Rosie collected six consecutive daytime Emmy awards for ‘Outstanding Talk Show Host’ along the way (beating Oprah Winfrey to the title five years out of six). The US current affairs magazine, Newsweek, dubbed Rosie the “Queen of Nice” on account of her light hearted interviewing style and warm rapport with the audience. The Rosie O’Donnell Show also gave Rosie a platform to promote the charitable causes closest to her heart and she developed a reputation for her philanthropic work. In 1996, having signed a lucrative deal with Warner Books, Rosie used the $3 million dollar advance to establish the For All Kids Foundation. This helps provide funding to smaller non-profits working with at-risk children and their parents and it has since donated almost $25 million dollars to more than 1,400 children’s charities across the United States. She has also given generously to military rehabilitation centres and the Hurricane Katrina clear up, whilst administering a second charity called Rosie’s Broadway Kids aimed at encouraging arts subjects in New York public schools.

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ROSIE THE ACTIVIST

Rosie has always been gay and this, she says, has been an open secret amongst the Hollywood press. However, this was not something she previously had reason or opportunity to talk about publicly. In subsequent interviews, Rosie explained that her recent experiences as a gay parent and those of other gay parents she knew had been her motivation for coming out. Rosie never shies away from the controversial, often using her celebrity status to raise awareness of serious subjects. However, following her coming-out the lines between her professional and personal life and her politics, began to blur. Her uncompromising stance on a variety of issues won her praise from many quarters and

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criticism from others. With her outspoken opinions, Rosie has at various times got into conflict with the National Rifle Association, the Bush Administration and even Donald Trump, on issues as wide ranging as gun control, the invasion of Iraq and the sexualisation of children. Rosie’s passion and commitment to LGBT rights, however, has been unwavering. In an interview with Larry King in 2002, Rosie explained that, for a good proportion of her adult life, she hadn’t suffered the kinds of discrimination that many other gay men and women experience on a routine basis. As a result, she hadn’t thought about her sexuality in terms that required her to talk about it openly. Things changed, however, as a parent. Prior to the birth of her fourth child, Vivienne Rose, Rosie and Kelli had for 16 months fostered a young girl, Mia born in1997, whom they’d hoped to adopt. However, their plans did not come to fruition because state law in Florida at the time (where Rosie and Kelly then lived), prohibited same-sex adoption (that law was successfully overturned in 2010). As a result, Rosie was forced to surrender Mia so that the state could find her an alternative permanent placement. Reflecting on events, Rosie said it was as if the state of Florida had proclaimed “You are unworthy because you’re gay.” From that point on, Rosie decided to do what she could to end the inequalities experienced by gay and lesbian parents across the United States of America. “The fact that I am gay has nothing at all to do with whether or not I can parent,” she told Larry King, continuing by saying “I am just as competent a parent as my sister, who’s heterosexual.” In a candid exchange watched by millions of Americans, Rosie strongly challenged Larry’s assertion that a child raised with two mums or two dads would be missing out, explaining more about her own childhood. Just days before Rosie’s 11th birthday, her mother died of breast cancer. With her father, a defence industry engineer, working long hours the O’Donnell children came to rely on the help of friends and neighbours who, collectively, raised Rosie and her siblings. It was, she said, a “non-conventional” upbringing: “I think there are a lot of ways to raise healthy, loving, stable children. And any child today who has two parents that love them is a fortunate child.” In doing so, she propelled same-sex parenting into mainstream media.

CO-PARENTING

In 2004, the Mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsom legalised gay marriage in the city, Rosie and Kelli were amongst the first to take their vows. This was at a time when there was ongoing political debate about a constitutional amendment that would, if passed, ban gay marriage. Rosie returned to regular daytime television in 2006, as a moderator on long-running women-orientated talk show The View. That same year, HBO premiered a documentary following The O’Donnell family as they set sail on the inaugural R Family Vacations cruise, Rosie’s latest charitable venture aimed at providing holidays exclusively for LGBT couples and families. For families, it was an opportunity to holiday with parents of similar experiences. For parents-to-be, there was the opportunity to meet LGBT families and learn more about gay parenting. »

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MARCH 4TH - 10TH 2013

LGBT Adoption and Fostering Week aims to raise awareness across the UK and encourage more people from the LGBT community to come forward and help provide much needed homes for children in care. There’s loads of information on how you can get involved in your area and there will be speakers who have already started the adoption process, to those who have been approved and have had children placed already. You never know, it could be the most fulfilling, and rewarding thing you have ever done!

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FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

The documentary eventually received three Emmy nominations. In 2007, the culmination of her philanthropic work, LGBT rights advocacy, and her social commentary landed Rosie on Time Magazine’s list of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. However, life weren’t so successful on the home front. The same year, she and Kelli separated. For almost ten years they had parented four children together, who were by that time aged 12, 10, 8 and 5 years old. Since then, Rosie and Kelli have co-parented their four children. In an interview with Oprah in 2011, Rosie explained that as a role model for LGBT families, she felt certain pressures to ensure her relationship endured despite the difficulties. Eventually, however, after much soul searching she came to the conclusion that it was important that gay and lesbian families were understood to be no different from heterosexual families. Admitting that it was a difficult step to take, Rosie nevertheless said, “I wanted to show people that gay families are just like every other family, and sometimes, divorce happens.”

LEGALITIES

As Rosie found, not least when her foster daughter was removed, the law isn’t always geared up to meet the needs of LGBT families. Although there’s been legal improvements in recent years, gay and lesbian parents need to take care to ensure their parental status and their family life is legally protected. Laws (particularly in the UK) still don’t reflect modern family structures, including those formed through known donation, co-parenting or surrogacy. This can leave children raised by LGBT families at risk, without legal relationships with their parents and this makes effective management of the legal issues important from the outset.

AN AMBASSADOR FOR LGBT PARENTING

Since Rosie gave that first interview in 2002, highlighting the discrimination faced by many same-sex parents, much has changed. Same-sex couples can now legally adopt in more than 20 US states. There are now just two states whose laws prohibit gay and lesbian couples from adoption: Mississippi and Utah. In 2009, it was estimated that there were 20,000 same-sex couples raising 30,000 legally adopted children in the US. Figures for 2012 suggest that there are still two million children in the US unable to establish a legal relationship with their LGBT parents, preventing those children from accessing the types of federal benefits that the children of heterosexual parents qualify for automatically. Rosie’s success in raising four happy and healthy children has done much to champion LGBT parents and to normalise samesex relationships in the public eye. Her very public experience has proven that there’s little separating the day-to-day lives of heterosexual and LGBT couples and parents. However, there’s still much to be done to update laws around the world to reflect contemporary family structures. Louisa Ghevaert is a leading expert in UK fertility, surrogacy, parenting and family law and a passionate supporter of parents, children and families. She is a partner with Porter Dodson Solicitors & Advisors www.porterdodsonfertility.com

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ADOPTION SPECIAL

Adoption is a great way for couples or a single person to become a parent, with lots of support for new parents from preparation, peer groups and post adoption help from experts. Satwinder Sandhu from PACT outlines the steps involved in adopting within the UK.

ISSUE 08 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

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wORdS_ Satwinder Sandhu

you better? Those living with children are likely to be offering a lively busy household, great for a sociable, extrovert child. However, some children need the attention available in a family where they can be an only child. You’ll learn lots more as you go along and have the opportunity to explore issues, themes and questions that you might have.

Step One – ReSeaRch

First off, search for a voluntary adoption and fostering agency in around you area. You can also adopt through your local authority. Except for your own expenses and a GP medical, there are no fees to pay to adopt within the UK. Preparing to adopt and gaining approval is a thorough process. it has to be. Your social worker will get to know you well as they will assess your child care skills and aptitude to empathise with a child. It’s important to feel comfortable with the agency that you choose. You can find out about adoption agencies at www.adoptionuk.co.uk and www.baaf.org.uk. New Family Social is a network for LGBT adopters and foster carers and their children. www.newfamilysocial.co.uk

Step twO – InfORmatIOn eventS

Step thRee – InItIal aSSeSSment

Once you’ve chosen an agency it’s time to start the ball rolling. They will collect basic details, send you detailed information on adoption and book an initial meeting with a social worker. The initial assessment will cover questions such as: why you want to adopt; what your child care experience is and your current circumstances. You can ask questions and the social worker will explain what’s involved. This initial assessment will evaluate your eligibility and suitability to become an adopter. The agency will then invite you to apply formally. If the application is accepted you will then proceed to the next stage. Some changes are being made to this process and are likely to take effect in April 2013.

Step fOuR – pRepaRatIOn GROupS

Step nIne – SettlInG In

Your social worker and the child’s will support you over the next few months. The initial euphoria of becoming a parent will wear off and you will learn to live as a family, playing and eating together and negotiating over behaviour and daily routines.

Step ten – adOptIOn ORdeR and beyOnd

This is a visit to court to make the adoption official. When the adoption order goes through you are now the legal parent of your child or children. Adoption is a lifelong commitment and agencies continue to keep in touch as and when is needed and can offer a range of expert post adoption support services.

Step fIve – aSSeSSment

Your allocated social worker will visit you at home to find out more about you, your experience of being parented and how a child will fit into your life. These visits are spread over a number of weeks at a pace to suit you. The social worker is collecting information about you which is then submitted to the Adoption Approval Panel. You will explore what kind of child will suit you and your lifestyle. Would a boisterous pair of siblings who like to play lots of sport match your energy levels or would a quieter studious child fit in with

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Step eIGht – meetInG yOuR chIld

The moment arrives to meet the child or children you have been matched with. They have been prepared by their foster family to meet their new mummies or daddies, and will have been shown pictures of you. You may only spend a couple of hours with them on the first day but over a week or so this will increase day by day, until the day for you to take them home to live with you for good. That is when the real work begins.

All applicants attend preparation groups. Usually these are run every 6-8 weeks. They introduce key parenting skills and specialist adoption topics such as promoting bonding and managing behaviour which is related to a child’s experiences prior to adoption. Everyone is in the same boat and nervous at first. Applicants in these preparation groups often remain friends throughout the process and long after adoption has taken place. The groups are always mixed in terms of gender, sexuality and ethnicity.

Step Seven – matchInG

Matching is the point when the process starts to get really exciting. You will be sent profiles of children who could be suitable, and the children’s social workers consider potential parents. It is highly emotional, but your social worker will support you. Agencies have excellent track records finding the right children for adopters. You’ll meet with the child’s social worker and hear much more detail about what the child is like. Potential matches are then considered by a local authority panel whose role is to make sure that the placement is in the best interests of the child and consider any support that may be required.

Information events last an hour or two and you can meet members of the adoption team and hear adopters’ stories. It is also a chance to gather more info and meet others wanting to adopt. These events will be advertised on adoption and fostering websites. PACT run a pioneering Dual Approval scheme where a child may be fostered before you adopt them so you will hear about this too.

Step SIx – adOptIOn appROval panel

The Adoption Panel is a meeting with professionals and people with experience of adoption to assess your application. They read your assessment report in advance and will ask you and your worker supplementary questions. In the vast majority of cases, applications which progress to this step are approved.

PACT is a voluntary adoption and fostering agency actively recruiting adopters and is supporting a growing number of LGBT adoptive parents and families. For more information phone 0300 456 4800, visit www.pactcharity.org or or come to PACT’s LGBT adoption talk in Reading on Wednesday 6th March or the New Family Social event in London on Friday 8th March, see website for further details.

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BABYSENSE SECRET

WORDS_ MEGAN FAURE

Parenting comes with many responsibilities, starting from the first day. One responsibility is that of ensuring that your baby develops to his maximum potential. However advice on how we achieve this goal of optimizing potential has varied over the past century. Megan Faure, co-author of the Babysense Secret and Pink Parenting’s expert in child behaviour offers some great tips and tricks on how to boost your child’s development.

n the early 1900s a well-known American developmental psychologist and paediatrician, Arnold Gesell, popularised the belief that a child’s development was predetermined by an inherited biological plan, which he called maturation, implying that the environment a child was brought up in would have little bearing on his development. This led to the belief that no amount of stimulation would impact on the outcome of the child and parents were advised to leave their baby to develop according to nature and that the need to stimulate a young children was deemed unnecessary.

STIMULATION IS ESSENTIAL

Luckily for all of us, in the mid-20th century, groundbreaking research with institutionalised orphans revealed that children who had no stimulation or personal contact displayed severe developmental delay. Suddenly we all woke up to that fact that the environment did indeed impact on a child’s development and since then there has been a great deal of research with animals and humans, which has reinforced this notion that an enriched environment positively results in an enhanced development and performance. As we realised the importance of environment in the outcome of child development, trends emerged that focused heavily on infant stimulation and enriched environments in the first year. In fact, by the end of the 20th century the »

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BABYSENSE SECRET LANGUAGE SKILLS 0-3 months – Speak to your baby a lot to enhance his language development. 3-6 months – Encourage him to talk back to you by repeating the sounds your little one makes. 6-9 months – Label everything in the environment. 9-12 months – Read to your little one every day. Make this part of the bedtime routine.

pendulum had swung from ‘leave well alone’ to ‘the more, the better’. And so began the frenzied seeking of every opportunity to stimulate our babies.

FINDING THE MIDDLE GROUND

It is time now to offer our children a more balanced view of stimulation, and for the pendulum to swing back to a sensible middle ground. This does not mean that we should sit back and do nothing for our children. Quite the opposite, we must learn how to be more creative in the stimulation we are offering. A baby never has more brain cells in his life than on the day he is born. However, it is the connections between these cells that are important for intelligence and coordination. These connections are formed and strengthened by sensory information and experience and so a certain amount of sensory input and fertile experiences are necessary for the brain to develop optimally. However when stimulation in the environment becomes overwhelming, the brain enters a zone of stress in which little can be learned and which is not optimal for enhancing development. An example would be the pressure of taking a driving exam for the first time. When stressed like this, we make more mistakes than when we are relaxed. It is this over-stimulated state and stressed state that many infants find themselves in, owing to the frenzy for stimulation. So what is needed is an enriched, but not over-stimulating environment and routine. Every child has a natural desire to develop and master his or her own world. You can, and should, harness this enthusiasm by providing an enriched environment and facilitating play, in order to enhance development.

2 3

HAVE A DAILY STIMULATION GAME for your baby to enhance his or her development. The best way to do this is to have a book or magazine that has a comprehensive list of stimulating activities. The Baby Sense Day-by-Day App for Apple and Android devices gives 365 daily activities for your baby. ENSURE YOUR BABY IS NOT OVER-STIMULATED BY; Settling him for regular sleeps. In this way, your baby will be refreshed and spend more time in the calm alert state, which is the essential state for learning. Watch for signs of over-stimulation. Your baby will signal when he has had enough by losing eye contact, looking away or pushing a toy away.

STIMULATION GROUPS CAN BE VERY USEFUL, but ensure your baby is not over-scheduled and taken from one stimulating environment to the next. 0-6 months – massage groups 6-12 months – baby gym or baby music groups Toddler – swimming

5 EASY STEPS TO ENHANCING DEVELOPMENT SENSIBLY:

. INCORPORATE DEVELOPMENT-ENHANCING ACTIVITIES INTO YOUR BABY’S DAILY ROUTINE. GROSS MOTOR SKILLS: 0-3 months – Whenever your young baby is awake, take him out of his car seat or pram and give him tummy time. 3-6 months – Prop your 6 month old up with cushions so that he will quickly learn to sit. 6-9 months – Ensure loads of mat time to encourage crawling. In addition, place toys just outside of his reach so that he is encouraged to move to get them. 9-12 months – Roll balls towards your toddler, encouraging ball skills.

While stimulation is vital and like most parents it is probably a priority for you, remember to keep a balanced view of this area of parenting. Do not pressurize your baby to achieve developmental goals, rather just enjoy the moments of emotional engagement, and the fun and games of being a new mom or dad can bring.

THE BABYSENSE SECRET

FINE MOTOR SKILLS: 0-3 months – Hang a toy above the change mat that he can take a swipe at to develop eye hand coordination. 3-6 months – Encourage grasping of various sized objects. Offer two at a time so that he learns to release one object to take the next. 6-9 months – Offer small sized soft finger food, to encourage the pincer grip. 9-12 months – Posting toys that encourage your little one to post an object into a hole develop coordinated hand use.

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LEAVE YOUR BABY TO PLAY ALONE (supervised but not being directed) as this is the best way to encourage your baby to explore his world and the toys in his own space.

Megan Faure is co-author of the Babysense Secret, available to purchase from www.hippychick.com,, £12.99

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Intelligent Profile Oregon Reproductive Medicine

WE WELCOME LGBT PATIENTS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD

to Europe. But today it’s common for these future dads to look closer at the data available through www.SART.com and base their selection on where they are most likely to have success. “It is a big decision to proceed with using a donor and working with a surrogate in the United States. So it’s imperative that patients do their homework and select a practice that is most likely to make their dream come true, and at a cost they can afford,” Jonathan Kipp, marketing director at Oregon Reproductive Medicine, says. Oregon Reproductive Medicine’s costs are often appealing to gay and straight European patients. The centre’s price plans are typically lower than infertility centres in larger US cities. Compensation for egg donors and surrogates also tends to be more affordable in smaller US cities, Kipp says. Some gay couples visiting Portland to become parents are nervous at first. After all, they are not only about to become parents but they are in a foreign country. “But they soon realise that being at Oregon Reproductive Medicine in Portland, Oregon, is about the best place they could be to move forward with their dream of a baby,” Kipp says. “We are confident that they’ll fall in love with Portland while they experience our unmatched personalised care.” Portland, home to a sizeable gay population including many couples with children, is considered one of the most gay-friendly cities in the US. “We are always happy to welcome our European patients,” Hesla says. “We not only have the opportunity to introduce them to an amazing part of the United States, but we get to watch their biggest dream come true. It doesn’t get better than that.”

ne of the most eminent infertility centres in the United States is experiencing a new following - European gay couples wanting to have a baby. Oregon Reproductive Medicine, located on the West coast in Portland, has nearly unmatched pregnancy success rates, likely the reason that same sex couples are choosing to start or grow their families at the Northwest centre. Oregon Reproductive Medicine’s four physicians, all specialists in reproductive endocrinology, work with patients from all over the globe in their well-known donor egg programme. “About half of our patients who want to have a baby via donor egg are from outside Portland,” Brandon J. Bankowski, MD, MPH, says. While Oregon is a popular tourist destination for international travellers, Bankowski believes that patients are coming to Portland for one reason, and it isn’t to see the Pacific Ocean! “They want success. That’s patients’ number one priority regardless of where they live in the world. And in their research about success rates, IVF, donor egg and gestational surrogacy programmes, they find Oregon Reproductive Medicine,” John S. Hesla, MD, says. The most recent data available from the US government shows that donor egg pregnancy success rates at Oregon Reproductive Medicine are nearly 80%, placing them near the top of all US infertility centres. European gay couples, often unable to proceed with using a donor’s eggs and surrogate in their home countries, are more and more looking to the United States for options. In the past, many patients selected centres in New York City and Boston because of their proximity

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For additional information about Oregon Reproductive Medicine’s services, or are interested in scheduling an appointment, contact: 2222 NW Lovejoy. St., Suite 304, Portland, Oregon USA 97210 Phone: 877-567-4994 or 503-274-4994 www.oregonreproductivemedicine.com

FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

REAL LIFE STORIES In the second of our series of real life stories featuring the stars of a new print campaign being run by surrogacy agency, Growing Generations, we meet Richard and Tommy, and their twins Aiden and Austin, who share their path to parenthood with us.

e met in 2000, at Richard’s birthday party which was being hosted by some mutual friends of ours, and stayed buddies for about a year before we started dating seriously. We have now been together for eleven years and legally married for four and half years of that time. If you remember, in 2008, same-sex marriage was made legal for about six months in California, and we were one of the lucky eighteen thousand that got married, and we are still legally married even though the laws have since changed back. We are really hopeful that things will change soon here in the US for same sex couples and that legal recognition may finally be given to those who wish to get married.

TALK OF CHILDREN

It can only have been a couple of years that we were together before the topic of wanting kids came up and we agreed that having a family was something we both wanted to pursue. Neither of us really knew how we would get our family, we just knew we wanted to give it our best shot. Around that same time friends of ours were going through the process of surrogacy which was great for us as we got regular updates on their journey and we could ask all the questions we had which opened up our eyes to the possibilities of us maybe using surrogacy to have a child.

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In 2004, we discovered a local parenting group called ‘The Pop Luck Club’, which is for gay dads. They were hosting an annual ‘resource and information’ day where lots of agencies attended and gave out their information, almost like a mini-conference, and that is where we first met ‘Growing Generations’.

FINDING THE FUNDS

At that time, conservative estimations for surrogacy were in the range of $100,000. This figure has gone up and down a little since then but for us it was a huge financial commitment which needed a lot of thought. Luckily we had some savings and we were able to get a second mortgage on our home which helped massively towards our surrogacy fees. All in all it took us two years to be financially ready to start the process and in February 2006 we signed up with Growing Generations. We had gone to see other agencies but really liked Growing Generations and it just felt right. They were so inclusive with their services and really experienced in all the problems that could crop up during the process and how to deal with them, which made us feel confident that we were in good hands. We also loved that the clinic was founded by gay folk, Will Halm and Gail Taylor, who had helped a lot of other gay couples achieve their dream so we felt completely relaxed and understood. »

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FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

REAL LIFE STORIES

LOOKING FOR A SUITABLE SURROGATE WITH SOMETHING AS DELICATE AND

It took about six to seven months to find the right surrogate for us. For many that sounds like a long time to wait but for us it worked out fine. We found that we had this nice built in time frame to get used to things. All of our friends were really supportive and we had three different baby showers which was great fun. They made sure that we were fully equipped with toys, clothes and bottles to look after an army of children! Growing Generations matched us up with a wonderful surrogate who was so easy going, and it wasn’t long before we were collecting eggs from our donor which we fertilised with both our sperm. Our first round was unsuccessful, but on our second attempt our Doctor told us that four embryos were viable and what did we want to do? Not knowing how many were going to develop into a baby, we chatted about the possibilities of having twins, triplets or more. Ideally we both wanted twins out of this and were lucky enough to have our dream come true. With something as delicate and intimate as surrogacy, you have to have a team around you that you can trust whole heartedly and even more so have that trust with your surrogate. We grew to love our

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INTIMATE AS SURROGACY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A TEAM AROUND YOU THAT YOU CAN TRUST WHOLE HEARTEDLY AND EVEN MORE SO HAVE THAT TRUST WITH YOUR SURROGATE.

surrogate and even if we were not with her all the time, we knew that she was taking good care of our twins. She was a natural at it, and we couldn’t have asked for a better match.

TAKING HOME THE TWINS

In August 2008, after excitedly attending several scans and doctors appointments with our surrogate, we welcomed our twin boys, Aiden and Austin, into the world. It had been a long 5 years of discussing, planning, saving and preparing, but finally we had got there, a milestone that changed our lives forever. A lot of our friends have asked if we know which baby belongs to whom, and of course we have our suspicions from behaviour or facial expressions that Aiden and Austin have, but to be honest we have never wanted to do a DNA test, because in our eyes they are both ours equally. It really doesn’t matter

to us who is genetically whose, they are both adorable and we love them to bits and nothing can ever change that. Yes, it’s sometimes scary to think that we are responsible for two little boys who, by the way, are growing up so fast. Every day brings a new set of challenges and experiences as a family which we love. We tried to do as much preparation for the transition from a regular couple to a family of four, but there is little that can really prepare you for the arrival of twins. It’s been a learning process for all of four of us from the start but having our own family is such a blessing to us and we count our lucky stars every day. Growing Generations is dedicated to building families through surrogacy, egg donation, and sperm donation. For more information please visit www.growinggenerations.com

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©Disney ©Disney. Based on the ‘Winnie the Pooh’ works by A.A.Milne and E.H.Shepard

Healthy snacking for kids from 12 months on

Available from all major supermarkets Hello I’m Annabel Winnie the Pooh & I have searched the hundred acre wood to bring you these tasty & healthy snacks for those little ones with rumblies in their tumblies. The range is naturally yummy, contains no artificial colours or flavours & made using only the finest ingredients so your toddler will have lots of energy for fun filled adventures.

PACK YOUR BAGS

Spending time away with the kids is essential as it gets you away from your everyday routine. With that in mind, we have found some fantastic hotels around Europe that will put a smile on everyone’s face this Easter.

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WORDS_ GIORGIO SEVERI

GRACE SANTORINI / SANTORINI

This exclusive boutique hotel and part of the award winning Grace Hotels Group is located in the beautiful setting of Imerovigli in the northwest of the island, high above the Caldera, the Grace Santorini is the perfect vantage point from which to view the famed Santorini sunsets that envelop the Aegean Sea, and the Cyclades Islands. All of the rooms have been carved into the rock and offer breathtaking views. The swimming pools are perfect for lazy days and the attractive bar serves refreshments throughout the day, light lunches or snacks are also available. What better way to chase those winter blues way? www.gracehotels.com

EKIES ALL SENSES RESORT / HALKIDIKI

The family owned and managed resort is situated in an area of outstanding beauty, sitting on the bay of Vourvourou. This hotel is a must for families who want to sample unspoilt Greece in all her splendour. www.ekies.gr

FRESH HOTEL / ATHENS

Downtown in the heart of Athens, Fresh Hotel is a stylish, urban resort, with unconventional atmosphere, cool and thoughtful service. Why not chill out next to the pool, with Athen’s famous Acropolis directly in view. www.freshhotel.gr »

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PACK YOUR BAGS

JUMEIRAH PORT SOLLER HOTEL / MALLORCA

Located on the picturesque, unspoilt and rugged northwest coast of Majorca, this hotel brings a new and unrivalled luxury to this beautiful Balearic Island. It goes without saying that from its cliff top location there are spectacular sea views. Be sure to venture out with the kids and explore pretty Port Soller with its sandy beaches, local bars, shops and restaurants. The resort itself may prove hard to leave, however, with its huge signature spa, several bars, restaurants and pools and relaxation areas to spoil yourselves. www.jumeirah.com

GRAND HOTEL BARCELONA / BARCELONA

This hotel offers a discreet and luxurious hideaway amid the bustle of Barcelona’s El Born district and oozes luxury, modern comfort perfect for you and your family. www.grandhotelcentral.com

HOTEL HOSPES MADRID / MADRID

Situated beside the Puerta de Alcalá, this hotel boasts, towering ceilings, oversize wooden doors, and moody modern lighting, ideal for a stylish yet comfortable break for all the family. www.hospes.com

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Eco REtREats – tIPIs & YURts DYfI foREst, walEs

Situated in a beautiful and remarkably remote location in the heart of the Dyfi Forest, Eco Retreats is the ideal place to escape the pressures of the outside world and find some space to reconnect with nature, to your loved ones and to yourself. Each tipi or yurt has its own toilet and shower unit and is situated on its own secluded spot so you can really make the most of the peace and quiet.

Porter Dodson’s Fertility and Parenting Law team provides bespoke cutting edge legal help and solutions to people across the UK and abroad. We can help create, support and protect your much wanted family no matter where in the world you are based. The Team is headed by Louisa Ghevaert.

www.ecoretreats.co.uk

Internationally recognised as a leading expert in UK fertility, surrogacy, parenting and children law, Louisa has pioneered the practice of fertility and parenting law in the UK. Her expertise covers international and UK surrogacy, donor conception, co-parenting, embryo storage, children and parenting, and gay and lesbian parenting. Contact Louisa Ghevaert Telephone: +44 (0)207 222 1244 Email: louisa.ghevaert@porterdodson.co.uk @LouisaGhevaert www.porterdodsonfertility.com

Take his breath away on a Swiss city break. Zürich

MySwitzerland.com/gaylesbian Discover the charm of our Swiss cities.

FLYING, SWISS MADE – SWISS.COM

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C HOTEL & SPA / LOMBARDY

Surrounded by grandiose villas, stands a marvel of modern minimalism: the C-Hotel & Spa, a stunning glass-and stone retreat just a few miles away from the beautiful Lake Como. www.c-hotel.it

ARGENTARIO GOLF RESORT & SPA / PORTO ERCOLE

DUOMO DESIGN HOTEL / RIMINI

Design Hotel Duomo in Rimini’s historical centre is a young yet luxurious boutique hotel conveniently located for easy access to all the local sites , bars and restaurants. www.duomohotel.com

ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

This luxury resort is located in the heart of the Maremma Tuscany between Talamone and Capalbio offering 73 rooms all equipped with every comfort and latest technologies. The suites are divided on three levels each of which features a different style. Establishing itself as one of the best hotels in Tuscany, it is sure to exceed expectations and fulfil your needs for a true Italian family holiday. Whether hanging out poolside with the kids, or immersed in a relaxing deep tissue massage, this hotel has everything you need for a perfect break away and more. www.argentariogolfresortspa.it/en

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WINTER WARMERS

MINI COTTAGE PIE

This cottage pie recipe is a my version of an old fashioned favourite comfort food perfect for the little ones during the winter months. Makes 3 portions Suitable for freezing

RECIPES_ ANNABEL KARMEL

In the grip of the winter weather here in the UK, what you really want when you come home after a hard day playing in the snow is something filling, hot and above all tasty. Once again Annabel Karmel has rustled up some of her delicious recipes guaranteed to warm up even the coldest of noses.

Ingredients • 100g / 4oz carrot, peeled and chopped • 225g / 8oz potatoes, peeled and chopped • 1 onion, peeled and chopped • 25g / 1oz red pepper, deseeded and diced • 1 small garlic clove, peeled and crushed • 175g / 6oz lean minced beef • 1 tbsp fresh parsley • 2 tbsp tomato puree • 100ml / 3½fl oz chicken stock • 1 tbsp olive oil • 15g / ½oz butter • 1 tbsp milk • 1 egg, beaten

Method Put the carrot into a saucepan, cover with boiling water and cook for 5 minutes. Add the potatoes and cook for a further 15 minutes. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a pan and sauté the onion and pepper for 3 to 4 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté for one minute. Add the minced beef and sauté until browned. Chop the meat in a food processor for a few seconds to give it a smoother texture. Return to the pan, add the parsley, tomato puree and stock, bring to the boil, cover and simmer for about 5 minutes. When the potato and carrot are cooked, drain and mash together with butter and milk until smooth. Spoon the meat into 3 ramekins approx 10cm diameter. Top with the mashed potato and carrot. Brush with a little beaten egg, then heat through in an oven preheated to 180C/350F/Gas 4, then place under a preheated grill until lightly golden.

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FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

WINTER WARMERS

BEEF CASSEROLE WITH SIX VEGETABLES

A baby’s store of inherited iron runs out after six months. Red meat is the best source of iron, the best way to introduce meat is to combine it with lots of root vegetables and cook it slowly so that it’s nice and tender, as babies often don’t like eating red meat. This delicious casserole doesn’t just have to be for little ones, make a big batch and leave some un-puréed for the rest of the family or even for friends coming over for supper!

Ingredients • 1tbsp olive oil • 1 onion, chopped • 60g celery, chopped • 100g carrot, diced • 120g slow cooking beef, eg: skirt or braising steak cut into chunks

• 2 tsp fresh thyme • 1 clove garlic, crushed

ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

• • • • • •

40g parsnip, diced 300g sweet potatoes, peeled and diced 1 medium potato 500 ml unsalted beef stock 2 tsp tomato puree 2 ready to eat prunes, chopped

Method Heat the oil in a saucepan. Add the onion, celery and carrot and gently sauté for 8 minutes. Add the thyme, beef and garlic and fry for one minute, then add the parsnip, sweet potato and potato.

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Add the stock, tomato puree and prunes. Bring to the boil, then lower the heat, cover and simmer for about 1 hour 10 minutes or until tender. Makes 4 portions Suitable for freezing

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Get Get expert expert Get expert fertility fertility fertility information information information and and support support and support online online with with online with Boots Boots WebMD WebMD Boots WebMD Let Let us us support support Let us support you you in in taking taking the the you in taking the first first step. step. first step.

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WINTER WARMERS This mix is wonderful to have on hand so that you can whip up a batch of pancakes quickly.

MULTI GRAIN AMERICAN STYLE PANCAKES

Ingredients • 100g rolled oats • 100g wholemeal flour • 100g plain flour • 55g caster sugar • 2 tsp baking powder • 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda • ¼ tsp salt Method Put all the ingredients in a food processor and whiz for 1 to 2 minutes until the oats are finely ground. Transfer to an airtight container and store in a cold and dry place

Plain Pancakes To 90g mix, add 1 egg and 6 tbsp milk. Mix and leave to stand for 3 to 5 minutes (mixture will bubble slightly). Preheat a large, heavy based frying pan. Drop the mixture into the pan (2 tbsp per pancake for small, 3 tbsp for large) and cook over a medium heat until the underside is golden and bubbles have appeared on the surface of the pancake and the surface is no longer runny. Flip and cook for 1 minute, then transfer to plates.

Blueberry and Buttermilk Stir 100g fresh blueberries into 90g of mix. Add 6 tbsp buttermilk and 1 egg. Cook as above

Apple and Raisin Stir 50g raisins and half a grated apple into 90g of mix. Add 4 tbsp milk and 1 egg. Cook as above. Mmmm.... Chocolate Heaven! You can make this scrumptious pud in a large dish or as individual portions. Delicious with vanilla ice cream.

Ingredients for the sponge • 50g soft butter • 50g soft light brown sugar • 100g self raising flour • 30g cocoa powder

• • • •

Ingredients for the sauce • 100g soft light brown sugar • 2 tbsp cocoa powder

• 1 tsp instant coffee granules • 200ml boiling water

30g chocolate chips 90ml milk 1 egg ½ tsp vanilla extract

CHOCOLATE PUDDING

Method Preheat the oven to 170 °C / Gas Mark 3. Grease a 1.5 litre baking dish, or if you wish small individual dishes. Put all the sponge ingredients, except the chocolate chips in a food processor & mix for 1-2 minutes. Add the chocolate chips & pulse 4-5 times to distribute. Pour the batter into the prepared dish. Whisk the sauce ingredients together in a heatproof bowl and pour over the sponge batter. Bake for 35-40 minutes until the sponge has risen. The sauce will also be bubbling up the sides of the sponge.

ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

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Village Kids specialise in Designer Babies, Children and Junior/young Teenager Childrenswear and Shoes. We have choice of Smart occasion wear from Suits, Jackets, Trousers, Shirts & Ties for Boys or Girls Dresses and skirts for that Special Occasion. New styles arriving daily from brands: Armani, Boss Kidswear, Dior, Dolce and Gabbana, Energie, Hackett, Juicy Couture, Miss Sixty, Ralph Lauren, and many more.

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me t the need rocess, tion & hanged her LGBT area.

her first steps Thank you Dr. Kolb!

When you are having difficulty conceiving, the next step is to schedule a consultation with Dr. Bradford Kolb at HRC Fertility. Your baby’s future depends on the choices you make today.

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Thinking about parenting? You could be a family for a child or children who need one. More and more lesbian, gay, bi and trans people are making a positve choice to adopt or foster, including many who are single, or over 40. From the 4th-10th March 2013, come to an event near you to hear about the children who need families, the process, and how adoption & fostering has changed the lives of other LGBT people in your area. The week is organised by “New Family Social”, a UK-wide social network run by LGBT adopters and foster carers, for families and families-to-be.

LGBTadopti ption ng &fostering

20th -26th February 2012

For more information, and to find your nearest events, visit:

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WORDS_ GIORGIO SEVERI

Kids travel product company, Trunki is the brainchild of designer Rob Law. Since their time on Dragons Den in 2006, Trunki has gone from strength to strength, and shows no sign of slowing down.

Behind the brand...

aking the kids away on a trip is great for spending quality time as a family, however, getting to your destination can sometimes be bit of a challenge, as your sweet angels can turn into little devils in the blink of an eye especially if they get tired or bored. Trunki, the world’s first ride-on suitcase for globe-trotting toddlers has been designed specifically to allow children to actively participate in the travelling experience in a fun, safe and practical manner. Bristol based designer Rob Law created this fun loving luggage range as part of his industrial design course at Northumbria Uni. “The idea of Trunki came to me as a solution to a design brief I was given. My idea was to create a fun piece of luggage that

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children could ride on safely. As a regular traveller, I noticed that children would get bored during the journey especially while waiting around at airports” In 1998 Rob’s initial Trunki concepts won him a national luggage design competition and in 2003 he received a Princes Trust Business Start-up Award. On the 5th May 2006 (now celebrated as Trunki’s birthday) the first container of suitcases arrived in the UK, two weeks later Rob decided to showcase his product on BBC’s Dragons Den, bringing the brightly coloured luggage to the public attention. When it came to showing the product to the Dragons, Theo Paphitis tugged and broke the strap of the sample Rob had brought in. At that point it seemed that it

was game over, but Aussie investor Richard Farleigh, could see the potential and offered £100,000 for 50% of the company, Rob politely declined. Rob left the Den empty handed, but was by no means defeated and subsequently went on to launch Trunki in London’s Hamley’s the same year, selling out within one day. Since then Trunki has sold almost 1.5 million suitcases in 92 countries all through major retailers including John Lewis, Harrods, Next, Amazon and Toys R Us. All employees that work at Trunki are dedicated to the invention and distribution of iconic yet attainable products for kids on-the-go. There are currently a team of 25 at Trunki HQ, The Mothership, a converted chapel in Bristol, a funky, fun and informal »

FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

BEHIND THE BRAND

workspace that includes an escape chute (slide) Astroturf mezzanine and Ping Pong (boardroom) table. “For us it’s all about creating a fun atmosphere to work in, and to let people know that we like to have fun. We make sure that every meeting we have with clients will include time for them to try the slide. It takes them back to their childhood and everyone is up for having a go” The open, non-hierarchical work environment is designed to support and nurture creativity and encourage open communication between all departments. The office also features a library tucked up in the eaves of the chapel allowing staff to get away from it all, relax with a laptop while draped across an oversized bean-bag. Since the launch of Terrance and Trixie Trunki, in 2006, there have been 11 different characters and themed suitcases that make up the collection, all with their own names, including the world famous Gruffalo and two Team GB limited edition suitcases to commemorate London 2012 To compliment the Trunki range, there are also various products that work in conjunction with the luggage as well as

ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

WE WANT TO CONTINUE PIONEERING KIDS TRAVEL GEAR FOR YEARS TO COME, GETTING KIDS INVOLVED AND ULTIMATELY HELPING THEM AND THEIR PARENTS, TO ENJOY TRAVELLING MORE AND STRESSING LESS. independently, including a 3-in-1 tote bag designed to fit cleverly into one side of your Trunki, preventing toys from falling out when opening the case, it also acts as a stand alone shoulder bag. Trunki are also the masterminds behind the BoostApak, an innovative booster seat that doubles up as a back pack and SnooziHedz a 3-in-1 travel pal, pillow and blanket available in various animal guises. Last year they released the PaddlePak a water resistant backpack for little explorers, a shaped like marine animals, including Ribbit the Frog, Pinch the Lobster and Spike the Blowfish, ideal for travelling and swimming. In May 2012, Rob was able to fulfil one of his long term goals by bringing the manufacturing of Trunki back to the UK.

Despite it being more expensive to produce the suitcase on home turf. This year, the team are looking forward to their first national TV ad campaign, due to roll out over Easter and are excited to be celebrating the 2 millionth Trunki sale (due sometime this year) with a massive party. “We want to continue pioneering kids travel gear for years to come, getting kids involved and ultimately helping them and their parents, to enjoy travelling more and stressing less, we will also be launching four new exciting products to the market very soon, so watch this space!” For more information on Trunki products, where to buy and company news please visit www.trunki.com

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Pioneering children’s travel gear | www.trunki.com

FUTURE EVENTS

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SURROGACY

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FERTILITY

LEGAL ADVICE

CO-PARENTING

SPERM DONATION

LIFESTYLE

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EXPERT ADVICE

Q&A WITH FINERS STEPHENS INNOCENT

lasted, and also if it ended. Civil partnership also gives both of you special rights in relation to remaining, or having to leave, the home that you lived in as a family. Very importantly, if children might be a possibility, entering into a civil partnership gives you both the same rights in relation to those children as married couples have, including automatically acquiring parental responsibility, and having the right to apply for a range of orders for those children, including a residence order.

Q. SPERM DONOR RESPONSIBILITIES

I am thinking of being a sperm donor for my two lesbian friends, however I wanted to know if they were to split up in the future, would I then be required to look after the child?

This is a tricky legal area, and first off, I would advise you to take legal advice before progressing down the path of being a sperm donor. I would also suggest that your two friends take legal advice to establish what the legal landscape would be if the sperm donation was successful, and a child was born. For example, if a man donates sperm at an HFEA- licensed clinic, that man is not the legal parent of any child born as a result, will not have any legal obligations to that child, will not have his name on the birth certificate, will not have to support the child financially, and at the same time, has no rights over how that child is brought up. If sperm is donated outside such a clinic, and the woman is not married or in a civil partnership, the sperm donor could be the legal parent of the child, with all of the rights and responsibilities that comes with that legal status. Check to see whether your friends are in a civil partnership, if they are, at the time the child is conceived, they will both be the legal parents and you will not. This will also help them, as they do not then need to take further legal steps to have the second woman recognised legally as the child’s parent, a process which can be costly and time-consuming when all a couple wants to do is to look after their child. You should also, all three, enter into a carefully considered parenting agreement prior to starting the insemination process, setting out how parenting will work in the future. Many cases that have come to the UK courts in relation to sperm donation, fathers and parenting issues have ended up there because the parties didn’t properly set out and agree how arrangements would work in the future. These sorts of agreements can set out how financial arrangements will work, and who would look after the child in the event of the mothers’ relationship breaking down or indeed their deaths. Although these sorts of agreements do not bind a Court if ever any question about the child came to be decided, they are very good evidence of what the parties intended at the time the child was conceived, although the Court’s overriding obligation at all times is to do what is in the best interests of that child. You should also be aware that the law in this area, because it is quite new, is continually changing. Indeed, you may have seen in the press recently a case involving a known donor to a lesbian couple, who obtained the Court’s permission to make an application for contact with the child who was born as a result of insemination.

Q. PARTNERSHIP LAWS?

My partner and I would like to affirm our relationship in front of our friends but really wanted to know if the laws are different for a civil partnership and domestic partnership?

You and your partner can have any sort of private ceremony that you like, if all you want to do is to demonstrate to your friends your love and commitment to each other. However, unless you enter into a formal civil partnership, the rights and benefits that would accrue to you and your partner as a result would be lost. This is because civil partnership gives you and your partner the same legal status as married couples in areas such as tax, inheritance and what would happen to your assets if the civil partnership broke down and ended. So, looking more closely, if you and your partner had not entered in to a civil partnership, and if one of you died, the survivor would have no automatic right to inherit from your estate. As a result, if you choose not to enter into a civil partnership but simply want to affirm your relationship, you really both should make wills that provide for each other (and for any children) in the event of death. In addition, if you die and had assets worth more than £325,000, everything over that value will be taxed at 40%. This is the current rate of inheritance tax. However, assets passing to a surviving civil partner are tax-free - for wealthier couples, this is a really useful tax-saving device, and is a genuine advantage to being in a civil partnership. On top of that, once you enter into a civil partnership, this automatically obliges each of you to make reasonable financial provision for the other, both during the time that the civil partnership

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Finers Stephens Innocent is a Central London based law firm offering legal advice in all areas of family law and relationships for more information please visit - www.fsilaw.com

FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013 – ISSUE 08

EXPERT VIEWS Dr. Mark P. Leondires of Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut in the U.S is boardcertified in both Obstetrics and Gynecology and Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. Here he answers readers questions to assist them on their own path to parenthood.

Q A

We are a gay couple looking for a surrogate to carry our first child. Can sperm samples from both my partner and myself be combined? And does this always result in a multiple birth?

PINK-

because if we transfer two embryos and we are not aware of whose sperm fertilized which egg, then we could potentially be transferring two embryos from the same partner. At our practice, when we fertilize eggs with sperm from each partner we keep track of whose sperm was used with each egg; we know which embryo came from each partner. My advice is for couples to think about what their complete family will be. If this includes multiple children, then each dad will have an opportunity to use his sperm. Families can take years to build, so enjoy each stage as you go.

It is possible to combine sperm so neither the parents nor the embryology lab are aware of which parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sperm fertilizes an individual egg; however, couples need to consider what is best for the child. There are several reasons why parents and children should know who the biological dad is, starting at conception. First, there are practical, medical reasons why parents should know the genetics of the sperm. The family genetic history of their child, including any possible genetic conditions and diseases they will have a predisposition for, could be a factor in health choices and risk assessment. Beyond that, this scenario can impact the relationship of the couple. If a couple chooses to wait until the baby is born to find out the dad, it can create issues of compromise, disappointment, and competition between the partners. The day of delivery is very emotional, and the focus should be on the joy of having a child. We advise our patients to participate in educational counseling to discuss their shared goal of wanting to build a family together, regardless of the genetics of the child. Many gay couples would like to have a child from each partner, and therefore fertilizing blindly is counter productive. That is

ISSUE 08 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

ASK AN AT O I T S E U Q PARENTING.com

Q A

I am a single gay guy and am thinking of helping out my lesbian friends by offering them my sperm. What medical test will be need to be done prior to giving my sperm?

Helping a friend start a family is an incredibly generous and altruistic gift. However, it is not simple. To protect the interests of both you and your friends, I advise going through a third-party reproduction center such as a fertility practice. In the United States, sperm donation includes testing for recessive genetic diseases and screening for infectious diseases. Oftentimes sperm is quarantined and frozen prior to utilization. A fresh donor sperm specimen is rarely used to try to achieve conception.

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CARRIERS ARE GENERALLY IN WE ARE LUCKY TO BE LIVING THEIR 20’S AND 30’S AND MUST IN AN AGE WHERE HIV CAN HAVE HAD AT LEAST ONE BE MANAGED; IN THIS MODERN SUCCESSFUL PREGNANCY. ALL AGE OF HIV CARRIERS ARETREATMENT SCREENED MALE COUPLES CAN PURSUE FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS PREGNANCY IF BOTH THAT AFFECTSEVEN PREGNANCIES OF THEM ARE HIV-POSITIVE

their 20’s and 30’s and must have had at least one successful pregnancy. All carriers are screened for medical conditions In addition, I recommend that might affect the pregnancy. that you optimize your health approximately three months prior to your donation. This Gestational carriers are also screened for the following: includes cutting down on smoking and alcohol; limiting Criminal background check – toxins; Your surrogate agency exposure to environmental increasing your reviews intake of the nutrient-dense gestational carriers driving record and conducts a home visit. foods as part of a well-balanced diet. More importantly, you–should all ofare theconducted implications Psychological evaluation Theseconsider evaluations donating sperm. I recommend myinterview patients and meetwritten with an by of experienced counseling teams. An experienced healthcare professional and/or mental health personality test (PAI) is required. If the gestational carrier is professional to talk what donation means now and in the married her partner willabout be evaluated as well. future, assuming a pregnancy results. You’ll need to consider Medical Evaluation – The gestational carrier’s medical the legal questions of paternity, financial questions of support, records are reviewed. If approved the carrier will be given a emotional questions of how much contact you will be allowed thorough FDA approved medical evaluation. with the child, and eventually relationship questions as this child Compatibility with the and intended grows into a teenager young parents adult. – Once a gestational carrier In is general, identified, a clinic day is scheduled in which theintended carrier when the sperm donor is known by the andparents, her partner meet with the intended parents under things are much more complicated after the the guidance of our psychological counselor. It isis important thatit the pregnancy ensues and after the child born. While may intended anddonate the carrier compatible and aingreat agreement seem parents simple to yourare sperm, there are deal of on some of the important issues surrounding the process. issues to consider.

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Q. How does the process work when using a gestational carrier? My partner and I recently got married and

Q A

The egg donor’s eggs retrieved but in our in the US, would likearechildren, arelaboratory both HIV+ males, the sperm from one or both partners is thawed and used to however in very good health. What would inseminate you the donor eggs. About 3-4 days later, one or two recommend be our course of action? embryos are placed into the uterus of the Gestational Carrier. Two weeks We later are the pregnancy is performed. The remaining lucky to test be living in an age where HIV embryos aretreatment frozen and kept in our lab for future use. can be managed; just a few years ago we would not even be considering this question. In this

Q. What can international modern age of HIV couples treatmentexpect? male couples can

We welcome male couples from countries where fertility services pursue pregnancy even if both of them are HIV-positive. This are not available to them or are restricted. In international cases often involves an assessment by their personal physician the majority of the process can be accomplished remotely, with concluding that their viral load is very low, and that their overall the sperm collection and testing performed at a clinic in the health is very good. Couples need to consider the health and couple’s native country and the sperm samples shipped to New well-being of the unborn child as they pursue family building. England Fertility for storage and then later use. Despite the fact Assuming that both partners are HIV-positive and do not that the couples do not need to be present in the U.S. for any suffer from AIDS, there are special clinics in which sperm is part of the procedure, we encourage intended parents to meet processed, washed, and prepared for use in an egg donor with their carrier, be present for the embryo transfer and attend recipient cycle. Part of this practice will include completing a the birth of the baby. semen analysis with cryopreservation of sperm processed clear of HIV. Using these techniques the chance of of HIVinternational to an embryo are consult exceedingly These For transmission a complimentary Skype with low. Dr. Lavy, techniques require some special processes additional please send an email to info@nefertility.com. To learnand more about time, butsurrogacy they are hurdles thatwww.nefertility.com can be overcome gestational please visit

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AND FINALLY... Team PP were left shell-shocked after the recent demise of GaydarRadio, our mornings without Neil and Debbie will never be the same again! We catch up with the fab duo to find out their happiest memories, what they will miss and their plans for the future.

BACK OVER YOUR TIME AT GAYDAR RADIO, Q LOOKING WHAT HAVE WERE YOUR HAPPIEST TIMES?

NEIL: I think the Pride events were great on so many levels. They are all about celebrating life. I remember standing on stage at Soho Pride and looking out at a sea of faces all of whom were happy and enjoying the collective experience of being part of one big LGBT family. DEBBIE: GaydarRadio was totally unique. Like laughing like a hyena at 7am, or being able to completely be ourselves while on air. However the exceptional talents we were lucky enough to interview were a massive perk to the job. George Michael made me literally faint, P!nk was phenomenal, trying to flirt with Heather Peace, having ‘a moment’ with Adam Lambert in the studio, and being ‘The Saturdays’ first radio interview.... all these memories are platinum.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ‘FUNNY MOMENT’ AT GAYDAR RADIO THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE?

NEIL: There wasn’t a one particular time I remember; the laughs were always non-stop with Debbie. I have never known anyone so quick witted. There were times when she totally ambushed me (and everyone else) with her humour. What I loved about our show was that although we would often talk about some quite serious issues relating to intolerance or homophobia, we always did our upmost to be positive and put a smile of people’s faces too. Used correctly, humour can be very disarming which means you can often get across a quite serious message while still leaving people feeling positive and upbeat.

DEBBIE: Every day was comedic in so many different ways. Stand out moments? How about the interview with our favourite gay dads, Elton John and David Furnish from America? We were running around the studio screaming “TEN TO ELTON! TEN MINUTES TO ELTON”. We were so excited yet so nervous. You could have easily made a reality show about us at GaydarRadio that day!

DO YOU THINK YOU WILL MISS THE Q WHAT MOST ABOUT WORKING AT GAYDAR RADIO?

NEIL: It has to be our work team. Whatever you do and wherever you are in life, it’s the people you are surrounded by that make the difference. We were so lucky that we worked with an amazing and lovely team over the years. More importantly though, are our listeners because without them, there would never have been a show! DEBBIE: I’ve worked for some incredible radio stations, but never before had such a strong bond like the one I have with Neil. I can’t say I’ll miss that because we chat everyday about plans we’ve got, who we want to interview, what LGBT stories we MUST cover, so that hasn’t gone. I will miss our fabulous GaydarRadio family and the listeners but that won’t end just because the radio station has.

LEAST WHAT ARE Q ANDBOTHLASTOF YOURBUT BYPLANSNO MEANS FOR THE FUTURE?

NEIL & DEBBIE: Stations like GaydarRadio come along once in a lifetime. We met by chance, lightning struck and we couldn’t imagine being on the radio without each other. We make each other laugh, cry and ponder about life both on and off-air and we still have far too much left to say to stop now. The LGBT world needs our voices now more than ever and we want to highlight everything we possibly can to help.

ALL IS NOT LOST! YOU CAN FOLLOW NEIL & DEBBIE’S LATEST NEWS AND SHENANIGANS ON TWITTER!! @THISISNDEBZ @NEILSEXTON @DEBBIERYANRADIO

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ISSUE 08 – FEBRUARY / MARCH 2013

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Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut Danbury, Norwalk, Stamford

+ 1.800.865.5431 www.gayparentstobe.com info@gayparentstobe.com

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