LOVE LIVES IN US... THE WINSTONS.      E.L. and Roni Winston

Love lives in us the Winstons and we want to share a little bit of it with you At the end of so many relationships, we hear people say, “I lost myself in that relationship”. How does that happen? How do we lose ourselves? The Bible refers to the two becoming one, but it doesn’t mean that the two lose their identity to the one It means that we stand together come what may. We create ONE life as TWO individuals. We live by the motto, “I have my life; you have your life; we have our life together” This is how we have found a love that nurtures us as individuals with such a degree that we continue to become the very best versions of ourselves.

When Winston and I met, I didn’t know what my best self looked like I felt uncertain and uneasy about who I was. Winston loved me through that. We would play 20 questions everyday and no questions that only required one word answers were allowed This forced me to think about the world around me, why I saw it the way I did, and how I saw myself in it. Those questions made me think long and hard about who I was as a person and who I wanted to be as a person.

A simple game from our childhood helped Winston and I to recognize our individuality. We could appreciate our differences just as much as our similarities and we went into our relationship knowing who we each were separate from one another It made it easier for us to find the fit for each other in our lives We already understood that no one person can fulfill you, so you must fulfill yourself. This made the relationship all the more special because we truly recognized we were building on the strong foundation we had poured for ourselves. The strength of our bond has us as individuals creating something wonderful together.

Isn't it crazy how a childhood game could bring so much awareness to who we are and what we need? I highly recommend it not just for romantic relationships. But for platonic relationships as well. In

past relationships, I felt responsible for trying to fulfill whatever needs or wants the other person had It usually ended in resentment and stress I was trying to do something humanly impossible and if we ' re being honest it wasn't something that I wanted to do.

My childhood taught me to be all things to all people except for myself. So when I met the Mrs,. there were two things I was sure of:

1. I wanted to build a life with this woman I needed for us both to be on the road to the best versions of ourselves.

2. I needed for us both to be on the road to the best versions of ourselves.

Because of these two things I did what the young folks today call ‘shadow work’. I worked on those deepest parts of myself. I realized happiness is the responsibility of each person and that I'm here to add to it, but not to be it 20 Questions became this eye opening game of discovery for us both We learned so much about ourselves and each other Being loved in a way that encourages you to be authentically yourself has been the greatest gift to us both God knew what we needed and here we are 8 years of loving and living We are continuing to become the best versions of who we were meant to be as individuals as well as building a place of love, light and purpose together.

When you give someone a gift, you have to buy it, make it or create it first. If this is true, then an incomplete you is not a gift. It is like giving your significant other a broken coffee pot and wondering why they are disappointed. Do the work for a whole you. Even if you are already with your forever love, it is not too late. True love gives you the space to love yourself wholly and completely. Knowing yourself to better know your partner means that no one is losing themself It adds to each of us The growth of individuals creating a life together means love lives in us!