A P P R E CI AT E L I F E (14) / C HO O SE TO NO T ICE (46) / BE MINDFU L (84)
Watch Your Seeds Grow with Eva Kosmas
Flores
The Joy Issue
Become a Regular!
Women who subscribe to our print magazine report elevated feelings of self-love and more daily Joy. Become a regular at bit.ly/TPYandyou.
A RT W O R K by @ CR A F T I VAT ECT
We believe in choosing, embracing, unleashing, and celebrating the woman you've always been...the woman you are today... the woman you're meant to be...
Be YOU...the Perpetual You.
L ET T ER from our ED I T O R
THE
O
f course, bounty is a beautiful thing. Food, Friendships, Fortune... who doesn't want more of that?
THE OFFICE The Perpetual You 101 Putnam Ave. Hamden, CT 06517
Sometimes, though, having #allthethings leads to overwhelm and anxiety instead of satiation or appreciation. Instead of a bounty of good things, we end
THE LIST To receive the digital edition of our magazine directly to your inbox, join our mailing list at: bit.ly/TPYList.
up with a lot of stress, too many demands on our time and attention, and a long list of to-dos that have little "to do" with our core values or real desires. Is there such a thing as just the right amount of bounty? Can bounty be intentional and mindful, rather than gluttonous and overwhelming?
T H E C O M MU N I T Y Look for us on social media @theperpetualyou.
I've become familiar with Intentional Bounty, which is more about having ENOUGH than it is getting MORE, MORE, MORE. Enough time in the day. Enough food on our plates. Enough energy, enough options,
THE SOCIETY Meet like-minded women in our private FB group, The Perpetual You Society.
and enough freedom to select where to expend energy and decide which options we will and will not be pursuing. Enough boundaries, even! And enough forgiveness, while we're at it. A core principle of mindfulness is to be unattached to judgement, which brings us to the feeling of enough. This feeling can be cultivated through awareness of what we
THE STOCKISTS Pick up a print copy of our magazine at the following shops: Lovet Shop Milford, CT ShopLovet.com
have (are) and what we need, and the willingness to bring those two things in tandem when it is in our power to do so. Nobody likes feeling too full, any more than we want to feel hunger pains. We want our bellies to feel good even as the rest of us feels comfortable. For bounty to be a good thing, then, it needs to be just the right amount—the amount that will land us in the house of satisfaction—thus opening the door to Joy.
Dwell New Haven, CT DwellNewHaven.com
T HE M A R K E T P L A C E Shop consciously at theperpetualyou.com/ the-marketplace.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Publisher & Managing Editor @wordsbyleelee
p.s. Check out our JOYFUL coloring pages this month. After flipping through the mag, tear out each of our section dividers and get to coloring!! Original artwork contributed by TPY Bestie, Amy Stamp. Follow her @craftivatect.
P H O T O by C O N N I E S C H I A N O , @ C O N S T A N C E _ S C H I A N O
You will never get everything in life but you will get enough. – SANHITA BARUAH
The JOY ISSU E
|
3
P H O T O by M A R K I E J O N E S P H O T O G R A P H Y
FIND US @THEPERPETUALYOU
IN THIS ISSUE
Create Joy by Celebrating Bounty M O N T H LY M US I C
Appreciate + Notice the things You Have and T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Love with this month's playlist on Spotify.
Unleash
61
Celebrate the plenty of seeds well-sown and a life well-lived, with photographer, author, and food-lover Eva Kosmas Flores. P H O T O G R A P H E D by M A R K I E J O N E S P H O T O G R A P H Y
The JOY ISSU E
|
5
Realize Curate a bountiful, meaningful life by
14
balancing appreciation with activity, buying with responsibility in mind, and being attuned to the joys of the season. Lifestyle Re-frame Gratitude ....................................... 14 Enjoy Your Family........................................... 19 Dress Yourself Well......................................... 32
TPY Faves Books ............................................................. 17 Cocktail.......................................................... 20
19 32
Movement....................................................... 23 Products ........................................................ 24 Beauty ........................................................... 30 Self-Care......................................................... 36
Plus Hang out with the @bohemianfolkclothing designer & her fam!
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
27
Dwell Create bespoke vignettes in your home that embody your values, imbue your creativity, and bring you joy. Design Set the Table.................................................... 40 Reserve Sacred Space....................................... 42 Enjoy Your Home.............................................. 46
46
86
Live Cultivate an environment where your needs are prioritized, your desires are listened to, and your feelings are paramount. Mindset Eat Mindfully................................................. 76 Elevate Self-Care........................................... 80 Engage Your Feelings.................................... 86
The JOY ISSU E
|
7
FIND US @THEPERPETUALYOU
T H E MA K ERS
Our makers consistently share their time & talents. We'd love to introduce you to the lovely ladies who contributed to this month's issue.
Markie
Allie
Cover Story Photographer
Dwell Feature Photography
@markiejonesphotographyllc markielynne.com
@alliedearie alliedeariephotography.com
Markie is a PNW Wedding photographer and mother to
Allie Dearie is a photographer based in southern
two adorable little fireball girls and two rather overactive
New England, who specializes in weddings and
dogs who loves to find new adventures around the Bonney
elopements, as well as product and event photography.
Lake area. She enjoys photographing intimate engagement
One of her dreams is to photograph all 59 National
sessions and weddings throughout the Greater Seattle
Parks in the US. In the rare moments that she's not
Area. Markie's previous TPY collaborations include
holding a camera, she's either sipping a cappuccino
multiple Dwell features and our Aug 2018 cover story.
while hand-lettering, planning her next adventure, or snuggling as many cats as possible. This is Allie's third Dwell collaboration with The Perpetual You.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Jessie
Casee
P.K.
Art Director
Brand Marketer
Proofreader
@littlelegendsdesign littlelegends.com
@hopeandharbor caseemarie.com
Connect on Facebook
Krystal
Crystal
Cat
Mantra Siren
Cover Story
Media Editor
@krystalbrandt krystalbrandt.com
@paisleyrosie
@catballou24 amlofarms.com
Constance
Lisa
Elayna
Collaborating Photographer
Collaborating Photographer
Collaborating Artist
@constance_schiano constanceschiano.com
@right_click_photo rightclickphoto.com
@madebyelayna madebyelayna.com
The JOY ISSU E
|
9
Amy M.
Amy S.
Christy
Collaborating Artist
Collaborating Artist
Collaborating Artist
@amoscatfish amymcnamara.space
@craftivatect craftivatect.com
@cmjohnsonart christymjohnsonart.com
Calling all Creative Ladies! TPY collaborates with artists, photographers, writers, and more. Visit bit.ly/TPYcollab for current opportunities!
Let me help your brand
Branding, Graphic & Web Design for Bold Business Owners. Let's start a conversation! hi@createlittlelegends.com
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Words by Lee Lee
Values-Based Copywriting for Cause-Based Businesses. wordsbylee@gmail.com
A RT W O R K by @ CR A F T I VAT ECT
to align your daily practices with your ever-evolving desires
A RT W O RK by @ N ADIAHO R N
I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y R O W E N A M C P H E R S O N @ R O W E N A . M C P H E R S O N . A R T
THE LA DY
Carmen Herrera The abstract minimalism of Havana-born painter Carmen Herrera challenged the conservative views of patriarchal mid-century society. Although she was denied entry into galleries in favor of male artists, Herrera persevered and sold her first painting at 89 years old. She spent the next decade rising to international acclaim. This month, we pay tribute to Carmen’s persistence in pursuing her passion, even while maintaining simplicity in form. The JOY ISSU E
|
13
If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you love more richly those moments. – ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
C E L E B R AT E
Appreciation with
Marie Levey-Pabst
Turn too much into just enough by noticing and appreciating the now.
I
t was the last day of school. The children were released
becomes a bounty of joy and connection—both feelings that
at noon. And I mean released. As in running out of rooms,
can be found even when we’re also sad or anxious.
arms weighed down with end-of-year gifts and paper. As
in tears streaming down the faces of the children sad to be
If this reframe seems a bit Pollyana-ish to you, I get it. To
leaving their teachers and friends.
pretend that our feelings of being intensely overwhelmed will
All the children. All the stuff. All the feelings. All released.
I’m asking you to go through. To make this reframe more
As a parent with two kids in this end-of-school flood, I felt the
vanish as soon as we reframe them oversimplifies the process concrete and accessible, we need another nudge.
intensity, the sheer quantity of feelings and needs swirling
Give your reframe a physical existence in some way. In the
around. It was a feeling not unlike the times where there is
times where you feel overwhelmed, stop and list three things
more to do than the time we have, or more people in our lives
you're grateful for. Don’t just list them in your head - write
who need us than we can care for.
them on a piece of paper, speak them out loud to someone
In short it was the feeling of “this is a lot. This is too much.” Now that we’re fully in to Fall, the overwhelm will likely not be going away any time soon. Women often feel overwhelmed with holiday plans and expectations, or just the “all at onceness” of what we are expected to do these next few months. This month, I challenge you to reframe “This is too much” as
nearby, or even express your gratitude for someone in your life. Paired with a practical gratitude exercise, this reframe becomes real. The act of appreciation boosts the mindset shift. Often, that little concrete boost is enough for the feeling of being overwhelmed to subside long enough for us to rewire our thinking to be more purposeful and joyful.
“My life is bountiful.” Too many things to do can become a bounty of opportunities. Too many feelings swirling around
continued on next page
The JOY ISSU E
|
15
Practice Joy Start a regular practice of celebrating joy so that you are ready to re-frame and embrace the times when life doesn’t go as planned! •
Start a gratitude journal where you simply record 1-3 things you are grateful for daily, or get a “sentence a day” journal to track your life, and focus on the positive in that daily statement.
•
When you feel like life is giving you “too much,” share the bounty of overwhelm with a friend. Specifically ask her to point out opportunities she sees that you are having trouble appreciating.
In truth, the potential for joy exists in most of our daily actions and activities. Even the ones that overwhelm us or don’t seem to really be so “awesome” at the time. It might be a moment of watching our child play with an old toy, a stolen moment of quiet with a book in the afternoon, a sip of tea or coffee infused with the holiday scent of cinnamon. When I first started my journey to create a better balance in my life as a parent, I started by looking for new things to do that would bring me MORE happiness, or new ways to have “less stuff” in my life. Once I stopped looking for new things and started paying attention to what I already had (even what I had that was overwhelming or “too much”), I was able to celebrate the bounty in front of me. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Marie is the founder of the Create Balance method and a co-host of the Mama Now podcast. She teaches parents to create balance between family, work, and personal fulfillment. Connect with Marie at @CreateBalanceCommunity on Facebook or at CreateABalancedLife.com. Photos by Connie Schiano, @constance_schiano
P H O T O by @ C A T B A L L O U 2 4
BO U N T I FU L J O U RN EYS
My Antonia
Just Kids
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle
by Willa Cather, pub. 1918
by Patti Smith, pub. 2010
by Barbara Kingsolver, pub. 2007
The final book of Cather's Great Plains Trilogy,
Just Kids is musician and poet, Patti Smith’s
This beautifully written narrative, combining
My Antonia is spellbinding in its simplicity
autobiography of her life as a NYC artist. The
experience and research, entails Kingsolver’s
and clarity, yet Cather employs great feeling
true heart of this book of memories is Smith’s
decision to uproot her family’s urban life to
in her storytelling. Because of her realistic
life-long friendship with photographer, Robert
only eat what they raise, what is in season,
portraits and keen insight into the hearts of
Mapplethorpe. Out of all the artists, writers,
and what is grown locally, for a solid year.
diverse characters, Cather draws the reader
and musicians who were her peers and friends
Though the book received mixed reviews from
in emotionally and fully. The story moves
during those years, many of whom went on to
long-time readers, I found Barbara’s masterful
swiftly, with single paragraphs advancing time
their own fame, Smith credits Mapplethorpe
descriptions of food personality salivating.
more quickly than we’d expect from an entire
with helping her find her true artistic self. This
Readers frustrated with the unhealthy, artificial
chapter. Reading this bountiful book is a deep
beautiful love story, a fascinating memoir
food chain will be inspired to evaluate their
dive into another world that’s worth our time
which took 20 years to write, reads like poetry.
food lifestyles.
spent there. The JOY ISSU E
|
17
Handmade bags for your on-the-go lifestyle
Bags designed and made by Lisa Maree in Bristol, CT facebook.com/lisamareedesign T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
Celebrate Family with
Joanne Raia
Family gatherings bring the flavors we love back, time and time again.
F
ood has always been the center of my life with my
My compassion, creativity, and appreciation for food comes
Greek and Italian heritage and background. I fell in
from those meals with my family. When each person walked
love with food at a young age watching my mom,
away from the table, they were satisfied and full of joy.
aunts, and grandmother prepare my favorite meals. No
Celebrating your traditions, whatever they are, will create
matter the occasion, whether large or small, big smiles lasted
lasting memories: plenty of love, a table full of laughter, the
long after we ate our meal!
aromas of good food, and a bounty of gratitude.
We savored the mouth-watering juices of Garlic Stuffed Roasted Lamb; enjoyed the lovely layers of flakiness of Spanakoptia (Spinach Pie); and finished with Kourabiedes (Greek Butter Cookies) - relishing in their their buttery, crumbly sweetness.
Rawjo shows you through private and group programs how to incorporate raw foods for your busy and healthy lifestyle. Connect at @rawfoodjo. Photo by Lisa Nichols @right_click_photo The JOY ISSU E
|
19
REALIZE
Mulled Wine Jubilance begins from the inside out with a steaming pot of glรถgg.
The presence of loved ones reminds us of all the blessings in our lives. What better way to celebrate than with a steaming pot of glรถgg? Like its summertime cousin, sangria, glรถgg is a drink that demands a gathering: friends, family, acquaintances. All are welcome. Glรถgg is a Swedish version of mulled wine, typically made with red wine, brandy, and spices such as cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, and cloves. It can also be made alcoholfree with fruit juices instead of the wine and brandy. Bring it together with ginger snaps, raisins, and almonds as a garnish. Breathe deep of the warm spices in this drink and be truly present when family gathers. The scents of sweet and savory foster mindful relaxation, reducing anxiety and increasing focus. Let your cup warm your hands and your heart and stay connected to the people you care about most.
Words and photo by Willy of Life Unstill Photography, @lifeunstill. Willy is a drinkloving portrait photographer based in Denver, Colorado but she will travel for cocktails!
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Bringing you closer to nature davinejewelry.com The JOY ISSU E
|
21
Handmade Candles, Jewelry that helps you feel effortlessly beautiful every day.
aliciascandles.com
Vegan & Cruelty Free
T I F FA N YA N N E . J E W E L R Y
CRUNCHY DIVA: CRUNCHY DIVA: /'kr n(t)She 'dev / /'kr n(t)She 'dev / N O U N : A refined hippie. N O U N : A refined hippie.
A Stylish confident and A Stylish confident and inspired individual who feels inspired individual who feels connected to the earth. connected to the earth.
C R U N C H Y D I VA D E S I G N S .CO M
SHOP NOW AT CRUNCHYDIVADESIGNS.COM
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
Celebrate Your Body with
Erica Hornthal
The start to the holiday season, November is the month for giving. We balance this outpouring through gratitude.
enough, or unworthy enhances your ability to meet your own needs and elevate your self-care and self-compassion. Gratitude truly starts from within. As you breathe in, focus on sending the breath to every inch of your being, creating a
One way of being thankful for yourself is to focus on the areas of your body that give you life: your heart pumps the blood necessary to keep you moving, your lungs provide oxygen that
physical practice that centers on reflection, appreciation, and love. It is only after finding ways to be thankful for our own bodies that we can truly focus on the needs of others.
sustain your organs, and your brain houses the motherboard that makes your body operate. Another form of gratitude toward self is to validate and nourish the parts of your body which are ignored, neglected, or in need of TLC. Illuminating parts of you that feel less than, not
Erica is a dance/movement therapist and the CEO of Chicago Dance
Therapy, a body-centered psychotherapy practice serving Chicago and its suburbs. Connect with her on Instagram at @ehornthal. Photo by @lifeunstill
The JOY I SSU E
|
23
REALIZE
Celebrate Handicraft There's joy in responsible spending. The movement to buy handcrafted goods is a passionate reaction to consumerism, fast retail, and mindless shopping—all practices that can leave us feeling more depleted than we desire or deserve. Whether purchasing directly from a local maker or finding a boutique that sells a variety of handcrafted wares all in one place, the responsible practice of "shopping small" is one that allows us to increase our bounty of goods without the aftereffects of guilt or remorse. And knowing our purchase supports another woman brings even more joy. Kaarigur is an online boutique where conscious consumers can find unique yet timeless pieces. Visit Kaarigur.com to view product listings and prices.
Main photo by Create Her Stock
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Product Placement If you’re a shop owner or small batch maker who would like to be featured in one of our issues, fill out our product collab form.
CARVED CHEESE BOARD: Adds versatility and style to food presentation
HANDMADE POUCHES: Promotes economic growth of women in rural areas
EMERALD DYED MARBLE PLATTER: Contributes to a sophisticated table
LUXURY LINEN: Brings beauty and serenity to your home
BUTTERFLY KILIM RUG: Imbues a mixture of tradition and beauty
HANDMADE JEWELRY: Supports women artisans in rural areas
The JOY ISSU E
|
25
P H O T O by @ J O A N N A _ F I S H E R , L E T T E R I N G by @ M A D E B Y E L AY N A
– V I CTOR I A M OR A N
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
C E L E B R AT E
The Journey with mama/entrepreneur Leslie Navia
The JOY ISSU E
|
27
This past summer, my family and I took to the road for a full month, driving from our home in the Midwest all the way to California, making stops along the way. I’ve always found that no matter whether traveling by car, train, or airplane, just getting out of the house is the most taxing part. With four kids, exhaustion can hit before the door has even shut behind me.
T
his summer was no exception to that rule. There were tears of frustration as I mounted the roof of the car to secure all of our luggage for a full month inside the
roof box. There just wasn’t enough room, and yet, nothing seemed indispensable. Leave any one thing behind, and we’d surely have to buy it along the way. After substantial wrestling with bags, boxes, and plastic bins, we finally fit it all in. Barely. And the kids were already unhappy as they fought for space, or rather, as my ten-year old called it, “territory,” with all of the books, bags, food, and camping supplies that surrounded them. Still, we were committed now and so… we hit the road. Once we got through the initial traffic frustration of leaving the city, the mood started to lighten up. The landscape in the Midwest is so very flat and unexciting (we’re surrounded by cornfields and not much else) that all that lies beyond is laced with excitement and magic. Little by little, the land became more and more scenic, even if it was only with a few humble hills and farms at the beginning. When you travel by land, time seems to go by so very slowly, and yet at the same time everything around you is quite
fact welcomed it, despite the mess, as something to
literally transitioning at a rapid pace before your very eyes. As
keep them occupied. We surrendered to device usage
the hours became days, we passed through rivers and plateaus
despite the beautiful views right outside the window.
and deserts. And then as days became weeks, we arrived at
Part of being on a road trip is letting go.
grand looming mountains, and then finally, it all came to a stunning halt at the vast Pacific Ocean.
When we were just an hour away from home on the return leg of the trip, my ten-year son proclaimed,
Road trips are both producers of the most poignant memories
“I just can’t live this way anymore.” We all chuckled
our spirits will ever experience, and yet at the same time,
because we understood what he meant and, in fact,
intolerable in their capacity to test our patience. We witnessed
we all agreed. After a month on the road, bathing
diverse natural beauty beyond our wildest dreams; we also
infrequently, eating junk, and cooped up in a space-
endured endless hours of discomfort and restlessness. We
constrained (and—by the end of it all—filthy) vehicle,
experienced both powerful moments of bonding and episodes
we were ready to go home.
of intense conflict. A road trip is meant to come to an end with everyone By the end of it all, our vehicle went through much abuse and
feeling relieved and grateful to be back home. Quite
ended up looking something like a traveling trash can. At a
like birthing a baby, it's defined by contractions of
certain point, we not only let the kids eat in the car, but in
utter pain and discomfort, dispersed within periods
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
of calmness. By the end of it, you really just want it to be over. But once it’s all over, you manage to forget the ugly and only remember the joy. And aren’t the memories what really count anyway? My children keep pointing out that every time we take a road trip I always proclaim that I’ll never do it again. But we always do. And I recall saying the same thing after giving birth to each of my children. And I’ve got four of them. So either I’m a glutton for punishment, or there must really be a magical beauty and satisfaction on the other end of discomfort.
Leslie Navia is the owner and designer behind Bohemian Folk Clothing. She lives in Chicago with her husband and four children. She spends her days making lots of things, trying her best to living slowly and simply, and staying as far away as possible from the rat race. Connect with her on IG @bohemianfolkclothing.
The JOY ISSU E
|
29
REALIZE
Celebrate Consciousness with Leigh Schwab
Eco-conscious beauty practices help to protect Mother Earth's bounty.
B
eing a beauty product lover can often mean contributing
A few clean cosmetic companies have created heavy-duty
to a surplus of excess packaging. I cringe to think how
refillable packaging so that consumers can throw away the
much plastic I come into contact with every day, which
original product and purchase a refill.
is why eliminating single use plastic has been a goal of mine for the past year. Making small changes at the individual level can
Bounty isn't just gathering more; it’s appreciating what we have
cause remarkable change.
and knowing what we truly need. After all, creating less waste
Choosing reusable items or single-use items that are
leads to space for more things worth appreciating. To know that
compostable are small choices with big impact. Another
I'm impacting the environment simply by using less product and
approach to creating less waste is using refillable products.
producing less waste definitely brings me joy.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
BeYOUtiful
1
Many beauty companies are now focusing on sustainable practices that reach beyond the function of their products. Through economical shipping, refillable packaging, and environmentally-friendly practices, the beauty industry is addressing their impact beyond the products they make. The following are some small changes that YOU can make to your beauty routine that will have a bountiful impact on the environment.
1
Re-use. Reusable silicone bags are extremely versatile and help decrease the use of single use plastic bags. Use them to store food in the refrigerator and freezer, organize your products for traveling, or snack time on the go. I love the variety of colors and sizes in Stasher Bags.
2
Leigh recommends: Stasher Bags ( from $9.99)
2
Recycle. Another way to reduce single-use plastic is in our tableware and party supplies. World Centric has created plates, cups, and utensils that are single use but compostable to keep our tables easy-to-dress yet environmentally friendly. They also donate 25% of profits to environmental causes. Leigh recommends: World Centric Bio-Compostables (price varies)
3
Refill. Makeup from Kjaer Weis is top tier in function, and they have a secret: each of their products come in a refillable metal compact that is purchased once, leading to elimination of plastic packaging. You save on costs when ordering refills too!
3
Leigh recommends: Kjaer Weis Cream Blush Compact + Refill ($56/$32)
Leigh Schwab uses her love for skin care to help educate women about the ingredients in their products and the need for proper skin care legislation in our country. Learn more about her passion for a healthy and simple life on Facebook and Instagram @leighschwab. Main photo by Constance Schiano, @constance_schiano
The JOY ISSU E
| | 31
REALIZE
Celebrate Versatility Get many different uses and feelings out of one piece with a few styling magic tricks.
L
eaves start falling and a chill arrives in the air. At that
Styling a dress, though, doesn't have to stop there. Any dress can
point, many of us pile on the layers, and—eventually, over
be styled so that it becomes an appropriate piece for fall, and
time—we relegate our dresses and skirts to the back of the
even winter—from layering it under a shirt or sweater to pairing
closet, where they wait patient and prim, for spring. What if they didn't have to? What if dresses were more versatile than we give them credit for? We know that a dress can suit different occasions, depending on the accessories; colorful jewelry might take us to a playdate, whereas velvet shoes could be a day-to-night look. And we've probably all layered a dress under a warm scarf in times of transitional weather. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
it with a heavier skirt on top (yes, you can wear a skirt over a dress!). Texture play is really important in the colder months to keep things feeling interesting when the colors get darker. Donning a dress and playing with layers—underneath, on top, or both!— offers up just this sort of fun. The versatility of this one piece, then, deepens the possibility in your closet; something to celebrate, indeed.
1
Celebrate the Dress Change the way your dress feels through styling and layering, and extend the life and usefulness of one of your favorite pieces.
1
Professional For a unique, work-appropriate look, layer your dress over a button-down shirt. Pair with a fun necklace and cute, comfortable shoes. Voila! You're ready for anything from a work lunch to happy hour. Style Tip: Avoid dresses with asymmetrical, boat/square, or sweetheart necklines that will clash with the collar from the button down.
2
2
Posh Take an a-line skirt with festive flair and layer it over your dress. Now your dress is a top! Pair it with velvet shoes and a dressy necklace and you're ready for the holiday party at work or a fancy dinner sans kids. Style Tip: Choose a dress with a built-in waist to keep a good balance of volume on top with volume on bottom.
3
Playful To make a dress cozy enough for winter, layer a pull-over sweater on top of it. Booties and colorful jewelry keep this look comfortable and appropriate for lunch with friends, a playground meetup, or casual Friday. Style Tip: Tuck the sweater up into itself to create a waist and roll the sleeves to a 3/4 length for an even comfier look.
3
STYLIST + CLOTHING
Swap-It is a secondhand boutique and styling service in Medford, MA. They believe women can feel good in their clothes every day. Find out more at @aswappinggoodtime. FEATURED JEWELRY
Catherine Maldonado @teepearls PHOTOGRAPHER
Casee Marie @oneofthefolk
The JOY ISSU E
| | 33
P H O T O by @ K F P P H O T O G R A P H Y
P E R SP ECT I V ES from T H E PA N EL
Q
How do you keep traditions manageable?
Having boundaries is key for me to lead a life that is more intentional
Shayna Holistic Life Coach @shaynamahoneyxo shaynamahoney.com
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
and less stressful. Simplifying and letting go of perfection has been necessary. I prioritize and say no when needed. I ask for help when I need it rather than trying to do everything myself. I surround myself with people who understand and love me. I do the best I can and try not to put so much expectation on myself.
REALIZE
My family has always honored connection as the most important “tradition,� and the rest sort of falls away. Easter / Passover weekend is usually spent at our home in Fairfield, but this year we
Cathey
acknowledged that having dinner in a restaurant on Long Island was the best way for our family to be together. We were and it was
TPY Partner + Collaborator
beautiful. Making the effort to sit, connect, and share our love and
@cathey.april
respect for each other means more than any other tradition right now.
Summer Health & Wellness Coach @summer_delaine summerdelaine.com
Allison Sensual Living Coach @allisonlrichard allisonrichard.com
I have learned the value of saying 'no.' No to material things, societal norms, and the expectations of others. Owning that mindset has allowed me to say 'yes' when I want to and be present with my whole being. When I am able to fully commit because I have intentionally participated, the experience is genuine for everyone who is involved.
Traditions (to me) are about reconnecting and fulfillment. While I absolutely love traditions, if I find they start feeling more like a todo or a drain on my energy than an experience that brings me joy and lights me up, I lovingly recognize it is time to revise them or let them go.
My husband and I always take the day after Thanksgiving off to put our Christmas decorations up. It may sound silly but this is one of my favorite days of the year. We put on our favorite Christmas
Lesley
albums and then bring everything up from the basement. We go through all the boxes and reminisce about past holidays and people
TPY Collaborator
that are no longer with us. When it gets dark, we light the tree and
@mrsp825
admire our handy work.
The JOY I SSU E
|
35
M A I N P H O T O by @ M A R K I E J O N E S P H O T O G R A P H Y L L C
REALIZE
Self-Care Suggestions Write a hand-written letter or card.
Thank a friend for all the joy she brings into your life simply by being herself. Cite reasons you intentionally decided you wanted her as a friend.
Fireside Friend Circle. Bundle up and gather your friends and family around an outdoor fire to share stories, sing songs, and joyfully celebrate under the night sky.
C EL EBRAT E T H E S EA S O N
November brings us bright colors as the leaves change, fragrant smells from fireplaces, and crisp cool air on our skin. Take some time to celebrate the bounty around us by spending time outdoors, with friends, family or on your own. This month's toolkit encourages you to honor the season we are in. An autumnal altar celebrates the natural elements of the season; add Yellow Topaz to encourage receptivity and attract bounty. While in your altar space, call on the goddess Lakshmi to bring you spiritual and material gifts and diffuse Cinnamon Bark Oil to add some spice to your day. Connect to nature, yourself, and your loved ones by becoming attune to, and honoring, the sights and sounds of Fall.
E S S E N T I A L O IL
C RYSTAL
GODDES S
PRACT IC E
Cinnamon Bark Oil
Yellow Topaz
Lakshmi
Autumn Altar
BENEFITS
BENEFITS
BENEFIT S
BENEFI TS
Awakens the senses; attracts wealth; stimulates libido
Creates receptivity to love and good fortune from all sources
Encourages us to celebrate both material and spiritual bounty
Provides a place to get quiet and honor the bounty of the season
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
W O R D S + T O O L K I T C U R A T I O N by @ LY D I A M A N D E L L
A RT W O R K by @ CR A F T I VAT ECT
to align your physical space with your ever-evolving self
The JOY ISSU E
|
37
A R T W O R K by @ M S D D E S I G N
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y @ C M J O H N S O N A R T
Herbs / (h) rbs / noun e
Sacred, savory bits of life
The JOY ISSU E
|
39
Sacred Table with
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Lee Lee McKnight
DW E L L
With intention, the act of setting the table can be both grounding and joyful—a worthy atmosphere for any type of gathering.
S
etting the table is an act of service—both to one's design aesthetic and one's dinner guests. More than just a backdrop for
the main event (food, of course!), a generously apportioned table serves to elevate the very act of eating and to illume the colors and textures of the dishes being served. We need not wait for a special day, however, to enter into this sacred rite. A Friday night pizza dinner can be just as warm and inviting as a 7-course meal, and with minimal fuss: a tablecloth or some folded napkins; some overgrown flowers from the garden; soothing music in the background. Whether holiday or any other day, the sacredness starts with the act. We carefully set out only what we expect will be needed. We select items of a seasonal palette to enliven the mood. We take inspiration from the food and wine and friends to come. We remain immersed in this moment, our presence sweetened with anticipation.
Lee Lee is obsessed with intentionally styling her home. Connect with her on Instagram @wordsbyleelee. Photo by Kelly Peterson, @kfpphotography
The JOY ISSU E
|
41
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
DWELL
Home as Altar with
LaToya Burton
Create sacred space to refocus on what is important to you.
A
n altar is where you can attend to your heart, where you honor intentions and desires, where the everyday becomes sacred. Looking
at our entire home in this context allows us to release overwhelm and welcome in simple bounty. Bounty is an abundance of all the right things: exactly what you need in a way that is fulfilling rather than overwhelming. When life sends us challenges, an intentionally designed home can become a safe haven—a guiding space full of things that nourish our souls.
continued next page
The JOY I SSU E
|
43
Do you need space to create and dream? Choose a room to be a studio or office, just for you. A place where you can leave your visual journals and other creations laid out for you to come back to them when you desire. Use special mugs and containers to display your pens, markers, and brushes in plain view. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Dwell on This Set your intentions in your home through physical actions that give you mental and emotional ques. This is your sacred space.
1
Offer. Small touches can be magical. Try a disco ball at your window to throw sparkles around your room. A string of fairy lights or feathers can add whimsy and a softness to an entry way. Sprinkle gold accents throughout your space to add extra shine!
2
Pray. Give appreciation every time you walk through the door. Give thanks through the colors you spread through your space, whether it be a vase of flowers at the entry or the art or accessories you layer through the space. Let these be reminders that light you up!
3
Meditate. Sometimes we just need a comfy seat with a view something to gaze upon - a natural setting outdoors or the room you sit within. Take time to just be and observe. Pull up a romantic cushion and a cozy throw and settle in for a while.
Perhaps you need a space to relax and find peace? Let your living room play this role, offering a range of seating to suit your mood with nearby surfaces to place a soothing cup of tea while you enjoy time alone or in the company of those closest to you. What theme or guiding word will allow you to let bounty in? What will you dedicate your home to? Your home asks nothing of you; it is here to support you and nurture your joy. Light a candle and sit with your desires. Allow your home to speak to your heart.
LaToya is a mama / imaginer / gypsy nomad who explores life through the lens of interiors, imagination, and inspiration. She lives on a bus with her husband and son exploring the Australian landscape. For more inspiration, follow her @latoyaburton_musing. Featured Home / Photo Credit: Mindy Tsonas @mindytsonas creator of Studiofemme, embodied artist, embody love facilitator, love maker of all sorts.  The JOY I SSU E
|
45
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
small kitchen,
Lots of Joy Words by Lesley
Photos by Allie
Paolucci Dearie
The JOY ISSU E
|
47
DWELL
My house may be older and on the small side but it is not short on love, laughter and happiness. There's no better room to showcase this than through my favorite room in my house: the kitchen.
B
uilt in 1870, the house was flipped before we purchased it in 2004. The kitchen, part of the renovation, sold the house to me when we first saw it. There is a step down from the dining
room (which is the old part of the house) that flows right into the kitchen—a traditional, New England design that I love. My morning starts the same way pretty much each day. I am an early riser and love coming down to soak up all the sunlight through the glass door and sip coffee at the table. So much sunlight comes through and makes it so bright and cheerful in here.
continued on page 50
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it. – JULIA CHILD
The JOY I SSU E
|
49
The sliding door leads out to our deck and backyard—a beautiful view whatever the season. I feel fortunate to be able to look out and see the trees covered in beautiful leaves in the fall or a blanket of snow in the winter. The dogs and cat enjoy sleeping on the rug in front of the door, too. I wanted a neutral look and didn’t want to cover the door with something too heavy or busy so I made curtains out of drop cloths that I bought at the hardware store. The window over the sink brings more joy and pleasantness to the chore of washing dishes, and my plants are very thankful for the sunshine. I keep my countertops somewhere between bare and cluttered. I try to keep things out that we use a lot such as utensils, cooking tools, and a glass jar of coffee—easier than rummaging around in drawers or cabinets!
continued on next page
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The JOY ISSU E
|
51
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
TPY Marketplace Shop consciously for handmade goods from women we know and trust.
"Be You" Keychain
Items not used regularly are stored in the drawers and cabinets. I keep a tray next to the sink that holds dish soap, sponges, and spray cleaner. You will always find a giant bowl of fresh produce out on my countertop as well.
Core Values Banner
The tin backsplash was an easy and cost-efficient project that adds some pizzazz to the white cabinets and dark countertops, and texture to an overall neutral pallet. The tin comes in sheets and all you need is a little free time and a good pair of shears. I was able to complete the entire project in one afternoon. I am a lover of thrifting and antiquing and I like to sprinkle my finds throughout the house. Open shelving in the kitchen allows me to showcase some of my most treasured finds. Blue mason jars, old tins and vintage kitchen scales make my heart sing.
continued on next page
Mantra Pillow (4 options available)
The JOY I SSU E | 53 theperpetualyou.com/the-marketplace
TPY Marketplace Shop consciously for handmade goods from women we know and trust.
The shelves are also fun to decorate for the holidays. Pumpkins and turkeys in the fall and white twinkly lights in the winter. It adds so much Big Mala Necklace (4 options available)
coziness and charm! The top of my refrigerator holds my antique milk bottle collection and a few pigs for that farmhouse feel. I never thought of myself as a creative person until I learned to cook. After a weekend of lying in bed sick and watching many cooking shows, something sparked inside of me. I started to experiment with different dishes and different ingredients that I had never tasted before. After moving into our current kitchen, which is as functional as it is beautiful, I have been able to pursue this new passion. Food naturally brings people together, and I love having friends over, prepping a meal and cooking, while they gather at my kitchen table. We've shared the best stories and laughs over this table along with numerous glasses of wine and delicious food. The memories we have created are truly special.
Self-care Magnets
Unexpectedly, I have also became a major foodie. I honestly look forward to rainy or snowy days so that I can stay home and make something delicious. When it’s warm and cozy in your house there is nothing better than a soup or sauce simmering or a turkey roasting in the oven with fresh cranberry sauce bubbling away on the stove top. My husband and I hardly ever go out to dinner. It’s so nice to come home from work and prepare a meal together while chatting about our day. In the end, the kitchen reflects and honors the house’s age and history while allowing us the convenience of a modern-day lifestyle. Kitchens are the hardest working room in the house. Even though my kitchen is small I am so thankful it has ample work space for cooking and flexible space for meals and dinner parties. I decorated and organized it in a way that works well for us. I feel it truly is the heart of the home, and it
Desired Feelings Candle, 4oz. tin (4 options available)
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
theperpetualyou.com/the-marketplace
brings me joy to be in this room.
Design Values If great design brings you joy, but you don’t love the prices that go along with it, shopping in secondhand shops, browsing outlets, and finding smaller batch, smaller priced goods are wonderful ways in which to save on the budget. You probably even have a bounty of useable decor lying around your own home! Flea Market Finds.
1
If you're willing to forgive the flaws, secondhand décor and furniture is a wonderful, sustainable way to round out your rooms. Whether you need a small table for storage, or something quirky to hang on the wall, thrift stores & flea markets are almost certain to have it. Be willing to dig, and—to maximize your time—make a list of wanted items beforehand.
2
Overstocked Outlets. For linens, pillows, and seasonal décor, outlets offer a wide selection for not as much money (or hassle!). A semi-annual trip to a warehouse sale can result in lots of good finds—or go online and see if you can purchase ahead. For the greatest of ease, you can even have your purchases delivered to your door.
3
Etsy, Etc. Love handmade accessories? Don't let Pinterest fool you into thinking making something yourself is "cheaper"! Unless you're using materials you already own, chances are the costs to create will be the same or even greater. If you want to make something, by all means go right ahead! But if all you want is the handmade look, then Etsy's your new best friend. Bonus: your purchase supports a small batch maker!
4
In Your Home! If you've lived in your house for some time, you might be surprised at how refreshing moving a longstanding piece to a new spot in the home can be. Wardrobes can become breakfronts for linens or stand-alone linen closets. Chairs can be mixed up or moved around. Even swapping your bedroom throw pillows with those in the living room can bring a feeling of New to your "redesigned" room.
Lesley is a coffee lover, major DIYer, homebody, reader, lover of all things vintage and antique, wannabe chef, happy wife, fur baby mama and accountant (serious numbers nerd). She is also currently on our Perspectives Panel! Connect with her on Instagram @mrsp825. Photos by Allie Dearie, @alliedearie The JOY I SSU E
|
55
Shop the Look The kitchen is the place where beauty and function collide: scents, textures, utility, purpose. Minimal real estate on the stove top means limiting your decorating choices to only those items most necessary—your favorite vintage teapot (or a lookalike), a simple spot to rest the spoon—and an extra surprise, if you've got the room: a surplus candle that smells as good as it looks.
Click on any product title to shop these featured goods: HAND-POURED CANDLE by Farm + Sea ($10) ∙ STONEWARE SPOON REST from Magnolia Home ($12) ∙ T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
TIN BACKSPL ASH from American Tin Ceilings ($7/sheet)
Vintage Verde corresponds to Benjamin Moore 622
Woven Cane corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2137-20
Looks Like Linen corresponds to Benjamin Moore 270
Illustrious corresponds to Benjamin Moore CW-680
NE U TRAL + NE AT
In this Kitchen, from our featured Dwelling, a neutral palette is enhanced by sparkling surfaces, textured accessories, and fresh touches of nature. The pleasant effect is a clutterfree atmosphere that enlivens one's senses even as it calms any concerns being felt within. Is your kitchen already a bounty of neutrality? Here are some ideas for incorporating this color palette in other rooms:
Keen on Clean corresponds to Benjamin Moore 1457
Calm + Collected.
Ready-to-Work.
Healing Half-Bath.
Take your control center from
Clean off your work-from-
A little used bath is a nice
cluttered to calm by infusing
home desk, give it a fresh coat
space to keep bright and
pale shades of creams and
of sparkling white paint, and
(mostly) white. Keep the space
browns. Add in a little sparkle,
invest in some high-end desk
sparse but luxurious—with
some natural touches, and lots
accessories in neutral tones.
neutral towels, oil-bronzed
of organizational tools.
Top off with a small succulent!
hardware, and art inspired by nature.
The JOY ISSU E
|
57
P H O T O by @ K F P P H O T O G R A P H Y, L E T T E R I N G by @ M A D E B Y E L AY N A
– JAN PHILLIPS
A RT W O R K by @ CR A F T I VAT ECT
to align your life story with your ever-evolving sense of self
T H REE Q U ES T I O N S
with
Eva
What's one practice in your daily life
What's one aspect of your physical space
For you, what is the relationship of
that brings you Joy?
that aligns with your idea of Bounty?
Bounty to Joy?
Gardening, hands-down. I have a very busy mind, which is great when it comes to productivity, but can be mentally exhausting over time. Working with my hands out in the earth is one of the few activities I've found that really quiets my mind and lets me think about absolutely nothing at all. I just get to enjoy the fresh, lush air, the vibrant scenery, and the feeling of nurturing and creating life.
I am someone who loves their knick-knacks: really pretty ceramics bowls and linen towels and antique bottles and the like. Since I use them in my work, it's a bit of an excuse to go a little overboard on them. Having this bounty of beautiful objects around me in my home brings me a lot of joy every time I look at them, and I'm constantly inspired by them— like the shape of a vintage bundt pan or the color of a handmade ceramic dish.
Having a bounty of living, growing things all around me in the garden gives me an intense feeling of joy every single time I step outside, and I'm incredibly lucky that I get to make that bounty a part of my daily life in my career as well as my personal life. If you find something that makes you happy, something that makes you feel truly and positively wonderful, make it as much a part of your life as you possibly can. You won't regret it, I promise!
The JOY ISSU E
|
61
A C O N V E R S AT I O N with E VA K O S M A S F L O R E S
Words by Crystal
Cathcart
Photography by Markie T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Jones
The JOY ISSU E
|
63
There is something truly powerful about the moment when we find that we are permitting ourselves to become fully immersed in a meaningful and intentional, self-determined journey. When we recognize that we have been carefully navigating our way around this crazy world and seeking something more.
Being mindful of our steps and the path we have been leaving behind us as we’ve pushed forward, rather than getting swept away in consumerism, derailed by self-doubt, or simply ignoring the daily reminders of how much we have been blessed with in our lives.
The life and work of Eva Kosmas Flores demonstrates the beauty of bountiful, mindful living—surrounding ourselves with small actions that contribute towards bigger and better things. From gardening, to cooking, to writing, to styling and photographing, Eva's entire life centers around bounty that is beautiful and delicious.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
F
or Eva, spending time in the garden is the act that starts an incredible progression of sharing her love and stretching that
photo by Eva
love across the globe as far as possible. From the moment her hands get to start working the warm
Food Photography 101
soil in her Oregon garden, Eva’s mind is slowing down and focusing on connecting to the Earth.
Have you joined the long list of Instagram
In nature, Eva can be at one with the moment, feeling the soil under her nails and knowing
foodies sharing their meals for all to see? Set
she's cultivating enough of a harvest—pear trees,
yourself apart from the crowd by maintaining
berries, assorted vegetables and dozens of
authenticity above perfection. Below are some
varieties of tomatoes—to share the bounty with
of the ways Eva gets the picture she wants when
everyone around her.
photographing + styling food.
The moments spent in the garden have led her to a much larger journey: a journey so close to home, even while it takes her to locations across
1
Highlight the Food. Eva uses the colors and tones of the food she's photographing to inform her photography decisions. "When I'm thinking about the story I want an image to tell, I try to create a visual scene that will emphasize and draw the eye to the color of the food," she says. For example, strawberries are "very saturated" so she would use neutral props and surfaces to "let the food shine through."
the globe. The journey starts with her own dinner table, where she is surrounded by dear friends—the harvest of her own garden and the fruits of her cooking. Her garden also takes her to photography, in which she captures the warm colors and textures of the season, and to her pen, by which she
2
records her love for locally sources quality food.
When styling a dish to be photographed, Eva insists on fresh ingredients. This allows her to "tell the story of what's inside the dish and where it came from." She gives the example of photographing a tomato chevre tart, and using "a bounty of fresh heirloom tomatoes from my garden, and even some tomato leaves, in the styling of the finished scene."
Both Eva's food photography and her recipes are gorgeously captured in her book, First We Eat. Eva's work also takes her to faraway lands where she meets similar people like herself with a shared passion for getting soil under their own nails. Finally, she is brought back to her garden where she can just be: moments of peace, dedicated focus, and connection with the Earth, as it wants to be connected to that exact moment.
Use What's Fresh.
3
Collaborate with Others. When you do a collaborative photoshoot for your blog or for Instagram with other photographers, it helps you learn new ways of shooting and gives you a fresh set of eyes. They might style in a new way that speaks to you, or shoot using certain camera settings that you weren't familiar with before. Through collaborating, you're broadening your horizons and creating a breadth of experience that you can draw from in your own work later on.
continued on next page
The JOY I SSU E
|
65
As we reflect on the joys of gardening and all the wonder that it brings, Eva giddily describes how this mindfulness reaches into her home. Little nooks and crannies have cabinets filled with dishes, allowing for her tasty dishes to be enjoyed. Bowls and plates are waiting around corners and craving to jump out of their homes. Eva has a special tone in her voice when she starts talking about her library. An author herself—she has authored two cookbooks—one would assume her library is filled with books! However, hers is a library of seeds. She describes the process of germinating a seed and taking it on a journey to becoming a plant as nothing short of magical. When asked her about her favorite plants, the conversation naturally shifts to her fascination with heirloom varieties. Eva’s collection of thousands of seeds contain an abundance of rare, and nearly extinct, varieties of plants and flowers. Eva's library of native, heirloom and endangered seeds take her on a journey entirely guided by ground that surrounds her home. When the Earth is ready to welcome them, tiny bulbs and seeds, some as small as the tip of a needle, flourish through the year to produce an overflowing season of giving. The joys of the season range from cooking and mouthwatering smells and colors that span the rainbow; to warmth filling the house, from deep within her oven as well as from the hearts of everyone who enters her home; to slowing down and appreciating a job well done. A season when her hardworking hands become free from the joyful dirt, for just a little while.
continued on page 68
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The JOY ISSU E
|
67
When you look at the photographs Eva shoots you immediately appreciate her eye for the beauty in her muse-of-the-moment, which most of the time is food. Her focus on that exact item is clear and the image being delivered to her audience is precise. Her element is being in that particular item's element. Her ability to bring viewers into the moment is drawn together by her style of approaching each picture from a native mentality: the pie made from ingredients she grew; the tomato hanging on the twisted vine just waiting to be picked; bread being kneaded, or a pot of soup, simmering to perfection. Eva also writes about food. An homage to her upbringing, her
was surrounded by locally sourced vegetables and ate chicken raised on their land. Her second cookbook, First We Eat, is less of a commercial cooking book and more a celebration of her passion to source foods close to home and create flavorful dishes with simple,
first cookbook, which she started five years after starting to
quality ingredients. This cookbook prioritizes seasonal
blog, centers around what she considers to be an important
cooking driven by the offerings of the local land, without
element of her childhood and a culturally appropriate protein.
the need to acquire exotic spices or be schooled in advanced
Adventures in Chicken takes you into Eva's childhood, when she
cooking concepts.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
With her cookbooks, Eva hopes to enter the homes of kitchens across the world with a message of appreciating beautiful dishes with savoring flavors from good ingredients at the prime of their season, and enjoying this food over moments with friends and loved ones.
As much as Eva feels rooted to her Portland, Oregon community—where she resides with her husband, cat, two dogs, seven chickens, and hive of bees—she has an uncontrollable desire to travel and discover new, authentic cooking styles from all over the world. She travels to promote her cookbooks, as well as to share her love for photography and cooking by hosting workshops across the globe.
continued on next page The JOY ISSU E
|
69
She has become so love-struck by the village in Croatia, and food that her hosts have blessed them with over the years, that she has even brought back their traditional cooking dishes so that she can continue to indulge in— and share—the authentic experience anytime she wants.
It is amazing what can grow out of a few seeds. With just a little nourishment, our ideas overflow, leading to a bounty of fulfillment and satisfaction, coupled with a desire to keep growing. To try something new. To stretch past our current pot, and let our roots expand to something bigger. It’s a wonderful feeling when our lives lead us on a From Thailand to Scotland to Croatia, Eva invites groups of curious travelers on curated workshops to immerse them in the local culture. There, she teaches photography lessons, instructs about the soil and offerings from the Earth, and assists in finding little elements to bring home. For these benefits, and for newfound friends, Eva is happy to stray from Portland occasionally. Eva talks about Croatia as a home away from home. Croatia is the only spot on her travel workshops where she returns to the same town, and same house, trip after trip. Istria is so near and dear to her heart that she describes the garden in their guest house, where meals are freshly sources for her students, as lovingly as if it was her own. When describing he community in Istria, Eva uses the same loving phrases, such as farm-to-table and sharing food from the Earth, as she does when talking about her Portland farm. These genuine feelings translate to a student experience remarkably similar to that of Eva's own life—visiting picturesque Croatian vineyards, and, after a robust day, settling back at the guest house for a dinner of braised local vegetables.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
journey of purpose: feeling content in our actions and aware of our passions; being satisfied with the outcome of our past actions and reminded of the growth we still have ahead of us; knowing that our journey could be difficult at times but pushing forward still. Ideas start as seeds, and with a little nourishment those seeds will germinate into bigger things. Ideas will take off on their own new adventure and create opportunities and challenges that can’t always be predicted. Like seeds, these ideas need to be cared for. Groomed. Watered. They need to be loved, and the love we feel in return grows faster than wildflowers.
By day Crystal Rose Cathcart works in the world of big data and by night is the author of the lifestyle blog Paisley Rosie. She enjoys writing about traveling, interior design, fashion & her adventures in trying different teas. Crystal lives with her boyfriend and three cats in Hamden, Connecticut. Connect with her @paisleyrosie. Photography by Markie Jones
Connect with Eva WEBSITE
evakosmasflores.com WORKSHOPS
firstweeat.co ï… @evakosmasflores
The JOY ISSU E
|
71
– EVA KOSMAS FLORES
P H O T O by @ A L L I E D E A R I E L E T T E R I N G by @ M A D E B Y E L AY N A T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
A RT W O R K by @ CR A F T I VAT ECT
to align your innermost thoughts with your ever-evolving perspective
I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y A M Y M C N A M A R A
Liatris A popular border flower, liatris—also known as blazing star—attracts the good (butterflies) and goes unnoticed by the not-so-good (deer, for one). Representing a wide range of emotion, from satisfaction to bliss, these gorgeous blooms remind us that a celebrated life matures best when tended to carefully.
The JOY ISSU E
|
75
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
LIVE
Choosing to Be Enough with
Casee Marie
How mindfulness helped me break free from chronic dieting and discover body-acceptance.
F
or the first 30 years of my life I believed that I wasn't
cannot be trusted to succeed in taking care of our own bodies.
worthy of being seen. I believed that I would not be
Suppressing our hunger is held up to be the wiser and more
allowed to accept myself until I looked differently. I
capable choice.
believed that I was too much, that I took up too much space. Sometime before I could remember, these beliefs took root. I remember hearing the phrase “diet culture” for the first time in my late twenties, at a time when a significant weight loss on a popular diet program had led me somehow even deeper into body image scarcity. Words like “weight cycling” were new to me. I knew no other culture than diet culture and, try as I might, I knew nothing but shame for living in a bigger body.
THE SOLUTION As I became more aware of diet culture, I also learned about the practice of mindful eating. Mindful eating is about permission and nourishment, about practicing lovingkindness in the way we view our relationship with food. By taking an intuitive approach to what I ate, I was able to validate my cravings while also recognizing emotional eating urges.
THE PROBLEM
For the first time, I felt the freedom of a balance between
Dieting had taught me that not policing my food equated to
choosing what I wanted - really wanted - to eat and avoiding
gluttony, that I couldn't be trusted to make the right decisions
decisions that I would later regret. I realized I could make my
about food when I allowed myself to be unguided. And perhaps
own choices around food and take comfort in the knowledge
worst of all, it taught me that until I read a certain number on
that those choices, when made mindfully, will be from a place
the scale I was just plain not good enough.
of true hunger and craving rather than emotional distress.
The essential motive of diet culture is to market shame in order to sell a manufactured worthiness. We're told that diet and weight loss are all about our health, which then implies we
continued on page 79
The JOY ISSU E
|
77
I V O W. . .
by Casee Marie To never treat my body as anything other than special, and sacred. To remember that my body, as it is in this moment, is a blessing; not something I need to change or be ashamed of; something I need to accept, and especially, to appreciate. To remember that the essence of food is about flavor, exploration, experience rather than what means of changing myself I can achieve by it. To understand that eating what tastes good and excites me does not equate to gluttony. To never shame myself for the number on the scale or the size of my jeans or what I choose to eat or how much I choose to eat, and to forgive myself when I do. To participate in summer, in movement, in my own personal style, rather than waiting or avoiding with the belief that I will be able to be a part of things or have my own experience of things when I have reached the inner sanctum of society's shame-based idealism. To eat, to live, to move, to dress with gratitude for the body I have, not with hope for the body I want. To strive always for peaceful acceptance, and the joy of being comfortable in my own skin rather than the perceived size, body, complexion, hairstyle, and clothes that will help me to be accepted in a world I do not desire. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
THE RELAPSE Along the journey of learning to see myself as enough, I wrote
into my deepest lows, holding onto the belief that choosing leads to tangible change.
a body image manifesto. No journey in life is linear, so it follows
With hard work and a lot of self-awareness, I was able to get
that I forgot about my little manifesto after a while and stepped
clear about the things that were charging my destructive
back into my destructive patterns. When I wasn’t mindful
behaviors and slowly start to take away their power. In my
about my eating, I would subconsciously choose to binge as an
case, an unhealthy relationship was at the core. By showing
outlet for stress.
up for myself in the process of letting go of that relationship,
At my lowest points, I would binge as an act of aggression toward my body and myself, consciously making unhealthy
I experienced an emotional healing that helped me regain a perspective of self-compassion and loving-kindness.
choices as a form of punishment for feeling depressed, lonely,
With each choice, we make a vow. Mindful eating, for me, is a
or anxious. I would even binge out of anger that I couldn’t
vow to participate fully in my experience of life; a vow to grow
change my ways. Ironically, this pattern of disorder put me at
within me a world of abundance. A vow to embrace all the parts
risk for even more harmful behaviors.
of me. I vow to continue to choose wisdom over repression, and to celebrate all that I am.
THE REVOLUTION What makes change happen is the consistent choosing, no matter how many times choosing feels like a struggle. For me, this meant choosing change even in times when I was actively hindering my progress. I would think, Someday I won’t binge anymore, even as I was binging. I chose and I chose, right down
Casee Marie is an intentional poet, amateur photographer, and artist living in Connecticut. Under the moniker of Hope & Harbor she writes poems and prose that encourage a deeper relationship with compassion and vulnerability. When she isn’t creating, she’s likely hanging with her rescue pup, Blaze. Photos by Lisa Nichols, @right_click_photo
Take a Breath. Are you ready to feel inspired and more alive in your body and soul? Are you ready to step into your true power and free yourself from limiting beliefs? Want to feel whole and complete exactly as you are right now? Begin the journey to your truest self by scheduling a free connection call at lydiamandell.com. Conscious Connected Breathwork, Shamanic Healing, Movement, Coaching.
MANDELL The JOY I SSU E
|
79
LIVE
Honor Yourself, First H O W E L E VAT E D S E L F - C A R E C A N L E A D T O I M P R O V E D R E L AT I O N S H I P S with
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Summer Herd
LIVE
Exploring the practices that make you feel whole will allow you to pay attention to the things you feel a responsibility towards. Women. We are the caregivers.
We organize time and people. We prepare the meals, taking into consideration everyone’s dietary needs and requests. We manage the home and keep it tidy. We lovingly occupy the responsibilities of our lives and the lives of the ones we love. While juggling work, family, and all the extras, the one person we often neglect is ourselves—and we are left feeling unsatisfied if not empty. I have been in that empty place. I’ve been uncomfortable in my skin, unsure if all the effort I was giving was right and working. I've questioned myself. I've felt guilt and shame, knowing that I need to take better care of my body and my spirit…. for both myself and my family. I loved, but hated a job that was occupying so much of my time and energy that at the end of the day I had nothing left to give anyone else... including myself. Even though I wasn't sure I was content, I lacked motivation to reach for more. I felt like I had tried and failed (or just walked away) from so many things because they didn’t feel right, or it wasn’t the right time. I didn’t really see the point in attempting anything new so I busied myself with stuff. You know the stuff: the Facebook and Instagram; the distractions, the low stakes time-suckers. In my heart, I knew that my life was pretty fantastic. I was blessed (and worked hard) at a happy marriage. My daughter was strong, fit, and bright. I lived in paradise. I just couldn’t appreciate it at the time because I'd lost myself. As I edged closer to my 40th birthday the need to DO something became overwhelming. I didn’t know what exactly.. but I knew that something had to give or all joy would fade away. I wanted to feel and understand, to know and to create. Still, I had no idea how to find the answers I was looking for.
continued on next page
The JOY ISSU E
|
81
At the same time I was pontificating on what my purpose-
products became my everything. I cleaned up my diet, learning
driven life should look like, I found out I had ovarian cysts. This
what foods cause inflammation and what foods helped.
particular health issue was not my first rodeo; however, the cysts caused debilitating menstrual pain, which clouded my moods and that was relative AND relevant for where I was in
Next, I eliminated the use of toxic products in my home from floor cleaner, to lotion, and laundry detergent. I began to use
that moment.
therapeutic grade essential oils when my head hurt, or my
My doctor immediately put me on hormone therapy—something
and I replaced negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
I was admittedly opposed to. I knew with 100% certainty that there was something else I could do. He didn’t agree and said to
cramps were unbearable. I diffused them to better my mood,
As my body healed, so did my spirit and zest for life. I started
follow his protocol.
to feel more whole, more myself. With that came the desire to
Over the course of the treatment I became more and more
similar experiences. The idea that making small adjustments
uncomfortable in my body. The menstrual pain was gone
daily in routine and choices would create sustainable change
because I didn’t have a period, yet the rest of my body was
was so empowering.
overwhelmed by the addition of unwanted hormones. I began to
share. I had learned so much, and I knew that other women had
research and find my own answers.
Why hadn’t my doctor told me this? Why wouldn’t he listen
I learned to let food be thy medicine. I learned what ‘alternative’
obstinatance. Creating a life and career rooted in self-healing
methods helped and healed. My relationship with food and
bridged a gap for me I didn’t even know was there. I found
when I spoke up for myself? In a way I am grateful for his
my passion. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Once my body was feeling better and my mood had improved, my focus became crystal clear. I wanted to help, to heal, to empower and to educate. I then made it my mission to help women lean how to fill their own cups, to feel empowered to take control of their health and wellness and to satisfy the needs, as well as wants that are required in order to live an
As we learn to nurture the inner dialogue and allow ourselves
exceptional life.
the opportunity to listen to our intuition, we can be true to our needs and wants, and we can be more present, appreciative, and
A recurring theme in my coaching sessions and in my yoga
receptive to what’s going on around us. By looking at your own
classes is honoring yourself. In order to do that we must have a
experience, evaluating your own life, and claiming your own
relationship with ourselves. It is essential that we ask ourselves
tenacity, you can make choices that feel good to you and allow
tough questions sometimes, and it’s imperative that we do the
you to be present in all your relationships.
work of listening to the answers. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship in life. Determining how to foster it is the first step. For some it’s as simple as acknowledging self-care as a priority and taking time to read a book, enjoy a hot bath, or get a massage. For others, more attention is required.
Summer Herd is a mom, wife, writer, wine lover and foodie based in the Florida Keys. She has turned her passion for extraordinary living into a career as holistic health coach, wellness advocate and yoga teacher and she anchors it all in gratitude. Connect with her @summer_delaine. Photos by CreateHer Stock, @createherstock
The JOY I SSU E
|
83
Le vital corps Salon Sonic comfort + conversation for women who don’t have time for BS or burnout
Hosted by
Kara Martin Snyder
thebravefilespodcast.com
vitalcorpswellness.com
Uplifting Podcasts to Listen To
motherhood, identity, & the messy stuff in between T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
– MELODY BEATTIE
P H O T O by @ K F P P H O T O G R A P H Y L E T T E R I N G by @ M A D E B Y E L AY N A
The JOY I SSU E
|
85
Leave Autopilot Behind H O W & W H Y T O L I V E M I N D F U L LY
Words by
Megan Fenyoe
Photography by
A Life Unstill
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The JOY I SSU E
|
87
LIVE
Living on autopilot is a habit and disengaging from it does take effort. Take it one moment at a time and it will get easier.
M
indful living is about living in the present moment
You might see a distressing story on the news. You feel angry and
without judging yourself or others. For many people,
sad. But instead of reaching for your phone to distract yourself,
mindful living is not natural. They tend to live on
you stay in the moment. You acknowledge your emotions without
autopilot. The problem with this is that autopilot mode often
judgement. This frees you from losing a day of productivity
amps you up.
because you were fixated on this one moment.
For example, you’re driving to your favorite nail salon to get a
Another opportunity for mindful living comes during unenjoyable
manicure. You’re excited about treating yourself. But as you’re
moments, like while you’re cleaning your toilet or compiling
driving, you start thinking about the argument you had with
boring data for a client. During these times, it can be tempting to
your spouse three weeks ago. Before you know it, the joy of the
let your mind wander. But part of mindful living is staying in the
current moment is replaced by the anger you held in the past.
moment, even if that moment is unpleasant or uncomfortable.
SIT WITH EMOTIONS Instead of reacting on autopilot to emotional situations, you can choose to focus on the current moment, sit with your emotions, and process them fully over. This allows you to move on with your day, when you are ready, without letting your emotions take over. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
However, just because you’re staying aware during an unpleasant moment, you don’t have to give into feelings of negativity. Instead, focus on appreciation. For example, you might say something like, “I’m grateful that I have enough clients to pay my bills” or “I’m blessed to have a home to clean.” Now, you’ve managed to stay in the moment without focusing on the negative.
Signs You’re Living on Autopilot Mindful living takes practice. Try to spend a week focused on mindful living and see how your thoughts change. As you do so, watch out for the following autopilot “habits.” Constantly Checking Your Phone
BREAK THE CYCLE Living mindfully is an attitude that you can cultivate
Every time you encounter an idle moment, you check your phone. You check emails at red lights. You respond to text messages when you’re in the waiting room. You dictate your to do list into your phone while you’re driving. You’re constantly “connected” but you're missing out on the world around you.
in your life. But first, you have to be willing to let go of autopilot. Many people live on autopilot without realizing it. You find yourself living the same cycle. You wake up, send the kids to school, do your job, eat dinner, and go to bed. Then tomorrow, you do the exact same things again. Understanding what causes autopilot will help you break the cycle, which means you can change your outlook and live in the present. When you learn something new, it requires the best of your awareness and energy at first. But the better you master it, the less effort it takes. For example, think of riding a bicycle. When you were first learning, you needed to invest all of your brain power in doing it. Once you learned this skill, you didn’t need to pay as much attention. You could ride your bike on autopilot. In my work as a coach, I've found the following reasons very common for women living on autopilot: · Information Overload · Have you ever had a computer or laptop overloaded with advertisements? Dozens of them pop up and fill your screen. You try to close one but another five open instead. If you’re like most people, you fix this problem by hitting
Frequently Complaining If you notice that you’re frequently complaining about the same things, then you might be living on autopilot. When focused on the negative, it’s tough to notice the good things in your day like the cashier that asked about your day or the gentleman in line who gave you his spot.
Eating Mindlessly You notice your empty plate but you can’t remember what your food tasted like or you’re surprised to find you’ve eaten more food than you thought you did. This type of disconnect between your body and mind can lead you to overeat and to not enjoy your meals.
Letting Life Happen to You Despite having goals, you’re letting yourself drift along in life, spending the majority of your time reacting to, rather than living life. You live from crisis to crisis, which prohibits you from accomplishing your goals (or even getting started on them!).
the power button and shutting your computer off.
continued on next page The JOY I SSU E
|
89
The real shift lies in perception... recognize and appreciate the wonder of every aspect of life. – SONIA CHOQUETTE · Anxiety or Sadness · Often, anxious thoughts are the result of worrying about the future while sad thoughts are related to regretting the past. This is similar to what happens when you have too much information in your brain. There are dozens of things you need to remember and do, but your brain is overwhelmed with
Mindful living helps because it forces you to stop overthinking. Unless there’s something you can do to change your past, you have to accept what’s happened in your life.
information making it hard to get anything done. Temporarily,
If you do find that you’re frequently haunted by regrets or
this might be helpful; let it go on for too long, though, and
always worrying about tomorrow, it might be smart to speak to
autopilot will take over.
a trained counselor who can help you move on. If the anxiety or sadness is manageable, start paying attention to your autopilot
· Overwhelm or Busyness ·
habits in order to disengage and feel better more often.
The more tasks in our lives that are done by habit, the less alive we feel. This makes it easy to disengage from your daily life and start living on autopilot. While you may not be able to throw away your to do list, try to approach your routine tasks in a different way. For example, instead of buying groceries from the same store you always do, go to a store where you don’t normally shop. Mix up the menu for the week so that you’re trying new dishes. Blast
D E A L W I T H F R U S T R AT I O N S Ironically, the ideal time to be mindful is also one of the hardest times: when you’re encountering a frustration or a problem. Maybe a co-worker accidentally deleted your report or your spouse said something insensitive that really hurt you. Whatever the situation, you’re likely feeling a lot of emotions at once.
music you haven’t listened to in a long time while you work on a
It’s normal to want to blow up and let everything out. While
new project.
this solution might seem helpful at first, this approach is often
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Small Steps to Mindful Living For some people, the concept of mindful living is hard. They want to begin living more mindfully. They just don’t know where to start. If you’re someone that struggles with this, try one of these noticing exercises.
harmful to your relationships. Dealing with your frustrations and problems by staying mindful can be more helpful in the long run.
1
What’s the first drink you reach for in the morning? It might be coffee, tea, or a refreshing smoothie. Before you take your first sip of the day, pause. Smell your drink. What does it smell like? Taste it. What is the temperature like? What flavors do you taste? Notice how the cup feels in your hand as you take another sip. Swallow slowly and concentrate on how your muscles contract as your liquid travels down your esophagus.
Start by acknowledging how you feel. Try saying something simple to yourself like, “I’m angry that (person) did (action).” Take a few deep breaths. Acknowledge other emotions you feel bubbling to the surface like overwhelm, anger, sadness, jealousy, etc.
2
A N A LY Z E T H E S I T U AT I O N from, it’s important to pause and ask yourself if your emotions are in proportion to what happened. Sometimes, we react to a minor incident because we’re
3
you’re tempted to yell at them. But you pause and realize you’re angry because you received bad news in an email earlier. You just attributed those emotions to the coffee spill. When your frustration or problem has to do with decide to confront them. Could it be that you’ve been projecting your emotions onto someone else? Can you explain how they feel? Are you willing to step in their shoes for just a moment to look at this situation from their perspective?
Listen to Music. Sit in your most comfortable chair and play some background music that relaxes you. As you listen, focus on your breath. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Take deep belly breaths. Allow the thoughts to come and go without trying to hold too tightly to them. Examine each thought like an observer. If your body starts resisting being still, adjust your posture or scratch an itch if needed. Then go back to noticing.
For example, someone spills coffee on your desk and
someone else, think about it carefully before you
Go for a Walk. Spend ten minutes in nature, noticing your environment as you walk. Feel the breeze on your skin and in your hair. Do you hear any birds singing? What flowers do you see? What thoughts are coming up? Bring a camera and a notebook. Snap pictures of items that stand out. Write down what made them stand out. Color, texture, shape, pattern, sounds or smells.
In addition to asking where the emotions are coming
not acknowledging a problem in another area.
Savor Your Drink.
4
Color and/or Journal. Choose a coloring page that inspires you. As you color, notice how the colors you have chosen make you feel. What does it feel like to move the pen, marker, or pencil over paper? What thoughts are coming up, and how are they affecting you? You may want to journal some of these emotions, or to alternate between coloring and journaling if it helps you.
continued on next page
The JOY ISSU E
|
91
Sometimes, a frustration or problem comes along that can be handled easily. Ask yourself if you can change the situation. For example, getting angry about an invoice mistake that was made six months ago isn’t helpful. Ask yourself what your choices are and which one is the best response.
TRUST THE PROCESS Don’t berate yourself if you don’t handle every frustration or problem mindfully. Instead, acknowledge that you could have dealt with the situation differently and move on. Mindful living isn’t about getting right every time or being perfect. It’s about living in this moment. Understand that you may feel uncomfortable the first few times that you attempt to practice being mindful. This is completely normal and just means that you’re not use to living in the moment. Adopt mindful practices that you can work on regularly, and you will eventually become comfortable with the concept of living mindfully.
Megan R. Fenyoe is a Veteran, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Transformational Mindset Coach, Best Selling Author, Professional Speaker and Host of The Blonde Bombshell Podcast. She is a contributing writer for Thrive Globaland is the Amazon Best Selling Author of You Are Enough: 5 Steps To Move From Struggle To Strength. Megan has been featured on SiriusXM Radio, TV/Radio Shows, multiple podcasts, and in various magazines. Megan’s passion and purpose in life is to share her story in hopes to support and encourage others to believe they are ENOUGH! Connect with her atmissionstrengthsd.com or on Instagram @megan.fenyoe. Photography by Willy Wilson @lifeunstill
JAN 11-13
Join The Perpetual You in for a weekend of connection to reawaken your soul and warm your spirit. Explore the sensory gifts of intentional living through guided workshops on yoga, breathwork, creativity, meditation, and self-awareness. With the evocative seaside as your backdrop, you'll unearth the power of camaraderie while envisioning your year in a safe, sacred environment. Tickets + Details at WarmthRetreatwithTPY.eventbrite.com. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
LIVE
Images from Kara Martin Snyder's 33K Task List Project archives. With the task lists she collects, Kara plans to create a large-scale work of art and change the conversation about stress, obligation, and desire. To be a part of this meaningful project, send your handwritten task lists to Kara Snyder / vital corps, P.O. Box 453, Hurley, NY 12443 Photo Credits: @julietlofarophoto
The JOY ISSU E
|
93
@THEFUNKYHIPPIE101
@MRSP825
@GARRETTOUILLE
@SUMMER_DELAINE
@WORDSBYLEELEE
@SHENNAAGUILAR
@PAYPAR38
@LESSWASTE_MORELOVE
@RAWJO
# MYPL AT EI S FU L L
What if, instead of being overwhelmed by #allthethings, we could pause for a moment to celebrate the fullness of our lives? We have enough. Our needs are met, and then some. Our tables are beautifully dressed and our lives are blessedly full. With intention comes noticing; with noticing comes appreciation. And through appreciation, we can reclaim Joy.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
MO N T H LY MA N T RA
M A N T R A b y K R Y S TA L B R A N D T P H O T O by @ J O A N N A _ F I S H E R L E T T E R I N G by @ M A D E B Y E L AY N A
P H O T O by @ B E L A T H E E , L E T T E R I N G by @ M A D E B Y E L AY N A