SEPTEMBER 2014 l ELUL 5774•TISHREI 5775
SAN DIEGO’S LONE SOLDIERS
Current and past soldiers explain why they felt called to serve Israel
HIGH HOLIDAYS
Our annual list of services and more sweet stories for the new year
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CONTENTS
September 2014 Elul 5774/Tishrei 5775
63
COVER STORY: Two IDF soldiers from San Diego talk about their experiences in two different operations in Gaza.
40
HIGH HOLIDAYS: Everything you need to know about Holiday services from every corner of the county.
32
SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP: Tifereth Israel does away with dues, and others work to create new programs to encourage long-term commitment.
70 4 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
FEATURE: The Camp Mountain Chai Women’s Retreat offers respite and community-building for busy modern women.
Income Generation in Retirement Our conversation on retirement income can help you move from “Can I retire?” to “How can I make the most of my retirement?”
78 IN THIS ISSUE: 51 HIGH HOLIDAYS:
Two organizations offer very different ways to observe this Holiday season
52 HIGH HOLIDAYS:
What to wear to services
57 HIGH HOLIDAYS:
Curt Leviant translates a Sholem Aleichem story “Told on a Train”
74 FEATURE:
Senator Marty Block talks about the new Jewish Caucus
81 OP-ED:
Boycott, divest, sanction: Should we be worried?
83 BUSINESS:
International Bath and Tile
Good Eats 78 Food
While most people understand the importance of saving for retirement, the concept of retirement income planning may be less familiar. Retirement income planning is a holistic process to help address key retirement decisions, effectively manage risks, and efficiently provide ongoing income to meet both the clients’ current and long-term retirement needs. We can support you by providing the guidance needed to make better, more informed choices to help provide a retirement as flexible as you are. As experienced advisors, we take the time to understand your unique goals to help create a plan tailored for you – one that will modify and change over time.
Around Town 10 Mailbag 12 Our Town 14 Event Recap 86 What’s Goin’ On 96 Calendar In Every Issue 8 The Starting Line 18 Parenting 20 Israeli Lifestyle 22 Dating 24 Guest 26 Spirituality 28 Israel 91 News 95 Diversions 101 Desert Life
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www.sdjewishjournal.com September 2014 • Elul 5574/Tishrei 5775 PUBLISHER • Dr. Mark S. Moss CO-PUBLISHER • Mark Edelstein EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Natalie Jacobs CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Peter Talhamé ASSISTANT EDITOR • Tinamarie Bernard ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak ADVERTISING DIRECTOR • Mark Edelstein CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tori Avey, Betsy Baranov, Linda Bennett, Abby Walker, Leah Singer, David Ebenbach, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Michael Fox, Jennifer Garstang, Amanda Kelly, Brie Stimson, Miki Lamm, Pat Launer, Curt Leviant, David Ogul, Pamela Price, Sharon Rosen Leib, Nikki Salvo, Andrea Simantov CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS/ARTISTS Vincent Andrunas, Ediz Benaroya, Leigh Castelli, Leetal Elmaleh, Pepe Fainberg, Steve Greenberg, Pat Krause, Paul Ross (Senior Travel Photographer), Angela Sissa, Daisy Varley, Nicholas Patton ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Ronnie Weisberg (Account Executive), Alan Moss (Palm Springs) SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 638-9801 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, CA 92121
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EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: sales@sdjewishjournal.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: publisher@sdjewishjournal.com ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: calendar@sdjewishjournal.com SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2014 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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SanDiegoJewishJournal
SHANA TOVA! . . . u o y g Wishin
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THE STARTING LINE by Natalie Jacobs Editor of the San Diego Jewish Journal editor@sdjewishjournal.com
Different Roads to the Same Place
H
opefully you remember the survey we invited you to take last month. There were two theater tickets and $100 to Nosh on the line. Ring a bell? Ok, well, it happened and the responses have been great to read. Two things stand out: there is a strong desire for more coverage of local news and events, and there’s a loud call for information that appeals to the 40 and younger crowd. There’s also interest in more political stories. All of these are things we’ve been discussing around the office for the past few months. We sit in our staff meetings and we look at each other (all five of us) and we think: We’re young. We’re running around San Diego every night and weekend. We follow politics. Let’s bring that perspective to the magazine! Then the ideas start flowing from there. So I can assure you, we’re on it. It’s such a wonderful thing to be able to walk through the world, see something interesting, ask “What’s Jewish about that?” and then tell you about it. I’ll be honest, at first I was a bit surprised at how wide a net I can cast in the hunt for Jewish stories. Fashion? We’re trying it out this month. Entertainment? We’ve been scratching that surface for a while now. Local government? Yeah, there’s some of that in this issue too. The comments in our survey reminded me of conversations myself and our writers have had with various Jewish groups who are also working to mix things up. Whether it’s a synagogue looking to appeal to young people or a nonprofit working to welcome interfaith families, we’ve all heard from the community at large that there’s a need to appeal
8 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
It’s such a wonderful thing to be able to walk through the world, see something interesting, ask “What’s Jewish about that?” and then tell you about it. to people in new and surprising ways. Grab our precious attention and hold it, somehow, they say. We’re all struggling to stay relevant to everyone else’s busy and crowded lives. As the world changes, how can we change with it? We’re all asking the same questions and we’re all looking to achieve the same results – a stronger community with deeper connections to the things that matter. What has always struck me about Judaism is the willingness of Jewish people to accept individuals and ideas from all across the spectrum. However Jews observe, creating and maintaining a thriving community is always goal number one. While Holiday services will be long and require lots of hard, inward thinking, the best part about this time of year is the opportunity to reinvigorate that community we’re trying so hard to uphold. As you embrace people you haven’t seen in a year and spend quality time with your family, remember to smile toward the future because together we can help it get brighter every day. May you have an easy fast and a truly wonderful new year. A
Happy New Year!
Check pages 40-48 for our comprehensive listing of High Holiday services.
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>> mailbag
We’re Listening! Let us know what you’re thinking.
PEACE Dear Editor: Thank you for your column in the San Diego Jewish Journal [“Back to the Past,” Aug. 2014] and the discussion of peace and compromise. In these very difficult and frightening times, I really appreciate your efforts to focus on possible solutions to the current situation which is neither sustainable nor desirable for Israelis or Palestinians. If we give up hope for a political solution that allows us to protect Israel from rocket barrages and incursions, we condemn ourselves to unending brutality which puts civilians in harm’s way on both sides of the border and elsewhere as the conflict spreads. Diana Kutlow San Diego
WISHFUL THINKING Dear Editor: The self-congratulatory wishful thinking of the lobotomized Jewish left is sometimes enough to drive a rational person nuts. Here are three examples from the San Diego Jewish Journal of Aug. 2014: In your otherwise sweet article reminding us of the relative safety in which we San Diego Jews live, as compared with our relatives on the front lines in Israel [“Back to the
FOLLOW US
Past”], you found it reasonable to quote the moronic opinions of Etgar Keret. Let’s leave aside his statement that no solution can be found in our prayers to G-d. No human being can know less than the maker of such a statement about how, when, or why G-d may answer human prayers. But surely his assertion that we should substitute the word “compromise” for the word “peace” and engage in “dialogue with the other side” defines irrational folly – as if the possibility of dialogue with the barbaric terrorists of Hamas could be anything but a pipe dream. On the same page, you recommend that we keep up with the news by checking a “variety” of sources. Good advice, except that at least three of your four ideas of “variety” are left-aligned organs likelier to be accusing Israelis of racism than to be acknowledging the barbarism of Hamas. Why no mention of Arutz Sheva, The Jerusalem Post, Israel HaYom, or The Algemeiner? The puff piece about the Super PAC “getting ready” to support Hillary Clinton as candidate for President mentions no specific reason why anyone, Jew or gentile, should support Hillary Clinton. The only arguments made in the article are ad hominem (if you are a Hillary detractor you must be a “hardcore partisan Republican” or a “longtime Obama and Clinton basher”) and ad populum (perhaps when undecided Jews see “so many people like them are supporting her, it will persuade them along”). Not a word about Hillary’s lies about Benghazi, about her shady financial deals, about her insufferably strident hypocrisy on Israel accompanying her support of the most anti-Israel U.S. President in generations. Gideon Rappaport Clairemont
IN RESPONSE “HILLARY”
TO
Dear Editor: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me a third time, shame on liberal Jews who trust Hillary Clinton. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton explained that Hamas hides their military weapons among civilians due mainly to geography, not religious extremism or hatred of the state of Israel. In an interview with Fusion TV, Clinton said “Hamas puts its missiles, its rockets in civilian areas; part of it is because Gaza is pretty small and it’s densely populated.” At no time does Clinton mention the official charter of Hamas, a terrorist organization, which denies the right of Israel to exist and asks all Muslims to help “obliterate” it: “Israel will exist and will continue to exist until Islam will obliterate it, just as it obliterated others before it.” But, it seems Sec. Clinton believes geographical limitations trump deeply-held religious hatred, in terms of motivations for terrorism. Felicia Gipsman Poway
CORRECTIONS In the Our Town column in our Aug. issue, people were misidentified in the photo captions. See pg. 12 for corrected captions and new photos from the event. Also in the Aug. issue, a photo caption in the Salvador Dalí story incorrectly noted that the show is in La Jolla. Meyer Fine Art is located in Little Italy. The SDJJ regrets these errors.
Send us your comments: /SanDiegoJewishJournal 10 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
@SDJewishJournal
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SUNDAY 09/07 Orange County Journal 1433_RAOCJ
our
TOWN
BY LINDA BENNETT & BETSY BARANOV l BETSY1945@COX.NET PHOTOS COURTESY SEACREST VILLAGE AND BY NICHOLAS PATTON
Seacrest Village Retirement Communities Host Annual 211 Club Patron Recognition Party
Seacrest Village Retirement Communities hosted its annual 211 Club Patron Recognition Party on Sunday, July 13 at the gorgeous Rancho Santa Fe home “Rancho Encantado” (Enchanted Ranch) of Lee and Frank Goldberg. Over 130 dedicated contributors gathered to celebrate their commitment to the charitable mission of Seacrest Village. Guests enjoyed cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and a spectacular view of the Rancho Santa Fe Golf Club from Lee and Frank’s home. Once Patrons were seated for dinner, they were welcomed by hosts Lee and Frank, who reminded us that “it is our responsibility to care for those who came before us and now have nowhere else to turn.” Pam Ferris, President/ CEO and Robert Haimsohn, Chair of Seacrest Village Retirement Communities’ Board of Trustees also thanked everyone in attendance as well as those who could not attend this year’s celebration. Supporters such as Sandy and Earl Altshuler, Linda and Michael Bennett, Barbara Bloom, Jessica and Devin Chodorow, Stephen Cohen and Adele Rabin, Toby and Howard Cohen, Melvin Cohn, Pearl Cutler and Raymond Mason, Norma and Werner Dreifuss, Inge Feinswog, Suzi and Bernie Feldman, Alberta Feurzeig and Harold Laz, Esther Fischer, Carol and Ron Fox, Edward Goldberg, Merrill and Robert Haimsohn, Dr. Jay Kovtun, Martha and Jerry Krasne, Renee Levine, Zita and Morris Liebermensch, Anne Nagorner, Joyce and Jere Oren, Linda and Wayne Otchis, Shirley and Harold Pidgeon, Teddie Lewis Pincus, Jeannie and Arthur Rivkin, William Snyder and Loretta Adams, Susie and Bernie Sosna, Alison and Michael Taylor, Judy and Jack White, Barbara and Morris Winicki, Bebe and Marvin Zigman, Helene and Allan Ziman and many more enjoyed a gourmet dinner catered by Chef Jeffrey Strauss, owner and executive chef of the acclaimed Pamplemousse Grille in Solana Beach. Robin Israel, Vice President of Philanthropy, closed the evening by making the comparison of The 211 Club to a beautiful Chavurah. She spoke of their collective friendships and goodness and reminded them that many in attendance have been at each party for the past 15 years. Israel offered congratulations on their generosity which provided a very successful year but also on the friendships that have been born out of this Club. She remarked that during these past many weeks, as our Jewish community has faced the losses of some very special people, she too was comforted by those in The 211 Club who met by being a part of this special Chavurah. Following dinner, guests indulged in a decadent dessert buffet that included chocolate bread pudding and many other delicious treats. About The 211 Club Members of The 211 Club – an arm of the Milton D. and Madeline L. Goldberg Resident Assistance Fund – are a prestigious group of community leaders who are the cornerstone of a tremendous fundraising effort. Their individual contributions of $1,000 or more annually help to ensure the greatest possible quality of life for the residents of Seacrest Village Retirement Communities. This annual appreciation dinner recognizes patrons for the care and services that are made possible through their generosity. As a non-profit, charitable organization, Seacrest Village Retirement Communities provides housing and healthcare services for the community’s elderly. Offering these services regardless of one’s ability to pay creates an annual shortfall of more than $1.7 million that must be met through fundraising. A 12 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
Top: Lee and Frank Goldberg. Middle: Anne Nagorner, and Allan and Helene Ziman Bottom: Esther Fischer, Ron Israel and Suzi Feldman.
Top row, L-R: Dahlia and Ed Cohen, and Joyce and Dave Abrams • Rabbi Patti Haskell and Earl Altshuler • Howard Bolotin and Sheri Hallis. Bottom row, L-R: Howard and Toby Cohen • Harold and Shirley Pidgeon • Wayne and Linda Otchis.
Rally for Israel
Sunday, July 20 was a very busy day! First, the JCC Membership Appreciation Day event, then a quickly assembled Hillel gathering, and a Rally for Israel! Some seen that day were Paul Swillerts, Yiftach and Jennifer Tayback Levy with kids Hadarya, 7, Yonaton, 5, and Shira, 3, Martin Bunzl, Rabbi Avi Libman, Michael Rabkin, Keri Copans, Aaron Bercovitch, Steven Larky, Ruth Kaplan, Congresswoman Susan Davis, Police Chief Shelley Zimmerman, Congressman Duncan Hunter, Andrew and Erna Vitirbi, Leslie Simon, Jerry Pollock, Ilana Kempinski, Audrey Jacobs, Jerry and Lynn Sampson, Judy Rosenthal, Rachel de Quesada and Mark Greenberg, Marilyn Braun, Toby Hartman, and Jessica Koren with daughters Gabi, 17, Talia, 15, and Cailey, 12.
Top: Suzanne and Paul Aston. Bottom row, L-R: Daniel and Nora Silverstein, and Enrique and Vivian Pupko with daughter • Ann Puckett.
Our Town also recently attended the Gotthelf Art Gallery Kick Off event on Aug. 3 at the beautiful home of Hanna and Mark Gleiberman. We had food, drinks, and a tour of their art collection. Among those enjoying were Rolf Hass and Carol Costarakis, Gary and Jerri-Ann Jacobs, Center For Jewish Culture Board President Seth Krosner, Gerry Levine, Danielle and Brian Miller, Charles and Ilene Mittman, Sandra and Robert Neborsky, Fran and Robert Preisman, Evey and Larry Solomon, Lee Schwimmer, Ruth Warburg, Diane and Elliot Fuerstein, Judy Feinberg, Dawn Gilman, Alan Cohen, and more. Look for information about more Gotthelf Gallery events this year. A
Elul 5774•Tishrei 5775 l SDJewishJournal.com 13
be SEEN BY MIKI LAMM l MIKISDJJ@GMAIL.COM PHOTOS BY EDIZ BENAROYA
Generation Found
On July 27, the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee held the first-ever San Diego Global Symposium titled “A Generation Lost: Young Jewish Leaders from Around the World Beg to Differ” at the North County Jewish Hub. The goal was to begin a dialogue among the young and the old, the religious and the secular, as well as the local and global communities. JDC’s Director of Development and International Partnerships, Gideon Herscher, began with an up-to-the-minute briefing about the evolving situation in Israel and JDC’s response. Following this, an international panel of young professionals, including San Diego’s very own Gabi Scher and Martin Storrow, shared their experiences related to changing Jewish realities. Panelists discussed a variety of topics including volunteerism, community building, culture, and global connections, as well as how they as individuals are taking it to the next level in their respective communities. To learn more about JDC, upcoming events, and ways in which you can become involved, contact Alison Laichter at Alison.Laichter@jdcny.org or visit jdc.org.
Top: Martin Storrow and Rachel Grant. Clockwise from middle: Joe Murphy and Caitlynn Rodarte • Matthew Cooney and Jonathan Goldstone • Alexandra Glassman, Azin Azma, Marni Unger, Seth Rau and Robyn Statman • Laura Galinson and Hannah Fantel-Galinson.
14 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
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the SCENE BY NATALIE JACOBS l EDITOR@SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM PHOTOS COURTESY THE OLD GLOBE
The Old Globe Gala
This year’s Old Globe Gala took place on July 26 with a guest list dressed to the nines. The theme “Summer Splendor” encouraged the more than 380 attendees to sparkle while they supported the theatre’s education and artistic programs. The evening featured a one-night-only performance by Broadway veteran and Tony Award-winner Laura Benanti (who was in Stephen Sondheim’s “Into the Woods” which wrapped on Aug. 17). The program was based on her smash hit cabaret, “In Constant Search of the Right Kind of Attention.” The black-tie event began with a reception in the Globe’s Copley Plaza. Guests were surprised and delighted by a flash mob performance by Culture Shock Dance Troupe, a hip-hop company based here. After the guests posed for pictures and chatted in the courtyard, they filed into the Donald and Darlene Shiley Stage for Benanti’s exclusive performance. From the show, dinner was served back on the Plaza. It was a beautiful spread catered by Sheraton San Diego Hotel and Marina, led by their new Executive Chef Terry Guise. The crowd danced to the music of the 13-piece band Midnight Special after the plates were cleared, and a good time was had by all. It was another beautiful night full of friends and supporters of the Globe. While the organization is still tallying the funds, they estimate that more than $1 million were raised from the all-star evening. Nina Doede, Deni Jacobs and Sheryl White served as Gala co-chairs. Leading underwriters were Audrey Geisel, Darlene Marcos Shiley, Conrad Prebys and Debra Turner, and Sheryl and Harvey White.
Top: Andrew and Erna Viterbi. Clockwise from middle: Robert and Nina Doede, Deni Jacobs, Debra Davis, and Sheryl and Harvey White • Conrad Prebys and Debra Turner, Barry and Hilit Edelstein, Darlene Marcos Shiley, and Michael G. Murphy • Iris Strauss and Irwin and Joan Jacobs.
16 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
לשנה טובה
May You and Your Loved Ones Be Inscribed for a Year Filled with Blessings Celebrate the High Holy Days with caring clergy in a friendly, vibrant community. For more information about Temple Etz Rimon and reserving space in our sanctuary to worship during these High Holy Days, please call (760)929-9503 or email us at info@templeetzrimon.org.
Temple Etz Rimon A Reform Synagogue in the Heart of Coastal North County
URJ
2020 Chestnut Avenue • Carlsbad • 92008 760.929.9503 • templeetzrimon.org Elul 5774•Tishrei 5775 l SDJewishJournal.com 17
parenting
MUSINGS FROM MAMA by Sharon Rosen Leib srleib@roadrunner.com
Deconstructing a Life
W
ith the High Holidays approaching, the annual blessing “May you be inscribed in the book of life” resonates with a different kind of meaning for me this year. As successor trustee of my great-uncle Paul’s estate, I’ve been charged with going through his papers and divining his intent regarding his financial and moral legacy. He left a tangled web in the wake of his 92 years. How would he have wanted us to read his book of life? His story reveals the tumult of nine decades spent in the crucible of the Hollywood film colony. I find myself turning to Jacques Derrida’s trendy philosophy of deconstructionism for guidance in analyzing a life rife with contradictions. The son of a powerful Hollywood film producer, great-uncle Paul was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and reels of silver nitrate film in his home. I found a picture of him as a 14-year-old wearing a tuxedo at an Academy Awards banquet and another of him at age 12 dressed in pseudo-military regalia at the Black-Foxe Military Institute. This elite school, located in Hollywood and co-founded by an actor, combined show biz pageantry with training in weaponry. Yet, my earthy uncle eschewed highsociety and never served in the military. When Paul started working on film locations in his early 20s, he adopted a hard-partying lifestyle. He married too young. The marriage, to a lovely starlet named Shirley, ended after two years because “I spent too much time in Vegas and didn’t make much of a husband” he told me once. He vowed never to marry again. Then he dated a widow named Beverly who had a young son and wanted to marry him, so he broke it off. Next came Barbara who moved in with Paul and helped him get off 18 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
the bottle. When Barbara developed full-blown schizophrenia, Paul took care of her and they became more roommates than lovers. While caring for Barbara, he started dating divorcée Dani, the love of his life. This relationship lasted 30 years. Going through Paul’s papers, I noticed he mentioned all of these women in every version of his trust. His gifts to them lapsed only when they died, or in Dani’s case, when she dumped him and remarried. Nonetheless, he remained close to Dani and visited her often when she became ill and bedridden in her 70s. Sadly, Paul outlived all of his leading ladies. His enduring loyalty to them speaks volumes. He didn’t discard women, or anyone else for that matter. He grew up a lonely “poor little rich boy,” isolated and often left behind in a Bel-Air mansion while his father worked long studio-executive hours and his mother traveled the world. As a result, he never felt too comfortable being part of a family. Stingy with family affection, he almost never told us he loved us. He could be mean. Yet if we needed him, he was there for us. He called often to check in – demonstrating gruff love. Ultimately, he took care of us. At the end of the day, Paul left us with a treasure trove of stories – his most meaningful legacy. As we contemplate the book of life’s meaning this month, I consider my great-uncle a fascinating lesson. How we choose to interpret the challenging, complicated people in our lives brings us either peace or torment. After thinking about it a lot lately, I’m all for practicing positive deconstruction to attain peace of mind. Yes, Paul was complicated and unconventional and tough. His redemption lies in a lifetime of dedication to those he loved. Thus shall I remember him while reciting Yizkor this year. A
Did you know?
To make one pound of honey, bees must visit two million flowers and fly more than 55,000 miles. This one pound equals the life’s work of 768 bees.
Wednesday, September 24th -‐ Friday September 26th
Please join us for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Service at United Jewish Community of Carmel Valley Rosh Hashanah Services will be held at the San Diego Jewish Academy 11860 Carmel Creek Rd, San Diego, CA 92130
Yom Kippur Services will be held at the San Diego MarrioI Del Mar 11966 Camino Real, San Diego, CA 92130
We are a warm, caring modern orthodox community and synagogue in Carmel Valley, San Diego, California. We welcome Jews of all backgrounds to personal exploraOon and growth within Judaism.
For more informaAon and Ackets please visit us at – unitedjewishcommunitycv.com Or call us at (858) 633-‐0181
Friday, October 3rd -‐ Saturday, Oct 4th Elul 5774•Tishrei 5775 l SDJewishJournal.com 19
israeli lifestyle
LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov
andreasimantov@gmail.com
The Show Goes On
O
ne day we were picnicking in the park and the day after, cowering in a bomb shelter. It happened so fast, as does everything in Israel. The sounds of red alerts pierced the summer silence intermittently and we Jerusalemites suddenly became part of the am – the real Israelis from the south and the north and the center who have been dodging Hamas missiles for years. It shames me now to think that I’d felt a sort of exemption, like a member of a higher caste who was protected by virtue of living in the Holy City. None of us were spared from this most recent attempt to impose a final-solution upon the Jews of Israel. Naïve as we tend to be in this neck of the Middle East, we were completely blindsided 20 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
by the broad-brushed criticism from every corner of the world as an avowed and ruthless enemy swore aloud to rid us from the land by either “driving [us] to the sea” or reducing us to ash (preferred). Are any of us unaware that Palestinian children died? Do we not see, hear and feel for the children who are placed in the line of fire in order that they be maimed or killed? The clever enemy has studied and come to understand Jewish compassion, subsequently daring us to save ourselves at the expense of public opinion and world condemnation. Still, we shout! We explain! We protest! We plead! Certainly moral men, logical men will come to our aid and tell the aggressor to back off and build their communities
with the billions-upon-billions of dollars that the West pushed on them, count their blessings and join with us in the pursuit of common, lifeaffirming ends. But few of these aforementioned men exist. Instead, we are censured and mocked when uttering a defense of our defense. There is an irony in that we Israelis know the enemy can see “the whites of his eyes.” Not so the cousins in Chicago or the son in London. Not so my daughter in South Africa who was rhythmically jeered at in her college cafeteria with the phrase, “Baby killer, baby killer!” When I posted on someone’s Facebook page that it was hard remaining stoic with a son in the army, I received a note – signed, no less – stating: “I hope your son dies a terrible death.” After the initial gasp, I scratched my head and wondered what I was missing. Asking myself: “To whom do I wish death? How does it feel to live with such hatred?” My soldier son doesn’t hate. He feels motivated and dedicated and kindhearted and wants to live in peace. He wants his family to have peace. He loves Israel and wants his children to grow up in a country where swords become plowshares and bomb shelters morph into pottery workshops. Sometimes it appears as if those who encourage us to deal Hamas an iron-handed blow and show no mercy are dreaming that the battles fought in the sands of Gaza will miraculously resolve the Islamization of Hendon, Paris and Johannesburg. Only G-d knows the next step and the next playing field(s). What I know is that after the summer of 2014, there is nothing sweeter than sitting in a city park with an ice-pop or sandwich in hand and, in lieu of blasting rocket fire, listening to the wrens chirping and the drone of pedestrians discussing anything and everything mundane. A
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dating
PLAYING WITH MATCHES by Jennifer Garstang jenscy@gmail.com
Six Dating Sins to Add to your Tashlich List
O
ne of my favorite Rosh Hashanah traditions is Tashlich, where a congregation gathers at a body of water to cast away bread crumbs that represent our “sins.” I say sins in quotations because my family doesn’t just include broken mitzvot, but also actions that have held us back from achieving our capital-g Goals (like happiness, fulfillment, etc.). We’ve found that local wildlife is also quite enthusiastic about participating in this ritual, which has led my family to rename the tradition: “Feeding our Sins to the Ducks.” Whatever you call it, it’s a wonderful way to reflect on the areas where we’ve fallen short, and renew our commitment to doing better. So here are six “Dating Sins” that you should feed to the waterfowl this Tashlich. 1. Putting your own expectations onto others: We all experience the world through our own lenses, and people are far more complicated than those lenses would have us believe. To have successful relationships, we must do our best to see past our filters. How? By being vigilant about our own motivations, setting aside our egos, and really listening to our partners. 2. Pursuing perfection: Take a moment and think about what “perfect” is to you. Now, why is that exact scenario or set of traits “perfect?” Most of us believe, at least on some level, that if we could just achieve A, B, and C, or find a date who is X, Y, and Z, then we would be completely, blissfully, happy. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as objective perfection, and trying to force ourselves, others, and our relationships into an artificial box is 22 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
a surefire path to misery. 3. Settling: There’s a difference between not pursuing perfection and giving up on what makes you happy. When you truly feel that you’ve settled, you’re not only being unfair to yourself, but also to the person for whom you’re settling. Odds are, there’s someone out there who’d make you feel like you’ve hit the jackpot...and someone else out there will feel like they’ve hit the jackpot with the person you’re currently seeing. 4. Expecting your partner to complete you: It’s very easy to think that in order to be happy and whole you need to find your “other half.” But a relationship isn’t about two half-people making one whole. It’s about two whole people creating a thriving partnership. 5. Not being your best self: Unfortunately, we often fall short of our potential. Perhaps it’s because we’re afraid of really putting ourselves out there and getting rejected, or perhaps it’s just that the daily grind leaves us worn out and stressed. Whatever the reason, it isn’t good enough! You deserve to be the best you, and others deserve to experience the best you. 6. Beating yourself up (metaphorically) for sinning: There’s a reason we repeat the Tashlich tradition every year: Part of being human is messing up sometimes (or lots of times) and that’s okay. Remember: If you never fail, it means you never try. So forgive yourself for past mistakes, and go forth into the new year secure in the knowledge that you’ll have a few doozies for next year! A
Did you know?
Jewish mysticism teaches that water corresponds to the attribute of kindness. On Rosh Hashanah, we beseech G-d to treat us with kindness during the new year.
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Elul 5774•Tishrei 5775 l SDJewishJournal.com 23
guest column
DROPS OF TORAH by Rabbi Scott Meltzer rabbi@ohrshalom.org
5775 – Let it Rain
H
ere in Southern California, as the New Year rapidly approaches, we find ourselves in a serious drought – literally. Our water storages are at historic lows, but for most of us the drought is about inconvenience – it affects watering our lawns and washing our cars. We read about the drought daily, and yet, every time I walk in the grocery store I find a complete aisle filled with bottled water; and every time I turn on a faucet I expect water to come out (when it doesn’t, I call a plumber rather than bemoan the drought or offer a prayer). This is in contrast to approximately 783 million people around the globe who, according to the World Health Organization, live without an appropriate water source. Our ancestors, also, were not spoiled like we are – no stocked grocery store aisles and no faucets. Their relationship with water was much more straightforward: If it didn’t rain, crops didn’t grow, people died. The availability of seemingly limitless clean water has desensitized us to our dependence on water. The amount of time a person can go without water is measured in days. Water is essential to life. It is why words of our Torah are referred to as water. After listening to the shofar blasts on Rosh Hashanah we will sing “Hayom harat olam,” “Today is the birthday of the world.” No matter what birth story you choose, we begin with water. Ask evolutionary biologists – the earliest life forms begin in water. Our earliest ancestors walked forth from the great oceans. If you look to the Torah, water is also there – from the beginning. Before G-d said “let there be light,” Torah says: “And the spirit of G-d fluttered across the face of the water” (Gen. 1:2). In the 24 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
whole Torah, G-d’s spirit rests upon very few things – a human being (Betzalel), the Mishkan (Tabernacle), and in Genesis 1, water. So if Rosh Hashanah is the day when the world is born, then we must re-enter the water in order to celebrate with, and participate in, the birthday of the world. We have a tradition for the pool in which we swim in these waters of creation – Mikveh Mayyim, a gathering place of water (more commonly referred to as Mikvah). As Rosh Hashanah approaches, go swimming. Find a gathering place of water – the ocean, a mikvah, a swimming pool. Re-enter the primordial elixir from which life sprang and springs. While in the water, hear your heartbeat merge with the ancient heartbeat of creation that can still be heard and felt in the water. Let the gathering place of water be a place in which you can reflect on life up to this moment, and envision the life that will be there for you when you emerge from this primordial womb. Emerge from the water with the birthing of the New Year refreshed. Let the waters of the mikvah help us identify the areas of drought in our lives, and help us to find the spring that will flow to end the drought. Please G-d, may it be a new year of bountiful water – literally for those who lack, and spiritually for us, for the whole House of Israel, and for all who seek You. A Rabbi Scott Meltzer is the Rabbi of Ohr Shalom synagogue. He also teaches in the Department of Religious Studies at SDSU.
Please Note:
California’s drought is serious. Conserve water wherever possible. Review the mandatory water use restrictions at sandiego. gov/water/conservation/ drought/prohibitions.shtml.
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spirituality
THE ARTIST’S TORAH by David Ebenbach ebenbach@netzero.com
Stepping Out of Prose
A
curious thing happens at the end of Deuteronomy. For several Torah portions, Moses has been detailing more laws for the Israelites and, above all, hammering on the importance of following all of G-d’s instructions completely. To motivate his charges, Moses has (at G-d’s behest) described at length all the wonderful things G-d will do for a faithful people – and, at much greater length, all the horrible things G-d will do to an unfaithful people. By the time we reach chapter 32, the point has been made, forcefully and repeatedly. And yet we’re not done. G-d really wants to get this message across, and so G-d chooses a more intense vehicle than we usually see in the Torah. Instead of prose, we shift to poetry. This is a noticeable shift, even visually: instead of being in the usual single column, the text of this poem is in two columns, offering us a sense of line breaks like what we see in most poetry today. The text is also in classic Biblical poetry style. Robert Alter goes into this subject in great depth in his excellent book “The Art of Biblical Poetry,” but the basic ideas are easy enough to grasp. First of all, Biblical poetry uses parallelism. In other words, it says something and then immediately says something very similar right afterward. For example, the poem begins: Give ear, you heavens, and I will speak./And let the earth hear the words of my mouth (32:1). Two consecutive lines about asking the natural world to listen. But usually the parallelism is accompanied by intensification, so that the repetition is a stronger version of the original: Remember the days of old,/consider the years of many generations (32:7). From days to years; from of old to a grander statement about 26 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
generations. Or: He found him in a desert land,/ and in the waste, a howling emptiness (32:10). Here we escalate from a desert to a howling emptiness. The point is this: the Torah turns from prose to poetry because we need more intensity, and poetry is ideal for delivering it. The same goes for all art forms. Think of the way a painting can give power to, say, a landscape, that we might not notice if we were just looking at it through a window. Or the way that filmmakers use camerawork and music to reinforce the emotion of a scene. Art of all kinds demands a heightened attention and helps us to focus that attention. This is one of the reasons that it’s worth turning to art, whether creating it or just taking it in: it helps us to engage seriously with the world. Art, as our ancestors recognized, is there to direct us toward what matters most. Art isn’t the only way, of course – as we approach the High Holidays, we’ll do a lot of other things to focus ourselves – we’ll pray, eat special foods on some days, fast on others, immerse in water, listen to divrei Torah, and so on. Though art plays a role here, too – the music and poetry of our liturgy, for starters. The larger point is that there are times when we need to bring our sharpest, deepest attention, and we do whatever we can to produce it. Now, we can’t live high-intensity lives every minute – we’d lose our minds, and in any case sometimes we just need to put our heads down and get ordinary things done – but neither can we go through life entirely in plain prose. Luckily, as the Torah itself shows us, we don’t have to. A
This
month’s Torah portions Sept. 6: Ki Tetze (Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19) Sept. 13: Ki Tavo (Deuteronomy 26:1-29:8) Sept. 20: Nitzavim/ Vayelech (Deuteronomy 29:9-31:30) Sept. 27: Ha’azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-32:52)
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israel
Amidst sirens, one San Diegan begins her life as an Israeli citizen By Natalie Jacobs
Talya Herring cares for patients at Aleh Negev as part of her national service.
A
bout seven miles from the Gaza border lives a special needs community called Aleh Negev. This “rehabilitation village” is on a sprawling 25 acres and was made to provide an exceptional level of care for severely disabled adults and children. When warning sirens become a part of the daily soundtrack, caring for these citizens means sleeping two staff members to a room and rushing wheelchaired patients to the bomb shelter. One of the volunteers who worked to do this as quickly and effectively as possible is a young woman from San Diego. Talya Herring graduated from Mt. Carmel High School in 2012. Prior to that, she attended Chabad Hebrew Academy and spent summers at Camp Ramah. Her parents, who both lived on kibbutzim in their day, instilled in her a strong love of Israel. “I grew up thinking it would be cool to live in a Jewish place,” Herring says over the phone from Israel. “I’m a Jew, I live in suburbia. My neighbors are Muslim and Christian and Mormon and I’m a Jew, so why not live in a Jewish place? But it was a distant thought.” With that in the back of her mind, she became 28 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
more involved in Jewish organizations in San Diego while exploring the depths of her personal connection to Zionism. During that time, she thought a lot about how she as a Jew can support Israel from the diaspora while learning that she identified strongly as a religious Zionist. So when she graduated high school, Herring joined a seminary program through which she spent a year in Jerusalem, studying religion and the history of Israel from the homeland. After the program ended, Herring came back to San Diego for a summer, but had plans to return to Israel immediately, as a citizen. “My parents visited me in November and I had already made up my mind that I was going to make aliyah but I didn’t want to tell them. ... My mom came right up to me and she said ‘so, after this program, are you planning on staying here?’ and I was like ‘yep!’” But the conversation didn’t stop there. Herring and her parents proceeded to have long discussions about the decision, even though ultimately Herring had already made up her mind. “For me,” she says, “I’m so thankful for the interrogation because it made me really sure of
my decision and it made me really confident that this is the right thing for me.” She is at Aleh Negev now as a member of the national service (a way for religious girls to serve the country without joining the army). In a place where tension is palpable and an understanding of pain and suffering is inescapable, Herring emphasizes that life also continues. Her job during the rocket barrages was to make sure that the disabled adults and children she serves in the medical wing are kept in good spirits, not unnecessarily stressed by the threats around them. “If we go into the bomb shelter, we start singing. We’re doing a lot of activities and we’re making sure that [the residents] are doing their normal thing.” When we speak in the middle of the July during Operation Protective Edge, Herring notes that keeping the residents unaware of the dangers requires a grown-up level of commitment from herself and her fellow young volunteers. “For me, it’s scary as in it’s a lot of responsibility to make sure that someone else is safe. It’s also hard. What if there is not enough room in the bomb shelter? That means that I’m watching a
PHOTOS COURTESY TALYA HERRING
I
WORKING NEAR GAZA
person that I connect with so much, sit outside. It’s terrifying. We try not to let that happen. We work our hardest not to let that happen but it’s such a scary situation to know that I’m their mother figure. Because of this, it helps me understand when my mother’s worrying about me.” Making aliyah to fulfill a Zionist duty is hard enough when it requires being so far away from home, but adding a war into the mix makes the commitment even more trying. Herring isn’t phased though. She understands that there is pain and suffering throughout the world and feels that what’s important is being connected to a community. “I look at Israel and the security of going to a mall and there’s a security guard there. And you go on a bus and there’re soldiers there. You’re with your nation, you’re with your peoplehood and you’re with a group of people that are also going through it with you.” Being in Israel at this time also brings up some
conflicts with the world outside of Israel. From her post near Gaza, Herring has a unique view of the situation, whereas her family and friends back in San Diego are stuck with what the mainstream news and their Facebook newsfeeds show them. “The hardest part is being strong on the phone talking to my parents and explaining the situation to them. What I’m reading on Facebook from some of my San Diego friends that are pro-Palestine, how people are really blowing up the humanitarian issue into a very political issue. People are suffering and it’s not like people are talking about it to talk about the people suffering, it’s like ‘how can I exploit this to get my message across?’” Jews in and out of Israel struggle to combat misinformation on social networks, often inciting lots of comments but little understanding on either side. For Herring’s part, she has a blog with the Times of Israel where she is free to express her opinions and feelings of Zionist love. She typically doesn’t get involved in social media
conversations, unless it’s a particularly horrible offense. “I did [comment on a Facebook post] one time,” she says. “A girl I went to high school with, she posted a rant that Zionists own all the media and they own all the products and they’re controlling everything and she’s surprised when a Zionist walks down the street without killing small children in self defense. “I wrote that I appreciate her opinion and I appreciate her standing up for her peoplehood but it’s a little hurtful to hear. It’s anti-Semitism. You can stand up for your people without smashing other people.” Herring will continue working with Aleh Negev through the end of the year. Then she will move onto her second year of national service as a tour guide in an Israeli school. After that, she’ll attend college in Israel, though she isn’t sure what she’ll study. You can follow her blog at timesofisrael.com/author/talya-herring. A Elul 5774•Tishrei 5775 l SDJewishJournal.com 29
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We pray for the blessings of good health and renewed spirit as we reflect on the past year and contemplate the next. May the Holy One bless you and those you love in the coming year.
Ketivah v’chatima tovah .
May you have a good inscription and be sealed in the Book of Life. Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal
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SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP
FROM DUES TO DONATIONS Tifereth Israel takes a radical step forward
Inside the Tifereth Israel sanctuary.
T
ifereth Israel Synagogue, a Conservative About a year ago, Tifereth Israel began to dues. congregation located in San Carlos, is look seriously at other ways of balancing its “It is stressful for all involved because paving a novel path to the future – one books. After losing a portion of its congregants the prospective member is made to feel free of membership fees. On July 1 the synagogue to dissatisfaction with the old financing system uncomfortable,” Hermes says. “It is stressful to eliminated its mandatory fixed-dues system, and failing to attract a substantial amount of new the members of the secret committee because opting instead to allow congregants to contribute congregants for the same reason, the executive they have to wrestle with these decisions. All in what they wish in support of the synagogue. committee wanted to find a way to make its all, it is a distasteful and uncomfortable process As you are likely aware, synagogues typically synagogue more inviting. from beginning to end.” finance their operations through a membership “Our former executive director was constantly As discussions proceeded, Tifereth Israel model whereby everyone is expected to contribute complaining about the stress that the entire decided to organize a task force that consisted the same amount each year. process [of collecting membership] put on her of a “broad cross-section of board members, “In California,” explains Jerry Hermes, and her staff,” Hermes says. “So we were looking, non-board members and professional staff ” to executive committee president for Tifereth Israel, up until a year ago, not real hard, but we were investigate how the synagogue might solve its “everybody uses this fixed-dues model, which looking for some other way of doing this and in fixed-dues problem. An awakening occurred came into being a hundred years ago or so.” the absence of something better, you stick with amongst task-force members when they realized With this traditional model, a synagogue first what you got. Then we found something better.” that the old system was outmoded and the new determines the cost of its operations, and then With every fixed-dues system comes a dues system had to be made “relevant to the people fixes membership dues based on needed income adjustment committee for members who are of today.” The group began looking to other to keep the congregation’s doors open. unable to meet the financial burden of formal synagogues around the country for alternative “I’m calling [our new model of financing] membership. The committee consists of a models. radical or revolutionary because nobody out here confidential group of synagogue members who is doing L-R: it,” Hermes says. reviewFaulconer, applications for reduced Bolton, membership (continued on pg. 34) Katherine and Mayor Kevin Michael Doreen and Dr. Myron Schonbrun.
32 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
PHOTOS COURTESY TIFERETH ISRAEL
BY AMANDA KELLY
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Outside Tifereth Israel.
A financial expert from Tifereth Israel’s umbrella organization, the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, brought to its attention something new that was happening in several synagogues on the east coast. “We didn’t reinvent the wheel,” Hermes explains. Tifereth Israel’s task force found that a handful of congregations along the eastern seaboard have innovative financial models that they could use as a model to craft their own new way forward. The most well known is Temple Israel, a Conservative congregation in the Boston suburb of Sharon, Mass. Since overhauling its financial model and replacing it with a voluntary offering system four years ago, Temple Israel has witnessed both a growth in income and an increase in new membership. “We used their success as a template for what we were going to do. We adapted it to our own needs,” Hermes says. Several months after first beginning the exploration process, Tifereth Israel’s board of directors voted to adopt the new system. The new model is aptly named T’rumah, a reference to Exodus 25:1 to 27:19 which explains how the Israelites financed their temple after wandering the Sinai desert. Hermes describes the biblical reference as the primary source of inspiration for the new offering system. 34 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2014
“Everyone gave from their heart what they could give and no one was looked down upon because they gave less than their neighbor. “We look at all our members as donors now. We want them to be as generous as they possibly can,” Hermes says. “[Members] come up with one number and keep it simple.” In making the system voluntary, the hope is to inspire feelings of positivity toward the institution. Donations from members will sustain programs that were once funded by mandatory dues. Administrators like Hermes have strong faith that this new system will “bring out the best in their congregants rather than the worst,” and in removing the obligation, some members will actually donate more than what they gave last year. Programs that require member support include the after-school Torah program that meets on Wednesdays and Sundays. Membership donations also sustain the entire financial overhead of the organization which include such things as salary, payroll and social programs. “We are empowering our members to decide how much it is worth to them to sustain Tifereth Israel to keep its doors open and be there to serve them,” Hermes says. One very notable change within the body of the new system, besides the revolutionary elimination of the fixed “set-by-the-board dues,”
is the removal of the “ubiquitous” High Holiday appeal. In place of the traditional High Holiday appeal, Tifereth Israel will ask its congregants to “roll their High Holiday offerings into their T’rumah offerings and [congregants] will not have to make a separate pledge.” This is the first time in the synagogue’s 109year history that there will be no High Holiday appeal. Tifereth Israel chose to take this step so that the holiday itself can be a focus on prayer and repentance without the worry of charity. In acting as a vanguard of synagogue finance renovation, Tifereth Israel hopes to ultimately attract new members and create a less stressful, more pleasurable experience for its congregation. The general reaction by members has, so far, been quite favorable to the new model. Hermes notes that one-third of the congregation has already responded to the donation forms mailed out in May. Hermes hopes that other synagogues will call on Tifereth Israel, like they did on Temple Israel in Massachusetts, for advice on how to escape from the traditional fixed-dues system. “We will never turn away any Jew who wants to be a member of our congregation over money matters, period. We hope that taking this burden off of people will foster a greater spirit of community and family.” For more information about the synagogue, visit tiferethisrael.com. A
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