Mayhem! Magazine - Issue 12 (November 2012)

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ISSUE 12

THE #1 FREE

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

Daniel

Craig Bond is Back!

A catch up with…

Jason Byrne

WIN DINNER FO R COURTESY

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GI RA FFFE

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GUNWHAR

F

PENNY FOR THE GUY ?

Story time with…

Robert Webb!

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M

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I’M

One to one with…

SEPTEMBER 2011 || SHOTGUN CELEBS | SPORTS | MUSIC | FILM | BEAUTY | FASHION | CULTURE | FOOD HUMOUR

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Simply email us with the word ‘GIRAFFE’ to WIN SUBMIT YOURS BY 30TH NOVEMBER TO: WIN@MAYHEMMAGAZINE.CO.UK WITH ‘GIRAFFE’ AS THE SUBJECT. WE’LL ANNOUNCE THE WINNING ENTRY BY DECEMBER 10TH. MAKE SURE YOU GIVE US YOUR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER SO WE CAN CONTACT THE WINNERS. 4

MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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WORD FROM THE TOP!

Founder/Director Daniel Tidbury Editor Mia Habens Studio Manager Felicity Patrick Graphic Design Tidbury Media Staff Writers Edward Couzens-Lake Chris Morley Contributing Writers Tori Harris Emma Murphy Henrietta Odey-Sole Emma Reid Rosie Saban Kelly Wickham Heidi Bridges Chris Walsh Chris Donnelly Jennifer Le Roux Robyn Montague Sean Kennedy Claire Lincoln Felicity Patrick Nightlife Paparazzi Mick Wythe Matt Byne Sales/Marketing Jake Catterall Jennifer Le Roux Distribution Jamie Pay Jamie Matthews Online Editor Jennifer Le Roux Publisher Tidbury Media

023 9229 4408 hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk The Clock Tower, 44 Castle Rd, PO5 3DE www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk Mayhem! is a free lifestyle magazine dedicated to keeping you up to date with the latest trends, fashions and interviews. Our monthly instalments are available to pick up from the countless distribution points scattered across the city and surrounding areas at the beginning of each month. © Copyright 2012 All rights reserved Tidbury Media

EDITOR’S

LETTER Welcome to another year of Mayhem!

The last issue was our first birthday, but we don’t want to change pace now. I know it’s easy to do because the clocks have gone back and the nights are drawing in, but it’s officially entering into party season and we want to get our freak on! So, we’ve squeezed in every last morsel of literary gunpowder – ready to blow your mind! In respect to the season, we’re celebrating everything ‘November’ – from Children in Need, to the age-old tradition of growing the biggest and most ridiculous moustache possible! We’re checking out the latest winter styles from Debenhams and even doing a bit of history, by finding out what fireworks night is all about and how to combat your fear of the big bangs! For your entertainment, we’ve caught up with Daniel Craig to talk about this year’s most anticipated film release ‘Skyfall’, plus we have a one to one with singing sensation Ellie Goulding. And just for fun we’ve had a good giggle chatting with funny man Jason Byrne and the star of ‘Peep Show’ Robert Webb about the long awaited new series. So don’t be grumpy about it being dark and dingy – get yourself tucked up with Mayhem! TTFN!

Mia Habens | Editor @MAYHEMMAG

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

THE MAYHEM MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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WHAT’S INSIDE?

l a i c e p S l l a Skyf

08 DIY Ombré Hair

30 Working from home

58 Tattoos through time

10 Bond is back!

32 Touch wood!

60 Rumour has it!

14 Must have gadgets

34 Sausage week

62 Get your skates on

16

To hell and back

36 Fallen heroes

64 Caught in a Webb

18

Lights, camera, action

38 One to one with… Ellie Goulding

66 World Diabetes Day

42 Bonjour monsieur

70 Look into my eyes!

20 The Vessel 22 Movember mad! 24 Life stories… 26 Stress awareness 28 Things NOT to say…

68 Do you believe?

44 Dig deep 46 Holiday with a difference 48 Paper Aeroplanes

72 Penny for the guy? 78 Johnny Starboard 80 Catch up with Jason Byrne

LOOK OUT FOR YOUR MATES AT WITH OUR MAYHEM! MOMENTS... ON PAGES 74-77

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MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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page 64

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KEEP UP TO DATE!

The

BIG Question: In honour of Bond’s 50th birthday, we asked you to reveal who your favourite 007 is and why? Here’s what some of you had to say:

xtra

Tim Hoolahan: “Sean Connery was always my favourite. The two latest have definitely been the ‘coolest’ as such, but he was a lot more smooth.” Voodoo Junky: “Roger Moore, Live and Let Die Best movie for me, :)”

Here’s what you’ve been tweeting, facebooking and chatting to us about online. Keep them coming!

Mayhem! Ten Ticket giveaway! This month we are giving away ten pairs of tickets for concerts at The

Southampton Guildhall from November to March 2013! Including Rizzle Kicks, Ben Howard, Gary Numan, Band of Skulls, Ellie Goulding, Two Door Cinema Club,

3

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urself holding Post a pic of yo gazine Ma ! em yh Ma ok page at on our Facebo k.com/ www. faceboo gazine themayhemma

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YOU WIN

Share it on your wall!

There are loads of ways to join the lively Mayhem! network. Let us know what you’re thinking. Email us: hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk Find us on Facebook at: /themayhemmagazine Follow and Tweet us: @mayhemmag Write to us: The Clock Tower, Southsea, Hampshire PO5 3DE

Checkout our online archive! www.issuu.com/mayhemmagazine

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Vicky Stabler: “Roger Moore was always my favourite as he was always smooth, charming and had many good cheesy one liners. Nowadays Daniel Craig is much more believable as a Bond…’ Jake Catterall: “George Lazenby – well, someone’s got to like him, right?” Dan Jackson: “Pierce will always define the cheesiest Bond era... watching it back now I’m not sure if it makes me cringe or laugh more!”

What

YOU

are tweeting:

@moonklash: “Had a sort out earlier and found the first issue of @mayhemmag. Has it really been a year?” We want to hear from you, so get tweeting this month and you could see yours here in December! NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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WRITTEN BY TORI HARRIS

TO DYE OR NOT TO DYE?

TOP TIPS! 1) When using home dye kits always cover the floor with old towels!

2) Wrap an old towel round your shoulders to avoid getting dye on your skin or clothes. For little over a season now the trend has been Ombrè hair. What started out as growing out blonde hair, letting darker roots show through has even those of us with no blonde in our hair reaching for the bleach. Leona Lewis, Rachel Bilson, Sophia Bush, Lea Michele, Shenae Grimes, Leighton Meester…The list is endless! There are so many variations on how to wear it, depending a lot on the colour of your natural hair – or at least the colour it is at the moment! The great thing about this trend is it works with any colour – however you want to wear it! This trend is easier then it might look to recreate at home and there are a couple of options when it comes to what product to use. Firstly, L’Oreal have released a fantastic kit called Wild Ombres which is the lightening colour for the ends of your hair and available in three different shades depending on the colour of your hair when you start. Alternatively you can use a highlighting kit such as Jerome Russel Bblonde to lighten the ends. 8

MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

1) Starting with the highlighting kit, split your hair into two bunches and pull it round to the front over your shoulders. Using the comb provided in the kit apply the dye to the very ends of your hair – no more then an inch up. 2) Leave this for 10 minutes before taking the comb and dye again and apply another inch up – blending into the already dyed section. 3) After a further 10minutes repeat the process until you are happy with where the lighter dye starts. Take a little bit of the highlighting dye and create a few streaks through your hair to break up the two colours a little – you don’t want to be left with an obvious line! Try to get both sides fairly even although a little difference will look natural you don’t want one side with a lot more blonde then the other. The great thing about this trend is you want the blonde to go a little orange to give a fiery tone as it blends through so really you can’t go wrong!

3) Follow the instructions – don’t leave the dye on too long or you may end up with a different colour to what you expected! 4) Be realistic – if you have black hair one coat of bleach isn’t going to take it platinum blonde. 5) If you’re not sure how to get a fairly even line try loosely tying your hair into a pony leaving the band where you want the blonde to stop and add the dye up to this point.

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007 SKYFALL SPECIAL!

James Bond ‘agent 007’ turns 50 this year, and celebrates five decades as British intelligence’s number one lethal weapon – a debonair agent with a licence to kill. And he’s holding up remarkably well, don’t you think?

IS BACK

INTERVIEW BY THE INTERVIEW HUB

Daniel Craig’s latest instalment, Skyfall, holds special significance for fans of 007 as, for the first time, we delve into the murky world of Bond’s dark past, his relationship with his family, and how it moulded him into the man he is today. It’s interesting then to learn then that the 44-year-old actor, widely lauded as the best Bond since Sean Connery, nearly turned down the chance to portray the iconic spy.

10 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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007 SKYFALL SPECIAL! “I think I was just a little bewildered that they would even come to me,” Craig explains. “It wasn’t even on my radar. And I suppose I was concerned about being typecast.” “But you know, when you weigh it up, it’s not a bad thing to be typecast as James Bond! Is it, really? I’m incredibly proud and lucky to be in the position I’m in here. Especially to have made this film, and to be around when it celebrates it’s half century – that’s very special.” Reports long suggested that this would be Craig’s last outing as 007. What made him change his mind? “Money,” he snorts cheerfully, in uncharacteristically playful humour. “Yeah, I’m doing Bond 24 for sure, 25 is still up in the air but that’s looking hopeful. Look, I have a great time with these movies; I’m not in any rush to shirk off the responsibility. For as long as people want to see me as Bond, I’ll happily oblige.” Craig’s third outing as the iconic spy sees him face the mysteries of his

dark past while M, played once again with great majesty by Dame Judi Dench, watches on as murky dealings come back to haunt her. Directed by Sam Mendes, who assembled a stellar cast with 28 Days Later star Naomie Harris and sultry newcomer Berenice Marlohe providing the necessary eye candy, the Oscar winner landed a coup when casting Javier Bardem as Bond’s deadly adversary, Silva. And diehards may be slightly surprised to see a homoerotic subtext in 007’s relationship with Silva. “I don’t see the world in sexual divisions, and nor does Bond,” Craig tells. “It’s not the way I look at the world. There’s a new twist, but it was a great flirt with Javier. It’s a game of cards. And a way to have your pleasure. And what’s great about Javier, is that he plays it for real. You know, he plays it to the limit. And I love that scene. It makes me laugh. I hope it makes the audience laugh too.”

The stunts in Skyfall are some of the most daring yet, and while Craig feels they’re getting easier with experience, it’s seems to be the constant running that frustrates him most. “I had to do a lot of running in this movie – which I hate! So I did a lot of sprinting and running because Bond doesn’t usually walk through a room. And I wish I could change that. I wish he would come more gracefully through a room!” “I end up doing a day’s filming, which on paper may look easy, but it reads like, ‘Bond doesn’t have any dialogue. It goes from A to B. And then he goes from B to C. But he goes from A to B at a lick.” “You know, he runs down the stairs, and then he runs up the stairs. And we had to do 10 takes at a time. So by the end of it, I’m kind of, how shall I say, ‘I just can’t take it!’” With Bond’s upbringing finally investigated in the latest movie, did Craig – who’s married to actress Rachel Weisz – find this a novelty? “Nobody told me that we couldn’t make an action film with a good story and I’m delighted we’ve gone down this road.” “At the end of the day, Bond’s a killer, you know? He kills for a living. It’s really a kind of a dark place he goes to. So some dark stuff must have happened in his life in order for him to be able to do that.” Right now, nobody knows the spy better than Daniel himself. What are his thoughts on Bond’s life off screen? “Maybe about family, possibly children. Then again, everyone he loves has been killed so maybe that says he’s a lone wolf off screen, who knows? Maybe we’ll find out more about that further down the line – it’s the story that never ends, after all...”

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

11

HEADER 007 SKYFALL SPECIAL!

There really is nothing like a Dame, especially one Dame Judi Dench. The Oscar winner talks career, self-importance and her ‘bond’ with Bond.

PLAYING THE DAME INTERVIEW BY THE INTERVIEW HUB

12 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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007 SKYFALL SPECIAL! HEADER

Dame Judi Dench has been a doyenne of the British stage for nearly four decades, a stalwart of the Old Vic Company, earning adulation and praise for portrayals of Ophelia, Juliet and Lady Macbeth. The National Theatre Company, the Old Shakespearean Company... she was, and remains, the first lady of them all while sporadically punctuating her career with BAFTA-winning performances in A Room With a View and 84 Charing Cross Road. It’s funny then that before 1995’s Goldeneye – her first appearance as head of MI6 – and despairingly, even after, Dench still gets asked, ‘Have you done anything else other than M?’ “Well that’s Bond for you,” she smiles broadly. “Bond has universal appeal. Everyone and their grandmother goes to see these films, twice. Why on earth would I expect some young fellow to be aware of my body of work, most of it on stage? It’s normal really.” For a record seven-time Olivier Award winner, isn’t it somewhat insulting? “I can’t be insulted? Am I that self- important a human being? No chance!” With Skyfall – Dench’s seventh outing in a Bond movie – there have been rumours that this will be her last appearance as M. In the trailer, she identifies her successor, a shady Ralph Fiennes, before saying a brutal goodbye to Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Expectedly, she’s too practised a Bond girl to give any of this away before the closely guarded opening night, though. “You’ll just have to watch the film, it will be in cinemas shortly. Can’t you wait till then?!”

Regardless of her fate, M will always remain a shining beacon in the Dench legacy. “It’s a true honour and privilege, really,” she says of the role that was made famous by the late Bernard Lee. “You can sense that some people just feel very, very precious about Bond, and all those around him, so you want to keep those diehard fans happy. But you also want to bring something of your own to the table, and the simple fact that I’m a woman has helped, I think, move the Bond franchise forward a little.” And the good lady was only too thrilled to be working alongside her good friend, Daniel Craig. “We have a lovely bond, a nice working relationship,” Dench tells, fondly. “There’s always so much upheaval, so much going on when it comes to a Bond movie, but to have Daniel there is a constant I really admire. And that’s rare as an actor. You often spend so much time building a bond with someone, then it’s all over. It’s broken and then comes the time to make new friends, which is wonderful but can also be somewhat disorientating.” “But Daniel and I are very good pals at this point; we’ve been through a lot. Mind you, he failed to mention to me about his little Olympic Ceremony stunt with the Queen; he kept that to himself!” After a frantic global criss-cross for Skyfall, taking in Shanghai, Istanbul and the Scottish Highlands, the 77-year-old Oscar winner – famously awarded for a 12-minute appearance

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as Queen Elizabeth in John Madden’s Shakespeare in Love – is temporarily based out in the Swedish fjords for film Italian Shoes with close confidante Sir Anthony Hopkins, before a three-month shoot in Louisiana for Geoff Moore and David Posamentier’s debut feature, Better Living Through Chemistry. Does the Dame believe she’ll take her foot of the accelerator anytime soon? “As long as there is a possibility of working, I’m not going to retire. I’m very conscious that I’m in the minority in that I love what I do. How big is the number of people who are running to work to do a job that they like? And how lucky to be employed at it – how incredibly lucky.” Duly frank and honest, Dench – living with daughter Finty, and teenage grandson Sam in the Surrey countryside since her husband, renowned actor Michael Williams passed away from lung cancer in 2001 – saw her open nature burned by a rather sensationalised account of an ocular disorder she currently suffers from, called macular degeneration. Here, she admitted failing sight was resulting in scripts being read to her. “Oh yes, that was rather overblown. This condition is something that thousands and thousands of people all over the world have to contend with and it’s something I have learned to cope with and adapt to — and it will not lead to blindness. The press had me with dark glasses and white cane by the end of the week, but I’m okay, and nothing will stop me from doing what I love.” NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

13

GET THESE IN YOUR LIFE!

REVIEW

KINDLE FIRE Okay, so we’ve all heard of the Kindle, but Amazon have introduced their new Kindle Fire. Not only does this version have a vibrant colour touchscreen, but it’s also lighter, thinner and more durable…excellent!

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TRUM STAND New meets old in the Trumstand for the iPhone… resembling something between an Oscar and a bent saxophone, it’s the perfect answer to your music needs. www.firebox.com

LEGO JABBA’S PALACE Stars Fans rejoice as Jabba the Hutt now has his own LEGO Palace which is so over the top with great details, it’s a must buy for any LEGO or Star Wars fan. www.lego.com

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SWIFTY ONE SCOOTER This is simply one of the best adult kick scooters in the world and the best gift for any urban trend setter. It’s British-steel frame is not only shock absorbent, but also folds down to the size of a collapsible bike. You can also customise your scooters colours… what more could you ask for? www.swiftyscooters.com

14 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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GET THESE IN YOUR LIFE!

PH ILIPS SB7200 SHOQBOX of a Bear

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BLACKTOP 360 GRILL The Blacktop 360 Party Grill-Fryer is not your typical grill. This is a party machine! Made with a deep flyer, infrared grill, griddle and integrated warming plate this is the ultimate portable grill! www.leisureoutlet.com

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Stood at the airport carousel waiting for your luggage, knackered and depressed about being back home, only to watch and wonder which black case is yours as one after another goes by. Well wonder no more…these beauties will stand out from the crowd and impress others as you heave it from the airport merry-go-round! www.luggagehut.co.uk

NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

15

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

r th e Are you re ady fo ‘ Brooks run of your life? ce ra He llRunn er’ is a omis ing like no ot he r; pr e soul an d punishmen t of th e min d. re dempt ion of th n’ s mos t It ’s on e of Brit ai ay hem !’ popu lar ra ce s; ‘M grue lling sport…

HELL & BACK!

TO

WRITTEN BY EMMA MURPHY

WHAT IS IT?

It’s 10–12 miles of ultra-challenging but crazy-fun, off-road running. The route goes through all-natural terrain; over the Hills of Hell and the Bog of Doom, where the devil awaits. Plus there are no distance markers, so you’ll never know exactly what’s around the next corner or how far you have left to endure.

HOW DID IT START? The event began in 2004; started by ex-competitive runner, Paul Magner of Trail Plus, a company that puts on unique challenge events for individuals and groups. This year it’s set to be the biggest yet with over 4,000 victims…sorry, competitors, in Hell Down South alone. 16 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

CAN I GET INVOLVED? Yes, as a matter of fact, Hell Down South takes places in Longmoor Camp, Hampshire on the weekend of 10th–11th November. The Saturday race is already sold out but supporters are still welcome. There are two race times on the Sunday; 10.30 and 11.02, following a two-minute silence for Remembrance Sunday. Each finishing competitor will receive a goody bag including a souvenir Brooks Hell Runner T-shirt and a survivor’s medal. There are also prizes available for the fastest three men and three women.

There’s a ‘Little Devil’s Fun Run’ at 10am each day which is open to all ages. Entries for this will be taken up until 9.45am and it’s approximately 1.5 miles in length.

WHAT DO I WEAR? The general advice is to wear old sports clothes that you don’t mind getting a little (or a lot) muddy. Also bring a full change of warm, dry clothing because you won’t want to wear you race gear home! Checkout www.hellrunner.co.uk!

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023 9237 6653 7906@GREENEKING.CO.UK

FB:WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/ THEPORTSBRIDGECOSHAM

line at: or go on Come in s.co.uk/ ub www.gkp rtsmouth/ po in pubsind-pub h g.co.uk n e gold greenkin @ 2 9 7 7 : or email facebook too! n See us o

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WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

TAKE 2!

With the nights drawing in, now is a perfect time to snuggle on the sofa with a DVD, right ? It ’s a good choice, but a bit dull when you could be turning the camera on yourself or some friends. feed your creative muse by So, ‘quiet on set ’ as our resident director takes you through a movie masterclass!

MAN WITH A MOVIE CAMERA You could, of course, just wander the wintry streets pointing your camera at whatever takes your fancy, leaving the viewer to ponder whether what you’ve shot is artistically significant or questioning the wisdom of letting you loose on film after a few warming pints. Just such a debate rages when you get one or more real buffs debating the relative merits of Soviet montage cinema – Dziga Vertov’s Man With A Movie Camera (1929) is an experimental documentary aiming to show the viewer what ordinary life is like in, what was then, the Soviet Union, while making use of a, then novel piece of camera trickery, multiple exposure. The effect is achieved by opening your camera shutter more than once during filming, achieving multiple images which can then be imposed on to each other to create almost any kind of visual aesthetic. After all, who said factual can’t be fun?

A SHORT INTERMISSION The beauty of narrative cinema is that it can be about absolutely anything you can imagine, and shouldn’t need to rely on flashy special effects. Consider the impact of the Lumière brothers following the first screenings of their early films, having perfected the work started by Leon Bouly, inventor of the cinematograph.

Georges Melies was another master all-rounder of the early years of cinema as we know it – a former stage magician, he turned to directing after attending a screening by the Lumieres and went on to make 531 short films between 1896 and 1913.

Its premise was simple – a device which could record, develop, and project film, and they seized upon the possibilities it opened up, developing several shorts. Their most famous piece of cinema is most likely Train Pulling Into A Station (1895), which presented a train pulling into La Ciotat (a French coastal town). Not the most riveting of subjects, you could argue. But some viewers at its first public screening the following year were terrified, fearing that the train could actually be coming at them, fleeing the venue before they could be mown down.

His most famous work is Voyage To The Moon (1902), which utilises much of what he learned in his time on stage as well as intricate hand-coloured frames. His legacy is explored (with heavy artistic licence) in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo, or if you’re a Smashing Pumpkins fan, watch their video for ‘Tonight, Tonight’ – from Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness – his style could inspire you to combine other visual arts and film-making should you be that way inclined. There’s a whole multitude of special effects to play with if you have the time and/or patience!

INDEPENDENT STUDY Whatever you choose to work with cinematically, why not also take some time out to sit back and watch what you maybe normally wouldn’t? Portsmouth’s own No.6 Cinema (in the Historic Dockyard) hosts many screenings that Vue at Gunwharf Quays wouldn’t touch. 18 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

Or if you want to show off your own handiwork, check out the Portsmouth DV Mission 48-hour challenge. It’s been described as ‘lights, camera, rock and roll’ or ‘the Sex Pistols meets the Oscars’ – for more see www.dvmission.ning.com. That ’s a wrap! To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

ADVERTORIAL

me dy A n ew Brit is h co coming a s eries about be ur surrog at e for yo . g ay bes t frien ds Fyrian Films has just launched their first project – the first british gay web series and winner of Raindance’s Best Web Pilot Competition. The Vessel features a young, talented British cast: Phillip Whiteman (InkHeart), Lily Brown (The Friday Night Project) and Giovanni Bienne, with guest star appearances from Robin Soans (The Queen) and Louise Jameson (Dr. Who) as well as award winning stand up comedian Shazia Mirza.

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THE SYNOPSIS Rory and Mike want to have a baby together, so this is where their best friend Kim comes in. Over ten episodes and nine months, we follow Kim as she helps this unconventional family bring a new life into the world. But with boyfriends, exes and conservative grandparents on the scene plus some fiery pregnancy hormones – will Kim come to regret her decision? Is she really ready to give up her body, career, love-life, tennis lessons and, ofcourse, the baby…? 20 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

The series embraces the topical subject matter of same sex parenting and surrogacy and is filmed Peep Show style from Kim’s point of view. To maintain this sense of reality every episode is shot as a single continuous take and the dialogue stays fresh and spontaneous through improvisation.

producers and writers to create their own work, free of controlling studios and commissioners – no matter how small the budget or how crazy the idea. Producing the series in this way certainly brought its own challenges but it allowed us the freedom to tell a different story in the way, we think, works best.

Web series continue to proliferate and challenge the popularity of their television counterparts. This medium provides a platform for independent

Each episode is released weekly on Sunday nights at 8pm with the season finale on 23rd December – just in time for Christmas!

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TASHTASTIC! So fella’s (Mo Bros) get involved! Allow your facial hair to just go wild (Mo Sistas, it’s probably not best you get involved with this one), and allow for a freeing facial experience!

WRITTEN BY HENRIETTA ODEY-SOLE

Over the years, more and more men, including celebrities, have got involved with the moustache growth. Therefore with such a large number of companions rocking the same trend, Mayhem! brings you the Mayhem! Mo Guide, to benefit you and your perfectly groomed prickly top lip.

MO VEMBER

November is here and the craze sweeping the nation is here once again! Launched back in 2007 in the UK , Movember is an annual, month-long event involving the growth of a moustache during the month of November. The Movember Foundation is a charity which raises awareness to men’s health and whose goal is a metaphor of its practice “change the face of men’s health”. The charity encourages both men and women (Mo Bros and Mo Sistas) to become involved in the at tempt of increasing early cancer detection, diagnosis, and treatment and to ultimately reduce the number of preventable deaths. Besides get ting annual check-ups, Movember encourages men to become aware of the inheritable possibilities of cancer, and to also adopt a healthier lifestyle. 22 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

So 1st November comes about and it’s time to grow your mo, bully for you, you’re the man’s man! The rulings are as follows: Step 1: Begin Movember with a cleanly shaven face. This allows for true Movember Moustache authenticity. Cheating will simply result in your audience believing you may have warewolf blood surging through your veins. Step 2: For the entire month of Movember each Mo Bro must grow, groom, and effectively maintain a moustache. There is to be no joining of the mo to one’s sideburns (this is considered a beard), and no joining of the handlebars to one’s chin (this is considered a goatee). And that’s it! It’s that simple to get involved in such a popular health screening concept. Now you’re allowing your facial hair follicles to work in overdrive, you’ve got to choose your mo style. This is where the Mayhem! Mo Guide will help. Choose a mo style, and over the month groom to maintain perfection. With a plethora of options there’s no doubt you’ll find one to suit your top lip.

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TASHTASTIC!

TH E PE NC IL

Th in, pencil th in … obviously.

:

TH E SANC H EZ :

Worn across the top of your lip down to the cre ases in your sm ile, normall y thin.

Er rol Flyn n, Br ad Pitt, the French .

THE HANDLEBAR: Horizontal in its nature, it looks just like the handlebars of a bicycle. The ends must be worn long enough to curl them upwards.

9/10 Un less you lo ok like Brad Pitt in which case 8/10. Movember gr owing difficulty: 3/ 10 Pretty easy al thou gh it ta kes a lot of up keep.

Old army majors, anyone from the 19th Century. 7/10 Unless you are wearing a smoking jacket and carrying a pipe in which case it drops to 1/10. Movember growing difficulty: 6/10

Pedro from Napoleo n Dy na mite, Cool pe ople.

THE WALRUS:

Big and bushy mo that you let grow out of control. Stalin, a walrus 1/10 for the walrus, 6/10 if you are over 40, else 8/10. Movember growing difficulty: 6/10 Easy, but only if you’re one hairy hairy man.

TH E HOR S

E S HOE :

out goatee with Looks like a differs d an t en the chin elem you Manchu as from the Fu uck st is is ang. Th don’t let it h . ay w e all th to your face

TH E CH EVRON:

6/10 But if you’re rea lly co ol 1/10. Movember growing difficulty: 8/10

A thick and wide moustache, usually worn long to cover the top border of the upper lip.

age r of the Vill T hat membe en B , an lk Hog People, Hu d geba ll. o D in er ill St 5/10 e to grow on sy ea ly It ’s a fa ir ng you ti ea ch and if you’re atee go a h it w ca n h ide it . te u in m st u ntil the la g in grow Movember /10 6 : y lt cu diffi

Businessmen, army officers, your dad in the 70s. 4/10 Pretty low, this is the easiest one to grow and get away with . Movember growing difficulty: 2/10

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

TH E LOL:

This is one for those who stru ggle to grow facial hair at all and is the resu lt of growing any thing you can under you r nose.

TH E DICTATOR:

Looks like a toothbrush under you r nose. Adolf Hilter, you r average tyra nt. 10/10 You’ll look like an idiot and no one will want to be you r friend, unless they happen to be an egotistical megalomaniac. Controversial to say the least. Movember growing difficulty: 1/10 You’ll be able to get it up and run ning on the first day.

People who never have to shave (pre -pubescent’s and poor excuses of men). 10/10 You’ll have to wea r a bad ge say ing you are doing it for cha rity to save being the butt of every joke going Movember growing difficulty: 1/10 This is first day embrassment stu ff All in all at tem pt to avoid the ‘Lol’ at all it. cos ts! So the re you hav e and ber vem Embrace Mo ’t grow fan tas tic fuz z! Don jus t do it for charity, you owe it to you r upp er lip! NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

23

CHOICE BIOGRAPHIES AT WATERSTONES…

WRITTEN BY EMMA REID

PAUL O’GRADY STILL STANDING: THE SAVAGE YEARS

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OLLY MURS HAPPY DAYS There are some fabulous, never before seen shots in this lovely book. It chronicles the life and rise to stardom of Olly Murs, the 2009 X Factor runner up. Murs provides some touching writing and shows us why he is such a loveable character.

DAVID WALLIAMS CAMP DAVID Walliams is known for his awesome fund raising as much as for his comedy and in this thoroughly enjoyable autobiography he speaks candidly about all of the things that have inspired him to do both. It is at times sad and poignant as well as being outrageously funny, as much of a contradiction as the author himself. 24 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

WILL YOUNG FUNNY PECULIAR Another success story from the world of TV talent shows, this time from Pop Idol, Will Young has enjoyed a successful career for the last 11 years. This book is part memoir and part advice book (particularly in its advice on how to deal with the DVLA helpline). It’s a refreshing take on the autobiography.

Lily Savage made Paul O’Grady a household name and now he tells the story of his life as one the UK’s most famous drag acts. It chronicles not only the success years but also the early act, touring dodgy pubs and avoiding riots. Absolutely hilarious and filled with tales of drunken escapades and hair raising situations. If you are a Paul/ Lily fan, then this is a must have!

MIRANDA HART IS IT JUST ME? Hart refers to this autobiography as her ‘Miran-ual’ for if, like her, you have suffered continual embarrassments throughout your life then you can fear no more. Hart’s biography will help you deal with a whole host of embarrassing situations by telling you about all of hers and giving some tips. If it doesn’t, it will at least give you a great laugh and a feeling of solidarity: you aren’t the only one.

JOHN LENNON LETTERS EDITED BY HUNTER DAVIES As The Beatles’ official biographer, Davies has had more access to the fab four than most. In this collection he has put together some 250 of Lennon’s letters written to newspapers, family, friends and various other organisations. They provide a fascinating insight into this perennially fascinating individual.

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KEEP CALM...!

NATIONAL

R S T ESS AWARENESS DAY WRITTEN BY ROSIE SABAN

UNDER PRESSURE?

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KEEP CALM...!

STRESSED? Stress can be caused by all sorts of things, from the predictable: work/ relationships/moving house scenarios, to the more unusual: my cake won’t rise/I can’t find my favourite underwear/there isn’t anymore cheese in the fridge. It affects us all in different ways and to different extents. Maybe you feel a little tired, or a bit down, or you might be one of the unlucky ones that experience nosebleeds and vomiting due to stress.

THE BLUES National Stress Awareness Day is here to highlight your plight! With autumn and its somber offerings of cold, wet weather and man flu in full swing, it’s a perfect time to raise awareness. 7th November has been marked as the official day, and all of us can take part in some little way.

THE STATS If you do nothing else to contribute to the occasion, take a moment and look around you. Does your work colleague look a little down in the mouth? Is your friend prone to crying? Is your partner more snappy than usual? There may be alternative reasons for these symptoms, but surveys have suggested around 45 million working days are lost every year through stress and anxiety related conditions, with about 12 million adults seeking doctors help with mental illnesses each year, most of which are stress related.

MOTIVATE OR HINDER? Sometimes stress can motivate us, making us start the essay we’ve been putting off, or ask the girl out on the tube we’ve seen looking at us intermittently for the last three weeks. But often, it’s not motivational, it’s unpleasant. So why not make your aim for National Stress Awareness Day to identify which colleagues are looking a little worse for wear, and bake a cake for your co-worker, or give them a hug (if they are willing), organise a surprise meal for your partner, offer to babysit for your friend.

RAOK Or if you are feeling super sociable, how about an RAOK – a Random Act of Kindness. Tell a stranger you love what they are wearing, or randomly give someone a bunch of flowers. Then, when you end up feeling a little stressed yourself, some kind person may return the favour and your faith in humanity will be restored.

RELAX! If you suffer from stress yourself, try having a nap (work permitting), making more time for hobbies like drawing, painting, baking, whatever it is that makes you stop and slow down. Sing along to the radio at full volume, be silly, daydream! In the words of the late journalist Sydney J Harris: “The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it�. Make time to deal with stress this year.

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THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY AT WORK... BUT SHOULDN’T!

28 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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NO TIME TO STOP!

HOW TO STAY ON TOP OF WORK

AT HOME

re can be som e hom e wit h you, the tak e you r bus ine ss ing work and s. It ’s bad enoug h mix ine vit able dilem ma forts can work and hom e com ple asu re, but mix ing kit che n wh en you nip to the the re to tell you off to stop you cup pa? Who’s going to make you r 12t h h iss ues d from you r work wit becoming dis tra cte at am ‘wh or ’ out es the bin s such as ‘I nee d to tak re are He n’? the t igh din ner ton I going to hav e for e… hom at ng rki wo s for the ‘Mayhe m!’ top tip

30 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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NO TIME TO STOP!

E WORK SPAurCso fa or the dining

yo Don’t work from rk ing is not a decent wo ng hi uc slo le, tab ce offi sig n a decent sta nce. Instead, as u yo If . ns distractio space away from ey th re su e ak m home, have ch ild ren at te ra pa se a in of re are being taken ca best distraction at the room – they’re a s ur ho g g work in of times but du rin tiv ity absorbers. uc od pr t jus they’re n-work related no Mu ltitasking with ficial for your ne be be tasks will not reases stress. work and on ly inc

C O M PU T E R NO NO’S music.

WORK HOURS

nin Avoid shopping or run distraction leads to break time, because one ne cha in of failure!). Imagi s uou tin another (the con r afte and ch lun shop for you rself run ning to the a frid ge, a distracting ide the g din loa are you when of rid ’t I clean up and get comes to mind: ‘why don frid ge before I load my my in ds the out of date goo n for ly ma rinate the chicke new stu ff?’ or ‘I’ll qu ick The ?’ ter pu com the on back din ner before getting one trip has tur ned into a half an hou r pla nned break for you and has ch lun and a half hou r r mind from the ter ribly distracted you work you were doing.

KNOW WH E N

dre Sometimes you can be n’t wear you r uld wo You ly. com for tab not to wear them PJs to the office, so try they promote ng, at home when worki com for t, by ain int Ma sleep not work! someth ing ar we to try but , all means es cki slightly smarter tha n tra uld be wo t tha – t (obviously not a sui It gets le)! tab for com un lud icrous and h. hig k-good you on a feel-good loo

BAS E

F BREAKS ALLOCATION O ands du ring lunch err g

Your ‘office’ hours be gin when you get to work at your desk, du ring wh ich you do not wa nt to be disturbed – on ly un less your ho use is on fire, your babysitter is about to dia l 999, or the gorgeous ga rdener has decided to take his sh irt off ! De dicate this time entirely to your wo rk. You will have to take authority over yourself and your distractions. If you’r e str ug gling , you on ly have yourself to bla me!

RETAIL TH ERAPY AT WORK ssed too

T OU C H I N G

Effective an d regu la r co m mun icat io is the key to n successful w orking – ng di oa nl an yw he No dow re . If s. employed, be upfront er or chat room about what No messeng hours you ke or er itt Tw o ep when N . ok bo w or ce ki Fa o ng N from home w ith your empl twork sites If self- employ oyer. ot her social ne ed tr y and ge e es Th s. ur t word out to ho k or fr w ie nds and fa m du ring ily about yo t there to ur ‘office’ hours, so they th ings are pu know not to e ar ey th dist ract you w ith hour lo dist ract us , so ng phone co nversations mple no! about how to a plain and si make a ca ke !

TO STOP

Shut off the com puter and get ou t of the work area, wor king from hom e so met imes may mea n wor king more hour s than you m ight actually put in your regu la r work day. To avoid doing so, tra in yourse lf to your schedu le and av oid getting into th e habit of checking your emails after dinn er. Do not let the working ho urs ta ke any of your personal fa m ily time. En joy leav ing your work! Ru n! It w ill all be wai ting for you in th e mor ning (u nfor tu nately) . You w ill feel sa tisfied and orga nised once you get into that m ind-set.

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rove In short , p d , yo u r rl o to the w r, and employe that it , lf e rs yo u ssible o really is p a mule e k li to work ying the while enjo f ho m e comfort o ou r offee in y brewed c mu g a n d favourite rs! ur slippe o y wearing

NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

31

TALES

WRITTEN BY KELLY WICKHAM

GRAN KNOWS BEST!

OF OLD TOLD! STILL

CATCHING A COLD If you’re in a rush, many people leave the house with wet hair, letting it naturally dry, while their parents recite the familiar ‘you’ll catch a cold’ at them. There is only one real way of catching a cold, and that’s by coming into direct contact with the virus itself. There is no evidence that being cold will give you a cold, so this is a hair-brained idea!

CARROTS HELP YOU SEE IN THE DARK Although carrots contain vitamin A, which is good for your eyes, eating lots of them will not improve your vision in the slightest. Rumours seem to say that this tale originated during the Second World War when it was said British airmen had excellent night vision from eating the orange veg to stop the Germans discovering that the British were using radar.

CRACKING YOUR KNUCKLES CAUSES ARTHRITIS The only thing about this myth which is true is the knowledge that it is bad for you. Continually cracking your knuckles results in a loss in strength of your grip and can cause swelling. It doesn’t cause arthritis but it is extremely irritating nonetheless – so stop doing it!

ld ‘an Have you be en to th e s ep ap ple a day ke not to doct or aw ay ’ or hair go ou t w it h w et tch a ca ll be caus e you’ th es e of y cold? How man e ar old w iv es tale s on es ch hi w d an gosp el lly? ar e ju st pl ain si

32 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

DON’T OPEN AN UMBRELLA INDOORS This superstition actually dates back to Victorian times where umbrellas could violently pop open and the metal spokes would injure somebody or break objects. The legend has lived on to this day – although, thankfully, umbrellas’ mechanisms have significantly improved. Probably best to stick to this one however, as you could still have someone’s eye out in a confined space!

SITTING TOO CLOSE TO THE TELEVISION WILL GIVE YOU SQUARE EYES Remember this being said to you when you were a child? This is, unsurprisingly, a complete myth and will not damage your eyesight at all. Perhaps our parents were just using it as an excuse to make us watch less TV, or perhaps they based it on the studies that show too much TV will make children overweight, aggressive and slower in school? Who knows?

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LITTLE SAUSAGES SIZZLING IN THE PAN!

e , f or Carnivores rejoic em be r t he 5 t h –11t h Nov e We ek ! is Brit is h Saus ag

SAY IT WITH SAUSAGES WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

34 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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LITTLE SAUSAGES SIZZLING IN THE PAN!

BANGERS AND MASH WHAT GOES IN!

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Hang out the bunting, stick ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ on nice and loud and tuck into a banger or two (pork, beef or veal, in line with tradition), as we tell you more. Grub’s up! IN THE BEGINNING This most lovely of meaty treats has been around almost as long as man has walked the Earth – early man is believed to have had a go at making them by wedging roasted intestines into casings made from animal stomachs. Enough to put you right off! You may want to look away now… The word ‘sausage’ actually comes from the Latin salsisium, which means ‘something that has been salted’, and the nickname ‘banger’ goes back to the Second World War – due to high water content and a lack of other ingredients during rationing they were liable to explode as the water turned to steam in most pans. And just to add bang to the bangers, did you know they are older than both the Ancient Greek and Roman civilisations? The Sumerians first made them in anything approaching their present form 5,000 years ago. Handy if you find yourself struggling in a Classical Civilisations exam or needing a conversation starter in the lunch queue.

THE SAUSAGE PRESERVATION SOCIETY But who’s around to keep this proudest of legacies alive today? Say hello to Love Pork’s British Sausage Appreciation Society – founded by enthusiasts for enthusiasts, and committed to the promotion of ethically produced sausages under the

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Red Tractor scheme. This was launched by the National Farmers Union in 2000 to raise awareness of what local farmers actually do when it comes to food after a survey found that 70% of Britons had no idea of just what their local farms produce. For more on what can be done to make it easier on the specially selected little piggies who go into your food, why not checkout www.assurance.redtractor.org.uk

CELEBRITY FANS And if that weren’t enough consider the rich and varied list of celebs who can’t bear to go without their good old bangers – Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards revealing in his autobiography that he absolutely can’t stand foreign food when on tour, his wife Patti saving the day by carrying sausages about her person in case he can’t get no satisfaction, possibly having to fight off Mick Jagger as he tucks in. Highwayman Dick Turpin moonlighted as a butcher in Epping Forest when not robbing stagecoaches and serving as inspiration for Adam & The Ants (see the video for ‘Stand And Deliver’), crafting his sausages from meat hunted in the local area. The list of adoring fans stretches from the sausage-roll loving Elvis Presley to Chelsea playboy John Terry, Kate Winslet, Michael Caine, Prince Charles and Queen Victoria (who insisted that any meat put before her was hand-chopped and not minced. Tasty! NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

35

FALLEN HEROES

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THE WORLD

AT WAR WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

SOLDIERING ON Remembrance Sunday is marked with ceremonies at war memorials up and down the land, with the BBC covering events from a base at the Cenotaph in Whitehall (which was itself first unveiled on Armistice Day 1920) – designed by architect Sir Edwin Lutyens, originally as a temporary wood and plaster monument for 1919’s London Victory Parade. Had the Prime Minister of the time, David Lloyd George, got his way, what we would be seeing set in stone nowadays would be similar to a catafalque (the platform used to support coffins at funerals). Thankfully, the idea never came 36 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

to pass, and following the British War Cabinet’s decision to replace the initial structure with a more permanent Portland stone replica on 23rd October 1919, the Cenotaph as we know it today was in place. Unveiled by King George V as part of a procession to bring the ‘Unknown Soldier’ home and lay him to rest in a tomb at Westminster Abbey, it still stands as a sacred spot for soldiers to remember the comrades who never made it home – though interestingly it was never dedicated by a priest, as is custom with some similar structures, as not all of the men it commemorates were of the Christian faith.

Military bands are also called upon to dust off their instruments, and routinely treat the crowds who turn out to watch to selections from an official programme of music, including ‘God Save The Queen’, ‘Men Of Harlech’, and the stirring ‘Last Post’, a traditional bugle call used to inform serving soldiers that sentry post inspections around their camps had been completed for another evening, with parades by veterans another rousing sight to behold amid a sea of poppies.

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FALLEN HEROES

ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT ARMISTICE DAY IS NO LESS IMPORTANT, MARKING THE DEFEAT OF GERMANY (NOT TECHNICALLY CONSIDERED A SURRENDER),

q Termination of military hostilities within six hours of signature. q Immediate removal of all German troops from France, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Alsace-Lorraine. q Subsequent removal of all German troops from territory on the west side of the Rhine plus 30km radius bridgeheads of the right side of the Rhine at the cities of Mainz, Koblenz, and Cologne with ensuing occupation by Allied and US troops. q Removal of all German troops at the eastern front to German territory as it was on 1st August 1914. q Renunciation of the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk with Russia and of the Treaty of Bucharest with Romania.

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q Surrender of material: 5,000 cannons, 25,000 machine guns, 3,000 minenwerfers (mine launchers), 1,700 aeroplanes, 5,000 locomotive engines, and 150,000 rail-cars. Sadly it was not all good news, as German anger at the terms of the subsequent Treaty of Versailles (signed on 28th June 1919) could be seen as a deciding factor in the quick rise of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis in the years following the passage of the treaty. But that was a dark chapter yet to come, and we here at Mayhem! salute those who fell then, and all those on duty in the conflicts of today.

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ONE TO ONE WITH…

We catch up with British singer/songwriter Ellie Goulding this month as she talks about what we can expect from her second album ‘Halcyon’, the latest on her relationship with US producer and musician SKRILLEX plus how she’d love to settle down in the country... INTERVIEW BY HEIDI BRIDGES

38 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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ONE TO ONE WITH…

YOUR SINGLE ‘ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN’ IS REALLY UPBEAT – WHERE DID THAT IDEA COME FROM?

I think that myself and my producer, Jim, were just in that kind of mood and it was the first song that we wrote together. I think we were really happy to have found each other and found someone with a similar interest in music. So we were sort of on a bit of a childlike high. We just wanted to experiment and play around and I think the result of that was just this really happy, positive song. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU THOUGHT ‘ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN’ IN LIFE?

Well especially over the last two years I can apply it to everything in my life. I wasn’t even sure that I was going call the song ‘Anything Could Happen’, it was just sort of a statement within the song but it just seemed like the most obvious thing. But yeah I couldn’t think of another title for it but it’s definitely been something that I’ve said a lot. I mean, so many weird things have happened and crazy, amazing things. LAST YEAR, THE ROYAL WEDDING!

Very, very unexpected to be asked. I suppose I didn’t think it was actually going to happen but, yeah, it did. I just got this phone call and that was that. It was a crazy time, I released ‘Your Song’ and I started to go over to the States and I was winding things down here because I’d promoted the record for a while and I’d released about six singles, so it was getting to the point where I was moving over the pond and that was really just a lovely thing. In fact I came back because I was on tour when I found out and I couldn’t tell anyone and it was quite difficult but that was a very mad time for me. AND DO YOU STAY IN TOUCH?

We did stay in touch but, I mean, they’re just really big fans and I’m sure they’ll come to a show and stuff and I’m sure we’ll see each other at some point.

DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE DOING THIS INFINITELY?

I’d like to be. Touring is the most fun that I’ve ever had. So if I can continue making music and touring for the rest of my life I’ll be really, really happy. Obviously I’ll probably retire at some point to the countryside, but at the moment life’s pretty fun. DO YOU THINK ABOUT SETTLING DOWN, HAVING KIDS?

I do. I do think about that a bit. I definitely want to have kids one day. I think it’ll be fun – as well as a lot of hard work. Bu yeah, I think it’ll be really cool. But I definitely want to party quite a lot in the next year. HAVE YOU ALWAYS HAD SUCH A GENTLE VOICE? APART FROM WHEN YOU BLAST IT OUT...

Oh I can definitely belt it – I can shout very loud. My voice is quite unusual because it can go from being very quiet and soft to really big and loud. I’ve just kind of played around with it for the past few years and experimented since I was young and I’ve listened to different singers. I suppose it’s quite versatile in a way. But I wonder if, as I get older, whether it’ll change but at the moment it’s still sort of quite young. Someone said it sounded like Justin Bieber the other day. SO YOU’RE BIG IN THE STATES NOW AND YOU’ VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME OVER THERE. DO YOU THINK YOU’LL MAKE THE MOVE PERMANENTLY?

Do you know, I don’t think I will because I sort of thought about it for a little bit but I would miss it here too much – and it’s a long way so I couldn’t make a habit of coming back and forth. I like it here too much, I think. I miss things, like I miss my flat. I just miss London things. But eventually I do actually want to live back out in the country where I grew up. I miss it.

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NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

39

ONE TO ONE WITH…

“I’ve got really, really good people around me, so that definitely makes a big difference in my life” 40 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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ONE TO ONE WITH…

SO ’HALCYON’ IS A VERY AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL RECORD FOR YOU. WAS IT CATHARTIC MAKING IT, QUITE UPSETTING AT TIMES?

It was upsetting because I would write this song and then I’d listen back to it and go, ‘God, like, where did that come from?’ I often wrote things out on paper and then I’d read it back and think, ‘Wow, that is quite deep and quite strong.’ I’ve had so many good memories of making this record, of being back out in Hereford. Me and Jim had a lot of fun and I get on with him so well and his kids and his wife are lovely. So it’s been quite an odd one because I’ve been at times so elated and then other times when I’m making stuff it’s quite emotional to keep revisiting. I’m sure performing stuff will be quite interesting for me. IF YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE IT’ S A LONELY TIME – IS THAT WHY YOU WANTED TO GO BACK HOME AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FAMILIARITY AND BE NEAR YOUR FAMILY?

It really helped me to be around a family and even just being back in Hereford it was nice to be around just friendly faces. Hannah, my best friend, is from the same place as me so doing what I do it’s definitely important to have good people around you because you spend a lot of your life with them. Even those who might do my make-up or style me or whatever, I’ve got really, really good people around me, so that definitely makes a big difference in my life. I think just being in different hotels all the time is quite disconcerting and makes you feel a bit sort of weird, you know. I don’t get to wake up in my flat very often, so it’s definitely important to have good people. AND YOU’RE DATING SKRILLEX NOW, WHO’ S THE MAN OF THE MOMENT. HOW DID YOU TWO GET TOGETHER?

He sent me an email, like, ages ago just saying he was a big fan and I sent one back saying I was a fan and it just sort of went

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from there, really. We made music, we made a song together and then as I spent more time over there he was obviously there and we ended up seeing a bit more of each other and, yes, that’s it really. WHAT’S IT LIKE DATING A MUSICIAN?

It’s really good. I can imagine people will think it will be difficult because all there is is music and you’re completely engrossed in music all the time. But it’s cool because it’s good to talk to someone about it all the time and it’s cool to have someone who shares such a passionate interest as you do – so it’s pretty cool. YOU’VE ALWAYS SAID YOU’VE BEEN INTO THAT TYPE OF MUSIC. HE’S STARTED DOING DUBSTEP, BUT IT STARTED AS DRUM AND BASS, DIDN’T IT?

Yeah, I mean, he’s a really good producer and he’s done a lot of different things. To be honest he’s produced everything from rock stuff – he’s worked with Korn, he’s worked with The Doors and he’s worked with rappers. He does a lot of different stuff. He’s a very clever producer DO YOU SEND EACH OTHER LITTLE TUNES?

Yeah, if I hear something new I’ll send it over or if I make something new I’ll send it and see what he thinks and vice versa. Yeah, it’s pretty cool to have. YOU GOT VERY ADVENTUROUS WITH YOUR VIDEO – ARE YOU GONNA BE DOING STUFF LIKE THAT ON TOUR?

I think so. If people are going to pay to come and see me on tour I want to make it really, really special. I think I’ve built up a really good reputation as a live performer so I’d like to keep that. I want people to pay to see something really special. So as much as I’m not gonna go OTT I definitely want to do something really, really different and special and epic. We’ll see, we’ll see – I haven’t thought about that yet but the proper touring will start next year, you know, but in December I’m still going to think of something special.

NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

41

WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

BONJOUR!

rd we use Hello! It ’s a wo without st mo al y every da times it’s me thinking. But so st saying ju an th about more ere World it, and that’s wh into play. s Hello Day come vember No st 21 Since 1973, chance to e th it th wi s bring eeting gr turn a standard ace. pe r fo e into a forc

Since its inception by brothers Brian and Michael McCormack as a response to the Yom Kippur War between Israel and Egypt, the aim of the game has been to gently nudge people around the world into saying hi to at least ten new people on the day, fostering closer links in communities all over the world and persuading politicians that peaceful communication is better than brute force in the process of solving diplomatic disputes. Join us in saying hello to a better world... 42 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

A HISTORY OF HELLO The word ‘hello’ began to replace ‘hullo’ or ‘hallo’ as early as 1830 in written English, with Thomas Edison the man credited as introducing it as a telephone greeting. Before his brainwave Alexander Graham Bell had used ‘A hoy!’ as a means of introduction - all of this well before Mr Burns was heard to use ‘A hoy-hoy’ on ‘The Simpsons’. Female telephone exchange operators were also known as ‘hello girls’ from 1889, after the greeting became synonymous with the telephone – but please don’t try it next time you see a lovely lady across the bar. Times have changed since old Tom first invented the phone, you know - and before you ask, ladies, no ‘hello sailor’ may not work on the male of the species. Unless he is actually a sailor, in which case trying is everything!

GIVE PEACE A CHANCE Nobel Peace Prize winners, US Presidents, Popes and actors/pop-stars alike have backed World Hello Day for many years. To read a selection of their letters in support of the cause go to www.worldhelloday.org/letters Where else would you find Kofi Annan, Brian Wilson and the Queen on the same page (unless they’ve started their own Beach Boys tribute act)? And wouldn’t it be nice if we really could bring about peace one country at a time, just by greeting one another with one simple word? Say Hello to potential change at www.worldhelloday.org

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CLARENCE GARDENS A walm welcome to everyone from Rory and the team from the local sports pub with fantastic food deals and amazing drinks offers. The pub offers a large heated patio and smoking areas at the rear and two pool tables.

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CHILDREN

IN NEED WRITTEN BY CHRIS WALSH

Children in Nee d tak es ove r the BBC sch edu les again as let their hair dow n and ’, to ‘Do Som ething Dif ferent ner able help the young and vul do you ch in the UK . Bu t how mu ning run know about the longm!’ yhe ‘Ma charit y telethon? .. rs. we has the ans

Friday 16th Novemb er

FUNDRAISING THE HISTORY Children in Need started out as a Christmas Day Appeal, way back in 1955, when you were lucky to get a choice of TV channels. Presented by Sooty and Harry Corbett, this version of Children in Need continued on TV and radio until 1979.

TERRY WOGAN The lovable Irish wit joined Children in Need in 1978, but the modern telethon format didn’t start until 1980. The BBC One broadcast was so successful that the appeal raised more than one million pounds for the first time. 44 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

PUDSEY The teddy bear mascot joined the appeal in 1985, but didn’t get his distinctive yellow colour or spotted bandage until a redesign for Children in Need 1986. Like the move to telethon format, Pudsey was a great success – he’s received emails, drawings and letters from kids across the country, and has been photographed with everyone from Paul McCartney to the Chuckle Brothers!

People do all sorts of funny things to raise money for Children in Need – sitting in a bath of baked beans is almost everyday compared to the efforts of Eileen de Bont. In 2008 she changed her legal name to ‘Pudsey Bear’, after raising £4,000. However, this did prove an obstacle when she tried to get a new passport the following year – the name was deemed ‘frivolous’ by the UK Identity and Passport Service! So far, over £600 million has been raised for Children in Need over the years – that’s equivalent to a tenner from everyone on the planet - and it’s all spent on kids projects in the UK!

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HOLIDAYS OFF THE BEATEN TRACK...!

WITH A DIFFERENCE WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

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MAYHEM! INFORMATION

The UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office currently advises against ALL travel to Iran, Mali, Somalia, Syria and Yemen.

NORTH KOREA

KOSOVO

MAURITANIA

Kosovo sits snugly amid the borders of Montenegro, Serbia, Macedonia and Albania. This fledgling nation is now pretty much recognised as an independent state by the international community and is welcoming tourists in as part of its drive for economic self sufficiency. The nation boasts two UNESCO world heritage sites, one of which is the Patriachate of Pec, a 12th Century monastery as well as the spectacular Regova Gorge. Kosovars are friendly and generous people who will give you a warm welcome.

A country the size of France but with a population of only three million (France squeezes in nearly 66 million!) and a predictable climate if you want to catch some rays – it’s either hot or very hot. If you want heat and sand dunes (the Sahara Desert no less), deserted beaches and unpaved roads that could lead anywhere, then make Mauritania your next port of call. Direct flights can currently be made there from France – you have to start there because no airlines currently fly direct from the UK to Mauritania!

46 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

Yes, they do encourage tourists! But it’s difficult to get to, with flights currently going from Beijing three times a week – so you need to get to China for a start! Expensive and highly restricted at all times – if you go, expect to be accompanied by at least two Government officials at all times who will regale you with stories of their ‘glorious leader’ and the ‘wicked south’. If anything it would be an experience. And don’t expect to be able to use your mobile either – it almost certainly won’t work. Indeed, those North Koreans fortunate enough to own a mobile were told they would be branded and charged as ‘war criminals’ if they were caught using it during the 100 day mourning period for late President Kim Jong-Il.

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FLYING HIGH!

ow at the Ahead of their sh y this mont h , cellars in east ne h ‘paper w e caug ht up wit sarah an d aeroplan es ’ duo er how richard to discov d! it all g ot st arte

PAPER AEROPLANES INTERVIEW BY CHRIS DONNELLY

Folk and acoustic music is on a massive revival at the moment with the likes of Ben Howard, Pete Roe, Lucy Rose and heaps more. How do you feel about that and

I’m really happy about it. I think we fit right in. We’re never ones to want to be in a scene, but we do share some fans with those artists you mentioned. We have different influences and different stories to tell, but essentially we’re all about the emotion, the lyrics and the voice and usually sparse, acoustic accompaniment. 48 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

There’ s not too many duos in the music scene at the moment, but there are plenty of non-musical ones! Which duo would you both liken yourselves to, and why?

I’d love to say The Carpenters but it’s more Itchy and Scratchy!

different my childhood was. I was by the sea in a town, where everyone knew your name and it’s completely moulded me. It makes me proud to be Welsh and determined to put Milford Haven on the map!

How much of an impression does your Welsh heritage leave on your music?

If you could bottle up the best moments of 2012 for you both so far, what would they be?

It leaves a huge impression. On our new songs (the current EP ‘Time To Be’ and the new album due next year) it’s more apparent than ever. Living in London makes me realise how

We chatted about this and both agreed that Performing at Koln (Cologne) Philharmonie to 1,500 people was our highlight. Our Big Session festival slot was always a bit

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FLYING HIGH! so than when it’s to a group of people in a field that don’t already know our songs. Or a room full of fans singing along under their breath. How did the new EP come about? More importantly,

The EP is a selection of album tracks that were ready way before the others and needed a good home. We also knew we’d have too many songs for the album and which ones we wanted as definites for that. As always, in the end, some of the EP songs are my favourites. Who knows how we found the time. Rich gave up his day job finally so we had a bit more! Back ‘off-the-road’, you’ve been preparing a new album; can we expect a new-direction, and through Paper Aeroplanes ‘old-school’ music? Will it even be quite Spring themed to suit the release date?

I think we progress and change every time we release music. This album will have a more mature sound as well as being darker and more raw in places than we’ve ever been before. There will be more drum tracks and more intricate production than ‘We Are Ghosts’. It won’t be a million miles from our previous music, but it feels very different to me. It feels like a dark, navy, blustery record. But in West Wales that could be any season! special. For me cycling round Cardiff’s Bute Park for three hours on a beautiful sunny day making the ‘Time To Be’ video was lovely. I hadn’t cycled for years. Hectic probably isn’t the word to describe how busy 2012 seems to have been for you – what have you enjoyed the most about being out on the road and playing festivals?

It’s that hour or 40 mins on stage that make the travelodges and the hours in the van worth it. We just love playing our songs to a crowd and never more

The new single ‘ Time To Be’ sounds really beautiful and dreamy. What ’s it all about?

‘Time To Be’ was written when I was having a change of outlook. It’s quite dark and dreamy, but for me, it’s all about the lyrics: “capture the highs and banish the lows”. That’s what I wanted to do with this song. It’s a bit like a spell. You’re touring all through October, November and some of December - what are going to be some of your ‘ tour-essentials’ that you’ll be packing and relying on?

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Haha, well we live off M&S salads and service station coffees, as I’m sure a lot of the population do, but in the van I’ll be sure to pack my iPad (for keeping everyone up-to-date with tour pics on instagram), deodorant (enough to share with the boys), a few cosy jumpers for the trips up north and my trusty make-up bag. Covering the dark circles under the eyes when on tour, is a challenge! My own Yogi tea bags are also a must. Is there anywhere in particular you’re excited to be playing this time round?

Norwich Arts Centre and Cluny 2 in Newcastle feature high on my ‘looking forward to’ list. I’ve played both before as a support act, but sometimes that’s the beauty of it… waiting for your turn to headline a lovely venue. Also I can’t wait to headline the Dartington Hall festival. It’s such a great line-up. Now and again we see one or both of you performing with different artists, Al Lewis being one that springs to mind more recently. If you could perform with anyone in the world who would you pick and why?

My ideal collaborations would be with duets with Jeff Buckley and Guy Garvey and maybe a rhythm guitar job with Jimmy Eat World. After seeing you live this Winter, what do you hope your fans go away thinking and feeling?

I hope go away from our shows feeling like they’ve had a one off experience and that they’ve got to know us a little. I’d like it if our songs spoke to people and made them think and feel a little (or a lot).

ou t on th e er . 26th Nove mb Pape r You ca n se e at Ae ropl an es th e East ne y e Ce ll ar s on th . 8t h Nove mb er NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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WINTER WEAR AT DEBENHAMS Redherring Check Duffle Coat £85 Henry Holland Corey Owl Jumper £38 Henry Holland Pleated Skater Skirt £35 Her Look:£ 158 St George by Duffer Hool Wool Contrast Coat £99

Stay warm in style this winter at Debenhams. Mayhem! presents our best buys for girls and guys with a little something for everyone. Head to Debenhams in Commercial Road, Portsmouth for all of these stunning winter looks.

50 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

Jasper Conran Cable Shawl Cardi £60 F.F.P. Egg Cup Tee £17 St George by Duffer Tapered Jeans £35 His Look: £211

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WINTER WEAR AT DEBENHAMS Henry Holland Lightweight Parka £65 Henry Holland Heart Print Dress £38 Her Look: £103 Redherring Bomber Jacket £90 Mantaray Zip through Hoodie £45 Ben Sherman Covent Collar House Shirt £50 Levi 508 Quincy Mid Wash Jeans £85 His Look: £270

Director Daniel Tidbury Male Model Alex Jones Female Model Monica Wood Hair & Make-up Amanda Strother & United Salons, Southsea Stylists Sophie Allen Abigail Jarvis Photography Tidbury Photography

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WINTER WEAR AT DEBENHAMS Redherring Coat £55 Mantaray Waffle Dip Hem Jumper £36 Redherring Chambray Shirt Blue Denim £30 Redherring Grape Wax Jeans £26 Her Look: £147 St George by Duffer Hooded NLM Gilet £65 St George by Duffer Frisle All Over Jumper £40 Nautica Heritage Pocket Twill Trousers £50 His Look: £155

52 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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WINTER WEAR AT DEBENHAMS Lipsy Quilted Belted Coat £65 Mantaray Empire Cable Cardigan £35 Henry Holland Crazy Horse Scarf £14 Star by Julian McDonald Rib Leggings £28 Her Look: £142 Redherring Synth Hiking Jacket £50 Mantaray HB Check Shirt £33 St George by Duffer Straight Leg Rucker Tapered Jeans £35 Redherring Trapper Hat £25 His Kook: £193

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WINTER WEAR AT DEBENHAMS Redherring PU Sleeve Parka £48 Mantaray Waffle Dip Hem Jumper £36 Redherring Bunny Print Shirt £32 Henry Holland Faux Leather Pleated Skater Skirt £35 Her Look: £151 Redherring Quilted Jacket £70 Redherring Cable Crew Jumper £30 Levi Black 751 Jeans £65 His Look: £165

54 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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WINTER WEAR AT DEBENHAMS Henry Holland Studded Biker Jacket £60 Henry Holland Arran Cardi £38 Henry Holland Rabbit in a Scarf Tee £14 Star by Julian McDonald Rib Leggings £28 Her Look: £140 Ben Sherman Wadded Pea Coat £150 Nautica Argyle Sweater £55 Ben Sherman Gin Check Shirt £45 Levi 508 Quincy Jeans £85 His Look: £335

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NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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GET INVOLVED!

Join our

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to esome pictures aw ur yo nd se y Simpl magazine.co.uk hello@mayhem the best ones and we’ll print issue! in next month’ s

56 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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ELECTRIC GUITAR SHORT COURSES WITH DAVE HOLMES

Electric guitar – the blues %FDFNCFS t b Electric guitar - classic rock solos o +BOVBSZ t b Electric guitar – indie pop/rock .BSDI t b For further information, discounts and a list of all our short courses visit our website www.westdean.org.uk/college West Dean College, West Dean, Chichester, West Sussex PO18 0QZ 0844 4994408

ELECTRIC GUITAR COURSES AT WEST DEAN Do you want to learn how to play the electric guitar like blues guitarists Eric Clapton, BB King or Peter Green? Professional guitarist Dave Holmes, who has recorded and performed live with major musicians such as Annie Lennox, Will Young and Katherine Jenkins, is coming to West Dean to share his expertise in a series of courses for electric guitarists.

Intermediate electric guitar – The blues, 2 December, £102 Intermediate electric guitar – Classic rock solos 18–20 January 18–20, £205 Intermediate electric guitar – Indie pop/rock, 24 March, £102

SPECIAL OFFER! Save 5% on all courses booked online. If you are new to West Dean you are entitled to a 10% discount on the cost of your course (telephone bookings only). For further information, to request a brochure or to book a place, please visit www.westdean.org.uk/college 0844 4994408 bookingsoffice@westdean.org.uk

13–17 November 7.30pm

THE SACRED FLAME English Touring Theatre W. Somerset Maugham

023 8067 1771 www.nuffieldtheatre.co.uk

WRITTEN BY JENNIFER LE ROUX

GET INKED!

1800 BC TRIBAL ORIGINS

6TH–9TH CENTURY THE PICTS

Pre-Christian Germanic and Celtic tribes were often heavily tattooed.

A group of late Iron Age Celtic people in ancient Scotland tattooed with elaborate dark blue woad designs.

LATE 1970S CARD PACKS Temporary tattoos were found in sports, Smurfs, PeeWee’s Playhouse and the Bionic Woman card packs.

EARLY 1980S SCRATCH AND SNIFF

Island slave, Prince Giolo, was the first tattooed man exhibited in England.

N ROLL

rs began to Rock and rolle and lay their tats proudly disp al on iti ad tr d in artists traine ght ou br es lin ip fine art disc awing agery and dr innovative im ry. st du in the techniques to guns le ed ne ic tr elec Advances in th provided em and pigments ties. tistic possibili with more ar

A special coating called Micro-Fragrance that made scratch-n-sniff technology possible was invented. The temporary tattoo industry adopted the scratch-n-sniff concept and a few companies released scented tattoos.

1981 TATTOO

1970S ROCK

1691 TATTOO EXHIBIT

1960S FLOWER POWER The rebellious and anti-social mood of the 60s led to the increased popularity. Flower children were inked in defiance and tattooing for art’s sake alone became fashionable.

LATE 1980S FASHION STATEMENT The cultural status of tattooing took a move to fashion. Tattoos were flaunted by influential rock stars and celebrities.

R EMO

VA L The moder n te ch nique was di scovered in Glasgow when Professor Willia m Reid (M RCS) was seek ing a way to remove w ine sta ins in young ch ild ren w ithout scar rin g. His colleag ue Prof John Evan , s su ggested a tri al w ith a QS ruby laser on hu man sk in . A report w as published in the Br itish Jour na l of Plastic Su rger y (1983) an regu la r clin ic es da tablished in th e hospita l treat the tattooed pa ing tients of Scot la nd . In 1990 they had established the world’s first pr ivate clin ic using th is tech nique, DermaL ase Ltd.

MID-LATE 90S TRAMP STAMP A derogatory name for a tattoo on woman’s lower back. Women baring this type of tattoo were commonly regarded as promiscuous. However, lower back tattoos are usually designed to accent the natural figure of a woman and is less susceptible to stretching if a person goes through various weight changes.

EARLY 2000 PROUD AND SEXY The tramp stamp became more popular in the early 2000s when Britney Spears boasted her new fairy tattoo on her lower back.

ARTICLE SPONSORED BY LADY LUCK TATTOO

023 9242 7058 58 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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T HROUG H

GET INKED!

1890 SHOW US YOUR TATS “La Belle Irene” claimed to be the first completely tattooed woman ever exhibited in a circus. Her decorations included flowers, birds, hearts, cupids, scrolls and sentimental inscriptions.

1828 FREAK SHOW

1769 SA ILOR

SA ILOR

mes er, Captain Ja Br itish explor after o e first to tatto Cook, was th rs ilo Ta hiti. Sa he ar rived in o e w ith basic tw m ho ed retu rn da ha at th os tto ta dimensional ot ifs el. Ty pica l m ca rtoonish fe , ts ers, hear include flow ips, anchors, sh , ds ai mer m and na mes . snakes , birds,

194 0 S

The circus was a showcase for tattoo artists. When circuses went bankrupt, tattooed people and artists were out of work! The first professional tattooed man in Britain was John Rutherford. He was heavily covered in Maori tattoos and on his return from his tribal activities with the Maoris, Rutherford toured with his caravan of wonders showing off his tattoos and telling his adventures!

1890 NOVELTY TATTOOS… The first temporary tattoos were found in bubble gum!

A .C

.A .B CR A .C .A .B IM INA L . is a n ab TATTO brev iati tattoos OS on often in the U in teg rated K . T he A .C .A by “A ll C into pr is .B . is oft ats A re on e n a c co Beautifu u nders mpa n ie l”. In mo tood to d d e m r n politic ea n “A ll popu la s it is Cops A re r cr im in Basta rd a l tattoo u nder th s”. Fu r th s include e eye as er d tea rd ro well as elbows ps spider w to sy mb e b olise th s on the ose k ille d. 2008–2009 HENNA A painless alternative to tattoos, Henna or Mehendi tattooing became increasingly popular among celebrities. Madonna, Demi Moore and Gwen Stefani were among many celebrities sporting this body art.

1927 THE ZEBRA MAN Horace Ridler asked London’s leading tattoo artist, George Burchett, to tattoo his entire body with inch-wide zebra stripes. He called himself the Great Omi and was one of the most successful freaks in the history of the circus.

2010 WORDS, OWLS AND TREE’S

2012 THE DIVIDE

A growing tattoo culture has attracted Having your favourite lyrics, more fine-artists to quotes or poetry tattooed on your the industry. Pigments body was fashionable. As was the Fans decided that and equipment have use of owls or tree’s! Those born having the same advanced improving quality in the 1990s tend to be attracted tattoo as their idol and two distinct types of tattoo to these types of tattoos. was a good idea! businesses have emerged. The “tattoo Celebrities parlour”, popular with requests for such as 2011 ORIGINALITY tribal, script, fairies and animals, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Reality television shows like Miami Ink and the “tattoo art studio” offering Depp, Britney Spears, Pamela inspired more originality and people bespoke or artistic tattoos. Tattoos Anderson, David Beckham and Cheryl began bringing in their own ideas. In today are seen on celebtities Cole all contributed to a copycat tattoo 2011 there was a decline in tribal and and sports figures who play a craze that has thankfully calmed celtic tattoos and less requests for significant role in setting the pace down in recent years. cartoons such as Winnie the Pooh! of contemporary culture.

2009–2009 COPYCAT CRAZE

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NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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GOSSIP QUEEN! WRITTEN BY ROBYN MONTAGUE

an d ready You ’re ba ck to work ild bu to ming le hoping to you lp he ‘ll at frien dships th Wh en o. qu s tu sta e th su rvive r we ek en d, nat tering abou t you ug ht in th e ca g tin t ge be ware of th ey’ re su re claws of rumour , as ve th eir lea d to lu rk abou t an s on how tip me so e ar re mark . He convos. ty t to stay cle ar of ca

DON’T REPEAT THAT PACE YOURSELF Most people aren’t aware they’re gossiping until it’s past the stop sign and heading for oncoming traffic, so train you brain to see what’s coming before it hits you. Small talk and chit-chat can be something that comes naturally to some, so slow down your pace to give you time to stop, look, listen and think.

If you repeat a person’s name too often in a story you’ll find it slowly escalates into negativity. Best to monitor the amount of times you bring someone up that isn’t your partner or kid (that’s just annoying) and anything more than twice is approaching a restraining order. It’s nice to natter but no one wants to be the glue holding gossip together so re-runs are a no go.

60 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

WALK AWAY No one wants to be crowned the gossip queen so the easiest way to avoid the title is to remove yourself from the line-up. If the conversation becomes a huddle of hurtful comments, step away. Having a handy excuse to avoid becoming a new target is also sensible. A James Bond exit won’t be necessary so ‘I have to use the loo’ or ‘I need to make a call’ will probably be enough for a safe escape.

TURN THE TABLES Gossiping is about mutual agreement in most cases so by using positive comments you can divert the conversation onto something else. Disagreeing is dangerous territory but discretely changing the tone of the chat should result in others following your lead. You need to find newsworthy content that will be a fitting replacement and draw in the biggest audience. Sweet and safe is better than doom and gloom.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE It’s difficult to go cold turkey when it comes to gossip so instead turn down the heat and focus on targets that are less likely to be affected. There are magazines dedicated to celeb gossip so pick one up on on your way to the office or classroom and use it as your bible of banter. That way your friends are entertained but the claws stay clear of fresh meat.

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UK Singing Competition

Enter Now at... www.TeenStarCompetition.co.uk

WRITTEN BY SEAN KENNEDY

GET YOUR SKATES ON!

5IF 3PMMFS 8FODIFT¤ TUSFBN PG TVDDFTTGVM CPVUT XJUI UFBNT JO #SJUBJO BOE 'SBODF DPVME TFF NPSF SPMMFS EFSCZ CPVUT PO B SFHVMBS CBTJT XJUI BO VQDPNJOH SFDSFBUJPOBM MFBHVF The Portsmouth based roller derby team founded in 2010 has attracted nearly 40 members coming from all different backgrounds, including teachers, students and nurses. Roller derby involves two teams of five skaters skating clockwise around a circular track, each team has one scorer or ‘jammer’ that scores a point for each blocker of the opposing team they can pass in the ‘pack’. Rachel ‘RR Cool J’ James, 24, art student and wenches’ Jammer said: “I thoroughly enjoy every time I put my skates on. I love learning new moves, pushing my personal best or jumping that little bit higher. I think one of my proudest moments so far, after passing my minimum skills, would be competing in the 100 jam’s war between England and France.â€? With the success of film ‘Whip It’ starring Ellen Page many women in the region are coming to the sport in search of the fast paced extreme sport exclusively for women. Modern roller derby, however, is nothing like the film and moves such as close lining, tripping and 62 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

‘whips’ of offensive Blockers are not allowed in the sport, with the emphasis being placed on scoring. Tilly ‘Tess of the DerbyWheels’ Newton, club secretary and coach said: “There is no doubt that Roller Derby’s popularity had something to do with the Film ‘Whip It’.

“It sparks an interest in women from all walks of life. I think word of mouth, and the internet has had a part to play as well.� Tilly was formally the ‘freshmeat’ co-ordinator and is now coach. She has ensured that skaters can learn the sport both safely and develop their skills. RR Cool J said: “I must admit I was terrified at first, in a hall with 50 other girls and some amazing skaters. I was the first to fall and having not done much exercise beyond riding my bike I found it pretty tough. But the Wenches were really kind and encouraging and I went home buzzing (and sore).� To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

GET YOUR SKATES ON! The new recreational league that will be based at Southsea Skate Park will allow new players to learn how roller derby works and develop the skills needed, for those who may not want to play it competitively. 50% of the women who join the Wenches cannot skate to start with but due to the inclusive nature of the sport they can take part immediately in both drills and scrimmages designed to learn the derby rules and to skate. With the full contact action the sport has led to many bruises and some nasty falls but with a major emphasis being placed on safety all players wear pads, helmet and mouth guards to reduce risk of serious injury. Men have a massive role in this area, as 90% of referees in derby are male and they ensure that the game is played cleanly with all blocks being in the target zone.

for mor e information ,

why not Che ckout

Tilly said: “Our team always try to include our referees in skating drills, to keep everyone involved and so that the ref's can see Derby from an on-track perspective as well. The more you can learn about the game the better in our opinion, although we are an exception I think in the roller derby community, as a lot of referees only get to ref the scrimmages.” The role of men in the sport is mainly confined to refereeing due to it being a female only competition, but a male version of the sport known as ‘merby’ is played by such teams as the Lincolnshire Bombers. The Wenches often raise awareness of the club through flyering and merchandise sales to attract new members and possible sponsors. Elaine ‘NoPain-NoElaine’ Gardener, PR Officer said: “Portsmouth Roller Wenches is run by the skaters, for the skaters, as a non-profit organisation. This means all money raised for the league goes straight back into paying for operating expenses.”

ww w.portsmout hrollerwen che s.co

m

A CHAT WITH‌

Robert Webb comes clean on the long awaited new season of Peep Show. But just why has it taken so long?

Caught in a

WEBB INTERVIEW BY THE INTERVIEW HUB

64 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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A CHAT WITH…

It’s nearly two years since the last series and you’d be quite forgiven for thinking Peep Show had long got the chop. Fortunately, a new season is only weeks away with a ninth already commissioned for next year, so fans can breathe easy. But the question is – why have we had to wait for so long? “That’s the thing,” explains Robert Webb, famous as his PS slacker alter ego, Jeremy, “we’ve all been working on additional projects for the past few years, so it makes it much more difficult to come together to make the show”. “And you wouldn’t think it, but it’s seriously time consuming. The writers Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain – it takes them something like nine months of the year, so it eats up so much of their time. I’m not surprised they want to take a break!” With the cast and crew reassembling for a new series, what can we expect from our lovable twosome? “We’re not going to find them winning the lottery or finding inner fulfilment,” he laughs. “Jeremy intends on being a life coach with predictably dreadful results while Mark gets a job for a bathroom company and becomes a travelling salesman. Although seeing as he doesn’t drive and doesn’t have a car, has to rely on public transport and instructions from his TomTom”. “And the whole Mark and Dobby relationship is causing friction. At the end of the last series Jeremy had vowed to move out, and expectedly, he’s now not in too much of a rush to do so. And I don’t really think I’m spoiling anything by saying that he doesn’t move out because, if he did, it would really be Peep Show then, would it?” Partner in comedy David Mitchell recently claimed the ridiculously

successful Channel 4 show could theoretically go on forever, claiming there’s a lifetime of scrapes Mark and Jez can find themselves in, offering a never-ending wealth of material. “We’ve always said we’ll stay around for as long as people want us. And right now, that doesn’t seem to be changing so we’ll just carry on.” After the mediocre success of stand-up series The Mitchell and Webb Show, the pair are trying another venture away from Peep Show – this time, an attempt to prove their straight drama credentials in Our Men, a new BBC Two political satire. In the same vein as Yes, Prime Minister, they’ll portray British government attachés for the fictional country of Kazbeckiztan. It’s the first time the duo won’t solely be looking for laughs. “Well it’s not like a serious, serious drama,” Webb says. “It’s like a drama with a dollop of comedy. There’s plenty of room for laughter but it’s not the priority of this series; we’re leaning heavier on the drama”. “David plays the new British ambassador to this country, while I’m the established deputy ambassador who’s been there a while. Stories revolve around us promoting trade and negotiating deals, while meandering around human rights issues. It’s not a ‘drama’ drama, it’s a drama that’s allowed to be funny. It’s not laugh out loud”.

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“I’m already preempting those who’ll say it’s not as funny as Peep Show – I can feel the frustration already! But it’s not meant to be.” Meanwhile, Webb, a father of two, has been working on a slew of solo projects including Brit romcom The Wedding Video and an upcoming guest appearance on the new series of Dr Who. But he’s most proud of lending his tones to the characters of Winnie the Pooh and his friends in the new animated series, Tales of Friendship with Winnie the Pooh. “I grew up enjoying Winnie the Pooh books and TV shows, and always had a soft spot for Eeyore. Now my children absolutely love them, so I’m thrilled to be part of this show. What’s great about this unique programme is that it offers kids today the chance to discover Winnie the Pooh and his friends through an engaging array of pictures and words that make storytelling both enjoyable and memorable”. “And it’s kind of handy now to be able to read my kids a story for bedtime and not actually be in the room. Not that I don’t enjoy being in the room... It’s fun to do all the different characters, I loved it.” NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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YOU’RE SWEET ENOUGH! WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

DIET AND EXERCISE

JBCFUFT %BZ JT PO "SF ZPV EJBCFUJD PS UIJOL ZPV DPVME CF 8PSME % BT B NFBOT PG TQSFBEJOH UI /PWFNCFS IBWJOH CFFO JOUSPEVDFE JO F POF NFBOT ZPVS CPEZ IBT BXBSFOFTT PG UIF NBJO UZQFT PG UIF DPOEJUJPO 5ZQ FFE GPS SFHVMBS JOKFDUJPOT BO JOBCJMJUZ UP QSPEVDF JOTVMJO SFTVMUJOH JO UIF O JODMVEJOH JODSFBTFE PG JU UP DPNCBU B XJEF SBOHF PG QPTTJCMF TZNQUPNT UIF MPP 5ZQF UXP NFBOT ZPV IVOHFS PS UIJSTU BOE B GSFRVFOU OFFE UP OJQ UP DI UIF TBNF BT 5ZQF POF IBWF BO JOTVMJO EFÂŞDJFODZ XJUI TZNQUPNT NV

BANTING AND BEST No, not a firm of solicitors, but the two scientists to whom all diabetics should be grateful – Frederick Banting (whose birthday falls on World Diabetes Day itself) and Charles Best, who first discovered this most practical application of the properties of insulin in 1922, revolutionising the treatment of diabetes.

Their legacy is considerable – World Diabetes Day has centred on a different theme relating to the condition each year, from ‘diabetes and human rights’ to ‘diabetes and lifestyle’. But how best to manage it for yourself or a loved one? Read on‌

For more info p visit nhs.uk or po l into your loca GP surgery.

66 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

Yes, it may sound like something your old PE teacher or a concerned doctor might recommend, but in this case it really is true. Regular exercise and a healthy diet can help alleviate the problem following diagnosis by a GP, and regular appointments with a certified diabetes educator, who can advise you on the steps you need to take to ensure you give yourself a fighting chance of leading a fit and healthy life. Should you be referred for assessment, expect to be poked and prodded for the following: q IFJHIU XFJHIU measurements q CMPPE QSFTTVSF DIFDLT q UIZSPJE FYBNJOBUJPOT q FZF IFBMUI DIFDLT This is all merely to give you the best medical care possible should you turn out to be affected, though it’s incredibly thorough! When it comes to eating, the popular consensus points towards a high-fibre, low fat diet. Dietary treatment for the main forms of the condition having been in use since 3,500 BC in Egypt – that’s roughly before the time of the Pharaohs. So if it was good enough for them (presuming any were indeed diabetic) it should be for you! Dental hygiene is also taken very seriously – with checks every six months, as the concentration of blood sugar can make individuals more susceptible to tooth and gum disease. Common sense, really, but it does make a difference!

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WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT!

er spa ce men , Visitor s from out Whether and ext ra-terres trials. the ond bey life in ieve you bel is as not, the stu dy of UFO’s was , r eve it as now pop ular ort ed wit h new sig htin gs rep close daily. ‘Mayhe m!’ risk s a kin d d thir the of encoun ter k at a and tak es a closer loo has 1940’s phe nom ena that y... nev er really gon e awa

ARE THEY STILL BEING SEEN TODAY? You bet. There is film online of one that was reported to have been seen from a train near Portsmouth back in June, while the Telegraph devoted much space to the film and a report of some unknown bright objects that were seen over central London last Summer - just one of a number of reported sightings in the capital at that time. UFO’s aren’t back – they’ve never been away.

IT’S ALL A LOAD OF NONSENSE Is it? You probably saw Independence Day or War Of The Worlds and had a good laugh at the sheer unbelievability of it all, right? Don’t forget though, they’re just movies and no more realistic or even made with that intent in mind than Shrek or Toy Story…

SO IT ALL STARTED IN THE 1940’S? Well, yes and no. The phrase ‘flying saucer’ came into popular usage in the US during that decade following a spate of sightings reported by US newspapers. However, UFO’s themselves seem to have been recorded throughout history, with verifiable recordings dating back to the Middle Ages. Some people even claim that pictures found within some pyramids in Egypt depict extraterrestrials and their craft. 68 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

MEANING WHAT, EXACTLY?

NOT A RECENT THING THEN? Not at all. Some people (pretty smart ones at that) believe that some of the events described in the Bible can be attributed to UFO activity, including the Star of Bethlehem. As one researcher has said: no star sails across the heavens and then just hangs, motionless in one place, before departing again.

That’s it rapidly becoming a subject matter we can’t as easily dismiss as we would like to. Are we all alone? Statistically, given that there are billions of stars in the universe, how can we be? The odds that someone has worked out how to travel between them can’t be that bad – the question is, therefore, if they ARE out there, what do they want? Maybe we’ll find out soon.

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www.santyagos.co.uk

–11pm Mon–Thurs 5pm 30pm Fri & Sat 12–11. m Sun 12–10.30p

WRITTEN BY CLAIRE LINCOLN

OOOHH, AAAHHH!

COVER YOUR

EARS!

(VZ 'BXLFT Â&#x; OPU B MVDLZ DIBQ )F XBT BSSFTUFE GPS QMBOOJOH UP CMPX VQ 1BSMJBNFOU -VDLJMZ UIF (VOQPXEFS XBT OFWFS JHOJUFE TP OP CJH CBOHT PS TQBSLMZ MJHIUT UIBU OJHIU BIG BANG THEORY Fawkes however, was tortured for two days until he confessed, but he jumped from the gallows, breaking his neck, before he could be hung drawn and quartered, while still alive. This would have involved having his testicles cut off and his stomach cut open, his body cut into four ‘portions’ and the remains sent to the four corners of the Kingdom, as a warning to others who wanted to do something similar. Nice. Now that situation would be bound to cause a little nervousness or anxiety. So there it is, bonfire night, that lovely time of year when we ‘Ooooh’ and ‘Ahhhhh’ at the pretty sparkling lights in the sky. Explosives bought to ignite in our own back gardens. 70 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

The big bangs though, the noise that accompanies the sparkly lights, isn’t so much fun for a lot of people. The noise of fireworks, thunder, even a car exhaust backfiring can cause anxiety of varying levels. And some even have Phonophobia – the fear of loud noises. It’s natural to feel anxious when you hear unexpected loud noises, this is, a"er all, the body’s way of keeping us free from danger by triggering chemicals and hormones so that we can either run away or fight. Not so great if you’re at firework party and you feel like you want to run away or hit someone though! So if you’re unfortunate enough to hate this time of year, try some simple exercises to help reduce those feelings by changing the way you think.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER Take some time to really consider how you think in those situations when you feel anxiety or fear. Do you think the worst and then, well, stop the story right there, at the worst possible moment you could imagine? It may be time to continue the story through to see what the alternative ending is. It could be time to switch the horror movie ending for a ‘happily ever a"er’ ending. How can you do that? Well, by practicing your happily ever a"er and playing the movie out in your mind, past the worst bit and into the final act, where you decide the ending. You can make the ending to your story a happy one, but you must practice, practice, practice. When you’re in that situation again you can run your story, past the bit that makes your heart race, right onto the bit that gives you the warm glow from the inside out. A"er all, it’s not like you need to worry about having, your, err, privates cut off like Fawkes! But if you do have a phobia and want to get it sorted, find a qualified Hypnotherapist near you by going to www.hypnotherapists.org.uk

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WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

GUNPOWDER AND TREASON!

REMEMBER REMEMBER

THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER Gunpowder, treason and plot. And that ’s

explodes into life on 5th November – a celebration of the foiling of the failed Gunpowder Plot. The plan was for a group of dissident Catholics, led by Robert Cates by, to blow up the Houses of Parliament and assassinate King James I during Parliament ’s State Opening on the retrospectively famous day in 1605. Cates by and his fellow plot ters were motivated by what they saw as a snub to their fellow Catholics by the King, planning to install James’s daughter Princess Elizabeth (then only nine) as head of state during a revolt. But why is Fawkes so ingrained in the popular imagination?

WHAT A GUY Our anti-hero was discovered guarding 36 barrels of gunpowder (enough to blast the House Of Lords to kingdom come) during a random search of the Lords at midnight on 4th November. Following a skirmish with the sheriff of Worcester, Guy and seven other survivors of the bloody battle were sentenced to be hung, drawn, and quartered after a trial on 27th January 1606. Anti-Catholic legislation was introduced soon afterwards – the King James Bible was then completed in 1611, and most likely kept close to him in case he needed a quick kneel and a prayer to stave off any further attempts on him – a sort of ‘a prayer a day keeps the Catholics away’ approach perhaps. 72 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES Bonfire Night as we know it came about as a result of the Observance of 5th November Act of 1605, though the law was abolished by 1859. Today we celebrate by lighting the skies with an array of fireworks and building bonfires, though not to crash the House Of Lords much to David Cameron’s relief. A former tradition of building a ‘guy’ (an effigy of Fawkes which would be thrown on the bonfire) seems to have died out in recent years.

Londoners should be thankful the plot was foiled too – nobody within 330 feet of the blast would have survived had the plotters avoided detection. Every single one of Westminster Abbey’s stained glass windows would have shattered, and even if only half the gunpowder found had exploded, the House Of Lords and the surrounding area would be rubble. Despite this, Fawkes still managed to nab 30th place in a list of the 100 greatest Britons and became a folk hero in his native Yorkshire (having been born and bred in York), and had fought for the Spanish earlier in his life under the alias Guido Fawkes. Penny for the Guy?

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE COVER Join the online debate! @MAYHEMMAG

THE MAYHEM MAGAZINE

ADVERTORIAL

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folks at Johnny Starboard will do their very best to get it in for you. Inspired by art, music and nature, Johnny Starboard was born in Portsmouth and is proud to encourage local talent. We are happy to work with artists and designers to create bespoke clothing for the shop. We are currently offering local artists the opportunity to design and create a piece of art for the Portsmouth shop. If you’ve think you’ve got what it takes to show your work in a Johnny Starboard store, check out our facebook page for the competition details or simply email us.

johnnystarboard@hotmail.co.uk facebook/johnny-starboard-portsmouth 78 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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A CATCH UP WITH…

Jason

Byrne INTERVIEW BY FELICITY PATRICK

CENSORE

80 MAYHEM! | NOVEMBER 2012

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A CATCH UP WITH…

Irish Comedian, Jason Byrne, is back on the UK scene this autumn with his new tour ‘The People’s Puppeteer’. We catch up with Jason to hear more about his tour and get some backstage gossip… So what ’ s the inspiration behind ‘the People’s Puppeteer’ tour, and what can we expect?

I was on holidays in Prague and I saw this guy making puppets. I asked him if could he make me a puppet and he said he only made peoples puppets, so BANG!! I came up with the name. But that has nothing to do with the show. The show is one big bowl, I pour in props, stories, stunts, and the audience, mix it together and let the soufflé of funny rise with a nice pastry top. You’re known for delivering high-energy shows. How do you long…what ’ s your secret?

I dip apples into sugar, oranges into jam and I eat them before I go on, I then have fruit bon bon’s hidden around the stage and I suck on them as I go, if that fails I have wires connected to my testicles, they give me a slight shock if I start to fade. A lot of what you do seems to be improvised…is that real or is it cleverly crafted to make it seem more spontaneous than it actually is?

My whole show is pre written, but when I talk to someone in the crowd, that’s improvised, so it’s obvious when I’m making up stuff or not. I don’t think the audience want to pay for a work shop, so the show is well prepared.

You talk about some quite personal stuff in your sets…how does your wife feel about that? Does she

My wife thinks I’m hilarious, she cries laughing every time I tell her what I did on stage the night before. I tell her what I said, she has to sit down to catch her breath, sometimes she laughs for an hour about what I’ve said. She’s laughing now I’d say, as she thinks about what I said. stage getting ready for a show...

I’ve a hula hoop, I’m in my underpants, eating sugar apples, on a mini trampoline while hitting a ball against a wall with a tennis racket. You’ve been on the comic scene for nearly two decades now and must have seen some pretty amazing things. Can you tell us what ’s been you’re all-time best performing highlight?

My highlight was when Prince Andrew walked into a room I was playing in Edinburgh. He was wearing his golf gear as it was raining that day and golf was cancelled, so he decided to come and see me. I met him afterwards… lovely man! And your most memorable heckle?

So what do you believe is the secret behind a good stand-up?

A good wife, great kids, confidence, and to never give up! What do you think of the emerging stand-up talent? Is there anyone you think we should look out for?

“Pappy’s” check out “Pappy’s Last Show Ever” When was the last time that you laughed so hard it made you cry… what was it at?

At a show called “Pappy’s Last Show Ever” when Tom dressed as a scare crow kicked a crow across the room, and shouted “f**king crow, I hate f**king crows” humour what do you think you’d be doing with your life right now?

Smelling the inside of bins, I love to have clean bins, I would have started up a business smelling peoples bins and advising them on how to get their bin cleaned. Thank God I do comedy. Finally, from being in the biz for a number of years, what golden nuggets of advice can you pass onto any aspiring comedians?

Work hard, listen to your punters, never take advise from another comic, so, don’t read this.

“I hope you dye” shouted at me in a denim factory corporate gig.

catch Jason Byrne in Southampton on the 8th November! Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

NOVEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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AS M U IST MEN M R CH CH – 5P Y N N LU OO YDA 12N VER .95 E 15 £

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