Mayhem! Magazine - Issue 10 (September 2012)

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ISSUE 10

THE #1 FREE

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

A catch up with…

Ray Winstone IONAL INTERNATIKE A L ‘ TALK AY PIRATE’ D

WIN TICKETS T

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…politics and popularity!

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Mayhem! Meets…

PIC M Y L A R A P DREAMS

SEPTEMBER 2011 || SHOTGUN CELEBS | SPORTS | MUSIC | FILM | BEAUTY | FASHION | CULTURE | FOOD HUMOUR

Don’t forget to pick up your next FREE copy of Mayhem! Magazine, out October 1st

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TUESDAY 20TH NOVEMBER 2012 7.30PM Clearly rising towards a new career peak, 2012 is shaping up to be a big year for the band. Having already sold out a UK tour in January in support of their single ‘Borders’, Feeder are gearing up for the release of their eighth album ‘Generation Freakshow’, out 23rd April. The response to the new songs at recent live shows has signalled great things for the album, as has the 500,000 views on YouTube for the ‘Borders’ video.

‘Generation Freakshow’ takes the heavier elements of Feeder’s previous album ‘Renegades’ and marries it to the anthemic rock of their much-loved hits. In their career, which spans over two decades, the band have racked up over 25 hit singles, sold in excess of five million records, and released a double platinum singles collection.

Simply email us with the word ‘FEEDER’ to WIN SUBMIT YOURS BY 30TH SEPTEMBER TO: WIN@MAYHEMMAGAZINE.CO.UK WITH ‘FEEDER’ AS THE SUBJECT. WE’LL ANNOUNCE THE WINNING ENTRY BY 10TH OCTOBER. MAKE SURE YOU GIVE US YOUR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER SO WE CAN CONTACT THE WINNER. 4

MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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WORD FROM THE TOP!

Founder/Director Daniel Tidbury Editor Mia Habens Assistant Editor Daniel Tidbury Studio Manager Felicity Patrick Graphic Design Tidbury Media Staff Writers Edward Couzens-Lake Chris Morley Contributing Writers Kelly Wickham Sophie Tsimpris Robyn Montague Tory Nairn Tori Harris Felicity Jones Chris Walsh Emma Reid Naomi Couper Mia Habens Sam Crompton Intern Sophie Tsimpris Nightlife Paparazzi Mick Wythe Daniel Tidbury Promotions Felicity Patrick Daniel Tidbury Jennifer Le Roux Sales/Marketing Simone Sarsfield Jennifer Le Roux Distribution Jamie Pay Jamie Matthews Publisher Tidbury Media

023 9229 4408 hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk The Clock Tower, 44 Castle Rd, PO5 3DE www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk Mayhem! is a free lifestyle magazine dedicated to keeping you up to date with the latest trends, fashions and interviews. Our monthly instalments are available to pick up from the countless distribution points scattered across the city and surrounding areas at the beginning of each month. © Copyright 2012 All rights reserved Tidbury Media

EDITOR’S

LETTER Well the holidays are officially over and it’s time to get back to school, college, university or work…bummer! Here at Mayhem! we’re continuing our mission to brighten up each and every month with another jam-packed issue. We’re celebrating our fantastic Olympic year with a special rundown of the games, plus looking forward to the Paralympics and hopefully another record breaking year for Team GB. We keep up our celebrity exclusives with interviews from cute comedian Jack Whitehall, plus we find out all the latest from Brit blockbuster The Sweeney’s very own cockney geezer, Ray Winstone. For all you music fans out there, we have another bumper issue with interviews from Britain’s answer to Rhianna, Rita Ora – plus we catch up with living legend Midge Ure. And if none of that float’s your Black Pearl, there is always a look at ‘International Talk Like a Pirate Day’…Arrr! Keep an eye out for our next issue and join us as we celebrate our first birthday!

Enjoy!

Mia Habens

@MAYHEMMAG

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

| Editor

THE MAYHEM MAGAZINE SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

5

WHAT’S INSIDE

Back to skool!

4PECIAL

08 Holidays are over…

32 Jennifer Pinches chats…

52 Come on Eileen!

10 Bag a bargain!

34 Paralympic dreams

54 Live and Unsigned 2012

12 Monday motivation

36 September book releases

58 Mayhem! Meets… Ultravox

20 Ray of inspiration

39 How to… pick up the ladies

60 Politics and popularity…

22 London Design Fest!

40 ‘Talk like a pirate’ day!

64 The big ‘C’... continued

24 The art of willpower

42 How to… not go psycho!

66 Animal instincts

26 Handbag must-haves

44 One to one with… Rita Ora

70 Easy ways to make money

28 Late summer shopping

48 Horrific highland Haggis

72 Moments from disaster!

30 Best of British!

50 Funny album covers

Plus loads more!

LOOK OUT FOR YOUR MATES AT WITH OUR MAYHEM! MOMENTS... ON PAGES 76-79

page 20

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MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

pag e 44

page 52

p a g e 60

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KEEP UP TO DATE!

What

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are tweeting:

@walflowerpotter “Thanks for a brilliant issue of @ mayhemmag :D”

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@Blew4ever “Reading @ mayhemmag at Southsea bandstand in the sun listening to cool tunes.”

Mayhem! ’s been getting around this summer and even took a wander up Mount Snowdon! Thanks @lozza_p for sending us this picture! Check out page 58 for more fantastic photos and where to send yours!

@jessiejangels “Just reading this @ JessieJ interview in @mayhemmag :)”

Mayhem! Ten Ticket giveaway! This month we are giving away ten pairs of tickets for shows at The Kings

Send us a tweet and yours could appear in the next issue!

Theatre between October and December! Including Grease, Dara O’ Briain, That ’ll Be The Day, House of Burlesque, Sherlock Holmes, Kate Rus by, Ladyboys

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The

BIG Question: In honour of the Olympics, we asked you to share your favourite moment of the Olympics! Here’s what some you had to say:

Darren Gamblen “I loved the whole thing!” Rachel Hayler “My favourite part was watching Jessica Ennis storming the Heptathlon. She was on fine form, and I gathered with a crowd of friends to watch her win. She was fantastic, a prime example of British talent!.” Ree Dawes “I’m looking forward to the paralympics more, because they’re incredible and inspiring human beings who stop at nothing and the whole nation should be proud of them” Tom ‘Stella’ Wright “Easy! It was Boris dancing to the Spice Girls”

SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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BACK TO THE GRIND!

HOLIDAYS ARE OVER! WRITTEN BY KELLY WICKHAM

…S O G E T BACK TO WORK!

Remember when you were a kid and going back to school was a love/hate time? Hating the fact that summer holidays had finished and you couldn’t hang out with your friends from dawn to dusk every day; climbing trees; playing knock down ginger and having sleep overs. The love side was the excitement of a brand new term, bringing with it new friends, new teachers and new books to cover with exciting paper or sticky back plastic. Your mum took you shopping for new school shoes and a new pencil case and it was all very exciting and each year you chose a more grown up rucksack or pen set. Nowadays, sadly it’s the art of going back to work. Having a week off work and jet setting off for a stunning city holiday or relaxing beach break starts as a chore from the moment you arrive at work on your last day before your timeout begins. You struggle to clear down as much work as you can to minimize the amount of work you come back to. You train the colleagues supposedly taking on your graft while you’re away and listen to the constant “you’re so lucky to be getting away!”

year It ’s that time of ck ag ain, time to pa m, away the sun crea fold up the picnic blank et s an d say mmer g oodbye to the su are holidays an d prep ork! to g o back to w

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MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

Once 5pm hits, work is a distant memory, you rush home, pack those last minute bits and pieces and head off to the airport for a weeks’ vacation. Admittedly, unless you’re one of those people who carry a BlackBerry for work emails or an iPad to finish up Excel spreadsheets on the go, then work has now become something you no longer care about, it’s all about converting the native currency back to sterling and working out how much this pint of beer is costing you, although, who cares because you’re on your hols! Returning home signifies the start of setting an alarm for stupid o’clock in the morning, preparing packed lunches and sifting through a mountain of emails which arrived when you were sunning yourself. Are there any exciting parts to going back to work? Is there the prospect of buying a new pencil tin and hoping it makes everything less daunting or will you just hear “while you were off we found this….” Welcome Back! To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

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Backpack by Herschel has been constructed in Herschel’s signature coated cotton-poly fabric. The details include: top handle, flap closure, front pouch pocket, brand tab, large main compartment, lined laptop pocket and contoured shoulder straps. ASOS.COM

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BILLABONG ANTAKO BACKPACK

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PAUL FRANK TEAL BLUE SHOULDER MESSENGER Make an entrance with this striking design by Paul Frank. His famous monkey logo on a classic messenger bag gives a great splash of colour to any dull day back to the office or back to class. GIFTEDPENGUIN.CO.UK

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MELBOURNE – SATCHEL This khaki satchel from Animal is a timeless classic for anytime you need to carry your essentials. The aztec bird emblem is right on trend this season and its simple design makes it easy to bung in all you need this September. The Melbourne men’s Animal satchel in Stalk Green features heavy, washed canvas and a distressed, branded eagle crest for a vintage, military look.

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NORTHFACE BOREALIS BACKPACK Cool colours and packed with space, undo the front zip to reveal an array of handy pockets. The North Face Borealis is a multi-purpose 15” laptop compatible backpack with a 29 litre capacity boosted by an exterior bungee cord stash net. UK.THENORTHFACE.COM SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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WRITTEN BY ROBYN MONTAGUE

SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER!

MONDAY MAYHEM!

be We all struggle to nday Mo t ou ab enthusias tic -hour 24 a s ke ta morning . It om re boot to switch fr de which mo rk weekend to wo down. ut sh to caus es sys tems with y dl ien Becoming overfr shared a is on the snooze butt speed to t, bu Monday melt down ed vis de ’ve up the proces s, we s! ep st l some simple surviva

SWEAT IT OUT PREPARE FOR THE WORST Prepare for memory malfunction or a fluctuation in your ability to find things, so get everything ready on Sunday when you’re still semi-conscious. Avoid extreme tiredness and hit the sack an hour earlier than usual to make up for valuable sleep time lost while partying! Seven hours is the recommended dose for the average Joe.

Exercise is known for releasing endorphins which were probably used up during your wild weekend. Building a sweat will heighten motivation – taking the misery out of Monday. Start by stretching followed by five minutes of light exercise. A short sprint around your garden, or dancing in your bedroom to the breakfast show should do the trick. Not only will it wake you up but it’ll help get you in shape for next weekend!

12 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

GET YOUR DRINK ON Keeping hydrated has many benefits. It’s good for your skin, focus and can help restore the moisture lost during impressive running man and funky chicken demonstrations… yeah we saw you! Drinking plenty of water can also keep your mind off any midday munchies!

PUT YOUR FEET UP

DON’T PUT IT OFF

Regardless of what you’re doing, make time to take five minutes out to relax and take a breath. Our biorhythms work every 90 minutes, which means if you push too hard you’ll break under pressure. If you arrange timeouts to fit your routine, it won’t be just another manic Monday.

Putting off things or not achieving daily targets will only give you more to dread for tomorrow. So by getting started, your motivation will grow and your focus on the task in hand will get you through the day. This way Monday can be the beginning of a new week, rather than the end of two days.

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CATCH UP WITH RAY WINSTONE…

14 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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INTERVIEW BY THE INTERVIEW HUB

CATCH UP WITH RAY WINSTONE…

O F I N S P I R AT I O N

If ever a role was set up for Ray Winstone, it was as Jack Regan in the modern remake of ‘The Sweeney’... and it has been. So, we’ll marvel at the brash, bullish cockney completeness that will greet us on its release on 12th September... won’t we? “It felt like the right thing to do at the right time,” begins a wistful Winstone. “You make good decisions when it comes to film roles, and bad decisions. I’ve been a bit more selective of late, for good reason, but sometimes something just slots into place and you know you have to go for it. This was one of those times – it’s an awesome picture with a great cast, and it’s the kind of thing that suits me down to the ground.” Winstone takes the role of the late and rather more considered John Thaw, a bastion of righteousness against a gloomy backdrop of 1970s spit ‘n’ sawdust capital crime. The fact he’s stepping into the shoes of such an icon doesn’t pass him by.

“Ben’s a top guy with real ambition and incredible talent across various fields. It’s been a great experience working alongside him, and I’m sure he’s said the same about me!” Winstone laughs. Of course, in the last couple of years it’s been another Winstone who has grabbed most of the bright lights – Ray’s daughter Jaime, who as well as starring alongside her father in Elfie Hopkins, has also been embarking PO TPMP çMNJOH QSPKFDUT BT CPUI BO actor and producer, as has her sister Lois. Ray must be proud?

“John was an incredible actor, so versatile and absolutely unrelenting. It’s a tough ask to fill his shoes, and I think all I can do is match his performance. I don’t think you can better what he did.”

“I think these kids today are way ahead of where we were in art, and when I was starting out I knew nothing about film or how film worked technically or anything else. But these kids are primed, they’re ready for that and they know about it. So they’re in front of us and that’s how it should be. It should be like that.”

Also starring in ‘The Sweeney’ remake is Ben Drew, AKA Plan B, whose EFCVU NBKPS BDUJOH SPMF IBT BUUSBDUFE arguably more attention than Winstone’s return to the type of gritty role that we most associate him with.

“It’s a creative family and everyone wants to go out and do their own thing, which is great. Sometimes that has come to the fore and I’ve disagreed on what direction they should maybe be taking. But we all have our rows, we all

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have our moments. And if it’s worth fighting for then you fight for it.” Speaking of fighting, how much of Ray’s tough guy persona translates into actions away from the cameras? “Not much, really,” he laughs. “That’s just the parts I’ve played. I guess too I give the impression I’m pretty confident, but I’m not really. I like working and I’m lucky enough to do a job I like doing. I don’t need to be anyone else when the cameras are off; I know how lucky I am, trust me.” “Sure, you need to have a sense of humour about the industry, particularly if you venture over to LA. It’s ‘la la land’ over there, but I love going there regardless. You get looked after beautifully; I’ve got lots of mates there from home who are living there and I like a lot of Yanks too. “But give me London and the UK any day.” The remake of ‘The Sweeney’, starring Ray Winstone, Ben Drew, Damian Lewis, Hayley Atwell and Steven Mackintosh is out on 12th September. SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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BACK TO WORK WITH T.M. LEWIN‌

Ease back into the office this autumn with a stylish new wardrobe from T.M. LEWIN. The range includes corporate and casual wear for both men and women. Why not check out the outlet store in Gunwharf Quays* for a back-to-work bargain. *T.M Lewin in Gunwharf Quays is an Outlet Store and may not hold the items shown. Visit WWW.TMLEWIN.CO.UK for more information and styles available.

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SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

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BACK TO WORK WITH T.M. LEWIN…

18 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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ART ATTACK The Festival mainly focuses on art and design of most disciplines and various applications and styles of fashion, as well as staging annual Landmark Projects – architectural commissions allowing artists to experiment with both form and materials, an idea which will this year see the unveiling of the ‘BE Open Sound Portal’ in Trafalgar Square, an experiment in and celebration of ‘ the design you can’t see’, an environment created purely by sound in the middle of one of the capital’s busiest and most aurally chaotic spaces. Sound artists and musicians involved promise a range of different natural sounds and styles of music for interested visitors and commuters – those taking part include electronic music innovator Squarepusher (active since 1996, when he released his dĂŠbut album ‘Feed Me Weird Things’, he released his latest record ‘Ufabulum’ in May of this year) and CoH, a Swedish-based Russian sound artist who has been recording since 1998’s Enter Tinnitus for more on both see also warp.net/records/squarepusher and post-pop.org. Other Projects announced for this year include Keiji Matsuda’s Prism, a vast digital ‘living patchwork’ using data screens to create an electronically sculptured lantern, which will be housed in the Ceramics Gallery of the Victoria and Albert Museum. The artist himself says of his work: “The installation is an investigation into the virtual life of the city, and our own often ambiguous relationship with the data that controls our lives.â€?

CREATING AN AUDIENCE Visitor numbers have increased year on year, with international appeal contributing to the intrigue – London Mayor Boris Johnson is also a fan, saying: “From our sleek and fabulous New Bus for London to the iconic golden beauty of the Olympic torch, the design industry is a crucial part of London’s vibrancy as well as its success and future prosperity. That is why I am delighted to be backing the London Design Festival, which is an unrivalled showcase of some of the best creative ideas from the UK and around the world.� Indeed, the Mayoral office is one of the festival’s biggest supporters alongside the Arts Council of England, encouraging creative types from art and design students to the world’s leading names across many fields to descend upon our fair capital city. And remember, creativity is open to all, so why not visit and have a go for yourself, or just see how it’s done? Information on the Festival can be found at londondesignfestival.com so feel free to broaden your mind!

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410/403&% #: MAGAZINE

THE ART OF WILLPOWER!

WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

WAYS TO GET YOUR

WILLPOWER BACK ON TRACK! . ppa in your left hand desk with a warm cu ft ut s…pit iful. Your le Krispy Kreme doughn lder ou sh T IT ! your right shoulder screams EA ime on ent on the lips, lif et hymns quiet ly, ‘mom d the ng round smiling an mi co e’s sh h Oh !’ ps the hi ughnut ?” “would you like a do inevitable happens,

24 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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THE ART OF WILLPOWER!

This is where so many people fall down‌.you battle with your willpower as your hand hovers over the glazed sprinkled jam filled calorific doughnut‌ who will come up trumps? Mayhem! are here to equip you with the means to combat your sweet tooth tendencies!

IMAGE It’s September folks and you’ve done so well to resist all summer saving that bikini body for the beach, and now we’ve spent that last few weeks starring at top athletes showing off their abs to the world. The best motivation is a picture of some hottie, lets say Jessica Ennis or Tom Daley posing on the beach. If that doesn’t put you off claiming the last Krispy Kreme, I don’t know what will!

COOKING Cooking in bulk is a great way to sustain your will power as it requires a consistent food group and gives no room for you to choose what you want and therefore no margin for temptation. However, nobody can eat the same food every day unless you have the taste buds of a dog‌so cook two–three different meals and alternate. Even simple decisions such as butter or low-cal oil drains your will-power as you’re suffering from decision fatigue leaving you weaker for the day ahead, so cut out the little things for a long term gain.

EXERCISE Similarly to cooking, going on the same 7am, five mile run every morning builds inner strength and helps you feel better about resisting temptations. Lying in bed giving yourself an extra five minutes before the slog around the park, will drain ZPV PG BOZ XJMM UP HFU VQ TP KVNQ VQ BOE TIBLF JU PVU 3PVUJOF JT DSVDJBM TP TUJDL UP your gym 3 times a week, but keep it different each time so Monday – cross train, Wednesday – Pilates and a ‘causal’ Circuit train on Fridays‌.and relax.

TRAIN Like how you’d train your bicep you can train your will power. Train yourself to say ‘no’, your will power will get stronger as you train it. Research into selfcontrol shows that if you exercise discipline to meet one goal, the next will be a walk in the park! It is important to set realistic tasks. New Year resolutions that entail quitting smoking, cutting out chocolate and getting down the gym three times a week are set up to fail. Journal of Clinical Psychology found that by the end of January, a third of New Year resolutions had failed and soon more will topple over. So set yourself manageable tasks and slowly but surely your will power will increase and become a strong muscle against those nasty nibbles.

SUBSTITUTE A great way to beat the sugar addiction is to find a supplement. The tendency UP QJDL BU GPPET JT QBSUJDVMBSMZ GFWFSFOU XJUI PïDF CBTFE KPCT TP SBJTJOT OVUT or grapes are a great snack to have beside your work place. They’re also great to have on the go so there’s no excuse. Dried mango and dried banana both taste very similar to sweets, so a hand full of these will fulfil your munchies and keep your inner sugar monster at bay.

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

25

FOR THE GIRLS!

)BOECBH WRITTEN BY TORI HARRIS

MUST HAVES!

Whether it ’s a spontaneous drink after work or college, a sudden meeting with the boss or bumping into an old friend, it ’s always good to feel good and look fresh. Here’s the top products that will refresh your look in seconds and slip easily into your handbag – without taking up too much space!

CHARLES WORTHINGTON FRONT ROW REVIVE AND REFRESH DRY SHAMPOO MINI Nothing compares to dry shampoo in terms of its ability to revitalise your hair, and Charles Worthington offer miniatures that are the perfect size for your handbag in both blonde and brunette shades. Whether you need to freshen up your fringe or your hair is lacking in volume here’s what to do: part the hair and spray the roots from approx 15cm away and then lightly rub with your fingers. For extra body tip your head forwards and throw your hair over before spraying liberally throughout.

BOBBI BROWN CREAMY LIP AND CHEEK COLOUR £12.50 This little tube of colour from Bobbi Brown is perfectly sized to slip into your handbag and – even better – it covers both lips and cheeks, meaning you don’t need to carry two products! Squeeze a little colour onto your finger and lightly pat into your cheeks for natural blush and for lips rub a little colour in and smooth for a beautiful finish.

YVES SAINT LAURENT NAIL TOUCH SUMMER £20.50 This brilliant product by YSL is perfect for touching up nails quickly. A small pen like container which, with a click, fills the brush with a beautiful pearlised nail polish which you simply brush across your nails and wait to dry!

BOURJOIS KOHL AND CONTOUR SHADOW AND LIGHT £5.49

TED BAKER BUTTERFLY WINGS BODY SPRAY £2.50 Finally as you rush off to where ever your day has taken you don’t forget a quick freshen up with a spritz of fragrance. This Ted Baker miniature is a great handbag size and refreshing sent and a bargain at £2.50. 26 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

This double-ended pencil from Bourjois comes in a variety of colours to create an array of effects. Perfect for transforming your day makeup into an evening look. The lighter shade illuminates and opens up your eyes and the darker end is used to sculpt and define the eye. Whether it is classic black smokey or warm autumn bronze you are going for there are five different colour options to choose from and it slips discreetly into your handbag – no bigger then a pen! To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

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SUMMER SPENDING!

8JUI TVNNFSUJNF RVJDLMZ XSBQQJOH VQ TIPQT BSF CSJOHJOH VT HSFBU TBMFT UP USZ BOE DMFBS UIF SBJMT SFBEZ GPS BVUVNO 8JUI UIBU JO NJOE .BZIFN JT PO IBOE XJUI UIF CFTU QMBDFT UP ªMM ZPVS XBSESPCF The economic crunch means there are less people travelling abroad this summer, so inevitably there is enormous reliance on Britain’s weather for retail shops to sell their summer stock. However, the consistently bleak summer weather has put a dampener on retail figures. With retail giants such as M&S struggling to reach high sales figures, it comes as no surprise that other shops have been struggling even with the boost of the Olympics and are bringing panic sales to try and shift their summer stock across the high street and online. Here’s a few places to start...

SOUTHSEA

FAREHAM

The best place to avoid the retail giants is Albert Road and Marmion Road. With vintage and classic clothing, it’s easy to get a small taste of Camden. Shops include Dress Code, Hideout and Style In The City.

Bringing a wide range of small and large retail shops all holding sales full of end-of-summer fashion. Classics such as Monsoon to Store Twenty One, this shopping centre is a must visit for the coming sales.

CHICHESTER

GUNWHARF QUAYS

Chichester holds some fabulous outlet stores to bring you the taste of high street and designer. With shops including Laura Ashley and Jacques Vert you are bound to find a bargain for the next wedding of the season.

Luxury shopping by the sea with over 90 outlets including Ralph Lauren, Ted Baker and Hugo Boss, they are constantly springing up fabulous offers so the end-of-summer sale is a must see event.

.uk may hemmag azin e.co o@ ll he on us l ai w hy not em hot spot s! wit h your shopping 28 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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OLYMPICS RUNDOWN!

WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

ARTICLE SPONSORED BY

Portsmouth Watersports Centre WWW.PORTSMOUTHWATERSORTS.COM

023 9266 3873

4BEMZ GPS NZ GFMMPX BSNDIBJS ON YOUR MARKS‌ the Danny Boyle-directed 0MZNQJBOT UIF DFMFCSBUJPO PG From opening ceremony on 27th July (the TQPSU BOE BMM UIJOHT #SJUJTI Queen as a rather unlikely Bond girl among its many highlights) to the UIBU XBT UIF (BNFT JT winding down ‘ Symphony Of British closing pageant on 12th August, BU BO FOE #VU CFGPSF ZPV Music’ the London Games was as much IFBWF ZPVSTFMG VQ GSPN UIF about the spectacle as the sport, and rightly so – we were the only country TPGB BOE UISPX ZPVS 5FBN to have at least one competitor in (# HFBS JO UIF DVQCPBSE MFU every available sport, 554 athletes making up Team GB. .BZIFN ÂŞSF UIF TUBSUJOH With 302 events in 26 sports, viewers HVO PODF BHBJO BT XF SFMJWF were spoilt for choice as the BBC went for broke in its coverage – with #PMU #PSJT #POE BOE NPSF newspapers across the board also into patriotic mode for a DVF UIF ÂŁ$IBSJPUT 0G 'JSF¤ getting refreshing change and even news UIFNF JG ZPV XJMM ˜ bulletins putting the rest of the world 30 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

on hold as even the likes of the usually taciturn Huw Edwards were reduced to the same level as the cheering crowds who seemed to have gone down with Olympics fever. And why wouldn’t they? Our proud nation’s athletes helped themselves to 65 medals in all, the country’s highest Olympic total since 1908 (with that year’s Games also coincidentally held in London). 29 golds, 17 silver medals and 19 bronzes made up that total, among them cyclist (and possible Slade fan, going by those sideburns) Bradley Wiggins, heptathlete Jessica Ennis and cyclist Chris Hoy, who have hopefully inspired commuters bored of Tube journeys to jump on their bikes and beat congestion, with mental commentary on their feats optional.

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OLYMPICS RUNDOWN!

COMEDY

GOLD

We couldn’t celebrate the Games without handing out some medals for clowning around, so after much deliberation among our panel of judges we’ve plumped for… Boris Johnson deservedly takes gold for being both a bit of a clown at heart and a good sport. Who can forget his zip-wire stunt gone wrong, as well as his call for the return of pankraton ( an ancient Olympic hybrid of boxing and wrestling with no rules whatsoever save for no biting or eye-gouging)- perhaps we’ll see him face off against David Cameron for the Tory Party leadership. Seconds out!

It was also a Games of personal and national triumph elsewhere, as American swimmer Michael Phelps won a 22nd career medal, making him the mostdecorated competitor in history, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt retained all three sprinting golds across consecutive Olympics, and the Islamic world broke new ground as Saudi Arabia, Brunei, and Qatar all sent female representatives for the first time in their National Olympic Committee history, meaning that all sports had at least one female entrant for the first time in history, with ‘girl power’ going beyond the Spice Girls appearance at the closing ceremony (check out London Mayor Boris Johnson’s moves on Youtube) – women’s boxing also making its maiden appearance.

A SPOT OF CULTURE London’s Cultural Olympiad (a celebration of the arts, running alongside the sport) also gave us plenty to cheer – the slightly batty ‘A ll The Bells’, by artist Martin Creed, no doubt driving millions of Londoners insane at 8.12am on the morning of the opening ceremony. The instructions were simple – all available bells to be rung as quickly and loudly as possible within three minutes, Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt perhaps a little too enthusiastic, as television cameras captured the moment his bell’s handle flew off. Also worthy of mentions – the 20x12 (composers invited to submit works 12 minutes in length, whittled down to a short-list of 20), the FilmNation short films project and the World Shakespeare Festival.

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

BBC basketball commentator Mike Carlson getting hit by a ball during the men’s quarter-final between Argentina and Brazil. After a brief rant following his head-on meeting, he carries on like a trooper. Brilliant. Usain Bolt’s attempts at photography after finishing a race. If you can’t have a bit of fun after trouncing all-comers, when can you, eh? Discus champion Robert Harting, draped in a German flag, celebrating his win with a spot of hurdling, suggesting that if one sport just isn’t enough there’s no harm in trying something else once in a while. Mr Bean’s Chariots of Fire spoof from the opening ceremony. Vangelis has nothing on this! SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

31

r e f i n n Je LOCAL OLYMPIC TALENT‌

CH RIS INT ERVIE W BY

WA LS H

PINCHES

T T LI KE MOS OBAB LY A LO NC HE S IS PR UT H SO E TH IN JE NN IF ER PI -O LD , BORN IN G TO TH E 18 YE AR AN D LI ST EN TE EN AG ER S. TO PART IE S J’ . T OU G IN GO AN D ‘J ES SI E ’ ER KN UL EAST, LI KE S TON FA SPEN T CLUB’, ‘N EW ST A JU M S NE HA CI S, IEND ‘2 DOOR I TO HER FR NCHES, JENN BU T MIS S PI T ES GG BI E ON TH TH E SU M M ER A GYM NAST IN AB LE – AS STAG E IM AG ON 2012 ND LO E AT TH FOR TE AM GB OK A TO ! M HE AY M OLYM PI CS – R BU SY ES FROM HE FE W M IN UT AT‌ CH A R FO SC HE DU LE

YOU MUST HAVE PUT IN A LOT OF WORK TO MAKE TEAM GB, WHAT DO YOU DO TO RELAX?

HOW DID YOU GET STARTED WITH GYMNASTICS?

I started gym when I was six because I had too much energy, didn’t want to do ballet any more and had seen gymnastics as a little clip on Teletubbies and thought it looked really fun! I was ‘spotted’ by the Head Coach of Fromeside Gymnastics Club at the time, Liz Kincaid. She’s now at The Academy and is Coach to fellow Team GB and 2008 and 2012 Olympics gymnast Imogen Cairns. I gradually increased my hours as I got better and success built up too! I was British Champion at the Level 3 National Championships by age 10. WHAT’S THE MOST FUN THING ABOUT BEING IN TEAM GB?

Being part of a group of people who understand your lifestyle and are really easy to get along with, as they know all about training, and everything already is good. It’s even better being part of a huge team of excellence, the greatest team ever (The British Women’s Gymnastics team came sixth, the best result since 1928, and the British Men’s Gymnastics team won bronze). 32 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

I surf the internet, shop, listen to my dad and brothers play piano, watch films with my boyfriend and sleep! We support each other and always smile and say ‘hi’ when we meet other Team GB athletes somewhere, no matter what sport. They are so friendly as well as successful – no matter what medals any of us win, we are part of one awesome team.

HAVE YOU GOT ANY GOSSIP FROM THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE?

Not really, sorry. The queue for McDonald’s got bigger and bigger as games were nearing their end though! DID YOU GO TO ANY COOL , SECRET PARTIES?

Secret? No. Cool? Yes. One of the perks of being an Olympian, I guess. Yeah. Stress fracture, broken my ankle, After all the training we can finally wrist and finger. I’ve lost my entire big celebrate and have a good time and toe nail by landing with my other foot people want to help us do that, so on the beam, which was very painful. we’ve been to VIP exclusive clubs Oh, and I over extended my knee in in London, been given free drinks Australia. All of them seriously and food everywhere, and went to BÊFDUFE NZ USBJOJOH CVU JOKVSZ JT a great Jessie J concert too (Jenni part of sport! No pain, no game. and some of her fellow gymnasts Also, we have amazing medical staff had their photo taken with Jessie J to put us back to full fitness and they afterwards). Omega House and Shoreditch House were the best. keep on top of continuous little JOKVSJFT * WF IBE 'PS FYBNQMF EVSJOH I’m so grateful for all the perks! I got my nails painted at the Olympic the pre-camp before the Olympics I Village and they look amazing too had a twisted ankle, rib pain, and an – see the photo I posted on Twitter! extremely tight and sore back. HAVE YOU HAD ANY NASTY INJURIES?

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LOCAL OLYMPIC TALENT… ARE YOU AIMING TO COMPETE AT THE RIO 2016 OLYMPICS?

No, I’m retiring. Although that sounds silly aged 18, gymnastics is a young sport and my body and mind have been put through 12 years of training already. That’s two thirds of my life and I want to do other things now! My goal was always to reach and compete in an Olympic games for my country and now I’ve done that! My dreams have come true and I can go out on the biggest high possible. It was extra special because it was a home Games and my final performance on the vault was my best score ever with 14.833 (Judging starts with a 10.0, adding marks for difficult moves, and subtracting for any mistakes. Anywhere near a 15.0 is Olympic standard). HAVE YOU GOT ANY ALTERNATIVE PLANS? WE HEAR YOU’RE LOOKING TO DO SOME ACTING.

Yeah, through gymnastics I’ve had some great opportunities to meet some people in the acting XPSME BOE * EP SFBMMZ FOKPZ

INTERVIEW SPONSORED BY

Portsmouth Watersports Centre

that sort of thing, so if any work can come from that I’d be thrilled. I also love doing presenting and commentary, which I had a taster of when I previewed some of the apparatus finals with Matt Baker for the BBC’s coverage of the Olympic Gymnastics. YOU DID THIS WEIRD SIGN TO THE CAMERAS AT THE LONDON 2012 OLYMPICS, WHAT ’ S THAT ALL ABOUT?

Nerdfighters, an American website created by YouTube stars John and Hank Green, a.k.a the vlogbrothers, have this hand signal which means ‘Don’t Forget To Be Awesome’. It’s a really positive message about being yourself and being happy when you’ve put in your best effort, and how that’s awesome. It’s a really friendly and accepting online community, which fits in with the Olympic values of respect and friendship too, so that’s what that was!

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WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORELY

PHOTO CREDIT CHANNEL 4

AND DON’T FORGET‌

PARALYMPIC

DREAMS

ARTICLE SPONSORED BY

Portsmouth Watersports Centre

#FUXFFO UI "VHVTU BOE UI 4FQUFNCFS EJTBCMFE BUIMFUFT XJMM HFU UIF DIBODF UP UBTUF HMPSZ JO UIF 1BSBMZNQJD (BNFT XJUI UIJT ZFBS CFJOH UIF ÂŞSTU UJNF -POEPO IBT QMBZFE IPTU XJUI NFOUBMMZ BT XFMM BT QIZTJDBMMZ EJTBCMFE DPNQFUJUPST BMMPXFE UP UBLF QBSU GPS UIF ÂŞSTU UJNF TJODF UIF JOBVHVSBM 1BSBMZNQJDT PG

20 sports will be open to competitors, from archery to wheelchair tennis, with Channel Four broadcasting around 150 hours of television coverage from opening ceremony to closing – so no excuse not to give our Paralympians as much support as their able-bodied counterparts! And Portsmouth has its own special Paralympian part to play – the city will host its own ‘Flame Festival’ in Guildhall Square’s specially created ‘Live Site’ to celebrate the Paralympic Torch Relay, which will end at Stoke Mandeville, spiritual home of the Paralympic movement. A lantern procession, live music and sports demonstrations will be among the attractions – to get involved email: london2012@portsmouthcc.gov.uk.

34 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

But that’s not all, as University of Portsmouth student Lauren Steadman, 19, has been selected for Team GB’s swimming squad at the Games. Miss Steadman, a Psychology student and sports scholar, made her Paralympic dÊbut at the 2008 Beijing Games aged only sixteen, and has had to juggle her studies and sporting career. This year her focus will be on freestyle events and the swimming relay after recently recovering from a hand injury. She will prepare for the Games at British Swimming’s training camp in Mallorca, with the University’s Head of Sport and Recreation, Paul Tilley, on record as praising her as an asset to the University and pledging the institution’s full TVQQPSU UISPVHIPVU IFS KPVSOFZ Recent University graduate Daniel Bentley, a former Graphic Design student, will also be competing in boccia, in which he is currently ranked top of the world having been part of the team which took home the gold medal in #FJKJOH JO )F IBT CFFO TFMFDUFE GPS the men’s singles this time out, alongside fellow former Portsmouth student Cecilia Turk competing for our women’s side, rated as one of the best players of the game in the women’s tournament. Wheelchair rugby team member Ross Morrison, a former Portsmouth Grammar School boy, rounds off our parade of Portsmouth Paralympianshaving been a part of the sides which XFOU UP UIF "UIFOT BOE #FJKJOH 2008 Paralympics and narrowly missing out on medals, he is keen to put that right this year having spent many an afternoon out on the school field in preparation for his future career.

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Portsmouth careers advice for everyone

'# 2,0 /&'+( 1$ ,+)2 /-$ / ! # ! "(. Ă? 3 Ă›H L Ă? 0 I ÄŽ ( ĂœI Ă›H L Ă? -L Ăž + ÄŽ + Ă›H L Ă? Ă™H Ă›H L Ă? a H L

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WRITTEN BY EMMA REID

TURNING A NEW LEAF!

NEW TITLES THIS MONTH

AT WATERSTONES PV¤SF PO -PPLJOH GPS TPNFUIJOH OFX UP SFBE XIJMF Z UVSFT PS FWFO UIF USBJO UP XPSL UP ªMM UJNF CFUXFFO MFD F XFMM CVTZ TPNFUIJOH OFX UP LFFQ ZPV CVTZ XIJMF ZPV¤S IFS B 8BUFSTUPOFT PG 1PSUTNPVUI IBT QVMMFE UPHFU QUFNCFS CVODI PG OFX UJUMFT SFMFBTFE UISPVHIPVU 4F BOE SFDLPO UIFZ¤SF XPSUI B HP

NIGELISSIMA NIGELLA LAWSON

JAMIE’S 15 WONDERS MINUTE MEALS OF LIFE JAMIE OLIVER BRIAN COX

Nigella Lawson does Italian food and does it in her own style, from well known favourites to more obscure Italian fayre, you’re sure to find something to enjoy!

Following on from his hugely successful 30 Minute Meals, Jamie Oliver continues on his journey to make cooking easier on the nation.

Brain Cox takes the reader on a journey to discover exactly how fundamental laws that affect the massive universe also have an affect on life on Earth.

CHI LDR EN’ S FICTION

DODGER TER RY PRATCH ETT

Dodg er rescu es a young girl from a beating and then everyone know s who he is! Ever wonder wher e Dicke ns’ may have got his inspir ation for The Artfu l Dodg er from? Find out through the mind of Terry Pratc het t.

36 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

ADULT FICTION A POSSIBLE LIFE SEBASTIAN FAULKS A novel about love and missed opportunities, one that spans the generations and shows us what makes us all who we are.

WINTER OF THE WORLD KEN FOLLETT Volume two of the Century of Giants trilogy. Set in the tumultuous world of Berlin in 1933 where Hitler is growing to prominence and driving families apart in the process. Are those opposed to him prepared to betray their country in order to defy him? An ambitious and satisfying novel.

CASUAL VACANCY JK ROWLING The hotly anticipated new book from the author of the Harry Potter series, marking quite a departure from her previous work. Barry Fairbrother is dead, leaving Pagford in shock and an empty seat on the parish council. The town is at full of tensions and Barry’s death is the catalyst for an all out war. Who will be triumphant?

1356 BERNARD CORNWELL Cornwell’s novel is set in the run up to the Battle of Poitiers in 1356. It follows Thomas Hookton and Edward, Prince of Wales and their battles with The French, but also the fight to discover La Malice, a sword of mythical power, guaranteeing victory to its owner…! To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

FOR THE GUYS…

A GUYS GUIDE

HE LADI ES TO PICK ING UP T WR ITT EN BY NAO

STEP 4

MI COU PER

Outside of attractiveness, verbal cues are the biggest determining factor of how a woman perceives you. By hiding subtle innuendos in the phrasing of a simple question, you can keep hanky panky at the top of a woman’s mind throughout her entire encounter with you. A question that never fails is: “When do you think we will get to the fornication?” At a certain point she will either stop and walk away or she will agree to sleep with you. If you find yourself in any other situation, then you clearly ignored the part about being handsome.

STEP 5 T h e y ’r e ev er yw her p r ov e e , s t at it. is t ics abu n da S t ill , de s pit e t h eir n ce s o me me as t onis n se h e d by t h eir e em So m u ch s o , x is t e n s ce . om e w g o ou t ill ev e of t he n ir w ay on e in to s ee p e rs on ,b f rom b e hin d a u t mos t ly t a saf dis t an e g aw ce . G e ping n t le m le t s b en , egin …

STEP 1 A lot like wild dogs, women travel in packs, especially at social events. This works in your favour, they’re bolder in groups, and perpetuate one another’s bad behaviour. An environment with an open bar is essential to be sure the right type of women are attending. You’re looking for girls who are graceful but also slightly off balance, like an ice-skating swan. Women enjoy the sense of exclusivity, so going to high profile events are your best bet. 38 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

Don’t panic if you find yourself in conversation with her, you only need to catch a few words at the very beginning and the rest is just patience topped up with a few syllables of laughter. Easy. Chicks dig that.

STEP 2 Once you’ve found Babe HQ you’ll have to introduce yourself. Don’t waste your time estimating how many of these women you will take home because you’ll always be disappointed. Just stay focussed, shake hands and remember to say thankyou when they compliment your handsomeness. Oh, that’s something else I nearly forgot:

STEP 3 It’s important that you be attractive, otherwise you’ll have nothing to talk about. It’s good etiquette to be good looking, the women you intend to sleep with will likely be attractive so it’s only polite that you should return the favour. I’ve read other guides that urge you to find your ‘inner beauty’ which is a novel idea but consider that concept for a moment. If this was true you’d be born inside out.

STEP 6 By this point you’ll have no doubt brought a female back to your place. Now that you have them in proper lighting you will be able to get a good look. Some of these women may be incredibly attractive, while others will be loud laughing types who sprawl all over your furniture and let their mouths hang open. (If it’s the latter, don’t panic. It’s never too late to call a taxi). You can now rely on your innate skill, and spectacular endurance to see you through the rest of the evening. Come morning, it is your obligation to make breakfast! And there you have it, just six steps from meeting to mating. Now go forth and utilise your new tools. I would wish you luck if I thought you needed it.

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CALLING ALL STUDENTS!

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0IRATEÂľS

OOOH AARRGH-ME-HEARTY!

WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

A LIFE FOR ME &WFS GBODJFE DVUUJOH MPPTF GSPN EVMM PME SFBMJUZ BOE TBJMJOH UIF IJHI TFBT 4BEMZ MFHBMMZ JU NJHIU CF B CJU USJDLZ Â&#x; CVU GFBS OPU MBOEMVCCFST GPS 4FQUFNCFS UI JT ÂŁ*OUFSOBUJPOBM 5BML -JLF " 1JSBUF %BZ ¤ $SFBUFE CZ GSJFOET +PIO #BVS BOE .BSL 4VNNFST PS 0M¤ $IVNCVDLFU BOE $BQ¤O 4MBQQZ BT UIFZ¤WF CFFO LOPXO TJODF DSFBUJOH UIF IPMJEBZ JO JU¤T CFFO IBJMFE BT B DFMFCSBUJPO PG UIF HPMEFO BHF PG QJSBDZ 4P DMJNC BCPBSE BOE QSFQBSF UP TFU TBJM Â&#x; BMM IBOET PO EFDL

THE GOLDEN AGE The idea for the holiday itself came about as an unlikely result of a SBDRVFUCBMM JOKVSZ BOE UIF TVCTFRVFOU cry of pain – a loud ‘ Aaarr!’. From that moment on an idea was born and the two friends sent a letter to Miami Herald humour columnist Dave Barry, who helped them get media coverage for the event, which quickly spread internationally with the result that people in several countries have now embraced the madness. But what is the golden age of piracy? Historians have it as a period from approximately 1650–1726, in which three crucial states of events took place, widely believed to be the following: 1) The ‘Buccaneering’ period of approximately 1650 to 1680, characterised by Anglo-French seamen based onJamaica and Tortuga attacking Spanish colonies and shipping in the Caribbean and eastern Pacific. 40 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

POPULAARRR CULTURE

2) The Pirate Round of the 1690s, associated with long-distance voyages from Bermuda and the Americas to rob Muslim and East India Company targets in the Indian Ocean and Red Sea. 3) The post-Spanish Succession period, extending from 1716 to 1726, when Anglo-American sailors and privateers left unemployed by the end of the War of the Spanish Succession turned en masse to piracy in the Caribbean, the American eastern seaboard, the West African coast and the Indian Ocean.

INTERNATIONAL

‘TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY’

19TH

SEPTEMBER

See, it isn’t all Captain Jack Sparrow. Several pirates from the Golden Age have been immortalised in literature, music, film and television. Most of you will probably be aware of the likes of Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach (played by Ian McShane in Pirates Of The Caribbean – On Stranger Tides, drawing inspiration from the 1987 novel On Stranger Tides, with the film’s make-up people seemingly turning him into a nautical equivalent of shock-rock titan Alice Cooper) Bartholomew ‘Black Bart’ Roberts and Henry Avery, (mentioned by name in the 1966 Doctor Who serial The Smugglers, in which first Doctor William Hartnell finds himself thrust into the search for Avery’s gold and appearing on screen played by Hugh Bonneville alongside Matt Smith’s 11th Doctor in The Curse Of The Black Spot) – but the most lauded of all must be Treasure Island’s Long John Silver.

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OOOH AARRGH-ME-HEARTY! VIDEO SE NDING US YOU R R GE T IN VO LVE D BY TE S EN ACTIN G YOU MA R YOU D AN T CL IPS OF YOU RS AN D WE ’LL PU TE AC AR CH E AT FAVOUR IT E PIR E! IT BS WE R OU TH E BE ST ON ES ON

As well as lending his name to a trouser style, he has his own American seafood restaurant, several appearances in cinema. Robert Newton’s portrayal proving most influential, winning him the reward of becoming ‘patron saint’ of ‘International Talk Like A Pirate Day’, having appeared in the film which set the standard for future screen pirates – Disney’s 1950 adaptation of Treasure Island, after which he appeared as Silver again in 1954’s Long John Silver and a follow-up TV series, The Adventures Of Long John Silver).

HAIL THE ALE! It’s impossible of course not to mention the inevitable soundtrack to skullduggery. Scottish ‘pirate-metal’ group Alestorm have released three albums of belowdeck barnstorming – ‘Captain Morgan’s Revenge’, ‘Black Sails At Midnight’ and ‘Back Through Time’. If that’s not enough to get you wielding an air cutlass, I don’t know what is. With Alestorm currently the only band flying the pirate metal flag, why not form your own? The combination of guitar, bass, drums and lashings of rum can only end well… can’t it? Or if you fancy something a little more sedate, there’s always the Gilbert and Sullivan comic opera, ‘The Pirates Of Penzance’. It tells the story of Frederic, a young man released from his apprenticeship to a band of pirates on his 21st birthday. So far, so ordinary. But he was born on February 29, meaning he only has a birthday each leap year – under the terms of the apprenticeship he must serve his pirate masters for another 63 years. Beats a visit to the job centre I suppose! The most popular song from the production is undoubtedly ‘The Major-General’s Song’. All together now – I am the very model of a modern major-general…no? Never mind. However you choose to spend your day as a pirate, Cap’n Mayhem! salutes ye, scurvy dogs! Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

41

COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED!

WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

HOW TO …

NOT GO

MENTAL AFTER A

BREAK-UP Now I’m no stranger to the nasty break-up, but there really is no excuse for camping out in the ex’s bushes – waiting to catch a glimpse of them – which will, in turn, tear your heart out. It ’s over, so man up and get over it... quickly. No one likes a moper. Luckily for you Mayhem! has a few tips for doing just that.

DON’T PHONE I’m talking cold turkey here people. No calling to sob uncontrollably down the phone, no leaving messages ‘just to hear their voice’, or stalking them on social media. You’ll hate yourself for it later and they’ll count their lucky stars they got out when they did… you’re mental. Delete their number, de-friend them on Facebook and develop a nasty nickname, by which they will be referred from this day forth. 42 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

BE COOL

LOOK GREAT At all times! No nipping to the corner shop in your joggers or PJs, no whacking the hair up in a scruffy bun, or going outside without make-up…ever! Sod’s law dictates that this will be the precise moment that the ex will stroll round the corner and try to make pleasant conversation. Therefore, you must look amazing at all times, or at least until you see them, or any of their friends, again. This will also help you attract the next big-fling, so it’s a win-win.

GO OUT I know all you want to do is sit on the sofa with a vat of ice-cream, watching some chick-flick to sob your heart out to. But don’t…that’s what friends are for. If they haven’t already, get them to drag your sorry butt out of the house to the nearest drinking establishment and get some girly giggle therapy. They can also help you with appropriate nick-names (see point 1).

There will come a time, inevitably, when you will have to face the ex again. Normally when you least expect it. With any luck you will be out with the girls, looking fabulous and, having made no contact with them since the split, come across as relaxed, cool and together. You’ll have them wondering what the hell they were thinking breaking up with you in the first place, which is just what you want. Do not, however, under any circumstances, let them wiggle their way back in… not without a fight. If they really want you back then they’re going to have to work for it. If not, then you’re better off without!

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T 023 9289 3338 #ZOMBIEQUES

“THE MOST EXTREME EVENT OF THE YEAR”

ONE TO ONE WITH…

INTERVIEW BY SAM CROMPTON/HOTFEATURES

The UK’s hottest music star – who is currently being launched in the US – talks about what we can expect from her debut album, hanging out with her boss Jay-Z, her stint as a guest judge on ‘The X Factor’ plus what is really going on between her and Rihanna… It’s been an amazing year so far for Rita Ora and things are about to get even bigger for the UK artist with the release of her debut album ‘ORA’. The 21-year-old has already hit the No 1 spot in the UK with the album’s lead single ‘R.I.P’, which features rapper Tinie Tempah. Rita also scored a No 1 in the UK charts earlier this year as a featured vocalist on DJ Fresh’s ‘Hot Right Now’. 44 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

Meanwhile the music star – who has been dubbed Britain’s answer to Rihanna – has been opening for Coldplay on their European stadium tour. Although brought up in West London, Rita was actually born in Pristina, Yugoslavia – now present day Kosovo – and moved to England with her family when she was a baby. In 2009, she appeared on the BBC’s ‘Eurovision: Your Country Needs You’ where she auditioned to be the British contestant for the Eurovision Song Contest 2009. Later in 2009, she signed to Jay-Z’s Roc Nation label. To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

ONE TO ONE WITH…

YOUR ROC FAMILY, JAY-Z AND CO, WERE IN LONDON RECENTLY, SO DID YOU GET TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ALL?

They’re my family, so yeah we’re always here and every time we’re here when someone performs at an event, someone from Roc is always there. It’s always keeping it together. IS IT A WEEKLY CONFERENCE CALL WITH JAY-Z? IS IT AN EMAIL? IS IT A TWEET? WHAT IS IT?

It’s like any other boss – when you feel like you need someone to help you with something, you say, ‘Jay, how can I de-de-de?’ And he’ll be like, ‘Do this, do this.’ It’s very nice to have someone who knows so much. Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

WITH THE ALBUM READY TO GO, HAS HE SAID ‘ YES THIS IS READY TO GO’, APPROVED?

Yes, and the best thing is when you put the songs in order, it’s the most exciting part of the process. When you listen back to your tracks and go, that goes there, that goes there. It’s like you’re creating a roller coaster for your fans through songs. It’s really fun. DID YOU HAVE ANY ARGUMENTS ABOUT IT?

I mean, a few. Obviously we didn’t agree on everything, but that’s what makes a great team, when you’re passionate and ready to argue about songs. So, there were some things, ‘This slow song should go before the fast one’ and they were like, ‘No da da da…’– but we always come to a conclusion. SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

45

ONE TO ONE WITH…

UM N EW ALB E H T ’ A R ‘O

OW ! I S OU T N

LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR LATEST SINGLE ‘HOW WE DO’ AND THE VIDEO... THE ARTWORK FOR THE ALBUM LOOKS FANTASTIC.

Thank you. I have another one coming out – a Deluxe Edition – it’s a surprise. WILL IT FEATURE ANY COLLABORATIONS?

Yes. But I want you to know it’s not about collaborating for me. It only will happen if it’s meant to. I don’t just rely on collaborations, it’s all about you and your music and your writing. But there’s a few surprises on there and, I mean, it’s always fun to collaborate.

Well, the video I actually did a few months ago in LA while I was doing ‘RIP’ – I did both of those videos. So I had ‘How We Do’ for a while but I was excited for people to see it. I wanted it to be literally like a house party. A whole bunch of people from different parts of the planet coming together and having fun at a party and no one cares who you are or what you look like. Everyone’s literally having fun. That’s what I wanted to do for this music video.

ARE THERE ONE OR TWO SONGS THAT YOU’RE CONSTANTLY PLAYING TO YOURSELF?

THERE WAS A PHOTO OF YOU AND RIHANNA AT A PARTY WITH HER GIVING YOU A KISS – WHAT WAS THAT LIKE HANGING OUT WITH HER?

Yes, ‘Unfair’ is one of the only slow anthems on the album. I play it to myself all the time on repeat. ‘Love and War’, which is another track. I kind of listen back to it all the time and I try to always listen like I’m not me, you know what I mean?

The funny thing is I’ve met her a few times, that’s not the first time I’ve ever met her. But it’s just one of those things where… you know people like to talk and create things. She’s part of the family and she always has been and it’s all good. It’s all good vibes.

46 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

YOU’VE BEEN IN EUROPE AND THAT ’ S GOING WELL. WORLD DOMINATION IS TAKING PLACE.

Thank you, well that’s the aim. I’m putting all my time into this. I don’t want to do anything else. LET ’ S TALK ABOUT THE BIG PUSH IN AMERICA. THAT’S GONNA BE A LOT OF WORK BUT I KNOW YOU’LL BE UP FOR IT.

I’m up for it. That’s been one of my dreams, to do ‘Letterman’, go do shows in America and sell out shows. It’s so fun. ARE YOU DOING SOME OF THOSE BIG TV SHOWS?

Yeah, it’s the aim. I want to do all those things. I would love to do ‘Jay Leno’ and ‘David Letterman’. It’s like doing ‘Jonathan Ross’ and ‘A lan Carr’ – same thing.

To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

ONE TO ONE WITH‌

SAYING ‘NO’ TO PEOPLE THOUGH, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT AUDITION PROCESS IS LIKE? WAS THAT QUITE TOUGH?

It was tough in the beginning but do you know what? I just made myself realise, you’ve got to do it, you can’t keep letting these people feel like what they’re doing is right, if it’s not. And I think if I’m put in

I know, I can’t believe it. We’re doing lots of shows. It’s incredible – it sold out in, like, 20 minutes. IS PLAYING LIVE THE BEST THING ABOUT YOUR JOB?

Monday night Delight

E

R

Held at PURE, Guildhall walk EVERY Monday Y

Yeah, but it’s nice. My fans are very, very nice. They’re not crazy – I don’t have crazy fans. They’re like, ‘Rita, thank you, well done’ and that’s it. So I’m lucky.

2-4-1 ENTRY V

YOU MUST GET RECOGNISED A LOT MORE IN THE STREET NOW?

SA

Oh yeah. I don’t know if you can tell but every time I’m on stage I have the time of my life. I love performing. I think I love performing more than I love recording songs.

FINALLY, WHAT DO YOUR FANS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE RITA ORA ALBUM?

My album is gonna be full of life. And it’s literally just there to make you smile. And, you know, I’m Rita and everyone who knows me knows that I smile and I have a great time – and this is what this album was about for me. I cannot wait for you to hear it.

E

No, I’m going to be so excited. I’m gonna watch it and I’m gonna be looking at myself. I’m probably gonna hate watching myself on TV but it’s exciting. The episode I was featured in was incredibly fun and the talent was incredible. London is incredible.

AND YOU’RE TOURING YOUR OWN UK HEADLINE SHOWS.

N

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FEEL BEFORE YOUR SHOW GOES TO AIR? ARE YOU GOING TO FEEL NERVOUS, EXCITED?

that position I will use it to my advantage to try and help them as much as I can – obviously without knocking their confidence, if possible.

O

Isn’t that cool?! I’m happy, I’m over the moon. I’m excited. It’s fun, it’s really fun. I got a call from ‘The X Factor’ team and they asked me if I’d love to be a part of it. And I said, ‘Yes!’ I feel like I’m still doing my thing at the moment and it’s very, very important, I feel for people to kind of get an opinion from somebody who is actually in it at the same time. And me and Tulisa are in it at the same time. And it’s kind of really nice that I can help someone whenever it’s needed.

M

MEANWHILE, HOW DOES IT FEEL HAVING ‘ X FACTOR JUDGE’ NOW ON YOUR CV?

HORRIFIC HIGHLAND HAGGIS! WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

1–16t h Sept em ber 2012

ion of In cele br at h f rien ds our Scot t is ing our w e a r e p u ll de r w e a r kilt s on , un aying inclu de d, pl C D an d our bagpipe s om e cooking up ig ht s.. . Scot t is h del

: ! FACT H EM MAY are exported y isk wh tch Sco of s

36 bottle a whisky accounts for every second and s. ort exp nk dri d an quarter of UK food

Time to hit the kitchen! A champion Haggis should be firm and slightly sticky, with no tendency to dry out or crumble too much. Most traditional Scottish butchers sell their own home made Haggis and guard the recipe fiercely. Ours is from the Glasgow Cookery Book from around 1926. Be aware that this recipe includes lungs and windpipes and other things that don’t tend to appear in ‘cut out ‘n’ keep’ recipe cards. If you want to avoid these gruesome bits or aren’t allowed to eat them, try the Haggis-lite recipe instead.

WHAT GOES IN!

THE SCIENCE BIT!

q TIFFQ T QMVDL J F UIF BOJNBMT heart, liver, and lights (lungs). q $PME XBUFS q TIFFQ T TUPNBDI FNQUZ q MC MJHIUMZ UPBTUFE QJOIFBE PBUNFBM (medium or coarse oatmeal). q Ä? UCTQ TBMU q MFWFM UCTQ GSFTIMZ ground black pepper. q UCTQ GSFTIMZ HSPVOE BMMTQJDF q MFWFM UCTQ PG NJYFE IFSCT q P[ çOFMZ DIPQQFE TVFU q MBSHF POJPOT çOFMZ DIPQQFE q -FNPO KVJDF PS B HPPE WJOFHBS JT sometimes added as well as other flavourings such as cayenne pepper

1) Wash the stomach in cold water until it is thoroughly clean and then soak it in cold salted water for about 8-10 hours.

48 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

Ignore people who tell you to put a rock in with your simmering Haggis then throw out the beast and eat the rock – they are phillistines with no sense for the finer things in life.

2) Place the pluck in a large pot and cover with cold water. The windpipe ought to be hung over the side of the pot with a container beneath it in order to collect any drips. Gently simmer the pluck for approximately two hours or until it is tender and then leave the pluck to cool. 3) Finely chop or mince the pluck meat and then mix it with the oatmeal. Add about half a pint of the liquor in which the pluck was cooked

A PIC TUR E WH Y NOT SEN D US AND THE AG AZI NE.CO.UK HELLO@ MAYHE MM T-S HIRT! A NEW MAYHE M! N WI LL WI E BES T ON

(or use a good stock). Add the seasonings, suet and onions, ensuring everything is well mixed. 4) Fill the stomach with the mixture, leaving enough room for the oatmeal to expand into. Press out the air and then sew up the haggis. Prick the haggis a few times with a fine needle. Place the haggis it in boiling water and simmer for approximately three hours.

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r to get Remembe epper App your free P for all the download tes and last latest up da es to set ng minute cha e event. th t times a er-app.com www.pepp

HILARIOUS OR HORRIFIC?

FUNNIEST RECORD COVERS

50 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

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COME ON EILEEEN!

s y x e D eir n ew uring t h o t d n a io nig ht t he s t ud e x y s Mid ‘D y l r e Back in rm uildhall e x y s ’ (fo m p t on G a ‘D h t ir u o t o r S rep e ing t he are hit t ’) s r e n n Ru ar s ! s t 20 ye a l e h t g f or be en g oin ICK ’s t a h w TR ou t CITY PA W BY FE LI IN TE RV IE

The name Dexys Midnight Runners came from the drug Dexedrine , after the boundless late-night energy it gives users. What made you decide to shorten your name to Dexys?

What made you decide to reform and record your fourth studio album ‘ Don’ t Stand Me Down’,

The reason for shortening the name is to acknowledge that we have moved on. We are not doing a ‘revival’ or ‘greatest hit’ tour. This is basically a new venture and we want to show people that, although we are very proud of our past, this is 2012 and we are presenting a new show with a new album, a new look and a new sound.

There was always going to be a new album. Kevin had a vision and it’s what we do, as simple as that really. Although a lot has been made of the time gap, 27 years is a long time, Dexy’s has always been about getting things right, about spending time making sure that we are proud of the finished product.

52 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

The songs were written over a long period and went through a painstaking process of demos and trials. Just getting the sound right, the arrangement right, everything from the key to the high hat patterns, it all takes time and hard work. What can our readers expect from this album?

If you like to hear a man baring his soul with painful honesty through his lyrics and a wonderful vocal performance, great tunes and excellent musicianship, then this album has got it all, and more. I’ve been lucky to play with some great singers on great albums but none of them have ever brought me to tears like this. There is one song in particular that I find very hard to listen to.

To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

COME ON EILEEN! You’ve received some rapturous reviews for both your new album and the live shows. People seem to like it. How does it feel to be back?

It’s a bit overwhelming to be honest. * N FOKPZJOH JU TP NVDI * N ESFBEJOH JU coming to a halt. Of course, wakening up every morning and being able to remember the night before is a great help. Everthing is real, it’s not a booze fuelled euphoria any more. I get such a buzz being on stage even though I’m a nervous wreck. Playing with such a great band of musicians and friends is the icing on the cake. Was there a plan b if the launch of the new album hadn’t worked?

(FU B QSPQFS KPC NBZCF /P JU certainly never crossed my mind that we wouldn’t succeed in any way. You can’t guarantee success but it depends on what you see success as. For me it’s doing things like this, reading fans comments on Facebook and the like, hearing that total strangers can’t wait to see you play, spending their money when it is probably tight. If I can make someone happy for a couple of hours then that is success. How do you feel your music has evolved since you were last together?

We are all obviously older and I hope wiser. The music is more mature and considered, that is, we spent a lot of time getting it right. The songs were also co-written by quite a variety of people, all brilliant in their own right. Mick Talbot and Kevin worked very hard on honing the songs to the standard they are now. They all sound fresh but still have that unique Dexys quality. I think time has been kind to us as we still have a desire to do the best we can.

You have three former Dexys members in the line up this time. Is it important to you that the gang are back together and does it make it a stronger performance?

Working with Kevin, Pete and Mick again is really exciting and that’s because we have all done other things since the 80’s but we have kept that Dexys spirit. You can take the man out of Dexys but you can’t take Dexys out of the man. The performances probably are stronger because of that bond we have, the history and trust. The humour in the band is wonderful as well, something that a lot of people didn’t know existed. back in the 90’s Kevin got quite a hostile response from the press on your dress sense. Can you tell us why you think this was so heated and how this made you feel during this time?

I can’t answer for Kevin about how he felt but my opinion is that the press were getting a little bit of revenge because of the relationship we had had previously. It was either UIBU PS UIFZ KVTU DPVMEO U CF CPUIFSFE to try and ‘get’ the ‘look’. As Kevin said at the time, they were men’s clothes but if you don’t try and understand something, it’s very easy to dismiss it as ‘weird’.

on Ch eck th em ou t th e 13th Sept em ber at ildhall. Sout hampt on Gu Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

Were you always the dictator of the band, as you were portrayed to be?

That is something that was completely blown out of proportion. Kevin is a man with great passion, drive and determination. Without that, Dexys would not have succeeded. You need a leader, someone to make the hard decisions, fight the record companies, take the chances. He was not a dictator, Idi Amin was a dictator. You need more UIBO KVTU HPPE TPOHT UP TVDDFFE ZPV need a visionary and Kevin is that. We were old enough to look after ourselves and we did have arguments and fall outs but the band was better for it. If I could liken him to anyone, it would be Alex Ferguson and they gave him a knighthood. It’s an exciting time to have you guys back on the scene. So what else can we expect to see from Dexys?

We have the British tour in September which I can’t wait for. The last time I was in Southampton I was in a band called The Neighbourhood and we were supporting The Christians. After that, who knows? Ideally we will continue, some songs have been written and I’m sure Kevin already has something in mind. I can guarantee the next album won’t take another 27 years, I’ll be 83 so may need to be attached to an oxygen tank. Whatever IBQQFOT * N HPJOH UP FOKPZ JU BOE hopefully everybody else will get FOKPZNFOU GSPN JU BT XFMM Why not get down to the Southampton Guildhall for an awesome night of entertainment this month. Alongside their new work you’re likely to hear classics like ‘Come on Eileen’ and ‘Geno’.

SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

53

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

COCO AND THE BCERSOT WUNNSEID0G12N!ED BUTTERFIELDS

A CT 2

d th e be st w ere crow ne r of 2012 af te t un sign ed ac in d ne ig ns an d U win ning Live ce en di au ut -o ll fron t of a se . is summ er at Th e O2 th Coco and the Butterfields from Canterbury took away ÂŁ10,000 to develop their music and an incredible 18 date festival tour including a trip to Tour Fest in Rome. They were crowned Live and Unsigned champion at Proud2 within The O2 in London, describing the victory as: ‘Brilliant. We’ve got so much out of the competition, it’s amazing!’ The band won festival slots at Beach Break Live and Paddle Round the Pier in the earlier rounds as well as bagging a vintage guitar and a Blackstar amp before even getting to the Grand Final. Coco and the Butterfields first won the Indie and Alternative Grand Final with their genre crossing brand of ‘Fip Fok’ (a combination of Hip-Hop, Folk and Pop) before being announced as the overall Live and Unsigned 2012 Champion, having their prize presented by Radio One DJ Ras ,XBNF XIP XBT KVEHJOH UIF FWFOU 54 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

Coco and the Butterfields beat more than 10,000 other acts to eventually win the biggest competition for original performers in the UK. As well as winning £10,000 to spend on development they will receive £10,000 worth of publicity investment, and an animated music video worth £10,000 courtesy of Gavdude. Also winning prizes through Live and Unsigned were Contraband who won the Rock and Metal Final, Leon Bratt who was crowed best acoustic act, and Molly who won the Urban/Pop category. Along with Ras Kwame, other KVEHFT PO UIF EBZ JODMVEFE ,FSSBOH Unsigned presenter Alex Baker, Kiss FM Breakfast Presenter Charlie Hedges, NME New Music Editor Matt Wilkinson, one half of Artful %PEHFS .BSL )JMM 6OJWFSTBM " 3 man Solomon Penumuchi, Metal Hammer’s Dayal Patterson and Si Hulbert who produces for Ed Sheeran and One Direction.

Further festival slots were given out on the day as well as a Fret King Guitar endorsement, a Natal drum kit and Blackstar and TC Electronic amps. Chris Grayston, Events Director of -JWF 6OTJHOFE DPNNFOUFE hUIJT JT a fantastic achievement for Coco and the Butterfields. They’re definitely the most original winner we’ve ever had. They beat a massive pool of talent on the day to take the £10,000 which they can spend on development as they like. The festival tour will be an incredible experience for them too and a great way of getting their name out there even further!� Live and Unsigned is the biggest original music competition in the UK for unsigned bands and artists. Attracting over 40,000 musicians to enter this year, it has set itself apart from its predecessors by promoting originality. To secure your audition place for next year’s competition, go to www.liveandunsigned.uk.com.

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MAYHEM! MEETS…

MIDGE URE Midge Ure has had about a dozen careers in one. Frontman of chart-topping 70s popsters Slik; fill-in guitarist for the legendary Thin Lizzy; brains behind new romantics Visage; driving force behind Ultravox; successful solo artist – and that’s just for starters. He directed videos for Bananarama, is musical director for The Prince’s Trust concerts and, most famously of all, instigated the Band Aid and Live Aid projects with Bob Geldof. After 28 years Midge has teamed up with his old band Ultravox to bring a new album filled with the nostalgic sounds with a 21st Century edge. We catch up with the Scottish singer/song writer to quiz his fashion sense and see what we can expect from his new album… INTERVIEW BY TORY NAIRN

Your name has evolved as much as got shortened to Jim, reversed to Mij and then evolved to Midge) does anyone still call you Jim?

Only people who have known me since my teenage years, and my brother and sister. It would be too weird for them to call me Midge. 56 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

You started gigging around Glasgow back in the early/mid 70’s. Was it very different back then compared to now?

In Scotland the church ran the licensing laws for pubs which wouldn’t allow people to pay for entertainment on entry. This meant there was no pub rock scene so dancehalls, town halls etc were the venues of the day.

You were famously asked to join the Sex Pistols but you turned it down. Do you have any regrets about your decision?

Absolutely not. The band Malcolm McLaren put together eventually was the perfect line up.

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MAYHEM! MEETS‌

You later worked with the Sex Pistols bass player and songwriter Glen Matlock in the Rich Kids, can you tell us about that time?

* KPJOFE UIF 3JDL ,JET JO MBUF XIFO I moved to London. It was baptism by fire really. The day I arrived we rehearsed three songs, went out that evening and played them in 3 different venues where The Police, The Boomtown Rats and The Banshees were appearing. It was chaos. was a bit of a departure musically to what you’d been originally doing. With Ultravox being typically associated with the punk/new wave music at the time, did you have any reservations about the transition?

I introduced a synthesiser to the Rich Kids in order to incorporate it with traditional rock instruments but it split the band down the middle. Half loved it and half hated it. The half who loved it, Rusty Egan and I created Visage, a studio based collective featuring all our favourite musicians of the day, one of whom was Ultravox’s Billy Currie. The rest as they say is history. Why did Ultravox decide to reform after 28 years and what sort of response are you receiving?

We were made aware in 2009 of the fact that it was 30 years since we had written Vienna and if we were ever thinking of doing something again that would be the year to celebrate the body of work we had. Weirdly we were all intrigued so the Return to Eden tour happened. The response has been fantastic. How has the Ultravox sound evolved since you were last together?

It has become apparent that no matter what instrumentation we use when recording we end up sounding like Ultravox. The sound comes from the four individuals working as a band. Just as bands should.

AT TH E PORT SMOUTH CH ECK OUT ‘ULT RAVOX’ 23RD SEPT EM BER! GUILDHALL ON SUNDAY You recorded your new Ultravox album ‘Brilliant’ in Canada. Why Canada and did the location have

* IBWF B MPH IPVTF KVTU /PSUI PG Montreal which we turned into a collection of makeshift studios. We then locked ourselves away in a beautiful environment and started writing and recording. No producers, OP FOHJOFFST OP DSFX KVTU VT 8F were not sure if we could still create together and living and working like this could have been a real challenge. As it transpires it was the best thing we could have done. Looking back over your music videos there have been some pretty extreme fashion trends‌ what’s been your biggest fashion faux paus?

I don’t agree we were ever extreme in that department. Everyone has old photos they can look back at where they will cringe when they see what they used to look like. It’s not bad fashion which makes you look stupid, it’s the passage of time. You conceived the Band Aid phenomenon in response to the famine in Ethiopia - is it true that Bob Geldof thought your opening riff for ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ sounded like the theme from the British TV series in the 70’s Z-Cars?

Of course. What does he know? He’s a singer! At the time did you think you’d still be hearing and talking about the song nearly a quarter of a century later? Why do you think this song has stood the test of time so well?

8F UIPVHIU UIF #BOE "JE QSPKFDU would last six months. Nobody thought the record would still be getting played now. It’s turned into a kind of modern Christmas carol.

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How did you enjoy the Live 8 experience?

The atmosphere in Edinburgh, the part I was most responsible for, was electric. Much more so than the Hyde Park concert. You’re still a Band Aid Trustee, how important is it for you to still be a part of charities‌?

Everyone should give something back if they can. When you see the level of poverty in the third world it’s quite astounding. Doing nothing for me is not an option. What was it like receiving your OBE? Did the Queen say anything interesting to you?

It was a great experience. The Queen wasn’t too happy at having to pull her summer tea party in Holyrood Palace in Edinburgh because of Live 8/make poverty history campaign but she mentioned it with a secret smile. Last year you released your autobiography named after your hit single ‘If I was’. What can we expect from this book and why did you name the book after your hit single?

Grammatically it should be If I were but that doesn’t scan as a song or book title. It came about after people saw ‘This is your life’ program and they saw how wonderfully strange NZ MJGF IBT CFFO *U KVTU UFMMT NZ TUPSZ The good and not so good. You’re playing in Portsmouth Guildhall this September. Do you have any pre-rituals before going on stage?

Rehearsals. That’s it! You’ve had a very impressive career to date, however are there still things that you would like to achieve?

Waking up every morning is a good start. SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

57

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Guildhall

What’s on September October

THE POLITICS AND POPULARITY OF…

k c a J itehall h W el show n a p e Th wa r y s i c i c om t u n t il u b , l l i k of over n he’ll keep the ing ! h g u a l on

60 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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THE POLITICS AND POPULARITY OF… There’s a perception right now that Jack Whitehall is a little overexposed. His Channel 4 university comedy, ‘Fresh Meat’, has been picked up for another series, while he’s now being seen in BBC Three series ‘Bad Education’ with Matt Horne. He’s also just wrapped up a sell-out UK stand up tour and is pretty much a standard on the merry-go-round of panel shows, ‘Mock The Week’, ‘A League of Their Own’ and ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’. We really should be sick of him, right? Jack certainly seems to think so: “I think I may have done too many panel shows. After a while people get bored of you. I might be a bit more selective in future.” But it’s not as if the gracefully middle-classed comic accepts every offer that comes his way. Sometimes he actually finds the words to ‘no’, especially when reality TV comes knocking. “Strictly is the one thing I would actually quite like to do because I like dancing,” he replies, coolly. “They’ve offered it to me twice but it’s never the right time, etc etc. And I’ve been offered ‘Celebrity Masterchef’ which has tempted me, but I’d worry if I did, I might tell Greg Wallace his restaurant in Putney is rubbish. Actually, there are a lot of things I would do if they were not actually aired on TV.”

However, recently acting is looking like more of an attractive option. “It’s what I feel more comfortable with right now; I rather I like the challenge of it. But it’s not proving too easy and I’m not getting a lot of auditions I go for. I went in for The Hobbit and didn’t get it, something I was very, very gutted about.” Coming from a stereotypical well to do background which included stints at Marlborough College and the Harrodian School in Barnes, south-west London where, incidentally, ‘Twilight’ actor Robert Pattinson was two years his senior, Jack has received criticism for his acting performances, particularly for Fresh Meat, and believes this is down to his background. “People seem to find it a horrible thing, that I’m posh. And it’s annoying, because there is nothing I can do about it. It’s who I am; don’t judge me on it.”

“They were all ‘Jack Whitehall can possibly, actually, maybe act, even though the character is a posh idiot, which means he’s basically playing himself’. I mean, that’s pretty harsh stuff, a bit unnecessary if you ask me. It’s like some have an actual vendetta against me, which I guess so many go through.” However, he’s preparing for more criticism to come his way, saying: “I’m very conscious of the fact that I’m due what people will call a ‘backlash’. Some real vitriol. It will happen eventually, so I just need to make the best of it.” And although he’s bracing himself, Whitehall confesses that he finds bad press hard to swallow, admitting: “It’s hard not to take personally. Whenever someone is rude about you, you think, ‘Why am I doing this?’, but then you get over it, because deep down you know you’re having a great time.” ‘Bad Education’ is available to own on DVD from the 24th September.

But it’s not just reality faire that gets the rebuke, Terry’s Chocolate Orange was rejected too. But kindly Jack, 24, had his personal reasons for this. “I couldn’t do it because I don’t like them. And I couldn’t steal it off Dawn [French]; that’s pure sacrilege there. I’d be the most hated man in the UK.” Branded the lovechild of Russell Brand and Michael McIntyre, a comparison he’s understandably a little uncomfortable with, Whitehall, whose godfather is Nigel Havers, has been a staple of the stand-up circuit since his big break hosting Big Brother’s Big Mouth in 2008.

e ar an ce on jack’s app you ’ t n ew s for ‘hav e I g o

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SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

61

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62 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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A passion for selling? If so we want to hear from you. We’re looking for an Advertising Sales Executive to join our vibrant Mayhem! team in Portsmouth. You’ll need to have: q Media sales experience and excellent communication skills;

You’ll need to be: q A good team player with a strong work ethic; q Confident, trustworthy, determined and dynamic; q Proactive and creative.

If this sounds like you, please get in touch today! hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk

THE

THE DON INVESTIGATES THE BIG ‘C’

#BDL JO +VOF XF FYQMPSFE UIF CFOFÂŞUT BOE JNQPSUBODF PG TFMG FYQMPSBUJPO BOE MFBSOJOH IPX UP EFUFDU QPTTJCMF $BODFST FBSMZ UIPTF CFJOH POFT UIBU HSPX FJUIFS JO UIF CSFBTUT PG CPUI TFYFT PS UIF NBMF UFTUFT 4P BGUFS B SFMBYJOH DBSF GSFF TVNNFS XF¤SF CBDL XJUI NPSF TJNQMF BEWJDF PO IPX UP MPPL BGUFS ZPVSTFMG Don’t ever discount a few minutes spent checking yourself every day but bear in mind that this practice doesn’t just apply to those parts of the body (boobs and balls) that are most frequently referred to when it comes to self examination. Far from it. Cases of Head and Neck Cancer are increasing yearly in the UK, something that merits both serious concern and study in medicine with one local hospital (St Mary’s in Portsmouth) treating new cases on an almost weekly basis.

ke sure First and foremost, ma t tis Den r that you vis it you now are ts tis Den . reg ularly ly sig ns traine d to det ect the ear will, and uth mo of Can cer in the looks t tha ing eth som ing upon see r you e hav you out of pla ce wh en ost alm , on ati min reg ular exa you r local certainly ref er you to min ation. exa r the hos pit al for fur to be It ’s the ref ore import ant ly sig ns ear le sib pos any aw are of y in bod r or dif ferences to you ll. we those are as as

64 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

For m o try the re reading se web http:/ /canc sites: e rhelp www .cance .cance r re s rin

e a rc h fo r m a uk .or www tion .o g .macm rg .uk illan .o ( I n for rg .uk mat io n if you b een d or a f r ia g no iend / lo sed w ved on it h Ca e ha s ncer)

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THE DON INVESTIGATES THE BIG ‘C’

OU R F I R S T C H E CK O U T MI S S E D I T, U O Y F I E C PI E S S U E , P.3 6 I S ’ E N U J N I

The crucial point to remember here is that they can notice something a long, long time before you are even aware that it’s there – hence the importance of regular visits. This will mean your Dentist and Hygienist has an intimate knowledge of your mouth so will easily notice if something doesn’t look right. It’s also important that you check out your mouth and tongue as best you can as well. Little lumps and bumps that you don’t recognise, discolouration on the tongue or gums or unexplained pain somewhere in the mouth. Get it checked out. Don’t wait to see if it ‘goes away’ in the next few days, get it looked at.

Likewise be aware of the structure, feel and look of your neck. You may have noticed, at times, if you are run down or feeling a little under the weather, that part of your neck seems to swell. These are glands that are part of your lymphatic system which are used to fight infection. They are normally successful in their work and your appearance will return to ‘normal’ after a few days. However, if the swelling lasts for a lot longer than you would expect – it’s better to be safe than sorry. If you feel around the sides of your neck, the skin should be fairly giving and it shouldn’t hurt. If it does, or your feel or see a small growth or lump under there, much as you are seeking if you are examining your breasts or testicles, pop along to see your GP. He or she will be glad you did and, again, if it’s a Cancer, then detecting it as early as you will have done, gives you a good chance of a successful treatment and a long life. If you have had a persistent sore throat or your voice is hoarse and has been for more than a few days, then guess what? Yep, it’s time to toddle off to the Doc to have it checked out. They can do so quickly and easily by taking a good look in your mouth and throat with an endoscope and will soon be able to tell if you just need a course of antibiotics or a little bit of further consideration. Above all else, NEVER be frightened or reluctant to go and see any health professional about anything at all that worries you. They’d sooner have 10 people rush into their consulting rooms only to be turned away with nothing more than reassuring words, than one person leaving it too late and facing an uncertain future because they did just that. SO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF. AND BE AWARE. EVERYWHERE. Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

SEPTEMBER 2012 | MAYHEM!

65

ANIMAL

WRITTEN BY KELLY WICKHAM

FORAGING FUN!

INSTINCTS e st rugg le , th As th e bank s a halt to ds ly grin economy slow s are ng ri st e rs ’s pu an d ev eryone to e m ev er , it ’s ti tighte r than ring he at r hunt er-g re tu rn to ou to s or st ce ou r an in st in ct s of fe r… bies are on of ee fr t ha w se e ra ge ly easy to fo It ’s su rprising ng yi . hout ev en tr for food wit iar m w ill be fa il Mos t peop le from es ri er bl ackb wit h picking s in m oo hr us m or th e he dg erow ow th e right clos er an d kn e for, th ere ar things to look r fe of on gs thin so man y more ee . absolu te ly fr

ALWAYS SEEK ADVICE IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE PICKING.

BERRY GOOD The countryside is the best place to start with rosehip bushes, where you can pick the red berries and make scrumptious jams and syrups. There are also blackthorn bushes with sloe berries which are used for perserves and gin. Wild lemon balm is a plant which looks like nettles but can be used as a refreshing drink by popping in a teapot and covering with hot water or even as a flavour for ice cream. There are also always sweet chestnuts, delicious raw or roasted and, of course, blackberries, delicious to use for crumbles, pies and jams. 66 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

SEA FOOD There is also always the seaside, if you are closer to the sea than countryside, and there is still plenty to offer. If you like all things fish, there are crabs and mussels which can be cooked into many delectable dishes! If you aren’t one for sea creatures, than don’t forget to pick up some seaweed. You can make seaweed soup, bread or even Chinese style – crispy!

FUNGI TIMES Let’s not forget the first food which comes to mind for foraging, which is of course mushrooms. It’s difficult to forage mushrooms for several reasons including the weather. Fungi like certain conditions, which is mainly the damp. Then of course there is the main issue of distinguishing between what’s edible and poisonous, so if you don’t know, don’t pick!

So, instead of hopping in the car and travelling to the supermarket for a bag wrapped Hovis and a box of Tetley, why not go out, discover the great outdoors and pick some wild lemon balm for a refreshing cuppa and making a delicious seaweed loaf? There is something satisfying about tucking into meals made using ingredients you have picked yourself just hours before and knowing there are no chemicals, freezing, minimum transporting and best of all, 100% free!

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FORAGING FUN!

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THE SCIENCE BIT!

1) Cook the pasta in a large pot of salted boiling water according to the package directions until barely al dente. Hold back 1 cup of pasta water. As the pasta cooks, heat the olive oil in a skillet large enough to hold the cooked pasta, and sautĂŠ the shallot and garlic until soft and translucent. Add the white wine, chicken broth, salt and pepper to taste. Let the sauce simmer and reduce until the pasta is done. 2) Heat the butter in a skillet and sautĂŠ the mushrooms, garlic and thyme until tender, about 5 minutes. Don’t crowd them or they won’t go brown. Cook in batches if necessary. 3) To finish the dish, add the additional 2 tbsp of butter to the sauce and stir. Add the drained pasta to the skillet with the sauce to finish cooking to al dente. Add the sautĂŠed mushrooms and give it a toss. Add some of the left over pasta water if the pasta seems dry. Garnish with chopped fresh parsley! VoilÄ !

Hilarious hip-hop, physical theatre and jaw dropping skills with a futuristic twist! “A Comedic Gem� ***** The Scotsman

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NEXT MONTH

MAYHEM! IS

…and to celebrate we’ve teamed up with Dumpster Couture (aka Daisy HarrisBurland) who has designed and produced 10 bespoke dresses, one for each of our first 10 Issues. A-mayhem-azing! These priceless one-off garments, as featured in ‘Brightons International Fashion Week’ and last months debut ‘Southsea Fashion Week’, will be up for auction and you could be in with a chance to make one or more them yours!!! Keep a close eye on our facebook page (themayhemmagazine) and our website www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk for more breaking news and information and even a preview of dress # 10 using covers from this very issue.

WWW.DUMPSTERDESIGN.CO.UK WWW.MAYHEMMAGAZINE.CO.UK 68 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

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ONLINE GAMBLING If you don’t mind working unsociable hours – this just could be for you! Put a little pot of money aside for your first online sessions – but never gamble more than you can afford to lose. If you’re reasonably competent at the game then taking a stab at playing other poker players from across the world, some of whom, let’s admit it, won’t know what the hell they’re doing*, might just see you win enough dosh to comfortably get through a few weeks of high living. (*Of course, some of them are very, very good indeed, so be prepared for the possibility of being taken to the cleaners).

70 MAYHEM! | SEPTEMBER 2012

mak e ou t th er e to port un it ie s op d , ia yr ng m si e es Th er e ar drivin g, w aitr in d th e bar, e fa ct eh th e -b it id sp qu de w , a fe et c. How ev er ng di in in s dm ie il ad cleaning , ch ge t som e re w ill se e you all e ey os th th – of ns y ai m that an able fa ct re rt fo m co un e ex chan ge , on ell, w ork! to do som e w requir e you e side is un fort un at ay s arou nd th w e e cash ar th e ng er hi Bu t th e lu cr e, st as of loving th e hous e! s th ay g w in , av ct le fe ef w it hout ev en ad w ur yo g u how … an d w avin re to show yo M ay he m ! is he

SELL SELL SELL!!!

SURVEY THE OPTIONS

Come on, you’ve got loads of junk you don’t want anymore. Books, DVD’s, CD’s, X-Box and PS3 games. So swap them for some cash! Car boot sales are a great way of whiling away a Sunday morning, a pitch is only a few quid for you and your goodies. OK, so this one does actually get you out of the house, but fear not – you could always resort to eBay. Give that a go – eBayers will buy anything!

If you love to make your opinion known – then why not be paid for doing so? A growing number of online companies who will pay you to answer surveys on all manner of issues, and, while you may have to do quite a few weeks work before you’ve accrued enough ‘credit’ to get a payment, it’s pretty much money for old rope. All you need to do is tick some boxes or offer your thoughts.

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IN SEARCH OF A QUICK QUID?

SECRET SHOPPER Getting paid to go shopping, eating out, or go to the Cinema. Too good to be true, right? Well, yes and no. Now, we figure that these are activities that you are going to want to do anyway, so that’s how the ‘never leave your home’ thing can be circumvented. Retailers, for example, a bookseller, might ask you to go into a specific branch and ask for something they haven’t got as part of a more detailed report on the whole customer ‘experience’. It’s popular and competitive – but one that will see more demand in years to come.

ONLINE TUTORING PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS Big corporate companies don’t outsource all of their call centres to the Asian continent. Some companies use home based workers to answer customer queries, and, for the pleasure of answering the phone at home in their underwear, they’re earning £6–£7 per hour. OK, that’s not much, but staying at home to do it, wearing what you like, eating ice cream and having the TV on in the background whilst referring people to another number all the time – that can’t be so bad. BT and the RNIB are just two companies that have used home based callers in the past.

As the heading suggests, your mission (should you choose to accept it) is hook up with a bunch of students online, probably those doing GCSE’s or A Levels and give them the benefit of your relevant expertise and (ahem) knowledge via a little gentle mentoring and encouragement. It does demand a bit of responsibility and serious commitment from you – and you’ll also need to provide a CRB – but a rewarding possibility, both financially and personally – and great for your CV. If you do look into any of these avenues for a little extra income, check out the companies in question first, and never pay any money upfront to ‘register’ your details. The genuine ones won’t ask for a penny.

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