Cancer is a disease that can affect anyone, but it does not affect everyone equally. The American Cancer Society is addressing the unequal burden of cancer by reaching individuals in underserved communities in collaboration with community partners. Our Community Health Advisors provide education, outreach, and information to men and women, particularly in the area of cancer prevention. They encourage people to practice early detection of colon, breast and cervical cancer while it is in the most treatable stages. To find out more about our Community Health Advisor program , please contact the American Cancer Society at 1.800.227.2345.
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- Courtesy of
departments Founder and Editorial Director Verna V. Nickelberry Editor-In-Chief Sharon Locklear Art Director Rushun Wiseman Contributing Writers Vanderbilt Brabson Paris Ducker Pamela Kendrick Onika Shirley Paola Tennon Sales Director/ Memphis, TN Janet Chestnut salesmemphis@ ordinarypeoplemagazine.org International Director of Sales and Market Frisco, TX Will Odom tndimension.net (214) 514-2926 ‘Advertise With Us� Please Contact Us At (770) 767-0649 O.P. Magazine Mail 1311 Woodridge Dr. Atlanta, GA 30339 (770) 767-0649 http://ordinarypeoplemagazine.org ORDINARY PEOPLE MAGAZINE is a quarterly publication and is distributed in Memphis, TN; Knoxville, TN; Frisco, TX; Atlanta, GA; and Orlando, FL.
contents WINTER 2018
06 FROM WITHIN... 09 WALKING DAILY BY THE 10 POWER OF GOD ON THE COVER
Ms. Verna V. Nickelberry
Verna V. Nickelberry
10
Onika Shirley Founder of Action Speaks Volume, Inc.
14 MARRIAGE AT IT’S BEST 20 FOR YOUR HEALTH 22 30 MIRACLES & BLESSINGS 34 CONSIDER THIS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF 40 INSPIRATIONAL WORDS 42 IN THE SPOTLIGHT Torraine Anglin
Pamela Kendrick
14
The Silent Epidemic of Abuse
Living Life with Congestive Heart Failure Stage IV & AFIB
Falling and Failure
Living the Fabulous Life on a Budget
30
Get a Grip and Guard that Good Thing!
All rights reserved.Reproduction in whole or in part without the founder/editor’s consent is strictly prohibited. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the positions or views of the editor. The publication of any advertisement in the issue does not constitute an endorsement of the advertiser’s products or services by the publication. © 2018 Ordinary People Magazine
34
On The Cover
Here we grow again! We are so proud of Ms. Verna V. Nickelberry for stepping out of her comfort zone and taking a really big LEAP, by being on the cover! Ms. Nickelberry is the CEO of VeMaShe Enterprise as well as the Founder and Editorial Director of Ordinary People Magazine (OPM), host of OPM Live! BlogTalkReadio , and host OPM Annual Business Prayer Breakfast. Ms. Nickelberry is a native of Memphis, TN where she has volunteered for several organizations such as “Our Children, Our Future…A volunteer tutoring program that was sponsored by the Memphis City Schools; Vollentine Elementary Career Day; Youth Service in Memphis, Inc., Friends of the Orpheum Theater and volunteered at LeMoyne-Owen College during their “Hank Aaron” Celebrate Week-End. Ms. Nickelberry has served as the president of Drifters, Incorporated Memphis Chapter. Drifters, Inc., is a nonprofit organization with over 50 chapters throughout the United States, which serve the youth and the elderly. She has also served as a Loan Executive for the Combined Federal Campaign for United Way of the Mid-South and as the Combined Federal Campaign Coordinator at the Memphis Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) for five years and the Readiness Support Group Coordinator – MEPS Memphis. Ms. Nickelberry is the author of “He Wrote The Script…Just Follow It! Applying Biblical Principal for Entrepreneurial Success.” She is one of 14 contributing authors of “Cultivating Your It Factor; 14 Must Have To Discover, Define and Refine Your Signature Brand.”
ON T H E
C OVE R COVER INFORMATION
The mother of two sons, the grandmother of five boys, a graduate of LeMoyne-Owen College, and Jacksonville Theological Seminary. Ms. Nickelberry truly has a servant’s heart, which can be seen in her work. She retired from the Department of Defense after serving over 25 years and resides in Atlanta, GA. You can connect with Ms. Nickelberry on all social media, and her website, www.vernavnickelberry.com. Photo by Darrious Mitchell MakeUp by Lakota Walker
6 | Winter 2018
Letters to the Editor
Letters to the
EDITOR “Hi, I love the stories of the ladies on the cover. The idea to dedicate your 4th quarter cover to Breast Cancer survivors is a wonderful idea. ” -Barbara “Wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your magazine. I have every issue.” -Belinda “We you all still offer subscription now that you are digital? How will that work? I would like to renew my old subscription, but didn’t see how to renew on the digital site.” - Maggie “I can’t tell you how much I enjoy reading your magazine!I have been following you since your first issue. Thank you so much the “For Your Health” article.” - Yolanda
Your AD Goes Here! ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 7
FROM WITHIN ... BY VERNA V. NICKELBERRY In this scripture, the apostle Paul is writing
with us a recent conversation he had with
to Timothy that he must strive, be diligent
and individual…”As strange as it seem even
(study) in presenting himself approved to
sound reasoning sometimes proves futile
God as a workman who is not ashamed in
when talking to some individuals.”
accurately dividing (handling) the word of truth. And just like Timothy we also must
Miracles & Blessings, Nellie Wosu, take us
strive to do our best to present ourselves to
th rough her journey of “Living Life with
God as one approved, a workman who need
Congestive Heart Failure,” – “I’ve always
not to be ashamed when we are correctly
been an individual who was very much on
“Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”
dividing the word of truth. It is imperative that
point and aware of what occurring in my life
we serve God with our whole heart, that our
and world, even if I didn’t like the situations
service be one of excellent knowing that God
at hand.”
2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
to not accept anything less. We should make it our goal to be a to study the word more, to
What is a dream deferred? Check out our
pray more, and be faithful when it comes the
interview with Mr. Torraine Anglin in our
understanding the word of God. The more we
Spotlight section, and how he took a leap of
study the word, the more we will be able to
FAITH!
rightly divided the word of truth. We do hope that this issue will be one of Inside this issue of ORDINARY PEOPLE, we
inspiration, encouragement and inspire you
are coming from First and Second Timothy.
to move forward in all that God has for you.
Take a look at “For Your Health” Ms. Paola
Blessings!
Tennon, write about “The Silent Epidemic of Abuse”…domestic violence or relationship
And as always, Love, Pease, and Increase!
abuse is prevalent in our society and has consumed our world. Consider This…Mr. Brabson’s “Reasoning with the Unreasonable,” Mr. Bradson shares
ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 9
WALKING DAILY BY THE POWER OF GOD BY ONIKA SHIRLEY MBA, CEO, AND FOUNDER OF ACTION SPEAKS VOLUME, INC.
“Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
Living in a troubled world causes us to be surrounded by trouble. Although as saints we are not of the world, but we are in the world. We find that trouble will knock at our doors and will attack our families just as it does those of the world. The difference in the attacks is that we have an answer. We are provided truths in the word of God to help us to stay grounded in the mist of trouble. We don’t have to lose our minds, we don’t have to be afraid and we don’t have fall out of love with those that aren’t there to help us get up when we have pushed down by trouble. We learn that we are able to stand or get up when we fall by the power of God. We must walk daily by His power because the struggle is real daily and we don’t want to be caught off guard. We should be equipped for spiritual battle of times. We must be prepared and dressed for the occasion so put on the whole armor of God. The words of our beloved Apostle Paul were penned during a time of trouble.
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Paul was in a place that no one looks forward to. He was in a Roman dungeon. This was not a pleasant time and neither was it a place where loved ones and friends were able to come by to be of any encouragement to him. He was in the mist of trouble. He was where a lot of people are today for one reason or another. Paul used his letter as the last opportunity to share a word of encouragement, to teach, to coach, to mentor, and to inspire Timothy in the hard days that he was going to face on his upcoming journey. Second Timothy applies to you and me today. We can find words of encouragement penned within the pages of God’s word that can get us through what we are facing and they can prepare us for the things will face in the future. We have faced some hard times at one point or another in this life and we have found ourselves in the mist of trouble. Trouble we didn’t sign up for. Trouble we didn’t even plan or volunteer for. If we aren’t in the mist of trouble at this present moment, we soon will be. As we read and relate to 2 Timothy, let’s observe Paul’s urgency and hide his words in our hearts as if he was speaking directly to us from his current place of pain and disgrace. Grab hold of his words and allow them to help you see that staying grounded in the mist of trouble is possible. Many have found that troubles of the world can either knock us out or strengthen our faith to stand strong and not waver. When we are grounded in the word of God and we believe that He has equipped us with truths that can sustain us in the mist of our troubles we are able to go through. We are able to stand when everything about our situation shows that we should fall. We are able to handle more than we ever thought we could. We learn so much in the mist of trouble. We find out who cares about us, we find out who our true friends are, we discover our own inner strength, we discover just how much we are able to withstand, we discover our value and we discover just how much God loves us and how must He cares about what we are going through. No matter what trouble rises up around us or against us. God promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) In the mist of trouble, we can identify who cares about us and who our true friends are.
friend indeed and in truth. We don’t have to be upset when those we thought was going to be there wasn’t, we don’t have to envy or feel a certain kind of way, nor do we need to harden our hearts. Apostle Paul shows us how to be thankful for those that are there. He shows how to appreciate the people that come to be by our side in the mist of trouble. We shouldn’t spend time worried about who isn’t there but pray for those that are. In the mist of trouble, we discover our inner strength. In the mist of trouble, we often times question our strength to go through what we are facing. We forget how strong we really are. We all need a few faithful friends to remind just how strong we are. We need them to remind us how we came through so many other obstacles and how we came over other hurdles. When you are going through it helps to have someone to just be there to encourage you to look up to the hills whence all your help comes from. Just as Paul reminded Timothy, he is reminding you and me today that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Our inner strength must come from God, not ourselves. In the mist of trouble, we discover our values and just how much God loves us. Trouble can make us feel disqualified for the different positions in which we hold in life and sometimes we even question our faith. We must be very careful of the tricks of the enemy. He wants us to feel disqualified, unvalued and unloved. God’s loves shares a different feeling. As Paul speaks with Timothy he is speaking with you and me, reminding us that we are called to holiness not because of what we have done, but because of the act of the cross through Jesus Christ. As trouble arises, I encourage you to stay grounded. You can stay grounded by talking to God, praying to God, and reading the word of God. It’s not a matter of if trouble will come it’s a matter of when. When trouble come walk in the truths of the word of God, remain humble and faithful and God will see you through. “8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NIV)
Trouble will identify our true friends. We want to make sure we are being a good friend and a ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 11
TELL IT TO VERNA EVENTS
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12 | Winter 2018
The Future Mountain Movers Leadership Development Program provides young men 5th-10th grades with the developmental skills and support system to transition from young males to positive, productive and successful Adult Men. Moving mountains seems impossible to most, but our program teaches that if you gain the knowledge, skills and confidence required you can accomplish anything, even the task of moving mountains. Visit www.damonteam50. org/fmmld-program for program registration and dates. “Future Mountain Movers made me realize that I was created to be GREAT. All I have to do now is go and be GREAT!” - Jarius
Our 501c3 Non-Profit Organization promotes the strength and abilities of youth and families by providing community -based services that empowers, enriches, and motivates each individual to face life’s challenges with confidence, competence and dignity. For more info, Please visit our Website or Email us. LaNise Wilder- Founder (423)888-1925 Info@205youthoutreachprogram.com
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ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 13
WHAT HAPPENS TO A
DREAM DEFERRED? BY VERNA V. NICKELBERRY
Unlike the Langston Hughes’ poem Torraine’s dream of being an airline pilot, did not dry up, fester like a sore, stink like rotten meat, nor sag! It exploded! That would be the day that he received his pilot license! I caught up with Torraine after one of his busy days to learn more about his dream of being a pilot and how his dream finally became a reality. 14 | Winter 2018
OPM: What inspired you to become a pilot? I had always been fascinated with aircrafts and their operation. I remember as a child going to the airport and watching large commercial jets come and go. In the 9th grade I remember seeing my neighbor ever so often come and go in his uniform and carry-on luggage bag with crew tag. One day he was sitting on his porch (which was rare)and I went over and asked what was it that he did. He told me he was a pilot for Air Jamaica Airlines. My eyes lit up. I hadn’t had any direct exposure to the aviation world, but based on what was portrayed on television there weren’t any black pilots. He shared with me
how he got started and the places he had been around the world. That one direct interaction with someone in the field opened my eyes to the possibility of being a pilot. After high school I went to Dowling College of Aviation, on Long Island N.Y. to peruse an aviation degree. After two years of study due to financial reasons I couldn’t continue the program. My family relocated to Georgia, where I completed my studies and received a Bachelors of Science, in Middle Grades Math and Social Studies. I made several attempts after college, while working a career to obtain my pilot license. I never gave up on
and Instructions from God. He was on a journey with the people to the promise land. When he saw the huge undertaking. He questioned, begged, prayed, was in deep depression, when the At the closing of 2016, my Pastor announced the theme for people came to him with concerns of how to eat and survive the next year “One More Time” Luke 5:1-6. Simon had been (Numbers 11: 1-26). God asked a simple question...”is the fishing all night and caught nothing. He was back on the land Lord’s arm too short? Now you will preparing to go home with see whether or not what I say will nothing. Jesus saw him and told come through.” I had no choice but to him to go back out and try again. AT THE AGE OF 30, 10 trust God. According to Hebrews 13:8 He obeyed. When he casted his YEARS IN A CAREER THAT “he’s the same God yesterday, today net he caught so much fish the net HAD BEEN GOOD TO ME, and forever.” If he did it for Moses, began to break and he had to get help from other boats. THE LORD CHALLENGED the People of Israel, Joseph, David, Abraham, Noah, etc. He can do it for Like Simon I had made several ME TO TRUST HIM me. attempts to become a pilot. As COMPLETELY. I got older the possibility of it My faith grew as I studied his word and becoming a reality was fading. applied it to my life. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any The Lord told me to launch out and try “One More Time.” concerns. My first flight was around mid day, I hadn’t eaten. I wasn’t passionate about what I was doing and eventually The winds were choppy and in a small single engine aircraft became frustrated. The grace had lifted and it was time to go you feel almost everything. I was hot, cold, and nauseous. After after my promise. At the age of 30, 10 years in a career that the flight I questioned if I made a mistake. had been good to me, the Lord challenged me to trust him completely. I changed my career field. Faith can be a challenging concept to grasp for many. In this day and age we rely so much on our selves, technology, and OPM: Was it hard for you to take that leap of FAITH? our own understanding. Our views and decisions we make It was a challenge to take the initial step of faith to change on our own are limited to what current information we might careers, leaving the only job I’ve had and known. I remember have. Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the confidence in what we asking God how was it I was going to pay for school, meet hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews monthly financial obligations, what’s next, etc. My church 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because was studying the bible through a year and at the time we were anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that studying the book of Numbers. Moses had gotten confirmation the dream of being a pilot.
ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 15
he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Paul was a faith mentor to Timothy and wrote to him to give guidance in leading the church. His letters were letters of encouragement and support, one we all need. My faith/trust in God out weighed my fear. I have a relationship with God for myself, a praying and supportive wife, a praying and supportive spiritual leader, family and with God on my side all things were and are possible.
gap between training the more it will cost because you loose proficiency and might have to redo a portion of the training. It was my job to be current and proficient. I would sit in my living room and go over procedures and maneuvers in my head. I did anything I could to commit, training and expectations to memory so that when it came time for demonstrating I was able to. OPM: What advice would you give to a young boy or girl who might be interested in being a pilot? If you’re interested in being a pilot I say go for it! The Aviation field is a continuously growing and exciting field. There are three main types of aviation; Civil aviation (everyday scheduled commercial flights), General aviation ( stems from for fun rides to corporate/private charters) and Military aviation. Each field provides its own unique opportunity.
OPM: Was flight school hard? Flight School wasn’t hard, but it was a challenge. It took a lot of time and focus. I submerged myself completely in the environment and culture. I chose this path, giving everything up not for it to be a hobby. Failing wasn’t an option and funds were limited. I had to make the most of every moment. To obtain a pilot license there are three FAA exams. Knowledge/written exam, Oral exam, and Practical/ Check ride. I had to be able to write, verbally explain and MY BIGGEST TESTIMONY demonstrate my understanding ISN’T OBTAINING MY of FAA regulations, weather, LICENSE (WHICH I’M aircraft systems, decision making, etc. EXTREMELY EXCITED AND
GRATEFUL FOR), IT’S
There are two common ways of being trained; Military and Civilian (part 61 or part 141).Research your options and choose a program that best fits your needs. You can become a student pilot and log flight hours at the age of 16. There are several levels of pilot license/ ratings and several endorsements within those ratings. Your training can stem from a few months to a few years based on the level of flying you want to do, but it all starts with a Private Pilot License.
The aviation field is costly; BEEN THE RENEWING OF aircraft rental plus instructing time per hour. I read my text MY MIND. book every day, every chance I got and took notes. I watched multiple YouTube videos, over OPM: Now that you have obtained your pilot license, what and over to understand each concept. My learning was my are your future plans? responsibility. Now that I have my Private rating, my next step is to receive Hosea 4:6 says “ my people perish for the lack of knowledge. my Instrument rating (in progress), Commercial rating, April 19th I was signed off by my instructor for my first solo Instructor rating, then APT. Within those ratings are several flight. It was a breathtaking and phenomenal experience. Taking endorsements to acquire. off had been easy, landing was the challenge. On that day there was so much adrenaline as I taxied onto the runway, throttled Going through this process and meeting people as I go, a up then rotated. The wheels were no longer on the ground. No majority got introduced by a relative or close family friend instructor in the right seat. It was time to apply everything I that is/was in the field. It’s a generational field and culture. My had learned. It was the most thrilling experience. This was the goal is to create opportunities of exposure to Middle and High beginning of many solo flights to come to meet requirements. school students to the world of aviation. There are so many career paths attached to this field apart from being a pilot. As Aviation training is majorly focused on safety. As a pilot in the Lord has blessed me with the experience and continues to command you’re responsible for the aircraft, its passengers, bless me as I grow, it’s my duty to pass it on. I want to start a before, during and after flight. You have to go up and get Flight School that also includes aviation mechanics catering to safely down. This means understanding every bit of any factor minorities. Until my school is established I’ll continue to take that impacts the flight. You’re a mechanic, meteorologist and kids on tours of airports, aircraft’s and on discovery flights. physician. You have to think ahead of the aircraft, know the appropriate response to any possible situation. This comes with OPM: Now give our readers some words of wisdom. time and experience. Therefore there are strict FAA currency At the start of my journey I had one main objective and that rules to abide by, which means sometimes the bigger the
16 | Winter 2018
was to receive my ratings to be a cargo pilot or private charter pilot. My biggest testimony isn’t obtaining my license (which I’m extremely excited and grateful for), it’s been the renewing of my mind. The bible says in Romans 12:2, “be not confirmed to the ways of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind than you may prove what is good and acceptable and the perfect will of God.” As I progress, this journey has become less about me and more about what I have to offer to my generation and the next to come. God has blessed us with the most valuable tool which is our mind. With our minds anything is possible! “God never made a table...or a chair. He never gave us pencils to write with or paper to write upon...instead, he gave us trees...he gives us raw resources to imagine and create specific objects we would need...” Bishop T.D. Jakes. In aviation the attitude of the aircraft is the orientation relative to the Earths Horizon. The attitude is how the aircraft is positioned: climbing, level, descending, banked left or right. Attitude in human perspective typically has a negative connotation....mean, nasty, rude. Like the attitude of and aircraft, humans have attitudes/mindsets. The Bible tells us
the types of attitude/mindset we should have. Mathew 4:18-20 There is Andrew and Peter fishing. Jesus called to them and said for them to follow him...they dropped their nets immediately and followed Christ. Their attitude of Faith displayed itself. In an aircraft it’s attitude determines it’s intentions and outcome. In order to leave the ground or go to a higher level, the attitude has to change. The mindset of the pilot has to change. The aircraft needs to be pitched up to climb. The same applies to life. You are the Pilot in Command (PIC) of your life. To climb you have to change the attitude of your aircraft; pitch up! Your attitude determines your altitude!! I pray reading this has been a blessing to you as much as it’s been to me sharing. Psalms 91 “I will lift mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help, it’s comes from the Lord.
Biography Torraine Anglin was born in Kingston, Jamaica. At the age of 18 Torraine and his family migrated to the United States with his family. Torraine attended Dowling College of Aviation, Long Island, New York, and later completed his studies at Kennesaw State University where he received his Bachelors of Science: Middle Grades Education. Torraine was employed with Target Corp. for 10 years and served in various leadership roles. Torraine is happily married to Imani Anglin of three years. Torraine D. Anglin Private Pilot Rated Certified Travel Agent Founder, Co-owner of Perfect Peace Travel
Perfect Peace Travel Office: 770-213-03333 Email: perfectpeace@perfectpeacetravel.com Facebook: @perfectpeacetravel Instagram: @perfectpeacetravel
ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 17
T RENDING NOW...
Check out “The Power Of The Seed” by Dr. Eric L. Holmes.
Independent authors seem to be on the rise and we are here to celebrate their hard work! Dr. Eric L. Holmes is a senor coordinator in the radiology department at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. His Fervor to excel and push his abilities has led him to earn an impressive number of awards at Johns Hopkins; The Edward Halle Award, The Martin Luther King Award, The Radiology Customer Service Award, and Employee of the Year. With a passion and dedication to further his education and help others through his teachings, Dr. Holmes has earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree in biblical studies and theology, and a master’s degree and doctorate in Christian education at the North Carolina College of Theology.
ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 19
MARRIAGE AT IT ’S BE ST BY PAMELA KENDRICK - WRITER, AUTHOR
I pronounce you husband & wife, you may now kiss your bride. “I introduce to you Mr. & Mrs. Unity...(say’s the pastor)and the crowd smiles, some cry, they clap and show an eagerness to share that one word that means so much {Congratulations}! Definition of congratulations- words expressing praise for an achievement or good wishes on a special occasion. As I was pondering the very word achievement for some they may not view marriage as an achievement because it’s a given choice. Just like purchasing a car, closing on a new home, graduating from college, retiring from a career all these are choices. I often find myself reflecting on the day of our celebration and as the family smiled and celebrated our union clapping and praising God for our decision to become one flesh. “And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:8
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And after the introduction we walk to the door headed out looking at the crowd of witnesses only to re-enter as husband & wife. Now it’s time to take as many pictures as possible, cut the cake, make the toast, our first dance as a married couple or should say I our first in everything being married. :) Now that you have captured that very day I see you smiling and you’re filled with joy because whether it was a chapel, community center, town hall, back yard, church, from the sky, under water, it was worth it all one of your greatest achievements to become one with your chosen mate! Reflection is good because you have to do all to keep the fire burning and there are some memories you must keep close. So whether it’s been six days or twenty seven years you are responsible for the fire to keep burning. Life will throw at the two of you trials and hardship that will try the very solid places of your union and you will have to remind each other that you are in it to stay. Sometimes
you will have to endure some hard places and that’s when your commitment to each other is put to a test that you did not ask for. It could be a loss of employment and the two incomes in your home was what it took to keep you flowing, so now here you are looking in the face of a trial and saying to each other what’s next we can’t live like this. Not willing to press because some things are intended to knock the very win out of you. You see for some depression could set in because looking for something else is not easy for everyone regardless of what you may think. Some couples will find it challenging to go after something else just the very thought of downsizing not doing those routine things could very well be the thing that tears them apart. You see life will happen married or single there are something’s we will go through. Some will start the pointing of the fingers and the need to make expressions using words that tear each other down rather than building each other up. During those trying times there should be someone the two of you know and trust from the crowd of witnesses. I just believe out of that crowd someone
loves the two of you enough to be a safe haven and will give you healthy counsel or maybe sound advice. You see the enemy wants you to be embarrassed about your challenges in marriage and to make you feel like you’re in this cycle and who cares. He takes that vulnerable place you’re in and beat up on you so you can’t see what’s next for the two of you. The situation could be an easy fix before you hurt each other with words hopefully you will humble yourself enough to talk to someone because sharing with the right person can be the next opportunity that you least expected.
powerful weapons!”
You see a closed mouth want be feed and there should be some place, or someone that will help you keep your head straight. The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy everything you have achieved together. If you are in a fight for your marriage and the sweetness seems lost and you feel hopeless just know the enemy can and will have to lose his grip if you stop fighting each other and start fighting him together. II Corinthians 10:4 For the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. “Fight the enemy together by using these three
Lord we come to let you know how much we need you in this hour. We are challenged in our very behavior to each other, we can’t seem to get past this hardship because of our differences. We trust you for your protection and guidance because you hear our honest desire to please each other and we thank you for the blessed outcome in Jesus name. Amen
Kneel- position yourself showing submission to each other and God showing humility in who he is and what he is able to do. Prayer- requesting help from God even though he knows, he wants you to come to him with those heart matters. Praise- give him the admiration even while you are waiting on something’s to manifest, speaking highly of him and giving him praise.
ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 21
For Your Health
THE SILENT EPIDEMIC OF
ABUSE BY PAOLA TENNON, RN, BSN, MBA/HCA, CCM “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
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The silent epidemic of abuse, domestic violence or relationship abuse is prevalent in our society and has consumed our world, our nation and many of our homes. Abuse does not discriminate and it crosses all levels of our humanity. It can happen to anyone; yet it is often minimized, overlooked, excused or denied. The effects of abuse can cripple the spirit, it can foster as unwillingness to forgive, and it cultivates an attitude of hopelessness. Long-term consequences of abuse can lead to co-dependency, substances abuse, and a repeat of the cycle of abuse to others. In addition, abuse attributes to the increased rates of murder and suicide as reported by national statistics. Emotional components of abuse can leave the victim feeling confused, angry, trapped and afraid. These emotions can also, lead the victim to feel that they are responsible for the abuse being inflicted by the perpetrator and blame
themselves for what is happening to them. In contrast, the abuser exhibit behaviors and traits that seems to be tolerable in today’s society. The abuser may initially be charming, but over time the abusive actions become more noticeable. If we look closely, we may find that their behaviors have escalated to the point of becoming: manipulative, disconnected, jealous, controlling, threatening with mood swings, and showing signs of insecurity where they perceive themselves as the victim. Abuser typically use these offensive and coercive behaviors to maintain power and control. Abuse is defined by Wikipedia as the improper usage or treatment of an entity, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse presents in many forms including: relationship abuse, sexual abuse, child or elder abuse, dating abuse, teen dating violence, neglect, bulling,
stalking, road rage, intimidation, technological abuse and etc. Aggressive behavior leads to verbal maltreatment, assault and physical violation causing injury, rape, unjust practices, crimes and other acts of aggression. The root causes of abuse are numerable and can lead to emotional or psychological abuse, financial or economic abuse, domestic or relationship abuse, substance abuse and may be spurred as a result of: • •
• •
negative childhood experiences of witnessing abusive actions or being a victim of violence; major life changes including divorce, caregiver stress, illness of a family member that leaves the abuser feeling left out and seeks to find control; economic circumstances including job loss, financial strain and limited options in which to seek recovery; insecurity where the abuser many feel abandon, thus increasing the risk of or escalation of the abuse.
One only needs to look at the staggering statistics that are available on multiple web sites. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) indicates the following: An average of 20 people, are physically abused by an intimate partner every minute which equates to 10 million annually. 20,000 calls are received daily to the Domestic Violence Hotline. 20% of women in the United States have been raped. Further statistics shows that: 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men are physically abused by an intimate partner, 1 in 7 women and 1 in 7 men have been stalked. Sexual assaults: 1 in 5 women and 1 in 50 men in the United States is raped during his/her lifetime. 594 gun related domestic violence fatalities are seen annually, and 1 in 3 female murder victims and 1 in 20 male victims are killed by intimate partners annually. 72% of all murdersuicides are perpetrated by intimate partners with 94% of the victims are female. The Centers for Disease Control and prevention reports that: Dating violence is a widespread public health issue that has serious long-term and short-term effects. Among high school students who dated, 21% of females and 10% of males experienced physical and/or sexual dating violence. Many teens do not report it because they are afraid to tell friends and family. Those that are victimized in high school are at higher risk for victimization during college. In addition, among adult victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, 22% of women and 15% of men first experienced some form ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 23
of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age. These statistics are very indeed troubling. It was never God’s desire for His children to abuse or to be abused. One of the primary themes found in scriptures is that of Love. Jesus commands us in John 15:12 to “love one another, as I have loved you”. What does love do? Love gives, Loves serves, Love seeks the highest good, Love spurs us to action and service. We are also instructed in Matthew 7:12 and Luke 6:31 as paraphrased: “do unto others as we would have them to do unto us”. This biblically based principal is a commandment and a moral commitment for us (humankind). We are to treat others in the same manner in which we would want to be treated.
must remember that God will help us, but we must also take responsibility and do our part to help ourselves. As we make preparations, we must first empower ourselves and seek as much information as possible, so that we can recognize what abuse is and what it is not. The Power and Control Wheel serves as a training tool and gives us a snapshot as to signs and many faces abuse. Strategies and ideas on preventing potential abuse: http://www.Mentalhelp.net
Unfortunately, many of our churches have a misconception about abuse. In some cases, victims have been told by clergy or the elders of the church that their lack of submission, their own sinfulness or their lack of faith attributed to their abuse. Abuse is abuse regardless of the type; it is unacceptable and it is wrong. It is time out for being complacent, looking the other way and accepting negative behavior. We must take responsibility for what is happening in our society and in our churches and address it for what it is. These are perilous times and all manner of principalities, persecutions and afflictions are occurring. “Men have become lovers of self and without natural affection, corrupt and spiritually blind”, 2Timothy 3:1-8. Many Scriptures in the Bible condemns violence (Psalms 11:5, 37:9, Zephaniah 1:9), they speak to verbal abuse (Proverbs 10:6, 10:11); they show that the Lord sympathizes with and comforts those who are afflicted (Psalms 18:48, 22:24, 9:9, 103:6); and they highlight the church’s responsibility to help victims and hold the abuser accountable (Hebrews 13:3, Galatians 6:2, Proverbs 31:9, 1Thessalonians 5: 11 & 14). Jesus has told us in Matthew 25:45: “...Verily I say unto you. Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me”. • Although there continues to be many barriers in the criminal justice system of holding the abuser accountable. We as the Faith Community, must send fair warning that accountability is a certainty for the abuser and their actions. And, for those that are victimized; they have God’s assurance that they are not forsaken (2Corinthians 4:8-9). God wants us to understand that “fearing people is a dangerous trap, but to trust in the Lord means safety” (Proverbs 29:25). We are to; “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, it is He that doth go with thee; He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” (Deuteronomy 31:6). So, what are we to do and how do we begin to combat the ravages of abuse? Unfortunately, not all abuse is avoidable. However, we
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•
• • • •
A modification of typical behaviors may aid in establishing boundaries; for example: If you are passive of have a low self-esteem learn to be more assertive, but not aggressive. If you have a domineering type personality you may want to seek counsel from someone whose opinion you trust to be truthful or you may want to seek professional help. As a parent, teach your children what the difference is between appropriate and inappropriate touching. Understand that it is ok to say “no” when someone is inappropriate with you. Instruct your children about talking to strangers. You should also watch your kids for signs that something has changed for the worse (behavioral, physical or personality changes that suggest something disturbing has
occurred). Don’t be afraid to ask them direct questions. • If you are dating: take precautions. Watch out for possible spiking of your drink or food. Use the buddy system, stay together, and do not take unnecessary risks such as going home with strangers or meeting them in a non-public place). • Always tell someone at home or who you trust where you are going and when you anticipate on being back. In addition, The Office of Women’s Health is an excellent resource with information on ‘Relationships and Safety Resources’: https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-andsafety/domestic-violence. This website addresses domestic
or intimate partner violence issues and it includes printable information, facts sheets, guides, videos, webinars and multiple Help Hotline Resources. Remember: Don’t be a Victim! Rather, Be a Victor!! “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble’. Psalms 46:1, AMEN.
REFERENCES/Website Resources: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention CDC Facebook Page on Violence Prevention: www.facebook.com/vetoviolence National Coalition Against Domestic Violence’s website at www.ncadv.org Stop Bullying: www.stopbullying.gov STRYVE - Striving to Reduce Youth Violence Everywhere: www.vetoviolence.org/stryve/home.html Preventing Youth Violence: Opportunities for Action http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/youthviolence/ Opportunities-for-Action.html
National Domestic Violence Hotline (NVDH) - Call: 1-800799-SAFE (7233), TTY: 1-800-787-3224, Chat Online: http://www.thehotline.org/ The Hotline answers calls 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. National Sexual Assault Telephone and Online Hotlines Call: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-bridge/: A hotline sponsored by the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. National Relationship Abuse Hotline – Call: 1800-799-7233, TTY: 1800-787-3227, http://stoprelationshipabuse.org National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – Call: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/bible_verses.html
National Dating Abuse Helpline and Love is Respect: www.loveisrespect.org or 1-866-331-9474 or text loveis to 22522
https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/preventing-abuse/
National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/ domestic-violence
National Sexual Assault Hotline - Call: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
HOTLINES and RESOURCES:
National Sexual Violence Resource Center - www.nsvrc.org
Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-HOPE. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline for free, confidential counseling, 24 hours a day:
myPlan – free app through iTunes. It helps victims of domestic violence and serves as a tool to help women in abusive relationships.
Elder Abuse: 1-800-677-1116 Call the National Eldercare locator service to locate the appropriate agency within your state to report elder abuse
(OWH) Office of Women’s Health - Call: 800-994-9662, 9 a.m. — 6 p.m. ET, Monday — Friday
Child Abuse: Each state designates specific agencies to receive and investigate reports of suspected child abuse and neglect. Child-help USA ®, 800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453), or your local Child Protective Service Agency.
Veterans Crisis Line and their loved ones - Call 1-800-2738255 and Press 1, https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/ chat online, or send a text message to 838255 to receive confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline - Call: 1-866-3319474, Text: “loveis” to 22522, TTY: 1-866-331-8453, www. loveisrespect.org:
ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 25
Gospel Music/Artists
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28 | Winter 2018
ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 29
Miracles and Blessings
LIVING LIFE WITH
CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE STAGE IV & AFIB BY NELLIE ANITA WOSU
Initially, I didn’t understand why my body seemingly was revolting against me. It was as if there were some type of underhanded host that had invaded me for reasons unbeknownst to me.
Feelings of tiredness were working me overtime. I had NO energy at all. I could sleep for hours and still awaken dogged tired. My favorite saying became “oooh child I’m worn out.”
I’ve always been an individual who was very much on point and aware of what was occurring in my life and world, even if I didn’t like the situations at hand.
And, I was worn out. I began to fatigue even the more. No matter how much rest I got, I was still exhausted. Such was the beginning of my misdiagnosed heart disease for a few years. I was told I was under stress. Well who isn’t in our great country? I worked in NYC in a male dominated field which I loved and was doing my thing, but I was not a happy camper because I couldn’t breathe. And, I most certainly didn’t know why.
Therefore, this new type of stealth adversary was getting the best of me. It would grab at me at the most inopportune and unexpected times like when taking a shower or in the middle of meetings at work. All of sudden I would become breathless and weak beyond measure.
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A barrage of questions and innuendos would be given to me. Do you do drugs? No. Do you have AIDS? No. Do you engage in random sexual partners? No. Do you abuse alcohol? No. Do you, do you, do you? No, No, NO! I am normal. Which is abnormal in today’s society. I dispel the myths that attempt to attach itself to those of my “type” i.e. “the good kind”. Yes, I’m the good kind, the kind that has two types of major medical insurance, the good kind, that we can take a myriad of tests and get paid and never give her a “real” diagnosis. Why? Because African-American women just don’t get it. Well, I’m not just your average
African-American Woman was my stinging retort! By then, the doctor, pushes himself away from his desk and looks at me long and hard. Gets up and walks out of his office leaving me sitting there. Such was the beginning of my journey with Congestive Heart Failure. It didn’t get better, it got worse. I’m an admitted “holic”, yes I’m a workaholic! Have always been…but within reason I do like to have loads of fun…the only thing was that I wasn’t able to have any fun anymore because I couldn’t breathe and was tired ALL the time. What was wrong with me? No one could tell me. And, I aimed to find out what was wrong with me. But first I would need an accurate diagnosis. This effort was hindered because I became a hospital junkie if I didn’t get sick at work and have to be “rushed” to the ER, I was at home suffocating needing to go to the ER.
Fortunately, I went to one hospital that I hadn’t gone to previously (I had been to every hospital in three counties and another state before I came upon one particular hospital which I had avoided like the plague because my mother had had a triple by-pass there in 1989 and didn’t live 24 hours after the procedure. In any event, this hospital was a mere 7 miles from my home. While there for another episode of heart failure, I stayed for about two weeks. Went home, and was back there within 1 ½ weeks. As fate would have it, they remembered me, and I came to the attention of the Heart Failure Clinic that was led by Dr. Mark Zucker and his team. They were involved with the FDA and powering up a study for CHF patients. This was a randomized 5 year study and you would need to be well enough to pass stringent
testing in order to be even considered to be placed as a possible candidate. Needless to say at Stage IV, it was difficult. And, as God would have it…I became a candidate for the ACORN CORCAP Support Device, that was in 2002. I am a living miracle by all accounts! Faith is everything in life! I have a lot of faith! I am here STILL after more than a decade; after flat lining more than three times, being pronounced dead, having been placed in a coma to save my life after the experimental open heart surgery I had had gone awry due to complications of diabetes, learning to walk again, and this was all done with no family by my side, and a very few bit players who were called friends. I lived through hell, suicidal thoughts, death, rejection, fear, anger and am now living proof that tenacity, determination, and fortitude ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 31
with 2000 lbs. of daily faith and prayer that there is such a thing as resurrection to become not merely surviving this catastrophic disease known as heart disease but thriving in an atmosphere of new life. My life is alive, my zest for living has returned 100 fold and I live by giving back to help another through my story. I am full throttle daily living as me, Nellie Anita, an Overcomer!
wish her health, success and happiness always.” Laura Adams, RN
Never did I think that I would think of this life sentence of CHF Stage IV as a gift to celebrate. But it is, for I’ve become more than myself. I am the others who are and will be like I was unsure and somewhat annoyed that MY life had become interrupted by this menacing disease which alters everything you ever held true. I’m glad I was girl interrupted. There are no longer any interruptions…even with the new diagnosis of AFIB, simply because I’ve chosen not to be defined by my diagnosis/prognosis but to define: my purpose, my place, my heart condition, which is exceedingly well!
As I enter the second decade post my experimental open heart procedure I most certainly have to say, I wouldn’t take anything for my journey. I mean that wholeheartedly truly I do. My life is vastly different than ever before. Life is more purposeful and deliberate not that I was one who was cavalier about my life. My life just simply has more meaning with every breath that I’m given in any moment of the day that I’ve been placed into. Challenges exist all the time. There are many of them and well quite frankly, gone are the days when I was diagnosed in my late thirties. I’m now an “older” teenager who is highly seasoned, alive top side on planet Earth! I am in awe that I am a miracle on any given day. It’s my choice to be such. Therefore, I am and have become such…daily, even if I become a little breathless and tired in the moment I still willingly share my gift of thriving with CHF with the all of us.
One of my Coordinators who traversed my heart journey with me during the FDA experimental open heart procedure said of me:
It’s imperative to surround oneself with a group of people that are able to encourage, uplift and inspire you in all of your efforts in the journey of living with heart disease.
“Nellie Wosu is one of the most remarkable women I have ever known. She has faced and overcome challenges in her life through sheer determination, faith and a contagious smile. Her heart disease has not defined her but rather defined her purpose. It has been a pleasure to share in her care over these past 10 years. Nellie is truly an inspiration to me and it is a pleasure knowing such a dynamic lady. I
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I have been enabled to breathe a fresh perspective on matters of the heart which impact every heart that beats. This I know is true! I wrote a book entitled “The Keeper of Me” that speaks to my journey with heart disease pre and post diagnosis. Thank you!
LOG ON TO WWW.VERNAVNICKELBERRY.COM
Consider This
REASONING WITH THE UNREASONABLE BY VANDERBILT BRABSON III, AUTHOR
A medical student serving part of
the hallway, sat him down, and politely
his internship in a mental institution
informed the patient he was alive and
encountered a patient who continually
certainly not dead.
walked the corridors of the hospital, declaring to everyone he was dead.
“Oh yes, I’m dead all right. No pulse,
Neither the staff nor the patients ever
no heartbeat, nothing! Yes sir, indeed,
paid any attention when he insisted to
I’m dead!” the man adamantly insisted.
them he was deceased. They simply just
“I’ve been dead for a very long time.”
overlooked him. Everyone, that is, except
“You’re not dead,” the intern repeated,
this one intern, who made it his business
determined to make his point. “Just look
to find out everything he could about
at yourself. You can see, smell, touch,
this particular patient who was clearly
breath, and even sat upright in that chair.
disturbed. Irritated by the patient’s daily
You’re as alive as anyone in this place.”
insistence that he was dead, this intern
“No, no, you’re wrong! I’m dead all
took it upon himself to straighten the
right. No pulse, no heartbeat, nothing!
man out so he would stop the nonsense
Been dead a long time.”
of claiming he was dead. One morning the intern stopped the disturbed man in
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The debate between the two went on for a
few more minutes, and the intern became noticeably frustrated
remarked, “Hey, how about that? Dead people do bleed!”
due to his inability to get the patient to listen to reason. This amused a couple of the staffers who sat nearby observing the discussion. In a final attempt to reason with the disturbed man,
As strange as it may seem even sound reasoning sometimes
the intern asked,
proves futile when talking to some individuals. Good old common sense may be at the very top of the menu, but there
“Tell me, do dead people bleed?”
are those times when no one seems to be ordering any. Paul, when leaving Ephesus for Macedonia, urged Timothy to stay
“How silly,” the man replied. “Everyone knows dead
behind in Ephesus in order that he may seek to put an end to the
people don’t bleed.” “But people who are alive do bleed –
false doctrine being promulgated by false teachers (1 Timothy
correct?” coached the intern, hoping for agreement.
1:1-5). Paul knew that what he was asking of Timothy would be no easy task so Paul encouraged and reminded Timothy to
“Correct,” the man said, agreeing.
stir up the gift of God within him [God’s power and strength and the courage to use it] which he received when Paul laid
To the surprise of the observing staffers, the intern quickly
hands on him earlier and prayed and blessed him. However,
pulled from his pocket a pocketknife, opened it, and grabbed the
most of us have already learnt that when we are attempting to
patient’s hand. Using the pointed end of the blade he quickly
persuade others whose minds are already steadfastly set on their
pricked the tip of the patient’s index finger. Immediately the
own agenda, even seeking to convince them otherwise with
man’s finger began bleeding. As it did, the man sat silently in
scriptural truths winds up being a very daunting task.
utter bewilderment, watching the blood drip from his finger downward onto the awaiting floor below.
You know those times, such as a father sitting down with his fifteen-year-old son attempting to explain to him why he cannot
Confident he had proven his point, the intern smiled.
borrow the family car on Saturday night, the day after receiving his learner’s permit. Times like a mother trying desperately to
“Well, what do you have to say now?”
console and convince her thirteen-year-old daughter that her feelings for Johnny, who just broke up with her, are not true
The man, in absolute amazement, slowly looked up into
love but just simple infatuation. Many of these discussions
the face of the intern and
end the way they begin—a failure to successfully reason with the unreasonable. Sharing our faith with some nonbelievers at times can be a very challenging experience even for Christians who are well prepared. Regarding the spiritual unreasonableness of nonbelievers, Paul in his letter to the Corinthian church wrote: “But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness unto him; neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned (1 Corinthians 2:14).” Nonbelievers, or what Paul referred to as individuals of the flesh [natural], lack the supernatural life which comes only by the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit in those who have truly trusted ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 35
Jesus Christ as Savior. Without this abiding inner presence of
given that it had been years since he attended one. He reminded
God, it is impossible for these individuals to discern spiritual
me again the reason he did not attend any churches was because
truths. As Christians we understand spiritual truths because
he knew more about the Bible than most preachers. He also
the indwelling Spirit of God illuminates, reveals, and opens
remarked that most preachers are not eloquent enough in their
up our understanding to the things of God. However, for
presentations for someone like him. He made a point to tell me
most nonbelievers to talk and dwell on spiritual truths is
that he reads the dictionary as a hobby. In addition to knowing
mere foolishness. In fact, to the lost this whole business of
a lot of what he referred to as “big words” from the dictionary,
committing oneself to following Jesus Christ is ridiculous.
he also let me know he could speak Latin as well.
Why? Because they lack God’s indwelling Spirit. Redirecting the conversation, I asked Luke how did people who I personally have experienced a similar situation as that of the
knew him best perceive him. He asked me what I meant. I
intern in the story. Another individual, who I will call Josh,
quickly rephrased my question.
told me of a conversation he’d had with a mutual acquaintance of ours. According to Josh, he had shared his faith with this
“You told me earlier you were right with God. Tell me, do
mutual acquaintance who I will call Luke. Josh told me that
those who know you best consider you to be a Christian?”
his experience of talking to Luke about spiritual matters was like speaking with someone from another planet. He asked me
“I really don’t care what other people think of me.
would I make an appointment with Luke and attempt to share the gospel message with him. I agreed to do so and within a
Whether they think I’m a Christian or non-Christian doesn’t
few days I had an appointment with Luke, who agreed to meet
really matter,” he answered sarcastically.
me at my home. It was a nice warm summer day when Luke arrived at my house, so we took two chairs and sat comfortably
I decided to push a little further in this area. “Tom and John are
in my front yard under the cool shade of two large maple trees.
good friends of yours. You guys hang out together all the time.
After exchanging greetings and a few pleasantries, Luke let me
Do Tom and John think you’re a Christian?”
know immediately he was already “right with God.” Luke said as a child his parents had forced him to attend church, but when
“Why they wouldn’t know a Christian if one jumped up and bit
he became a teenager, he stopped attending and never went
‘em,” he laughed. “Tom and John think a Christian is someone
back.
who reads their Bible and goes around telling everybody about Jesus Christ.”
During the course of our discussion, he made several statements like, “Most preachers can’t hold a light to my knowledge of the
“Bible reading and witnessing certainly do not make one a
Bible. Why, most of ‘em eat pork and everyone knows that’s
Christian, but these are activities each of us as Christians should
a sin!” I deliberately chose not to debate Luke over what he
be doing,” I thought to myself.
knew and did not know of the scriptures. I was more interested in attempting to get him to share with me what he considered to
“In fact,” he continued, “I’ve never met a real Christian in
be his personal encounter with the Savior. But, throughout the
all my years of living in this state.” Luke was approximately
entire conversation,
twenty-nine years old. By now the hair on the back of my neck was standing, and I certainly needed the help of the Holy Spirit
Luke continued to ignore any attempts I made to get him to
to keep Luke from knowing he had just insulted me and the
share such an event in his life. It also became evident he
myriad of great Christian witnesses I knew in our community.
believed a good offense would be his best defense against any Spirit-led assessment of his standing with God. So throughout
“Wait a minute, Luke,” I said. “Doesn’t the scripture declare
our time together he continued to attack all ministers and
that anyone who truly repents and places his or her faith in
laymen and questioned their genuineness as believers. So I
Jesus Christ and His substitutionary death and sacrifice at
asked him had he taken the opportunity to visit any churches —
Calvary becomes a Christian? Are you saying individuals who
36 | Winter 2018
have done this don’t have eternal life?”
and through the various spiritual gifts You have given to members of the church. I desire to be an effective witness
“Oh, no,” Luke said. “I’m only saying that even though they’re
for You, and I want to be what Jesus referred to as good
Christians, they’re not real Christians as I see it.” Then Luke
soil which the seeds fell among, multiplying themselves
reiterated how he had too much knowledge to waste his time,
some thirty, some sixty, some one-hundred fold. In my
sitting in some church, listening to men in pulpits who knew far
own strength and wisdom I cannot make this happen, but in
less than him.
Your strength anything is possible. Give me opportunities to share my faith, and help me to stay prepared and ready
Finally I asked, “Luke, you said yourself you believe you have
for those opportunities. I ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
all this Bible knowledge and special understanding of scripture. The Bible teaches us that spiritual gifts are given to an
“You might as well try to hear without ears or breathe without
individual for the profit of others within the body of believers.
lungs, as to try to live a Christian life without the Spirit of God
Don’t you feel you should be in church sharing these special
in your heart.” D.L. Moody
gifts of yours with others?” D.L. Moody. Moody was an American evangelist and “Oh no,” he replied, standing to his feet. “My gift is to sit at
publisher of the 1800’s. He founded the Moody Church, the
home and read my dictionary and Bible to myself.” After
Northfield School and Mount Hermon School in Massachusetts,
saying this, he politely excused himself and left.
the Moody Bible Institute, and Moody Publishers.
As he did, I prayed for Luke and thought of the story of the disturbed man and the intern, and wondered to myself should I have asked him, “Do dead people bleed?” What about you today? Ever have any experiences like that when attempting to share your faith with a nonbeliever? As believers it is incumbent upon each of us to be prayerful and remain students of the scriptures for we never know when God is going to give us another opportunity to share our faith with a nonbeliever. Pray continually that you will be the witness God has called and empowered you to be (Luke 18:1; Matthew 5:16). Study the scriptures to constantly equip yourself for service (2 Timothy 2:15; 1 Peter 3:15). In sharing your faith, stay sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. And, remember, God did not call us to be successful. He called us to be faithful. The best any of us can do is be well prepared and to plant a gospel seed or water a gospel seed already planted by someone else. The increase is up to God (1 Corinthians 3:6). If you would like to be more effective as a witness for Jesus Christ, please pray the following: Dear Heavenly Father, I know You have commissioned us as Your body of believers to go out into the world around us and take the gospel message. I also understand that everything we need in order to do that You have already provided in Your written word, through a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, through the leading of the Holy Spirit, ordinarypeoplemagazine.org | 37
Editor-in-Chief
LIVING THE FABULOUS LIFE ON A BUDGET BY SHARON E. LOCKLEAR, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
As fabulous as I am, I recently needed a Break! The real job was burning me up, out and down. My entrepreneurial efforts were becoming more like work and less than the ‘passion’ I envisioned and know exists. My house was not clean, my laundry not washed, and a pedicure was not on my Get Done List. I needed a serious break. Budget Consciousness has become my new mantra and is an absolute necessity. Could I find a mini vacation within driving distance that would restore and revitalize me? Giving up is not an option and trying is not a word in my vocabulary. When I look, I find. Mini getaway, affordable mini getaway, within driving distance. Groupon be good to me and it was. A night’s stay at Holiday Inn Resort Beach House, Hilton Head Island, SC for $118.51. I had a destination. I needed company and
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she lives in Atlanta. I left home Friday morning, drove to Atlanta, picked up Verne and headed to Hilton Head, SC. We had to eat, late lunch on the road. Imagine listening to the dialogue – Verna: What do you want? Me: I don’t know, what do you want. Verna: I don’t eat pork or beef. What is that place, right over there? Me: Freddy’s, a burger place. Verna: I like a good burger every few months. When I want a burger, I get one – I’m feeling like a burger today. The food at Freddy’s was delightful, I regret that I did not get a double or triple, the beef was very thin in my patty melt. My patty
melt was $4.80. Driving from GA to SC was uneventful; however, I don’t see very well at night, so I wore my driving prescription driving glasses (I don’t think they really helped me see any better, but…we arrived at Hilton Head ALIVE!) The resort is as beautiful as the price and check-in was smooth. The room smelled like mildew, there were fans on the first floor, so there may have been water damage at some point. When a facility is right on the beach and hurricane season has just ended…. turn on the air and ventilate! The queen size bed was almost as comfortable as my Tempurpedic, I slept well and my Buddy snored. She warned me that she forgot her CPAP, next time that will be the first question I ask when I pick her up. Saturday was Fabulous, it was about 70 degrees. We explored the beach, imagine a blue walkway from the hotel to the beach. I did not get any sand on my sandals or feet. The beach was glorious - clean, white sand as far as the eye could see and the water, the ocean was calm. I wish I could have spent the afternoon in a chair, reading a book as a mild wind blew and the fog lifted. The real adventure began as we left the beach, what to have for lunch and we decided it had to be Big Jim’s at the Robert Trent Golf Course. The chicken wing special, buy 6 get 6 free for $9.72. Verne got some sides, collard greens (vinegar nasty) and coleslaw. Still minding my budget and staying fiscally sound.
I have not ever seen a thrift store/consignment shop, bookstore or casino that I did not want to visit. We decided to go thrifting. The first thrift store/consignment shop was beautiful and had overpriced lovely shoes, clothing and accessories. Chella D is not on my return list. The Church Mouse Boutique Thrift Shop was excellent, reasonably priced clothing, furniture, shoes and accessories. I explored, sat on furniture, felt clothing and furs, drooled over costume jewelry and purchased 7 sets of cuff links for $50 (they were $73); the lady recognized me and provided a generous discount. Just fabulous and number 1 on my return list. The next two places put me in sensory overload. The antiques, furnishings and accessories were indescribable. I decorated my house five times, four poster beds, oriental screens, antique chairs, wool rugs, china, crystal and everything was affordable. I wanted to go get a UHAUL truck and load it up. Budget was still a factor and I grudgingly left VISA and American Express in my wallet. Everything was so beautiful. Both shops are on my return list – Bargains & Treasures and Michael & Co. Antiques. Total expenditure for my Fabulous budget weekend was about $250. Spending time in Hilton Head with Verna, laughing, talking, developing and strategizing our joint and individual entrepreneurial pursuits – Priceless. We are going back and ya’ll are welcome to come.
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Inspirational Words
GET A GRIP AND GUARD THAT
GOOD THING!
BY PARIS DUCKER treasure. The pattern that is laid before us is like a blueprint; and if followed promises to give us truth, justice, life affirming promises, instruction for every area of our and the ability to increase our faith and walk in love.
“Hold on to the pattern of sound teaching that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 14 Guard, through the Holy Spirit who lives in us, that good thing entrusted to you.” 2 Timothy 1: 13 Have you ever taken the time to really focus on what the above admonishment and words of wisdom imparted by the Apostle Paul to Timothy really means? We are instructed to hold on to the sound pattern and to guard the good thing(s) that have been entrusted to us. Hold fast to the pattern of sound teaching or sound words means that we are to to get a good grip, remain tightly secured and not let them be taken away from us. The word pattern is defined as a system, a method, order and arrangement. God’s word is the pattern that He created in the form of words that we are to hide in our hearts, guard them as a highly priced
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We are bombarded daily with the idea that humanism, spiritualism, atheism and self-talk are equal to God’s word. Let’s be honest, it is probably easier follow those “alternate truths” because there is not much requirement or effort required. If you don’t want to do it then you don’t have to; you are free to “do you” and not be accountable or guard the teaching you received. Beware and be certain that you that you are getting a grip on the true word that gives life to your soul, marrow to your bones, renews your mind and increases your faith in Christ Jesus. These living words are freely given to you that you might learn to love, walk in love, receive, accept and show love; all of which are in Christ Jesus. Titus 1:9 holding to the faithful message as taught, so that he will be able both to encourage with sound teaching and to refute those who contradict it. What has been entrusted to you that you are holding loosely? Have you discarded your good thing due to offense, distrust, exhaustion, ambivalence or even disobedience? What made it so easy for you to drop your good thing by the wayside? When did you decide that your good thing was/is too cumbersome
and just not worth your time? How easy was it for you to drop your guard and not hold fast to that which was deposited in you to minister to others? Why did you stop speaking life into your situation with the words that were given to you? Let’s be transparent and own up to the truth – at some point in our lives we have all either came close or actually lost grip of the good thing. Isn’t wonderful that even when we drop our guard; the pattern remains the same. 1 Chronicles 29:19 – All [this, said David] The Lord made me understand in writing by his hand upon me, even all the works of this pattern. Holy Spirit is our keeper, helper comforter, GPS, voice of reason and speaks for us when we cannot speak for ourselves lives in us and helps us keep a firm hold on that good thing that was entrusted to us. Rely and utilize the helper who is so willing to help us get a grip! If you have lost your grip on the good thing; remember it is not too late for you. Resolve that you WILL do what the Apostle Paul reminds us to do. 2 Thess. 2:15 With all these things in mind, dear brothers and sisters, stand firm and keep a strong grip on the teaching we passed on to you both in person and by letter.
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