ORDINARY PEOPLE Magazine - Sept. 2022 |Vol. 13 | Issue 39

Editor-in-Chief

Silence

BY SHARON E. LOCKLEAR, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Proverbs 10:19 NIV Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.

Quiet Silence Still

Hushed Mute Peaceful

Reticent Inaudible Taciturn

Noiseless Soundless Speechless

When a lot of talking is done, without thinking, problems often arise. Conversations do not usually start out to be malicious; however, we sometimes say things that should not be said, divulge information that should not be shared. Gossip when we should be silent or refer the person or persons to the discussed person or simply stated: We will not discuss anyone who isn’t present.

no desire to hear about GOD, Jesus or Christianity.

If you have never been the topic of a group of church folk, you are truly Blessed. For those of us who have been the discussion topic and learned – we have a unique sense of pain. We do not expect gossip mongers among our Christian brethren.

Unfortunately, it exists and is prevalent in some settings. And it is Wrong.

Loose church lips sink ships and cause emotional pain and suffering. If we cannot help, we should not cause anyone pain and suffering as a result of our words. Sticks and stones may break bones, words are everlasting and sometimes break spirits, infect minds and cause mental and emotional agony.

The church is or should be a safe place, filled with Christian love and acceptance. Sometimes that is the exact opposite, church is not safe, is not filled with love or acceptance and many people have been damaged and have permanently left church. Christians and church people have hurt, traumatized and victimized people, individually and collectively.

I would like for each of us to think about how we want to be treated, how we desire to be regarded by our Christian Family and think about others.

Do you want more for yourself than you are giving others? Are you guilty of talking about someone with another or others? If it’s not uplifting, positive or beneficial - BE QUIET. Silence is still acceptable.

Was that the intent, I sincerely hope not. A lot of those people will never come back to church, have

Sharon Locklear

2 | September 2022

As Christians, we have a different standard, a higher standard – we are charged to live in the world and not be of the world. Many are failing to embody and live up to the standard. We are treating our Christian brethren like they are treated by worldly people.

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departments Founder and Editorial Director Verna V. Nickelberry Editor-In-Chief Sharon Locklear Art Director Rushun Wiseman https://creavolutionarts.com Contributing Writers Vanderbilt Brabson Jeanette Chestnut-Chester Paola Tennon Photographers Kimberly Taylor Kendall Elem “Advertise With Us” Please Contact Us At (770) 7670649 O.P. Magazine Mail 2624 Santa Monica Dr, Atlanta Ga, 30318 (770) 767-0649 http://ordinarypeoplemagazine ORDINARY PEOPLE MAGAZINE is a quarterly publication and is distributed in Atlanta, GA, Memphis, TN; Knoxville, TN; Matteson, IL.

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contents September 2022

02 ON THE COVER 08 12 JUST TO ENCOURAGE YOU IN THE SPOTLIGHT 16 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Silence

LoTarsha Dillard

Dr. Iyanuoluwa Odebode, Ph.D. CEO@Zeitios

24 FOR YOUR HEALTH 28

GOSPEL MUSIC/ARTISTS James Earl Wilson

Finding God’s Comfort in the Midst of Your Journey Through Grief

All rights reserved.Reproduction in whole or in part without the founder/editor’s consent is strictly prohibited. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the positions or views of the editor. The publication of any advertisement in the issue does not constitute an endorsement of the advertiser’s products or services by the publication. © 2022 Ordinary People Magazine VeMaShe’ Enterprise LLC

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36 CONSIDER THIS 42 SMALL BUSINESS CORNER 48 INSPIRATIONAL WORDS 51 FROM WITHIN...

53

MIRACLES AND BLESSINGS Thank You, Mother Part 3

Last and Final Words

PENDLOVE INC.

Psalms

Verna V. Nickelberry

16 08 28

36 42

48

51

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 7

On The Cover

L O TA R S HA

DILLARD Mrs. LoTarsha Dillard founder Divine Divas Academy, Inc., to address the needs of at-risk teens in Murray, Kentucky and surrounding areas, 13 years ago, while furthering her education at Murray State University, of which she is a graduate, earning a Bachelor of Science in Organizational Communication with a certification in NonProfit Leadership and Community Services.

LoTarsha has seen first-hand that empowering women and girls can bring transformational improvements in health and prosperity of families, communities, and societies.

With more than 20 years of experience in youth development, Mrs. Dillard has developed the reputation of being a “social emotional and responsibility” coach for teens and women of all ages. She is an advocate for children, youth, and women to empower, educate, and equip in the areas of domestic violence, conflict resolution/management, confidence, retention, and soft skills. She coaches concepts and principles with the

8 | September 2022

purpose of empowering her audience with tools to build, to empowered and to implement self-worth.

Divine Divas Academy, Inc. has served over 20,000 people across the Kentucky, Tennessee, and Mississippi areas. Since their initial launch (May of 2014) in Memphis, TN, Divine Divas Academy have served 10,000 students with an 88% success rate in their educational, personal, and spiritual journeys. While they help children from ages 9 to 22, most of the children who receive ongoing services are between 12 and 22.

Mrs. LoTarsha states, “we are a family made up of mothers, wives, sisters, and friends that believes it is our duty and our responsibility to give back to those who lack self-esteem, confidence, love, food, toiletries, school supplies, and/or uniforms as well

as emotional support. We provide personal and financial services to include financial literacy and financial support for the basics like groceries, clothing, mortgage, rent, utilities, and vehicle payments. We collaborate with community partners to provide backpacks for children filled with supplies as well as backpacks to domestic violent survivors and homeless women with a set of clothing, hygiene products, and blanket. We understand their unique needs and are committed to assisting them with their successful integration into higher education and career fields. We conduct blanket drives, uniform drives, hygiene, and toiletry drives. We partner with several organizations to feed the homeless and so much more. We love our youth, we love the women in our community and we love to serve”.

Community Service ~ Youth Advocacy ~ Mentoring ~ Coaching.

Mrs. LoTarsha Dillard is currently working to obtain a Master’s in Human Leadership and Development.

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 9

Letters to the Editor

Letters to the

EDITOR I have enjoyed reading your magazine and seeing the growth. I especially love the “For Your Health” article. It’s very informative.

Thank you so much!

- Anonymous Thank you for the great work that you are doing with thisvawesome magazine. When I order a copy I read it from frontbto back!

What a great idea a magazine about ordinary people!

- Mark The article titled “Just To Encourage You” is very uplifting. Min. Jeanette ChestnutChester does a great job at explaining the scriptures!

- Amber

10 | September 2022

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Our Community Health Advisors provide education, outreach, and information to men and women, particularly in the area of cancer prevention.

They encourage people to practice early detection of colon, breast and cervical cancer while it is in the most treatable stages.

To find out more about our Community Health Advisor program , please contact the American Cancer Society at 1.800.227.2345.

Just to Encourage

J U S T TO EN C O URAGE YOU

BY MINISTER JEANETTE CHESTNUT CHESTER The truth about Ruth!! What can we learn from her character?

Ruth as we know was a widow who made a valiant plea with her mother-in-law to accompany her to the land of Judah. Ruth was adamant that wherever her mother-in-law Naomi went, that was where she would go as well. But is this a test of the character of Ruth or is it a spotlight on the character of Naomi?

Naomi had lost both her sons as well as her husband and now she was alone with daughters

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that had no husbands and she was also a woman without a husband. In the conversation between the women, we learn that Naomi has given the woman the opportunity to leave Moab and return to their hometowns. But that wasn’t the desire of Ruth, she even pleaded with Naomi to not send her away.

This is part of the conversation between the two of them from Ruth 1:16. But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you.

For where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to

me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” 18. And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.

This is such a tremendous declaration! Remember that Ruth was a Gentile and Naomi was Jewish.

Ruth had met her husband in Moab. The Moabites were historically regarded as the perpetual enemy

honor. God honors these qualities. Ruth remained faithful, and loyal to her aging mother-in-law, despite having no legal obligation to do so, after all Naomi was a Hebrew and Ruth was a Moabite. Where did Ruth, this non-Hebrew learn such character and trust along with loyalty and integrity? Was it from her deceased husband? Was it from Naomi or the other Jewish women of the

“We remember that the Lord also commands us to “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Proverbs 19:20.” of the Israelites, “God’s Chosen People.” However, they were married, and the Bible says that they were married for about 10 years, and they lived with their husbands in the land of Moab. The Book of Ruth does not say that they had children, which is why I believe that Naomi suggested that the women return to their families.

community? There is no certain answer for this.

We do know that Ruth remained faithful in a time when it was not necessary for her to do so. The fact that Ruth displayed these character traits were not missed by the Lord. The Lord El-Roi, is the God who sees all, and He was pleased with the treatment of Naomi from Ruth.

In that day, it was common if the wives lost their husbands and had no children, then the brother would be obligated to marry the widow to carry on the family name, but in this case, there were only the two sons and both died. Naomi informed the woman that they were young enough to remarry and have sons and daughters with new husbands, since she was now well advanced in age and would not be giving birth any more sons.

The Bible says in 1 Peter 5:5 that “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

The thing about Ruth is that her relationship was one of love and honor for her mother-in-law, there was mutual affection. What we see as one on the character qualities in Ruth is loyalty. Naomi has lost both sons as well as her husband. Tradition dictates that the daughters-in-law had no obligation to stay with her. The other daughter-in-law, Orpah wanted to stay, and she was rebuked by Naomi to leave, and that’s what she chose to do. But not Ruth! The Bible says that Ruth clung to her and refused to leave her.

What was the relationship between these women?

I believe it was one of mutual love, respect and

This is the exact attitude Ruth displayed. She took the advice of the older Naomi and did not balk at her suggestions. Ruth’s character preceded her conduct in this situation. Her faithfulness preceded her fruitfulness.

We have today a younger generation that is not quick to display such qualities thereby causing unnecessary issues for themselves.

We remember that the Lord also commands us to “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” Proverbs 19:20.

Ruth illustrated that when we focus on doing what is right, God will bless the fruit of our labor. Ruth did not look around to see what everyone else was doing, not at all! She went to work! She was not ordinarypeoplemagazine | 13

one to intentionally bring attention to herself. So, what was it that made her stand out? Her work ethic for one thing. Remember, that when they arrived in Bethlehem it was the beginning of the barley harvest season. She saw that there was work that she could do, and she asked Naomi for permission to join the gleaners who were working in the fields. Naomi agreed and Ruth went to work. But what made her standout? I’m sure along with the fact that she had a hard work ethic, her manner of dress and her tenacity of joining the other gleaners caught the eye of the owner of the field. Boaz, the owner of the field didn’t know her, he had no idea who she was or where she came from, but like any good business owner, he paid attention and he inquired.

Most managers are not really concerned with who’s doing the work, they are only interested in the bottom line. Boaz displayed kindness and modeled excellent leadership in this situation. He was concerned for the safety of this young woman.

Boaz showed himself as a man who loved God and acknowledged Him. When he greets his staff in this manner from Ruth 2:4- And behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem. And he said to the reapers, “The Lord be with you!” And they answered, “The Lord bless you.” This speaks volumes! It is Proverbs 3:5-6 come to live! Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. He acknowledged the Lord as he came into the workplace. And the Lord did indeed direct his path as well as his attention. His attention was drawn to the young widow who was working in the fields, not interacting with the others and he was drawn to her vulnerability and I would presume that he felt a certain protectiveness toward her.

Ruth, “Now, listen, my daughter, do not go to glean in another field or leave this one, but keep close to my young women. 9. Let your eyes be on the field that they are reaping, and go after them.

Have I not charged the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink what the young men have drawn.” This such a profound statement because here we see that Boaz is a type and shadow of the Lord Jesus as our protector. Indeed, most importantly as our Kinsmen Redeemer.

This statement made by Boaz to Ruth “And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink what the young men have drawn,” is a beautiful illustration of John 4:14, But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” This eternal life is indeed part of the history of Boaz and Ruth, for through the union of these two people we get a complete picture of loyalty, trust, commitment, redemption and reward. God rewards the integrity and loyalty as well as the unselfish commitment of those He leads. We see that Ruth was not a pushy person, she was willing to hear and submit. Her attitude was one of reverence to Naomi and she was rewarded with one who was also willing to sacrifice for her. So the truth about Ruth, is that she represents us as people in need of a savior, Boaz represent for her the Kinsman- Redeemer. A Kinsman-Redeemer is one who “act on behalf of a relative who was in trouble, danger, or need.” We were in danger on eternal damnation, however through Boaz and Ruth, we have obtained a linage that came from a Hebrew man marrying a Gentile woman, causing the line of Jesus Christ to be a blended family!

This includes us! Hallelujah!

Ruth 2:5-9 shows us this: Then Boaz said to his young man who was in charge of the reapers, “Whose young woman is this?” 6. And the servant who was in charge of the reapers answered, “She is the young Moabite woman, who came back with Naomi from the country of Moab. 7. She said, ‘Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves after the reapers.’ So she came, and she has continued from early morning until now, except for a short rest.” 8. Then Boaz said to

14 | September 2022

Blessings of love and peace

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Hold God’s vision for you above any doubt, fear, or hesitation. The journey can be long and scary, but if you set credible, manageable goals for your success and allow God’s voice to guide you, you can break down the walls of negativity to build up your confidence and build up your business.

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Ms. Nickelberry currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia

In The Spotlight

DR. IYANUOLUWA ODEBODE, PH.D. CEO@ZEITIOS

BY OPM Living through challenges in our lives is painful; figuring out how to deal with those challenges is one thing but turning those challenges into breakthrough opportunities is so rewarding.

I could have chosen to allow the unfortunate circumstances to cause me depression and quit.

Instead, I decided not to give up, but to continue to press on, which made a difference. I grew up in Nigeria Africa, started my bachelor’s in computer science at the University of Ilorin and in spite of a lot of difficulty and challenges chose to continue to push on.

positive perspective. I decided I wanted to use my career to contribute to society.

After losing a close family member, I was left with several questions. These questions set me up for life’s success and made me look at life from a

For more information, about how I turned my challenges into motivations, feel free to listen to TEDx talk.

16 | September 2022

Because of this experience, I chose a MSc in Bioinformatics and a Phd in Information Systems.

With this, I take the world’s complex problems and utilize artificial intelligence and machine learning to solve them. I support Innovation projects by identifying and researching cutting-edge & emerging technologies in the AR (Augmented Reality), VR(Virtual Reality) & MR(Mixed Reality) space.

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 17

“I was interested in solving drug repositioning, because I saw the way those that were sick in my immediate family felt being sick.”

Data proved to be an unlimited source of power in my quest to solve real-world problems. Whenever I was bothered by a question or couldn’t answer one, I’d ask whether there was any existing data that could help me.

Usually, I find the answer after several hours of digging. Based on my experience with AI and data, I discovered we can make major changes in the world and transform lives. And that became my mission. How do we identify complex problems and use the power of AI to solve them?

I set out on a mission to raise 1 million data scientists. While doing so, I began teaching in college and took advantage of every opportunity to mentor the young generation of data scientists.

I was able to do that at UMBC, Wittenberg and some other colleges. And I still continue to do that in some high schools.

Also, I decided I was aiming to create a platform for those scientists to continue to flourish and grow. I was hoping to create an opportunity for those data scientists to get hired. Founded Zeitios, an AI/ML consulting firm that helps companies use data to transform their industries. It also helps organizations drive innovation through artificial intelligence and machine learning.

Zeitios uses existing data or collects data to identify bottlenecks within a system. In addition, it identifies the costs of such problems and suggests ways to address them.

What was one of the most interesting projects you worked on as a doctoral student?

18 | September 2022

I was interested in solving drug repositioning, because I saw the way those that were sick in my immediate family felt being sick. I decided to focus on diseases and how AI/ML can be used to solve them. I personally examined diabetes, prostate cancer and breast cancer. I thought about exploring some other possibilities, so I studied rhabdomyosarcoma.

Rhabdomyosarcoma is a type of cancer that is connected to soft tissue, connective tissue or bone. Every year 350 children are diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. Most of the kids diagnosed with this disease are under 10 years of age. In spite of intensive conventional approaches to treatment, patients still face high risks from this aggressive disease. The need to gain understanding and insight into this disease can help the design of therapeutic agents. To understand this mechanism, we will use a multimodal network approach. Our method utilizes a co-clustering approach using multimodal networks to analyze the rhabdomyosarcoma network. The rhabdomyosarcoma network is

processes, maximizing efficiency, measuring risks, driving strategic advantages, increasing customer engagement, predicting trends, and speeding the process of research.

I have also supported Innovation lab projects by assisting several organizations in identifying and researching novel & emerging technologies in the AR (Augmented Reality), VR(Virtual Reality) & MR(Mixed Reality) space.

He is an expert in developing algorithmic systems in the health, finance, cybersecurity & food space. He is an entrepreneur, innovator and scientist, whose passion is to help people and change the world positively. He is the co-host of a podcast show available on Spotify called the AI Innovation Space sponsored by Ellumen and a machine learning expert. He is the CEO of Zeitios a company he founded recently to address AI/ML issues.

Tell us more about Zeitios?

composed of several heterogeneous networks, such as gene-pathway, pathway-drug, and gene-drug.

This clustering approach is intended to identify potential candidates for rhabdomyosarcoma.

Identifying drugs that could treat this disease was the ultimate goal of this project.

Still practicing machine learning and data science?

Yes I have built novel algorithms in the health, finance, cybersecurity & food space. I am also an entrepreneur, innovator and scientist, whose passion is to help people and change the world positively. I am co-host of a podcast show available on Spotify called the AI Innovation Space sponsored by Ellumen and machine learning expert. I am the CEO of Zeitios a company I founded recently to address AI/ML issues. I take the world’s complex problems and utilize artificial intelligence and machine learning to solve them. I have applied this technique and method in assisting businesses in automating their

Zeitios is focused on machine learning and AI, enabling our clients to build custom end-to-end solutions that solve real world problems and deliver meaningful outcomes. Data-driven business success is what we aim to bring to our clients.

As a machine learning consulting service provider, we use the Agile process to dive deeply into the business problems of our clients and help them make machine-driven systems that learn on their own to achieve outstanding performance.

Our machine learning engineers focus on the development of more profound self-learning solutions. Such systems are capable of performing well on unstructured data and giving a highly accurate output.

Our Zeitios helping communities around?

We saw that there was a lack of representation in the AI/ML industry. In the AI/ML space, we hoped to be the ones who helped people get started.

Zeitios works with high schools and colleges and helps to introduce agile methodologies and approaches to develop applications. This is so that young individuals can get up to speed with ordinarypeoplemagazine | 19

development and coding before they start working for people in the industry.

While in Baltimore, we had a team of over 40 volunteers who sacrificed their time and lives to support the needs of the homeless in the city.

We hosted workshops, events, and programs that supported the community. We worked with several organizations within the city to accomplish the tasks of making the community a better place. I decided we could take the same approach to teach and help people with coding. Later, we served several shelters, leading the discussion to learn more about the needs of the less privileged in the area.

We moved from our location and setup a similar event at our current location. It was called the Light the City event in Springfield. An event or gathering intended to bring hope and support to Springfield. We work with organizations such as Inside Out Youth, Love Pursuit International, and Revive Ohio to host this event. Our goal is to provide the locals with resources they can use to explore the environment.

As a result, our company reached the semifinals of the Springfield hustle competition. This was a business competition where we presented the idea of using our company as a way to help students become skilled in coding. It gave them a chance to work in the technology field. As our influence and impact continue to grow in this area.

Tell us about that: Connected with Dr Calisha and setup a platform known as WiredHope that offers hope to people by rewiring the mindset and building hope for the future generation. WiredHope uses evidence-based practices that combine mental health education with holistic mind-body practices like meditation, story-telling, somatic movement, and mindfulness.

In response, the model helps to decrease anxiety, depression, and anger while promoting relaxation, healthy emotion regulation, and positive wellbeing.

We decided to use the wiredhope model in our work to ensure students stay ahead of evolving technology. In addition, we helped them to be

20 | September 2022

free in other areas of their mental health as well.

We have also started working with organizations such as Schulls, Blackintech and more. We have worked with students from several universities and high schools and continue to work with these schools. Our goal is to create opportunities for black and brown communities by creating a system powered by responsible artificial intelligence to ensure fairness in the distribution of opportunities.

The WiredHope Model uses FITCARE model.

F represents Family dynamics: During this discussion participants will ID and define family for themselves and embrace or release any thoughts, feelings or emotions using breath work.

I represents Identity: The facilitator will follow the discussion/practice/reflection format during this session.

T represents Trauma: During this session the facilitator will guide participants through a relaxation exercise while helping them ID conditioned and false selves that have been created due to life experiences and trauma using body movement, deep breathing exercises, and self-guided storytelling. C represents Culture: Participants will continue to build up relaxation skills using breath work while discussing culture and its impact on their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

A represents Access: Participants will ID current needs/wants within themselves while also identifying action steps needed to gain access. The goal of this session is to help participants validate wants/needs while also learning emotion regulation and relaxation while navigating successes and disappointments. R stands for Recovery and E represents Education. Our goal is to continue to spread the message of hope and financial freedom to the world.

Any challenges you have faced along the way?

I have faced several challenges that tested my abilities to keep moving forward. The entrepreneur journey isn’t that for the fainthearted and I remember my first presentation about my business to a couple of friends in business, I was literally laughed, I was told my presentation was very poor and I remember speaking to my business mentor

(Aaron Clark) who understood what I was doing.

He had asked me the question and the question was the people you spoke to how many businesses have they built? My answer was none and so he asked why I was paying so much attention to it. Throughout my life, I’ve learned to surround myself with people who understand my space and who are willing to give me advice that pushes me forward. It was very critical who I surrounded myself with and whom I listened to.

I didn’t pay attention to those that told me it was impossible. I continued to push the limits and even though it wasn’t a straight road I learned a lot in the process that helped me grow and learn.

travel,” says Dr. Suess. I have read several books through-out my entrepreneurship journey and a lot of them have been extremely helpful as it pertains to certain aspects of my business.

I will mention two of them that have significantly helped me in times when it was really difficult to figure things out. The first is Clock Work by Mike Michalowicz and the second is Built to Sell by John Warrillow. They both teach about how your business can continue to function without you having to touch every piece of it. It’s basically designing your business to run automatically. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to build a business that runs by itself.

Any book or resources that have helped you?

“The more you read, the more things you will know, the more you learn, the farther you will

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 21

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"We Create Opportunities For Others"

Gospel Music/Artists

G OSP E L R EC O R D I N G A R T I S T

JAM E S EARL

WILSON

Simply put, James Earl Wilson is a walking testimony. Just the fact that he is still in the land of the living is a testament to the enormous favor of God on his life. It’s also a powerful witness to the Father’s amazing grace. James’ many brushes with death are unexplainable if it were not for the fact that God had – and still has – a plan for this Gospel artist’s life. Born on the “wrong side of the tracks” in The City by The Bay, James found music as an escape, a way to cope with the harsh realities of his existence. His remarkable talent for singing and songwriting caught the attention of R&B and Hip Hop Legend Teddy Riley, during the 90s when he was forming what we now know as the GRAMMY Award-Winning Group, Blackstreet. But God’s plan was still in place and the Lord wanted James to use his gift for His glory. Groomed by his former pastor, the legend, the late

24 | September 2022

Andrae’ Crouch and having been blessed with the opportunity to share the stage with Gospel greats Daryl Coley and Fred Hammond, James has been active in music ministry for years now. With a golden voice reminiscent of the late Lou Rawls and songwriting that can stand toe to toe with the best of them, James Wilson’s awe- inspiring talents are on full display in his latest single, “Lord So Amazing”.

Hailing from San Francisco, James was one of ten children. His family life was troubled, and sadly, his father was murdered when James was 13. After his death, James’ mother had a difficult time providing a home for the children. Although the family did attend church weekly, as a teenager, James wasn’t a believer. But even in the worst of times, music gave solace. James, his brother and his sister would sing constantly; many said that they sounded like The Temptations.

But the love of music didn’t stop James’ life from spiraling out of control. In his early twenties, he became addicted to drugs and alcohol. He overdosed and nearly died, but he credits God for saving his life. Hitting rock bottom, he prayed to God to take the taste of the drugs and the drink away, and instantaneously, the addictions were gone. In that moment, God not only took the desire away for drugs and alcohol; the longing for cigarettes left as well. But that wasn’t the end of his trials and his life on the street; it also wasn’t the end of miraculous encounters. He’s plunged from the top of a three-story building and walked away. He’s been shot at and still can’t explain how the bullet missed. He’s been stabbed in the back and didn’t heed the paramedics’ advice to go to the hospital; he walked around with a life-threatening wound until days later, he finally arrived at a hospital only to be told that if he had gotten there an hour later, he would have been DOA. He’s been in George Floyd’s shoes; a police officer put a knee to his temple which resulted in James having an out-of-body experience. That one soul-shaking

experience – and his time behind prison walls – was enough to make him realize that if he didn’t straighten up, he would be separated from the Lord for eternity. It was behind prison walls where he committed his life fully to the Lord.

It’s that commitment that drives him to create God-breathed songs to share with the world.

His debut project, There’s No One Like Jesus, was released in 2019, including songs like the inspirational title tune, the track “Marching Into Zion” and the declarative “Jesus Has The Power”.

Other songs like “Celebrate Jesus” and “Walk with Jesus” continue to showcase this artist’s love for the Lord. Moving tunes like “Put Your Trust In God” and “God Is In Control” make it clear that James is firm in his faith in God. His most recent release, “Lord So Amazing,” is a tune that centers on the awesomeness of God, something James has witnessed firsthand. The mellow yet inspirational ballad showcases the artist’s smooth and uplifting delivery. James penned the song himself. When asked about his songwriting and his mention of the Savior in every song, he says that’s intentional.

“I always want to include God in my songs,” James says. “Some choose to use ‘He’ and ‘Him’ in their lyrics, but I want people to know – when they hear my songs – that I am talking about Jesus.”

A current resident of Oakland, CA, the ordained minister of St. Paul AME Church in Berkeley, CA, is determined to share the message of Christ with anyone who will listen. He knows that without God, he would have been a lost cause. A husband, father and grandfather, James is relentless in his role as an evangelist and minstrel.

“I am not in it for the money; I just want to touch lives,” he says. “I just want them to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.”

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 25

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For Your Health

F i n d i ng G od’ s C o mf ort in th e Mi d s t o f Yo ur J o u r n e y T h r o ug h G r i e f

BY PAOLA TENNON, RN, BSN, MBA/HCA, CCM An online article from John Hopkins Medical based in Baltimore, Maryland, gives an overview on grief and loss. It states that grief is a natural human response to the loss of a loved one and it can show itself in many ways. It further states that grief moves in and out of stages from disbelief and denial, to anger and guilt, to finding a source of comfort, to eventually adjusting to the loss.

Moreover, the challenge of accepting death and dying as the end stage of life is what the grieving process is all about’ (8). It is normal for both the dying person and the survivors to experience grief.

Because grief is devastating and all consuming, we begin this article by reviewing current statistics on grief and bereavement; some of which yield disturbing challenges to addressing grief in this

28 | September 2022

country. Although, the prevalence of grief in the U.S. is unclear; according to The Recovery Village Drug and Alcohol Rehab Facilities, about 2.5 million people die in the United States annually, each leaving an average of five grieving people behind. They further indicate that It has also been estimated that 1.5 million children (5% of children in the United States) have lost one or both parents by age 15. There is also a report by the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model, CBEM, which suggest that it is approximated that 5.6 million or 1 in 13 children in the U.S. will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. They have identified this as a critical issue in our nation that has been long overlooked and can lead to profound stress and adversity that can curtail a child’s development. Unaddressed childhood grief and

trauma can lead to short- and long-term difficulties including decreased academic performance, mental health issues, and early mortality (2). Data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) U.S. Census Bureau’s July 1, 2021, reported that between 2020 and 2021, deaths increased by 0.82%, (3). There is also an article by the Guardian that addresses America’s rush to return to normalcy and its impact on the grieving process (1).

The focus of this article is primarily on those who have lost loved ones to the dreaded virus, Covid-19 over the last 2 plus years. They state that worldwide Covid death toll has surpassed 6 million lives; and in the US, nearly a million people have succumbed to the virus. This is more than the number of people who died during the civil war. The concern pointed out in this article is the belief that people have been robbed of the time to grieve their loved ones who have died of Covid in a rush to get back to normalcy. Finally, it has been estimated that about 9 million people are grieving a Covid loss, and that an average of nine close relatives have been left bereaved for every Covid death in the US. This also means that there

are 291 million people who are not grieving (1).

These statistics are staggering and should cause one to give pause.

Scripture tells us that; To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance, Ecclesiastes 3:1-4. This chapter in Ecclesiastes, emphasizes the emotional aspect of mankind and the associated actions, both negative and positive, that one experiences throughout life. In these verses we find words that can be associated with the process of grief. The subject of grief is a topic seldom addressed with families and within the community until someone dies. The journey through grief is a process that affect us all at some point in our lives. It is a topic of great significance because it can be unpredictable, and even dangerous if not recognized or addressed.

Consequently, its intensity is so varied and can manifest itself physically, emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually with long ordinarypeoplemagazine | 29

lasting effects in some cases. Grief is defined in the Webster’s New World College Dictionary 4th Edition as: an intense emotional suffering caused by loss, disaster, misfortune; acute sorrow, or deep sadness. For some, the intensity of grief may be brief, while others may experience what is known as ‘prolonged grief disorder’ which may linger for years and may require counseling or supplemental assistance and support. Holidays and special days may also be especially difficult even years later.

Although grief is not always associated with death but loss as a whole, the intent of this article is to bring awareness and clarity to the subject of grief as it relates to the loss of life, in an effort to help in the understanding of the grieving heart. The focus

been prolonged and had not yet subsided. This is evident in her response in Ruth 1:19-21, when she returned to her home in Bethlehem and the people there recognized her as Ruth. In her response to them she said ‘Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the Lord hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?’ Naomi believed that the Lord had abandoned her and had brought calamity upon her life. With this description of Naomi’s dismay, one could conclude that she was displaying signs of prolonged grief. Dr. Kenneth J. Doka, author of ‘Grief is a Journey’ indicates one

“Hebrews 9:27-28 tells us that; “It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.” Therefore, we must be intentional when seeking God and taking steps towards encouraging ourselves as we acknowledge our true feelings no matter how painful they may be. ” of this article is on those who have experienced the loss of a loved one to the nemesis, Death. It is my desire to share key points that will help ease the challenges and aid in identifying coping strategies that can be utilized as you make your journey through the grief process.

The reference scriptures for this article comes from the book of Ruth chapter 1. Typically, when we read or hear scripture related to the book of Ruth, the primary focus is on Boaz and Ruth.

However, the focal point of this article is centered on Naomi who seems to be in the midst of her journey through the grief process resulting from having to leave her homeland due to a drought, the death of her beloved husband and the death of both of her sons. Although, each of these occurrences happened over a period of time, there was still the perceived challenges she expected to experience as a widow. Her grieving process had

30 | September 2022

reality about grief and that is that there is simply no timetable. It is not like an illness in which the course of treatment can be estimated. He further states that there is no way to predict its course or time or when, where or how it will change you because we all are different. In coping with grief and loss, experts suggest that; although living through the loss of a loved one is a universal experience, the experience, and the way we cope differ. In addition, Psychotherapists suggest that grief is not a problem to be solved, but a process to be lived through (4). Furthermore, the Mental Health America (MHA) states that, the loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event and grieving is the outward expression of that loss. This is because grief can be crippling and can cause major emotional and physical crisis; and for this reason, understanding these dangers allows one to assess how grief may be affecting ones health. We must also understand that there is no real order to the

grieving process. Thus, it is important to knowing what to expect and to take note of warning signs that tell you when grief is not normal. The field of bereavement research is ongoing and there is research being conducted that looks at medical and psychological responses to the death of a loved one, specifically as it relates to medical outcomes following loss and their psychological predictors (10). In October 2019 an article was published entitled ‘Grief: A Brief History of Research on How Body, Mind, and Brain,’ which suggest a link between the bereavement event and the survivor’s morbidity or mortality. The field of grief research investigates how body, mind, and brain adapt to this experience, and has led to the awareness the bereavement experience must be captured in order to explain medical outcomes. (10)

In the Overview of the grieving process by John Hopkins Medical, there is Anticipatory grief which occurs when someone has a prolonged illness, and both the patient as well as the family anticipates death. There is also what is known as Sudden grief which happens unexpectedly or suddenly, like a fatal accident or heart attack.

When either of these occur, one may experience any of the following emotions. The list include denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, yearning, anger, humiliation, despair, and guilt.

In addition, certain symptoms impacting ones physical emotional/mental or spiritual wellbeing may present and may include any of the following: Physical symptoms: Lack of energy or fatigue, Headaches and upset stomach, Excessive sleeping or overworking and excessive activity. Emotional ordinarypeoplemagazine | 31

symptoms: Memory lapses, distraction, and preoccupation, Irritability, Depression and feelings of euphoria, Extreme anger, or feelings of being resigned to the situation. Spiritual symptoms: Feelings of being closer to God or feelings of anger and outrage at God, Strengthening of faith or questioning of one’s faith (9). There are a plethora of health-damaging effects of grief that affect both the mind and body. Chronic stress is also common during grief and can put you a greater risk for exacerbation of a pre-existing medical, a heart attack, stroke, and even death.

It is suggested that thinking through strategies that can help you overcome or at least mange the stress that comes with loss. In 1990, the Syndrome Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, commonly known as Broken Heart Syndrome was brought in to focus. According to the Cleveland Clinic, sudden emotional stressors that can bring on broken heart syndrome include Grief from the death of a loved one and other large or meaningful loss (divorce/ relationship, job, home, money, beloved pet. Other triggers my include bad news, intense fear (e.g., public speaking, armed robbery, car accident) or Extreme anger. Patients typically present with symptoms that resemble a heart attack- shortness of breath and chest pain. Although the exact cause remains unknown, it is believed to be the results of the body’s physiological reaction to extreme emotional events which causes immediate release of stress hormones (11). Lastly, relief can also be a common reaction to the loss of a loved one, as well as signs of self-destructive behaviors (failure to care for self) and a diminish interest in activities (8). In order for us to even began the coping process, we must come to an understanding that; it is a natural process of grief for both the person facing death and the survivors after the death of the loved one to have symptoms of grief. So, if you, or a loved one is experiencing a grieving period that seems to last longer than it should, or where unhealthy behaviors are presented, you may want to seek professional counseling, notify your healthcare professional or seek guidance from clergy, to help you through the process. We are reminded in Psalm 147:3 that God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. In addition, Matthew 5:4 also reminds us that “Blessed are

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those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Death, whether traumatic, chronic disease, accidental or self-inflected is certain and the grief we will experience is a reality. Hebrews 9:27-28 tells us that; “It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.” Therefore, we must be intentional when seeking God and taking steps towards encouraging ourselves as we acknowledge our true feelings no matter how painful they may be. Then look to God for comfort and peace of mind as we navigate through the process of grief.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV. If we use our spiritual foresight, we can see that the Lord was in the Plan from the beginning, for our assurance comes from God. I am reminded of the scripture in Jeremiah 29:11 which says “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” And that is just what He did for both Ruth and Naomi.

Through their lineage, our Lord and savior Jesus Christ came to this world, suffered, bled, and died not only to reconcile us back unto God but to offer the gift of salvation to all that would accept Him. Let us remember that even in grief, Our Heavenly Father provides comfort to our soul even in the time of grief. According to Isaiah 53:3 KJV tells us that; “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief:” Mental Health Connection blog gives this bit of advice: “You become reconciled to your grief by working through your fears and integrating your new reality with energy, confidence, and hope as you move forward with the joy of living,” (12).

Strategies to help you through the grieving process have been reviewed from a number of references.

The following are a combination of suggestions from these sites. 1. Recognize that grief comes in many forms: allowing yourself to grieve is a part of the healing process. 2. Temporarily scale back on your obligations: allow yourself some time and space to process your grief. You may want to take

some vacation or sick time. 3. Cry it out (if you want too): although everyone does not shed tears, crying is a natural part of the grieving process. But don’t worry if you don’t feel like crying. 4. Avoid self-medicating: this is considered an unhealthy way to handling a situation. Seek professional help as indicated and stay connected with people.

5. Consult your physician about the use of medication for a short period when medically indicated. Examples may include antidepressants, sedatives, or medication for Insomnia. 6. Consider joining a support group: Support groups offer you the chance to talk with others who share your feelings and experiences. In addition, they can offer emotional support and practical advice as you adjust. Bereavement support groups, church ministries bereavement or grief counseling (these types of counseling can also be rooted in your faith which is an important component of the healing process). Let time be the healer: New and more positive memories will eventually overtake the pain. It is not about achieving closure but rather developing coping strategies. 7. Consider keeping a journal: write down your thoughts or just some happy memories when the pain arises. This is a way to express how you feel while honoring the person’s life. There have been studies conducted that indicate that writing about your source of grief can actually improve physical and mental health.

It also can help us to better cope with the loss, organize tasks, prioritize, set goals and plan. 8.

Lean on family during difficult times. Ask for and accept help, share responsibilities. While they may not know what to do, they do want to be there for you. Also, remember that it is alright to show your children you’re sad, reminding them that grief is a normal part of life. 9. Rely on your faith: Even if you no longer follow any particular religion as you may have done in the past, this is the time to return to that stronghold in your life and gain solace from spiritual guidance and activities.,” Many faith organizations offer support groups focused on dealing with loss. 10. Maintain good sleep habits and healthy diet: The emotional pain of loss can rob you of much need sleep and can either suppress your appetite or trigger cravings for sugar and fat. Focus on keeping up a wellbalanced diet and drinking plenty of water. For

sleep disturbances such as trouble falling to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night, or sleeping too much; develop a bedtime routine by going to bed at regular hours, avoid caffeine and alcohol in the evening. This will help you have a more restful sleep. 11. Take on new responsibilities. Things you normally may have not done such as financial records, cooking, or general housekeeping, just to name a few can be turned into positive experiences. This can help you redirect your focus to the task and distract you from your grief. 12.

Reach out to your social circle: It is important to maintain connections with others. This helps to remind you that you are not alone and make the effort to communicate with someone every day. 13. Remember the positive: Bring positive changes into your life by shifting your priorities, developing new interest, and learning new skills.

14. Spend time with God: reading your Bible, in prayer, sharing your heart with Him and allowing Him to minister to you through His Holy Spirit.

You may find special encouragement during the process.

Ways to help a grieving child: Children respond differently than adults when grieving. They may go from crying to playing which is their way of coping. Strategies include: 1. Encouraging the child to express their feelings. Helpful outlets include drawing pictures, building scrapbook, looking at photos or telling stories. 2. Be developmentally appropriate: Don’t volunteer too much information and be honest. This may be overwhelming for the child. 3. Don’t force the child to attend the funeral and if they go make sure you prepare them. Remember that they still may get upset. 4. Don’t ignore your own grief. It is important to show your emotions as it reassures children that feeling sad is alright. 5. Stick to routines. This helps keep the child’s life as normal as possible. 6. Utilize the opportunity to give your child time to grieve and teach them about death in a healthy and emotionally supportive way. 7. Consult the child’s physician if you notice unusual behavior and the child is having a problem coping with his loss. 8. Reassure your child: a child’s sense of safety may be in jeopardy. 9.

Create rituals and new family traditions. These are ordinarypeoplemagazine | 33

tangible ways to acknowledge grief while honoring the memory of those who have died. 10. Be patient as you and your child experience grief (14).

Pointers on helping your teen navigate their journey through the grief process. (15) • •

• • •

Be there for your teen.

Encourage your teen to seek support from others (such as a counselor or pastor, etc.)

However, be careful not to push too hard.

Relieve your teen of the burden of adult responsibilities Model healthy grieving (coping).

Offer your teenager books and journals that address teen grief. You can find these at your local library or bookstore.

Surely one day, joy and happiness will return, as sadness lingers in the shadows waiting patiently to rear its head with a thought, a smell, a sound, or a memory. When this happens, and it will, just remember that the joy of the Lord is your strength.

The tears of sadness may still come from time to time, but they will be replaced with the peace and calmness that comes from above and that surpasses our human understanding. The author of the book; ‘The Anatomy of Grief’, by Dorothy P. Holinger gives reference to the writer of the book Cry, Heart, But Never Break, by Glenn Ringtved.

She states that it is a plea to the bereaved not to let the death of a loved one break their hearts. The

34 | September 2022

book was written to the author’s four children following the death of their grandmother. The character Death is robed and hooded in black, but his head is not a skull, rather it is depicted as sad and regretful. The children hatched a plan to trick death and keep him from taking their grandmother. They believed if they could distract him until morning that their grandmother would be spared. Morning eventually came, but death had already accomplished his task even as the children continued their plan of distraction. Before Death goes upstairs to the grandmother’s room, he tells the children a story of how sorrow, delight, grief, and joy cannot live without each other. He tells them that without sorrow there is no delight, and without grief, there is no joy (11). The Lord’s Prayer says it best: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalm 23:1-4. Thus, We have the assurance that God will be with us, and He comforts us even through our journey of grief.

For He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us, even until the end of the world.

REFERENCES 1.

America’s rush to normalcy has robbed us of the time to grieve our Covid dead - The Guardian, Iffah Kitchlew, Sun 13 Mar 2022. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/ mar/13/america-covid-19-coronavirus-thereturn, retrieved July 6, 2022 2. Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model: A Critical Issue - https://judishouse.org/ research-tools/cbem/, retrieved July 6, 2022 3. Grief By The Numbers: Facts and Statistics - Erika Krull, LMHP. Last Updated: May 26, 2022. https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/ mental-health/grief/grief-statistics/ Retrieved July 4, 2022.

4. How Long Should It Take to Grieve?

Psychiatry Has Come Up With an Answer - https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/18/ health/prolonged-grief-disorder.html 5. Pandemic Disrupted Historical Mortality Patterns, Caused Largest Jump in Deaths in 100 Years - https://www.census.gov/library/ stories/2022/03/united-states-deaths-spikedas-covid-19-continued.html 6. Grief and Loss – Centers of Disease Control and Prevention - https://www.cdc.gov/ mentalhealth/stress-coping/grief-loss/index. html XXXX 7. Bereavement And Grief - Mental Health America (MHA), https://www.mhanational. org/bereavement-and-grief 8. K. Doka, 2016, Atria Books, New York, NY. (pg. 28, 29, 36, 49 Grief is A Journey: Finding Your Path Through Loss 9. Grief and Loss - https://www. hopkinsmedicine.org/health/caregiving/ grief-and-loss, retrieved July 4, 2022 10. Grief: A Brief History of Research on How Body, Mind, and Brain Adapt - PubMed Central, National Institutes of Health’s National Library of Medicine (NIH/NLM), https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC6844541/ 11. 1Holinger, D. P. (2020). The Anatomy of Grief,” Yale University Press, Integrated Publishing Solutions. (p. 104-108 12. Mental Health Connection Blog, (October 2020), Finding Hope Through the Grief Process: You are Not Alone, https://www.

mhconnect.org/mental-health-connectblog/2020/10/9/finding-hope-through-thegrief-process-you-are-not-alone 13. How to overcome grief’s health-damaging effects, Harvard Health Publishing, (February 2021). https://www.health. harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/how-toovercome-griefs-health-damaging-effects 14. National Alliance for Children’s Grief (NACG), 2020, https://childrengrieve.org/ resources/10-ways-to-help-a-grieving-child 15. Helping your teenager cope with death, https://www.stjude.org/treatment/patientresources/caregiver-resources/patientfamily-education-sheets/child-life/helpingteenager-cope-with-death.html RESOURCES 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stresscoping/grief-loss/index.html Get immediate help in a crisis: Call 911 Disaster Distress Helpline: call or text 1-800-985-5990 (press 2 for Spanish).

Immediate crisis counseling related to disasters, 24/7.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800273-TALK (8255) for English, 1-888-6289454 for Spanish, or Lifeline. Free and confidential support for people in distress, 24/7.

National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357). Treatment referral and information, 24/7. Find a health care provider or treatment for substance use disorder and mental health SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662HELP (4357) and TTY 1-800-487-4889 National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline, 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) Veterans Crisis Line, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or Text 838255 Crisis Text Line, Text 741741- confidential and free 24/7 text line, connecting you with a trained crisis counselor.

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 35

Miracles and Blessings

Thank You,

M OTHER

BY JAMES RATLIFF

PART 3 My mother was laid to rest in 2010. I can only hope that she was as proud as she said she was of me and my accomplishments. I tried to do the best I could to make her feel that her labor was not in vain.

I also married like my mother. I watched her suffer abuse at the hands of my father. I tried to help. I could not help her the way I wanted to. So, I became a rescuer. I wanted to rescue the “damsel in distress.” I could not rescue my mother so, I wanted to

36 | September 2022

rescue other women. I married a woman whom I thought I was helping. I was in love. She was a perpetrator. She was abusive. She was abusive mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually. I lived with the trauma and pain for seventeen years. Yes, I heard my mother. I saw her live with an abusive man for all her life. I listened too hard. I heard too much. I wish I had not gone through that part of her life.

Obviously, I did not learn from her pain. I was so much focused on loving someone that I forgot that the other

person should also love you back. I was focused on giving love that I did not focus on receiving love.

Mother gave and I gave. Neither one of us received the love that we deserved. Yes, I am so much like my mother. She took care of her children, and she loved her grandchildren. She endured the abuse so that her children could have a better life. I stayed in an abusive relationship thinking about the betterment of my children.

I am retired and have started a business. It started as a hobby. As I traveled during my military careers, I would have a small garden at my home, or I would rent some land in the country in the area where I was stationed. I had to feed my family. My ex-wife and I had five children. When I moved to Mississippi, I began to raise peas, okra, squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, and herbs to sell. I went to a festival in Belzoni, Mississippi and saw a vendor cooking pork skins. I soon learned how and where to buy the products and began to cook and sell them myself. My brothers Robert and Kenneth helped. We began cooking with wood.

As I learned how to book festivals, we switched to propane. We cook the products in my mothers’ old black washpot. The same pot we used as a child. Mother passed some good lessons down to me and I listened. I observed her cooking. I watched her scrub floors for other people and cook for other people. I watched her walk the road in the heat of the day and carry her cooking equipment to make money to send me to college.

I watched her cry when there was no food in the house and daddy was somewhere sleeping with other women. I saw her pain and I felt her pain.

Her strength and her resilience are what made me the man I am today. From her father and mother to me. I have learned as they learned. Life is a lesson.

Life is a journey. Life is a story. It tells a story.

All the hurt and pain. The good and the bad is a lesson. My mother made it through, and I made it through. God is a good God. He suffered and

we must suffer. He endured and we must endure.

God is my rock and my fortress. Now I have my sons and my grandchildren to consider. I want them to learn as I have learned. My oldest son, Terrell, is in the business with me. It is no longer a hobby. We are a small LLC. His wife, Veronica is running the farmer’s market. His children are helping with the skins and crackling at festivals and roadside vending. We are a family like my mother would have wanted it to be. My brother John helps us with the taxes and other business

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 37

advice. My brother Robert is a part time employee.

We have accumulated assets more than $250,000.

Our products are in four stores with a fifth one knocking at our doors.

Yes, I listened to mother, “You all are brothers, make something of yourselves and stick together.”

Thank you, mother. I did listen and I will pass it on to my sons, daughters, and grandchildren.

I remember a time when I had run out of money to attend college, mother caught the bus and came down to Jackson to help me get a loan. She had heard that banks were lending money against property to help students in college. It was a ridiculously scorching summer day. The year was 1975. I met mother at the Greyhound bus station in downtown Jackson, Ms. I was attending Jackson State College. we walked the streets of Jackson going from bank to credit unions. We talked to several bank managers and one President of the largest bank in Jackson. No one was willing to take the risk associated with my education. Mother had spent her last dime on the bus trip, and I did not have any money myself. We both were hungry.

Mother stayed with me all day trying to help me stay in school. I looked at her and she looked so vulnerable and fragile in that heat. She looked desperate and afraid. She was determined that I stay in school and complete my college education.

I noticed that she was very tired and hungry. I asked her to give up but, she just kept on moving and encouraging me. This is hard for me to talk about. Right now, I am in tears. My mother fell and injured her knee on the streets of Jackson that day. To think about this, always bring me to tears.

My mother fell and hurt herself trying to help me.

She injured herself badly. She got up and never complained. From that day on, mother had pain and suffered with that knee until the day she died.

She was so proud of her boys. All of us were special to her. She taught her girls well, also.

Although I was not privileged to her conversations with my sisters, I knew that she was very much a

38 | September 2022

part of their lives as well. My sisters can all cook, sew, and take care of a home. Mother spoiled us all to a degree.

Sometimes I want to talk to her so badly. It is my fervent hope that I see her in the resurrection. I miss her so much.

Mother was everything to us. She kept us healthy by giving us castor oil, cod liver oil, fish oil, 666 medications, and making sure we got all our shots as children. She would feed us before she ate herself. If we were still hungry, she would feed us from her plate. She taught us well. She taught us love and how to give to others. She taught us how to laugh and play together. Although she lived a rough life, she was happy with her children. She kept us close. She would wake up all through the night and come in and check on us as we slept.

She would get up early every morning and have breakfast ready for us before we went off to school.

She would cook at least twenty-five biscuits, bacon or ham, fresh chicken eggs, grits, rice, or oatmeal, white gravy with beef, or some type of chicken, fried or baked. Mother would have a hot meal ready for us when we got home from school.

I loved her tea cakes and butter rolls. Wow, man, I can taste them now. I am so glad that she taught me as she did. I have been cooking those same meals for my family for forty- five years myself.

I get the same reaction from my children and grandchildren that mother got from us. As I am sure mother enjoyed us, I to enjoy my children and my grandchildren. They are my heart and soul.

The love that mother showed us. I hope that I am showing that same kind of love that she showed to me, the love of Christ. That is the only love she knew, and it is the only love that I know.

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WORD LIST ABEL BEGINNING EVE GOD NOAH

40 | September 2022

SHEM ADAM CAIN GENERATIONS LAH

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ordinarypeoplemagazine | 40

“ S E L F CARE”

I S T H E BE ST CA R E!

Consider This

L AST AND FINAL WORDS

BY VANDERBILT BRABSON III, AUTHOR

On one particularly hot day in July 2019 a woman, who worked on another staff, came to our office to use our copy machine. Apparently, their machine needed servicing. When she arrived in our office, I was already using our copier and told her I would be done in just a couple more minutes. She smiled and told me she was in no hurry, but while waiting, she decided to share a prayer concern with me and ended it with a heartfelt request that I add her communicated concern to my prayer list, of which I told her I would.

According to her, the husband of one of her coworkers had that very week collapsed in their

42 | September 2022

yard while cutting their grass with a push mower.

Peering through the window and discovering him lying in the yard next to the mower, his wife immediately rushed out to him. Not only did she find him unconscious, but she was unable to bring him around no matter how hard she tried.

In a panic his wife immediately called 911, explained their situation, and EMTs were immediately dispatched to their residence. When the EMTs arrived, they found her husband still lying unconscious in the yard, and just like his wife before, they too were unable to bring him to a state of consciousness. Therefore, they quicky

transported him to the emergency room of the nearest hospital.

Following a battery of tests on the still unconscious man, one of the doctors sadly informed his wife that not only did her husband have double pneumonia, but his system was slowly shutting down and was ultimately not expected to survive.

The unconscious man’s wife immediately called and informed her supervisor of what was going on, and told him she wouldn’t be back at work until further notice. She requested that he share that information with the rest of their staff, and pleaded

that her manager and coworkers join her in praying that her husband at least awake from his coma because up to this point he was unsaved… and had resisted inviting Jesus Christ into his heart.

She also asked her church family, as well as all those close to her and her husband, to be in prayer that her husband awake from his coma… in order that she be given the opportunity to at least appeal to him to become a Christian by inviting Jesus Christ into his heart. She in no way wanted him to face an eternity without first knowing and accepting Jesus as his Savior. ordinarypeoplemagazine | 43

After this lady shared this information with me regarding her coworker, I informed her that I would certainly be in prayer for the couple, and that I would pray specifically that God bring her coworker’s husband out of his coma in order that he be given another opportunity to accept Jesus into his heart. She thanked me, and I turned over the copy machine to her for her use. I subsequently prayed as requested for this couple.

It wasn’t very long afterwards that I saw this lady again and inquired of her about an update on the matter. She told me that her coworker had stayed at the hospital at her husband’s bedside around the clock, fearing her husband would awaken from his coma and she not be present to plead with him to accept Jesus Christ as Savior.

According to her, to the amazement of the hospital staff—the woman’s husband did actually come out of his coma…and when the medical personnel rushed into his room, they found the man’s wife at his bedside, informing him of how grave his prognosis was and pleading with him to accept Jesus Christ into his heart. His wife begged and explained to him that she did not want him to face an eternity without first knowing Jesus as Savior.

According to the coworker, after listening to his wife’s plea, there at his bedside, to accept Jesus Christ into his heart, the man looked up into the teary-eyed face of his wife and sadly said he didn’t want to accept Jesus Christ. And within minutes, he closed his eyes and died.

How very tragic! Which is also a reminder that barring the rapture of the Church in our lifetime, each of us who are Christians—meaning having truly accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and therefore having our names recorded in the Book of Life (Romans 14:10; 2 Corinthians 5:10; Revelation 20:15)—will one day face physical death, and that will be followed by our appearing before the judgment seat of Christ.

However, that will not be the case for those

44 | September 2022

individuals who have died, refusing to accept Jesus Christ as Savior. Scripture declares (Revelation 20:11-15) such individuals will face the second death and therefore stand before the Great White Throne of God’s judgment and ultimately be cast into hell for eternity. Why? Because their names are not found written in the Book of Life.

However, for those of us who are Christian and therefore heaven bound, we are truly blessed because we have heard and ultimately embraced the gospel message that Jesus Christ saves all who by faith personally trust in His blood sacrifice at Calvary for the remission of our sins [John 3:1416].

Therefore, the question before each of us as Christians is how can we expect nonbelievers to repent and believe on Christ if we are not actively a part of God’s Great Commission—stepping outside our comfort zone as instruments in the hands of God and sharing this glorious, and truly

liberating gospel message …and not just by our words, but modeled by our very lives… (Romans 10:9-13)?

Consider this: China has a population which exceeds 1.4 billion people of which on the average over 30,000 individuals die daily. India has a population which exceeds 1.4 billion people of which on the average over 28,000 individuals die daily. The United States has a population of almost 335 million people of which on the average over 8,000 individuals die daily.

For those of us who are Christians, we need to understand that God not only saved you and me, but He also called and empowered you and me to be His witnesses to a lost and dying world—to be actively involved and committed as a part of His Great Commission … Matthew 28:19-20.

May God help us to love our families, neighbors, coworkers, friends, and foes… enough to share

the gospel message… planting the gospel seed and watering those gospel seeds already planted, while trusting God, not ourselves, for the increase. As Christians, if we have a greater priority than this…. our priorities are grossly misplaced. God help us to love our families, friends, neighbors, even our foes…enough to want to see them saved… as we daily pray to God… here am I, Lord, send me!!!!

“Though the Bible was written over sixteen centuries by at least forty authors, it has one central theme—salvation through faith in Christ.”

Max Lucado Max Lucado (born January 11, 1955) is a bestselling Christian author[1] and pastor at Oak Hills Church (formerly the Oak Hills Church of Christ) in San Antonio, Texas. © August 2022 Vanderbilt Brabson III, Author ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 45

“Guys…this is Missile Morgan” Seeking to overcome the scars from her abusive, alcoholic father, Jesse Cartwright, Anthony’s best friend from childhood, is determined to make something of her life. Tomboyish in every way, at times her stubbornness puts her in direct conflict with Anthony’s other friends. A born fighter, she ultimately proves to be tougher than every boy in the neighborhood and the only friend Anthony can really count on. As Anthony battles his inner demons in his march toward glory, and Jesse struggles through her own personal tragedies and loss, their paths grow apart. Eventually the two dis- cover their lives are somehow intertwined and neither will truly realize his or her dreams without the other.

Surpassing the expectations his father had for him, Anthony Morgan is poised to be the biggest phenomenon baseball has seen in years.

Anthony’s future is set. He has worked hard for it, dreamed about it all his life, and can practically taste it! However, what Anthony could not foresee was the untimely death of his father—his mentor and hero. This tragedy started a downward spiral of bad decisions, which ultimately threaten Anthony’s life and future in baseball.

Beyond the Lies is as captivating as The Natural, as compelling as Love Comes Softly, and at times as humorous as Diary of a Mad Black Woman. It’s a coming of age story that will appeal to the young and old, the sports enthusiast, the romantic, those gripped by human tragedy, and those who celebrate the triumph of the human spirit.

Author Mr. Vanderbilt Brabson, III https://beyondthelies-theboo.com https://www.amazon.cm/Vanderbilt-Brabson-III/e/ B004DWVNW?ref=dbs_p_pbk_r00_abau_000000 See the book Trailer at https://www.vanderbiltbrabsoniii.com

REMEMBER TO INCLUDE SELF-CARE WITHIN YOUR WEEKLY SCHEDULE Create your own self-care routine!

Small Business Corner

PENDLOVEInc. Pendlove Inc. is a long term care organization in Memphis, Tennessee. We have over 30 years of experience and continual service in the long-term care industry. Our mission is to provide seniors citizens and families with long term care housing, resources, and services that works best for them.

Services that we offer • • • •

We specialize in helping families connect with the best long term care communities, resources and services for them and their loved ones.

We provide community outreach programs designed to assist under resourced seniors residing in long term care communities.

We provide community education programs designed to bring awareness about the importance of long term care planning and preparation.

We provide community resources and moral support to family caregivers.

Please visit our website to learn more: www.pendloveinc.com Our mail address: info@pendloveinc.com

48 | September 2022

. ordinarypeoplemagazine | 49

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Hebrews 11:1

Inspirational Words

P SA LMS Psalms 8: 1&9 O Lord our Lord, How excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.

O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

Psalms 9: 1 I will praise thee, O Lord, with my whole heart: I will shew forth all thy marvelous works.

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 51

advertise with us Why advertise with Ordinary People Magazines (OPM) Advertising in print yields greater increases in brand awareness, brand favorability and purchase intent than online or TV advertising.

Advertising in print adds substantially to the persuasion power as any other media. Print magazine advertising has an impact regardless of size or placement and 64% of readers are inspired to take action after seeing a print magazine ad.

Magazine media audiences continues to grow: Audience for print and digital magazines increased by 5.4 million adults 18+ from 2015-2016. Magazine readership grows long after publication date. The total number of adults who read digital edition magazines grew 27% between 2015-2016. Digital edition magazine readers are upscale, educated professional, managerial young adults and very diverse.

Magazine advertising doesn’t take a vacation: As one of our greatest source, magazines satisfy multiple consumer passions and interests with over 226 new print magazine brands launched in 2016. The staying power of print magazine is unbelievable

Magazines build buzz: Magazine readers are more likely than users of other media to influence friends and family on products across a variety of categories.

Magazines complement the web in reaching social networkers, whom marketers increasingly favor to generate word of-mouth. Print magazines excel in reaching super influential consumers in healthcare and healthy living, as well as readers are top spenders on beauty and skin care products.

Ref. www.magazine.org - magazine media factbook 2017/18 Services We Can Provide To Our Advertisers Ordinary People Magazine (OPM) can offer our advertisers web site design/ development, and ad design through our Art Department. Advertising on OPM”s web site (call for pricing.)

We also offer consultation in social media such as, Face book, Twitter , and LinkedIn. OPM, your One-Stop-Shop for advertising.

52 | September 2022

FROM WITHIN...

BY VERNA V. NICKELBERRY This quarter has been met up so many lows, yet with highs as well. When face with difficulties it sometimes feel as it you can’t make it. You begin to question the decisions that you make, but I say to you, make sure that you include God in your decisions. Allow Him to lead and guide you in the right direction.

Psalm 33:1 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me. (KJV) This quarter we took a look at the book of Ruth, and we all know the story, right? Ruth being one of Naomi’s daughter-in-law made the decision to follow her (Naomi) after the death of her sons (Mahlon and Chilion) and husband (Elimelech).

Ruth chose not to return to her own country, her own family.

Ruth 1:16 And Ruth said, intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodges, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. (KJV)

This one decision that Ruth made, ultimately lead her to married “a might man of wealth” (Ruth 2:1)(KJV) which just happen to be a relative of Naomi’s husband.

Although Naomi was feel some kind of way about he death of her husband and sons and still blessed her through her Ruth and the decision that Ruth made to follow her.

We made not can see the plans that God has for our lives, but I’m a firm believer that is we trust and believe in God and allow Him to lead and guide us in our decision making we will come out on top!

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” Roman 8:28 (KJV) And as always, Love, Peace, and Increase…

Verna V. Nickelberry

ordinarypeoplemagazine | 53

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