Dian. Edition 2019
Looking through a different lens How do you do that?
Hold on to
the change
Switch off that yellow for once! The art of looking sideways
Priceless
Love your suffering, do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else. Hermann Hesse
Dian. 3
Personal photo taken on Madeira
COLOPHON
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I help professionals to find the space and peace of mind to take the time to learn to look through a different lens. That helps you sustain your personal growth and make an impact in your own way. Put your unique qualities and strenghts to use and choose your own path to becoming future ready.
� Contact
This magazine is a limited edition publication. You may copy it, but let us know first. Ask Dian for a digital version of this magazine. This magazine was produced in partnership with Kairos Consultancy. Discover, tell and sell your true story. Would you like to publish a magazine? Feel free to contact us, we are happy to help (susan@kairos-consultancy.com)
4 Dian.
Dian Lens 06 51 26 84 48 power2bloom@gmail.com www.power2bloom.nl
EDITORIAL
I feel free It is three-thirty on Tuesday afternoon and I am sitting in the Bakkerswinkel (restaurant) in Rotterdam city center. I am the only customer. “Are you open?” I ask, to be sure. “Of course,” I am told. “Then I’d like a Soy Latte.” I feel absolutely free. What a fantastic, incredible feeling. What could be better than working while feeling that way? Absolutely nothing! And I can do that, every day.
“The day came that the risk it took to stay tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. This is the element of freedom”. Alicia Keys
I want to touch people so they can open their hearts to all their (untapped) potential and get everything they can out of life. So many wonderful things are possible if you can put your talent to use. It is the beginning of true freedom. I want that for everyone. That’s why I coach, because that’s where I can make a difference. I help clients to find the peace of mind and the space to discover their (untapped) talents. I have told my own story in my magazine, have written about what I believe in and what I stand for. Producing this magazine has helped me with the positioning of my business, Power2Bloom. In my search for more depth, I talked with my clients and future clients. That was at times enlightening and at others surprising too. You can choose to play the mid-range keys of the piano keyboard of your life. Or, you can choose to expand your palette of possibilities and add colour to the music, i.e. your life. I choose to play the entire keyboard, the high and low tones and all the notes in between. There’s room for everything. Change, curiosity and learning to look through another lens. These are all themes that have inspired me on my journey. Allow yourself to be surprised, inspired and rest assured you can count on support, at every stage of your journey. You will find some cards in the magazine. Send me one and tell me what you think. I’d like to know. Feel free.
Dian. 5
Personal photo taken during the Blossom Trail
Inhoud
8 My life
11
From not being allowed to contradict to being curious to always wanting to dig deep - Column -
13 This is me 15 Switch of f that yellow for once! 16 I looked death in the eye 18 I am also
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The green leaves become even greener when you let go. LEARNING TO TRUST WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY. - Column -
23 The art of looking sideways 26 How others see Dian 32 Worth reading to learn to look 34 Want through a different lens?
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- Feedback -
- Inspriation -
- Advertisement -
36 Hold on to the change 39 In the next Dian.
- Article -
My life ’63-’84
’94-’08
’84-’94 Motherhood is forever
Born curious I was born in Ekeren (Belgium) and grew up in the 1960s. It was a normal household: my mother was a homemaker and my father went out to work. My father worked in IT in the very early days of the profession. He took courses at IBM and then just got on with it. He told me I could be whatever I wanted, except a punch typist. I was the oldest, my sister is 17 months younger. I was well-behaved and normal. We were quite a serious family. We didn’t laugh or play much. We toed the line. But I only realized that later, not when we were in the middle of it. According to tradition, you made your first communion and your confirmation. Then humanities – you studied hard, did your best. I am a mix of Bèta and Alfa. However, in 3rd year I had a teacher I didn’t get on with, who convinced me not to become a lab assistant, so I focused on economics. What are you supposed to do when you’re good at everything? Informatics is as good as anything else. I have an inquisitive mind, sparked by a number of things, but that’s not always appreciated. I was literally brimming with curiosity. I met Hans when I was nineteen in “den Alma”, the pub I and my friends frequented. Hans was from Rotterdam, he was tall and blond, and I fell in love with him. I was so keen to leave Antwerp, to get far away from all the restrictions. I suppose I subconsciously wanted to cross a couple of lines. 8
From Flanders to Rotterdam At 21, I graduated. I left home immediately and moved in with Hans in Rotterdam. My parents were not happy about that. Rotterdam was so far away. But I was in love. I had a job with the GEB (Municipal Electricity Company) in Rotterdam but I was teased mercilessly for my Flemish accent. I was naive, had not yet learned to assert myself. I was lonely in Rotterdam; my in-laws did not welcome me with open arms and I lost touch with friends; Rotterdam was just too far away. It was there I lost my Flemish accent. My first real job was at 3M in Breda. But I didn’t like it, so I left after 1.5 years and went to work for Capgemini. I had the idea that if I worked for one of the clients and liked it, I could stay. I stayed 31 years. IT was on the rise, anything was possible. The sky was the limit. By now I was a married woman. Hans and I bought our first house in Capelle aan den IJssel. Our life consisted of work, sailing our boat at the weekends and skiing in the winter. It was the late 1980s, early 1990s. Anything was possible. I wanted to learn everything I could, I liked everything and believed in investing in myself. I became more assertive, but I still wasn’t comfortable saying what I really wanted. I hadn’t learned that in Belgium. Then I was asked to take on the role of team leader, because Karel (my manager) saw my potential, he was convinced I could do it. One thing led to another: project leader, change manager, people manager. I let myself be led from one situation to the next, but I only realized that later.
At 31, I became mother to Sofie. Given all that had gone before, it was a miracle. By now I had learned how to manage a project at work, so I applied that to the home situation. Work, caring for and raising a child, continuing to learn, all at the same time; it was really busy. I felt the pressure building up. We really wanted more children, but first I had a miscarriage. Then our little girl Emily, was born much too soon, after just 20 weeks. Then there was another miscarriage. After years of anxiety about having more children, at 37, I became pregnant with Sarah. Soon after she was born we were told she was not thriving. We completely fell apart but we didn’t really take the time to stop and process it. You just get on with it, day after day. Looking back, I can see how difficult that period was. We forgot to enjoy ourselves. I was always working, at home and at the office. I was worn out. It isn’t easy to be the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect employee, perfect hostess. I was constantly juggling with my time.
’09-’13 ’14-’63 2008
Rollercoaster At 45, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My life became a rollercoaster of all sorts of medicine, appointments, side effects and all that needed to be done and decisions that needed to be made. I was told that to have an 11% increased chance of preventing a relapse I would need chemo. What a decision. No time to get emotional, just get into survival mode. Anyone in that position is looking death in the eye, even if they don’t realize it at the time. What I did know was that I wanted to survive, for my children even more than for myself. The unbearable idea of them no longer having a mother, kept me focused and helped me persevere. There are sick people everywhere, young and old, rich and poor. Cancer doesn’t care. 1 in 3 people in the Netherlands are faced with cancer. I was convinced I could tackle this project like any other.
Discovering my true self Then, after a year, I was able to put that behind me, and was left wondering, what now? What am I to do with the rest of my life? Is this the life I really want to lead? I have been given extra time on this earth. How do I move on? My background in Co-Active coaching at CTI helped me a lot with these essential issues. I was also given opportunities at Capgemini, specifically because I had been ill and had gone through something that very few others had experienced. I was asked to lead the High Potentials. I focused on things that gave me energy. I found myself in a zone where nothing could touch me; I was fearless. I was given the opportunity to design a sustainable employability program and grabbed it with both hands. It was a great success. I oozed strength and self-confidence. And I continued learning, only now in a more grounded way, driven more by my inner true self, my powerful self. I was unstoppable. I walked straight into the Chamber of Commerce and registered my new company, Power2Bloom.
Have faith, and jump All the new insights, brought me to a new level of consciousness. It was as if I had woken up. The leaves on the trees were greener. However, there were consequences. I made new friends, said goodbye to old ones because we were no longer on the same wavelength and had nothing left to talk about. Then the same thing happened in my marriage, which resulted in a divorce. A painful step for all involved, one that takes courage. I started a relationship with Onno, my friend and partner on all levels. I discovered that conversations can be deep, that you can have an equal partnership without staking a claim on each other.
Now is all there is I still have things to do on this earth. A lot can be solved with space, peace of mind, attention and warmth. I have learned to enjoy what is, and not judge. That takes constant practice. I learned to notice the small things, like an early morning walk in the chill, listening to the birds. I have given myself permission to live with my choices. At last.
Only those who keep busy want to live to be a hundred Dian. 9
INSPIRATIE
Wonder
is such a beautiful word; to me it means being curious without judging
COLUMN
From not being allowed to contradict to being curious to always wanting to dig deep My sister and I, two well-mannered Belgian girls, had a respectable youth. We always did as we were told. I remember once, a new Dutch girl joined my class at secondary school. We all thought she was so cheeky! And arrogant. But maybe she had just learned to speak up for herself. Voicing your opinion was seen as cheeky. You were supposed to listen and not contradict. The term alone. Contradict. But who to contradict? Your mother and father? You were supposed to listen to them. But what about my inquisitive nature? My mother often called me a curieuspot (Flemish for someone who is nosey), which was seen as rude. I remember I always did my best to listen to grown-up conversations. Later, when I did Transactional Analysis, I learned that, as a child you will do anything to be liked by your parents, who literally and figuratively feed you. To do this you create specific strategies. As a grown up, in some situations, you logically take on the role of child again.
Whether that’s right, I don’t know, but it is the best of me, given wholeheartedly. I learned that, as an adult, you always have a choice. You can toss this child role strategy into the trash. Sometimes you have to get rid of stuff before it starts to rot. I find it infinitely fascinating to study this behaviour and the coping strategies we apparently apply. Not only for myself, but for others too, I am fascinated as to “why we do what we do”. After all these reflections and lessons I became even more fascinated and addicted to digging deeper into the ‘why’ question. For me, personal growth is found here, in learning and in wonder. Wonder is such a beautiful word; to me it means being curious without judging. That’s what I want to hold on to, for the rest of my life.
That strategy becomes redundant later in life. When I was 50 and my father 75, he invited me to go on a Mediterranean cruise. An extraordinary trip. It had been quite a while since we had spent so much time together. I immediately assumed the role of child again, but that no longer served any purpose. I realized it was time to say goodbye to strategies that had long since become redundant. I also learned that your parents have your best interests at heart and that they act from their own frame of reference, limitations, how they were raised and that they have their own strategies. If you are a parent, then you probably recognize this. I, too, give my very best to my children, I can’t do any more than that.
Dian. 11
Dance like no one is watching. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like no one is listening. Work like you don’t need the money, and Live like it’s heaven on earth -Rumi-
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Decisive
Empathetic
Open Attentive
Soft
Fun
People oriented
Trustworthy
To the point Self assured Good listener Fun!
Creative Caring
Warmth Human Pracitcal
Strong
Alert
Bold
Visionary
Recognition
Insightful
Inspiring
Sharp
Flexible
Convincing
Pa s s i o n a t e Determined
Energy
empowering questions
Authentic
enthousiastic
Intuitive
Intelligent
Approachable
Expert
Connector
en v i t aerful womviavor v o Inn Pow Sur
Dediated
This is me
Friendly
Helicopter view
Professional Excellent coach
Inventive
Focused
Ambitious
Het leven is net een bos, rechtdoor gaat nooit I am so grateful for these wonderful compliments! Dian. 13
My order: to cr eate cards th at teach other to look at thin s gs differently . New cards eve year. Availab ry le worldwide. A booklet with inspiration s o you can da y -dream abou how you can lo t ok at things d if ferently. Onlin inspirational e workshops. A Power of Hab tour to uniqu it s e locations in the Netherland Round table se s . ssions about Changing Habit My own place s. in Gelderland with a garden and veranda ...
14 Dian.
COLUMN
“Switch off that yellow for once ” On my Insights profile, I score high in Sunshine yellow. On a good day, my yellow preference is so distinct that it almost wears me out. My head is full of new ideas, all over the place, like spaghetti. Ideas tumble over each other. All from a positive viewpoint and thinking in possibilities. I recently had a group telephone meeting about possibilities and chances. I told my daughter, Sofie, that my mind was brimming with ideas. She spoke the legendary words: “Switch off that yellow for once.”
What I often see in organizations is that Insights are often deployed as an instrument, brief feedback is given, and that’s that. You then get comments like, “you’re red so you do things that way, and I’m yellow so I do things this way”. As Insights Practitioner I know this is not entirely accurate. Every person has all the colours in him. You can get so much more out of the Insight model if you as a team or individual dig deeper. So no, I am not yellow. I choose whether to use my yellow preference or not. Fortunately, my second preference is Fiery red, so I also go for the results. On a good day :-). I like to use my yellow preference when I am designing a training, whether it be about inspiration in personal development, leadership, the new (Agile) or other change topic. I also like to apply the 70-20-10 principle to learning, after all you learn every day. If you want to change behaviour, then the motto is: practice makes perfect.
Being aware of your preferences can be of great benefit. By becoming more aware of when you use what preference, you get a clearer picture of how you are and how you look at things and how you can improve your communication with others.
Dian. 15
I looked death in the eye After my period of busy, busier, busiest, I fell ill. Not with the flu, cancer. I didn’t know anyone else who had it or what it would entail. After the diagnosis, I soon became wiser. My world fell apart. The surgeon who delivered the bad news, told us that the treatment process would be nothing short of a roller coaster ride. I, and we, as a family, had no idea. At that time, Sofie was 14 and going through puberty, Sarah was 8. Sofie found it difficult to talk about it at school. She struggled with questions like: What if your mother dies, what will you say to the class? I didn’t know what to tell her, as a mother. I remember watching a short film with Sarah about cancer cells. A brave attempt to explain to an 8-year-old what cancer meant. “Now mum,” she said, “at least you won’t have to wash your hair.” I underwent all the examinations, appointments, injections, I.V. drips, pills and chemo. What else could I do? I did it for the children because I didn’t want them to lose their mother. I cycled every day, even if it was at a snail’s pace, because I wanted to keep up my strength for the next chemo, even though I knew it was the luck of the draw. Did we catch it on time? The surgeon’s answer was: if we’re having this conversation in ten years, then just by being alive that we beat it. I just had that conversation. It was 10 years ago. He said: “You beat it!” I finished treatment after nine months. What then? My brother-in-law’s brother, who was my age, died. While he was out cycling, he became unwell and just dropped dead. In that same period, my mother, who had been sick for a while, also died. Talk about a wake-up call. You never know what tomorrow has in store, all you have is now.
I wrote this in my notebook, as inspiration and as something to hold on to. Yesterday is gone and we don’t know what tomorrow holds. There is only ‘now’. In that period, I was introduced to mindfulness, which was a great help. Initially, after all the treatment I was extremely tired. The best way to describe the tiredness after chemo is like having a blanket thrown over you. Some people stay tired their whole lives. Mindfulness taught me that even if I am tired now and in the next moment, you still don’t know what’s in store. By taking time to consider that, I overcame my exhaustion. I returned to work, and focused in things that energized me. That was extremely powerful and grounding. It felt like I had been given extra time on this earth and I was absolutely fearless. I was invincible. That power did not go unnoticed and I was asked to lead the High Potentials at Capgemini. By working to that strength, I discovered what I am good at and what makes me really happy: guiding young leaders. I still do that for a number of companies, nationally and internationally. Those I coach have several years’ experience in an organization and are often looking to take the next step to finding balance and making an impact. I guide them on their search for who they want to be as leaders and how they can manifest that in the organization. My illness gave me a lot. I was given an opportunity to discover what I am good at. I was finally able to believe that I had a place. Only one person is the conductor of my life, and that’s me.
I have a task to fulfill on this earth.
Yesterday is gone and we don’t know what tomorrow holds. There is only ‘now’.
Dian. 17
I am also
See Throughs Warmth Deep diving into conversations Old houses, because they have a story and character Symmetry Macro photographs of flowers Still lives Sea horses Reading several books simultaneously Rituals Bunch of wild flowers Tulips Nuts, pits, seeds. Yummy! Glass of white wine Soy latte Difficulty to throw things away Driving a convertible Melody Gardot Leffe brun beer Chocolate Ton-sur-ton colours Jamie Oliver Matheus Passion Violin music Neighbor Nico’s lambs Can’t stop the feeling by Justin Timberlake Working internationally and travelling Goat’s cheese. Yummy! John Mayer. Bee Gees. Barry Gibb Basil Eating at Toscanini, the greatest Italian restaurant in Amsterdam Fresh ginger and lemon tea Apple pie Escher Hiking the Pieter path in the Netherlands Passion cards Tai Chi Making Scribes
18 Dian.
Dian. 19
COLUMN
Green leaves become even greener when you let go LEARNING TO TRUST WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY I help professionals to find space and peace of mind and to take the time to learn to look through a different lens. That’s how you continue to grow and make an impact in your own way. Choose your own path and stay future ready by using your qualities and strengths. We have all lost our way, Margaret Wheatly writes in her book “So Far from Home”. We think that the internet has made us smarter and that we are investigating and discovering more. But is that true? Wheatly suggests that what we do most of the time on the internet is send information all-round the internet but that there’s nothing new. Since the advent of the internet era there have been no more groundbreaking scientific discoveries than there were before. We have lost track. We do not know how to move forward. We realize that things need to change in this world, in our organizations, in our personal lives, but we don’t know how. On an individual level, more people commit suicide than ever before and at an ever-younger age. Organizations are dragging the legacy of old models and methods and seem incapable of motivating young employees to commit themselves. And now we have to clean up the plastic soup in the world’s oceans because for years we have lived in a world of increasing consumerism and consumption without considering whether that is sustainable. Teams in organizations must be Agile (flexible). We also want teams to be self-regulating and high performing. But is that really what we want? The basis for a high performing team is namely trust and transparency. I see that the breeding ground is often lacking or insufficient. KPI excel sheets are put on the table again when things get too tense, and managers tighten control. The managers that are still in the organization are reluctant to give away any control and to trust others and to be transparent. They naturally have a manager above them, putting on the pressure.
20 Dian.
So, if you’ve lost your way, yet still have to be Agile and surrender control, how do you do it? First thing you need to do if you’ve lost your way, is to accept you’ve lost your way. Only then can you look at what is still possible. In other words, checking your roadmap, looking at your experience and history, doesn’t work. It won’t get you anywhere. Can you let that go? Take a step toward the future instead, then look at what is possible in the moment. That requires the ultimate letting go. I always prepare thoroughly before I give a training or work with a team – always 100%. Then when the day comes I can let go and see what is required. Experience has taught me that I get a getter result with the team if I use my intuition. That may mean tossing the preparations aside. Trusting what is needed delivers the best results and has the biggest impact. That has been my experience. Sure, I hear you thinking. Letting go is one of those trendy expressions. I’m supposed to let it all go and things will work out. An Aikido trainer taught me something even better than letting go: holding loosely. Not tightly, not cramped, without dropping, but holding loosely, from your strength. How do I give professionals space and peace of mind so that together we can see what holding loosely means to teams and individuals? I tell them to put everything on the table, be transparent and look each other in the eye, see what is required. That means using all the qualities of every individual. Are you ready for that? I promise that if you have the courage to do that, the leaves on the trees will become more vibrant green and that you and your team can work more in the flow and therefore be prepared for that Agile future.
“
INSPIRATIE
Personal photo taken in nature reserve De Blaauwe Kamer in Wageningen
Trusting what is needed delivers the best results and has the most impact
”
HOLDING LOOSELY INSTEAD OF LETTING GO
The art of looking
ARTICLE
sideways Looking sideways, that’s an art I believe wholeheartedly that learning to look sideways changes your world. I also believe it’s an art. But it’s an art you can learn. I see it in my coaching, training and the change projects I lead. You learn to look sideways not only by using the left but also the right side of your brain. We work hard on the left side of the brain (the analytical, logical part) at school. The right side is often ignored; you don’t have to develop your creativity, it’s not good for much anyway, we were told. But is that true? Recent research has shown that this creative, intuitive side – the right side – is extremely important for innovative thinking, thinking differently, and therefore important for our future. In his book: “A Whole New Mind”, Daniel Pink wrote that you can develop the right side of your brain. In the past, we believed that if you were not naturally empathic, you could never learn to be. However, it turns out, we can. You can learn to look at paintings, listen to music and to draw. So, my persistent limiting belief that I cannot not draw, is wrong, I can learn. Look:
Dian. 23
Learning to look sideways is not something you can do alone I believe you need others to help you learn to look sideways and for inspiration. You also need the ambition and discipline to allow yourself the time to find that inspiration. No-one can do that for you. You’ll have to look for it yourself. But I am happy to help you. By now, searching for inspiration has become one of life’s necessities for me. I enjoy it immensely and I always will. I intend to reach a healthy one hundred, that’s for sure. You know what’s really great? I can also inspire my clients to learn to look sideways. It’s what I live for. My greatest enjoyment is guiding young professionals, eager to discover who they are as a whole, to learn to look sideways. Professionals who want to find all aspects of themselves; the dark side and the light side, the hard and the soft side. And that there’s a place for all of it. I am trained as a Co-Active coach. Our wonderful mantra is:
‘You are natural, creative, resourceful and whole” What does this suggest to you? To me it means, you have all the answers in you, as a person you are “whole”. The only question is: Do you allow yourself to see and be that wholeness? Are you brave enough to look at all aspects of yourself? Are you brave enough to look sideways at all aspects of yourself? If you are thinking: Dian, looking sideways sounds good! But how do I do that? Then I have some tips for you.
Be kind to yourself
The key to looking sideways is found in kindness. I have learned to look at myself with more kindness. That was not easy. When my mindfulness teacher said that being kind to myself was an important key, I replied: “I see the word, I can read the letters, but I can’t feel it. I didn’t get where I am in my career by being kind to myself. It doesn’t resonate with me.” That’s when my journey began: learning to be kind and nice to myself and to see myself in a different way. How kind are you to yourself?
Create new neurological connections
You can learn to look sideways through meditation. ChadeMeng Tan, a programmer at Google, had a dream: to achieve world peace through meditation. Quite a massive dream, you might say. He wrote a book: “Search Inside Yourself” in which he examined the benefits of meditation. It seems to help people be more productive. They become calmer, happier and more compassionate. A scientific experiment shows that people who have practiced meditation for a long time, react less strongly to negative sounds. Less brain activity is noticed in the amygdala. The amygdala is a primitive part of the brain responsible for the flight, fight or freeze reaction. There it is again, the brain. It has been proved that you can regulate the amygdala with mindfulness training. An interesting piece of information for the result-oriented readers among us: coaching also creates new neurological connections in your brain.
Take your next step
based on whatever presents itself now
In his book “Theory U”, Otto Scharmer wrote that we should take the next step from a state of being present without knowing what will come about then. From daring to look differently. Not from what we know or think we know, based on the past. Not from our experience but from what presents itself now. He calls this the “emerging future”. It takes practice. It’s no surprise that you will improve with practice. I like to connect the old world with the new. Do you have the courage to connect the old and the new? I can choose to take that first step from my emerging future. Not to be afraid to live in wholeness and mildness. And to embrace being present. Then I take the next step. You have that choice too.
My wish
My wish? Let’s embrace looking sideways. Let’s make an art of looking sideways. Perhaps it will be a subject taught at school, so children of the future may have thoughts that stem from their own qualities. Using both halves of the brain more and using their full potential. Everyone has their own talents. What kind of world would it be if we could apply all those (untapped) talents? If only that could be. But first and foremost those from ourselves..
ARTICLE
Are you only using half your brain? Future leaders are able to look sideways. I agree with Daniel Pink that leaders who will make a difference are able to apply both the left and the right side of the brain. If you are able to link your analytical skills and your creativity/intuition with each other, you will become the leader who is ready for the future and who makes an impact. That, for me, is the essence.
I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. Carl Jung Dian. 25
“Dian. WHAT OTHERS SAY
Dian literally and figuratively lightens the load
Dian is able to bring calm into the conversations she has, even when the other party has a lot on his mind and is feeling the pressure of work. Her personality, presence, approach have that effect. She helps people to structure their challenges. What is and is not important, where are the real problems and priorities? And finally, she is able to help people to look differently at the challenges, to see them in a different light, use more creativity to tackle them, see the light where once there was only darkness, and she gives courage and hope. Dian literally and figuratively lightens the load. Jeffrey Wannee Practice Manager Digital Customer Experience Number one fan
Cheryl van Heyningen
xRealities Lead en Principal Solutions Architect bij Sogeti Participated in my leadership training and is a great talent
Dian! Thanks a million! Do you know you are one of the people I associate with my success, one of the people who helped me create and hold on to the proverbial ‘ladder upwards’? I am so grateful to you for that. I took part in your Emerging Leadership program and it was so liberating. Once again, thank you! 26 Dian.
I TOOK PART IN YOUR EMERGING LEADERSHIP PROGRAM AND IT WAS SO LIBERATING
FEEDBACK
Sarah
Daughter, my youngest and sweetest Always creative and cheerful
When I think of you, I think of warmth. A place where I can completely unwind. Let’s forget that I can also be a diva at times and give my mother more grey hairs. Oops. I know my mother is always there for me and puts me first, which I like, of course! But seriously. My mother is a powerful woman. She has overcome more than her fair share and encountered many obstacles. And look at her now. She’s healthy again. She does her work with a smile and proudly announces “I have
started to sport again Saar”, which makes me proud of her too. My mother is my sounding board. I can pour out my heart, cry, laugh, scream and shout. Mama coaches us once in a while, which we don’t really like, but it has made us who we are. On my way to being as successful as Dian Lens. Mam, I love who you are. Never change.
Sofie
Daughter, my oldest and dearest Always wise and responsible
Are you familiar with ‘The Book of Answers’? For me, Dian is like that book. However, she won’t give me the answer to my question. She helps me to find the answer myself instead. She makes it clear that you often have the answer and that the path to finding it is important. She gives you the right tools, without judging, so you can find your own answers.
DIAN GIVES PEOPLE THE CHANCE TO BE VULNERABLE AND TO DROP THEIR PROFESSIONAL MASK
An Brosens
Constructive non-conformist at We Belong Always enthusiastic in our collaboration
When do you look for my help? I look for your help when I need inspiration to be able to move forward in supporting employees or clients. I know that you can give people insights into their own power and strengths. Employees need that occasionally. In your opinion, what is my added value as coach/facilitator? You are really good at reaching the individual within the group. Everyone in the group has their own personal path to growth but the group supports that. That means that, in the end, all participants have learned but that they are also much stronger as a group. The most important thing is that people are given the chance to be vulnerable and drop their professional mask.
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of me? “Yippie” is my first thought. If you had to think of a metaphor for me, what would it be? Mountain lake: peace, fresh air, calm on the surface but bubbling with strength and energy underneath.
Precious with a smile It is Friday evening 23rd March 2007, just before eight thirty. My telephone rings. Dian on the line. or to be more precise, flawless. We have been working intensely together for almost ten years. For two days we have been working with 40 men/women on a strategy called “Precious”, called after an analogy from The Lord of the Rings, for the department where Dian works. It’s about taking responsibility, making connections and booking results together. She says: I want to impact more people and I am considering taking a role in HR. I advise against it, saying: “If you really want to mean something to people you’d be better off doing that from a management role.” But of course, that didn’t stop her.
year program for the top talents of our organization. Our collaboration is smooth Dian’s strength is that she can look at others without a filter and ask questions in a totally safe way, encouraging others to feel and think. She radiates calm and positivity. She looks for possibilities, for untapped talent. Dian sees what the other person needs. Then she asks questions in such a way that the other can discover his or her own vision of the future through reflection and self-examination and she coaches with an eye to the next step, embracing life.
Onno van de Weteringh My dear friend and pal, the best group facilitator that I know. An important inspiration to me
Yes, if there was a world championship for coaching, then Dian would go far. Voilà. Precious with a smile.
DIAN’S STRENGTH IS
Three years later and HR is over and here we are, trainers together in a multi-
THAT SHE CAN LOOK AT OTHERS WITHOUT A FILTER
Mirjam Ruiten Global Project Director HRT and Integrated Talent Development for HR, Innovation and R&D Client at DSM How a client became a good friend
I got to know Dian during the HR transformation program at DSM: a warm and fair person who likes to close the circle. She is good at making a wide range of projects concrete, at identifying specifically where the sore spots are and turning these spots into definite actions. Actions that are aimed at anchoring the how and why: the story. In our collaboration, on several occasions we have seen just how important it is to get the right message across to employees and leadership. I personally always found this to be extremely valuable. 28 Dian. 28 Dian.
Besides this result-oriented approach, you can certainly also deploy Dian for various coaching and leadership projects, as well as development and training and other learning programs. In that respect, it is great to be able to work with a professional like Dian who has a wealth of experience.
A warm and fair person who likes to close the circle
FEEDBACK
A great time to call on Dian is for a change project that has a personal impact on people. I got to know Dian as change manager of a major reorganization at DSM. With her personal attention for people, their emotions and the phase of the transition in which they found themselves, she made the reorganization bearable for the people concerned. By naming the issues and making them transparent, and by not avoiding conflict. Dian is an extremely hard worker, but one who pays a lot of attention to people and the personal aspect.
Danielle Claassens Projectmanager Global HR Transformation Program DSM An inquisitive colleague
I see you as a strong and warm woman, with a lot of experience in life as a woman, mother, coach, counselor and manager (not to mention a number of other dimensions).
Pascale Sister Always kind and caring
YOUR ADDED VALUE IS YOUR ABILITY TO SEE THE PERSON BEHIND THE PROFESSIONAL
Sister, Dian, the older sister who always took care of me. You meant so much to me when we lost our parents. I could always phone you, and I think our bond became stronger because we went through something so heartbreaking. We were there for each other then and we still are now. Learning to look at things differently is what Dian has done her entire life. We used to have a pass-through cupboard which we talked through for hours. We were pregnant with our wonderful daughters at the same time.
Jasmijn Baldinger Account Executive Aerospace & Defence bij Capgemini A powerful woman with an eye for talent
Your added value lies in your ability to see the real person behind the professional. Your personality and character invite your partner in the dialogue to reveal themselves fairly quickly. You are open and easy to trust, you are inviting. You are sharp in your analyses and have great understanding of people, and also have the tools to help individuals and groups further. You are energetic and radiate an abundance of positive energy. The first word that springs to mind: Lioness
We go through the same situations but experience them differently, which makes it interesting to talk about. You look at life in a different way than I do. Every time we meet up I discover new aspects of your character. You are cheerful, supportive and always positive. You are a super coach. You have a lot of experience, are good at talking with people, you are calm and deep and you exude it too. I would like to learn more about these wonderful characteristics from you.
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Vulnerability
is not about winning, and it’s not about losing. It’s about having the courage to show up and be seen. Brené Brown
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Personal photo taken in the Botanical gardens in Singapore
Worth reading No two
persons
ever read the same book Edmund Wilson
WHEN WILL WE TRUST EACH OTHER AGAIN? In teams, I often work with the Patrick Lencioni model: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. He suggests that if you want to become a High Performance team, you need to go through five levels, in a specific sequence: Trust, Conflict, Commitment, Accountability and Result. Organizations focus a lot on results and ignore the fact that it begins with trust. Do you have the courage to give genuine feedback in a team and to show your vulnerability?
WHEN YOU STEP INTO THE ARENA, DO YOU NOTICE THOSE WHO THROW THE ROTTEN TOMATOES OR THOSE WHO SPONSOR YOU? I work a lot with the philosophies of Brené Brown. These deal with vulnerability and shame. I have examined these in depth because this is a recurring theme in coaching programs that I lead. Brené explains that you can minimalize shame by talking about it. Often difficult, but it certainly delivers results, because the shame will fade away.
FLIP THINKING Bertold Gunster thought up the concept of flip thinking. I bought the book on flip thinking, which includes photos, in a little bookstore in Delft. One photo was of a girl sitting back to front on a pony. The accompanying text read: the pony is the wrong way around. Often, we get stuck in fixed thought patterns and can no longer see other perspectives. They just don’t occur to us. External triggers may cause us to think differently.
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INSPIRATIE
sideways
The art of looking
The book “The art of Looking Sideways” was written by Alan Fletcher. He was a graphic designer from England. He calls his book the “72 slices of life”, and even in his choice of words you see his different way of looking at things. He says his book is for curious people, for ‘sharp people’ of all ages.
And my work is also for those people: sharp people who want to learn to look sideways.
THERE IS VALUE IN THE WISDOM OF THE MINORITY In “Deep Democracy, the wisdom of the minority”, Jitske Kramer describes another way of looking at group processes. It’s about decision-making and making use of the wisdom of the minority in the decision of the majority. It pays attention to and shows appreciation for other opinions. The concept of development, taken from quantum physics, assumes that you can use the strengths in the team, specifically if there is a difference of opinion.
FOCUS ON FINDING A PARKING SPACE NEAR THE ENTRANCE I believe that more is possible when you have positive thoughts, and not negative thoughts. You can order whatever you like, positive or negative, says Willem de Ridder in his book, “Mirrorology”. I apply it more and more. If I am driving to the supermarket with my daughter Sarah on a busy day, I’ll say: “Saar, focus for a minute on finding a parking space near the entrance,” and there we always do. But you have to think it, believe it, with no sly thought that it’s not going to work. That’s what Willem tells us in his book, and it works. In the Netherlands, there are “fan clubs” that practice this. We are all energy and all connected, says Willem. Have you ever been thinking about someone who you haven’t spoken to in a long time? Then next day you get a phone call from that same person. Call it coincidence because we don’t have a better name for it. I believe we are connected by more than language.
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ADVERTENTIE
Want to learn to look through a different lens? I help you and your team to find new perspectives. The sessions can also be tailored to suit your needs, in English and in Dutch. The menu is a sample of what’s in my portfolio.
Menu Idividual sessions Discover coaching session Coaching Playing with Insights
Team workshops Practice as a team Leading yourself Leading others Client beyond Get connected How to change The power of habit Topsport mentality
Explode Back to basics Turn over Get closer Around Insights Inspire by storytelling Guided intervision Get2KnowU with passion
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Inspirational sessions How to become Agile? Your elevator pitch Make your story stronger You can learn from how others see you
Empathetic or sympathetic? balance How do you rediscover ? ent par a ing om bec er aft nt, ADHD - All Day HugelytDiffere sen pre ng bei e ctic pra Deepen the connection You will learn how
ADVERTENTIE
Keep
inspiration
close to hand POWER OF THE HABIT About the switch
I invite you to come and enjoy the moment you stopped knowing and could start learning.
organizations make to survive. Read about our vision to break the power of the habit.
AND TOMORROW I DON’T KNOW A book with practical quotes.
Welcome. www.power2bloom.nl
Daily inspiration.
POWER OF DEEPENING Learn more about yourself and/or your team by playing with these reflection cards
SET OF FIVE POSTCARDS For inspiration and nice to send to someone. Surprise
One day or day one?
Spread your awesomeness
someone in your circle. Or yourself!
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INSPIRATIE
In the training, Leading Yourself, from the Power2Bloom portfolio we help you put your values, your vision and your brand into words. We help you to slow down before you speed up. If you live according to your values, then you stay on track, your track. A new perspective for looking at yourself so you can be the leader you want to be.
Hold on to the change
There is a lot going on in the world. We are in time of enormous change, on several levels. Keeping all the balls in the air as a (young) professional. You shop all day using your phone or your laptop. You pay by phone, with an app, or by tapping your bank card on a device. You watch Netflix or YouTube. TV? That’s just for old people. And if there’s something you don’t know, want to check out or arrange, then you google it. The manual for the washing machine you just bought is online. You look at your phone, and voila, it switches on via Face ID. So much is changing, every day. Every day is really busy and seems to only get busier. Is that true? Research has shown that a century ago a person would not process as much information in his whole life as we now do in one week. Incredible, all those stimuli! The consequences are huge. Choice stress is on the increase. That technology was not available in the past. These days, we can video Skype and perhaps I can look more deeply into the eyes of the person I am talking to with my Apple than I could face to face. My Apple has a fantastic camera :-). But it all comes at a price. We are becoming addicted to the telephone and laptop. We want to belong, we measure our popularity and success with likes. How do we keep it all in balance? How do we stay focused on the things that are really important to us? How do we make choices, and what do we choose? How consciously do you do that? How, with all the stimuli, can you stay present in the now? After all, we need that to avoid becoming over-stressed or burned out. Never before were there are many people burned out at such a young age.
Stay on track - put your values into words
ARTIKEL
If you are a millennial, you are sought after, in the ongoing “battle for talent”. However, you must meet the highest of standards. A Bachelor or Master degree is not enough to get you started. To have a fighting chance, you should have been the chairman of the student association, travelled across Costa Rica or done volunteer work in Africa. Then only after going through a tough selection and assessment process, it seems you are expected to work 24/7. Recently published research in the Psychological Bulletin shows that millennials experience 33% more social pressure than in the past. The figures also indicate that there are more freshers with a higher education than 10 years ago, so competition is fierce. And yes, then you do reply if your manager or your client sends a WhatsApp at nine in the evening. I know this all too well. I am all too familiar with ambition and perfectionism. Identifying your values and your vision can help you stay on track.
3 tips for you as anchors in the change
Organizations also operate in a pressure coooker In organizations, changes are also the order of the day and now more than ever, the pressure is on. Innovation is a necessity. Organizations are complex, need to respond fast to meet the changing demands. Due to the exponential growth in technology they must move to a culture where rapid change is the new normal. There is no other option. Employees are expected to show their entrepreneurship. It is adapt or go bankrupt! That’s how tough it is. Research carried out by Innosight shows that approximately 50% of the S&P 500 organizations will be replaced in the coming 10 years. Bob Dylan sang it: Times, they are a changin... Your manager wants you to get more results, that you are faster and pioneering. Budgets are raised by 10% each year. You have to work according to Agile and it all has to be digital. You have to be on your toes all the time to please all parties. Are you feeling the pressure? I also see a lot of impatience under professionals. You can practice patience, and you can practice paying attention and a more intense time perception. I am happy to help you with these topics. You probably know that asking for help is the most difficult thing, but also the most essential. Not only for millennials, for all professionals. So, what are the possibilities when you are allowed to pay attention to the things that matter to you? If you have the courage to slow down and develop other perspectives and expand your palette on how to deal with the pressure in your life. Steam has to be released from the pressure cooker, otherwise it will explode. Slow food en Slow down A new contra-movement has come about in response to all that change and pressure. Slow food: cooking food really slowly on an AGA stove. We all take yoga classes. Do you do Easy Flow yoga, Hatha yoga or Bikram yoga? Mindfulness has been on the rise for a while, but it has now found its way to organizations. At SAP, a large software company with more than 80,000 personnel, management decided that everyone should learn mindfulness, it’s mandatory. There is a need for meditation, silent days or even weeks, to rediscover yourself and relax.
1.
Deepen the connection
Be genuinely interested in the other person. Ask open questions without judging. Listen actively. Turn off your scenario thinking. Let yourself be surprised by your dialogue partner’s answer. Then practice a lot. “Deepen the connection” one of the trainings in the Power2Bloom portfolio.
2.
Tread heavy terrain light-footedly
if you’re temporarily unsure, literally and physically turn around and look the other way. Look into the light instead of the dark. I’ll bet you will see a new perspective. You decide how you look at the world.
3
STOP S= Stop T= Take a deep breath O= Observe P= Proceed Use a structure in the vicinity to help you to stop. For example, traffic lights.
Scribes illustrated by Lucia Fabiani
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! n o o s g in
Com
Our book -
Power of the Habit
Onno van de Weteringh and I have written about the switch organizations have to make to survive. We have collected more than 55 years of change experience. We have brought together 27 management books from all eras and put the essence into words. We came to a number of remarkable conclusions. In our book, we explain what our vision is for breaking the Power of the habit.
Download our e-book Change of the habit This e-book is a business fable in which we tell you the story of Fred and his team who had the courage to change their habits. Be inspired. You can do it too! www.powerofthehabit.com
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In the next
Dian. New Inspiration Cards & Maverick Cards
are available in your bookshop on the corner and online.
Power of habit tour
Early bird tickets available NOW!
Interview with Dian in Happinez magazine
“Learn to look differently in an amazingly changing world”
Grand opening of CHANGE THE HABIT CENTRE“
Located in Gelderland, the Netherlands. Dian explains what the center stands for
The story behind the success
How a brainstorm session with senior coaches led to a worldwide successful online coach platform for millennials.
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INSPIRATIE
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