THE IMP.
March, 1925.
EDITORS. E. IzAwcErr. P. ' FARRELL.
COMMITTEE. Third Year Representative—K. ALLSOP. Second Year Representative—A. HADFIELD. Third Year Representative—R. 0. HAYNES.
TREASURER. W. DINGWALL.
THE IMP No. 18.
HILARY TERM.
1925.
EDITORIAL. HETHER it were flu or schools-fever or that scarcely less malignant complaint Pass Mods fever that went near to kill the Imp this term, we cannot tell; but true it is that there was one
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day last week when we thought him past hope, and that it is only by artificial means he has been kept alive at all. For had it not been for an extra day allowed for contributions, and the heroic efforts made by some of his friends at the last moment, we doubt whether he could ever have emerged again from the editor's office to squat in the public eye. It is to this haste of composition that we must attribute the falling off in our contributions since last term's number ; while the title of Evelyn Crier's prize-parody pleads the same excuse for its short-comings. Though at the last moment the number of contributions which came in was encouraging, and the selection difficult, we do not think that a college whose main pursuit is literature should have to concoct its magazine in one day, and under such relentless coersion as can only be matched by a press-gang or a highwayman's pistol. Such artificial stimulus will not be used again ; and we wish to draw attention to the danger which threatens The Imp, of which more will be shortly heard. We should like to take this opportunity of thanking Histriomastix for the trouble he has taken in coming all the way from the early years of the Eighteenth Century to view our College play and pass his comment upon it. His opinion as a contemporary of Mr. Farquhar (as his language and spelling amply prove) is of great value to us ; but we hope that since, as his name implies, he is something of a puritan and a disapprover of players, he will not be too much shocked by the loud and prolonged laughter which his remarks cannot fair to provoke alike among actors and audience cI the 'Beaux Stratagem.'
THE IMP. A TRAINING IN METHOD. Twenty years ago what could the average University Woman contemplate as her life's career? In nine cases out of ten there was no choice but to spend the rest of her working days in a Girls' High School as an Assistant Mistress. She might have no talent or taste for teaching. That did not matter. To-day, what a different situation presents itself ! The born teacher may still follow her natural bent ; but how many of us are born teachers? For the rest, the difficulty lies rather in the complexity than in the limitation of choice. To-day, medicine, law, politics, journalism, commerce, all have opened their doors to women. What boundless opportunities lie before the woman who is keen and who understands her work ! But how is one to gain that understanding? How, in these days of competition, is one to gain that understanding and get even a first footing in the political, the literary or the business world ? These are the questions that naturally occur to one. A University Degree alone is clearly not a sufficient qualification. One must have specialised training as well ; and in all problems as to training and careers one cannot do better than consult the Central Employment Bureau for Women at 54, Russell Square. The Central Bureau, moreover, not only has a fine reputation as a centre of vocational guidance, but is rapidly gaining repute as a centre of Secretarial Training. The Training in Method which the Bureau provides is unique, combining as it does instruction in the usual subjects of a Secretarial Course with practical experience in the actual working of the various departments of a live organisation. The Publishing Department; the Loan Fund, the Appointments Department, the Enquiries Bureau, all have their being at 54, Russell Square, and the student gains valuable experience in the working of each. For those who can give a year to the training a special Diploma Course is available which is designed primarily for University Graduates and includes instruction in the higher branches of Secretarial Work. On the completion of her training, the student is at once put in touch with congenial work by the Appointments Department of the Bureau. A glance at the Record Book of past students reveals women engaged in a variety of ways—on the editorial staff of London newspapers, as organising secretaries for Charitable Societies, as private secretaries to Members of Parliament, as confidential secretaries to City Companies—a choice of careers which would have been the despair and envy of the Graduate of twenty years ago. ■..,
P.M1.4110.1040
THE IMP. GAMES REPORTS. S. H.C. N. C. Captain—G. BARKER. Vice-Captain—W. BROOKE. Secretary—N. OSBORNE.
• The result of the netball matches played this term has been very successful : only three have been played, but all of them have been .won. Unfortunately one or two which might have proved a mOre severe test had to be scratched. N. Moller, who has changed her position from defending centre to shooter, has played well throughout the term. V. Fowler makes an excellent attack •' she both shoots and gets free well. R. Greenhill is very fast and energetic but lacks control. W. Brooke is excellent at centre, where her pace and intercepting are at their best advantage. N. Osborne plays a splendid attacking game but does not mark closely enough. M.'. Ding-wall combines well but is too slow. D. Clark and B. Lacey, who are both first year, are very promising and have proved invaluable as substitutes. E. Lingard and M. Ellis are also promising.• The Cuppers remain to be played and to add, we hope, to the list of victories. S., N. Moller ; A., V. Fowler ; A.C.; R. Greenhill ; C., W. Brooke ; D.C., G. Barker ; D., N. Osborne ; G., W. Dingwall. S. H.C. L., C. Captain—W. BROOKE. Vice-Captain—G. BARKER. Secretary—H. M. OsnoRNE. College practices have not taken place regularly every week this term, but they have been, on the whole, more encouraging. The combination among the attacks has been much better, the defences still hesitate too much before making up their minds whether-to stand and wait for the attack or to run out and tackle. Mrs. Gulland has been most kind in coaching College practices, and we have found her advice very useful. She thinks there is excellent material to work on, but at present the game is too uneven : there it but also very weak ones. rare .brilliant spots Two 1st XII matches have been played this term, one against Downe House School—lost 12-4 I, and one against Reading University—won 13-5. The St. Hugh's team played a disappointing game in the second half of the Downe House match but made up .
THE IMP. for it at Reading. G. Barker played particularly well in the latter match. The 1st XII. team consists of the following :G., M. Brook : Clearing better. Stops hard balls well but is apt to let easy ones through. Recommended for colours. P., W. Dingwall: Is keeping her head better and playing well. Must have more confidence in herself. C.P., R. Learoyd : Plays a steady and dependable game and combines well ; is valuable in'an uphill game. 3rd Man, G. Laurie : Plays an energetic and effective game but is inclined to muddle. Tackles well. 3rd Home, 0. Barker : Has played a consistently brilliant game this term ; her pace and accuracy in passing, catching and shooting has been invaluable to the team. 2nd Home, M. Horn: Has played better towards the end of this term. Is still slow in combining, but her shooting is more accurate. 1st Home, A. Jeans : Is still inclined to dodge when she ought to shoot and so miss opportunities of scoring. Her game is very promising. R.A., E. Leslie-Jones : Has played very well this term ; her technique is good, she has brilliance and dash, but allows the ball to be taken away too easily by the opposing defence. L.A., H. M. Osborne : Plays an excellent game but is not enough on the defensive. Her shooting is valuable in the team. R.D., D. Neville-Rolfe : Plays a very effective game; her marking and tackling are excellent but her stick-work is still weak. L.D., S. Budenberg : Has played consistently well this term. A valuable defence ; plays with her head and is quite untiring, always there when you want her. The 1st XII. Cuppers are to be played this week. St. Hugh's meets S.O.H.S. on Thursday. The znd XII. beat L.M.H. 7—o in the Final Cupper last week, and Somerville in the Semi-Finals by 3 goals _the week before. M. Ashford, G. Laurie, and D. Taylor won their colours and M. Wardell and J. Lace were recommended for theirs. The defence played extremely well in both matches and the combination among the attacks was good. In both games the attacks improved considerably in the 2nd half. The 2nd XII is, on the whole, very promising. M. Slaney and E. Bonner have been unable to play with the 1st XII this term, but they are both playing in the cup matches this week.
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THE IMP. S. H. C. H. C. Captain—E, V. FOWLER. Vice-Captain--H. E. FIEDLER. Secretary—M. CowELL-SMITH.
The hockey season was, to all intents and purposes, brought to a close by the Final cup match v. Somerville on Tuesday,. March 3rd. Lacrosse and netball Cuppers will be enough to occupy our attention until the end of term. Last term the task of judging the merits of the XI's individually or as a whole was somewhat difficult, owing to the fact that both teams rarely played at full strength ; consequently the combination was poor and the games very ragged. This term, however, our matches have not clashed so much with United fixtures and as a result the combination, especially that of the 1st XI, has improved enormously, and with it the play of individual members. Though it is hard to single out special cases of improvement, H. Gent, R. Learoyd, M. Fookes, W. Murrell, J. Machin, and R. Greenhill deserve honourable mention. We have had to scratch several practices this term owing to bad weather. This was especially unfortunate for those members who are not in either XI and who therefore do not get so many chances of playing. Matches played this term are as follows :— 1st XI v. St. Katherine's, Wantage, won, 15—o. University College, Reading, lost, 3-5. Oxford Etceteras, won, 4-2. Oxford High School, won, 12-2. New College School, won, 8-3. L. M. H. , won, 4-0. Somerville, lost, 2-4. 2nd XI v. University College, Reading, lost, 2-10. Headington High School, lost, 4-5. Somerville, lost, 3-6. The znd XI has some good and hard working players but, on the whole, lacks steadiness and skill. R. Greenhill is a fast and energetic centre and now she is learning to keep her place she is proving a useful member of the team. Taylor at centre-half has nice stick-work but wanders too much and so muddles the defence. P. Martin as left-half works very hard and marks well. G., E. Lingard ; backs; A. Ogilvie, H. Wilson§ halves, U. Morse, D. Taylor§, P. Martin§ ; forwards, F. Thelwell, R. Greenhills, J. Cartwright§, N. Symes§. 1st XI :— Goal, V. Russell.*f. Has played magnificently whenever tested, stopping and clearing excellent.
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R.-Back, M. Fookes.* Has much improved both in pace and stickwork. A steady back. L.-Back, M. Moss.* A reliable back whenever on her form. Is inclined to tackle too much with the reverse stick. Clearing good. R.-Half, H. Fiedler.*f An energetic player with a good hit. Feeds her wing and inner well but is inclined to wander too much. L.-Half, I. Machin.* Marks her wings extremely well. Judges well when to come in and take the opposing right inner. Must be still quicker in taking free hits and in recovering when passed by the wing. R.-Wing, R. Learoyd.* Has improved very much this term. Has determination and centres well. Needs to vary her play more and learn to combine with the inner. R.-Inner, M. Slaney.*t An unrivalled shot. Will be a great loss to the team. Centre, M. Cowell-Smith.* Fast and neat and rushes well in the circle. Must develop a push shot to the right and pass further ahead. L.-Inner, W. Murrell.* A promising player. Her shooting, passing and dodging have all improved, and with a little more determination and dash she could become very good indeed. L.-Wing, H. Gent.* Fast, dribbles well and works very hard ; centreing not hard enough and often not far enough ahead. f Badges. *1st XI colours. §2nd XI colours. ■141.1.4
111.1.41.
CRITICISM OF THE FINAL HOCKEY CUPPER. Somerville beat St. Hugh's in the final round of the Intercollegiate Cup. It was an extraordinarily good and clean game for so exciting an event, and both teams are to be congratulated on their coolness and resourcefulness. For the first ten minutes St. Hugh's looked like scoring several times, but the forwards were weak in the circle and the keen marking of the Somerville defence soon bore them down. The game then became very fast and even, but Somerville were much more dangerous in the circle and scored twice in the first half, one a beautiful shot from the right inner'from a good pass from the left wing. Both sides were playing all out ; and although Somerville were ahead they had all they could do to keep the lead. In the second half St. Hugh's again seemed to have the best of the game and added another goal. They were pressing much more than in the first half, but the forward line was ragged. At ' time ' the score was two all, and after a short interval an extra five minutes each way was played. Somerville looked thoroughly done and the odds were to St. Hugh's, who seemed fresher. At half-time the score was still the same, but three minutes before
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the end Somerville were very lucky in netting the ball from a melee in front of goal. This heartened the Somerville forwards and within another minute they had netted a second, making the final score The result fully justifies the superiority of the .Someville forward line.' Bull did much excellent work and shot extremely well, but.towards.the end was inclined to wander too much. Hardy and Sharp were, very quick and neat. The left inner was weak. The halves, especially the centre and right, were excellent ; and the right back, though slow, gave her opponents few chances. For St. Hugh's, Slaney was dangerous but found it difficult to get free from the left-back.. Cowell-Smith was fast and did much good work but needs to practice passing better to the tight.. The left wing was fast but got little support from her inner. The centre half was excellent, giving her forwards beautiful passes time after time, which were not put to account. The left half improved in the second half but did not back up her forwards sufficiently at first: The backs were sound, though slow in the circle. Both goalkeepers were excellent.
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(/) WHAT OXFORD HAS DONE FOR OUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS.
THE IMP. THE BEAUX STRATAGEM. 5-6-7 FEBRUARY, 1925. On Saturday I to St. Hugh's, where they did present The Beaux Stratagem, by Ensign Farquhar, who hath own'd to it that the Reader may find some faults in this Play,' but says that there is great Amends made in the Representation ' ; yet had he known that his admir'd Piece shou'd one Day be entrusted to a College of young learned Ladies, tho' he might have felt less Discomposure at the Loss of Mrs. Oldfield and Mrs. Bradshaw, it may be doubted whether he had borne without some Scruple the Displacing of Wilks and Bowman and Gibber by a Parcel of Petticoats. To say Sooth, it is the Depth of the masculine Voice that is most often miss'd on these Occasions ; yet they of Ft. Hugh's arc to be commended in general (and in especial Squire Sullen) for their. Rousing Tones, tho' Bonniface, who play'd otherwise with a great Gust, did sometimes forgetfully squeak more like a Lady than a Landlord, as the Saying is ; and the voice of Gibbet accorded better with Ratafia than the Road. Yet Libber himself cou'd scarce have better'd her for spluttering a Laugh into a Pint Pot. To speak first of them that play'd in their own Sex, my Lady Bountiful was right grave and sollicitous in her Air, and her Bedside Manner had not disgrac'd a Gold-headed Cane. For Dorinda, 'twere unfit to borrow the bold Front of the Oxford Magazine, which avers that she was a genuine Charmer ' ; but certainly 'twas pretty to see her languish, and be comforted by Mrs. Sullen, who did act Old field's part with much Composure and Assurance, and seem'd no Novice to the Stage. The Country Woman was as near perfect as might be, and Gipsy the Pattern of a Litchfield Abigail. Cherry was pert enough, and made much play with her Panniers. For the Men, I have seen it written that Scrub died at Salisbury in the year 1744, but do not now believe it. He has indeed perfectly the wooden Face and the China Eye, and plays the Dullard very natural. Sullen was such another ill-featur'd Rake-hell as fuddles his Wits among Grooms when he shou'd rather sharpen them at the Play ; in sooth he made but a nauseous pale Picture, yet did he speak and act so life-like in his Cups as 'twas marvellous in a Wench. The Count Bellair and Sir Charles were pleasant Gentlemen of their Nations, and the Brogue of Foigard no less enveloping than his Hat. Archer did carry much of the Burden of the Piece, yet did make it no Burden, and shall long be remember'd wearing one Wig and combing another. 'Twas well done in the impudent Dog at times to sound another Accent than of mere Frolick, and so disclose the Hardness of a broken Gentleman flying at a Fortune. 'Twas Aim-well's part to be softer in Rap.
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sodies, and truly he look'd a Pretty Fellow, and expiated on Love with good Devotion, and did so squeeze Dorinda's Hand as it brought Tears to her Eyes. The Fig-ht with Rapiers was none so ill carried, tho' Bagshot and Hounslow were something too Gentlemanlike in their Fencing when they had Archer at Advantage, and did suffer themselves to be bound a Thought too readily. The Tapster, as I guess'd, had slept among the Straw and seen Ghosts. There was a Consort of Musick, mighty pretty, and the Scenes and Garniture of such Fitness and Discretion as to make an apt Background, and not strike boldly upon the Eye. The Custom of Orange-Wenches, tho' pretty, I cannot so much commend ,for indeed some Gallants did speak ill of the Fruit, and one in the Side-Boxes had like to have been chok'd thereby ; yet did every Man discreetly forbear to. hurl his China Orange at the Players, who did rather deserve the Nosegays which the Close of the sennet brough them in good Plenty. And so home, where truly I rid find my Cravat was crept under my left Ear, and did no longer marvel that several of my old Acquaintances had lookt but coldly upon me. HISTRIO-MASTIX.
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THE COMPETITION. A prize of 7/6 has been awarded to Evelyn Cryer for the best parody of a modern author.
EVE, EVE. (On reading the Imp's appeal for a parody, March 4th, 1925, together with the threat to withdraw the prize.) Eve, Eve— What shall I call her? (Confidential.) (She has only one name you see) Sat down At her table brown To think out a parody. Eve, Eve Thought herself weary, She wept to herself wept she, ' I try to rhyme but heights sublime are very far from me' I have some paper, Some bright white paper ; Yes, I have my paper, But what can I write there?
THE IMP. For I want an author, A nice new author ; I've looked for an author 'Most everywhere.' The Ink told The Paper and The Paper told The Editor ' She would awfully like to enter as Competitor.' (Such pride 1) The Editor Said ' Certainly ' And went to tell The Committee, The Committee Laughed scornfully, Preparing to deride' You'd better tell Her Impudence She cannot scan Committee, and Has little skill Beside.' I had some paper, Some bright white paper ; But now it's all got inky I think I hardly dare . . . . (Though I would love pennies, Round brown pennies . . . . And the Imp it seems has pennies Still to spare.) •••■ •■ ••••■••••••■■ •
ARE MY GIRLS PLOUGHING? (The theme of this poem—a dialogue between Tutor and Examiner—is of great antiquity.) Are my girls ploughing That I was used to coach, And hear their essays flaccid, Without word of reproach? Ay, your girls are padding With purple patches now, No change—though you behold not The style they use to plough.
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THE IMP. Are nouns declining, With stems both short and long, Do girls correct the errors I never said were wrong? Ah ! weak, is their endeavour, They gaze with puzzled frown ; The noun declines, the writer Declines to write the noun. Is my star pupil shining, Who seemed a scholar born, And is she clearly writing As she sits down each morn ? Ah! she sits down sorely, She sits down not to write, Her thoughts too deep to fathom On pages blankly white. Ah, but my friend will pass her, Though dark is his design, Or has he found a pupil A surer first than mine ? Yes, dark is my designing If not as you would choose, I plough a friend's star pupil, Never ask me whose. F.S. •• •• ,..
s-•■ •■ ■ ■
A LA MANIERE DE . . . The key turned in the lock, and the jailer thrust into the cell a crust of bread, and a cup of water ; the biead had been smeared with pâté d'hareng saur, for Jacques' heart had been touched by the weary look in Marguerite's eyes ; after all, he had a wife and children at home, and they not infrequently relished such a bonbouche. Marguerite made no movement ; she sat on the halfbroken chair with her beautiful head on her arms, her thoughts far away. What would England's gay assemblies say, could they see her now ? She, Marguerite, the wife of that fop Sir Percy Blakeney, the sister of the charming Armand St. Just . . She called to mind the events of the past dark hours. Ah! Mon Dieu ! how horrible had they been ! and it was she, she who had committed that most inexcusable piece of folly, when she had given away Percy's real hiding-place by mistake.
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When she had been called out to her trial, she had found halfa-dozen ruffians sitting round a green baize-covered table. Ah, how revolting to her sight had been the greasiest and most ruffianly of them ; a man of extraordinary height, clad in filthy sacking ; round his waist had hung a string of onions, the odour of which permeated the whole room. Marguerite's delicately-chiselled nostrils quivered at the remembrance. She recollected that she had said to herself, with the swift, unerring logic of a woman : He was once in the green-grocery trade, and now his business approximates more nearly to that of a butcher.' But how could her thoughts dwell on aught but Percy ; a sudden vision of him rose up before her eyes . . . gay, debonair, yawning, as with a gesture of inimitable grace he flicked an imaginary speck of dust from the filmy lace at his wrist. Ah, Percy, my beloved,' she moaned ; I have betrayed you.' To the question put her by the Committee of Public Safety : Where did you last see your husband ? ' she had replied, halffainting, At the Chat-Rouge.' How should she remember that this was the one place Percy had told her not to mention ? She had been unnerved at that moment by the behavour of the sacking-clad ruffian, for without a word of apology he had spat on the floor. It was horrible, horrible ; she was not used to it. And now that she had given away the hiding-place of the League, Percy would be taken to the guillotine, and she! . . . it mattered not what was to be, her fate. One incident remained clearly in her mind ; the tall ruffian had flicked away a piece of onion-skin from his wrist with a vaguely familiar gesture. She was too tired to think why it should have seemed familiar. And now the key again turned in the lock. Marguerite was to be taken to the Conciergerie for further trial. She was conducted to the Marie-Noire that waited without. Again her nostrils dilated at the presence of the noisome onion-seller. Madame will, I hope, be comfortable,' he said as he bolted the door of the vehicle ; the bolt jammed for an instant before slipping into place, and Marguerite's ears burned as his appalling curse penetrated through the door ; though she could not be sure, it had sounded like Sacre mille cochons 1 ' Marguerite lost consciousness ; when she recovered, it was again the sound of swearing that rang in her ears, but this time the curse was unmistakably British, and, moreover, there was only one man in Britain who could say so resonant a Demo ! ' The door was opened ; this time with an elegant flourish, and a lazy voice drawled, Lud, m'lady, I vow I am not a dainty object to the sight, nor to the smell, but . . ,
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Before he could finish, Marguerite had swept into his eager arms, and her sweet head lay on his breast. ' Percy,' she murmured, ' forgive me, I was so foolish . . . ' Sweetheart,' he cried, dropping on to one knee, 'tis I should ask pardon of my lady,' and he imprinted a burning kiss on her hand. But what have you done with the other men who were with you ? ' she asked. England's laziest and most elegant courtier pointed to the ditch, where two men lay dead and a third gagged ; Marguerite glanced back, where, at regular intervals along the road might be seen half-a-dozen still forms, felled every one with the almost mathematical precision of a man whose chief characteristic was a nice punctiliousness. ' Egad,' said Sir Percy, stifling a yawn, ' I'm most prodigiously sleepy, m'dear ; I'll tell you how it all came about when we are in greater safety. In a few hours we can reach Calais (I have all the necessary papers), and there, like a white sea-bird, the " Day Dream " lies at anchor and awaits our corning.'
There's a fairy in the tree-tops Dancing, dancing, With moon-beams on her twinkling toes Glancing, glancing ; There are stars within the little pool Fair and gay, Curly little wind-blown clouds Laughing in play ; And all the funny brown owls Calling to the moon, And fairy music piping— Because . . . . through the gloom There's a fairy in the tree-tops Dancing .
THREE TRANSLATIONS FROM THE FRENCH. (i) An epigram against translators Would you know. why Jeremy Bewailed himself so frequently? The prophet saw what did await him, One day would Lefranc translate him. —Voltaire.
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(2) To M. Vietry, on his opera ' The Judgment of Midas.' The court has decided your fate Hissed songs that the town hailed with cheers. Alas ! That the ears of the great Are often such very great ears. —Voltaire. (3) Epitaph on himself. I have lived without much, thinking, Following nature, eating, drinking, Lived gently, without stir : And it greatly does surprise me Death should think of and should prize me Who ne'er thought of her. —Mathurin Reynier. R. O. H. •-••■ •••■■■ 1••••■ %
THE WAY TO DELPHI. A bargain is a serious morning's work in Greece. It is no use being impatient. about it, for it is fatal to let the other party see you have a great longing for the wooded coast of Aetolia across the blue Corinthian Gulf stirred by a westerly breeze. If one is to escape with a curtailed fleecing the whole gamut of indifference, obsequiousness, indignation, grief and anger must be played out, and all the appropriate contortions of face and limb be registered before a hand-clasp and a drink clinch the matter. It was noon before all this had come about and the westerly breeze had freshened into a young gale. With luck the crossing of the gulf from Aegion to Itea is a five hours' sail, and at first we had every hope of doing it in less. One hour out, I lost all interest in the proceedings, and lay mutely on a coil of chain with only enough consciousness to wish the boat at the bottom of the sea. Then we came under the lee of Parnassus and I sat up and began to take notice. The others, who had retained their interest in life, had been having an exciting time. There had been moments, I gathered, when my prayer had been very nearly answered. Now we were across the Gulf in safety, but still two hours' away from Itea, with a rocky promontory in between, dangerous to negotiate. Our skipper decided it was best to anchor where we were, in comparative shelter, and wait for the wind to drop at sunset, which, he assured us, was certain to happen. But at sunset there was no change and we were told we must possess our souls in patience till midnight. We were quite resigned then to spend the rest of our lives in the little calque, but we did wish we had brought some more substan-
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tial provisions than a packet of chocolate. But we did not starve : the skipper drew from a locker a large loaf of brown bread, some cooked fishes, some olives and a flask of wine : and he and his mate and we three supped royally, sharing a clasp-knife and pulling in turn at the flask. It was a brilliant night of stars and later a moon appeared ; the skipper suggested that we should descend into a small hole in the bow of the boat, used for storing fish, and sleep there. He was rather hurt that we refused, he had brought his mother and four sisters, he told us, in this same little boat all the way from the Sea of Marmora (they were refugees) ; they must have slept in layers l We spent a long time picturing how we would like our worst enemies with us and put them in that hole, and cover it up and sit on it. At midnight the wind showed no sign of abating and we knew we would have to wait till dawn. We slept in snatches huddled in the stern, but it grew very cold and there wasn't much room to stretch our legs. Between four and five, when a faint yellow light was just beginning to touch the snows on the upper slopes of Parnassus, the wind fell considerably and we cast anchor. At six we landed triumphantly on the quay at Itea, and said good-bye to our friend late from the Sea of Marmora. After a large omelette and some very black coffee we shouldered our packs and walked a steep stoney road to pay our respects at the shrine of Apollo the far-darter.
THWARTED. The gale, poor fiend, has wrought Strange pictures where he sought To swamp and break. The willows 'neath his frown From simple trees to gnomes have grown Squat, million-fingered, old, Sturdily mocking him, while distraught He strives in cavernous billows to drown The skiff of the three-day moon Limned in clear gold, On his foam crests poised like a swan. Below lies mirrored the cloudy maze of his wrath upon The lake He fretted to make. M. B.
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MENTAL COSMETICS. Long - ago, in the violet gloom of the 'nineties, Max Beerbohm began the exhibition of an exquisite prose style in an essay, ' In Defence of Cosmetics.' He began, I say, to show forth an exquisite prose ; but his subject ? Delicately artificial as it seemed in the eyes of those who admired the Yellow Book,' under a twentieth-century gaze there seems something crude in it, unworthy of the delicious grace of its presentation. How marvellous a fact to throw in the faces of those who deny progress ; how wonderful a piece of evidence with which to confute those who declare that the art of the artificial died with the last decade of the nineteenth century : the fact that we, more subtle, have realised that we use mental cosmetics better than physical. The poses of the twentieth century, decorated with a delightful self-consciousness, clothe us with a more subtle artificiality than all the perfume, the powder, than all the rouge, the Pp-stick in the world. It is a delicious thing to walk into a perfumer's and to let the body forget itself in absorbing impressions ; the faint air of a thousand cosmetics, the infinitesimal ivory carvings of lip-sticks, the powder bowls precious with Chinese jade ; so that it is utterly forgotten ; it escapes from itself, remembering only these various delights. But how much more delicious a thing to take, as from a casket of crystal, the various coloured, the variously scented poses from which you are to choose—to decide which mood will become the day, the hour. Whether the milkmaid ; when outside, a whimsical early sky dances with sun : whether the cynic, weary and tolerant, to whom all things seem the same ; on a cloudly night with the tasting of green Chartreuse : whether the crudely romantic ; on Italian hills beneath an immense apricot-coloured moon : whether even the ' hearty ' ; when it is summer (for the hearty ' in winter is undoubtedly a cosmetic in the most deplorable taste) and a cold bath before breakfast is robbed of all but its intrinsic and unavoidable horror . . . So that thus the mind is utterly forgotten ; it escapes from itself, remembering only these delights, their sweetest flavours of subtlety. Oh that Buddha, who knew that the ultimate happiness was to cease to be himself in Nirvana, had known that he could do it thus ! Oh that those who sought immortality through the ages had known that there is none more than that of being ten thousand people, of having ten thousand poses ! since, when the essences of all the types that ever have been and ever will be have been tasted, nothing more remains ; which is eternity gained,
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Finally, how can one too much praise our century ; which has gone from subtlety to subtlety ; has realised intellectual beauty ; and the secret of Nirvana ; and the method of immortality ; by means of mental cosmetics. R.O.H. 0.••■■ •■ •■ 11.11
LILITH DE NOS JOURS or LADY INTO SNAKE. Bright on a summer's morn I saw her first, Lithe-moving, lissom as a sapling ash That sways and bends to some mysterious breeze, Though what the breeze or where, or whence it came I puzzled long to find—without success. And so she passed and re-passed, and I watched Through one whole year the magic of her gait And smiled to see those swaying shoulders surge, Urging the feet beneath them to advance, Until she seemed a rippling purple wave Or lithe bright scarlet flame that curled and sprang And on a sudden sank amid the coals. And day by day her suppleness increased, Till as she writhed her sinuous way along Her form, erst sinuous, layrinthine now, So firm, so sure no hand may 'ere untie ; And as I gazed, amazed, (as she) and wept To think how never more her feet might bear Her form, erst sinuous, labyrinthine now, And pondered deeply whether meat and drink Can- travel• through a knot—or not. I saw How all her body changed to burnished green And all her limbs became one single tube. Coil upon coil•of shimmering length lay there As swiftly she untwined the mazy knot And slithered out of view. And still she trails Her gleaming way through dreary corridors And still I marvel at the marvel of her gait—. Sinuously swift, supinely sinuous. .
p.1•41.11.111,.11.4
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REVIEW. A NEW Boos ON PSYCHO-ANALvsIs. By Professor O'Fsop. (Talko and Blowy. 3d.) We must congratulate Professor O'Fsop upon his resolve to publish the results of a life spent in the service of psycho-cultural investigation. He has given us a book that is not merely a scientific treatise of remarkable insight and vivacity, but ;a moral and spiritual revelation that strikes at the very root of all the evils that for centuries have darkened the world. It requires some courage for a man hitherto unknown to come forward with a theory that will undoubtedly disprove those of all previous psycho-analysts and expose the fact that the foundations of scientific thought are built upon sand. All psycho-analysts are agreed that life must be explained in terms of one or other of the instincts. According to Freud the world is governed by the sex instinct, according to Trotter by the herd instinct, while the biologists of the past generation pin their faith to the instinct of self-preservation. After dealing summarily with these theories Professor O'Fsop brings forward his own, namely that mankind is actuated in all its doings and sayings by nothing more nor less than the Punch-in-the-Face instinct. The fact that large quantities of people gathered together do not punch each other in the face proves that they are suffering from a complex of the Punch-in-the-Face instinct. This is his most powerful argument against Dr. Trotter and proves the fallacy of the herd instinct theory, for if people were actuated by the herd instinct they would punch each other in the face. In further proof of his theory Professor O'Fsop shows how from time immemorable the Punch-in-the-Face instinct has been the mainspring of man's every action, and it is chiefly to the repression . of this instinct that he ascribes the evils that have befallen man in modern times. There is scarcely a person alive who is not suffering from a complex of the Punch-in-the-Face instinct. The nearest approach to the normal man, says the Professor, is the boxer. Survivals of the time when this instinct had full play are to be found in all the small incidents of our daily life. In war, art, music, all games, even in the way we eat and drink the Punch-in-the-Face instinct struggles to find expression. Expression of this instinct in a perverted form causes us to tap our egg at breakfast. Repression of it causes the complex that makes some people open their egg with a knife. The predilection of the female for powdering her nose dates from the time when the nose was the target of the punch, the fact that the newest shades of powder incline to the green and mauve
THE IMP. encourages Professor O'Fsop to believe that we are gradually reverting to the good old times when normal complexions exhibited these hues. Another indication of the same tendency is the gradual substitution of The typewriter for the pen. In the world of art no less than that of manner this instinct is apparent. Artists compelled to repress their natural desire to punch sublimate it by painting pictures which, though they may bear some such title as Lady Holding Green Vase,' are easily recognised as graphic representations of a punch. The impulse to punch is an international instinct, and as such finds its highest expression in war. Peace is but the complex produced by the repression of war. It is exhibited at its worst in the League of Nations. The only radical method of treating a:complex is to split it up and re-associate it so that its voice is forever silenced. Only by applying these principles to the League of Nations and other similar institutions can the world be saved from the bondage of the Peace Complex. • Professor O'Fsop has given many diagrams to show how complexes arise. He takes the familiar cross-word puzzle and shows how it arises from a thwarted desire to Punch.
Normal. Punch --0
desire to hit
Abnormal.
F
word
desire to speak
resulting superfluity of words find vent in cross word puzzles. - Space forbids us to enlarge further on the merits of this excellent book, but we hope that these few words will stimulate all thinking people to read it for themselves. Professor O'Fsop's message is no common one. Until the world is a world of O'Fsopians it cannot be a world of normal men. Let us realise once and for all that the dominant instinct of man is not Racial Fitness but FACIAL HITNESS.
Holywell Press, Oxford.
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