F
2016 Wedding Guide
R E E !
Love is patient, love is kind . . . It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
PITTSBURGH
Catholic
Now what? Tips for the journey By ELLEN MADY The honeymoon is over. The wedding dress has been stored away. Thank-you notes have been mailed. Now comes what counts most: all the days, weeks and years lived together after the wedding. There’s no step-by-step guide that guarantees a happy, healthy marriage (if there is and I missed it, please let me know!). But there are some things spouses can do on a regular basis to live a holy and normal marriage. Holy because God stays at the center, and spousal union is meant to be a path to heaven. Normal because none of us have halos or wings, so marriage encompasses the joys and sorrows, triumphs and imperfections of daily life. • Pray together. Prioritize ways to keep God actively involved in your relationship. Go to Mass together whenever possible. Make the most of opportunities to renew your marriage vows. Take a little time to pray together each day, even if you only have a few minutes.
“The family that prays together stays together” might be cliché, but it has a point. Depending on your personal styles and habits of prayer, you might use the time of prayer you have together to read and reflect on Scripture, say the rosary, pray a novena or other prayer, or spontaneously open your hearts to the Lord. • Learn your spouse’s love language. All of us have different ways of giving and receiving love. We often give love the way we like to receive it, but sometimes our spouse has a different love language. Read Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” to learn more about the love languages and how understanding your spouse’s love language can strengthen your relationship. • Laugh frequently. As G.K. Chesterton explained: “Alone among the animals, he (man) is shaken with the beautiful madness called laughter; as if he caught sight of some secret in the very shape of the universe hidden from the universe itself” (“The Everlasting Man”). Marriage is a wonderful opportunity to discover
Remarrying well with children By DEACON WILLIAM F. URBINE The situation Sam, 45, and Sally, 37, have been married for 2½ years. It’s a second marriage for both. Sam was married at 20. He divorced at 35 and obtained an annulment. Sam has done coparenting with his ex-wife for a number of years. Sam brings two children from his first marriage, ages 14 and 12. Sally was widowed for three years prior to her marriage to Sam. She has a 10-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son from her first marriage. While the initial phase of dating, courtship, engagement and early marriage went well, there is a lot of competition among the children today. Sam and Sally often feel frustrated with the behavior of their respective children. This has caused tension between the couple and resentment toward the children. They both want this marriage to work well. A response Keep talking. Besides the beauty both Sam and Sally find in each other, there are many gifts and challenges that need to be acknowledged. They need to keep talking about the gift of each member to the family. They shouldn’t minimize the challenges, but always preface what is said
2 Pittsburgh Catholic
by, “I say this because I love you.” Sam and Sally need to recognize that the challenges they face are normal and developmental. They are hurdles that all stepfamilies face. This reality, “We are going through tough times, but it’s normal,” can be consoling. Read a lot. The Internet offers sites that provide simple, clear articles on stepfamilies. A great source is the National Stepfamily Resource Center. The local library and the State Cooperative Extension Service are useful resources. Ohio State University’s site has helpful handouts. Take time to be a couple. Given their ages, Sam and Sally have the possibility of a 35year marriage, of which only 10 to 15 years will be spent in active parenting. Nurturing their relationship is important, even if these “dates” are time at a diner over coffee and pie. Regularly scheduling this time as a couple also sends a message to the children. Sally and Sam can also commit to going to marriage enrichment programs offered in their parish or community. They are a married couple first and also parents. Don’t be afraid to seek help. Seeking help from a competent marriage and family therapist can be very beneficial. It is a sign of great love to suggest this help early, rather than when in
and appreciate the secrets of the universe together. • Practice mercy and forgiveness. The family is the first place where an individual experiences mercy and forgiveness, and marriage lies at the heart of the family. When things get rough, be willing to both forgive and ask for forgiveness, to give and receive mercy. • Expect ups and downs. Sometimes marriage might seem like a pleasant ramble in the woods, but other times it’s more like a rollercoaster. Ups and downs are normal, so instead of getting surprised by them think about developing strategies in advance for handling different types of challenges. • Love in the little things. During the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, Pope Francis said, “Love is shown by little things, by attention to small daily signs which make us feel at home. Faith grows when it is lived and shaped by love. That is why our families, our homes, are true domestic churches.”
See Tips, Page 15 the middle of a crisis. The therapist should be familiar with stepfamily issues. The local parish priest, diocesan Catholic Charities office and the National Registry for Marriage Friendly Therapists can recommend marriage and family therapists. If Sally and Sam are really struggling in their relationship, attending a Retrouvaille weekend and follow-up program would be helpful. Retrouvaille has helped stabilize many marriages. Also, Sam and Sally should talk to other parents in stepfamilies. This will help them normalize their experiences as a family. Examine priorities. Sally and Sam might need to accept that, in their children’s eyes, loyalty to their parent might come before the marital relationship. While this is contrary to a couple’s belief that the marriage comes first, children need to feel that they will never be abandoned, especially after major losses. Children need to know that they will always be first in their parents’ concerns. Thus, Sally and Sam need to make sure to acknowledge the importance of their children’s loyalties, even as they nurture their own marriage. Talking this through is essential to a successful remarriage. Remember that change takes time. Sally and Sam need to accept that in some stepfamilies the experience is like a rollercoaster ride. Acknowledging that time can heal one’s hurts and also begin to create loving
See Remarry, Page 19
Wedding Guide 2016
Inside this issue:
13
pg
4 | Getting down to basics:
What couples should know when getting wed in the Catholic Church.
6 | Pre-marriage programs:
A list of pre-marriage classes scheduled at local parishes.
11 | Family of origin:
One’s family background can sometimes influence your chances of having a successful union.
13 | Reasons to celebrate:
Area couples are proud to announce their anniversaries.
16 | From the Vatican:
Pope: Don’t confuse marriage with other kinds of unions.
18 | Considering marriage:
First consider if you are willing to compromise for your future spouse.
On the cover... FR
2016 Wedding Guide
EE
“Marriage: the Mystery of Faithful Love”
!
Marriage teaches spouses humility, making them realize that the human person is a very poor lover. Much as we long to love and to be loved, we repeatedly fall short and desperately need help. We must bind ourselves through sacred vows so that the bond will grant our love the strength necessary to face the tempest-tossed sea of our human condition. For no love is free from periods of difficulties. But (as Kierkegaard aptly remarks), because it implies will, commitment, duty, and responsibility, marriage braces spouses to fight to save the precious gift of their love. It gives them the glorious confidence that with God’s help, they will overcome the difficulties and emerge victorious.
love is patient, Love is rs all . It bea kind . . all believes things, things, hopes all . things, ngs s all thi endure er fails. Love nev -8 ians 13:4
1 Corinth
BURGH
PITTS Catholic
Alice Von Hildebrand Cover design by David Pagesh
VISIT THE MARKETPLACE: WWW.PITTSBURGHCATHOLIC.ORG
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PITTSBURGH
Catholic 135 First Ave. • Suite 200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 1-800-392-4670 www.pittsburghcatholic.org
Vol. 7, No. 5
Publisher | Bishop David A. Zubik General Manager | Ann Rodgers Editor | William Cone Operations Manager | Carmella Weismantle Wedding Guide Project Editor William Cone Associate Editors Phil Taylor (Special Projects) Chuck Moody (News) Staff Writer | John W. Franko Graphic Designers David Pagesh | Karen Hanlin Advertising Director Carmella Weismantle Account Executives Michael A. Check | Paul Crowe Michael Wire Circulation Mgr./Parish News Coord. Peggy Zezza Administrative Assistant | Karen Hanlin
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Getting married in the Catholic Church Can there be a nuptial Mass when one of the parties is not Catholic?
By the staff of the Department for Canon and Civil Law Services Couples considering marriage within the Diocese of Pittsburgh can avoid many problems and misunderstandings if they become familiar with the diocesan regulations for this foundational sacrament before they begin planning their wedding. Questions that one couple has are generally common questions that many couples have. The purpose of this article is to clarify and provide answers to some of these common questions.
Although is it not the norm, the law of the church permits the celebration of a nuptial Mass for the marriage of a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic, if the couple wishes. Marriage between a Catholic and a nonbaptized person always takes place outside of Mass.
Why does the Catholic Church have all of these marriage requirements?
When should the engaged couple contact a priest? Engaged couples are required to contact their parish priest to discuss their plans at least six months before their intended wedding date, since the church considers all plans tentative until the marriage applications and documents are completed. Additionally, there may be necessary steps that the couple needs to take if one or both of them have lived outside of the Diocese of Pittsburgh as an adult, and these steps can take time to complete. The priest determines if there is freedom and readiness to marry or if other reasons prevent the marriage from taking place in the Catholic Church.
Are marriage classes still required? Yes, marriage preparation classes are considered an important component of the couple’s readiness to be married. Couples can choose from various formats contingent upon their personal schedules and preferences. Evening sessions are held four times a year in the St. Paul Cathedral Parish social hall in Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Engaged Encounter weekends (http:// www.pittsburghengagedencounter.org/) are held at various locations in the diocese. This consists of a Friday evening through Sunday afternoon format. Also, various parishes throughout the diocese conduct their own classes. Couples should contact the Office for Marriage, Family
4 Pittsburgh Catholic
and Life at 412-456-3157.
May I get married any day of the week? Weddings may not be performed on Sundays nor on holy days of obligation in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. Church law also prohibits weddings during the Easter triduum — Holy Thursday to Holy Saturday. Though permitted in serious circumstances, marriages are discouraged during the penitential season of Lent.
What happens when one of the couple is not Catholic? For a wedding to take place in the Catholic Church, at least one of the parties must be Catholic. Permission for this type of marriage (between a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christian) is required from the diocesan bishop. To obtain permission from the diocesan bishop for a mixed marriage (a marriage in which each party is of a different faith), the Catholic party must sign documents stating he or she will do everything possible to remain in the faith and to raise children as Catholics. The non-Catholic party is to be aware of these promises but is not requested to sign for the promises.
Marriage between the baptized is a sacrament. So, of course, the Catholic Church is concerned with the proper and dignified celebration of this sacrament as well as all of the sacraments of the church. Just as there are regulations, for example, for the reception of the Eucharist, for baptism and for confirmation, there are regulations that the church imposes for the reception of the sacrament of marriage.
Is it possible to have a Catholic priest and a non-Catholic minister officiate at the ceremony? No, because only one person may officiate, according to church and civil law. Similarly, services in which both the Catholic marriage ritual and the non-Catholic ritual are performed jointly or successively are not permitted. Also, for example, a priest may not elicit marital consent from the Catholic party while a minister elicits consent from the nonCatholic party. It is permitted, however, for a non-Catholic minister to participate in the Catholic marriage service. The minister may give additional prayers, blessings or words of greeting or may read a lesson if the ceremony is not part of a Mass. In ceremonies of dispensation from canonical form, the Catholic Rite of Marriage is dispensed in favor of the non-Catholic party’s wedding service, which takes place in a non-Catholic church. The Catholic
Wedding Guide 2016
priest may or may not be present. If he is present, the priest may participate by giving additional prayers or blessings at the end of the service, but since he is not the official celebrant, the Catholic priest does not sign the license or receive the consent from either party.
No, it is not permitted. This is called inter-communion and it is not permitted at weddings, and permission will not be granted for inter-communion for a mixed marriage. Neither is holy Communion given to non-Catholic congregants who attend the wedding.
marriage “did not count” or that it is a simple matter of submitting certain documents. A priest is not to set a wedding date for a couple until documents have been issued resolving the question of a prior marriage. This might be an involved matter resulting in a final decree of nullity following a formal nullity (annulment) process, or it might be a more simple matter of a decree or the submission of a death certificate. The best advice is to have the necessary decrees or documents in hand before considering a wedding date as confirmed. This advice is given to avoid cancellation of wedding venues, bands, invitations, etc., if the wedding cannot take place at the exact location and date as was anticipated.
If one party has been previously married, couples should be advised to discuss the details of the prior marriage(s) with the priest before setting a wedding date. It is best not to assume that a prior
The parish church of the bride or the groom is the ordinary place of marriage. If the couple wishes to marry in a Catholic church other than their own, they must receive permission from each of their pastors and from the pastor of the church
May a non-Catholic bride or groom receive holy Communion at the wedding?
What happens when one of the parties has been married before?
Where is the usual place of marriage?
in which they wish to marry. A couple should be aware that there may be financial charges for the use of a church other than their own. Wedding ceremonies held in chapels are discouraged, since the parish and the parish church are considered proper for celebration of this sacrament. Couples who wish to marry in an approved chapel, however, may receive special permission for the ceremony from the Office for Matrimonial Concerns. Weddings are never permitted outdoors.
Can a Catholic have a Catholic wedding ceremony in another country? Destination weddings are a part of popular culture. Although the ideal place of a Catholic wedding is in the parish church of the bride or the groom, exceptions may be made. No Catholic diocese in contact with the Diocese of Pittsburgh permits outdoor or beach weddings. Couples, however, will find Catholic See Getting Married, Page 7
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Pittsburgh Catholic 5
PARISH PRE-MARRIAGE PROGRAMS ϮϬϭϲ
CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF PITTSBURGH, OFFICE FOR MARRIAGE, FAMILY AND LIFE: 412-456-3157
To register, contact the person listed. [This schedule is updated on a regular basis.]
Date
Time
Length
Sponsor Parish
Location
St. James the Apostle
Homes of parishioners, the sponsor couples Homes of parishioners, the sponsor couples
Contact
Phone or E-mail
Fee/couple
Sr. Zoe Ann Reiter, HM
724-964-8276 x15
n/c
Fr. Thomas J. Burke, Pastor
412-741-6650 x311
n/c
Homes of parishioners, the sponsor couples
Deacon Patrick Wood
724-226-4900
$25
As needed
2 hours for each of the 5 sessions
5 meeting dates
As needed
Call for information
Call for info.
As needed
Call for information
Call for info.
St. Joseph and Our Lady of the Most Blessed Sacrament parishes
First Sunday of each month
6 sessions
10:30am-Noon
(1/mo. for 6 mos.) (cyclical)
St. Therese of Lisieux 1 Saint Therese Ct. Munhall, PA 15120
Rectory Meeting Room
Mickey Shields
whshields1@ verizon.net or call 412-462-9976
$25
Date
Time
Length
Sponsor Parish
Location
Contact
Phone or E-mail
Fee/couple
Mar 5-6 (Sat & Sun)
Sat 12-4:30pm Sun 1-6pm
2 days
St. Maurice
Forest Hills
Michele Prior
412-271-0809
$60
Mar 6 (Sun)
1:00-5:00 pm
1 day
Sacred Heart Church
Anna Marie Dougherty
412-351-3710 REGISTRATION OPENS ND JANUARY 2
$40
Mar 12 (Sat)
8:30am-4:30pm
1 day
Monsignor Ferri Hall
Joanne Basko
precana@sfcabrini.us or call 724-728-4702
$50
Mar 12 (Sat)
10:00am-4:00pm
1 day
Carmichaels
Denise Voithofer
724-966-7270
$35
Mar 18 & 19 (Fri & Sat)
Fri 6:00-9:30pm Sat 9am-3:30pm
2 days
Carrick
Parish Office
412-882-9763
$60
Mar 30, Apr 1, Apr 6, Apr 8
7:00pm-9:30pm
4 days
St. Bernard
Mt. Lebanon
Paula Mattern
412-561-3300 x103
$50
Mar 31, Apr 7, 14 & 21 (4 Thurs)
7:00pm-8:45pm
4 days
St. Cyril of Alexandria
School Library Brighton Hgts.
Jean DiDonato
412-734-0505 stcyrilreled@ yahoo.com
$45
Date
Time
Length
Sponsor Parish
Location
Contact
Phone or E-mail
Fee/couple
Butler area parishes of St. Michael the Archangel, St. Paul and St. Peter
Cheryl Weiland
724-991-2639 cweiland@ zoominternet.net
$50
Jane Nayyar
412-795-6376
$50
OurLady of the Valley
Deacon Al Poroda
724-258-7742
$50
Wexford
Deacon Jeffrey Ludwikowski
Register online: www.stalexis.org or call 724-935-4343
$35
Cranberry Twp.
Deacon Ralph Bachner
Register online: www.saintkilian.org
$25
Julie Cugini
412-833-1010 jcugini@stlouisedemaril lac.org
$75
Bette Weger
412-364-8999 bweger@saintsebastian parish.org
Parish Office
724-225-1425
MARCH 2016
(Wed, Fri, Wed, Fri)
APRIL 2016 Apr 2 & 9 (2 Saturdays)
11:45am-7pm
2 days
Apr 2 (Sat)
8:30am-3:30pm
1 day
Apr 9 (Sat)
8:30am-6:00pm
1 day
Apr 15-16 (Fri & Sat)
Fri 6pm-8pm Sat 9am-5pm
2 days
Apr 15-16 (Fri & Sat)
Fri 7:00-9:30pm Sat 9am-12pm
2 days
Fri 6pm-9pm
Apr 15-16 (Fri & Sat)
Sat 8am-4pm
Apr 15-16 (Fri & Sat)
Fri 6:30-10pm Sat 8:30am-4pm
2 days
Apr 29-30 (Fri & Sat)
Fri 6:30-9pm Sat 8:30am-3pm
2 days
(includes dinner)
2 days
(incl brkfst & lunch)
6 Pittsburgh Catholic
4019 US 422 Pulaski, PA 16143
St. James
200 Walnut St. Sewickley, PA 15143
1526 Union Ave. Natrona Hgts., PA 15065
2001 Ardmore Blvd. Pittsburgh, PA 15221
Good Shepherd (Braddock)
St. Frances Cabrini
(Center Twp) and St. John the Baptist (Monaca)
St. Hugh
408 Route 88 Carmichaels, PA 15320
St. Basil
1735 Brownsville Rd. Pittsburgh, PA 15210 311 Washington Rd. Pittsburgh, PA 15216 3854 Brighton Rd. Pittsburgh, PA 15212
St. John the Baptist 444 Saint John St. Pittsburgh, PA 15239
St. Damien of Molokai
Monongahela, PA
St. Alexis
10090 Old Perry Hwy. Wexford, PA 15090
St. Kilian
7076 Franklin Rd. Cranberry Twp., PA 16066
(Parish Center) 1600 Brinton Rd. Pittsburgh, PA 15221
St. John the Baptist
1501 Virginia Ave. Monaca, PA 15061
(Parish Hall) (Clairvaux Hall, beneath church)
(North Side)
St. Michael the Archangel 432 Center Ave. Butler, PA 16001 (Parish Hall)
Plum
(Parish Annex) 1 Park Manor Rd. Donora, PA 15033 (Parish Center)
(Parish cafeteria)
St. Louise de Marillac
Upper St. Clair
St. Sebastian
Martina Spiritual Renewal Ctr.,
320 McMurray Rd. Pittsburgh, PA 15241
Ross Twp.
Immaculate Conception 119 W. Chestnut St. Washington, PA 15301
(Le Gras Hall, Upper Level)
5244 Perrysville Ave. Pittsburgh 15229
Washington
$150
Non-members
$125 Members $40
Wedding Guide 2016
PARISH PRE-MARRIAGE PROGRAMS ϮϬϭϲ
CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF PITTSBURGH, OFFICE FOR MARRIAGE, FAMILY AND LIFE: 412-456-3157
To register, contact the person listed. [This schedule is updated on a regular basis.]
Date Date
Time
SEPTEMBER 20162 hours for each As needed Sep 16 & 17 (Fri & Sat) As needed Sep 23-24 (Fri & Sat)
OCTOBER 2016 As needed Oct 7-8 (Fri & Sat)
Fri 6:00-9:30pm of the 5 sessions Sat 9am-3:30pm Call for Fri 7:00-9:30pm information Sat 9am-12pm
Call for Fri 6:30-9pm information Sat 8:30am-3pm
First Sunday of GETTING MARRIED 10:30am-Noon each month
Continued from Page 5
Length Length
Sponsor Sponsor Parish Parish
Location Location
5 meeting dates 2 days
St. James the Apostle 4019 US 422 St. Basil
Call for 2info. days
St. James St. 200Kilian Walnut St.
Homes of parishioners, the Carrick sponsor couples (Parish Hall) Homes of parishioners, the Cranberry (Parish cafeteria) sponsor couples
Call for 2info. days 6 sessions
(1/mo. for 6 mos.) (cyclical)
parishes or shrines in various countries that will schedule a wedding for Catholics coming from the United States. Often these arrangements are made in connection with hotels or wedding planners, but couples need to be sure that these arrangements are approved by the local diocese in that country.
Pulaski, PA 16143Rd. 1735 Brownsville Pittsburgh, PA 15210
7076 Franklin Sewickley, PARd. 15143 Cranberry Twp., PA 16066
St. Joseph and Our Lady of the Most Blessed Immaculate Conception Sacrament parishes 119 W. Chestnut St. 1526 Union Ave. Washington, PA 15301 Natrona Hgts., PA 15065
Homes of parishioners, the Washington sponsor couples
Contact Contact
Phone Phoneor orE-mail E-mail
Fee Fee/couple /couple
Sr. Zoe Ann Reiter, HM Parish Office
724-964-8276 x15 412-882-9763
n/c $60
Fr. Thomas J. Deacon Ralph Burke, Pastor Bachner
412-741-6650 Register online:x311 www.saintkilian.org
n/c $25
Deacon Patrick WoodOffice Parish
724-226-4900 724-225-1425
$25 $40
whshields1@ St. Therese of Lisieux takes place in that state. Some countries United States regardingRectory obtaining a Meeting Mickey Shields verizon.net or call $25 1 Saint Therese Ct. require a formal registration of the wedding marriage license. The civil requirements Room Munhall, PA 15120 412-462-9976 can be complicated. A license from a state See Getting Married, Page 8 in this country is only valid if the wedding
Page 5 of 5
Last updated 2015-12-18
The prenuptial preparation and documentation takes place in the local parish in the Diocese of Pittsburgh, including the required instructions, but must be completed at least three months before the proposed wedding date to allow for the papers to be sent through the proper channels in a timely manner. Couples need to be aware that various countries have laws that differ from the
Wedding Guide 2016
Pittsburgh Catholic 7
GETTING MARRIED Continued from Page 7
before a magistrate prior to the church ceremony. It is the responsibility of the couple to determine what is required from the particular destination for their marriage to be recognized as civilly valid in the United States. If a couple wishes to marry in a Catholic ceremony in another country they need to begin marriage preparation early, provide the priest with the name of the pastor of the parish in which the wedding is to take place (or the name of the priest who has agreed to officiate), the full address of the parish where the wedding will be celebrated and the name of the local diocese. The prenuptial file must contain authentic certificates of Catholic baptism and confirmation and two witness affidavits concerning the marital history of the bride and two for the groom. A letter of permission from the pastor of the parish in the Diocese of Pittsburgh is needed. A certificate of attendance in a marriage preparation course is also expected. When completed, the file is authenticated by the Office for Matrimonial Concerns in the Diocese of Pittsburgh and sent via FedEx to the bishop’s office of the diocese where the wedding is to take place. The couple will need to submit a check made payable to the Diocese of Pittsburgh in the amount of $100 to cover the cost of transmitting the documents outside the United States.
who bless the marriage. When the prenuptial agreement deals with the consequences of property ownership at the time of death, there is no canonical problem. However, when an agreement is so structured to deal entirely with the maintenance of separate property and which party gets what after a divorce, this appears contrary to a partnership for the whole of life. It places into question the understanding of the permanency of marriage that the couple holds. Further, there is an inherent contradiction in planning for the divorce and the wedding in the same time frame.
Time: 7 - 9:30 p.m. SPRING SESSION
Tuesday
April 26 May 3 May 10 May 17
8 Pittsburgh Catholic
Thursday April 28 May 5= May 12 May 19
SUMMER SESSION July 5 July 12 July 19 July 26
The marriage may be performed in the rite of either Catholic party; however, premarital forms must be submitted to the Office for Matrimonial Concerns in time to seek permissions that might apply from the Eastern-rite chancery.
The marriage forms ask about a prenuptial agreement because there is an underlying premise in the church’s law that the parties to a marriage enter the marriage without condition. Marriage is to be a “partnership of the whole of life,” which by its nature is for the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children
Information is also available at www.diopitt.org/pre-marriage See parish schedule on Page 6
2016 Diocesan Classes are held at St. Paul Cathedral-Oakland Fifth Avenue at N. Craig Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15213
What happens if both of the parties are Catholic, but one is an Eastern-rite Catholic?
Why does the church ask if we have a prenuptial agreement? Why is that the church’s business?
Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh Diocesan Pre-Marriage Program Schedule 412-456-3157
An acceptable reason to have a prenuptial agreement, however, might be to provide for children of previous marriages or if it is the requirement in a business partnership to protect the interests of the other business partners. Each agreement must be examined individually to assure the church that the couple to the agreement understands and accepts the nature of marriage as binding, lasting and permanent for the couple’s natural life. For more information about diocesan marriage regulations, call the Office for Matrimonial Concerns at 412-456-3033.
July 7 July 14 July 21 July 28
FALL SESSION October 11 October 13 October 18 October 20 October 25 October 27 November 1= November 3 = May 5, Thurs., Ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ: Mass is at 6 pm and class begins at 7.
= Nov. 1, Tues., Feast of All Saints: Mass is at 6 pm and class begins at 7. Wedding Guide 2016
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Pittsburgh Catholic 9
Wedding FAQs Why does the church teach that marriage is a sacrament? Because it is sacred. Marriage is to be a union of love, and the sacraments make Christ, the author of all love, present in our midst. For this reason, marriage between two baptized people is a sacrament. Like the other sacraments, marriage is not just for the good of individuals or the couple, but for the community as a whole. The Old Testament prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between God and his people. St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church.
Do Catholics ever validly enter into non-sacramental marriages? Yes. Marriages between Catholics and non-Christians, while they may still be valid in the eyes of the church, are non-sacramental. They are still blessed by God, and with permission a priest or deacon may witness such marriages.
What is the difference between a valid and an invalid Catholic marriage? Just as individual governments have certain requirements for civil marriage (e.g., a marriage license, blood tests), the Catholic Church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the eyes of the church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and to be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by church authority.
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If a Catholic wants to marry a nonCatholic, how can he or she ensure that the marriage is recognized by the church?
If two Catholics, or a Catholic and non-Catholic, are married invalidly in the eyes of the church, what should they do?
In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see previous question), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called “permission to enter into a mixed marriage.” If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called “dispensation from disparity of cult.” The priest or deacon helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with this permission process.
They should approach a priest or deacon to resolve the situation.
Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church? Marriage is not just a private or family event but a church event. For this reason, the church teaches that marriage should be celebrated in the midst of the community, like in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.
If a Catholic wishes to marry in a place outside a Catholic church, how can he or she be sure that the marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as valid? The local bishop can permit a wedding to take place in another church or in another suitable place for a sufficient reason. For example, a Catholic seeks to marry a Baptist whose father is the pastor of the local Baptist church, and the father wants to officiate at the wedding. In these circumstances the bishop can permit the couple to marry in the Baptist church following the Baptist rite of marriage. The bishop may grant the permission for a “dispensation from canonical form.” As long as the couple follows proper protocol in filing for the dispensation with their parish priest, the marriage would be recognized as valid by the Catholic Church. A priest or deacon need not be in attendance.
When a Catholic marries a nonCatholic, must the couple promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith? The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. However, the Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can do to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.
Is it required that a wedding celebration have expensive flowers, clothes and other accompaniments? No. The Rite of Marriage makes no reference to any of these cultural elements. The focus of the couple should be on the celebration of the sacrament. Many priests and deacons repeatedly emphasize that a couple does not have to postpone celebrating the sacrament of marriage because they cannot afford such things.
How much does it cost to get married in the Catholic Church? Individual parishes regulate the stipend, or offering to the church, that is customary on the occasion of a wedding. This might also include a fee for the organist and vocalist if this is included in the ceremony. In a situation of true financial difficulty, however, couples can come to an agreement with the pastor so that financial hardship would never prevent a marriage from taking place.
What is a nuptial Mass and when can a couple have one? A nuptial Mass is a Mass that includes the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. It has special readings and prayers suitable to the celebration of the sacrament. See FAQ, Page 12
Wedding Guide 2016
Families make a difference The term “family of origin” refers to the family that you grew up in — your parents and siblings. It may also include a grandparent, other relative or divorced parents who lived with you during part of your childhood. These people strongly influence who we become. Men and women who grew up in relatively healthy, functional families make adjustments in a marriage relationship. They learn to accommodate each other. At times you may smile (or cringe) when your spouse has a different way of doing something, i.e. the wrong way. You might complain, but then adjust. For example, perhaps your mother was a fanatic about keeping a clean, neat house. You might swear that you’ll never be a slave to such a compulsion. But then you notice that your spouse is a “relaxed” housekeeper and the clutter he or she finds tolerable is starting to get on your nerves. You find
Wedding Guide 2016
comfort in returning to your own “relatively organized” space. In marriage, of course, there are a million of these differences, many minor, some big. You can and will argue about some of them, insisting that your way is the right way. It helps to take a breath and remember that unless the health department is threatening to evict you for health/safety violations, probably neither of you is completely wrong. There is room for compromise. If your family of origin had serious problems such as alcoholism, abuse, infidelity or mental illness, the unlearning and relearning can be more complicated. Adult awareness will help you not to repeat negative patterns modeled during the formative years. Once you become aware of the patterns of your family of origin, you can change them. It’s not easy, but individual and couple
counseling can free a spouse from repeating destructive behaviors. Be sure to exercise caution if either of you comes from a family with divorced parents. Many couples, observing the heartache caused by their parents’ break-up, resolve to do everything possible to avoid divorce. Since commitment is a strong predictor of marital success, this is an important strength. On the other hand, since the child of divorce may not have witnessed healthy conflict resolution or values in the family of origin, there may be underlying skill or attitude gaps. Take the time to explore what you learned about life, love and conflict in your family of origin so that you can understand how this influences your current relationship — for better and for worse. This article is from the Catholic website foryourmarriage.org.
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FAQ
Continued from Page 10 The sacrament of marriage between two baptized Catholics should normally be celebrated with a nuptial Mass. If the situation warrants, and the local bishop gives permission, a nuptial Mass may be celebrated for a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not a Catholic, except that holy Communion is not given to the nonCatholic spouse and non-Catholic guests. In such instances, it is better to use the appropriate ritual for marriage outside of Mass. The celebration of a marriage without a nuptial Mass is always the case in a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptized person.
What should a couple do when they decide that they want to marry in the Catholic Church? They should contact their parish as soon as possible and make an appointment to talk with the priest, deacon or staff person responsible for preparing couples for marriage. This must be done at least six months prior to the proposed date of the wedding. It is important that it be done before any of the arrangements for the wedding are made, e.g. renting a hall, hiring a disc jockey, etc. The priest, deacon or staff person will explain the process of marriage preparation and the various preparation programs that are available.
Why does the church require engaged couples to participate in a marriage preparation program? You can only love something that you know, and as your knowledge increases so can your love deepen. As part of its pastoral responsibility, the church requires every couple to participate in a marriage prep program in order that they will be properly ready to be married. Marriage preparation offers couples
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the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.
couples to understand both the practical and spiritual realities of married life. Typical topics include the meaning of marriage as a sacrament; faith, prayer and the church; roles in marriage; communication and conflict resolution; children, parenthood and natural family planning; finances; and family of origin.
Is there a cost for marriage preparation programs? Most programs charge a modest fee to cover the cost of materials. Programs that require an overnight stay include an additional cost for rooms and meals. Assistance is frequently available for couples who would otherwise be unable to participate.
What kinds of marriage preparation programs does our local church offer? In the Diocese of Pittsburgh there are several options, and every couple is required to attend one. The diocesan pre-marriage program, consisting of four evenings, is offered in the St. Paul Cathedral social hall four times per year. Engaged Encounter weekends are offered several times a year. Also, many parishes and clusters of parishes offer marriage preparation programs. Some parishes offer programs for groups of couples as well as a marriagementoring program with an experienced married couple. For further information about any of these programs, contact the Office for Marriage, Family and Life, 412-456-3157, or e-mail Ellen Mady, office director, at emady@diopitt.org. As part of their preparation many couples also complete a premarital inventory, such as FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study), to identify issues for discussion.
What key issues are covered in marriage preparation? Marriage preparation programs help
Does the church offer any programs to help couples improve their marriage? Yes. Peer ministry for married couples is widespread. Many couples participate in Marriage Encounter (www.wwme. org), which offers a weekend experience and ongoing community support. Many couples meet in parish-based small groups; ministries such as Teams of Our Lady and Christian Family Movement also use the small-group approach. Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Pittsburgh also offers marriage counseling with fees based on a sliding scale. For assistance couples, may call the director of counseling at 412-456-6951. Some parishes sponsor a retreat day or evening of reflection for married couples. Others offer a mentoring system that matches older couples with younger ones. Retrouvaille offers a lifeline for troubled marriages that has proven to be effective. For information about any of these programs, call the Office for Marriage, Family and Life at 412-456-3157 or e-mail emady@diopitt.org. For other helpful resources, consult the diocesan website, www.diopitt.org.
Wedding Guide 2016
Wedding & Anniversary Announcements
See more Wedding and Anniversary Announcements, Page 14, 15 and 19
Henry and Mary Doerfler celebrated 50 years of marriage Jan. 8, 2016. They were married at St. Therese of Lisieux Parish in Munhall. They have three daughters and eight grandchildren: Heather and Jim Guzih, Dan and Katie, Megan Doerfler and Nick Sarafes, Alexis Sarafes and Sean Goodman, Tracy and Joe Belleconish, Joce and J.J., Nick and Tabi Krevo.
Herman and Frieda Flaminio will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in August. Their vows were exchanged at St. Gertrude Parish in Vandergrift, Pa., Saturday, Aug. 20, 1966. A reception followed at the Holiday Inn, now known as the Clarion Hotel in New Kensington. The Flaminios have been blessed with four daughters and eight grandchildren. Herman retired from Bell Atlantic in 1990 and Tollgrade Communications in 2000. Frieda is the organist and children’s choir director at St. Mary of the Assumption Parish in Glenshaw.
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Wedding & Anniversary Announcements A Day to Remember . . .
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For information, call the Epiphany Office at 412-471-0257 x 105 McDowell Hall, 164 Washington Place, Pittsburgh, PA 15219 (Next to the Consol Energy Center)
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Anthony and Joanne Gannon celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary April 26, 2015, with a Mass at St. Thomas More Parish in Bethel Park. They were married May 1, 1965, at St. Josephat Church in Pittsburgh. The anniversary Mass was followed by a luncheon at South Hills Country Club with their children, Michael (Kimberly) Gannon and Kathleen (Michael) Martino and their grandchildren, Megan Gannon and Kailyn, Sarah and Bella Martino. Tony and Joanne are both retired and enjoy being with their family and traveling.
Jim and Donna Grab celebrated their 50th anniversary by renewing their wedding vows during Mass Saturday, Sept. 26, 2015, at St. Basil Church in Pittsburgh’s Carrick neighborhood. The celebrant was Father Stephen Kresak, pastor of the Catholic Community of South Pittsburgh. The couple’s six children — Bridgette Lawrence, Jennifer Milcarek, Christopher Grab, Rebecca
Holland, Alicia Beaman and Andrew Grab — hosted a party afterward for family and friends. They were married Oct. 23, 1965, at St. Joseph Church in Petersburg, Virginia.
Wedding Guide 2016
TIPS Continued from Page 2
Robert and Gloria Kuzma of Kennedy Township will mark 50 years of marriage April 30. They were married in 1966 at St. John Chrysostom Byzantine Catholic Church in Pittsburgh’s Greenfield neighborhood. Bob worked at J&L Steel, Consolidated Coal and the Diocese of Pittsburgh. He also owned the West Park Café. Gloria worked for Bell Atlantic/ Verizon and St. Malachy Parish. Bob and Gloria plan to celebrate this milestone with their two children: daughter Christine and husband George (their two children Michael and Danica), and son Douglas and wife Leslie (their daughter Alina)
Theresa Flaminio and Edward Romack Jr. were married Oct. 17, 2015, at St. Paul Cathedral in Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood. Theresa is a graduate of the Berkeley School of Music in Boston. Edward is a graduate of the Academy of Film and Television in Tampa, Fla. Theresa is the daughter of Herman and Frieda Flaminio of Wexford. Edward is the son of Stacey Jackson and Edward Romack Sr. of Charleston, South Carolina. Theresa and
• The little things matter in marriage. Smiles, hugs, words of encouragement, patient listening, moments of relaxation and other “small” things can go far in helping spouses fall in love with each other all over each day. In the end, each marriage is a unique journey to be mapped out by the spouses, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. These tips are not intended to be comprehensive, but can hopefully help you open your minds and hearts to the love of God and your spouse, and identify ways to keep the love and commitment you professed on your wedding day alive and well.
Edward make their home in Los Angeles.
See more Wedding and Anniversary Announcements, Page 19
Mady is director of the diocesan Office for Marriage, Family and Life.
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REMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMO Jim and Barbara Kraynick of Penn Hills will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary Dec. 31, 2016. They were married at St. Raphael Parish in Pittsburgh’s Morningside neighborhood by Msgr. Joseph Findlan, uncle of the bride. They have four children: Kathi Bergamasco, Jim Kraynick, Carolyn Forsythe and John Kraynick. God has blessed them with five grandchildren: Miranda, Summer, Marky, Krystal and Luke. An anniversary Mass is set to be celebrated at 4:30 p.m. at St. Bartholomew Parish in Penn Hills. A dinner reception will follow, hosted by their children. Barbara is a retired St. Francis nurse and Jim is a retired Pittsburgh Public Schools math teacher.
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CNS photo/L’Osservatore Romano, handout Pope Francis greets members of the Roman Rota during a meeting inaugurating the judicial year at the Vatican Jan. 22.
Don’t confuse marriage with other kinds of unions, pope says By CAROL GLATZ CATHOLIC NEWS SERVICE VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis said there can be no confusion between God’s plan for marriage as an indissoluble bond between one man and woman who are open to life, and other sorts of unions. “The church, in fact, can demonstrate God’s unwavering merciful love toward families, especially those wounded by sin and life’s trials, and at the same time proclaim the essential truth of marriage according to God’s plan,” the pope said Jan. 22, in a meeting with members of the Roman Rota. The pope holds the annual meeting to inaugurate the Vatican court’s judicial year. Pope Francis said the court, which hears requests for marriage annulments, helps support families and the truth about the sacred bond of marriage. In evaluating and judging marriage cases and contributing to formation, the Roman Rota helps promote and proclaim the truth, he said. When the church, through the court’s service, seeks to declare the truth about marriage in each specific case, it always bears in mind that those “who, through free choice or unfortunate circumstances in life, live in
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an objective state of error continue to be the object of the merciful love of Christ and, therefore, of the church, too.” The two gatherings of the Synod of Bishops focused on the family were occasions of “indepth, knowledgeable discernment,” and they gave the church a chance to tell “the world that there can be no confusion between the family desired by God and any other kind of union,” the pope said. “The family, based on indissoluble, unitive and procreative marriage, is part of God’s ‘dream’ and the church’s for the salvation of humanity,” he said. The church will always offer the truth about marriage, he said, “not as an ideal for the few, despite modern examples based on what is fleeting and transitory, but as a reality that, with Christ’s grace, can be lived by all the baptized faithful.” That means there is great pastoral urgency for adequate marriage preparation, for example, he said, with a kind of marriage “catechumenate” that was suggested during the synods on the family. A catechumenate would entail a longer process of formation before marriage, as well as during the years right after the wedding. While the family is considered to be a “domestic church,” he said, the church is
the family of God. Therefore, the church must be filled with a loving, “family spirit,” where people are “no longer strangers and sojourners,” but members of God’s family, he said. The church — as both mother and teacher — knows that not every one of her children is perfect, he said. “The church knows that some Christians have a faith that’s strong, formed from love, strengthened by good catechesis and nourished by prayer and a sacramental life,” the pope said, “while others have a faith that’s weak, neglected, unformed, poorly taught or forgotten.” The pope reiterated church teaching that the level of a person’s faith “is not an essential condition of matrimonial consent” and, in fact, he said, it is not unusual for engaged couples to go into a marriage with a limited understanding of the fullness of God’s plan. “The lack of formation in the faith and even error concerning the unity, indissolubility and the sacramental dignity of marriage invalidate matrimonial consent only when they determine” or condition a person’s will, he said. Precisely for this reason, “errors which concern the sacramentality of marriage must be evaluated very carefully,” he said.
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What makes marriage work? What is the one indispensable ingredient for making marriages work?
Family life educators usually answer: communication. This is good news because effective communication can be learned. Skills such as active listening, using “I” statements, paying attention to my feelings and those of my spouse, and learning tips for “fighting fair” make marriage easier. Some couples use these skills intuitively because they saw them modeled in their own upbringing. Others can learn them through classes, workshops and reading. Of course, the hardest part of communicating usually comes when there is disagreement between the two of you.
Commitment and common values
Some ingredients, if missing, can doom a relationship from the start. Two primary ones are commitment and common values. Commitment bonds a couple together when you are tired, annoyed or angry with each other. Sometimes, remembering your vows can prompt you to push past these problems and try to forgive and start again. Common values are important. If you aren’t together on basic values such as children, honesty, fidelity and putting family before work, no amount of learning or effort of the will can resolve the conflict. For example, constant tension will result if one spouse wants to live simply while the other wants life’s luxuries.
Spirituality/faith
You might not consider yourself a spiritual person; however, anyone who seeks the deeper meaning of life, and not a life focused on personal pleasure, operates out of a spiritual sense. For many this desire is expressed in commitment to a specific faith tradition. Here one joins with others to worship God and work for the common good. Although being a person of faith is not essential to making your marriage work, it’s a bonus. Certainly good people throughout the ages have had happy marriages and not all of them have been religious. But it helps to have faith principles to guide you and a faith community to encourage your commitment.
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A marriage bonded by love and faith By MARC AND KIKI BARNES He is laid back, she is outgoing. He likes to relax at home, she likes to go out and have fun. He’s pretty quiet, she’s a conversationalist. He has two left feet, she can cut a rug. He is short, she is tall. You would think with all of these differences they would make quite an odd couple. But they have one thing in common that makes them a match made in heaven. That commonality is an abiding love of God. How do we know? Well, this couple is us. When we met in April 2005, we had no idea how our lives were about to change. We fell in love quickly and decided to get engaged. Then in July, Marc’s father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. And in August, the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina struck. While we were trying to get to know each other, we were also dealing with some very difficult pressures. We managed by reading the Bible together … every day. We asked God for guidance because we did not know what path we were being led to take. One thing became clear to both of us. God put us together and we just had to figure out the rest. Our faith is the glue that keeps everything together. We never make a big decision without praying about it and, when there are challenges, we deal with them straight on. But it hasn’t always been easy. There have been times when things could have gone the other way, both before we were married and after. When those times came, we discussed the issues, we looked for Bible verses that addressed what we were going through and we prayed. We were always able to figure it out. Now that we know each other well, those more difficult times don’t happen as often, but when they do, we turn to God. We are very different people with different interests and sometimes even different expectations. We deal with those differences by communicating them. Marc is usually the one who forces the conversations. Kiki always (although sometimes reluctantly) opens up. We don’t yell. We just discuss. And we are honest about what we are feeling. We
respect our differences. Sometimes we playfully tease each other about them. We never discuss a winner or loser in a disagreement, and when it’s over, it’s over. We find the compromise and move forward. We consider each other God’s gift to us. If you are considering marriage, consider if you are willing to compromise for your future spouse. Sometimes that means conceding. Are you willing to do that? Be completely honest, even when it’s hard. Is your fiancé God’s gift to you? And when you are married and difficulties occur, first turn to God. Then put in the hard work of communication, counseling and compromise. This, along with the strength of your faith and your love for each other, will get you through. We are a living testament. Marc is vice president for institutional advancement at Dillard University. He enjoys running and weight-lifting during his spare time. Kiki is athletic director at Dillard University. In her leisure, she enjoys learning how to play the electric bass guitar. Marc and Kiki Barnes have a daughter and son. They celebrated their 10 th wedding anniversary in November 2015.
Wedding Guide 2016
Wedding & Anniversary Announcements
Through the grace of God, Arthur and Barbara Messina will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary May 21, 2016, along with their family and friends at a Mass at St. Louise de Marillac Parish in Upper St. Clair. They have been blessed with seven children — Maryanne, Joseph, Michael, Timothy, Amanda, Jennifer and Anthony — and eight grandchildren — Samantha, Nathan, Ryan, Matthew, Ashley, Emily, Lilly and Axel. Arthur is a retired environmental engineer, and Barbara is a retired registered nurse with the state of Pennsylvania. The Messinas are looking forward to another 50 years of wedded bliss
REMARRY Continued from Page 2
In 1958, Stephanie Kosko graduated from the Robert Morris Air Line Training School and moved to New York City as an employee of Capital Air Lines. She traveled the world, but when a family emergency brought her back to Pittsburgh she was destined to meet the love of her life. A United Airlines employee, Pat, was having a welcome home party for her brother, Jim Paul, who just returned from his tour of duty in Korea/Vietnam and would finish his stint in Corpus Christi, Texas. It was love at first sight that drew them together, and after a whirlwind courtship their wedding took place in 1965. Jake (Jim) found employment at Westinghouse Air Brake Corp., and they started their family that became the legacy of life and love. They have three grandchildren from their son, Jim (Audry): Stephanie, 23, Samantha, 17, and James, 9. Stephanie and Jake are enjoying retirement to the fullest. Car cruises with two show cars (1947 Ford and 1983 Chevy S10) keeps them and son Jim quite busy, as does community affairs, family and friends. The close ties with their parish, Holy Angels in Pittsburgh’s Hays neighborhood, have supported them through trying times. Their faith in and love of God, instilled by their parents as children, have served them well. Today, a full life well lived is their profession of life. They pray they celebrate another 25-plus years.
Wedding Guide 2016
Mr. and Mrs. David Smereczniak of Clarksville will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary April 16, 2016. They were married at St. Anne Parish in Castle Shannon by Father E.W. Harkins. Mrs. Smereczniak is the former Jerilyn Cirillo of Belle Vernon, daughter of Joseph and Rosemary Cirillo. After graduating from Washington Hospital School of Nursing in 1965, Jeri worked as a nurse in various capacities, including at several hospitals, as a school nurse, nursing supervisor in a long-term care facility, and in 1999 she retired from teaching in the vo-tech school in Waynesburg. After graduating from California University in 1964, David, son of Afton and Betty Smereczniak of Belle Vernon, entered the Navy. He became a pilot and retired after 20 years, achieving the rank of lieutenant commander. David, Jeri and their children traveled to many duty stations around the world during his 20 years of service, including Japan, Italy and Cuba. After his retirement from the Navy in 1984, he taught high school science until his retirement from Jefferson Morgan High School in 2000. He now owns and operates his own computer repair business. They have three children: Karyn Thompson of King George, Virginia, Scott of Malawi, Africa, and Jeff of Canonsburg. They thoroughly enjoy their seven grandchildren, ranging in age from 13 to 22. A reception for family and friends is planned at Nemacolin Country Club to celebrate the occasion.
relationships is essential. It takes time for a stepchild to love a new stepparent, just as it does for the stepparent to love a new stepchild. Sam and Sally should try to do things individually with each child, when the opportunity arises. This can happen when they drop a child off at band practice or go to the hardware or grocery store. A little time alone with each child goes a long way in cementing relationships. Also, each parent should accept that the missing parent (the mother of Sam’s children and Sally’s deceased husband) are very important to the children. Let them grieve their losses and support them, even though some time has elapsed after the death/divorce. The Rainbows program can be of great assistance to their children. Trust that God is in the messiness of family life. Sally and Sam need to keep acknowledging to each other and themselves that God is present in the ordinariness of daily life. There is a real gift — grace — given to us in our sacramental marriage. Deacon Urbine, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is a permanent deacon and director of the Office of Family Life Ministries for the Diocese of Allentown, Pa. He is past president of the National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers. This article is from the Catholic website foryourmarriage.org.
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Parish Hall Rentals Available throughout the Diocese of Pittsburgh Below is a listing of Parish Social Halls throughout the Diocese of Pittsburgh that are available for rental. All halls are handicap accessible ALLEGHENY COUNTY St. Albert the Great, Baldwin 3198 Schieck St., Pittsburgh, PA 15227 Capacity: 300 - Catering provided Phone: 412-884-7744 E-mail: saintalbert@comcast.net St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, Carnegie St. Luke Hall 330 Third Ave., Carnegie, PA 15106 Capacity: 220 - Catering not provided Phone: 412-276-1011, ext. 216 E-mail: business@seascarnegie.org Epiphany, Uptown McDowell Hall 164 Washington Place, Pittsburgh, PA 15219 (next to Consol Energy Center) Capacity: 300 - Catering not provided Phone: 412-931-4241 Website: www.epiphanychurch.net (See ad on Page 14)
Phone: 412-821-4424 E-mail: businessmanager@ holyspiritmillvale.org St. Joan of Arc, South Park Gathering Place at Domremy Pavilion, 6740 Library Road, South Park, PA 15129 Capacity: 250 - Catering provided Phone: 412-854-3173 E-mail: PavilionManager@comcast. net Website: www.mystjoan.org St. Louise de Marillac, Upper St. Clair LeGras Parish Hall, 320 McMurray Road, Upper St. Clair, PA 15241 Capacity: 300 - Catering not provided Phone: 412-833-1010 E-mail: stl@stlouisedemarillac.org Website: www.stlouisedemarillac.org
St. Thomas More, Bethel Park “Family Life Center” 126 Fort Couch Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15241 Capacity: 64-568 - Catering provided Phone: 412-283-0238 E-mail: Events@STMPGH.org Website: www.STMPGH.org BEAVER COUNTY St. Felix, Freedom 450 13th St., Freedom, PA 15042 Capacity: 300 - Catering is not provided Phone: 724-774-7698 St. Frances Cabrini, Center Township 115 Trinity Drive, Aliquippa (Center Township), PA 15001 Capacity: 400 - Catering provided Phone: 724-775-6363 E-mail: sfcabrini@comcast.net Website: www.sfcabrini.us.
Parish Hall Rentals available throughout the Diocese of Pittsburgh
Holy Family, Creighton 787 Freeport Road, Creighton, PA 15030 Capacity: 100 - Catering not provided Phone: 724-224-0770 E-mail: holyfamilyparishpa@gmail. com Website: www.holyfamilypa.com Holy Martyrs, Tarentum 353 W. Ninth Ave., Tarentum, PA 15084 Capacity: 120 - Catering not provided Phone: 724-224-0770 E-mail: holymartyrsparish@comcast. net Holy Spirit, Millvale Lyceum, 608 Farragut St., Millvale, PA 15209 Capacity: 250 - Catering not provided Phone: 412-821-4424 E-mail: businessmanager@ holyspiritmillvale.org Holy Spirit, Millvale School cafeteria, 608 Farragut St., Millvale, PA 15209 Capacity: 100 - Catering not provided
20 Pittsburgh Catholic
St. Mark, Liberty Borough 3210 Liberty Way, McKeesport (Liberty Borough), PA 15133 Capacity: 200 - Catering not provided Phone: 412-678-6275 E-mail: stmarkparish1101@comcast. net Website: www.saintmarkdiopitt.org St. Mark, Port Vue 1125 Romine Ave., McKeesport (Port Vue), PA 15133 Capacity: 150 - Catering not provided Phone: 412-678-6275 E-mail: stmarkparish1101@comcast. net Website: www.saintmarkdiopitt.org
St. Maximilian Kolbe, Homestead/ Munhall 363 W. 11th Ave. Extension, Homestead Capacity: 300 - Catering is provided Phone: 412-461-1054 E-mail: stmaximiliankolbe@comcast. net St. Pamphilus, Beechview 1000 Tropical Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15216 Capacity: 200 - Catering provided Phone: 412-341-1000 E-mail: stpamphilus@aol.com Website: www.stpamphilus.com
BUTLER COUNTY
St. Matthias, Evans City Ritzert Hall, 417 E. Main St., Evans City, PA 16033 Capacity: 180 - Catering not provided Phone: 724-538-5174 E-mail: mkline@stmatthias-ec.org Website: www.stmatthias-ec.org/ ritzert-hall
St. Michael the Archangel, Butler Parish hall, 432 Center Ave., Butler, PA 16001 Capacity: 400 - Catering not provided 724-282-4107, ext. 4 E-mail: lrottman@zoominternet.net Website: www.butlercitycatholicparishes. org LAWRENCE COUNTY Mary, Mother of Hope, New Castle Parish Center, 124 N. Beaver St. New Castle, PA 16101 Capacity: 400 - Catering not provided Phone: 724-658-2564, ext. 10 E-mail: 2psecmmoh@comcast.net Website: www.marymotherofhope. com
All halls are handicap accesssible Wedding Guide 2016