MY CIVIL WAR COLORING BOOK FOR ADULTS by ORI ALON
“The book that will end all wars” nudwhndwwwdjgg
Actual tweet info -
MY CIVIL WAR Coloring Book for Adults by Ori Alon
Alfassi Books Beacon NY 2019 www.alfassibooks.com Property of Humanity IN MEMORY OF FUTURE VICTIMS
4
5
Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Heart Parts Dept.
60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org
Sony Corporation of America 25 Madison Avenue, New York, NY, 10016. Oct. 24th, 2018 Re: a little plastic part Dear Sony, A few months ago, maybe a year actually, my wife got a pair of headphones at the airport (I think they’re Sony I’m not sure). They had this little battery inside that enhance the bass, but recently the plastic cap fell and perhaps I was high or sad about the state of the world and threw it out. Or maybe it’s still here somewhere, I’m not sure. Anyhow, I have an offer you can’t refuse - if you help me get a new piece (in black please) I’ll send a memo to the ECN and we’ll issue you an LLE (Loving & Liable Entity certification), an official proof that your organization is increasing love consumption and production in the world (perhaps it can help your business). Deal? Please LMK what you think, I’m happy to answer any questions. Ori B. Alon Executive Empowering Clerk, CSB
PS as a child I had a Sony audio tape recorder I loved dearly. I used to listen to it, sing and occasionally record myself in front of the window and imagine. Thank you for making it, your device had a huge impact on my life.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy - Empowering Clerks Network Forgiver’s License (Class A&B) • Joy Permits • Refurbished Report Cards • Certificates of Recognition • Adults Special Achievement Stickers • Pain Deeds • Certified Apology Declarations • Karma Inspection • Clown Visa • Racism Release Form • Refurbished Report Cards • Rejection Letter Generator Poetic License • Lover’s Survey • Prophecy License www.supportivebureaucracy.org
8
9
Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network ECN-CSB Clerkical Committee
60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org
A11-345-95J Justice Brett M. Kavanagh The Supreme Court of the United States, One First Street N.E., Washington, D.C., 20543 Re: notification of disqualification to serve as an Empowering Clerk Dear Justice Kavanagh, This letter is to let you know that the Clerkical Committee of the Center for Supportive Bureaucracy found you ineligible to serve as an Empowering Clerk. Whether a regional ECN branch or a traveling bureaucrat, serving as an Empowering Clerk is a high form of civic duty, and unfortunately your tenancies for violent behaviour, alcohol addiction and worse of all passive aggressiveness behavior both as a teenager and as adult showed the committee that you are not eligible for such honor . We wish you well with whatever career path you may choose, and if you ever wish to work on your issues and file an appeal we promise to consider it with an open heart. If you choose to become an undocumented EC and issue documents illegally you may download all forms, certificates, declarations and other Playful Paperwork documents at our website. With the joy of giving service, Ori L. Alon Executive Empowering Clerk, Center for Supportive Bureaucracy 10
‘HONORABLE’
12
Feels like a betrayal to my own sex and to humanity to wear this hat.
94 comments
15
16
17
18
19
CEN
D E R SO
21
22
23
24
25
27
28
29
30
32
33
34
35
(273 comments from two similar posts)
36
37
“I think your posts are deliberately thought provoking and often brilliant. But perhaps not for the anal retentive.� via private message
39
42
Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Existential Foreign Affairs
60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org
Mayor Eliseo Fernandez Montufar Calle 8 s / n Municipal Palace San Francisco de Campeche Mexico 20543 Dear Mayor Montufar, Thank you so much for your hospitality as I was invited to be the Artist in Residence of Ninth Wave Mexico. I had a great stay and the Empowering Clerks Network translated Playful Paperwork documents to Spanish, established three official ECN Branches and about ten illegal ones. I'm just a gringo but I'm certain the Mexican people are ready for more paperwork. Attached are a hundred of Permisio de Alegria which you are welcome to issue to your constituents. I’d like to share with you an existential revelation I had in Campeche. As I was wandering through the aisles of your local Wal-Mart I listened to The Wall by Pink Floyd in its entirety. That album rocked my world as a teenager but now I rarely listen to it. By the frozen meat I suddenly realized that the fourteen years old who listened to that music is the same person as the 36 years old person who listen to that album now, but also different, after all over twenty years have passed. I was thrilled by that revelation. I would love to invite you to have your own existential experience in the United States at our local Wal-Mart (technically it's outside of Beacon city lines but I can give you a ride). You're welcome to listen to the same music you listened to as a teenager and reach the same complex existential state I’ve reached at your Wal-Mart. Once you're done we can share our experience online, I think it has a good chance to go viral since it's so thought provoking. What do you think? Looking forward to your response, Ori Alon Mayoral Candida, Beacon NY
43
45
47
48
49
51
In my wildest dreams I never imagined that headphones can reflect existential questions in such beautiful, playful and honest way. But like most of us who woke up last November to a surprising reality, I too admit that I was absolutely wrong about this. Alas, it took the kids exactly 37 seconds to break it :( and now the permanent duct tape is a forever Cain Mark that reflects on all of us, on our country and on my own attachment to objects. Damn I just started to get attached to it... Not fair! Apologize!
52
The Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network (LLE) Special Affairs Committee Mr. Donald J. Trump President of the United States of America 1600 Pennsylvania Av. NW Washington D.C., 20500 January 30th, 2019 Dear Mr President, Let me get straight to business. I'd like to present to you an idea that I think you'd like a lot. I am an artist from Beacon NY, I create works that engage people in ways that are both fun, funny and compassionate, for example the Center for Supportive Bureaucracy which provides people all over the world with comic relief, self esteem boost and mindfulness using satirical paperwork. Am I a charlatan? Perhaps, but aren't we all? Although some people would appreciate it if I speak less, I identify as a Centrist who occasionally listens to Guns and Roses, enjoys a good milkshake and is not outraged by typos. I think laughter can save us from a another Civil War. I think it's time for comedians to reach across the isle and make the other side laugh. Have you seen Nanette? It's on Netflix, I think it's right down your alley, check it out! I suggest we start a national bipartisan March for our Laughs in Washington DC this spring. I'm running for Mayor in my hometown of Beacon NY now and if I'm elected I'd support using some of our budget to fund such important event without the fiscally Conservative folks getting upset. What do you think? With love, Ori Alon Director, Empowering Clerks Network (ECN) 54
57
58
59
60
61
THE EMPOWERING CLERKS NETWORK CENTER FOR SUPPORTIVE BUREAUCRACY DEPARTMENT OF CREATIVITY & WELL BEING
LICENSE TO PRACTICE POETRY LICENSE NUMBER----4980172A-L
This certifies that on this day _____________, in _____________________ the Poet ________________________ who’s been writing poems since _____________ has been licensed to use his/her/___________ poetic approach to words in order to empower, embrace, enlighten and enrich humanity.
LICENSE HOLDER VOWS: ______________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
Walt Whitman ECN Poetic Branch
VOID WITHOUT COMPASSION TO OTHERS
VOID WITHOUT EXPRESSING VULNERABILITY
CERTIFICATION OF VITAL RECORD
POET SIGNATURE
NOT VALID AS A POETIC LICENSE
VOID WITHOUT OFFICIAL HEART’S SEAL
62
ART IS WORK If you enjoyed this book please consider making a PayPal donation to oribeacon@gmail.com to support my work or Pay it Forward with time / money / talent to another cause you believe in. Thank you! Ori
Download PDF ebooks and learn more at www.JoyPermit.org
63
ORI FOR MAYOR
● PACIFIST ● IMMIGRANT ● VEGETARIAN ● EGOCENTRIC ● CLUMSY ● FUNNY(ISH) FREE ICE CREAM IF ELECTED* AS APPEARED IN
BUT NOT ONLY THERE IT WAS ALSO AT
Coloring Book for Adults by Ori Alon READ FOR FREE AT www.JoyPermit.org
Empowering Clerks Network Director & Founder Ori Alon is an artist, cartoonist, writer, Playful Paperwork distributor and a Certified Village Fool alumni at the Center for @Supportive_Bureaucracy THE MORE PAPERWORK THE BETTER