Brave New World Mayoral Candida Journal by Ori Alon by Ori Alon

BRAVE NEW WORLD MAYORAL CANDIDA JOURNAL by ORI ALON

THE NEVER ENDING FUN CAMP Summer Youth Camp Counselor Private Prisons of America (PPA, LLT)

● Help provide an experience children will never forget ● Flexible background checks ● Camp may extend to two years ● No Spanish required ● CPR training optional ● Sleep away camp ● Sex offender friendly ● Minimum wage Counselors are required to facilitate groups of children in cages, distribute blankets and frozen food. Preference will be given to applicants with limited communication skills. To apply send a copy of this flyer with your name & contact info to: CoreCivic Family Detention Centers 10 Burton Hills Blvd. Nashville, TN 37215 800-624-2931 PublicAffairs@CoreCivic.com 2

Paid for by Ori for Mayor LLE-WNCPQ783 Non Qualified

BRAVE NEW WORLD

NOT REGISTERED TO VOTE (DISREGARD)

DRAFT COPY

Mayoral Candidate Journal by Ori Alon

Alfassi Books Beacon NY 2018 www.alfassibooks.com Property of Humanity

IN HONOR OF ASYLUM SEEKERS

As we learned about the systematic abuse of immigrant families thousands of Grannies from all over the country rode week long caravans to the southern border and rallied in many different cities to demand an end to the US family separation practice. I volunteered to drive one of the cars, help with logistics and issue Playful Paperwork documents along the way.

Empowering Clerks Network & Sex Offenders, Newsletter April 2018. Join mailing list at www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Dear friend, Last year I came back home after a long weekend to find an envelope from a NC Correctional Institution in my mailbox. It was from Mr Marcus D. Hunter, a life without parole inmate who murdered taxi driver Abdoelhafiz Hassan Hamed Dowlieb in 2004. Marcus, who had an extremely hard life attached his application for ECN Forgiver's License (pg 14) and asked to become an Empowering Clerk and issue Playful Paperwork documents to his friends. We became pen pals and I helped Mr Hunter develop and have a small income from his portrait drawing (you can send him your photos and he'll mail you back a portrait for a donation). Marcus have shared with me his traumatic life story, the abusive conditions in which he and millions of others are kept behind bars and I have shared with him about my life. I find Marcus to be a sharp, talented and self aware writer and I hope he'll reach many readers in the future. I've sent him a lot of paperwork which he's been issuing to his fellow inmates with great efficiency. Considering my own family story, this new friendship is extremely bizarre, and I'm excited to see where it'll lead. A few weeks ago I got another letter from another inmate in the same prison who requested to learn more about the Empowering Clerks Network (ECN). When I looked his information up I found that he is serving a 206 years sentence for 'crimes against nature' which included raping a 13 year old. It seems like it was a lot of effort for him to write the few sentences in his letter. I feel a disgust thinking about it and I didn't want to take a photo of it and share it online, as if his actions or the unmet needs behind them don't deserve the light of day. In contrast, when I first found an original Hitler stamp I was somewhat excited to lick it in order to create various comics with him and Stalin - it's much easier for me to find compassion in my heart towards a murderer or even a mass murderer than towards a pedophile sex offender. Placing Hitler on Freud's couch was somewhat natural and easy for me to do, but thinking about helping Joseph deal with his childhood and the feelings he must have seems unreasonable and maybe even impossible. Joseph didn't ask for any specific document yet but just wanted a general information about the ECN. I've sent him a copy of Regulations are Flexible, but what should I do if he decides to apply for a Forgiver's License, Compassion Card, Apology Declaration or other documents? Shall the ECN deny services from sex offenders, or revoke documents of recipients who were found guilty of such crimes? What do you think? Please reply to this email with your thoughts and I will keep you updated about this bureaucratic process!

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Like cigarettes and cancer movies, ads and books that include content that is abusive to women often lead boys to and girls to learn unhealthy behaviours and later on it enable men to abuse their power and treat women in violent or disrespectful ways. I think it's reasonable to use that analogy and pass similar laws regarding warning notes as offered in the images above (with a more skilled graphic designer of course).

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network ECN-CSB Board of Elections

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

U.S. Department of Justice 950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20530-0001 Dear Attorney General Sessions, It is with great pleasure that I announce to you that I will be running for Mayor of Beacon NY next November. I am sure you will find great pleasure in learning about my numerous campaign promises - free ice cream for elders on Mondays, 17% tax deduction for men who express vulnerability, free (Refurbished) Samsung Galaxy for residents of Washington Ave and North Elm streets, legalizing marijuana, renewing the Iran Deal and a sincere promise to only say positive things about my opponents. There is one campaign promise though that I struggle with, and I'd love to have your advice on how to solve my conflict while keeping my integrity as an emerging politician. I promised to lower the voting age to six, as children are much more compassionate and rational than most adults. However, I don't want this to be just a secular law. I want it to be based on the Holy Bible. Unfortunately, I'm mostly familiar with the Old Testament, and that knowledge too is very limited as my Bible teacher in middle school had a skin condition that made it hard to focus on the class, I'm sure you understand. So if you can think of anything from this great book, a quote, an acronym or any hidden message that can legitimize my new legislation I'd be extremely thankful! Please call me or fax at your convenience. Yours truly, Ori Alon Mayoral Candida City of Beacon NY (e-fax code Efj*73_L6) 29

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Foreign Affairs

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 1-917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

August 25th, 2018 H.E. Mohammad Javad Zarif The Honorable Foreign Minister of the Islamic Republic of Iran Imam Khomeini Avenue, Tehran, Iran P.O.Box 1136914811 ‫ اﻟﺳَ ﻼ ُم ﻋَ ﻠَﯾﻛُم‬Peace upon you Mr. Zarif, It is with great pleasure that I let you know that I officially adopt you as an uncle (according to ECN Regulations.) The Empowering Clerks Network recently sent an official memo encouraging people who live in countries that are in conflict to take the extra step and add their enemies to their family circle in honor of the victims of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima. Although I grew up in Israel my grandparents immigrated there in 1951 from Baghdad, Iraq, which not only makes us neighbors but perhaps even blood family - would you be interested in taking a DNA test to see if we have any common ancestors? I was very disappointed with the cancelation of the Iran Deal. I want to reassure you that if I'm elected Mayor of Beacon (a small town about 90 kilometers north of Manhattan) on my first day in office I'd sign an executive order to renew the deal. I hate to sound like a Yiddishe Mama though, but just be careful with that stuff, it's very dangerous! Even if you decide to use it it’s better to be cautious so nobody gets hurt, ok? I can ask on Facebook maybe I can find some like minded Israelis so you can work on nuclear safety together? What do you think? Last but not least, I'd like to offer the Iranian Government assistance with adding more paperwork to your people. When I started the Center for Supportive Bureaucracy I didn't imagine it was going to be an international movement. But after 250,000

documents issued and over 200 Empowering Clerks actively issuing Playful Paperwork documents around the world (documented and undocumented). No matter what is your religion or culture, we all need more paperwork. I’d love to translate Joy Permits, Forgiver’s Licenses, Apology Declaration, Village Fool Diplomas, Love Reciepts, Racism Release Forms, Adults Special Achievement Stickers, Refurbished Report Cards and other official documents that can be used by your people. ‫ ﺧﺎﻧواده ﺷﻣﺎﺳت ﮐﮫ از ﺷﻣﺎ ﺣﻣﺎﯾت ﻣﯽﮐﻧد‬،‫ھﻧﮕﺎﻣﯽ ﮐﮫ ﻣﺷﮑﻠﯽ ﭘﯾش ﻣﯽآﯾد‬. (When trouble comes, it's your family that supports you) and since we’re all one big family I can also mail you an official ECN embosser in Farsi so you can have the documents certified and not worry about their legitimacy. Attached is your ECSK2.0 (Empowering Clerk Starter Kit) with 50 6 months Joy Permit in Farsi (renew online or use white-out). Yours truly, Ori Alon Director, Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Mayoral Candidate, City of Beacon, New York

Ps our new relationship does not oblige us with any financial responsibilities to one another. Please review and sign the attached Chosen Family Affidavit (MAA-XLZJ-40077S) The sons of Adam are limbs of each other,

‫ﺑﻧﯽ آدم اﻋﺿﺎی ﯾﮏ ﭘﯾﮑرﻧد‬ Having been created of one essence. ‫ﮐﮫ در آﻓرﯾﻧش ز ﯾﮏ ﮔوھرﻧد‬ When the calamity of time affects one limb ‫ﭼو ﻋﺿوى ﺑﮫ درد آورد روزﮔﺎر‬ The other limbs cannot remain at rest. ‫دﮔر ﻋﺿو ھﺎ را ﻧﻣﺎﻧد ﻗرار‬ If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others, ‫ﺗو ﮐز ﻣﺣﻧت دﯾﮕران ﺑﯽ ﻏﻣﯽ‬ ‫ﻧﺷﺎﯾد ﮐﮫ ﻧﺎﻣت ﻧﮭﻧد آدﻣﯽ‬ You are unworthy to be called by the name of a Human. Sa'adi (1210-1292) 31

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Church and State

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

The Office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama Thekchen Choeling, P.O. McLeod Ganj Dharamsala, Himachal Pradesh (H.P.) 176219 India Dear Mr. Lama, Your smile is beautiful. Thank you for inspiring all of us to be better human beings. I wish all world leaders would follow your lead and highlight compassion in their governing actions. My father in law sends his regards. I'm excited to share with you that I presented my candida to Mayor of Beacon New York, a small town about thirty hours west of Vancouver. If elected, I’d make Buddhism the official religion of our City, add ‘In Buddha We Trust’ in all City buildings and official communication and nonviolently convert all churches, mosques and synagogues into Buddhist temples where believers can worship you without fear of being persecuted. I need your help Mr. Lama, your official blessing and public endorsement can help me win these elections. Attached is your Forgiver's License Class A, which allows you to forgive yourself and others. If you wish to validate your license please submit your Form 601(c) the Compassion Exam and sign the box ‘I agree to support other human beings’. If you wish to open an Empowering Clerks Network (ECN) branch in Dharamsala please contact the Center for Supportive Bureaucracy (CSB) directly. With the joy of giving service, Ori Alon Mayoral Candidate, Beacon New York

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Racist Assholes (DRA)

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

May 18th, 2018 Mr. Aaron Schlossberg*, ESQ., PLLC 275 Madison Avenue 14th Floor New York, NY 10016 Dear Mr Schlossberg, We understand that you must be hurting right now and it's hard to imagine what it's like to be in your shoes. Such media attention must make you feel bad, and we hope you have a true friend you can share your feelings with (consider awarding them with a True Friend Diploma, BFF). As a courtesy of our Commissioner of Compassion, we'd love to offer you empathy services. If you'd wish to apply for a Forgiver's License, please file the attached Form 601(c), the Compassion Exam and submit your application to the ECN (Attn: Processing Department) with a photo you'd like to use on your license. If you wish to apply for a Class B license (forgive others only) please note that occasionally applicants may receive a free upgrade to Class A license (forgive oneself and others). Please remember to contact our customer service department with any questions you may have. A famous Rabbi once said that questions are 1348.7% more likely to make the world a better place than concrete answers. As dedicated allies to white men according to the NY Diversity Authority White Men Registry of 2018 (#BeTheChange), it's a true honor for us to offer you our services, which helped tens of thousands of recipients around the world to increase their self esteem, happiness and Love Efficiency Rates (LER). Research have shown that helping white men improve their self esteem is one of the most effective ways to make our country more resilient.

white men are significantly more vulnerable to become victims of oppressing others than their peers. Therefore the ECN, in full collaboration with the CSB has initiated the Emotional Reflection and Advancement of White Men Act (ERAWMA, 52248-E) which encourages people of color, women and the LGBT community to support white men like yourself in expressing vulnerability and deal with their emotions in a constructive way. It is people like you who inspire millions of people across this great country to reflect on their true self and act more like mensches. It is people like you who make America even greater as you offer us an opportunity to become better, you are a pawn in the hands of Progress. The ECN would like to thank you for this great service and offer you in return some of our rich catalog free of charge. The Empowering Clerks Network, LLCE is currently the most efficient organization in the northern hemisphere offering Playful Paperwork services. We are proud to offer a variety of official documents including the Forgiverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s License, Joy Permit, Pain Deed, Compassion Card, Adults Special Achievement Stickers, Refurbished Report Card, DIY Certificate of Recognition and Certified Apology Declaration, among others.

We wish you a joyful spring, Ori Alon, Executive Empowering Clerk, CSB

*On May 2018 lawyer Aaron Schlossbergâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s racist rant against Hispanic workers in a NYC deli went viral, resulting in one of most dramatic grassroots online & offline shaming campaigns in recent history against Schlossberg. 35

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Public Art

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Mayor Randy Casale 1 Municipal Plaze Beacon NY 12508 Dear Mayor Casale, First, I'd like to thank you for the service you're doing to our city. Your love and dedication for Beacon are very much present in the way you run the city and it's inspiring to witness. You're awesome! As you sure know, our country is extremely divided, perhaps in a more dire way than it was during the Civil War. Liberals hate Conservatives and vice versa, most political conversations end painfully before reaching a real dialog, let alone any agreement. Our common fire is long forgotten, and we must do something in order not to be bystanders when history repeats itself. I thought of an idea you might like, an initiative that I'm sure will lead to a better communication between people of all sides. I think the City should hire a certified graffiti artist as private contractor to draw a simple black mustache with a sharpie on the official portrait of President Trump in City Hall. We can then publicize the act and get lots of media attention (we don't have to announce that we're behind it). This way the Liberals can feel as if they're actually doing something meaningful and Conservatives can dismiss Liberal behaviour as childish and immature. Bottom line is that both sides will be happy, and it won't even cost taxpayers too much! I already contacted my Instagram friend LXZU77 (he is a follower of Banksy) and he said he'll be able to do it for only $500, not including materials, shipping and handling cost of course. 36

Honestly I would do it myself but I don't think my artistic skills are right for this job. Like Marcel Duchamp's mustache on the Mona Lisa this defaced portrait will have great artistic value, which we'd be able to use in order to fund possible future projects like a public sauna in the winter. I'd love to know what you think! With blessings, Ori Alon Mayoral Candida, City of Beacon

NY Diversity Authority White Men Registry Ally Info Center National Alliance www.natall.com PO Box 172 Laurel Bloomery TN 37680 Re: membership application for a former Jew Thank you for your work in advancing the wellbeing of the White race. Like you I believe that white men need help in order to reach their full potential in life and I fully support their fight to end their unjust inner oppression. Last year I facilitated the NY Diversity Authority White Men Registry in Beacon NY which offered women and people from non white races to become allies to white men and support them with their struggle to express vulnerability, identify their emotions and talk about their feelings and needs regarding racism and the #MeToo campaign. The White Men Registry generated some heated responses, mostly from white liberals who objected giving any attention to white men. it also helped building the much needed consensus that white men need emotional support from dedicated allies who agree to wear a special button to make sure white men know who to lean on when they feel lonely, greedy, discriminatory or abusive before things go south.

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Since we both fight for more well deserved empathy for white men, I decided to join your Alliance. I’ve noticed that you don’t accept Jews as members. Along with the $25 fee I’m attaching a testimonial from a Rabbi that I am no longer a Jew since I converted to Clowning back in 2016. I’m happy to send you further documentation about my spiritual practice and answer any questions. Please enjoy my book Regulations are Flexible, which can be added to your rich online catalog. As a courtesy of the Empowering Clerks Network attached is your 12 months institutional Joy Permit by the Center for Supportive Bureaucracy. Remember to follow ECN Regulations to renew it (online or using white out). May peace be with you, Ori Alon

"Alon's White Men Registry helped me to develop more compassion and empathy towards white men, which doesn't come naturally to me" 52 years old Latino male, NY “Yes we need the White Men Registry because if I'm not going to laugh at it I'm going to die” Voter, WMR Referendum Jan 2018

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Foreign Countriesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Annexation

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

President Donald J. Trump The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500 Sept. 21st, 2018 Re: solving the crisis in the Southern border Dear Mr. President, The Southern border is over six hundred miles long, which makes it impossible to protect the nation state from people from other nations entering the US to seek refuge or a better life. Those who believe that the nation state is a thing of the past suggest open borders. That's a utopian position and the White House shouldn't give legitimacy to such Clownish solution. If you believe that the nation state is still needed or cannot be dismantled there really need to be a wall or a security fence or at least a little sign saying 'welcome to the US' there. But again this is not practical considering the length of the border. Mr President, I thought of a solution that will be in perfect alliance with the unique history of the United States and can cut the length of the southern border to less than a third of its length today, making it a reasonable border to protect our unique culture from being blended with the cultures of immigrants and refugees from other countries. That act will easily make the southern border only two hundred miles long (approximately, I will measure it better on the desktop).

This will also make the incredibly dangerous and long journey of those who flee Honduras and Al Salvador seeking asylum in the US much shorter and safer, making you and me possible recipients of a Nobel Peace Prize. I suggest we annex (or invade) Mexico and Guatemala, this way we can draw the Southern border over six hundred miles south of where it is now. What do you think? Best, Ori Alon

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Law and Order

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Chief of Police Kevin Junjulas 1 Municipal Plaza Beacon, NY 12508 Dear Chief Junjulas I'm happy to inform you that I’m running for Mayor of Beacon. If elected, I’m going to pass the Red Nose Police into law (I’ve notified the Gesundheit Institute). This seminar is in honor of Bogota Mayor Antanas Mockus who replaced traffic police with mime artists, saved the lives of numerous drivers and pedestrians and inspired many cities to follow his leadership. As part of the initiative cops will be subject to a high-five quota, wear a red nose (or silly mustache glasses) each time they interact with people of minority groups or with white people. Officers are guided to start each car search with a Knock Knock joke (while respectfully knocking on the window). Of course our staff is already overworked and we cannot expect them to remember too many jokes so they can repeat the same joke for up to two years. This of course is likely to make people of color safer during their interactions with law enforcement while helping liberals to hate police less (TTLGMA-77). In order to conduct the ten days intensive seminar I’d need to know how many Halal, Kosher, vegan, peanuts or gluten free meals are needed. As you know sugar and processed foods are the number one cop killers in America and I'd like to protect our officers from this poisonous threat. I already planned on making a scrambled tofu with just a little bit of avocado oil and extra virgin agave syrup (it’s delicious) for most of the meals. LMK. Thank you for your service, Ori Alon, Mayoral Candidate Beacon NY

Ori Alon Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network Department of Foreign Affairs

60 Anderson St. Beacon, NY 12508 917-5334703 www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Her Majesty The Queen Buckingham Palace London SW1A 1AA Dear Queen of England Congratulations on your son’s wedding. I didn’t watch it but my father in law had many things to say about it. The Empowering Clerks Network (ECN) offers a Certificate of Live Marriage which allows couples to celebrate and reflect on their relationship using Playful Paperwork. You can download & print it for free at www.supportivebureaucracy.org on page 47 or 55 on the vertical documents Google doc (the index page is a little disorganized, also do they use Letter size or A4 paper in the UK? You might need to adjust the document when you send it to print) or I am happy to mail you one or give it to you in person my father in law lives in Portugal, perhaps we can meet in Casablanca or somewhere in the middle the next time we visit? Currently I am running for Mayor of Beacon NY, a small town about six and a half hours from Pittsburgh PA. We deeply value democracy in our city, therefore if I’m elected you won’t be welcomed to have an official visit in our city since you’re not an elected official. You can stay in any of the many hotels or airbnb but we cannot spend taxpayers money to host an official visit by a public figure who wasn’t properly elected by the people. In solidarity, Ori Alon

PS In the name of Humanity I demand that you apologize for the crimes committed by a member of your Royal Family the king of Belgium, who murdered ten million people in Congo.

The Hidden Fortune Wheel is a street art installation inviting participants to imagine what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like to be in someone elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shoes for ten minutes. Over 200 wheels were installed all over the US and many are used by teachers and instagram accounts to promote compassion, love, hate, hope, diversity, despair, tolerance & intolerance. Collaboration with Ana Azzue Gallira. Learn more at www.alfassibooks.com

Two days after the installation was posted the developer took down the Beacon Wall.

More by Ori Alon:

Regulations are Flexible artist book Resistance Diary self help guide Not All Men defense testimonial Gender Neutral (Birth of Evil) post election memoir Checkpoint Charlie, Hitler & Me, Patriot Act postage stamps comics A Jew Killed picture book memoir The Magic Bagel children’s book series Satire as a Tool for Social Change artist talk Read ebooks & learn more at www.supportivebureaucracy.org

$ $ € ? $ € $ ? € $ ART IS WORK ? $ € $ If you enjoyed this book please consider making a PayPal donation to oribeacon@gmail.com to support my work or Pay it Forward with time / money / talent to another cause you believe in. Thank you Ori

Center for @Supportive_Bureaucracy, Empowering Clerks Network (ECN) #JoyPermit, Forgiverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s License (Class A&B), Apology Declaration, Refurbished Report Card, DIY Certificate of Recognition, Alternative Street Signs, Racism Release Forms, OK Parent Award, Village Fool Diploma, LLE, Open Carry Permit for Musical Instruments, PhB, Pain Deed, Adult Special Achievement Stickers. Aunt & Uncle Adoption Agency, Obituaries. 64

THE MORE PAPERWORK THE BETTER