Issue #40 by Jack Swan

Issue #40 FREE

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

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Editorial Ayew Serious? Fair Result? Do You Remember The First Time? Why Lawro Hates Swansea Liberty Eleven Fantasy Football Credit To Jonjo? What The Fans Think! The Top 2 Inches Picture Quiz Jokes By Spense Mel’s Memories Pictures Of The Month More From Spense Vital Information Race To Player Of The Year Mind Puzzles Wanna-be-pro Golfer Even More From Spense

76: 74:

Jack Swan Tries

80 86: 88: 90: 92: 94: 96: 98:

Jack Swan Eats Food Front Cover Explained The Secret Breakfasteer How To Advertise! Swaning Around The Univers Pub For Kids Parentless Parenting Quiz Answers

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I don’t know about you but I’m far from bored at the moment! There was a time last season and the one before that where I felt that we were an efficiently run club which would comfortably stay up for the foreseeable future without really doing too much; we’d have the odd big win but would always finish between eighth and twelfth; a bit like Villa before they went shite. Sod that, we are the MOST efficiently run club, we can achieve more for every million pound than any other club can for two million and as the TV deal brings more money into our club; world domination is inevitable!! I do have a slight habit of getting carried away from time to time but things could not be any better at SA1 right now! I said last season that forth was achievable and I’m going to raise the bar and say that it is not only achievable but I think it’s likely. I’m going to continue with these bold statements to back up my prediction so watch out! Our centre half partnership is the best in the league! They are two of the top 5 defenders in the league, both players would get into any other side in the league, why Chelsea didn’t sign Fernandez is beyond belief; I’m sure someone will try come January but him and Ash are the best pairing in the league; without doubt, don’t even try arguing! Montero is the best winger!

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Do I have to convince you of this? £55 million for Sterling or however much it was, if he’s worth that then you can double it for our Ecuadorian. He’s insane, he is unstoppable and can now deliver the perfect cross; straight swap for Bale? Sod that!!

Our midfield duo is as good as anyone’s! “As good as”: I didn’t say better this time! Would you swap Jonjo and Cork for any other? Yaya and Fernandinho? Matic and Fabregas? I’d swap them for Yaya and Matic but I wouldn’t really be tempted with any of their team mates. They complement each other well, according to stats; they are best two English midfielders this season. Apart from Aguero; Gomis is the man! I haven’t totally lost the plot! Aguero is the best striker in the league by a country mile. After that? Costa on his day; would I gamble a swap? No. Giroud? Swap? No! Rooney? Haha no! Benteke? Possibly but depends on what mood he is in. Keeper? who would you swap Fabianski for? This is without mentioning Ayew, Siggy or Ki Seng Yung. We aren’t an average mid-table team anymore. We also aren’t a team whose sole success is our work rate or ethic. We are a group of excellent footballers who also have this work ethic, who also have this work rate and top four is more than achievable. Just to warn you; if we get seven points in September; I’m going to explain how we can win the league! Hope you enjoy this issue; I personally think it is the best one we have ever done; I always ask for feedback and really are keen for it so please tell us! Enjoy

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Ayew Serious?????

This time last year Siggy was Siggy but we always knew that. His return went as we expected, assists coming out of his ears and just generally looking sheer class; I compared him to Roger Federrer at the time; he is just so graceful in the way he goes around playing football. Well this season; Ayew is the real pearl of a signing. A couple of issues ago I spoke quite openly about our covert racism in football and I generally get letters of complaint whenever I speak openly about these things but the alternative is to never talk about anything and pretend that everything is as it’s not; and I don’t want to live like that. The fact is (sad or not) that we assume certain things about certain players based on their nationality. An Italian striker likes to hit the deck; a German centre back is generally a tough piece of work and a good signing while you should always stay well clear of Korean goalkeepers. African winger come strikers also have their reputation and El Hadji Diouf sprang to mind as the signing went through. I expected a face I wanted to punch, dodgy earrings and someone who strolled around the park like he owned it but it’s fair to say that I have been presently surprised with the Ghanaian. His work rate is outstanding, he puts in a real shift and puts pressure on his full back from word go. Any game is easier when you can get into it; bowlers in cricket

can suddenly bat like an opener when they have taken 5 wickets in the previous innings. Defenders are the same, they have better positioning, time their tackles better and are better at the defensive side of the game when they are allowed to settle into the game when their team have the ball. Ayew doesn’t allow this, when you are playing up against him; you won’t get into the game easily; not a seconds peace. His whole attitude on the pitch looks fantastic and that he’s in it for the team. The shape of the side with him coming infield and Montero staying out is also ideal but he is far, far more than a hard working player who can get on the end of crosses. His pass for Gomis against united will not be bettered this season. There will be passes that are talked about far more; when Fabregas or Silva does something similar then it will be the greatest pass in the history of the game. It was outrageous and he did a similar pass a few minutes earlier. To have the eye for it is outstanding, to have the talent and confidence is really exciting. He could net twelve goals from out wide this season; even more if we are being greedy. It is early days but he looks every bit as exciting as Michu did in his first campaign but he seems to have a far better and reliable attitude. He is as exciting a player as we have had in the Premier League; exciting times! Please start your letters of complaint with the words ‘my world eleven consists of a Korean goalkeeper’.......

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Fair results?

After every game; we will ask our opposition fans whether they thought it was a fair result, who impressed them for the Swans and where they think we will finish. Here is what they said: Gareth Flew Chelsea 2-2 Swansea “Thought swans just edged us and perhaps deserved the three points. Best player was Ayew; looks a real quality player and could possibly get the swans into Europe. Also thought Ashley Williams organisation of defence is immense. Personally think they will finish 7th or 8th.” Jonathan Morrison-Smith Sunderland 1-1 “It was a great result for Swansea, and yes a fair result. Gomis, Shelvey & Ayew were the best players on the pitch, all looked incredible. I think Swansea will finish between 8-11th this season, depending on whether they can keep their best players fit” James Morgan Swansea 2- 0 Newcastle “I think it was a fair result, score line flattered us if anything, should have been 5/6 nil. Swans were class but we were absolutely awful, prob the worst performance I’ve

seen for years and that’s saying something coming from a Newcastle fan! Didn’t help playing with no centre forward 2nd half. I thought Montero was a danger all game every time he had the ball but Shelvey really stood out for me, he bossed the midfield all game, class act! I think swans will top last year tbh maybe 6th, Southampton looking poor this year and I thought they were the ones to finish above swans so keep playing like u did and 6th is definitely achievable” Tim Rendall Swansea 2 -1 Man Utd “It was a very equal game to be fair, some sweet football played !! I think a draw would have been a fair result, just due to the amount of possession united had over Swansea. Ayew impressed me the most; hell of a catch he is for you, he was offered to Brendan Rodgers in January but he turned him down saying he wanted some big name player: Unlucky Rodgers you f*ckwit haha. He’s a battler and a damn fine finisher, Ashley Williams still a force in defence. A cautious game from Shelvey, understandable with his call up for England, Gomis would be that much better if he kept onside and doesn’t read the game as he maybe should, Fabianski played well, the referee had an absolute shocker in all fairness that’s not an excuse for the result by the way. Think you will finish fourth.

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Do You Remember the First Time?

Do you remember your first game? Do you remember the atmosphere? Intimidation? I remember Matty balling his eyes out for 90 minutes at Upton Park once; in fairness he was only 17 at the time! I wondered how things had changed over the years and so I asked some youngsters and some not so young a few questions. I tried to speak to 9 and 10 year olds and then ask the older fans to think back to when they were that age. I asked them all the following questions: 1) What do you like most about watching the football? 2)Who do you go with? 3) Do you sing along with the chants? 4) What is your favourite chant? 5)How many of your friends in your class support the Swans? 6) Is it intimidating at all? Sometimes scary? Here is what they said:Caleb Demery’s aged 9 1) watching the players skills and then trying to learn them...... 2)my dad or the rest of the academy players....... 3) yes very loud .... 4)standing on the North Bank .... 5)all of them except 1, there’s 25 in my class .... 6)if it’s a big game and we’re

and we’re losing ...... 7)yes a little bit when both teams fans are shouting and

swearing at each other .. Cian Jones aged 9 1. The atmosphere as in singing songs. I love it when we score because we all jump around crazy. 2 My stepdad Gareth and his two sons Cameron and Bradley,also Rhydian (Gareth’s brother) 3. Yes always sing to chants that’s my favourite part. 4. 23 that’s including some girls. 5. I’m not scared at liberty but I am sometimes when we are away. 6) Swansea oh Swansea oh city said I and Cardiff City is falling down Jack Rees aged 9 1) South stand season ticket holder I like watching the swans because it’s fun. I enjoyed being a mascot for the swans against Everton in 2012. I made sky sports news. That was my highlight.

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2)I sit next to my dad, my Bampa, uncles and cousins also come along with me. 3) I always sing along to the chants, 4) my favourite is hymns and arias. 5) All of my friends are swans supporters. 6) No I don’t find it intimidating. I enjoy when the swans score and everyone cheers Mervyn Griffiths. 10 in 1990 1. Loved it most when the ball was passed out to tommy Hutchison on the wing. And the atmosphere on the North Bank. 2) My dad and my younger brother, my youngest brother also came a few years later. 3) My dad stood near front of the North bank on the halfway line, and we used to sit about ten yards in front on the black crush barriers, and we used to sing along to the songs we knew the words to. 4)Favourite song was “never felt more like singing the blues” 5) A handful of boys liked the swans, but only 3 or 4 of us went to the vetch regularly. Most supported liverpool and Man Utd. 6) Don’t think I was ever intimidated or scared. James Williams. 10 in 1996

1) Used to love standing in the North Bank by my old man always plagued him to take me to the double decker though. 2) Used to go with my dad 3) Yeah always loved singing used to love singing Falling In Love With You/ The Jacks Are Staying Up and I always remember We’re the famous Swansea City and we’re going to Wembley against Chester City in play off. 4) No other Swansea City fan really in my class remember 1 mate who used to come now and again but no one else had a season ticket or a shirt to be honest 5) Never got intimated down the vetch used to love hostile teams coming down and there’d be a better atmosphere for it! 6)Favourite player around that time was probably Jan Molby did have a soft spot for Carl Heggs he could smash a ball Shaun Bevan. 10 in 1993 1) I loved the atmosphere of the north bank, being stood leaning on the rails looking up at the clock waiting for 3pm to come and laughing at the people too tight to pay to watch while standing on the roof of

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their extensions backing on to the vetch, all while thinking back to the words of my dad as I glance over to the prison..... “ you see the top of that tower there son..... That’s the punishment tower.... They make naughty prisoners watch swans games!!” 2) Id go down with my little brother and my friend Simon sadly my brother passed away at a young age but I still get to games with Simon every so often. 3) I’d always sing my heart out and be part of the North bank to spur the team on 4) My fav was “Roger..... roger roger.....” ( you know the rest) 5) God I can remember only a handful of swans fans in school, even when we were off to the auto glass trophy final there were only a hand full of us, the rest were all Man U and Liverpool fans 6) The North bank scared the sh*t out of me..... I was small and everyone else was massive, banging the loose tin at the back of the stand f-in and blinding at the opposition and the ref, but that all faded away as it became part of me, my only fear was I may have been stood in someone’s spot..... I’d do anything to be back there for one final game Jamie Thomas 10 in 2004 1) Standing on the North Bank, the shear noise from that ground was something else. I have always been one to enjoy the atmosphere and banter between fans nearly as much as the game

itself. 2) A few of my dad’s mates from the steel works. 3) If you weren’t singing along to those chants on the North Bank there would have to have been something wrong with you! 4) The “Cheer up Lenny Lawrence” chant always sent shivers down my spine. Closely followed by the Swansea City song. Very few. 5) A lot of them were Liverpool, Manchester United and Arsenal fans. I would always get asked who else I supported apart from the Swans and I’d get stupid looks when I said nobody. 6) With the atmosphere produced down the old Vetch, it was always intimidating. Especially when the chants aimed at away fans got going. I wouldn’t say scary though. Clare Lewis111 in 1984 1) swans was my local team Leeds home 1984 7th may it wasn’t pretty in them days as swans were on the decline 2) I went with my auntie in the early days 3 & 4) favourite chant was Leeds 5 1 5) nobody in my class followed the swans as in my early days lived in west Wales. 6) back in the 80s it was intimidating because not many women and young girls went: not like today. I

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Do You Remember the First Time? first went home in 1984 and went to auto glass in 1994 and started going away regular Jan 1995 so have been going away about 20 years now and home 31 years

Father & Son!! Ian Jones: I was 9 in ‘79 and have been going down since then, bar a few yrs when I played myself on a Saturday afternoon 1. I loved the whole matchday experience as a lad, being part of the crowd, standing on the north bank or stamping my feet above the away fans when we went in the double decker. I remember seeing the players and thinking they were massive and untouchable 2. Always went with my dad - he comes with me and my boy now

swans 6. Never felt scared, overawed a little at times on the north bank but I remember a lot of the adults would look out for the kids and let them in front to see. Around the outside of the ground on a night game could be a little intimidating as a boy, especially walking past the pubs dotted around the ground Jasper Jones, he’s been going regularly since he was 4. He’s now 10. 1. The atmosphere, the feeling when the swans score and the great view from my seat 2. I go with my dad and my bampa 3. I sing to some of them, not the ones with swearing 4. The Ashley Williams song, he’s captain of Wales

3. I wasn’t a singer, more of a clapper and a cheerer as a boy

5. Nearly all the boys and 1 or 2 of the girls

4. Swansea till I die - no brainer

6. I never feel scared or intimidated there, even when there’s loads of police, horses and stuff

5. Back then most of my mates supported Liverpool, I don’t remember more than 1 or 2 friends following the

A big thanks to everyone who heloed with this feature.

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18 Why Lawro Hates Swansea It is a well known fact that Mark Lawrenson hates Swanse but the big question is why? We look at some possibilities: 1) It was 1976 and a young Mark Lawrenson played centre back for Preston North End. Pre-season, Preston came to the Gower for their pre-season bonding and fitness. On this occasion, players were invited and encouraged to bring their wife’s and family. Mark was unmarried and single at the time but had his eye on a young lady called Audrey and invited her down to spend the weekend with him; she liked his attempt at a moustache and happily agreed. One of the fitness sessions involved running across the sand dunes at Llangenith beach, during this run; Mark, and all his Preston North End team mates caught Audrey in the act with a Swansea lass who had a more impressive moustache than he did. Mark got mocked by his team mates and never lived this down. It was a major factor in his move to Liverpool.

to the floor. Anyone who ever went to Flares will have great sympathy with this as rule number one in Flares was never stay still. He tried all ways to move but with no joy, he tried desperately to take his boots off but with no joy either, he stayed there all night, watching the drunks get drunk and the skanks get skankier. The next day, the cleaners came and managed to free him but it was too late; he missed the match and got a rollocking from the manager.

2) His second visit to Swansea was while at Liverpool. A day before Swansea entertained the then league champions, Mark got talked into having a night on the Kingsway with the rest of the squad. A bit of a fashion setter back in the day, Lawro went out with a white waist coat covering a checked shirt and really tight skinny jeans. The only thing tighter than his jeans was his cow boy style boots which had his feet squashed tightly into them and came up half way up his calf with 76 buttons plus three laces. He looked the dogs dangly bits! After a sensible and gentle session, Mark ended up in Flares. He wasn’t much of a dancer but liked to stand on the dance floor, holding his beer (a bitter) keeping his feet perfectly still while gently rocking back and fore. After an hour or so, it was time to leave and the rest of the squad gave him the nod to go. But Mark was stuck

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20 Why Lawro Hates Swansea 3) Lawo stayed away from Swansea and had pretty much forgotten about the place when he was named manager of Oxford in 1988. He took the job as he thought he could impress easily as there was a real gem unknown in his side. The gem was a youngster called Dean Saunders but Dean would talk all day and all night about how amazing Swansea was which irritated Lawro. When Derby came in to buy Dean Saunders, Lawro overheard his young player talking to Ex-Swansea manager and Lawo’s old team mate John Toshack. It has never been released what was said but Saunders left for Derby the next day and Lawro had a tantrum and quit the club. 4) Being out of work, Mark turned his attention to media work and initially radio work. It was a difficult time for the Lawrenson family, many of his ex-team mates were having successful careers and were able to go on holidays at a whim. Wanting to keep up with the Jones’s or in this case the Rush’s, he booked a holiday for him and his family in Majorca. His family would fly out with the Rush family and he would meet his family in Majorca after a radio commitment. Being an incredibly boring person, it was very difficult for him to get many big matches and he was often sent to the less desirable places. The worse of the lot in the mid 90s was being sent to the Vetch. On this particular night game, Lawro was sent to the Vetch to watch Swansea entertain Woking. The usual ‘media box’ was totally out of action and so there was a makeshift

area in the North bank dedicated to the radio team. It was a quiet match, a nil-nil and nothing really happened all game. Mark left Swansea pleasantly surprised as his previous experiences in Swansea had left with disaster. He rushed to Cardiff airport and got there with plenty of time to spare. He checked in, began to relax and look forward to his holiday. As he made his way through customs, he emptied his keys and wallet out of his trousers, placed his bag on the bagging area and went through to a ‘beep, beep, beep’ noise. Thinking little of it, he stepped aside, they searched him but could find no detection of anything. They asked him to step back through the metal detector but once again there was a ‘beep, beep, beep’. There was no other solution but to carry out a full search, everywhere!! There was nothing ‘inside him’, nothing within his clothes and it totally stumped the security. A lady walked past with a carnation and as everyone knows, Lawro is allergic to carnations and so he gave a tremendous sneeze, at which point enormous debris of rust came from his impressive moustache (from the Vetch roof for you plastics). He cleaned up his moustache and went back through the detector with no alarm. Sadly, it was too late, the plane had gone. The next plane at Cardiff was in three weeks time and Lawro could not afford a different flight. He went home alone and spoke to his wife on Ian Rush’s mobile phone every night apart from the one night where ‘reception was bad’. So there you have it, these are some of the reasons why Lawro might hate Swansea

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22 Swans Eleven In our latest run of Swans eleven; Matty caught up with Izzy Iriekpen to ask him about his best Swans eleven.

With Monk could you see his leadership qualities as a captain at the swans, does it surprise you to see him managing the swans?

Who would you have between the sticks?

We had a few leaders in the team but Garry was the captain, he was a leader on the pitch and off the pitch to be honest you could definitely see him becoming a manger. He understands the game so well, so yes definitely I Saw that one coming.

The best goalkeeper I played with at the Swans would be Rodger Freestone, Brian Murphy and Willie Gurret. It’s a tough one out of them three but I would probably give it to Brian Murphy. Yes I think he was probably the best keeper I played with at the swans. Willie played in front of him but he was young and when he had his chance I thought he was class to be fair, I thought he was a brilliant goalkeeper. Left back & Right Back When I was at the swans you had Sam Rickets who played left back and right back and you had Kevin Austin who was a beast and Leon Hilton. Hilts was very good when I was there and obviously Sammy Rickets has played for Wales loads he was a great player when I was there. I think I will put Sam at right back and put Kevin Austin at left back.

What was it that you especially enjoyed playing with Monk instead of the other centre halves? I don’t know, we just had an understanding. We had a good balance, I was quick and Monk was a beast in the air. He was great at heading the ball, he was a good talker and we just jelled really well.

Were you surprised to see Sam Ricketts get so many caps for Wales? No I thought he was a very good player, he was a very fit player Sam. He was always good getting up and down the pitch and he has played a lot of games in the premiership. Centre halves There are a lot of centre halfs that I have played with at the Swans. I played with Kris O’leary there a couple of times. Dennis Lawrence, Gary Monk, Alan Tate. But I think the best partnership I had was with Gary Monk. Me and Monks, the year we got promoted from league1; we were a strong pair.

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24 Swans Eleven What about Dennis Lawrence. You mentioned the height at the back; you got that with Dennis didn’t you?

Yes big Den was good to play with, he was a gentle giant, for me Monks had more of a mean streak in him, he was just horrible; strikers hated playing against him. Big den another top player though. The nickname Gentle giant is that a good fit for Denis Lawrence?

you surprised to see him stay, he was obviously looking at going at the end of last season? He’s 32 now, he should really be playing more games, not being in the team I think it will be difficult for him to stay longer but he loves it there so much. I think after his career he will probably end up doing something with Swansea, I hope he does anyway, it would be great to see him at the swans as a coach or something he has been a great ambassador for the club.

Denis was the same of the pitch on it as off; there is no back bone in his body what so ever. I don’t think I ever remember one time Denis being angry. Football is a place where people can get angry in training or in a game but I don’t think I remember one time Dennis ever got angry.

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Yes he did didn’t he, he was six foot five or whatever he was, so to be fair he should of probably had more goals to be fair. Midfield

Leon Britton has to be definitely my first player in the midfield; Britts had to be in there. I knew Britts from my West Ham days and he was the reason I came to Swansea, he gave me a call and said we need a centre half do you fancy coming down. He said how great the fans were and how amazing it was and that I would love it at Swansea. He said The manager Bryan Flynn was brilliant and that the lads are great; So I went down four years later. I spoke to Britts last week we still keep in touch now. What do you make of Leon Staying with the swans again, it’s great from Swansea point of view but are

Who gets in the midfield with Britton? Andy Robinson: it has to be Robinson as he was a really good footballer; we had a really good team to be fair. There were some really good players. Andy had everything he had skill he could tackle he was brilliant, a really good player.

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26 Swans Eleven He was a cracking player and why do I get the impression that he would have been a bit of a character off the pitch? Robbo, I think everyone knew that didn’t they. He was the kind of person who couldn’t hide his feelings; if he was mad at you he will let you know. He was definitely a character off the pitch, we had a few you know but we can’t really speak about it though ha ha.

was Trundle the same; did he ever annoy any players taking them on in training and show boating? Trunds was always doing tricks. I think Trunds is still doing tricks in his house; in the bedroom. I don’t think he can go twenty minutes without doing a trick with a football. He’s a character, Trunds comes to life in games and he thrives off the crowd; that is when he comes to

Who else have you got in the midfield then? Let’s see if I can remember the players first.........Kevin Mcleod Did you play the Bristol city game when Mcleoud scored from a corner and we won 7-1? Yes I played in that game, Kev was a great footballer he had a great left foot and to be fair he should have done more. I am not sure if he makes the team though, I don’t think he quite make the team. He was a match winner sometimes, he came alive in games. I will go for Darren Pratley though! Pratts had a great engine on him; up and down nonstop; great energy in Pratts. He was always there Pratley; he never let you down home or away he always put it in and he was the same in training as well, his performances were always excellent. He gave everything, I can’t remember a time I ever felt he was a bit off today. One of my strikers who has to go in there is Lee Trundle, ‘the god of Swansea’. He has to make the team. I loved playing with him and he was a great character in the changing rooms as well. He was like a comedian, it was just a pleasure to of been in the same changing room as him and to have played with him. You talk about Pratley being the same in training

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28 Swans Eleven life but it’s not just show boating Trunds, he was a fantastic goal scorer. I know he played championship with Brsitol but I think if he could have scored a load of goals in the championship with the swans . Do you think he could have played in the premiership if he had of been picked up earlier? Obviously timing and age and whatever, if he was younger playing for the swans then he definitely would of gone on to play in the prem. He would of definitely been able to score goals with the big boys. Do you think people tend to forget with Trundle that he is not going to be easy to knock off the ball, you see him doing all this skill and scoring great goals but I can’t imagine him being easy to knock of the ball? He was so strong trunds, people didn’t realise. We had some strong strikers and people used to call him fat and that but he was really strong on the ball and he used to give so many defenders a lot of problems. Who gets in alongside

Trundle? Leon Knight definitely gets in, he was a huge hit at Swansea when he came. I think he scored a hat trick at Swansea on is first game. He was just a fantastic goal scorer; similar to Trunds and you knew if we needed to get a goal he would get a goal. So having both of them from, a defender point of view was a get out of jail card. Do you think Trundle and Knight played well together? Yes I do I think they should of played more really, I don’t think Kenny Jacket liked to play the two of them that much. I think he liked to play the big man Bayo Akinfenwa. I am caught between playing three up front and picking Bayo or putting Kevin Mcleoud in midfield. Bayo is my mate as well so I don’t want to leave him out of the team and he’s a big lad, it’s a tough one between Bayo and Kevin but I will go with Bayo. You’ve got Big Bayo to free the defenders up leaving knighty and Trunds to score the goals. Bayo is just a beast on the field but we had a really great bunch of lads and I still keep in touch with a lot of them, there really good guys.

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30 Swans Eleven Do you get back to Swansea at all?

I have been a few times but I am quite busy but I should get down for the West ham game maybe, I try and come down and obviously Leon is still there and Monks the manager and Sues the kit lady. I love Sue; I have to give her a mention, she’s amazing and I am glad she is still there. The team you have named is a great team, Did you feel like at the time with this side that it was a really good group and you had a chance of doing some good things? Yes because a lot of the players we had came from premier league clubs and they were young and wanted to play first team football. The players were good enough but at the clubs we were at, we wouldn’t of played in the premiership at the time so yes I did think we had a good chance with the players we had.

because he was a quality player but Pratts had the better engine. Big Paul Conner or Rory Fallon I think I would go for Paul Conner as he was a better goal scorer but Fallon was a real hand full, it was really difficult to play against Rory. Do you think Rory had a bit of a rough time at the swans? I think he did really, I don’t think he was given the credit he deserved really because he put in a good shift for us and did what the mangers asked and got on with headers, he had more than that but he had to listen to the manager and do what he was told. The best manager would probably be Robby Martinez.

Bench: Kevin Mcleoud definitely, Kev was ridiculously quick: really quick and he had one of the best left foots in the league at the time. I think if his head was on games more he would of done much more than he did at Swansea. I don’t know why he couldn’t perform week in week out. In training and everything you saw his talent and he was brilliant a really good player. Another one was marc Goodfellow he had a great left foot and was a great player but he couldn’t put it in week in week out. He could be a little bit of a disappointment because some games you couldn’t touch him then other times he wasn’t in the game. Roberto Martinez; it was hard to leave him out for pratts

It’s early on but do you think he will do well at Everton?

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32 Swans Eleven I am not surprised to see him there, I still think he’s going to manage Barcelona if I am honest. I think he is that good. You had a great career with the swans and were up there with the best centre halves I have seen in a swans shirt. After leaving Swansea you struggled with injury and unfortunately had to retire. How hard was that to take?

to see the boys doing well though I am really happy for them and it’s great to see them playing. Huge thanks to Izzy for his time. He was a great player for us and Matty had nothingbut good words to say

It was difficult, i was struggling with my knees even at Swansea to be honest. I had to really watch my knee, it was swelling a lot every game and then when I went to Scunthorpe I was struggling again and when I went to Bristol city they actually offered me another year and I failed the medical. I couldn’t handle it anymore, I woke up and I was in pain with me knee and my back so I thought I want to be able to kick a ball with my kids in the park so I had to make a decision to retire and call it a day. Do you find it hard watching players you played with and thinking you could have gone as far as some of the players? Yes there is no doubt I would have gone that far, it’s great

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34 Fantasy Football Between you and me; I miss fantasy football over the summer more than I miss the actual football. Not that I’m any good at it, for as long as I have known him, Aled Jones is the master of picking his fantasy team; I challenged him to a mini monthly game in here; rules are, must pick one keeper, one defender, one midfielder and one striker. Spend no more than £25 millionThink you can beat Aled? Send us your picks for October by Sunday 27th September (after Southampton game) and we will print your options; info@jackswan.co.uk or 07880369545 or facebook twitter and all that jazz! (Using the fantasy.premierleague.co.uk sit) Jack Swan: £23 million Petr Cech: £5.5 million. Couple of reasonably comfortable games against Leicester and Stoke with a trip to his old club in between and I can see him putting some extra pressure on his former manager; gamble but life is for taking risks!!!! Ashley Williams: £5 million. He’s in the form of his life and you just feel like he’s going to keep a clean sheet every time he plays at the moment. He’s going to score in September too!! Mark my words.

Aled Jones £24.3 Million GK - Hart (£5.6 Million) Man City Hasn’t conceded a goal yet - great defence in front of him as well. Tough 3 games ahead though - Palace, West Ham & Tottenham. Should get 2 clean sheets. DEF - Francis (£4.5 Million) Bournemouth Bournemouth have a great chance to pick-up points in their next 3 games - Norwich, Sunderland & Stoke. I’m expecting Francis to play a key role and keep clean sheets. MID - Ayew (£7.2 Million) Swansea He’s on form, scores goals, assists, involved in all attacking play... Why look any further than Swansea’s Ayew? Watford, Everton & Southampton to play next he will definitely build-up points. FWD - Rondon (£7 Million) West Brom I like the look of this guy. He’s big, strong, fast and scores goals. He will be scoring 15-20 goals this season I’m sure. Southampton, Villa & Everton up next. Chuck him up front.

Ross Barkley £6.7 million. He’s started the season with a real bit of quality. Plays Chelsea at home and he’s a big game player so I fancy him there and then he’ s at our ground and he seems to enjoy playing us before going to West Brom. He’s got a couple of goals in there I think. Callum Wilson £5.8 million 3 games against Norwich, Stoke and Sunderand gives them a chance of racking a few goals and I’d take a little gamble at their main striker at that price.

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Credit to Jonjo?

I’ve been accused of being on Jonjo Shelveys back and not giving him enough credit and giving Monk too much credit for the midfielders form and improvements over the last eight or nine months. I am quite used to being criticised for things I write in this magazine and I think this is no different to any of the other times; I’m right and the person in question is wrong! Jonjo has been the best English midfielder this season and he was towards the end of last season. His form has been incredible; he looks a beast defensively, he is strong, seems ‘leggy’ in the same way as Yaya Toure is and he is keen to be involved in all aspects of play. He has always had incredible ability with the ball at his feet and he has nurtured this so that he knows when to play short and when to play long and he has also developed a way to give himself more time, to drop deep and to have that extra split second to look up and pick a pass; he is top draw at this moment in time: undeniably. What has changed? Why has he improved so much? It has obviously taken an incredible amount of work to add all these aspects to his game. His fitness is clearly far better than what it was and he has clearly needed to work incredibly hard at doing this. I have heard that he has taken steps off the pitch and the training ground too, the well documented ‘live in chef ’ being one of them. So let’s credit the boy with his hard work yeah? No. And I’m really not in any way anti-Jonjo, I have met the guy on a couple of occasions and he seems really nice, I have heard loads of good things about him as a person and we have one story in this issue about how down to earth and what a top guy he is: nothing in the slightest against him personally, I think he’s a fantastic player but hear me out! Professional footballers are paid insane amounts of money. Should we really give them that much credit when they start to work hard on their natural ability? The way I see it, you have three types of footballers (more than that but let’s keep this simple) You have the talented footballer who is naturally class. He doesn’t need to work too hard on his game as he is easily a Premiership footballer as it is. He can develop moments of magic at those crucial times, naturally fit and strong and training is just an exercise which he needs to do in order to keep the gaffa happy. Nobody can get away with natural talent alone these days; not like with Gazza 20 years ago but at the same time; these players certainly don’t go that extra mile.

You then have the work horse; Gary Neville and our very own Garry Monk are prime examples of this (in fact any footballer ever called Gary). Players who aren’t blessed with the greatest amount of talent but give everything to improve and be the very best they can. First in training and the last one out of it, every drill is a chance to get better. They need to find an extra edge elsewhere and so they listen to everything tactically so that they can make up for their lack of pace or in some cases; lack of talent. And then you have the superstars; the really top players who have that natural talent and also have that drive to keep improving. Christiano Ronaldo is clearly the ultimate at this: yes he had talent but he’s squeezed everything he can out of himself. Technically, he is nowhere near as good as Messi: not naturally but with his work rate he has (in my eyes) surpassed him. Jonjo has always had blatant talent and he is now working extra hard to nurture that talent and the results are all there to see. Should we compliment him for working hard? Honestly; no! There are millions of people who would give their right arm to have his natural ability; there are hundreds of Premier League footballers who would to. He’s getting his rewards for his effort but I doubt he’s putting any more effort in than Alan Tate did when he was here he’s just more gifted. I don’t think he has gone above and beyond his pay grade do you? If you are paid insane amounts of money then you are expected to work your ass off; not doing so is a crime, you shouldn’t be praised for it. Yes he has worked hard but that is simply the minimum that is expected from any professional footballer.

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In hindsight; was Monk right to publically criticise Jonjo back in January? Kevin Thomas Well it's made Jonjo a better player and it's what he needed so I would have to say yes it was the right thing to do Jason Hughes Well I think it definitely put a rocket up his arse look at him now!! Back in the England squad. End of. Geraint Evans I think it has helped obviously, but you've got to look at the player and whatever else has been discussed behind the scenes too. Gotta praise jonjo for his reaction, takes hard work and dedication to up your game like he has not just a bad word from the manager. Diana Doyle Yes cause he is playing fantastic now onwards and upwards I say

Tim Rendell Monk looks to be the saviour !! But remember one thing Jonjo was playing for Liverpool and could have stayed playing second fiddle to Gerrard, but instead because he's a real old fashioned footballer he chose to play regular football, so he ditched a once top football team with a damn fine pedigree and came to Swansea and has been a revelation !! The way you "Swansea fans" are talking you'd swear Monk gave birth to him. He's a class player and it's no fluke he's had his call up for his country: your all so fickle. If he's picked up by a bigger club, because let's face it could or is gonna happen; you'll wish you'd have given him the credit he deserves solely, instead of making it sound like it was divine intervention from ironically a guy called Monk !!

Steve Poole Some players respond positively to private criticism and some to private criticism. Everybody is different. Jonjo must be the type of player that responds better to public criticism as he has improved as a player. Cath Sherlock Gary Monk apologised to Jonjo...does it matter now anyway. .whatever the reason Jonjo is training hard and getting the results he wants. ..proof = England call up xx Ash Swansea Jack Thomas Monk knows what he was doing. He needed telling and has since matured. Ian Wishart Yes. It woke him up. He is a better player for it now. Craig Wiggins I think so, he has seem to have pulled his thumb out of his arse, so to speak!!!

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The Top Two Inches

Here’s a question for you: did I mean to write this article? I mean, did I choose, freely, to put another five hundred confusing words in front of the editor of this magazine, or was it determined that I would after I agreed to write the last two? What about Fede’s own goal on the first day? Did he choose to send the ball looping freakishly over Fabianski, or was it inevitable that Willian would miss-hit the cross with his left, and that an instinctive block would send it goalwards? And what about Laura Bassett’s own goal that put England’s women out of the World Cup in the summer? It seems counter-intuitive that in choosing to cut out a dangerous cross, she could have achieved the exact opposite of what she was intending to do, and put the ball so emphatically past her own keeper into the only spot of the net she had no hope of reaching.

other hand, that stunner from the halfway line against Villa last year couldn’t have been more intended, and Jonjo’s ability to make the very difficult seem easy, with clear decision making, is his most remarkable attribute. The difficulty of whether there is such a thing as free will or just a series of predetermined events can be tricky to unravel in considering just one player. With that in mind, here are five things from the new season that were obviously meant to be, and five that were completely unpredictable:

If the criterion of a free action, therefore, is that another action could have been chosen, how can there be a choice made (to clear the ball) that results in the action that the choice was designed to prevent (conceding a goal)? Remember Jonjo’s performance against Liverpool two seasons ago? It was inevitable that he’d score against them, as all players seem to do against former clubs, but the two mistakes that Liverpool scored from can’t Arborum page.ai 1 19/02/2015 00:32:48 have been what hehalf spent all week working on. On the

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Some Things Never Change: 1. Tottenham chucking away a two goal lead. They even managed to take off their best player just as the momentum was swinging. 2. Arsenal not living up to expectations. Same old Arsenal, always Arsenalling. Big talk, then an opening day home defeat, mainly caused by the signing who was supposed to break the cycle. 3. Sunderland and Newcastle struggling. Every side in the league has that one player who can win a match by himself. Apart from these two. 4. Andre Ayew getting straight to work. Settled and ambitious side and experienced international player in perfect match shock. 5. Brendan Rodgers said “Outstanding.” He only used it twice, though, so they can’t have been that good. Some Things Do: 1. Chelsea conceding five in two games. Apparently, this is Fabregas’ fault.

2. Leicester being second on goal difference. And now they’ve signed Gokhan Inler. 3. Stoke buying Shaqiri and Afellay. Wonder what they’re making of Glenn Whelan. 4. The three promoted sides. Watford obviously have a leg up with their European connections, Norwich have been there before and Bournemouth aren’t quite the rags to riches story they’ve been sold as, but despite that, all three of the sides coming up have enough about them to avoid relegation, especially with Newcastle, Sunderland, West Brom and Villa still in the division. 5. Southampton struggling. Last season, half their team went, and they coped admirably. This season, Clyne and Schneiderlin have gone, and they’ve got one point from two games. Still some time for Koeman to sell a few more and get them back on track though. No managerial sackings before Christmas? Leicester to get into Europe? Make like LVG and get your crystal balls out, and let us know what the surprise of the season will be. Robin Hill

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A man took to the vetitand vet: "My cross-eyed, is there but that isn’this theRottweiler football of today. Today is all said aboutto the important for dog's that and at this moment in time, he isn’t anything you about can do for it?"when tomorrow comes! in our first eleven in my opinion. today! Worry tomorrow And in my opinion Jonjo isn’t in my first team plans -

today. "Well" said the vet "lets have a look at him"

It is sad in a lot of ways that football has come to this but that is where we are. It may simply be that the A big part of this isn’t just that we have better central British footballing world has become more professional So midfielders. he picks the up and hasgoing a good look at it's and eyes. We dog have good options forward. that this will bring the very best out of young Montero looks ridiculously dangerous, Siggy is players. It may well force players like Jonjo to be even outstanding, Bony is (and I genuinely mean this word) better but you can also see why the English FA are "Well" says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down" World class and Dyer/Routledge/Barrow are all very concerned about players lacking minutes. But I capable on their days. So what we need is for them to couldn’t care less about the FA and I doubt the Swans "Just because cross-eyed?" saysisthe man. a do either. have the ball, he's we need a midfield which controlling, midfield who can win the ball back and give it to our danger men and that is what Leon and Ki can offer. If I could get Jonjo to sign a ten year contract and he "No, because he's heavy" says the vet.......... had no possible way of leaving it then I’d play him now This is short sighted but I do feel far less inclined to but there is no loyalty in football and so in many ways A senior policeman China has been suspended job after caught ‘nurture’ talent than I in have previously. We don’t really itfrom is thehis footballers thatbeing are brining it on masturthemselves. need and money and players aren’tinloyal anyway and so I Why should a club invest time and playing minutes bating smoking joints his inoffice. don’t see the point in playing him in order to smooth into a player who will jump at the first chance they get? the diamond. I think that those days have possibly Nogone name was given but heleague. was aEach highgame w&nking in terms of the Premier is too officer.

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Mels Memories

Our next chapter in our talk with Swans legend Mel Nurse about football in his day. People talk about the Premier League being the most exciting in the world. Do you think the game is more exciting now or when you were playing? That’s another misleading situation. The game is quicker and do you know why the game is quicker? Two reasons; first of all the ground conditions, in our days after two games on turf, for the rest of the season you are playing on mud. If you have played football yourself, even at local level then you can’t push a ball ten yards in the mud; you can’t do it; it will stick and bang; you are in trouble. And you can’t do it at local level, at higher level then they are cunning, they are clever; you are talking about gifted people and so you clear your lines. As a defender i would clear my lines. I would get it and bang; if you had the opportunity then I would head it to somebody but I could be dropping him in trouble because the ball would go down, get stuck in the mud and he’s got to get it out to play on; that’s the first thing. The rules and regulations are different today to; you can’t look at people today because they will fall over; ‘it’s a penalty’ and you weren’t even near him. And the player has gone down, laying down there as if he’s been shot. The moment he gets what he wants, he jumps up and gets on with his way smiling. Surely the referee can see that and change his decision? ‘Come here, he didn’t touch you!!’; they have to start doing that because the game has gone out of hand, it’s gone ridiculous. I’m seeing things on the field now and ‘oh god, what are you doing?’ but you couldn’t push a ten yard ball in our days; defenders clear their lines and the old saying was that

you would play in their half of the field. If you make a mistake then make it in theirs as you have a chance to recover but if you make it in your half of the field then you’re in trouble. The equipment, the weight of my shirt and my shorts and my socks and I couldn’t afford pads, I was using books instead of shin pads. And that’s how you played professional football? Many professionals did because you weren’t going to waste your money buying pads; they weren’t earning enough money to buy pads and live. So were there people playing for Wales without proper pads? I’m not so sure at that level but that was down to you, they never provided you with anything like that. They provided you with a shirt and kit and that was it; you could keep the shirt see. You can’t compare. Would you like to be a player now? In today’s time? Of course I would! I’d be wealthy wouldn’t I. I wouldn’t be sat here talking to you! I’d be abroad talking to you. It’s unbelievable but I’m glad I played the time I did because we are now talking about money; we aren’t talking about football. I’m talking about football. The players which I played with were quality players but struggled to live financially. I look back at it now but the most I ever earned was £20, I never ever earned more than that at any club. I joined to ground staff at 15, played for Swansea school

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Mels Memories

boys for 2 years, played for Wales school boys for two years; I was reserve for first year, played the second year. I captained the youth team then for two years, playing for the colts in the welsh league, there was a structure of four teams, the first team, the combination team, Welsh league and the colts and because of my age I was in there but because I was a big boy I was also able to play in the welsh league and because I was playing Welsh league then I was playing Haverfordwest, Pembroke; it was unbelievable. You told me a story last time we met about the entire defence being moved into the first team from the Colts; tell us about that I progressed then two seasons from the colts, I’m now 17 and a half and I progressed to the combination, I went from the Colts to the welsh league and then to the combination which was the second team. I am in the second team and I have a right half with me called Brian Hughes and a left half Malcolm Kennedy, the three of us. Brian was light and it was natural to him to get the ball, have a dribble out and he was good at it. Malcolm Kennedy was more inclined to be defensive, if any of us made a mistake then Malcolm would sweep up and he would get us out of trouble and that was the balance that we had. We had three on a field and if you can put three together so that when one is going for the ball then the other two are supporting then you have a team and a half! The combination were at the top of the

table with us at the back and the first team were near the bottom, lingering and so they took all three of us from the combination and put us in the first team and took all three out of the first team and put them in the combination; the whole block; not just one; the reserve team went right down hill, nearly got relegated and the first team went right up the table and we finished about sixth in the table; if we had played on from the start then we might have got promoted; that is the difference. You can have quality individual players but as a professional person I can tell you that when you go on a field there are indifferences between players and the general public don’t realise it because it don’t show but the players themselves don’t work with each other, don’t help each other and if you can overcome that then you are in for a treat; just like the swans at present moment. We haven’t got any stars in the team; not really; who is the big name in our team? I can tell you the fattest and I can tell you the skinniest haha; I’m only joking there; there are no fast ones and there are no skinny ones. But what I’m saying is that we are very fortunate at the moment because they are playing for each other; they must like it there; I don’t know that for a fact but that is why we finished 8th last season because we didn’t out play anyone, we played as well as them but we beat Man United but we lost 2-0 to Crystal Palace because they are like us, they work hard for each other and if you get eleven players on the field who work hard for each other then you are made for life as a manager; all you got to do is keep them happy.

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Above: Seren Mai, Lili Rae & Andrew David Humphreys. Top Right: Marie Parton with Michael Davies ( who is NOT her husband; that would be Ian Dolly Parton) :) Far Right: Nigel Farage (get it hahahaha) Right here: Liam and Lola Right to that: Geraint Wyn Nicholas with Jack Cork P.S I get complimented on the way I describe where the pictures are. A Mr Christopher Smith regularly does! Hope you like this issue Chris :)

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58 Jonjo Watch I saw Marc Sherlock put up these pics on facebook; I asked what it was about and this is what he said: Jonjo just popped up to help me with the under 6 glais team and run them though some drills . He has a heart of gold mate top guy really good with the kids too and he took time out to help.

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An old man from Barnsley with piles goes in to a chemist. "Nah then lad, does tha' sell arse cream?" The chemist replies - "Aye, Magnum or cornetto" The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove... Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lane 7 and 8... Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking>through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, Frenchmaids outfit, and a police woman’s uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him..

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64 Vital Information All these are facts except 1 which I made up. Which one is made up? answer on answer page 98 If Bill Gates was a country he would be the #63 richest on earth.

million. A few pages were used as screen saver on Windows 95.

Bill Gates’ children will only inherit US$10 million each, out of his US$72 billion net worth Bill Gates aimed to become a millionaire by the age of 30. However, he became a billionaire at 31

When Steve Jobs accused Bill Gates of stealing from Apple, Gates said, “I think it’s more like we both had this rich neighbor named Xerox and I broke into his house to steal the TV set and found out that you had already stolen it.”

Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison and Steve Jobs, all of them had no college degree

During a TED talk about Malaria, Bill Gates opened a jar full of mosquitoes onstage so the audience would be able to empathize better.

Bill Gates was arrested in New Mexico in 1977 for jumping a red light and driving without a licence.

Bill Gates’ Foundation spends more on global health each year than the World Health Organization of the United Nations.

In 2004, Gates predicted that the problem of spam email would be gone within two years $28 billion dollars has been donated by Bill Gates so far. Bill Gates pays over US$1 million per year in property taxes for his house. If Bill Gates took out all his money in pound coins then it would weigh seven times more than planet earth. At a spending rate of $1 million a day, it would take Bill Gates 218 years to spend all his money Bill Gates bought Leonardo Da Vinci’s Codex Leicester in 1994 for US$30

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66 Race to player of the year Andre Ayew I still cannot get my head around just how amazing his pass was for Gomis’s winner against United. If Rooney had done that then they would be calling it pass of the decade, it was outrageous, sublime. The words “defence cutting” doesn’t come close to it; absolutely incredible pass. He looks far, far better than I hoped. His work rate is as good as anyone else in the side. His attitude is superb and he fits into the side perfectly. He wants to get into that box and at the end of crosses which compliments Montero on the other flank perfectly. It has been an incredible start to the season from the whole team and the fact that he is on top here says just how good he has been. At present; he’s on for the biggest accolade of them all; Jack Swan Player of the year! Gomis Four in four, how can I leave him out? He looks a different player to this time last season, a lot of that is clearly regular playing time but he does also look like he has settled and bought into the ‘Swansea Way’. Rumours are that he has a £7 million buyout clause which may test how much he is a ‘Jack’ as he now claims. He is bordering on becoming a ‘complete’ striker. His movement off the ball is excellent and his link up play with Jonjo really works there; he comes alive as soon as Valdermort gets the ball. He is strong and powerful and he is starting to hold the ball up pretty well too. The crowd seem to be warming to him and if he keeps up the scoring and manages 38 in 38 then he might even win this award! Williams The captain of Wales keeps getting better and is slowly starting to get some of the recognition he deserves. He had Costa and Rooney in his pocket; nobody is supposed to do that. Rooney looked scared of him, he looked totally lost but he isn’t the only one. His performances for Wales as well are just incredible; he is really in a purple patch and you just feel like he’s going to win every tackle, header or anything that is asked of him. His distribution is also underrated, there are few centre backs who consistently hit accurate 50 yard passes out wide and he seems to have mastered it. His drive and pass wide to Siggy for Ayews goal showed real confidence and class and he was destined for the box too! He won my player of the year last year and he’s a better player already this season; sky is the limit; we are really blessed with this man Special Mention FFS! How was I supposed to only pick three? Jonjo has been immense, Fernandez is top draw, Cork keeps putting in quality performance after the other. Montero was walking away with this award after two games; I can’t put everyone in so stop moaning!! We sit in forth but our performances have in some way eclipsed that; it is strange to say but we could easily have a 100% win record; the whole side has been outstanding; I can’t think of too much that Fabianski has had to do in reality. Just to give some (ever so) slight negative feedback; I have been slightly concerned with Naughton on a couple of occasions; we have to look to keep improving and be ruthless and if I was to pick one place right now then it would be him but it was Taylor 9 months ago and he’s proved me wrong once again; I’m just nit picking!

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Mind Puzzles

1) 1. The Most Intelligent Prince A king wants his daughter to marry the smartest of 3 extremely intelligent young princes, and so the king’s wise men devised an intelligence test. The princes are gathered into a room and seated, facing one another, and are shown 2 black hats and 3 white hats. They are blindfolded, and 1 hat is placed on each of their heads, with the remaining hats hidden in a different room. The king tells them that the first prince to deduce the color of his hat without removing it or looking at it will marry his daughter. A wrong guess will mean death. The blindfolds are then removed. You are one of the princes. You see 2 white hats on the other prince’s heads. After some time you realize that the other prince’s are unable to deduce the color of their hat, or are unwilling to guess. What color is your hat? Note: You know that your competitors are very intelligent and want nothing more than to marry the princess. You also know that the king is a man of his word, and he has said that the test is a fair test of intelligence and bravery. 2.100 feet in the air, yet its back is on the ground. What is it? 3) What can you catch but not throw? 4) What happens when you throw a blue rock into the yellow sea? 5) What loses its head in the morning and gets it back at night? 6) What two things can you never eat for breakfast? 7) A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird? 8) I have Eighty-eight keys but cannot open a single door? What am I All answers on page 98 Bonus Question: Get this right and win a free bottle of wine at Chaplins when two people have lunch (pop in and give them answer) What is brown and sticky?

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70 Golf Course Review In a new feature: Wannabe Pro is reviewing some of our local golf courses: he starts with Morriston Golf Club Course on which we played on September 4th, after the round, I asked him about the course.

What were your first impressions of the course? Excellent views from the first tee, and a nice short Par 5 to ease you into the round was also a welcome sight. What was the best hole on the course? I have two favourite holes on the course, and for different reasons. The first of these is the 2nd hole, which is a short Par 4 of 355 yards. This hole requires an accurate tee shot as the fairway is narrow and dog legs slightly to the right, meaning you have to position your ball well from the tee to allow a clear shot into the green. The hole is lined with tall trees adding to the narrow feel, so a challenging short Par 4, which is also picturesque. My other favourite hole is the 14th, which is a 198 yard Par 3. Usually I’m not a fan of long Par 3’s, as I feel a short hole can be just as challenging as a long hole, through the correct positioning of hazards. This hole however was enjoyable as although it was long, there was a substantial elevation change, and a generously sized green, meaning the tee shot was quite inviting. The other aspect of the hole which stood out for me was the view from the tee box, which was one of the best on the course How fair was the course? The course is very fair. It’s a Par 68 and 5823 yards total off the yellow tees, which is relatively short compared to some of the courses I play. Having never played the course before, and without the aid of a GPS, I managed to shoot 4 shots over my handicap – and considering I didn’t play very well on the day (especially from the tee), the course proved to be quite forgiving. How difficult is the course? There were a few holes on the course that were difficult, but the 6 x Par 3’s, and the 2 x short Par 5’s give ample opportunity to get any shots back you may have dropped on the long Par 4’s. What was the best thing about it? Without a doubt, the greens were the stand out thing for me on the course – very good standard. What was the worst thing? The tee boxes were quite poor it must be said, which was a shame, as the rest of the course is very well maintained. How snobby were the members? As we were out early in the morning, we only encountered a couple of the members. They however proved to

be very nice and welcoming, and also helped us locate Jack Swans ball after one of his more wayward drives. How well kept was the course generally? The course was extremely well kept, with the exception being the tee boxes as previously mentioned. How inventive was the course (different obstacles / hole lengths)? There were a number of interesting holes, especially on the outward 9. The use of trees especially was a good feature of the course, with accuracy required from the tee due to narrow fairways lined with trees as mentioned previously. The back 9 was a little less interesting, with the exceptions being the 10th and 14th which were really enjoyable. In my opinion, the addition of bunkers and also some water hazards on the back 9 would really take the course to the next level. How hilly / tiring was the course? Being relatively young and relatively fit / healthy, I managed to get around the course carrying my golf bag without any issues. The course is relatively hilly, and would suggest the use of a buggy for those who aren’t overly fit.

CMY

How good were the views? The views were very good, which I must admit was a nice surprise as this was something I wasn’t expecting, due to the course being located in a residential area. How easily did you get through without being held up? We were basically the first out on the course in the morning, and therefore we didn’t get held up. We did however see a few members who were very friendly, and got the impression that playing us through wouldn’t have been an issue. Conclusion? All in all the course was a nice surprise, and I enjoyed playing it. I would recommend it, especially if you’re looking for a course that isn’t going to overly penalise you if you’re not quite at the top of your game. As mentioned earlier, there are improvements that could be made to take the course to the next level, but overall I would highly recommend it, and look forward to playing it again. All the best, Wannabe Pro.

CMY

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74 Jack Swan Tries It is the day before we go to print; barely half of the magazine is put together and I still haven’t arranged a Jack Swan tries; I blame Nutter for not organising something but then I get the following email from the Swansea UFO network:“All systems go for our Skywatch this Saturday night. Clear sky conditions has been forecast, and we’ll be in a dark-sky site with no light pollution - Brecon Beacons, adjacent to the Cray Reservoir on the A4067 Swansea to Sennybridge Road. If coming from Swansea direction go past Dan-Yr-Ogof Caves and continue to the top of the pass. As soon as you go over the summit and start levelling out you will see the reservoir on your left hand side. There are several lay-bys along this part of the road, and we’ll be in one of those from 8 pm onwards. Wrap up warm as it will be a bit chilly, but dry.” Intrigued? Much? Of course!! I got in touch with nutter and off we went. Naturally, we had to pop in the Ancient Britton for a couple on the way; rule number one with that road is you cannot pass that pub without doing so; we also took one with us for the experience.

magical. Steve, one of the organisers pointed out the Milky Way and I ask the (What sounds a stupid) question; ‘are we looking at ourselves there? As we are in it? To which the reply was ‘yes’ which is what I love about all things space right now. (don’t ask me, I don’t get it!! Think we need to get Paddy a Jack Swan email address and allocate a few more pages!!) I just find it awesome that we are learning new things all the time about it but everything we learn either backs up or destroys another theory which we had which asks even more questions but the question here though was can we see any UFO’s and if we can, what are they? Do I believe in aliens? I think it is inevitable that there is life on one of the trillions of planets out there. Intelligent life? Not so certain but possible. Do they come here on holiday in their space ships and make crop circles? I must confess that I am far from buying into that but that’s what these pages are about; trying something new and so here I was. The conditions were perfect, it was cold but incredibly dark and I seriously recommend everyone getting up

I must confess that I am really into all things ‘space’ at the moment, Paddy is becoming a hero of mine and I look forward to all on page 92 every issue but I have never once looked through a real telescope and the chance of doing so was pretty exciting. Nutter drives as you’d expect and slams on as we see cars in a lay-by and we pull in. Not knowing anybody and it being really dark; we struggle to get ‘in’ with the crowd initially but within no time we were and they were all really friendly. The stars were incredible, the Brecon Beacons is renowned for its lack of light pollution and it was truly

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76 Jack Swan Tries there, getting some good fresh air in your lungs and lying back and looking at the stars; we didn’t see any signs of alien activity sadly but I think someone from the other side of the reservoir must have also had that email as they kept letting off flairs which may have been to wind us up!

Don who was playing some bizarre noises on his ipod (I’m shite with technology- could have been anything). These noises were recorded when crop circles have been made and I think he was playing the music to welcome any crafts. I asked him; do you have an open mind to anything?

I was keen to speak with the others and see what I had missed; what they had seen, this is what Gaynor had to say:-

‘No, I had an open mind and then I saw four UFO’s and then I had a closed mind; I didn’t have a choice. I have seen 4 close up. If they were manmade then we would be using them in Iran and Iraq, there is no noise with them just outworldly, very strange and I love planes and fighters and they are deafening and these; there was nothing, it blends into the surrounding environment and unless you knew the area and what you were looking for then you might not know; like an orange cigar shaped object, you think it’s a street lamp but it’s in the middle of a field and you wouldn’t use an orange light in the middle of a field you would use a white light! That’s why we are here, to try and see and

“We are here to look at the stars to see if we can see anything flying through them. It is absolutely beautiful here in Brecon, it’s a clear night and its really nice being here with these lovely people. I have been meeting up with these for about four months. The most exciting thing I have seen with these was the meteors a couple of months back down Mumbles.” There was a guy there called

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78 Jack Swan Tries learn more I have seen about one a year which isn’t very much but they have been groundbreaking and if I had a bloody camera at the time then it would be very difficult to argue with but the problem is that they use electromagnetic fields to break the laws of gravity as we understand it and so any electrical item; it’s just like putting a phone next to an MRI scan; it won’t work. People introduce me to others as ‘here is Don and he believes in aliens’, I don’t believe in aliens, I didn’t chose to; people believe in god and believe in Christ, Allah, Buddha and have no visual evidence other than text, I have visual confirmation of extra terrestrial craft. I must confess that I’m not convinced; UFO spotting does still have that stigma about it, its slightly barmy and Looney but I must admit that nobody I met seemed in any way to have lost their marbles and so I don’t think that they are crazy or that they are lying but I just find it really difficult to believe that the answer to what they have seen is that an alien spacecraft popped by for a nose. I was also told ‘off the record’ that one of the group had physically met an alien, this is what they said: They are here; I have met a couple of them, not the ships, I haven’t seen the ships but I have talked to them. One was in 2011 just after the Swans got promoted to the premiership, I went to the riverside caravan park and the whole weekend was crazy. I was talking to Alistair the owner and this guy was talking to me and he said that he doesn’t look like this and that he’s come to experience the evolution and I said ‘ok then’ and so that was one of them and the other ones were down the mumbles. They asked me about the beaches and I mentioned bracelet bay and they said no but when

I mentioned Rotherslade then they said that ‘that’s it!’ So what did they look like? Short with thick black glasses and a hat on; a lot of them will wear hats but a lot of them look quite healthy, like they are in the wrong film set; like they don’t belong in that film set if you get me! Again, I’m not quite buying it. I’m a cynic with most things though I must confess, I don’t believe in ghosts, tarot readings, gods, nothing like that but then I haven’t really asked the questions to much either. Regardless of that I absolutely loved every minute of my time up there, the people were fascinating and incredibly friendly; I am no more convinced that we have been visited by alien species than I was last week but I hope to venture to another star gazing night and you never know! The group meet once a month (I think) to discuss sightings and have guest speakers too. If you have seen something unexplainable in the sky or just want to explore that avenue then their net meet is on Tuesday, September 29th, 8 pm at the Welcome Inn, Llangyfelach. They have a Guest speaker: Howard Middleton-Jones who will be giving a talk on his experiences with the group, AMBILAC, and the contacts they made over 16 years, plus some details on sightings made around the globe. Admission is open to all, is free, but donations welcome. Further details: Emlyn 07954 806402 or Steve 07497 361267

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80 Jack Swan Eats Food

Vegi got trumped this issue as I had a phone call from multi-platinum selling hipster AW-10. To be honest it was all a bit awkward after the whole Little Karl break up and all that, plus he brought along his new ‘friend’ Huw. But enough of that; we went to the Italian restaurant in Clydach: Ti Amo (or something like that; it’s the Italian restaurant in clydach; there is only one!) Matty came along too, which made it all slightly less awkward to be honest. They have really done the place out nicely, it is in the old Vardre which was always empty and so was no surprise when it closed and they have really done a good job in doing the place up. The decor is very Mediterranean and the kitchen is almost on a

stage so that you can see your food as it comes out and the whole place doesn’t resemble an old pub in anyway. We had some olives and some bread which we dipped in Olive oil and Balsamic vinegar while we waited for the starters; we felt we should go full hog with this one as AW-10 was buying (least you can do when your last album sells 50 million copies). I like the pre-starter meals. You only really get them in Indians: the old popadom tray, it’s a good idea; think out the box other restaurants, come up with another one! To be honest, I could have sat back and eaten this bread and olive oil all day; we argued over the last few pieces; it was just bread; how do

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82 Jack Swan Eats Food Ja�� Sw�� Eat� F�o� you make bread and oil so nice?

I have a slight to make. Lastwrapped issue when For starters weconfession all had mozzarella balls in I ate vegetarian food in an Indian and made a slight deal Parma ham, which seemed pretty simple and straight about ‘trying being a Vegi’ ; Iforward was actually a bizarre but soinoften with time of my life where I wasn’tItalian eating meat at all! It and French cooking; lasted the best part of a month and actually freaked it was soI much nicer than it myself out; I woke up one morning and that I sounded. Mydecided Nan is French fancied getting slightly healthier; cut out beer and and she’d make plain pasta meat; and I did it!! with a bit of butter and it would taste like a gourmet That was the slightly bizarre meal thing.and Thethis really, was really similar, bizarre thing was that I reallyitenjoyed it. Iwrapped loved eating was cheese in different foods; the challenge of going through a day ham basically but it was to and eating three meals that die consisted for. of no meat. At no point did I care in the slightest about the animals involved; they are put on thisMain planet to Ibe eaten! meal went for But I was eating healthier, cheaper andas actually nicer food! pasta ‘when in Rome’ and all that. It was good, Anyway, I got that out of mychicken system!with Whatpenne a weird pasta month!!! I’m a meat eating MAN the It was (I think) but I did regret not goingagain!! for theRing lasagne. chicken’s thankfully neck, cookAW-10 it in some stick it on my amazing; was garlic unableand to get through plate!!!!! I headed Uplands; with Vegi! it all of his This and issue so I mopped histoleft over’s up (although

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II’m likesure the Uplands. a good few up I we have allI have madehad lasagne once ornights twice but there, does well loads with its ofmake really itlike thereally ones with of limited layers; Iamount can never drinking It probably only a it myself,establishments. I don’t know why. But this had at has leasthalf seven dozen licensed or eight layers it seemed, with a bit of mince and sauce boozers but it somehow rivals Wind Street as the place to go on a night on the lash; although a slightly more upmarket ‘lash’. The aim was to review Vietnam; the restaurant which bizarrely cooks food from Columbia! (not true). One of my favourite moment while doing this magazine was

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was good to see him eating something again after seeing those horror pictures of him in the tabloids).

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in-between and it was awesome. Really rich and filling and top quality. Issue #34 to Vietnam (the issue with the delivering of the humus and all was good!

quite controversial burning American flag front cover); I think owner must have recognised AW-10 she insisted there wasthe something quite amusing about doingasthat Keeping with my manly food, I went for a spiced on showing usathe back and got us all a coffee we while there was story ingarden the Evening Post about the before chicken and mango salad, while Vegi had a pizza. Both left which was really nice. The food was incredible to be honest, ‘offensive’ cover. were awful. Vegi uses the place quite often and tried his probably the best place to eat in the valley. Matty had the Pizza best to put a positive slant on it; ‘I like the fact that they as a main which also quality, it’sfor notone cheap notnew things and experiment’ was some of the words Anyway, we meal popped into thelooked Uplands Tavern on buttry andtotally it’s worth the price. If you like food which then left his mouth. theoutrageous way and we changed our minds andItalian went to I highly recommend if youmuch don’tsums then don’t be an idiot; go Brewstones. This place it; pretty up the somewhere else!! modern and high end and pretty Uplands, it is pretty I would prefer if they experimented and tried the food chic (that’s a pretty cool word right there isn’t it!): I fitted right in!!

before adding it to the menu. This salad was really awfully thought out. It looked like a packet of salad, with some chicken in it, poorly cut mango (honestly; not even the cut was decent!) and the chilli was bitter, not a nice tasting chilli at all. I tried leathering it with mayonnaise but it still didn’t hide the taste; really poor.

AW-10 NEW ALBUM Drinks were nice enough (difficult not to be). £40 for COMEthe two of us was at the high end and the mains were They don’t do starters; they do snacks and asBACK we were KID nowhere near that value. I left pretty annoyed to be reviewing it I thought this would do as a substitute. I honest and feeling like I had been cheated somewhat. I went for some Humus and flat bread: Manly!!! VegiOUThave had a good pizza there before but speak as you went for mushrooms and bread and the starter snacks find; this was one of the worse main meals I have ever NOW!!! were really good. I had a good lemon crust on the top had. We wait to get seated and shown to our table and just to give you an idea of the place (if you don’t k now it), we got asked whether we wanted a ‘high table or a low table’: not been asked that before but low was our request!

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86 Front Cover Explained Dear fellow Swans, “ No surrender to the IRA!!!” Do you remember that chant down the North Bank? The fans were different then, so was I in fairness; I loved it but you could have dissected quite a few brains before you found one with a cell. It wasn’t a fair representation of society in reality but now the skin head hooligan days of the club has gone and the supporters are different; family orientated; quite boring at times but at least most brains contain the odd functioning cell. It is probably fair to say that now, a full Liberty stadium at 3pm on a Saturday is a pretty good gage of society; as an average; it represents society fairly accurately; certainly more so than twenty years ago. Football has changed and generally for the better over those 20 years, as has the whole world. The world continues to get smaller; however, we are still waiting for something to genuinely unite the World; it will happen. It may take an alien invasion, it may take a real global epidemic, it could be a political movement on facebook or it could be some snotty nosed pop star but there will come a time when we realise that a baby dying in Africa is as tragic as anywhere else. That is what this issues front cover is about, as I firmly believe that football can do that; the fans; us. Seeing these signs in German football matches made me want to join that movement, want to be a part of it. I felt united with them; proud to be a part of football. It made me think of us, us as football fans, us as a city, us as a country and what I think of us, what other nations will think of us, what history will make of us and what my kids will think of us when they grow up. The current refugee crisis isn’t going to go away anytime

soon, there is going to be no easy long term answer but what we do now will be remembered and we will be judged by it, by the rest of the world, by ourselves and by our kids. David Cameron will decide what he decides but I want my kids to know in 20 years time that I didn’t refuse the refugees, that I said they were welcome. My daughter is 4 now and in many ways she is far cleverer than you and I because she hasn’t been manipulated by our media over the years. If we think, without ‘false knowledge’ then do we genuinely think that it is Ok for Andre Ayew to live in this country because he is good at football but it isn’t ok to allow a 7 year old girl who is likely to be killed if she stays where she is? That isn’t a hypothetical question that is a real, genuine scenario; the ‘we can’t afford it’ or ‘we haven’t got room’ argument is total b*llocks!! These are children dying! If collectively we have to all go without a starbucks once a week and these people live then is that really much of a decision to make? We need to open our eyes and be real about it all and take some responsibility ourselves because our government are quite happy to do as little as possible. I don’t believe in god or anything like that but we are judged. Our country has a long line of history, much we can be proud of and some to be ashamed of and the same can be said for Germany. Many of us are proud of our parents or grandparents during World War 2 for example, many Germans will be ashamed of how they behaved at the same time. In fifty years time, the Germans will be remembered as the country that saved people’s lives, who offered a safe haven. Their football fans can proudly say that they were a part of that; I say we join them! #Refugeeswelcome

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J��e� B� S��n�� I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day. Apparently, 'A meal for two with a terrible view' isn't the best way to announce number 69... Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy.

He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home , I've come all over giddy and i feel sick." Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner"... After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full.. During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk, About 7 miles, through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few –leaks- behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers". Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!" "Not really," I replied, "just a terrible golfer". I saw myself naked in the mirror, and now my hand isn't in the mood.

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90 How to Advertise! It amazes me how many people ask the question ‘how do I get an advert in there?’ when we drop off the magazines. In fairness, we do have quite a bizarre system but for those of you who haven’t worked it out yet, here it is:Firstly, get a large pot. Large enough for you to get into yourself; eBay is a good place to search but be careful and always pay attention to the delivery charges as pots of this size can be very expensive to deliver. Once you have the pot, you will need to start a fire. Outside is usually best but if it’s raining then I suggest you break into a large hall, maybe a community centre where you may be able to use some wooden chairs as firewood. Make sure the ceilings are high enough and open windows to let the smoke out. So once you get the fire going, you can put the pot on top of the fire. Be careful, make sure it is stable and secure but you’re clearly not stupid as you have already got this far and followed these instructions very well. Next you will need a little oil. Engine oil is ideal but sunflower oil would suffice. Next is the tricky bit, you will need a small ginger and white cat. Please be aware that you can only start looking for the cat once the fire has started and the oil warm. Don’t cheat with this; don’t think that you can catch the cat then start the fire because it simply won’t work! Once you have managed to catch the ginger and white cat then release it; it holds no purpose. What do you

think we were going to do? Ask you to skin it alive and put it in the pot? Come on!! Next is slightly wacky I must admit. You dial the following into your phone; zero, seven, eight, eight, zero, three, six, nine, five, four, five and then press the call button. Somebody should answer the phone and you can book or discuss the options with that person. That person will tell you what to do with the pot when you speak to them. Incidentally, if you actually did buy a pot, start a fire in a community centre, traumatised and then released a ginger and white cat then I suggest trying this number before contacting us: ‘nine, nine, nine’ and just explain what you have done and make it very clear that you had no instructions from anybody to do anything....

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Swanning Round the Universe COINCIDENCES IN SPACE... We've all seen an eclipse right? Ever wonder why the moon fits exactly over the sun?

In fact it’s easy to explain. The moon is 1/400 the size of the sun while it is also 1/400 distance between Earth and sun. Scientists and science fictionalists have been mesmerised by that one for centuries. Asimov called it the 'most unimaginable of coincidences'. And it doesn't stop there... The sum of the radius of Earth and Moon is 3960 + 1080 = 5040 miles. This means the sum diameters is the same as number of minutes in a week 7 days × 24 hours × 60 minutes = 10080... Wow!!! Coincidence??? And there's more... Se7en There are 7 clearly visible heavenly bodies... Moon Mars Mercury Jupiter Venus Saturn Sun The 7 days of the week... Monday...Tuesday... etc Wow!!! And it doesn't stop there... Swansea have beaten Manchester united 3 out of the last 3 times they've met in the EPL... 9 points out of 9... Gomis has scored in every EPL game so far this season... 4. Gary Monk used to play for Swansea... Are the stars aligning? is all that infinity of space/time/chaos/possibility at last coming to its great triumphant conclusion... Swansea Football Club 2015/2016 Premier League champions 2015/2016... . Paddy Stradlin

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96 P n - es P��n�-�es� P��n��n�! P n n ! have been there, (well those with kids) the football is on and don’t get watch hardly WeWe have allall been there, (well those of of usus with kids) the football is on TVTV and wewe don’t get toto watch hardly any it as too busy entertaining the little monsters. I asked Claire from Munchkinos any of of it as wewe areare too busy entertaining the little monsters. I asked Claire from Munchkinos Childminding and come with a solution. Childminding toto trytry and come upup with a solution. September the 19this International a Pirate Day (No I didn’t make it The celebration of International FairyTalk Daylike during June up! Itme does exist) we for areadoing lots of Pirate activities moment in the stones to make them look prehistoric gave inspiration new activity . This is one thatat theeven painted preparation for the big day. have been outforlooking can start outside and end upWe indoors in time the for treasure, (for the dinosaur garden). Take all of your materials learningBonus new pirate the plank, dressing and even match. pointswords, shouldwalking be awarded for fresh air up inside along with an empty box and allow your child learning jokes;and “What is free a Pirates favourite letter? R!” (That one will give whilst you watch the football. They can and creativity guilt football watching should to be creative Spense a run for his money) The favourite activity and more importantly, ensue. What you will need the one that kept the children occupied for the longest time, was digging 1/2 cup salt 1 Tbsp. Cream of Tartar for treasure. Indoor Gardens smiling eyes 1 Tbsp. oil 1 cup water The children at enjoyed makingreally the golden dough and then digging in it Munchkinos enjoyedplay making Golden yellow food colouring, to find the treasure. thecould dough up before the match with fairy gardens outsideYou andcould askedmake if they take www.facebook.com/munchkinos Approximately 1/4 cup gold glitter your children then hide the treasure them home toand show their parents. So we in it later when they are not A variety of pretend looking. even up a treasure came upYou withcould the idea ofset recreating the hunt to find the treasure play gems, gold coins, dough. We put ourshoe playboxes. doughIt's into a box to make it look more like treasure gardens in empty a very coloured glass beads, beaded and buried it in a box of dressing up clothes. necklaces, activity can keep your little munchkins play jewellery, etc. www.facebook.com/munchkinos going for ages. It doesn't have to be a A small shovel or spoon fairy garden. We have made monster A small treasure chest (optional) homes, alien planets, prehistoric lands , farms, parks and a jungle the possibilities are endless. (See photos; scale Recipe for Treasure Playdough obviously not important Smiling face To make your golden playdough “sand,” mix (black and white)) together the flour, salt and Cream of Tartar. Add the oil and water and stir until smooth. What you need Cook over medium/ low heat until dough looks dry, but is still sticky. An empty container (shoe box or similar) Let it rest for 1 min, then knead in golden yellow food colouring and sparkles Any small toys/props your child decides Flatten out your playdough and place all the An imagination “treasure” on top. Fold the playdough over the gems and place in a special box. How to create your garden Provide your child with a shovel and tell them you have found a treasure box and wonder Spend some time with your child what might be buried under the sand! Or exploring the garden, park or any green alternatively hide it and draw a map for them space. Take some time to collect bits to search for it. they think would help to create a

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98 Quiz Answers Mind Puzzles: 1) Solution: White. The king would not select two white hats and one black hat. This would mean two princes would see one black hat and one white hat. You would be at a disadvantage if you were the only prince wearing a black hat. If you were wearing the black hat, it would not take long for one of the other princes to deduce he was wearing a white hat. If an intelligent prince saw a white hat and a black hat, he would eventually realize that the king would never select two black hats and one white hat. Any prince seeing two black hats would instantly know he was wearing a white hat. Therefore if a prince can see one black hat, he can work out he is wearing white. Therefore the only fair test is for all three princes to be wearing white hats. After waiting some time just to be sure, you can safely assert you are wearing a white hat. 2) A centipede on its back. (Best one ever??? ) 3) A cold 4) it sinks 5) A pillow 6) Lunch & dinner 7) you don’t get bananas on cocunut trees. 8) a piano Vital Informatoin If Bill Gates took out all his money in pound coins then it would weigh seven times more than planet earth. Did the pound and not dollar give it away?

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