Issue #91 by Jack Swan

SU E# 91

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The day we all looked at Obafemi with the same pride that his mother does!

LITTLE INTRO

I am generally an unrealistic optimist. Having said that, I can also be a very unrealistic pessimist. Essentially, we can be losing 4-0 and I still have a hope that we can win 5-4 but if we are winning 4-0 then I’d take a 4-4 draw! The last few weeks, right up until the Middlesboro game, I was refusing to give up on the play-offs. I was called mental by many. Then people started to dream and then we threw it away at home to Barnsley and then that ridiculous 4-4 up in Reading…. I was actually confident on that occasion at 4-1 too. We aren’t quite good enough to go up yet and another season here could put us in good stead not just to challenge a play-off place or go up but even to stay up. Time will tell but the last month has only been about one thing really: the double! I often speak about how frustrating it can be doing a monthly magazine on the Swans. With the der-by game, I got a magazine out just before it as a ‘build up’ issue. What that sadly meant though was that it’s been a long month afterwards with so much to say! In this issue, there is a few pages dedicated to the game from the viewpoint of our lovely neighbours. I scrolled through the Cardiff forum before, during and after the game to see how their comments changed. It is essential reading! The swearwords increase as each comment goes on. It was beautiful for us but horrendous for them and its is hilarious to read through it. You will enjoy! We are at that meandering time of the season where we don’t really have much to think about. Our squad seems together, I can’t imagine loads of activity going out or too much coming in. I feel like we could have a bizarrely quiet Summer. (No doubt that means that Russel Martin will be off by the time this comes to print and we will be back to the drawing board!) This has been a fun issue to put together. Thank you to Garry Fishlock for the front cover picture and a big happy birthday to Mr Spense who hit a major milestone this month. Happy birthday mate, look forward to having a beer soon!

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5 REASONS TO BE OPTIMISTIC FOR NEXT SEASON It has been a weird season. There has been frustration at times, on other occasions, we have looked like we could be a Premier League side again. On the whole, we seem to be heading in the right direction. Here are five reasons why we should be optimistic for next season:-

Financially sound……

The parachute payments have long gone. The club’s plan has appeared to be to secure long term financial stability. To cement ourselves as a Championship club with the financial restraints which it has. There are no £50-£60,000 a week players left, there is nobody at the club who remains on a contract handed to them during Premier League times. Put simply, there is no reason for us to ‘need’ to sell anyone. In previous seasons we have had to accept that certain players have needed to go in order to balance the books. We were stuck with certain players who enjoyed tens of thousands a week and players went in order to pay another player’s contract. There can be no such excuses this summer. Since relegation, the fans have been promised that this would be the time we would shine. That we would be targeting our best chances of promotion after the parachute payments went. Something which made no sense to most of us. If we are in the financially strong position that we should be then we can say ‘no’ to bids for our top players. And if there is an offer of £20 million for Piroe which we can’t refuse then that money can be reinvested in players…. (Time will tell what actually happens though).

Age on our side

In our 22 man squad, the average age is slightly over 25. Patterson (30) and Naughton (33) are the only 2 regular starters over 30, however, asides from (on loan) Finley Burns, there is no teenagers in the group. There are no novices, no kids with no experience. The squad is young but it is mature and hungry. Players like Obafemi (21), Piroe (22) and Ntcham (26) have a point to prove after struggling at previous clubs. Downes (23), Grimes (26) and Manning (25) are at that age defining time where careers are made. Young enough to still play Premier League football for many years. Not yet proven enough to be guaranteed a professional contract in 3 years time. There appears to be no big egos, nobody has done enough to deserve one yet. At the helm, a sensible and calming Kyle Naughton has become a vital cog in our wheel. A level head, with experience and more Premier League football under his name than all others combined. The age, hunger and blend of the squad could not be any better. The time is nigh.

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We own the players

Woodman, Carter-Vickers, Guehi, Gallagher, Brewster, Surridge, the list goes on of players that we have had on loan since relegation. At times, it has felt like papering over the cracks. Seeing a side with four or even five in the starting line up that are borrowed elsewhere does little to excite me. It is fine having a couple of loan players to add to a squad but there is a problem when your best players are simply here to gain experience. Especially when your next best players are being sold every summer. We don’t face that issue this Summer. Finley Burns has barely played and although Wolf and Christie would be a loss, replacing just 2 positions would be a far easier task than previous campaign and you feel that we have a decent chance of keeping Christie and you never know with Wolf! Our keeper and central 3 defenders are all owned. As are their back-ups. Our midfield and front three are all under contract too. We shouldn’t need to sign loanee replacement after loanee replacement. It bodes for a good Summer!

A bedded style

It isn’t easy to understand the style we play. It does take time to bed in, but you do get the feeling that our squad now understands what Russel Martin wants. He had no pre-season last summer, if we can get any new recruits in early then they will be joining a squad less clueless than last year. The spine of the side should be the same at the start of next season and bringing players into a camp who knows what they are doing seems far easier than teaching an entire camp from scratch. For good and bad, we know what to expect next season. A possession based style with wingbacks higher than anyone else on the pitch. Hundreds of frustrating backwards passes but hopefully more glimpses of genius. There will be no hiding room for Russell Martin next season. This will be his team, his squad and definitely his style.

Realistic Expectations.

I say this with an element of calm. I don’t think anyone is really expecting to finish in the top two. We can hope that we might but nobody should be throwing their toys out of the pram if we don’t. I’ve been really impressed with our fanbase this season. You get the odd moaner who’d moan if we won the Premier League but left it until the last game of the season but generally I think we’ve been really supportive. Especially when you think we reached the play-off final last year. We will support the players, the gaffa, as long as the effort is put in and we won’t be demanding a top 2 or even a top 6 finish. We will be obviously hoping for one but players and manager wont be starting the new season with a pressure of expectation like others will. It bodes for a really good season…. Or is that putting pressure on??

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5 WHAT-IF’S THIS SEASON

5 reasons that we missed out on the play-offs this season It has been a good season, a changing one. We have moved away from a style of play which we didn’t enjoy watching and we can now feel that our identity is back. We are also, very close to making the play-offs. We’ve missed out but not by much. Here, we look at the ‘what-ifs’, the factors which kept us out.

The Jamie Paterson saga

The Swans scored just 2 goals in 6 games during that frustrating period after the transfer window opened. Without laying blame on either party, a few more goals and points could have made it far more exciting come the end of the season. We strolled through games at this time without any creativity at all. It was prior to Wolf, who offers that a little bit but Patterson is the creative flair in our jigsaw. It should be a lesson to us that we need more of it, we can’t rely solely on one player. Credit needs to be given to club and player for how they came together and moved on from the time. Martin seemed to be a quality mediator in that scenario. His man-management skills appear to be second to none. We have to ask the question though, what could have been if there was no blip that January?

No penalties….. (1)

We have now had just one penalty in over 12 months. There have been some clear ‘stone-wallers’ which have not been given to us, especially at home. Most sides have had at least 4 given during the campaign, Fulham and ‘Boro have had 7. There have been many games where we have been unable to break the deadlock, Laird had a couple of clear fouls on him in the box, Bidwell too, Piroe. These were all tight games. An extra 3 penalties could have easily seen us get that 6th spot. If football levels itself out, then next season we can hope for a surplus of penalties; 2 every week! For now, we are left wondering ‘what if’ the man in the middle had pointed to the spot a few more times?

Poor leadership / game management Southampton, the Swans go 2-1 up (cup game – this is just an example) playing against 10 men in extra time. We concede instantly and lose 3-2. Reading at home, Swans equalise to make it 2-2 early in second half, Reading get gifted a goal within seconds later to fall 3-2 behind again.

These are two examples of the Swans being unable to see out games at times. I look at Matty Grimes. I feel that he gets unfair criticism a lot. I think he’s our best player but I do think for him and Swansea to move onto the next level then he needs to control a 90 minute game better. It is hard not to compare him with Leon Britton. Both play in that midfield, love to get on the ball and recycle it. I still think that Grimes can learn a lot from Leon. It wasn’t just Grimes fault that we conceded the goals we have at bad times however generally I think our current captain should be able to dictate a game better. He has all the attributes.

Whether it is speeding the game up when we need a goal or slowing it down when we don’t. Too often we pass the ball at the same pace regardless of the game scenario. Matty Grimes (And Flint Downs) control the pace of the game but if they were better at it then I think we would have those extra few points needed.

New Style – no pre-season

Much has been made about the transitional season. It is true that few managers would get given a full campaign to impose their style but it is a very unique way of playing. It has evolved over the season I think too. The back three don’t seem to be quite as spread out as at times before Christmas. We do look less Shakey, I feel like that’s partly because the players are getting used to it but also maybe a slight change of tactic at the back. Slightly less mental! As I write this, we haven’t lost in eight matches. If we think back to the start of the season where relegation was a real concern, we can clearly see that we have improved as the campaign has gone on. Which begs the question to what could we have done if Martin was given a full pre-season? The new system, thrown in the deep end, two games a week plus having to learn all the integrities, it was always going to be hard. If we had of had those extra weeks then you can’t help feeling that we’d have gelled quicker and would have more points. Probably enough to be in the top 6.

Inconsistent

For some reason, at no time during the campaign have we been able to be successful both at home and away. We keep going on runs where we’ve won 5 home game sin a row or not lost on the road in 5 but they’ve never been at the same time. The championship is tough. Really tough, there are no easy games, each side play a totally different style and so we can look amazing one week and then really poor the next. However, this season we have been the complete extremes. I say this, without aby doubt that there are times in the season where we have been the very best side in this league, played football better than a very good Fulham side. There have also been large spells where we have been easily the worst team in this division. Easily. We made Barnsley look like a Premier League team in our own stadium for example. Every side will say this, every side in the Championship has spells where they are good and others where they aren’t. We have taken the biscuit this season though. We haven’t been consistent enough to ever deserve to be in the top 6 and ultimately that is the reason why we aren’t.

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EFL SUPPORTER OF THE YEAR Swans fan Catherine Dyer won the prestigious EFL Supporter of the year award in Central London on Sunday 24th April. The Official Swansea Twitter were quick to tweet “A lady who has worked tirelessly to establish and promote @SwansDSA. A lady who lives and breathes Swansea City, and is loved by everyone. A huge congratulations to Cath Dyer, who has tonight won #EFL Supporter of the Season” I asked Cath how it felt to win the award “Very proud and honoured to have been nominated by the club, and thrilled to have won. This will help raise the profile of Swansea City AFC, the Swans DSA, disabilities and ladies in the game.” Cath couldn’t have chosen a better first game to watch the club “(it was) Aug 1981 Swans 5 v Leeds 1. I loved it. Used to go to Harpers disco and meet the Swans. Haven’t been to many away due to the girls, but beating Reading at Wembley is a fantastic memory.” “I then joined the trust in 2011 when we came back to Swansea from Llandrindod. I did all the interviews Welsh and English, helped with the travel committee and the awards nights and helped Ian James set up the DSA.” “I’m secretary (about 7 years now) and enjoy every minute of it. We are an independent committee that works well together in order to help disabled fans match/day experience, as well as providing support, holding social events, and acting as the link between disabled fans and the club. We hold regular meetings with Cath Thomas. Becky Edwards-Symmons is always very supportive and helpful.” “I set up a championship DSA group last season where clubs come together and share best practise and information. We have clubs from league 1 and 2 involved.” “I am just so proud and honoured. I love the club, the city, the DSA, my family, friends and DSA members.” Well done Cath and thank you for everything you do!

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Player Watch Flynn Downes

Above centre midfield touches v Barnsley Below centre midfield touches v Coventry

Flynn Downes has had a very good first season in a Swans shirt. He’s made himself a first team starter and he is becoming missed when he’s not there. Him and Grimes have been able to control possession in most matches.

What is more of a surprise is the difference on the right flank.

We look at the differences between the Coventry game back in March, where Downes played alongside Grimes and the Barnsley game where Fulton partnered the captain.

Grimes, with his left foot, naturally is happy to drift out left and link up with the left hand side. Again, this is something which we clearly see during a game.

In these images you can see every touch from each of the two centre midfielders. On first sight, you can see that the touches were very compact in the Barnsley game. Over 50% of the touches were in that heart of the centre midfield area. Less touches coming short and less further forward, suggesting a more stagnant side. Against Coventry, we see more touches nearer our goal suggesting that Downes and Grimes feel more comfortable taking the ball from deep than when Fulton plays. This is something which we can generally see in a game and will surprise few.

Something less obvious, is how much Downes does down the other flank. We see Downes getting far more touches of the ball out on the right than when Futon played v Barnsley. This in turn allowed Christie to see slightly more of the ball (61 touches over 57) but far further wide. For the balance of the side, he is becoming vital.

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Only the drinkers in the Masons in Waunarlwydd got them right last month (not the first time either). A tough one NO Answers back anymore as requested bypage the locals the the Masons Arms in Wanuarlwydd. them!!!! Just forat athe change: Answers 98!in Get between all 4(little asBlame well again herem I’ve made number 2 as hardare as I on could! Get ther link too, as link the case on 18/04/22 clue there) Send your answers to 07880 369545 to get your name in next months issue! There is a link between all five! Text in your answers to 07880 369545

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HERES TEN SWANSEA QUESTIONS FOR YOU All these stats are according to the whoscored.com They differ from place to place, some media outlets call a post on target, how? The keeper didn’t save it and it didn’t go in. Anyway, this months quiz is all about one game….. 1) When Swansea beat Cardiff away 4-0 back in April. Which Swans player had two assists? 2) After how many minutes were Swansea ahead? 3) True or False. Cardiff goalkeeper Smithies had more touches of the ball than their striker Harris? 4) True or false, Swansea’s two centre midfielders (Grimes & Downes) had more touches than the 3 which Cardiff played plus their two strikers? 5) What percentage of the play did Swansea have? 6) Wolf, Downes, Piroe and which other Swans player were booked? 7) True or False. Coming on in the 71st minute. Jay Fulton made more successful tackles than any Cardiff player? 8) In 90 minutes of football, how many times were Cardiff offside? 9) Obafemi scored 2 goals but how many touches did he have in the entire game? 10) How many players played for either side who are NOT from the home nations (including Ireland)? Whose heat map is this? (Swans player)

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1) A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why? 2) I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food! What color was the bear? 3) A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? 4) What is special about these words: job, polish, herb? 5) I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody. What am I? 6) A man stands on one side of a river, his dog on the other. The man calls his dog, who immediately crosses the river without getting wet and without using a bridge or a boat. How did the dog do it? 7) I can’t be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I’m worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I? 8) Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I? 9) No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I? 10) How can 8 + 8 = 4? 11)

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A LOCAL HISTORY LESSON Get out and explore!!

HEAP OF BONES & ANCIENT CELT FOUND ON MYNYDD DRUMAU The questions and importance of Mynydd Drumau we still don’t fully understand.

The historic questions about Mynydd Drumau outnumber the answers. But often there is more fun in the not knowing. What appears certain is that the area between Bryncoch and Birchgrove, which overlooks Skewen, Neath and Neath Abbey are reaped with ancient history. Careg Bica: Standing Stone The first mystery is well known and difficult to miss. Maen Bredwan, (also known as Careg Bica) is a 4.3 meter standing stone. In 1203, King John used the stone as a marker between Gower and Glamorganshire. Over eight centuries later, the boundary between Neath Port Talbot and Swansea follows almost exactly the same line.

Potential burial cairns

It is thought the stone pre-dates this Medieval era by quite some time. Potentially a few thousand years. Cadw (Welsh Government’s historic environment service) believe “The monument comprises the remains of a standing stone, which probably dates to the Bronze Age (c. 2300 – 800 BC). The stone is a monolithic slab of local sandstone with a rectangular base 1.2m by 0.6m and rising 4.3m high to a blunt point.” The sheer effort which it would have taken to move and put this stone into position is incredible. It would have required an organised, clever and civilized society. And a real desire and purpose. So, what was that purpose and who were these people?

Stone Clues on Mynydd Drumau There are other examples of bronze age settlements across the hill tops. All of which can help date the activity and hopefully give an idea as to why and who. Cadw say “There is a strong probability of the presence of intact burial or ritual deposits, together with environmental and structural evidence. Standing stones are often part of a larger cluster of monuments and their importance can further enhanced by their group value. The scheduled area comprises the remains described and areas around them within which related evidence may be expected to survive.” In fact, in 1695, one cist was first recorded by Edward Llwyd when it apparently still retained a revetment circle of large stones. An excavation in the early 19th century produced ‘a heap of bones and an ancient celt, very much corroded’. You do not need to be a historian to appreciate and to realise the potential monuments. In most fields, there are questions. There are numerous examples of small Cairns, burial chambers and potentially the remains of a large stone circle. These large Stones are all on one field (right). Placed in a irregular shape but similar distance apart. Importance of Mynydd Drumau Cadw call the area “of national importance for its potential to enhance our knowledge of prehistoric burial and ritual practices. It is an important relic of a prehistoric funerary and ritual landscape and retains significant archaeological potential.” Local Area This is not the only local area which appears to have a rich Ancient history. Carn Llechart, is a stone circle near Pontardawe dated to around 1500 BC. Which is within the timescale Cadw suggest there was activity here. Our understanding of Wales during this time has changed over recent decades and even more so in the last few years. The previous belief was of a hostile era where ‘foreign’ tribes were constantly at war. However, it is now understood that it was far more peaceful, with regular trade and communications between not only fellow Welsh tribes or even British tribes but from tribes from parts of mainland Europe and Ireland as well. This change in our understanding of Bronze Aged Wales adds further possibilities to our site between Bryncoch and Birchgrove and of who built it.

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Change of thoughts Over the last two hundred years, science has slowly proved that Buckland was incredibly wrong. Pretty much as wrong as he could possibly be. It is possible that the skeleton was a prostitute or a witch but we are certain that these bones It was in 1822 that Daniel Davies and the Rev John Davies are male. found an intriguing discovery between Port Eynon and Rhossili. Initially stating ‘Animal bones, including the ‘tusk The most recent estimate, thanks to carbon dating has the of an elephant’ in a limestone cave. skeleton at 33,000 years old, nearly ten times older than at first thought. It looks like he was around before Noah and The Talbot family of Penrice Castle were informed (who his arc. else would you want to tell?) about the discover of “bones of elephants” on 27 December 1822. William Buckland, It is a fine example of how religion held science back in Professor of Geology at Oxford University arrived on 18 some fields for centuries. From the ancient Greeks and the January 1823 to search some more. He spent a week at stars to caves in the Gower. Logically, if you are to believe Goat’s Hole (the name of the limestone cave). wholeheartedly that there was a great flood that covered the whole planet in 2348 BC, then no such ‘shrine’ could Skeleton remain intact from before then. He spoke about his findings in his book:I found a skeleton enveloped by a coating of a kind of The remains were not of bones but were fossils, the tusks ruddle … which stained the earth, and in some parts were not of elephants but of mammoths. To give you a extended itself to the distance of about half an inch [12 sense of how old this is (because numbers don’t always mm] around the surface of the bones … Close to that part work) at the time of the burial, this cave, which is now on of the thigh bone where the pocket is usually worn the Gower coast was 70 miles from the sea. surrounded also by ruddle [were] about two handfuls of the Nerita littoralis [periwinkle shells]. At another part of Gower with no sea the skeleton, viz in contact with the ribs [were] forty or fifty It is difficult to comprehend that there were 70 miles of fragments of ivory rods [also] some small fragments of land under the sea which 33,000 years ago men like this rings made of the same ivory and found with the rods … skeleton were walking on, hunting on and making Both rods and rings, as well as the Nerite shells, were jewellery on. stained superficially with red, and lay in the same red substance that enveloped the bones The finding is still dubbed ‘The Red Lady of Paviland’. Modern day Bone protein analysis indicates that he lived The skeleton he speaks of was human and Buckland on a diet of between 15% and 20% fish. Considering the believed it to be a Roman woman that ‘could not be older distance from the sea, this suggests that this early human than the Biblical Great Flood’ (2348 BC). Buried with may have been semi-nomadic, or that the tribe transportdecorative items including seashell necklaces and ed the body from a coastal region for burial. jewellery thought to be made out of elephant ivory, it is incredible to think that nearly 200 years ago there were The site is the oldest known ceremonial burial in Western experts discovering skeletons dyed in red and were Europe and is on our very doorstep. It is also the earliest decorated with jewellery 4,000 years ago. Buckland went modern human found in Britain. further and stated that the woman would have either been a prostitute or a witch. The humans race has been clever for a long time, and we have always been curious. In 1822 we were every bit as curious and adventurous as we are today, and The Gower was a gem to explore.

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CARDIFF 0 - 4 SWANSEA FROM THE CARDIFF FANS VIEW.......

It is a little over a month since our double win over our lovely neighbours. We have all celebrated and seen the local scenes of jubilation. But I think it would be nice to see the same from the other side. This is the build-up and the reaction from the Cardiff City forum. Enjoy!

THE PRE-MATCH “No better day to wear my new trainers, sun is shining and I can see a 2-0 win on the horizon” (I ‘d love to know whether he kepy them after the game. Nice socks too!) “Think we’ll do them to be fair but would snap your hand off for a 0-0 bore draw now if offered. They’ll have all the ball no doubt but hopefully we can hit them with our press. Birmingham battered them the other day and they’re rubbish.” (That 0-0 looks a good result now doesn’t it!) I spoke to a few Jacks before the game on Thursday and they weren't particularly confident. Pressure is off them though. One advantage the Jacks have had in recent years has been young and/or local players who are bang up for the game. That should be our advantage this time round. 3-0 City on goals but they will win the all important possession states 30%-70% (in fairness, he was right about something. We did win the possession stats!)

THE PLANET SWANS TAKE-OVER - AT LEAST THEY WON SOMETHING..... “On Planet Swans it allows non-members to vote as well I think, I just went on there and voted Cardiff to win.” “I voted 94 times.” “Be churlish not to support an opposition forum wherever possible” “yes i voted as well” “Me too” “Not limiting that vote to members is asking for trouble” (They must be so proud...............)

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MORE BUILD-UP........ “Let them have their ‘possession’ and aimlessly tap it across the back and smash them on the counter. I’m confident we’ll score a couple.” “The fact I'm so confident worries me but the attitude recently has been spot on and we have players who really get the derby now. We're going to be a very different proposition to what the Jacks have gotten used to” “Same here, I'm anxious because I'm so relaxed, but 3-1 my prediction...” “2-0 for me, and preferably an early goal to ramp up the atmosphere bigly”

THE GAME. 1-0, First half, half time BTW the language gets slightly worst here...... “Well that was too fucking easy for them.” “What a tackle from Ng to stop them going 2 up.” “We’re dog shit” “Fucking big crowd and we're not even going to give them something to cheer about today.” “The game plan isn’t working. Something needs to change at half time. Davies on for Harris would be a good start. What the fuck is it with us and derbys, we never seem up for them anymore. Fucking awful first half”

And 2-0.............

“Swansea are about to do the double on us.” “What a fucking shambles. Morison out!” “Goodnight” “Brings on our most creative attacking players when we’re 2-0 down. Clueless”

And 3-0............. “OH FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF” “FFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK OOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF” “MORISON OUT!!!” “Terrible performance embarrassing. The day we needed it we shit ourselves. Never get our fans back with that performance.”

And then 4-0............. “This takes the piss. FOUR FUCKING NIL” “Embarrassing god help us next season. ” “They have been miles better than us in most derby games I can remember in the last 15 years. Always struggle against their style of play.” Mind your language Cardiff city fans!!!

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IS SU E

THE POST-MATCH “I would sack Morison like a dog for that shit , left as soon as that 4th went in, formation is a bag of shit, Ralls was bloody awful and kept him on absolutely humiliating” Erm... didn’t you sack Mick after the last time we beat you? Think the problem is bigger than the manager! “I’m retiring from being a City fan for a while” “Think that's me done with football until August. Goodnight” “Poor tactics and team selection lost that for us today. Inexcusable.” “We’ve just made a very poor Jacks team look like sodding Brazil.” Can we play you every week? “Even Mick gave them more of a game”

“Out thought out battled and out played. No tactics whatsoever. When was the last time we turned up at a Derby match? It’s as though most of them don’t care” “We were fucked from the start, with a weird set up that looked to be in place because we were playing those fucking idiots. We know they fuck about at the back for ages, so what did we do. Let them have it at the back for ages, and backed off them the whole time, even to the edge of the box. Where was out high press which has worked well against such teams? We did better at Liverpool against these absolute amateurs. When we did start doing that in the 2nd half, their arses went and were knocking it long or out of touch. What an absolutely abysmal and weak way to concede the 100 year old Derby record. Think of all those heroes over those 100 years involved in fighting for and defending that record. Absolutely gutted here right now This one is really hard to take. I have had a jack friend on at me crowing which is annoying but managed not to bite. When the dust settles morison is going to have to clear a lot of these players out and the ones he wants to keep may have to accept what is on offer. This is the only positive I can think of on an embarrassing day.” “Every time we play Swansea, we are like rabbits in the headlights. Why? This is arguably one of the worst Swansea teams we've faced in 12 years. But, they've beaten us 4-0 and 3-0. The early goal was a killer, but why do we never press them? They struggle when they are pressed, and hurried. We didn't do that. Again. The game definitely means more to their players than ours. And, I think there is a reason. There is a definite culture at Swansea that this is the game they must win, for the fans. We lost that culture 20 years ago, with the bullshit of "little brothers". Hammam created a real monster when he kept belittling them. The problem is, this game means a lot to us. And sometimes we lose perception. Losing 1-0 to Swansea can be equal to losing 3 games 5-0 to other clubs. Shame this message never gets to the changing rooms. Or, if it does, it is given in such a way that our players are shit scared. That is not a good Swansea team. It's not a good City team either. They will struggle for the next 3-4 games, as they tend to every time they win this one. From Dave Jones changing tactics completely when we were steamrolling everyone, right up to Mick McCarthy last year and Morison today, we are losing these games before they kick off” “Ever since the myth of the "Swansea way" was born, we have been psychological beaten into being embarrassed to be on the pitch doing the things we are good at. Press them, and they don't have the players of 5-10 years ago to play it out and hit you on the counter. They will hit it long, they play percentages. But, yeah, let's let them pass around for 5 minutes and look like Barcelona. They are shit, but so were our tactics. Again. We badly need a fist pumper on the pitch, riling up the fans. We used to hate Tate, Trundle, Pratley and others - not because they were good, but they got under our skin. Who from our team would you say Swansea fans hate, or which of our team get under their skin? I'm scratching my head, and can't name one. Not one.” “They ran rings around our forward players. The speed of their short passing, instant control and understanding where their team mates were in defence was far too good for our boys. It made our press look non-existent. I would never want a City team to pay like Swansea, but on the day, they were the better team from the off, as was evident when they carved us open inside 25 seconds. So you can shove your mare up your backside”

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“I'm going to get it non stop next week on Swansea dock. All the swim away shiton: all the crappy jokes. Yes it's only a g it's annoying all the banter. They carp on three or four timesMac as much as we do when we win.Laptops Wouldn't be so bad if w Apple Computers, iPads, iPhones, & Tablets least put up a fight. The players haven't got to work with Jack bastardsGames all week. We have. Wish they'd remember tha Console Repairs

Electrical Supplies ££ WE BUY, FIX & SELL ££ INSTANT CASH!! Electronics “I was glad I had plans directly after the game yesterday, it was my kids' birthday and we had a restaurant reservatio Specialist Lighting the new Batman film to watch after that so I was able to put the result out of my mind.” Disco/Party “Just neverProducts saw that coming. We were on the way up, they were on the way down. The double was on the line but I th our lads had it in them to do the job so I wasn't worried. Nervous, but not worried.” DJ Equipment Hiring “That was worst nightmare territory yesterday, we didn't get screwed by a ref, we didn't have injured players, we just PAT Testing excuses - we lost the double record because Swansea were better than us.” 10% OFF: for Swansea City Supporters “That is exactly the negative reaction the Swansea lot would be hoping to provoke.” YEP!!!! :) Small Repairs “You can be disappointed about losing to our rival neighbours without Hardware Farming only the BEST Welsh wallowing in it though.” Produce since 1878 Ironmongery That double record is gone forever now, it's theirs, I don't think it's "pathetic" or being a "poofter" to be disappointed despite what @TDA 55c Swansea Market Small Electrical Products thinks. HUGH PHILLIPS

“It’s gutting and a natural reaction especially for the posters on here who have to work or have any involvement with Jacks in their EAT day to INday lives,but unlike, one off winner take all matches,we get aOR chance TAKEto put it right. next pseason as they like us are going nowhere,at least until next AWAY season anyway. And hopefully we will at last get an acceptable performance from our lot”

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Relax in the Quiet Corner I hoped that you laughed at these all as much as I did :) of Swansea Market

“The score line was humiliating, but the worst thing about the game for me was how much better their players looked in possession of the ball and the fact they always had a couple of options, which is simply good movement off the ball. They made us look like a non league team by comparison at times.” “Getting stuffed 4-0 at home by your fiercest rivals is right up there for me” Me too!!! :) “I'm not saying this cause of what's happened today but I've started to lose interest in football altogether the past few weeks due to other things going on and I didn't fancy us today and today just confirmed it's not worth the emotional investment anymore I wasn't even angry just past caring this club will not go anywhere until a complete change is made at the top. That's all I got to say.” “I was a bit wary of catching the ‘rona, so decided not to risk it and stayed home. One of my better decisions” “I'm going to get it non stop next week on Swansea dock. All the swim away shit all the crappy jokes. Yes it's only a game but it's annoying all the banter. They carp on three or four times as much as we do when we win. Wouldn't be so bad if we at least put up a fight. The players haven't got to work with Jack bastards all week. We have. Wish they'd remember that.”

THE NEXT DAY

“I was glad I had plans directly after the game yesterday, it was my kids' birthday and we had a restaurant reservation and the new Batman film to watch after that so I was able to put the result out of my mind.” “Just never saw that coming. We were on the way up, they were on the way down. The double was on the line but I thought our lads had it in them to do the job so I wasn't worried. Nervous, but not worried.” “That was worst nightmare territory yesterday, we didn't get screwed by a ref, we didn't have injured players, we just have no excuses - we lost the double record because Swansea were better than us.” “That is exactly the negative reaction the Swansea lot would be hoping to provoke.” YEP!!!! :) “You can be disappointed about losing to our rival neighbours without wallowing in it though.” That double record is gone forever now, it's theirs, I don't think it's "pathetic" or being a "poofter" to be disappointed despite what @TDA thinks. “It’s gutting and a natural reaction especially for the posters on here who have to work or have any involvement with Jacks in their day to day lives,but unlike, one off winner take all matches,we get a chance to put it right. next pseason as they like us are going nowhere,at least until next season anyway. And hopefully we will at last get an acceptable performance from our lot” “Somehow they've completely got our number as yesterday showed. Made good players look average. They're not any better than us - they were only 3 points ahead of us before kick off after we beat a 100 year plus record for consecutive losses. What they do have is some hoodoo over us in Derby games. They were much better than us all over the pitch yesterday” “I feel like we've been due a real hammering off Swansea for a long time. We have never got to grips with playing against them. The only time I remember us being comfortable against them was the dire 1-0 win over them in the Premier League. I actually feel like it could have been a lot worse.” I hoped that you laughed at these all as much as I did :)

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QUALITY OF SEX IN NEATH EXPECTED “TO DECLINE” WITH NEATH WORKIES CLOSURE Sexologist Amanda Mount fears the closure of Neath Workies could have a detrimental effect on society in Neath. She said “Neath workies on a Friday night gave the perfect opportunity for teenagers to practice their sex education on incredibly grateful older ladies.” “The experience these juveniles would receive would stand them in good stead. Taking this opportunity away could mean that some boys in Neath will need to wait another couple of years before losing their virginity.” However, Miss Mount is also concerned there could be further effects. “It would also be fair to expect teen pregnancy to soar. Essentially, this club gave the opportunity for young men to experiment with women who had passed child baring age. There was no risk of unwanted children. Without this haven, it seems likely that more young women will get pregnant.” Neath workies was well known as ‘the parachute club’ (because everyone is there for a ‘jump’). It attracted people from all over the valleys with a strict dress code of ‘gold chains for men and no nickers for women’.

Practice Makes Perfect Neath Workies

Amanda Mount worries that its closure could lead to further issues. “Sex is like anything, the more you practice, the better you get. Places like Neath workies gave a fantastic opportunity for people to fool around, have some casual, no strings fun and experiment. Taking this away will inevitably lead to a decline in the quality of sex in Neath.” “The effects of losing this could cause more anti-sociable behaviour. More frustration in both sexes. A general decline in moral in the Town”. One positive note mentioned is that there could be a decline in the number of extra marital affairs although Amanda sees another side. “On the one hand, less affairs sounds a good thing. However, men tire of sex earlier in life than women do. Take a 70-year-old couple. The man is often happy with a once-a-year fondle. Whilst women still have that desire. This is why you would regularly see 70 year old women going home with 17 year old boys from Neath workies.” “This once-a-week release would keep some couples together. Taking that release away is an experiment. Personally, I think the council should fight to keep the club. It serves as a vital part of the community.”

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SH!T YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!! You need to get through this whole article. It could change your life! Quantum physics. Who doesn’t love a bit of quantum physics hey? It is always a constant discussion around every dinner table!! That is my very British and shit sarcasm there, it is a strange form of communication isn’t it, it isn’t a great surprise that the rest of the world look at us with a bizarre confused look every time we think we are being clever by saying things which are not in fact as they are.... which is quite fitting when it comes to quantum physics. So quantum physics isn’t at the centre of most discussions we have, that’s a fair thing to say and mainly because it is immensely confusing, complicated and it is believed that you have to be a genius to understand it and this is a myth.............. because not even geniuses understand it!! But anyone and everyone should know and revel in the absolute beauty that is the slit experiment, if you are unaware of it then prepare to be amazed, you will not believe my words, you will soon google it, youtube it and you still won’t believe it, I am excited for your journey!!! I’m going to skip huge amounts of it because I don’t understand most of it and trying to reword professors lingo into something suitable for this magazine which you read while having a pint or a shit or both at the same time isn’t likely to work so here’s the jest of it:If you picture a wall which has another wall behind it. If you were to put a slit into the first wall so that you could see straight through to the second wall, if you then shot a paintball gun at the wall, aiming towards the slit. Those paintballs that went through the slit in the first wall would make a paint shape on the second wall which would look like a slit; oddly enough. All with me thus far? Now, imagine if there were two slits, if you shot in the same way then you’d be perfectly right in thinking that there would be two slits on the back wall! Simple... but the problem (or beauty) with this isn’t when we use paintballs........ Now, if we were to use electrons (which is matter) then we’d expect the same thing and in the first experiment this is the case. If we were to shoot electrons through a single slit then they would appear in a slit shape on the wall behind. However, if we were to add the second slit then something weird happens because the result is a ‘wave’ shape.

The wave shape is very well named in fairness as it resembles a wave and this is because..... it is one. If you could imagine flowing water moving through these two slits then when the water passes through the slits they will then react with one another the other side and push waves across the wall behind (you’ll see this better when you youtube it after googling it!!). So electrons behave like waves, once pushed through the slits they react with other electrons which results in a wave pattern; purely fascinating, aren’t you glad you read this!! Don’t worry, this gets much better!!!!! What scientists then wanted to look at was what would happen if you were to send one electron at a time, so they couldn’t react with another one; surely they must then behave like we’d have expected in the first place? But no. As the electrons fire (individually) through the two slits, then they begin to show the same wave patterns sign. I’ll stress once more that nobody knows why!! This is totally weird, alien and unlike anything that we know in the ‘normal world’ and it gets a lot weirder!!! This totally confused scientists, it cannot logically be the case! It is as if the individual electrons split themselves, go through both slits at the same time and then react with itself the other side and only decides where it is when hitting the back wall; mental!!! And yet true....... Now for the really, really, really mental bit!!!! You ready for this???? Scientists then set up an experiment so that they could see which one of the slits each electron actually went through, a camera which would show which one it passed. Now imagine a crazy reality answer to this! Have a few seconds to think about what could possibly be the most insane reality we could get to right now.... you ready? Bet the actual reality is more mental than what you just imagined!!! When the scientists did this, when they did exactly the same double split experiment but looked at the electrons before they went through the slits then the electrons behaved as they should have from day one... there was no wave pattern, the electrons simply behaved like normal matter, like paintballs. The fact that electrons were being ‘watched’ changed the way that they behaved! You will now google this and then youtube it and you still won’t believe it, as I said at the start but this is the most magical, immensely crazy discovery I know of. Everything you see, everyone you know, every object you hold, every distant star, every atom in the universe contains elections.... and electrons behave differently (fact!!) if they are being ‘watched’. Einstein was a sceptic who once told a Quantum physicist ‘are you telling me that the moon ceases to exist if nobody is watching it’ to which the physicist simply replied with ‘are you telling me it does?’. Enjoy the wonderful world of Quantum Physics!! I hope you get as carried away with it as I did but please remember that nobody understands it so don’t in anyway be put off by the fact that you don’t; that is the pure beauty of it!!

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JORDI GOMEZ INTERVIEW (2020) Jordi was the exact player that we needed in his sole season with us. He offered flair, creativity and goals from that number ten position and linked up so well with those around him. Much is said about the negative tactics of Sousa which saw us a shadow of the side creatively the previous season but losing Jordi was huge. He joined Martinez at Wigan, won the FA cup and proved to be a genuine Premier League player. Before lockdown, 2 years back, I spoke with him in Cyprus (he was in Cyrpus, I wasn’t! sadly), here is what he had to say:You moved to Swansea from Espagnol, what was your first thoughts of the club? It was a good club, obviously there were a few Spanish players there which helped me. Andrea Orlandi was there and other Spanish players, it was my first time out of Spain but it was good. The other Spanish players made it so easy to adapt, it was nice. I always say it was one of my best times. The city I liked. I liked the people and obviously the football we were playing. The philosophy suited me a lot it was perfect. You liked the city. The weather? The weather was not good obviously, I didn’t mind it though. It didn’t bother me, I enjoyed it. It was nice to play football in. Now I’m in Cyprus and it is too hot. In Swansea, the weather was perfect for football. How much of an influence was Roberto Martinez in you joining Swansea? Of course, Roberto was there. I didn’t know a lot about it, he said he wanted me there. I didn’t think a lot about it at all. A perfect possibility for me to go to England and there was no decision to make, I wanted to go. The Spanish players were there and so it was a very easy decision. Normally when you make a change then there are lots of decisions but it was incredibly easy for me. Roberto said that he wanted me to go and I went. Did you know him beforehand? No. Obviously I knew Andrea Orlandi from our time in Barcelona B and it was for one year but I didn’t know Roberto at that time. It was good though, really good times. The fans took to you instantly and especially after the goal against Cardiff, what was that game like for you? To be honest I didn’t know about the rivalry, I was not aware of it. It was the first game that I was playing from the start, I think it was anyway. At the moment, I didn’t realise how important it was but after that I realised. A massive win. Had you played in a game with that intensity before? Before that game no. That was the best atmosphere I had played for. The best game, it was nice, normally in these games you think about it beforehand but at that time because I didn’t know the rivalry then I didn’t think about anything before the game. I just thought that it was normal, I didn’t realise that there was anything special but afterwards then it was obvious and it was a great game, amazing atmosphere and brilliant to be a part of it.

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We just missed out on the play-offs, did you want to stay? Yes, I said it was a great year for me personally and for the team as we nearly got to the play offs. At that moment I wanted to stay, I adapted to life here in Swansea but I was a player for Espagnol and then the opportunity came to go to Wigan with Roberto but for some moments I wanted to stay there in Swansea. That what was in my mind, I just wanted to stay, I said to my family and to my agent and to everyone that I wanted to stay in Swansea. It was the perfect year for me and at that moment I wanted it to continue. There is a belief here that Martinez left because the club wouldn’t pay the money to sign you, do you know anything about that? No. I don’t know anything about that. The truth is that if Roberto would have stayed then I probably would have stayed there. He called me when he was at Wigan and said that he wanted me to go there. I went to Wigan eventually but Swansea is one of the places I enjoyed most my football. I always look back with fond memories of the club, city and that year which I had there. As you said, Martinez went to wigan and you joined him there. I assume you have no regrets as you had some great times there? Yeah of course, I was given the opportunity to get premier league football and I could not say no. It was a good decision. I won the FA cup, 4 or 5 years in Premier League and then had the chance to go to Sunderland, at the time I thought it was the right time for me. It was nice to get the FA cup trophy, I never expected to win that and so it was obviously fantastic to win. Do you have plans for after football? management? At the moment, I’m just thinking about playing and after I’ve finished I will see how I feel. Whether I will want to be a coach or whatever I want to be. I’ll decide that once I finish, I will sit down and think and see what I want to be but at the moment I’m just enjoying playing football. Could we see you back at Swansea one day? I don’t know. I don’t think about it. As I said, once we finish then we will see. The older I get the more interesting I have in terms of getting into coaching or managing. People asked me do I want to be a coach and I have always said no, but the older I get the more I think about it. A massive thanks to Jordi for taking his time to speak to me and for that incredible year. I remember us getting to the championship and thinking that it was going to be a step too far, survival seemed unlikely but he and the rest of the squad obviously proved otherwise. He was a huge asset that season, twelve goals from midfield, some cracking one’s and obviously that Cardiff free-kick: we will always remember that!

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THE VEGAN REVIEW FINDING RUSSELL THE BEST PLACES TO EAT IN AND AROUND SWANSEA.

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Sort your act out kebab houses of Swansea! I went to Cheltenham this month. Lovely Town, a bit too posh for me, fiver a pint seemed the norm but overall, it was alright. We are always behind the times down here. When I go away, (which isn’t very often) I like to look at what is happening. What is different, what is our future. Swansea is a few years ahead of the valleys but generally things happen in London, a few years later, it arrives in other parts of the UK and a while after that we invent it. We have a top notch manager. I genuinely believe we can have a fantastic season next year but we need to up our game in the kebab houses in order to keep him! In Cheltenham, every kebab house sold falafels. Falafels in a wrap, in pitta or just with a salad. Just think, Russ could go out for a few beers with the lads and then get into a kebab house and order something amazing. C’mon Swansea. Sort it out! This is an appeal. Make them up, stick them in the freezer and stick them on the menu. Just in case our gaffa comes in. Falafel on a kebab menu. You know it makes sense!!!

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THE PUB DEBATE

Should Wales be an independent country??

There are increasing calls for Welsh independence. Recent polls suggest that nearly a third support the idea, compared to less than 10% a decade ago. There is also increasing numbers who are ‘unsure’. So could wales become independent?

NO! by Stephen Wales was a country, in its own right for just 7 years. That’s it. In its entire history, there was just seven years where the whole of Wales was united, and not a part of England in some capacity. The idea that somehow Wales should go back to being a country is based on Scotland which is totally different. Scotland has a long history as a country with kings and queens. Wales does not. Wales is not a country. It is a region of England. Scotland have a claim to independence, a history which they can point to. Wales live in cloud-coo-coo land. The sad truth is that Wales, like other parts of England, doesn’t have the ingenuity to sustain itself. There are very few Towns or villages here which exist without support from English businessmen. That’s the sad fact of it. Without England, industry would have never come to South Wales in the first place. Swansea would not be anything. Swansea exists because Cornish Copper was smelted here. Funded by Businessmen from Bristol. 150 years later and the billion-pound investment which we are seeing in Swansea today comes from England. It is from the financial centre in London. Furlough – England. Track and trace – England. Without the banking industry in the City of London then Wales can expect to be a third world country. Wales are spoilt. 56% of Wales are on benefits. Over half the population. Where do you think this money comes from? It isn’t the other half of people in Wales!! Wales get given billions from England and like a spoilt child, they complain and want more.

Without England then there are no benefits. There will be no NHS. It can expect to decline to a far poorer economy than Greece or Albania, at least they have the weather for growing crops more lucrative than potato. Whatever peoples views on Brexit are, leaving the UK will be a thousand times harder than leaving the EU. The DVLA will be gone! Thousand odd jobs gone there. TATA steel won’t last without UK backing. Few thousand gone there. What could Wales offer anywhere? Wales doesn’t have the weather for tourism, it has no oil, it doesn’t have a well-educated workforce, its education is worse than pretty much anywhere in Europe. Despite all of this, the people here enjoy a comfortable life. It is time that Wales stopped moaning and stopped banging on about this ‘country’ which simply does not exist. It would not last five minutes! Do away with the assembly completely. Get rid of the language. Get rid of the signs. Get rid of the football and rugby teams. It is all a joke. It is time this nonsense which has gone on for too long is put to bed. Wales is not a country, it has less of a claim to becoming one than Cornwall has. Keeping the language and teaching it in school hinder children’s education and their ability to learn something useful. Sticking it on signs and putting everything out in bilingual is pointless, it costs money. If you can’t speak English then you shouldn’t be here. At the end of the day, Wales is England in the same way as Newcastle or Bristol are.

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YES! BY DAI The U.K holds Wales back. However, it has managed to convince many Welsh people that we need them; it is almost like a kind of Stockholm syndrome.

means that the furthest from London we live, the poorer we are, that is until you leave the United Kingdom, then you are suddenly richer.

It was the same in India, the USA, South Africa, Australia and much of the commonwealth. The industrial revolution made the Southeast of England incredibly rich. However, the wealth was not created there, the raw materials were not there, the workforce were not either. They were from across the globe and closer to home in Wales and Yorkshire for example.

Rich Englishmen from the South East bought and brought industry to Northern Ireland which saw mass immigration from the mainland UK. There was money to be made from the industrial North. Little to be gained from the South. Decisions which effected the whole of the UK were not made with Eire in mind. Essentially, Ireland was falling further and further behind. It then gained independence.

However, the rest of the globe, Wales, Yorkshire and pretty much everywhere outside of the South East of England never saw the riches. The coal mine owners, factory owners etc… from Dunvant to Delhi were almost always from the English elite and it was the English elite, almost always based in the South East of England which made the huge profits. Not much has changed today. In 1922, The Republic of Ireland had a GDP per capita of $2,598. The UK had $4,637. So, the average person in Ireland enjoyed just 56% of what someone within the United Kingdom did. One hundred years later, Ireland is the sixth richest country per capita in the world with $76,745. Compared to the United Kingdoms (26th richest) with $44,920. So now, the average person in the UK enjoys just 58% of what they do in Ireland. How did Ireland go from being far poorer than the UK to becoming far richer? The answer is fairly simple; it left the UK. The same rise can be seen in India, Australia and of course the United States after leaving the empire. Not being constrained to the English elite is good for the economy. As a part of the United Kingdom, Ireland was always the least important. The way the United Kingdom has been created

Over the last 100 years, as its own identity, the country has been able to make decisions for itself, for what is best for them. It has had a clear plan; it has marketed itself and is an incredible success story. Would the people of Ireland be enjoying $76,745 per capita if they had remained a part of the UK? Today the GDP per capita for UK is $44,920 but Wales is just $30,526. So the average person in Wales enjoys just 68% of what others in the UK do. Greater London enjoys over double what we do in Wales ($74,202). The union is fixed so that there is a clear pecking order. 200 years ago, London was at the top, followed by the South East of England, then the rest of Great Britain, then Ireland and then the commonwealth; India, Australia, South Africa etc…. Now the empire has long-gone, Ireland has left, the pecking order remains in place but it goes, London, South East of England and then everywhere else in the UK. We are at the bottom of Westminster’s plans. We are not poor because we are stupid or because we are unimaginative or lazy, we are poorer than other parts of the UK, other parts of Europe because we are being held back. Just like Ireland was a hundred years ago and the U.S.A a hundred years before that.

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10 questions about Swansea 1) Christie 2) 6 Minutes 3) True 29 v 11 4) That is also true. 169 v 167 5) 59% (if you thought more then just remember that they kicked off 5 times!) 6) Fisher 7) True. 4 tackles attempted and all won. Only one 8) Cardiff player attempted more (Drameh) but missed some. 8) 0, They never even got that close. 9) 18. That’s a proper centre forward there! 10) 1 – Joel Piroe. Great stat that one 11) Kyle Naughton – That is a sign of domination! Mind Puzzles 1) An apple a day keeps the doctor away! 2) White, since the only place you can do that is the North Pole and polar bears are the only kind of bears that live there 3) The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry. 4) They are pronounced differently when the first letter is capitalized. 5) Pencil lead 6) The river was frozen 7) Love 8) The number 8 9) a calendar 10) on a clock. 8 AM + 8 hours= 4 o’clock 11) Look at the bus — the doors are not visible. This means the passengers would get on the bus from the opposite side. And since we drive on the leftside — the bus is traveling right. Name the pub 1) Alma Inn 2) Boss Brewery Taproom 3) Bonymaen Inn 4) Westbourne Name the Vagina Queen Elizabeth I Whose Cock is that? Sir David Attenborogh

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