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Oh Garry Monk. Just when the doubters were beginning to crawl from behind their hiding places. We then put a few performances together and I can barely hear a moan from even the most idiotic of Swans fan. We have found what we are looking for, I don’t know what it was but we have found it. Most of it is organisation for me. Organisation and a bit of heart and determination, I expect that there are things going on behind the scenes: headphone bans etc… which play a small part but we just look pretty damn good at the moment. It is hard not to get too carried away, I’m looking at our fixtures and with the exception of ‘Citeh’, there are few scary games coming up and there isn’t really much of a reason why we can’t stay where we are until after Christmas. As I said, it is hard not to get too carried away. Are we already at the stage where we would be disappointed with tenth? It is a very different Premier League this year and although I wouldn’t bet against the top four consisting of Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal and United or Liverpool: I don’t think it will.

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There is no ‘big 4’ anymore and I firmly believe that we are one of a number of sides who can totally shock the league and break into it. You would have to say that Southampton are more likely but like them, I feel like we have more to come. We are here on merit and I would argue that we could easily have a few more points.

Football is a game where every fan is an expert and experts don’t like being wrong. We revel in being right, we revel in predicting a result or a players ability correctly and gloating about that and reminding those around us that we ‘knew that would happen’. Sometimes, we have to do the opposite and hold are hands up and say that we made a bad call there. I remember seeing a young Massimo Maccarone in an under 21s match between Italy and England and telling anyone that would listen that he was the next World star. You’d be forgiven for not knowing his name; he had a spell with Middlesboro and then retreated back to Italy a complete flop. Believe it or not, it isn’t my only one. It is what us football fans do, sometimes on a hunch, sometimes because we have seen someone on a good day or a bad day but we make predictions and we generally hope that we are right. Sometimes even if it isn’t what we want. I think I may have been wrong with Massimo Maccarone and I think that those of you who slated Monk getting the job was wrong too and it is time that everyone accepted that and got behind him and the team as we can really go places if we do. Cheers

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Change is not good! Not when you support the best run football club in the country that is. Greed and desire for greater success is inevitable though: Taste a little cup glory and you want more, but at what cost? Talks of foreign investment in the club seem to be gathering pace and I think there is some substance to the rumours even if any talks are in very early stages. The question that leaves us fans with is: would we welcome such a move? Leigh Dineen told Jack Swan magazine at the start of the year that there may come a time where investment is needed for the club to progress, that we cannot continually bat above our means and so it isn’t a great surprise in reality that such talks are on the horizon (supposedly).

American businessperson who has recently fallen in love with ‘Soccer’ makes me uneasy and suspicious. The first thing to remember though is that we aren’t selling; someone is investing and potentially buying. That’s a massive difference. When Tan bought our friends up the road, they were selling. They were desperate. Anybody would do. Quite like it was for us when Petty took over, we needed someone, anyone. That is far from the case now; we must be a very appealing club to invest in. Football is a business and I think that any good business person listens to what is on offer, our board are right to do this: they may well listen and decide that nothing is possible, that the status quo is best for the club.

Leigh also told us that day that any deal would always be what was right for the club and also that the supporters trust would be at the heart of everything and that will never change. There is no way that their share will be up for discussion; I would be amazed if that share reduces in any way in the foreseeable future. It is now the backbone of our club.

I for one, struggle to see what can be on offer which would tempt me into thinking that it would be a good move for the club. I feel that we are in tier three of the Premier league if you like. With tier one being those fighting for the title or in other words: Chelsea. Tier two being those fighting for Champions League and Europa spots and then there is us.

It is an unsettling time though. We have been blessed with having a board that we recognise. Board members who we can approach and that know about the club: love the club, support the club. The idea of this being swapped for some

We can’t get into tier one or two through financial means without ridiculous investment. Quarter of a billion pounds to start off with: it would take that kind of money and even then we’d be

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fighting against the top 6 or 7 clubs for players signatures.

too, and we have already shown this.

I don’t see what we would do in the short term with £50 million for example. I get the feeling that we can currently afford any player that would want to come to us. The only way that we could get a player who doesn’t want to play for us is by offering stupid wages and becoming one of ‘those clubs’.

Our Vice Chairman did give an idea of what any future investment might be used for and mentioned an ‘expansion to the stadium’ as an example. This is a far more appealing approach to me to welcoming any foreign capital. Should we spend that £50 million (which is a totally made up figure by the way) on long term interests, on the stadium and really investing in a youth policy then I’d be all in favour. If we are talking about giving us the best youth system for a seventy mile radius, with scouts looking to pick up talented kids in Ireland, Cornwall, Bristol and the dark land then lets go for it!

If we went down that route, the chances are that within a year or so, we’d have three or four new faces in our squad and would be paying our current group of players 30-40% more in wages than what they are currently on. We’d be a Newcastle of sorts. I hear what Leigh Dineen said. I understand it; we are still a small fish in the Premier League, despite our success in it. But there is more than one way to skin a cat (strange saying that one isn’t it) and our ethics and stability has got us where we are now and I think that we are still progressing. I may be being a foolish romantic right now but I do think it is possible for us to break into tier two playing the way we are. Being sensible and running a club well. If you cannot compete in one way, compete in another. We regularly see this on the pitch; Stoke under Pulis couldn’t compete with Arsenal in a pure ‘footballing’ capacity and yet would regularly get points from them. I believe that there are different ways off the pith

But is a foreign investor thinking about how our club will be in ten, fifteen or twenty year’s time or is it a hobby? Is it about seeing a player score who is only at the club because of their millions? I have faith in our board to firstly have our best interests at heart but also to have the nous and the knowhow to find out what peoples intentions are. We may simply have a board member who seeks to sell their share and retire and this could be all that is behind this talk in which case it isn’t such a great big deal but we are far from desperate, we are very well run, we are in incredibly safe hands. Whatever will be, will be for the good of our future: We can be very confident of that!

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With Christmas approaching, I thought I would meet up with forzaSwansea blogger Chris Carra to talk about his debut book which is out and ready to be bought in time for Christmas. I would like it noted that he has proof read this interview, I don’t think that he can help himself!!!

played it, that sort of thing. I find the format really allows you to dip in and out of the book.

What's the book about?

We were talking about Jack Swan being a fantastic toilet read earlier on, and this could be something which you leave by the bog?

The book is called Swansea City's Greatest Games and delivers what it says on the cover – 50 of the Swans' finest ever matches, from 1912 right up until last season. It essentially covers promotion winning matches, great individual efforts, massive score lines and generally great games. It' got a great foreword by the legendary Alan Curis and there are some exclusive interviews with Lee Trundle and Roger Freestone. And there hasn’t been anything like this before has there? Well, there have been some brilliant books on the history of Swansea City FC but this focuses specifically on the individual games. There are 50 games, 50 chapters. It is kind of like a match report from each game but more in-depth, and it looks at the context the match was

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Yeah, the perfect toilet book! It can be dipped in and out of, with each chapter able to be read in about ten minutes. When did you start writing the book? It was February this year that the book was commissioned and I started immediately. It took me about 5 months to complete, including research and writing. You clearly did an awful lot of research for the earlier games, if you could have gone back in time and watched any of the 50 games, which one would you chose? I think the 1964 FA Cup semi final against Preston North End at Villa Park would have been a great one to watch – even though Swansea lost that day to two freak goals, it was a massive occasion for the club. I think half of the town had travelled to Birmingham for it! Otherwise I'd have liked to have seen some of the games from the 80's. The First Division promotion-winning match against Preston or the 5-1 thrashing of Leeds perhaps. The book has an ‘era’ feel to it, where the text in the early games feel more 1920’s than in the modern game. Was this deliberate? Good question! It wasn't something I set out to do, but as I began putting the book together I found the earlier chapters warranted earlier language – there are a few words in there you no longer see in the match reports of today. But as we move through the years up to 2014 the language changes a bit – we start using modern day phrases and even a hashtag or two in the Twitter era!

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What is the game that you left out which people mention the most? I was surprised that Bury wasn’t in there and the last game at the Vetch missed the cut too? Someone asked me that at the book launch as well. There are loads of games I had to cut, mainly because I had to cram 50 great games from 102 years and it had to be balanced. There just wasn't room to fit them all in! One that people mention the most is the FA Cup win against Manchester United last season. That was certainly one on the maybe pile!

and Brentford. But it is strange as you think that the first ever game would be full of players which were all from Treboeth, St Thomas, Morriston and so on. But they had so little time they just needed to get proven players from wherever they could. I think after a couple of years it had sorted itself out and we eventually did have the local players joining the team. That was a game I’d love to gone to, the first ever one.

Yeah there were around 8,000 people at the first game and a lot of these fans didn’t really know the game, but the next year the Swans won a trophy and fans lined the I found it amazing that so few players local to Swansea streets to welcome them home. Very much like our were in our first ever line-up. Much is made of today's promotion to the Premier League! foreigners in the game and although the side was They were the plastics of the day! So are you pretty made up of players from the British Isles, it was far good at remembering the facts you researched, are from a local team? you now the biggest expert on Swansea City’s 102 year history? Yeah, for the very first game in 1912, we only had one Swansea boy in the team – Willie Messer who was scouted Definitely not: no. I can’t say that I’m the biggest expert as from a game at Morriston. They had so little time to put the side together, only a month or so, and so there was no there as so many fans who can just reel it off. You see time to scout local players. Instead they needed to grab a people on Twitter and they reel it off like they are machines, but I certainly know more than I did at the handful of players and veterans from places like Exeter

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start, writing the book was a real eye opener.

through those matches?

You cover a lot of games under the Toshack spell, the Leeds match is probably the most famous one. Do you think that will ever be done again? Bottom league to the top that quickly?

I think that there is more hatred now, you see it with social media and the way the fans talk to one another. Whereas the first match, and early on, when Swansea went to the semi finals of the FA Cup, Cardiff would send congratulations and Cardiff fans would come watch Swans matches and cheer us on. There wasn’t much of a rivalry back then, but it grew. Then in the 80s and 90s came and all the hooliganism, but thankfully we don’t see that any more. I wish that I could draw it for you (like a graph) as it kind of went up and then its gone down a bit now as there isn’t the violence that there was.

For Swansea? Definitely not, as I can’t see them going back down there unless something tragic happens. Some side did it quite recently – Brighton maybe? – they did the two promotions but I think to do that extra one is difficult. I think someone will do it again but the style that the Swans did it under Toshack was unbelievable and I'm not sure any other team could replicate that. Between 1982 and 1994 there were no great games. Was this our darkest long term spell as a club? There was a couple of eras where I struggled to find some great games and there were plenty of dark times for Swansea. I struggled to find amazing games during the 1950s because although we had some great players like Ivor Allchurch, Len Allchurch and Mel Charles, they were just really poor at times. They would win a game like 7-0 and then they would lose five on the bounce and almost get relegated! There were a lot of bad eras in the Swans history but I think the late 80s must have been one of the darkest times, especially after the rise before it. No fewer than 8 of the 50 matches featured are against them up the M4. How has the derby changed

It's hard to get the right balance isn’t it, as we want some sort of passion and hatred but clearly not the kicking people's heads in bit? Exactly. We don’t want snooker balls being thrown but we do want a bit of passion, as it adds to the game. Who is our best ever manager? I’d say John Toshack, just because of the way he raised Swansea from the bottom to the top so quickly. He was the most enjoyable to write about as well as he would hold no punches and would tell it as it is. He would tell the press that someone wasn’t playing very well and then they would up their game and put in some improved performances. He was a young manager as well. Brendan Rogers was a great manager but then he didn’t last too long. Then there were guys like Trevor Morris and Billy McCandless, but for me it has to be John Toshack. Who is our best ever player?

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we are likely to get back in to the Eurpoa League in the Someone asked me that at the book launch in front of 70 odd people and I was put on the spot. Ivor Allchurch next couple of years and actually challenge for the cup. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think there has been a better time for the Swans. I seems like he has been the best player, after talking to know we look at the 80s in comparison, but now just pips people who saw him and also seeing some of his it as we have the big money, stadium expansion and so incredible goals on videos. Lee Trundle was fantastic on: so yes, this is definitely the best time. and he was a breath of fresh air when he came to the club in 2003. The players now like Wilfried Bony are Your blog ForzaSwansea.com won the Best Sports great, he is like a machine compared to the boys in the No Hassle - book a nomines obliga on appointment of our a me that you, inexpert Wales local 2012:consultants you have at released this suits book, what 20sâ&#x20AC;˘ who may work in the during the day andwith oneBlog even evenings and weekends is next? then play an evening match. But over the 102 years I â&#x20AC;˘ Nogo Fuss fromAllchurch survey towith installa on, our professional would for-Ivor Lee Trundle as a close local team will take care of everything for you. I have a second bookfor coming next year, second. â&#x20AC;˘ No Worries - all our products have industry leading guarantees, some even life. Soout thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one lesswhich thing is tothe Swansea City Miscellany â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a book full of stats, facts, stories worry about. and trivia from the last century or so. This is one which I And Leon Britton? have wanted to do for a while and so that is one thing I'm SPECIAL working on now.WEEKEND I do a bit of writing work for a couple of Of course, Leon Britton is another of the very best. A Pontardawe magazines, including some local to onesSwansea like Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On. I very close third. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been with the club so long and is a newspaper I notice you've consistently brilliant. But Allchurch and Trundle had the also write for the Metro... ÂŁ15 One Way that - Car just used to crop the table up? flair and the goals â&#x20AC;&#x201C; real fan favourites.

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struggle to update my blogs regularly these days, especially Forza Swansea. It’s been great as I won the award and it lead to me getting this book out, but it is just difficult finding the time to write something meaningful. There are some other great Swans blogs out there too, like Scott with The Swansea Way, but it is hard to write every day.

Swansea City's Greatest Games is available now from Waterstones, WHSmiths, HMV, Tesco and online at Amazon.co.uk. Chris will be signing copies at Swansea Waterstones on Tuesday, December 9th (check ChrisCarra.com for details).

I also struggle to write when we are doing well, it is easy to write when we aren't doing great. When I started the blog, one of the first games I wrote about was us throwing away a 3-0 lead or something like that and it was so easy to write about it and have a good moan. Then I was writing about us getting to the Premier League and all the stumbling blocks in between. It's great as that is all recorded but now we need something to complain about! When Laudrup was gone we could ask questions and when they flirted with relegation last year we had plenty of ammo! But now we know that Monk is the right man for the job, it is difficult. As a published author, what do you think of the spelling, punctuation and grammar in Jack Swan magazine? As I said, I think it’s great that you can put it out there like that as people still read it and it shows that you don’t always need the greatest spelling and punctuation. I really enjoy it and I’m really fickle when it comes to proof reading and editing – I wouldn’t put anything out unless I had checked it was right three or four times over. I spent maybe four months writing the book and another month or so editing and proof-reading it, checking that there wasn’t anything out of place and everything was perfect. Jack Swan: everyone loves it, so don’t change it – don’t get proof read! You haven’t read the posts on planet Swans then!!

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I have never been a hooligan, I like to think that I had too much of a brain for that but I must admit that I loved the hostility at the Vetch and miss it daily. I have never really got over it either; I have never taken to the Liberty and a lot of the ‘new fans’ who go there. I get angry at the lack of passion, the commercial side of it and I hate to say it but almost the ‘friendliness’ about it: Where is the anger? Where is the anti-English chants? Where is the club I fell in love with all those years ago? Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved the club. Supporting a football club isn’t really an option, it is often a curse which will hang over you until the day you die, no matter what happens to you or the club, it will always be a part of you whether you like it or not. You can’t simply swap from Spurs to Ipswich to Swansea depending on current circumstances (you’d be right if you thought that that was a specific dig at a certain person). There are massive things to be proud of about Swansea City Football Club but there have been things for me which has annoyed me and made me feel as though a large part of it has been taken away from us idiotic Vetch fanatics. I took my three year old daughter to Watch the Arsenal game and all of a sudden it all made sense. She is my eldest child and so I was free and foolish in the Vetch days and in the early days

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of the Liberty. Football wasn’t about families but about getting drunk and letting off some testosterone, shouting abuse at the opposition and farting around pretending that you wanted to fight someone from a safe distance away. That is what I fell in love with. More than the football: the football is a very small part of what actually brings you to watch the game. Much has been said and made about our sexy football and it is sexy: we do play an attractive style to watch but how many of the influx of fans that the club has had over the last decade have come because of out passing ability? The obvious truth is that other factors are far more important in our rise in attendances and that success is by far and away the biggest contributor. I don’t think I appreciated how much the family friendly atmosphere had played in this rise until our demolition of the Gunners. As much as I loved the Vetch, would I really have wanted to drag my three year old daughter to the North Bank? In reality, yes I would have. Maybe not the North Bank and if so then certainly the far left hand side of it but I certainly would have wanted to take her to ‘the football’ but then I, like many had some seriously rose tinted view of the cabbage patch but the vast majority of folks in Swansea could see it for the shambolic shed that it actually was.

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It was a wonderful shambolic shed but I had to visit the toilet on three separate occasions with my little person with a little bladder at the Liberty and one of those times was for a number two and I really wouldn’t have fancied that experience in the little toilet shed at the back of the North Bank at the home of Welsh football.

enough to sit on my lap and so I only needed to shell o for the one ticket which made it only an expensive day out. Should I have needed to buy two tickets then it would have been an insanely overpriced day out or in a cheap day in as there is no way that I could justify spending over a days wage on 90 minutes of football.

Sitting down with my daughter in a stadium with adequate toilets and reasonable language (my bar is quite low on that in fairness) was just comfortably easy. It rained throughout and we not only didn’t get wet, we also didn’t have rust falling on us.

That is still the big issue for me and something which I struggle to get past. F the first time, I can understand and appreciate that the Liberty is ‘better’ in so ways than the Vetch ( that takes a lot for me say). I do now see tha but has it been done i way that it deliberatel prices out the Vetch idiots like me? Is that bad thing? Am I welcome?

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enough to sit on my lap and so I only needed to shell out for the one ticket which made it only an expensive day out. Should I have needed to buy two tickets then it would have been an insanely overpriced day out or in fact a cheap day in as there is no way that I could justify spending over a days wage on 90 minutes of football.

That is still the big issue for me and something which I struggle to get past. For the first time, I can understand and appreciate that the Liberty is ‘better’ in some ways than the Vetch (and that takes a lot for me to say). I do now see that but has it been done in a way that it deliberately prices out the Vetch idiots like me? Is that a bad thing? Am I welcome?

I am fortunate that she is young

This isn’t a unique case. This is modern day British

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football. Some would say it is modern day Britain. Top quality entertainment isn’t for the working classes. The Liberty is almost like a social event, full of business owners being snobby and boasting about their seats. It is almost a competition within the business circle of Swansea. Whether we can create a stadium or a system where I can afford to take my daughter to watch my team whilst not flooding the seats with idiotic Vetch worshipers like me: remains to be seen. Maybe it is a case of either/or in which case maybe the board have got it right. It was the most that I have enjoyed the Liberty since it opened and the actual stadium played a part in that but it is also possible that the major reason was that it was missing people like I was three years ago. I think the days of idiotic single men going to the football lashed up and chanting for ninety minutes have gone and although I generally hate this fact: I’d rather sit next to the snobby owner of D&P Plumbers with my daughter than some drunken idiot like I was. Voodoo Vintage half landscape.ai 1 14/11/2014 14:13:44

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�Ic��e� � �� M�n�� Top Left: Dan Yeoman with a Mr Wayne Routledge. Bottom Left: Lyndsey sends in a picture of the two minutes silence from the posh seats. Bottom Right: Joe Allen gets laughe at Top Right: Mike Jones sends in a picture of Swansea Citys tribute to our fallen heroes.

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I read that there is a huge and unfair gap between what men and women are paid in sport. Is it just me or is this insanely sexist? Not the inequality: The calling it unfair. The reason that male footballers earn insane amounts of money is because there is a massive demand to watch them. The premier league is watched the world over with television companies bending over backwards in order to secure the broadcasting rights which will ensure that millions of customers renew their subscription with that broadcaster. Pretty much every game in the Premier League is a sell out and that demand to watch men’s football continues when you drop out of the top flight. The reason that women footballers earn substantially less than their male counterparts is because we are substantially less interested. We don’t care. There is no market. It isn’t ‘sexist’ and claims like this rile people and make us tune out and then ignore real inequality. There is a British deaf football Cup, these people earn less than those who can hear and play in the FA Cup! Is this discrimination? NO! Nobody wants to watch deaf people playing football unless they happen to be the very best in the world and grace the Premier League. Women’s football is actually really good (as I imagine the

deaf cup is). I have sat down on a number of occasions and watched the Women’s World Cup and the FA Cup final and as a spectacle, it is great. In many ways, it has more going for it than the men’s game, they dive less and actually relish a tackle, and it is like turning the clock back 20 years in the men’s game. It will never be as big as the men’s game though. The men will always be better, stronger, faster and will always be the ultimate. The Women’s game can be far more popular than what it is but it has to earn it, it can’t simply moan about being so far behind the men’s game financially. The men’s game is where it is today because of demand and the Women’s Football Association need to create and exhaust that demand, moaning about it will just play into so many gender stereotypes and cause harm to the game. I don’t agree with equal pay in tennis. I think that it’s wrong. They are entertainers and the men entertain for longer (5 sets) than the women do (3 sets), this is a fact, I actually see the ‘equality’ as sexist: women earn far more pence per minute in Wimbledon than the men do; this isn’t right in my opinion. The argument for equal pay is that both train throughout the year and that the competition is just the end of years of hard work. But I don’t care and I don’t see why the lawn tennis association do. Wimbledon makes its money from

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us, the spectators, whether on television or in the stadium. The BBC don’t have advertising but if I watched the 5 hour final between Federrer and Djokovic on SKY (for example) then the broadcaster will earn far more revenue from advertisements than they would from a 63 minute final that Serena Williams has won with ease. This is where the money comes from. Sport is not like other occupations. There is no divine right to earn money. There is no ‘minimum wage’ as such. If there was then Sunday League footballers across the country are due a huge rebate. I hate to say that Rooney is worth £300,000 a week but technically he is. It is a supply and demand business like any other and the commercial revenue is what drives it. If women footballers want to earn a fraction of Rooney’s millions then they need to find a way to make their game more marketable and lucrative and concentrate on this and not moaning about it. Will it ever happen? Possibly: but not the way that they are going about it. I saw recently that there are talks of the Ryder Cup being amalgamat-

ed with the Solheim Cup. This could be genius and re bring the Women’s golfing game into the lime light. If done right then this could change the future of Wome sport forever and I’d love to see it.

We will never have a football league where teams will need to consist of three women for example (well I bl hope not anyway) but can we get to a point where Swansea City Women’s team play before the men do o Saturday morning? How many fans would get there e to watch that?

I don’t know and to be totally honest: I don’t really car but comparing the wages of both sexes and complain about inequality is a complete joke.

I may have smaller portions of my Sunday dinner for t next few weeks should my mother read this!

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ed with the Solheim Cup. This could be genius and really bring the Women’s golfing game into the lime light. If done right then this could change the future of Women’s sport forever and I’d love to see it. We will never have a football league where teams will need to consist of three women for example (well I bloody hope not anyway) but can we get to a point where Swansea City Women’s team play before the men do on a Saturday morning? How many fans would get there early to watch that? I don’t know and to be totally honest: I don’t really care but comparing the wages of both sexes and complaining about inequality is a complete joke. I may have smaller portions of my Sunday dinner for the next few weeks should my mother read this!

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You may have read that Garry Monk received a letter of criticism from a fan a few weeks ago. Well we can exclusively show you the letter:“Dear Garry Monk, Your useless. You know nothing about football. Please listen to these pointers. Fabianski is useless in goal. Bring Vorm back. Taylor is useless at left back. Bring Alan Tate Back. Fernandez is useless at centre back. Bring Caulker back. Rangel is too old at right back. Bring Sam Rickets back. Ki is too hesitant in midfield. Bring Joe Allen back. Routledge is too useless out wide. Bring Scott Sinclair back. Jonjo Shelvely is too rash. Put Leon in. Sigurdesen is to Icelandic. Bring Dobbie back. Bony is a poor mans Scotland. Bring Scotland back. Those were the days!!!! Thanks Alan Tate”

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I must admit that I find it difficult to see how negative some ‘fans’ are at times. A short memory goes hand in hand with us football fans but then there is some who boarder on the sheer idiotic.

to do this. There were a number of times when he would drop deep when things were going against us and it totally changes our shape and system and we pose little attacking threat like this.

Criticism of Wilfried Bony this season just seems bizarre. A player who we could easily have been relegated without last season and yet criticism drops at his doorstep the moment he goes a few games without finding the back of the net.

I love to see players wanting to get involved, players who want the ball and will search for it if they aren’t getting it but our whole set up evolves around our big man being in the danger area. We need Siggy playing behind him, we need our Ivorian in the box when our wide men break.

I imagine that it is the same fans who bemoaned his start to last campaign after he took slightly longer than some would have wanted to adjust to the Premier League (while carrying an injury).

He can’t keep up with our lightning wingers when he drops back into midfield to help win the ball. He may help us get the ball quicker but what do we do when we have it?

Too quick to criticise but that’s not to say that we can’t comment on him and comment on him I am about to. Like any quality player, he wants to be involved. We would often see Shane Williams come off the wing for Wales when Wales were useless. He’d never see the ball and so would come in field to try and make something happen: Fair enough in that instance, I think, I know nothing about the stupid egg shaped game.

I often complain about it being difficult at times to write a monthly magazine about football as a lot happens in a month and this seems completely irrelevant after our recent performances but I started writing this after the Stoke game and it seemed to be a real issue at the time. Hopefully either this issue has been addressed or we will continue to stay on top and our big man will get enough of the ball up field to keep him happy but I really think that we are in trouble when we see him cross that half way line frequently.

But we can’t allow Bony

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Sending offs are frustrating and they have cost us points and potentially a place in the last 8 of the road to Europe. But is it more frustrating than players being half-hearted? I know I’m in danger of backing Monk too much, defending his every move and knocking our last manager and every other manager before him at the same time but I couldn’t care less: A small part of me is happy to see us get a few marching orders. It would be nice to be able to show the commitment which we have and finish a game with eleven men but I’d rather have our current problem than one of players not giving 100%. Maybe ‘not giving 100%’ is a bit harsh as our players have always done that but they are definitely a different side this season to last. We have added that determination to

us: that desire to win the ball back and also to mix it up, leave a boot in and generally show that we are not here to be bullied. This may be something which we actually have needed to ‘learn’ and the extra bookings and sending’s off could simply be a lot of short-term naivety while adding the ability to ‘mix it up’. It is a fine line. Jonjo’s first booking was pathetic and I hope he lost a week’s wages for being so idiotic. At the same time, Bonys first booking was pretty idiotic but I liked it, it was a sign of aggression, an obvious booking but it was worth it as long as he wasn’t stupid enough to do what he did afterwards. I’d hope he lost his weeks wages for his second booking but I’d like him to keep that aggression before walking the tightrope. A forward should be able to last a match on a yellow card without too

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about picking tooyellow many yellow cards. Som much difficulty. he be booked in the first five worriedworried about picking up tooup many cards. Some much difficulty. ShouldShould he be booked in the first five are it worth it and others aren’t. will alway minutes, it shouldn’t reallyhis alter his too game too and much so bookings bookings are worth and others aren’t. We willWe always minutes, it shouldn’t really alter game much soand upbookings some bookings that worth aren’t it worth it but first booking was alright. I’d be ifupset if one pick uppick some that aren’t but the factthe fa Bony’s Bony’s first booking was alright. I’d be upset one of our of our full did backs did they are always sceptical to picking are picking upisn’t more isn’t necessarily a bad th that wethat arewe picking up more necessarily a bad thing, full backs that asthat theyasare always sceptical to picking justtoneed tosure make sure up bookings that second booking youtohave be a completewe justwe need make that wethat pickwe uppick bookings that up thatup second booking but youbut have be ato complete theand team and for kicking balloraway or to doour what our Ivorian didalready while already carrying the favour the team not fornot kicking the ballthe away idiot toidiot do what Ivorian did while carrying the favour something pathetic like that. caution. something pathetic like that. caution.

will upcautions more cautions thismore year,red more red card good striker this.half After hourhad Bony the willWe pick uppick more this year, cards A goodAstriker knows knows this. After anhalf houranBony thehad We and probably have less possession in our previo scenario. had wound upSouthampton’s both Southampton’s and probably have less possession than inthan our previous perfectperfect scenario. He hadHe wound up both campaigns if it means wemore havepoints more points of were whichbooked were booked and campaigns but if itbut means that wethat have then t centre centre backs, backs, both ofboth which and that is that greatis great all be happy. by a forward. we willwe all will be happy. I don’t I play byplay a forward. You You that counting take your believebelieve that counting the would would alwaysalways take your number of yellow andtwo their two number of yellow and redand striker striker and their cards to relate backs being cards relate poorto poor centre centre backs being discipline. after discipline. Being Being bookedbooked after half anhalf an disciplined is what doingisw hour: Costa Diegolooks Costaalooks a disciplined is doing hour: Diego required win match real expert this. required to win to matches. real expert at this.at This is This is Chelsea willthe finish the professional Chelsea will finish professional footballfootball and and with more this is something seasonseason with more this is something which Iwhich I bookings thanThey most: T are learning. bookings than most: feel wefeel arewe learning. thedisciplined most disciplin are theare most in the league I do we missed a team inteam the league by a by I do feel likefeel welike missed a country nasty to our game country mile! mile! nasty side toside our game it’s a novelty and it’sand a novelty to be to be

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I'm not particularly bad at cooking but how long does pasta stay in the toaster...? Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with them; They said it would be just like winning Lotto! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls! What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhoea? Bravefart I have just tried to get the new Fifa 15, but apparently you have to pay a £30,000 'gift' to Sepp Blatter for it. How many 70's TV presenters does it take to change a light bulb? None. The prison staff do it for them.

My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture." "Oh Spense!" she sighed. "I thought you had a real one this time." How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it. This woman in India has given birth to a 23 pound boy. Doctors say they expect the kid to be walking 6 months before his mum. I hate my job at Premier Inn. No matter how many times we carry Lenny Henry out while he's sleeping and dump him in the street he just won't take the hint. I first realised that I was going bald when it started taking longer and longer to wash my face... I woke up this morning covered in raffle tickets, I think I've contracted tombola....

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What do you call a pot smoker with 2 spliffs. "Double jointed".

Well that’s "sober October" nearly out of the way, who’s up for "cant remember November"? "Et tu Brute!" I cried out, clutching my chest before slowly sinking to the ground. I didn't get a penalty though. The referee thought I'd gone down a bit too theatrically. My family and I were at a friend's house for a barbecue when it started to rain. My son moaned, "The rain is wet." My friend laughed and said, "Talk about stating the obvious!" "He's always doing that," my wife said. "I don't know who he gets it from..." she laughed, pointing in my direction. After a few seconds, I turned to my friend and said, "He gets it from me." My wife said to me this morning that I put football before our marriage. "Bullcrap," I replied. "It's our third season together."

“Just waiting for my suspension to end, hee hee”

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44 Cr��, s��i� , ��n� stat� I saw this before the Arsenal game and I must admit that it made me laugh a bit. It was from Ladbrokes.

it’s more than likely to be an unsustainable situation for the Swans.

“Aside from Chelsea’s robotic dominance of all around them, the Premier League has been more unpredictable than ever so far this season.

For example, Aston Villa had similar stats when winning three and drawing one of their first four games. Eventually their luck ran out and the Villans have now lost six on the bounce.”

Southampton are second, West Ham fifth and Swansea sixth, with many of last season’s top seven throwing away points hand over fist. However, nosebleeds are generally tricky to avoid for those sides that fly high unexpectedly in the early rounds of the season, and Swansea in particular could be riding for a fall. Certainly the stats underlying the Swans’ results so far suggest that more than a modicum of luck has been involved in accumulating their points haul of 15. Only one side – Aston Villa – averages fewer shots per game than Swansea’s 9.3, and Garry Monk’s side are also at the wrong end of the table when it comes to shots conceded. The Swans have allowed 15 shots on their goal per game so far, with only Hull, Leicester and Burnley conceding more efforts. Monk’s side have also spent a league-high 33 per cent of their matches in their own half, and a league-low 18 per cent in their opposition’s territory. All in all, the stats paint a picture of a side that is doing a great job of scoring the few chances they are creating, and riding their luck at the back. It’s clearly no bad thing to be so sharp in front of goal, but

Stats lie. Stats have always lied and these stats seem to lie more than most. Shots against you means very little for example. It can mean the exact opposite to what they have assumed from it. Many shots against a side may imply that a side is on the cosh but it could mean that a side are so defensively sound that the opposition cannot get in behind them and so are taking shots from distance. The possession stats are also interesting as this can be seen as a positive thing. I would bet good money that Arsenal have the ball in the opponents half more than any other but that is because they do very little with it. They pass and they pass and then they pass some more. From these stats, we could look at it and say that we are comfortable passing the ball across our back four but then spring into a full blown attacking mode as soon as we get into the opponents half, attacking with real purpose. Our fewer shots per game stat can be worrying but it can also mean that we try to get in behind teams (which we do) and so our shots would be from closer range and we’d rather have 9 shots from 10 yards out than 15 from 20 yards out. Who knows, maybe we will get on a shocking run of form and the stats will then be vindicated but generally stats are lying buggers.

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Taking my biased hat off for a minute, I have seen worse penalty decisions being awarded and I have also seen more blatant dives but that’s not to say that Victor Moses didn’t cheat for his penalty. The ‘defence’ off Moses from his manager, Chairman and some pundits alike has border line been a case of ‘it is part of the game’ but that doesn’t mean that its not cheating it basically says that cheating is a part of the game: which in reality: it is. I hate diving and I have said for years that it is simple to eradicate. If the FA or FIFA really wanted to rid football of this evil disease which for me is a far more worrying than the threat of Ebola then they could do it today: anyone caught diving gets banned for ten matches and their team gets deducted 3 point: simple, we have the cameras to prove it, it will cease to be a problem. But for whatever reason, this will never happen and it will remain a part of the game which basically means that what the defence team have said is actually true and we are in a position where we are being told that we need to join in. We need to dive! It is a shocking state of affairs but that is modern day football. If we don’t dive and others do then we will lose out. It wasn’t that long ago that the shirt pull was a dirty

Italian tactic. It was at the heart of their mean and boring defence and it won them World Cups and it brought many European Cups to Serie A. That is now a tactic that every centre half in the Premier League will use, shirts are grabbed in every single match and Garry Monk was as much an expert as anyone at it. That is cheating. That is as much of a cheat as a dive. You do it subtly and try to con the ref into thinking that you haven’t touched the lying striker but I’m okay with that. It’s a leveller, I do it myself when I play, if there is someone better or quicker than me (which is most people) then I try to level it out but diving is different. Diving is dirty; it’s shameful, it’s worse than dishonest. There is something which we really dislike about someone pretending to have been clipped and it is much worse than other forms of cheating. Our side are becoming more efficient and better at winning points and matches and from what I have seen and heard, we need to learn to cheat in every way and this means learning how to dive. We have tried moaning about it, addressing the issue, it doesn’t work. If the powers at be wont use that power to stop cheaters and seemingly encourage diving then we have no choice but to join in.

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The Liberty stadium is a rich mans Vetch field and like many new stadiums, has lost that bit of magic that the old ground had. Maybe character just needs time to develop but we can’t hide from the fact that the new ground has certainly been a major reason for the Swans success since 2005. It was then that the Swans played their first game there with a friendly against Premier League outfit Fulham, which was a massive club to play against back then for the league one side! It is named the Liberty Stadium due to a sponsorship contract from the Statue of Liberty! Visits to New York globally have trebled since the naming. Everything inside the stadium is useless and overpriced like basically every ground these days. I would seriously suggest having a beer and some food before you get to the ground. There are some brilliant, friendly pubs on the way into Swansea and most pubs will welcome away fans with a bit of banter but half a brain! JK’s Club is a couple of junctions before the stadium and I know Karen welcomes away fans and its 2 minutes from the motorway.

start of it, locals will drag you off to wherever they are going from there but it’s a good place to start! Parking is useless around the stadium, we are expanding the ground and nobody has a clue how this will work. We actually have an old train station that is a 2 minute walk from the stadium but it doesn’t make sense to reopen this somehow: the powers at be!! If your happy to pay a fiver then you will find somehwere close, if not, you will have a walk! Onto the club: We are awesome. I’m sorry to tell you that and I expect you already knew it but we are. The club is run by a board of directors who are Swans fans, with 20% share holding being held by the supporters trust. Our chairman took no wage and no expenses for the first few years he was with us and the whole board are borderline worshiped. On the pitch: We are pretty damn sexy there too! We demand good passing football and we get what we want. Leon Britton is god here, how he has never played for your national team just shows the clear stupidity of your past managers.

If you are travelling by rail, please don’t judge Swansea by the train station and its surroundings! The city is stunning; there are some magical spots for whatever you are looking for, it just so happens that if you enter the city via a train, you enter the part of the city designed for junkies. Wind Street is the lively place for a night out or at least the

Crowd: It is no Vetch but then the Premier League is no Division 3. It’s getting better at times and we are renowned as one of the best and most vocal fans in the league (which says a lot about the prem). Just to let you know, ‘sheep shagging’ is no insult, fire away! Make a weekend of it! Whatever you want, Swansea has it! People are friendly as can be. Don’t be a prick and you will be fine

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and a proper stadium. I can’t help feel that the fans need to get together and ask themselves what they want because I really don’t think that what they have is what they want. I hope you go down, I hope you then sort your souls out because its another club who seem to want success at any cost. Having said all this, I actually think Swans will struggle and I see a draw being the result.

In fairness, Palace are doing a better than I and many expected but the fact that they are 17th and overachieving in peoples eyes will show the massive job that they have on their hands. Tony Pullis done a magic job there last year and I can’t help but think that the organisation that he put in will unravel more and more as the season moves on.

Tottenham

Only QPR have conceded more goals and I don’t really see them having the ability to score more than one at SA1 and I don’t think that will be enough to get anything. Swans 3-1 and an easy 3-1 at that. QPR I keep expecting ‘arry to sort them out but its just not going to happen I don’t think. Destined for complete oblivion I think, I am almost at the stage where I would be surprised if the club is still in existence in ten years time it is run that badly. It is a shame because it has proper fans

Sadly there is a bit of a break before we play Spurs as they are in freefall as I write this. I think they have a very good manager, a brilliant organiser and he needs time. I saw a previous Spurs manager say that it is difficult to succeed with a team which is notorious for underachieving as the players are used to it and even if you bring new players in, they quickly learn the ‘Spurs’ way. It is difficult to gage where Spurs will be then but I think Swansea have the capabilities to take any Spurs team down and I would go for a comfortable 2-0 home win.

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disgusting attitudeattitude towardstowards her andher herand family his and his h has been said andsaid written about Ched disgusting herand family Much has been and written aboutEvans. ChedShould Evans. Should inabilityinability to showtoany remorse whatsoever is as vileisas e allowed to play football again? again? show any remorse whatsoever asthe vile as the he be allowed to play football act thatact he that committed. he committed. firstThe thing havewe tohave movetoaway from is any firstwhich thingwe which move away from‘ifsis any ‘ifs is clearly shameful act. He clearly done something ts’or because there aren’t There be any. be He any.ItHe It is aclearly a shameful act. He has clearly has done something buts’ because thereany. aren’t any.cannot There cannot could possibly be proud but he 0%isguilty. is anHe evilisrapist belongs behind behindwhich nobody which nobody could possibly beof proud of hasn’t but he hasn’t 100%He guilty. an evilwho rapist who belongs the got ballsthe to balls admittowhat hewhat did and let the andbars thisand is the way thatway wethat can we possibly treat treateven got even admit he did andvictim let the victim thisonly is the only can possibly tryisto move and on thatand shows extend of how of vilehow he vile he Hehim. is proven to haveto committed an offense which iswhich try toon move thatthe shows the extend He is proven have committed an offense is. How is. selfHow deluded he is he is wned for being self deluded renowned for being and how insanely self dibly difficultdifficult and how insanely self incredibly centredcentred he musthe be.must be. t ato successful get a successful ecution. He is He is prosecution. But does that mean he that he y; we mustwe must But does thatthat mean guilty; shouldn’t be allowed to play to play him as guilty, shouldn’t be allowed treat him as guilty, footballfootball again? again? % guilty. 100% guilty.

as aAnd guilty as aand guilty and usting rapist, rapist, disgusting nnot stop stop he cannot : he needhe toneed to there: hisdrag victim hiseven victim even er further down atdown any at any bility. His possibility. His ulously ridiculously

And theAnd answer is of course the answer is of course ‘no!’ ‘no!’ He should free be to play He be should free to play football.football. The crime Thewhich crimehe which he committed was unrelated to committed was unrelated to football,football, he cannot get a FIFA he cannot get a FIFA or an FAorban whatfor hewhat did, he did, an for FA ban

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he has been sentenced for his criminal act and he has served that sentence. He is a free man and with that means that he is free to play football. There is a second question though which is, should his employers keep him

services. Supposedly the PFA have ‘forced’ Sheffield United to allow him to train with the rest of the team. It will be interesting to see what sort of reception he receives amongst that group. Nobody would want a picture taken with him, I don’t feel like this is something which will blow over too quickly.

And the answer for this is obviously not. He is more than welcome to play football. I suggest he warms up playing in the Swansea Sunday league and sees how long his legs I hope that whatever club take him on face a massive backlash from supporters. He isn’t a role model, I wouldn’t last! But his employers must have the right to tell him encourage my children to support a club who supported a where to go. £3 million they spent on him, surly they rapist and one who should be able to release him and sue him for continues to harass his victim and I would like to their transfer fee? think that there are thousands of parents who It has been a media circus around him since would stop following a club for such a reason. his release and I sadly expect that he will play Would we back a Welsh professional football one day and probably for team with him in? I don’t think we would but then Sheffield United as I we have shown locally that would have thought that we have some principles. they would have spoken out a lot more against The side up the M4 have shown that they will chose him if they were to promotion at any cost. release him of his

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54 Vit�� Inf�ma�i��: W��e� You should know most of these but here you are just in case! 1. Mount Everest was named after Welshman Sir George Everest from Gwernvale, Breconshire. 2. Only 21% of the entire Welsh population of Wales can speak the native language. 3. Wales is believed to have more castles per square mile than anywhere else in the world. 4. Welshman Pryce Jones from Newtown Montgomeryshire created the first Mail Order business in the World.

in the World. 12. Wales is the land of mythical Kind Arthur. 13. The Welsh motto is “Cymru am byth” which means “Wales forever”. 14. The Welsh Anthem is “Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau” which means “Land Of My Fathers”. 15. Wales is the only part of the UK not to be represented on the Union Flag (Union Jack). 16. Wales has a population of around 3 million.

5. Robert Recorde of Pembrokeshire invented the “equal to” sign.

17. The population sheep in Wales is four times greater than the Welsh population of humans.

6. The letters K, Q, V and Z do not appear in the Welsh alphabet at all.

18. Famous people from Wales include Richard Burton, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Tom Jones, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Shirley Bassey, Timothy Dalton and Charlotte church.

7. All the statues surrounding Cardiff Castle are of animals. 8. Lawn tennis first appeared in Wales in the 1800s. 9. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch is the name of a town in North Wales which translates as “The church of St. Mary in the hollow of white hazel trees near the rapid whirlpool by St. Tysilio’s of the red cave”. It is believed to be the longest place name in the world. 10. Marconi’s first radio transmission in 1897 was between two points in Wales. 11. The Millenium Stadium in Cardiff has the largest retractable roof of any sports arena

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19. Saint David (in Wales “Dewi Sant”) was a Welsh Bishop during the 6th century, later regarded as a saint and regarded as the Patron Saint of Wales. 20. The Seven Wonders of Wales is a list of seven geographic and cultural landmarks in Wales, identified in the late 18th century in doggerel verse. All in North Wales, the “wonders” are: Snowdon (the highest mountain), the Gresford Bells (the bells in the medieval church of All Saints at Gresford), Llangollen Bridge in Flintshire, the Wrexham (Wrecsam) Steeple, the Overton Yew trees and Pistyll Rhaeadr waterfall NOW YOU KNOW!

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*These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country: * 1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 5) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. 6) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

14) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. 15) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. 16) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 17) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. 18) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor

7) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had Diahre, dyrea, direathe the runs. 8) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. 9) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. 10) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 11) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears. 12) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 13) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

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1st

Putting a goalkeeper as number one in the race to player of the year implies that he has been exceptionally busy and kept the team in matches that we have deserved to lose. I don’t feel like that is the case but I do feel that our keeper has been outstanding and warrants the top spot. I was becoming less comfortable with Vorm, I do struggle to judge goalkeepers but I just felt like he wasn’t stopping the ball from going in the net often enough which is quite a large part of their job. Our Polish keeper just seems confident, I feel like he will only let in those goals which can’t be saved and you can’t really ask much more than that. We have conceded the joint second fewest goals (behind Southampton and joint with Chelsea) and a big part of that is because of our man between the sticks, not necessarily because of masses of wonder saves but because of his calming effect on those in front of him. It is clear the side have faith in him and I agree with them. Ki

2nd 2nd

Early in the second half against Arsenal he made a hopelessly poor decision and passed the balled perfectly to the opposition. This was what we were used to with our South Korean. This was the Ki that left to go to Sunderland but back then it would happen twice a half, now it is down to a monthly episode. I think us fans had a funny relationship with him, we never really took to him in his first season but then all moaned when he went. We seemed to spend the whole of last season saying ‘why have we got JDG on loan when KI is better and owned by us’ but preferred the Dutch player the season previous (don’t pretend you didn’t!!! every single person did!!). His tackling has improved no end, his positioning is truly outstanding, he brings calmness to the side which has been most useful in Leon’s absence and he does look like he will bag a few goals over a season. I said in the last issue that I can see us nurturing Jonjo and him buggering off when he’s complete, at this moment in time then I would play Ki ahead of him and lets face it, Leon is a shoe-in to get back in that midfield. He’s a far better player than I thought he was in fairness and I’m starting to think that he can also get better. Sigy

3rd

Only third I hear you ask and I can’t really disagree with you but the whole side are performing superbly. His goal against Arsenal was clearly outstanding but I was more impressed with a tackle he put in about 8 yards out when the scores were still 0-0. He’s a proper midfielder. He gets called a second striker at times and I don’t see that at all, he is everywhere, he is far more than just an attacking threat. He does play in front of our midfield triangle (do we still have a triangle?) but he isn’t glued there, he puts in a proper shift. All this and he only trails Fabregas in the assist league at the moment and he has Diego Costa in front of him (no offense Wilf ). I firmly expect him to keep it up, I see no reason why he can’t continue with his current assist rate and would actually expect him to increase his goals per game record. No pressure but then do Icelandic people feel pressure?

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There is a general election coming up in the spring. Every newspaper which we read tells us what we should be thinking, we are constantly being manipulated to hold certain views by every media source or spin doctor that we see or hear. Over the next few issues, we are going to interview a different person from a different political party and simply print what they said. As simple as that. First of all, unlike the BBC, we see the Green Party as a party and so we met up with Ashley Wakeling who will be standing for Swansea West in the general election. Is there still a tree hugging hippy image surrounding the Green Party? With some of the older members maybe; Although a lot of the older members are the red left wingers but there are still a few around that are strong environmentalists but we still bring in those kind of people anyway as environmentalism links with socialism very well. I don’t think anyone is 100% for environmentalism but not interested in anything else anyway. We have this spectrum of ‘green-green members’ which are the real environmentalists and then the watermelons which are green on the outside and red on the inside and then there are few conservative-greens who are blue – green but they don’t really exist that much but there are a few. We keep introducing fruits, we now have the avocado which is green on the outside, green on the inside and stoned to the core! Can the country afford to be green in the current economic climate? Yes, no problem. Looking at our financial model, we want to introduce the citizens income which will replace the Welfare state which will give everyone the same amount of money and not be means tested. This will take away a lot of the ‘I have 5 kids and a 5 bedroom house, I need ‘x’ amount’. There will be top-ups of course, housing benefit will be on top but everybody out of work will get this citizens income. Just out of work? No, they will get it all the time but work will immediately pay. So as soon as you start work, your citizen’s income will fall by less than you will be paid. We want to introduce the living wage by the end of the next parliament of ten pound an hour.

That isn’t that dis-similar to Labour? Labour wants it to get to £8 an hour and the conservatives £7 per hour. Because the Labour parties pledge is a clear con as it is just an inflation rise isn’t it? Yes and they released it a week after we made our pledge. I think the Conservatives actually falls under inflation. What industry should drive the economy in the locality? In Swansea: it is a difficult one as we have been so reliant on industries. There is a massive tidal lagoon which is coming here and that will employ thousands and we can obviously have apprenticeships working alongside that. People working alongside engineers and so we could have thousands of people learning and have these lagoons popping up all over the place: we are an island for goodness sake. They can also go in rivers, we could stick one in the Tawe. We expect the tidal lagoon will power ¾ of the city. But asides from that, we are struggling in reality. It is a city where there is jobs but in retail mainly or catering. Do you think that we have used our tourism as well as we could have? No, I don’t. I think that the removal of the slip bridge was a massive mistake and unfortunately it will cost £1

million for us to get it back up, that was an attraction, it was more than just a bridge, it linked the city to the sea. The Mumbles railway was another one. We have 23,000 students in Swansea and I am sure that a lot of them would use it, especially if it was a pound each way or something and it ideally stretched right across to Port Talbot. It would liven up the city centre. Unfortunately the duel carriageway kills the beach as it is but the bridge and the railway could bring life to it. How do you feel about more powers to the Welsh assembly? Devolved powers are better. I think Wales is getting a really bad deal at the moment; it looks likely that Labour will lose 90% of their seats in Scotland as nobody is listening to them there. I don’t think that Plaid Cymru has the charisma that Alec Salmon and the SNP have but Wales does need more powers on transport and energy for example. Wales produces 125% of its energy needs. 25% of it is then given to England for nothing, Wales technically feeds England and then they give Wales 10% cuts and that’s not how it should be. We have hell of a lot of wind power in Wales mainly up the North but we have an awful lot.

Do we have a problem with immigration numbers In Wales? Well Wales and UK?

In Wales no. we don’t at all and in the UK I don’t think do either. This idea that people come over here and t our jobs, I think is a massive farce. I would say to peop that if they come over here and take our jobs, well yo are more than welcome to go to Poland and take the jobs if you want.

We should be proud that people want to come here, are not in a massive state regarding unemployment y but then if the Torys continue then who knows? Immigrants give a lot more to our economy than they take out. People who come in carry on working. We invited them to come in initially. We can’t suddenly sa ‘sorry, we have changed our mind!’ How is Swansea performing?

I think that the council and every day life in Swansea alright; It could be better. Our recycling is OK but goo be better. Our transport is ok but could be a lot bette Our purple bendy busses are not ideal for the city. We

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Do we have a problem with immigration numbers? In Wales? Well Wales and UK? In Wales no. we don’t at all and in the UK I don’t think we do either. This idea that people come over here and take our jobs, I think is a massive farce. I would say to people that if they come over here and take our jobs, well you are more than welcome to go to Poland and take their jobs if you want. We should be proud that people want to come here, we are not in a massive state regarding unemployment yet but then if the Torys continue then who knows? Immigrants give a lot more to our economy than they take out. People who come in carry on working. We invited them to come in initially. We can’t suddenly say ‘sorry, we have changed our mind!’ How is Swansea performing? I think that the council and every day life in Swansea is alright; It could be better. Our recycling is OK but good be better. Our transport is ok but could be a lot better. Our purple bendy busses are not ideal for the city. We are

al at in oc rm e L Te tr s en Bu C n ty ai Ci M g. ar in Ne ark P r

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a city of 300,000 people, we are a big place. I would like us to look at the Dublin model and get some trams here. In terms of Swansea; I have never seen Geraint Davies stand up to anything for Swansea or Wales and I know many people who have gone to him with concerns but he is mainly concerned about international issues. I met him a few months ago and introduced myself and as soon as he knew that I was standing against him, all he wanted was to have a ‘Selfie’ with me. I think he saw me as some kind of joke. Hopefully I can get 5-10% of the vote and that might make Labour work a bit harder for the city. The Green Party currently has one MP: having one MP this time next year would be a great achievement wouldn’t it? No, having 1 mp would be ok. I want three. Norwich is looking very positive, Bristol West is looking good and Cambridge as well. Our party leader (Natalie Bennett) is in Hackney and so we will have a chance there. Where it will be won is Brighton though. If we lose all of them then I will be very downhearted as I think that things are going for us and not against us. In Brighton for example, Labour and Conservatives are working together against the Greens. One of the Labour front benchers has been handed the task to stop the green surge and so unlike the Conservatives who regarded UKIP as fruit cakes, Labour have seen the threat from the left: which is a shame really. I have heard from a number of people that the Green party is where a ‘revolution’ would come from and that you are the progressive protest vote as against UKIP. What would a green revolution look like? I don’t think that there will be a revolution as people see it. There won’t be people marching down the street. It won’t be slow, it would be quite instant. We would stop the cuts and get more people into work in the new

industries. We would scrap Trident and save £30 billion there. We wouldn’t pay the £80 billion for High Speed Rail 2. Don’t you see investing in the railways as a green thing to do? No, not investing £80 billion to get somewhere 20 minutes earlier no. I think we need to invest in the railways but spending that much on saving 20 minutes seems crazy. If we spent a quarter of that then it would still be a lot of money. We live in an unfair society, where the rich avoid paying taxes. Is it wrong for small businesses to do the same? I think avoiding taxes anywhere is wrong. Taxes are there for a reason. If businesses stopped paying taxes tomorrow then they wouldn’t have a business as nobody would collect their bins and carnage would happen. Small businesses should be taxed less as small businesses are the key to any locality and big businesses should be paying more. Somebody (and it probably will be us,) needs to spend time and money into finding and stopping where the big businesses hide their money. Uplands bi-election is coming up and you are standing for it. Tell us about that. Yes, it is a council seat, there are currently 4 Labour seats on the ward and the seat has come up as the Labour councillor there hasn’t attended office since January and yet claimed her wage until July and so 6 months pay for doing absolutely nothing: that’s nice. It is a very localised election, I want a walking bus which will take hundreds of cars off the road in the morning, teach kids road safety and give them some exercise in the morning. The election is on the 20th of November. You can see details on facebook at ashleyforuplands or on the website www.ashleyforuplands.webs.com.

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So ‘Jack Swan tries’ has had me in a plane overlooking the city and Gower while my pilot tries his best to convince me that I was in serious danger. I have been out in the sea on a stand up paddle board, up in the trees in Go-Ape and climbing walls in Dynamic Rock. It was defiantly time for something relaxing and easy. Fortunately Matty told me that ‘walking football’ was coming to Swansea: Bishopston Leisure Centre to be more precise. Ideal for the over 50’s, this seemed right up my street for a gentle, lazy and safe month. I’d not been to Bishopston Leisure Centre before and it was pretty clear early on that this was how the better half of the city lived. Individual shower cubicles where you can turn the pressure up or down as well as changing the temperature???? I’m not even used to that at home! Walking football seems to have taken over the country quite quickly although it had totally bypassed me, I’d not heard anything of it, apparently it has appeared on a Barclays advert and could be mistaken for a bit of a wind up but it is genuine and it really is sweeping the nation.

The rules of the game are pretty self explanatory: usual 5 a-side rules but you cannot jog or run. Indoor format so no over head and all that jazz. This was the first session which had been put on and so we were a bit short on numbers and were playing 3 a side with a ‘rush’ goalkeeper. It took a while to get into it with everyone kind of looking at each other as to what we should be doing. We basically just passed the ball about, lost the ball equally as frequently and neither side even considered scoring for the five minutes which brought up half time. The referee/instructor was clearly very cautious and seemingly too much so early on. After all this was a gentle walk with a football involved. Whether your 65 or 25 it is still just walking about at the end of the day isn’t it? I wasn’t thinking like that for much longer. I still can’t really work out why it is so strenuous but I assure you that it is. It probably took another two or three halfs (I know that more than ‘two half’s’ technically doesn’t make sense but you can work out what I mean so your being the pedantic idiot and not

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me: get over it!!) before I realised that this was more than a gentle walk. The most bizarre thing about the whole game is that it is pretty much identical to football but much slower. Everything which happens in the normal game does here only much slower, there were even ‘dummies’ which is amusing at 2 mile per hour. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t get into it. I could totally see why it is becoming seriously popular, especially among retired footballers. I’m still clinging on to my Sunday league days but I love the idea of still being able to have a kick about once the body packs in (a bit more). I was seriously dropping by the end of it. We played 5 minutes each way and with a few minutes break at half time and I was grateful for that break in the last few half’s. I think we played 4 games in all (so 8 half’s!!! It does work) and I was ruined by the end

of it. It is very much like 5-aside in as much as there i nowhere to hide. You are always in the game and you always have to get involved.

The Leisure Centre are hoping to get enough people that there can be three teams, allowing for one to res each time.

It was surprising how fast you can walk at times and tiring this is, you seem to use muscles which we don usually use and that always takes it out o you.

Richard Birch who is year old retired PE teacher took part an said ‘It was excellent really enjoyed it. It w different, it’s frustrat when you have play bit of football but at same time, it is a lot fun. Everybody seem to enjoy themselves was surprising how you get: not so muc tired but sweaty. I di realise that walking could be so enjoyab

“The only competiti do at the moment is swimming and if I se someone who I can for then I will go afte them and I’m the sam

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of it. It is very much like 5-aside in as much as there is nowhere to hide. You are always in the game and you always have to get involved. The Leisure Centre are hoping to get enough people so that there can be three teams, allowing for one to rest each time. It was surprising how fast you can walk at times and how tiring this is, you seem to use muscles which we don’t usually use and that always takes it out of you. Richard Birch who is a 67 year old retired PE teacher took part and said ‘It was excellent, I really enjoyed it. It was different, it’s frustrating when you have played a bit of football but at the same time, it is a lot if fun. Everybody seemed to enjoy themselves, it was surprising how tired you get: not so much tired but sweaty. I didn’t realise that walking could be so enjoyable.” “The only competition I do at the moment is swimming and if I see someone who I can go for then I will go after them and I’m the same

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Ja�� Sw�� T��e� on the bike. Hopefully the important thing here is not to be competitive’

see it getting seriously competitive in some cases and I think Richard might be a prime suspect!

I’m not so sure how easy that is. You can’t help but want to win and I personally think that’s great, that’s what makes it more than the gentle kick about that I expected. I must say that Richard was a damn good player as well, totally tucked me up for one goal and on a number of other occasions. In reality, I see no reason why anyone would opt for walking football while their body was still capable of a run. The game is targeted at the over 50s and in reality, that will be the vast majority of people who play it. If you are a retired footballer then give it a go. I can personally

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78 Ja��

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I lost a week this month and so haven’t been able to sample the delights that Swansea has to offer this issue. In fact that is a lie because I did sample many a delight of cooked food only not where you would expect. Spending the best part of a week in Singleton hospital while the Labour ward refuse to help my son come out (will get onto that later) wasn’t as bad as it could have been thanks to the canteen! Believe it or not but its true, Singleton hospitals canteen is outstanding. Is there better value for money anywhere in the city? A 7 item breakfast for £3.50 can be completed with but we are talking 2 bacon as one item: 2 hash browns as one item and a big spoon full of scrambled egg as one item and you help yourself!!! The quality of it is top notch too and not just the breakfast. The curry was good, a bit of spice, the lasagne was outstanding and the ham, leek and turkey pie was magnificent. And you are talking about £3.00 for each meal and a bit cheaper if you blag yourself as staff. So the food was really impressive, I must admit. The food was but the way the labour ward is run was scary and boarder line criminal. There have been numerous reports about the crisis in labour wards across the UK and Singleton has been singled out as one with

issues and I don’t want to add to hysteria just for the sake of it but there are massive problems with the place. I can’t understand how bad some things are run, I cannot get my head around the stupidity of some things and this is one of these cases. It is a bit like why you would want to join Cardiff as a manager, it is just clearly idiotic. I spoke with staff through the whole week and they basically all said that it is worrying and most actually asked me to complain about it. Before I go on I would like to say that mother and baby were fine and are fine and that every mother and baby I spoke with while down there were fine but that is solely down to the staff there who work far and beyond what should be humanly possible. My boy had been having problems with his growth from about 30 weeks and they had been monitoring his growth as well as the fluid levels around him. At 38 weeks the consultant had had enough and wanted him out and booked him in for induction on the Monday at 4pm. The theory was that he wasn’t safe in there anymore. Inductions were on hold when we got there and continued to be so all night as the Labour ward was full and so ward 18 became home for the night and until Thursday when there was finally room upstairs to be induced properly. I can’t explain how it

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feels to be completely helpless on a ward full of people worrying about their unborn baby. Everyone who was there to be induced was there for a reason, generally because it was felt that the baby was safer out than in and yet the hospital cannot get the baby out because it was understaffed. Every day, there was hours when the inductions were on total hold. There were staff was taken from ward 18 to go upstairs which left the ward understaffed. One midwife said that the Tuesday night was the worse night in her 15 years of midwifery. The following night there was one midwife looking after two women in actual labour! Get your head around that!! It actually coincided Enterprize Sheds half landscape.ai with me ‘kicking off’

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a bit and a doctor coming down stairs to ‘reassure me’ that the hospital was safe only to backtrack when I pointed out that I knew that there was one midwife delivering two babies at the same time. I think he quickly came round to the idea that the place is also a ticking time bomb. And it’s too late when that bomb goes off. It’s not something to mess about with. It is all well and good paying compensation when a baby dies or apologising afterwards but surely we can do better than this? We aren’t third world and I don’t buy the money side if it. It costs more money to run the place badly than it would to do it right! We spent a week there. That is a bed taken for a week, mother fed for a week, monitoring for a week, electricity for a week, staffing for a week. That costs extreme amounts of money.

Abercrave Inn full left.ai 1 13/10/2014 18:39:46

Abercrave Inn Accommodation ~ Restaurant ~ Fine Ales ~ Beer Garden

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Ja�� Sw�� Eat� F�o�!

We could have been in and out in one night! It just doesn’t make any sense.

be able to do this day in – day out without a mistake and when they do that mistake, we can’t blame them!

Ward 18 was a place where you were waiting until you were an emergency before you would go upstairs. That is what it was. You would be monitored, assuming that there was no immediate danger: there were people more pressing.

I apologise to everyone for this article. I know it is very un-Jack Swan, I also know that it isn’t what you would want to read about if you were destined to go there anytime soon but I personally felt that I had to do the most I could to make people aware of this and to try and get it sorted. I think that a lot of people would have experienced the same thing but we forget once baby is born and all is well and good. If we don’t complain then nothing gets fixed and somebody, somewhere is going to pay the ultimate price for that.

I cannot pay enough tribute to the staff working in this hospital and it is only them that keep the place going. I would like to single out Danielle on ward 18 because she was just unbelievable and brought calm to the ward when everyone was feeling pretty mental in fairness. She never once moaned about understaffing, the job or anything and I probably have never seen someone as good at any job as she was, she was genuinely that good. Like a Messi or even a Leon Britton! And that is probably the most unjust part of everything. The chances are is that it will be Danielle or one of her colleagues who will take the blame when something does go wrong. The staff are constantly doing more than they should: that is blatantly obvious. We can’t expect them to

I would like to add that the actual Labour ward was fantastic when we eventually got there. We were spoilt enough to have a midwife all to ourselves and Kathrin was superb but the way the inductions work and getting to there was a real eye opener and something needs to be done about it because it really isn’t anywhere near C acceptable as it is. Cracking food in the canteen though!!

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Ye� But��

With Clint from Pontardawe Butchers

What is your favourite cut of meat?

What makes a good butchers?

A nice rib eye steak or nice Welsh Leg of Lamb.

Dedication to the job and knowing what the customer wants

What is a good cheap bit of meat, best value for money?

How do you become the best butchers in South Wales?

Braising steak. If you cook braising steak nice then it is as good as anything.

I don’t know. Its just experience, I have been doing it since I was 11. I’m now 57 and so 46 years I have been doing it day in day out. I started off doing it on my bike at 11, delivering orders in the local village of Treorchy and then at 15 I started full time in a Butchers and I got my masters in Butchering when I was 17 and then when I was 19 or 20 I started on my own and that was it. I suppose that it is mainly down to experience.

Have you ever held up a Butchers knife in anger?

Why are sausages in café breakfasts so crap? What they do is that there is a frozen sausage going around and it’s cheap and most places use it. It is crap yeah.

No Not even when you were eleven? I wasn’t allowed to touch them then! Why do people buy meat from supermarket? I don’t know. We have so many people coming back to us from there. I don’t understand some people. Probably because it is all in one place but I really don’t know. Is it cheaper?

GOLD AWARD SAUSAGE, GOLD AWARD BACON , GOLD AWARD GAMMON The Award Winning Butchers

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5 Years Old and Still Growing Strong

No, definitely not. In fact it s more expensive but people don’t realise it because its portion packed.

nice. I have butchered a deer, did three this week actua Did the horse scandal make you busier?

Our fifth year here at Cwmtwrch and things really couldn’t be better. It just so happens that Yes. Definitely. People realised that if they don’t know What do you have for Christmas dinner? we decided we’d make it our hardest year yet by opening another restaurant in Mountain where their meat is coming from then they should go somewhere where they know exactly where every thin Ash! Turkey and we always have a duck as well and pork for has come from and so yeah, we have had a lot of new Boxing day. The George (Mk II) opened it’s doors in July and haspeople proved to be justthat. coming in from Are you cook yourself? the ticket fora good the Cynon Valley. So much so, in fact, that we found I don’t get meat from anywhere else, good quality ourselves little overwhelmed and we had a few teething problems Butchers are fantastic and are cheaper than No butamy missus is. with getting the right staff trained up and in placesupermarkets (thankfully, the in my opinion. Ponty Butchers is officially the best Butchers in South Wales. When Is it true that you have offered all your customers a food never suffered and customers have enjoyed the same superb there, ask Clint to tell you a joke about a mouse and free steak if Chelsea win the league this year? quality up there as down here). We’d like to thankhorse!! all of our Cynon all Jack supporters! ValleyHaha, customers for their patience and understanding while we ran the way ‘to cook braising steak nice’ as Clint put the operation through the gears to full speed. All By that seems to be he says to add it to a pan with a lid (or in slow cooke How are your rugby 7s doing? behind us now and we can move forward with confidence. with a bit of water, some potatoes and onions and stick it in oven for 3 1/2 hours on low. He was right We had a fantastic year. We won in Swindon, won Back Good. in Cwmtwrch, and we are pleased to announce that we go into too! in Lincoln, but unfortunately in Aberaeron we lost in the our 5th Christmas season with yetwithout another semi-final but unfortunately we were four5ofStar our Hygiene Rating. It’s top players. The in did great butas its hard so gratifying to boys see who thiscame recognition, it’s a testament to the to replace four top quality players. dedication and hard work of all of our staff here at The George. What is the weirdest animal that you have ever butchered?

Rob, Jayne and family

A cockerel in Lincoln. This guy had bred this cockerel and named it Ed. I had to kill it, clean it and butcher it. It turned out to be about a pound and a half in meat. There was more meat on the butchers hook than on that. I didn’t enjoy that. Was the worse thing I ever done that was. Any other weird animal? No, not really. I ate goat in Dubai and that wasn’t very

Ye� But��

No, definitely not. In fact it s more expensive but people don’t realise it because its portion packed. What do you have for Christmas dinner? Turkey and we always have a duck as well and pork for Boxing day. Are you a good cook yourself? No but my missus is. Is it true that you have offered all your customers a free steak if Chelsea win the league this year? Haha, all Jack supporters! How are your rugby 7s doing? Good. We had a fantastic year. We won in Swindon, won in Lincoln, but unfortunately in Aberaeron we lost in the semi-final but unfortunately we were without four of our top players. The boys who came in did great but its hard to replace four top quality players.

nice. I have butchered a deer, did three this week actually. Did the horse scandal make you busier? Yes. Definitely. People realised that if they don’t know where their meat is coming from then they should go somewhere where they know exactly where every thing has come from and so yeah, we have had a lot of new people coming in from that. I don’t get meat from anywhere else, good quality Butchers are fantastic and are cheaper than supermarkets in my opinion. Ponty Butchers is officially the best Butchers in South Wales. When there, ask Clint to tell you a joke about a mouse and a horse!! By the way ‘to cook braising steak nice’ as Clint put it, he says to add it to a pan with a lid (or in slow cooker) with a bit of water, some potatoes and onions and stick it in oven for 3 1/2 hours on low. He was right too!

What is the weirdest animal that you have ever butchered? A cockerel in Lincoln. This guy had bred this cockerel and named it Ed. I had to kill it, clean it and butcher it. It turned out to be about a pound and a half in meat. There was more meat on the butchers hook than on that. I didn’t enjoy that. Was the worse thing I ever done that was. Any other weird animal? No, not really. I ate goat in Dubai and that wasn’t very

As well as 5,000 copies printed and delivered from Mumbles to Abercrave and Britton Ferry to Gowerton. Our online magazine is viewed the world over! www.jackswan.co.uk

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2 Meals for ÂŁ10 Daily Specials

Monday - Thursday Available for bookings Breakfast 8:30 - 12 Fri & Sat. Delivery Available!

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88 T�� Se��e� B�e�kfas�e�� I work all over south west wales and am up at 5oclock so come half 9 Im usually in the mood for a breakfast. Ive rated on quality, price and location, each month the league table will be updated and 1 new review will be carried out very edition. As it stands at the moment Position 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th

Café the Penny Black, Burry Port The Skyline Café, Glyncorrwg Mountain Bike Centre Tambinis Express Café Tollgate, Port Talbot Café on the roundabout Ystalyfera Fairdeal Café, Llansamlet Enterprise Park 20/30

Score out of 30 25.5 24 21 20.5 20

For my 2nd review I chose the Ponty Café in pontardawe, Now where do I start with this one. From the outside the premises doesn’t shout out come in and eat my delicious wares but I wandered in anyway, inside pretty much reflected the neglected exterior, although it could be a themed café straight out of the 80s carpet included. I found myself a seat and ordered there large breakfast consisting of 2 eggs ,sausage ,bacon, hash browns, mushrooms, beans, toast and a mug of tea/coffee for a more than reasonable £3.50, once tucked into the food my mind drifts off and forgets about the slightly dismal surroundings. As for the food, yet again the sausages where pretty poor along with 90% of other cafes I’ve visited, on the flip side the fried eggs where cooked to perfection, all in all a great value meal but not overly spectacular , I question myself would I eat there again ?............most certainly. Location = 2 Price = 9 Quality = 6.5

ot��

17.5 30

�A�K ��N �S W�LC�ME HERE!!

EATS FOOD!

LOOK OUT FOR THIS POSTER WHERE YOU EAT!!!!

WE ARE SO CONFIDENT THAT OUR FOOD IS ALWAYS AT THE HIGHEST STANDARD THAT WE CHALLENGE JACK SWAN TO COME HERE ANYTIME AND REVIEW OUR FOOD!!!

P�� f�� Kid�

It is a fact that all good people were playing pool in pubs before the age of 4. Here I will give a monthly guide to help you be the best possible parents and take the kids to the right pub! I will look at two pubs each issue. Starting with:-

HUNGRY HORSE IN DUNVANT

Total 36.5/50

Quality of Food: Quality of Childs Entertainment Quality of Adults Entertainment Value for money Beer

8 6 8 7 7.5

I have been impressed with the Dunvant when I have been there and it seems to keep improving. The menu is well geared up for kids with many offers on through the week (although I caught it on a Saturday with no deals on). Sky Sports, Pool table, Dart board keep me happy, there is nothing specifically aimed at entertaining kids although there are some machines with toys: which you can be sure will get you pestered for a pound from the kids but in fairness, it was actually a pound reasonably well spent. Real ale on tap (always a bonus), really good sized portions and good quality food. I’d say the price is right without being exceptional but it does become better value for money when there are some of the deals on. Its definitely somewhere I’m happy to take the kids to eat but can’t keep them entertained for a few hours there

P��i�u� Sc��e� New Swan Ystalyfera

Total 39/50

Quality of Food: Quality of Childs Entertainment Quality of Adults Entertainment Value for money Beer

7.5 7 8.5 9 7

Dyffren Arms Bryncoch

Total 32/50

Quality of Food: Quality of Childs Entertainment Quality of Adults Entertainment Value for money Beer

7 8 4 5 8

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92 P��n�-�es� P��n��n�! We have all been there, (well those of us with kids) the football is on TV and we don’t get to watch hardly any of it as we are too busy entertaining the little monsters. I asked Claire from Munchkinos Childminding to try and come up with a solution. So, some new ideas for Parent-less parenting………. Finding something that will keep children entertained for a couple of hours of (nag free) football viewing is not an easy task. I do however believe that I have found something that usually keeps children of all ages (as well as some adults) engrossed, Salt Dough!!!

Match Day Preparations Set up a corner in your room with a table and chairs, if not possible the floor is fine. You could protect your floor with a plastic cover to prevent salt dough in the carpet. Add the previously made salt dough, some plastic bottles filled with water (or rolling pins) plastic cookie cutters, blunt plastic knives and some children. For that extra Va va voom: You can add gel food colouring into your dough, even glitter! Just separate the mixture and add colours.

This is basically like Play-Doh, just a lot cheaper, less messy and unpleasant to eat. It is so easy to make and best done with your children in advance.

Alternatively paint their creations with them after the match.

Salt Dough Recipe 2 cups plain flour 2 cups salt 1 cup warm water (add a little more if too dry but start with this amount)

The possibilities with salt dough are endless and the best part is that you can cook it on a low heat in the oven so that you can keep what the children have made. Cook for 3 hours on 100 degrees. Once cooled you can even seal with a clear vanish or pva glue. * Hand prints are always great and make lovely, inexpensive (cheap) presents

Mix the dry ingredients together in a large bowl, then stir in the warm water slowly. The mixture should be a little sticky, but as you continue to mix it thoroughly it will become like normal dough. Once it has all come together into a ball place it onto the worktop and begin to knead it for a couple of minutes until it is soft, smooth and not at all sticky. The children will love doing this and could easily take up to half an hour, or you could do it in a couple of minutes! Don’t panic if it is too wet: add more flour, or too dry: add more water; it really is as easy as that!

By Munchkinos Childminding.

Q�� An��r�

Picture Quiz 1) Chris Waddle 2) Paul Lambert 3) John Charles 4) Graham Souness 5) Kevin Keegan Link: All been succesful aborad.

Mind Puzzles: 1) 5, you took 5! 2) White. You are on the North Pole 3) A worm 4) A cure for hiccups 5) ‘One Word’ 6) None, it was Noah 7) Half way, after that he is running out of it. 8) Man Over Board 9) Scrambled Eggs 10) Head in the sand

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