Issue 27 by Jack Swan

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Words From Jack Swan I think we are still in the calm before the storm in terms of transfer activity. It has been a quiet summer so far, two free transfers coming in and with no departures as yet. A good bit of business possibly but the World Cup might just mean that there are frantic signings at the end of the window and I would hope to have longer than a week to replace either Ash or Bony should they go. Here at Jack Swan we are still in negotiations to keep hold of our prize assets. Spense is being a tad greedy, insisting on copyright for all of his jokes so that we cannot print any on T-Shirts. Matty still has dreams of being the next Parky and is currently sat outside the BBC Media centre in London (the old one, he doesn’t know that they have moved). But we are just going to keep producing this wonderful magazine every month with or without our main men. Last season was a brilliant year for our publication, we saw our pages rise to 64 which was a great achievement for us and we are looking to keep expanding on that. We have noticed from speaking to readers and people on the street that we appeal to a wider range of folk than what we thought we would when we set the magazine up. Even people who have no interest in football look forward to the magazine, we are the only publication brave enough to print the jokes we do, the only publication who are quite content with making the odd mastike and it has been really nice to hear some positive words about the magazine from so many people over the last year (I ignore the criticism). We will keep to what we are doing and keep to the same style that we always have. We are branching out into a couple of other small things: just to give a bit more to the magazine but Jack Swan will always be a Swans mag that looks at the only Welsh football team in the Premier League. Keep supporting our advertisers because they keep the magazine out there! I really appreciate all of your support!

Cheers Jack Swan

Contents

4:Board & Supporters Trust 16: Four - Four - Two

18: Lets all Laugh at England

20: Jack Swan Tries

24: Jack Swan Eats 28: Jokes By Spesnse

34: Where are they now?

We talk to the ﬂying postman

42: Ben or Shaw?

44: Pictures of the Month

46: End of the Swansea Way? 48: Timehop

52: Picture Quiz

54: What to do with Michu? 58: Nana Suarez 60: World Cup Scout

Get In Touch

01792 862129 07779 499881 info@jackswan.co.uk www.jackswan.co.uk

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Bo�r� �n� S��p��r� T�us� We are currently the most fortunate fans in Britain. I really believe that. Our club is exactly that: ‘ours’. Our board has the clubs best interest at heart and the supporters trust is vital in keeping the club close to the fans. At this time of the year, when the Swans are on holiday, what better time than to look back at how the supporters trust helped made the club what it is today and look at how our board is currently set-up. EARLY DAYS - THE SUPPORTERS TRUST INVOLVEMENT IN BRINGING THE CONSORTIUM TOGETHER. A small group of Supporters initially met in Port Talbot, where it was decided that a Public Meeting would be called at the Brangwyn Hall on Saturday 8th July 2001, at which over 150 interested in the idea of a Supporters Trust attended. A follow-up meeting was held on Sunday 22nd July at Manselton/Cwmbwrla Community Centre to agree a Constitution, arrange a bank account and form sub-groups from the 50 plus who attended. John Parkhouse chaired the meeting with Mike Kent taking the Minutes. At this meeting it was reported that Ninth Floor had dismissed Neil McLure as Chairman.on 20th July 2001, this news was greeted with a certain amount of pleasure, bearing in mind the uncertainty surrounding the Club’s future, especially as it was announced that Ninth

Floor had no intention of taking Swansea City back into their ownership Further, Ninth Floor had finally cut its losses and sold the club for £1 to the former Commercial Manager Mike Lewis, but Lewis was saddled with a debt of £801,000 which was repayable to Ninth Floor. Lewis was struggling to run the club alone and set about looking for buyers. The lines were now drawn and the meeting determined that we were all fully committed to saving our Club, to become part owners and invest in the Club whatever was right for the Supporters, and that a Supporters Trust could be trusted by the fan base. Dave Boyle was present on behalf of Supporters Direct to outline why we should consider becoming an IPS, which is a not for profit organisation and which could run the Club if necessary. Working Groups were set up from those in attendance and the Working Party would comprise those who signed the Constitution – Richard Lillicrap, Michael Williams, Leigh Dineen and Nigel Hamer. A further meeting was arranged for Sunday 5th August when arrangements would be made for the Official Launch of the Trust, which would take place at the Patti Pavilion on Bank Holiday Monday 27th August after the home game against Cheltenham. The launch was extremely successful with over 600 signing up on the day to join what was now a constitutionally set up body ready for an involvement in our

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Bo�r� �n� S��p��r� T�us� football club, in anticipation of the day arriving when Shares became available to purchase in the event of a change of ownership. Membership fees and the auction held raised over £3000. Backing for the Trust came from far and wide with John Toshack, John Hartson, Max Boyce, Gareth Edwards, Rhodri Morgan AM, Martin Caton MP, Kevin Johns, Eurig Wyn MEP, Steve Hamer, Mel Nurse and Mel Charles amongst many pledges of support.

forward.

The scenario that we had been anticipating arrived sooner than expected when, in October 2001, Mike Lewis sold the Club to Tony Petty, a Londoner based in Australia, again for £1, but crucially the debt of £801,000 was still due to Ninth Floor and became Petty’s responsibility. A hastily convened gathering of Swans fans, with Richard Lillicrap and Nigel Hamer representing the Trust, took place at A meeting was called in Bristol where MAGS members Swansea Rugby Club, also present were Martin Morgan, David Bradshaw, Mel Nurse, Gareth Keen, Tony Davies and and London based fans met to discuss financial matters with past Club Chairman Steve Hamer, also present at this David Morgan. It was decided at that meeting that we would offer Tony Petty £10,000 to purchase the Club. meeting were Phil Sumbler, Keith Haynes, Richard Lillicrap, Leigh Dineen, Tony Jenkins, Nigel Hamer and Tony Davies (Trust), who had previously met Petty, rang others. The meeting was designed to give a financial him with the offer, which was rejected out of hand. picture of a football Club’s affairs and how Supporters Following further discussions over the next few days it could become involved financially in ownership. was eventually agreed to make an increased offer to Petty There were e-mails flying thick and fast from Llanelli to Moscow, Cardiff to Swansea, Gloucester to Kingston-Upon-Thames, between fans who were Accountants, Solicitors, Financial Advisers and Businessmen, all determined to ensure the survival of our Club. As the Supporters Trust was now a full constitutional body we became the nerve centre of information for the way

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Bo�r� �n� S��p��r� T�us� of £50,000, but this again was rejected and we were back to square one. At the Trust’s first AGM in the Patti Pavilion in November 2001, Chairman John Parkhouse asked supporters to explore and research all appropriate avenues of inquiry with relevance to bringing them into the public domain in the battle against the current owner, and openly offered the newly formed Trust as a vehicle for transferring control of the Club to local people, in the promise that the future of the Club would be secured. Further behind the scenes discussions took place, with Leigh Dineen, being more locally based, taking over from Richard Lillicrap in future meetings. It was evident that there was a reluctance by any one individual to move forward in taking the risk single handedly, which resulted in the Consortium being formed, and the Trust were charged with co-ordinating future meetings with potential investors. At this time we were aware that Ninth Floor were prepared to sell the £801,000 debt for £100,000, and with this in mind a hastily convened meeting was called at the Tudor Court Hotel, where Martin Morgan, George Edwards, Don Keefe, Gwilym Joseph and David Williams, along with Leigh Dineen and Nigel Hamer, met to discuss the possibility of raising the £100,000 to purchase the debt. This debt purchase would

have given the Consortium an asset to raise further funds to send Petty on a one way journey back to Australia. However, with time being the absolutely critical factor for the survival of our football club, there was inevitably much going on in the background, and the Group learnt that the Chairman of Ninth Floor, Alan Wix, had met with Mike Lewis and Mel Nurse and agreed on a sale of the debt to Nurse. The Trust then became fully involved in discussions with Mel Nurse’s Solicitor Tim Jones and Insolvency Practioner Gary Stones in helping to provide as much information as possible from various sources, not least the Football Association. Members of the Trust Board were very supportive of Mel Nurse in his Court case against Tony Petty, and many attended Court during the hearing. The Trust arranged a further meeting at Clyne Golf Club, with Martin Morgan, George Edwards, Don Keefe, David Williams, Nigel Hamer and Leigh Dineen present, with a new addition to the meeting being local businessman Huw Jenkins.

Tony Petty - yeah it is!

A follow-up meeting was held at the Oaktree Park Hotel where Martin Burgess, who had recently been removed from office by Petty, became a member of the working party. At this time Gareth Keen and his advisors had rejoined the group, with the meeting attended by Tim Jones, Mel Nurse, David Morgan, and Nigel Hamer and Leigh Dineen representing the Trust, and two other local businessmen, who subsequently withdrew their involvement.

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Bo�r� �n� S��p��r� T�us� Brian Katzen had previously indicated an interest but as nothing further had been heard from him, it was decided that we would move forward without him. However, Martin Burgess was sure that Katzen wished to be involved and contacted him the following day, and he confirmed his interest. At one of these meetings Gareth Keen decided that he would prefer to donate £10,000 to the Supporters Trust in lieu of his involvement, a gesture that was greatly appreciated by the Trust representatives present. Petty was in discussions with a consortium, but the Trust were concerned that it was not locally based and once again urged Petty to transfer his entire shareholding into local ownership via the Supporters Trust, which was fast becoming the main thrust of attempts to rid the Club of Petty. A rally attended by almost 2000 fans marched from Castle Square to the Vetch Field prior to a game, and a further crisis meeting with over 1000 fans present was held in the Patti Pavilion, where a heroes’ welcome was given to Nick Cusack and fourteen of his team mates along with Trust President Alan Curtis. With television crews in attendance, MC Kevin Johns and the other speakers urged supporters to back the Trust in its attempts to wrest control from Petty.

football Club, and the Supporters Trust were at his side at every twist and turn, unfortunately as the result of a very weak Barrister, Mel Nurse lost the case. However, the fans and the Supporters Trust were more determined than ever to oust Petty. In January 2002, a package and draft Consortium agreement was put together with the aid of Swans fan and Solicitor Steve Penny, who had offered his services free in the campaign to oust Tony Petty, and he, along with Tim Jones, Mel Nurse and David Morgan, travelled to a meeting in Cardiff to meet Petty. Thankfully, the offer of £20,000 to buy out Petty was accepted and a further meeting was called in the Sea Haven Hotel on 6th February to discuss the Consortium Agreement, which would become a signed agreement for the formation of Swansea City Football 2001 Limited. The document was produced and was signed by the Trust representatives at that meeting, Leigh Dineen and Nigel Hamer. Also present were Martin Burgess, who had become more involved during the Court case and had brought Brian Katzen to the table, Steve Penny , Mel Nurse, David Morgan and two others who had expressed an interest in becoming involved but decided it wasn’t for them financially.

Mel Nurse had now become the figurehead and the man determined to take Petty on in Court to save his and the fans

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Bo�r� �n� S��p��r� T�us�

Other investors who had not been a party to all of the meetings but had agreed to become financially involved were OTH Limited (Martin Morgan), Redi Plastics Limited (Huw Jenkins), Five Thirty Ltd (Brian Katzen), and Swansea Jacks Ltd (John van Zweden and David Morgan) – these, together with Mel Nurse, Robert Davies and Olliedom Ltd (Dineen family) comprise the shareholders in the “new” Swansea City FC.

The Trust were allowed additional time to obtain their £50,000 investment as the other consortium members were Corporate bodies, there was also agreement that the Trust could have a Director for their investment and also be allowed to invest a further £50,000, which would entitle them to a further seat on the newly formed Board of Directors. The Trust Board agreed that Leigh Dineen would become the Supporter Director, and would form part of a Management team, along with other investors, to run the Club as a Committee. The Supporters Trust were paramount in ensuring that the Consortium became a reality, something which is not universally appreciated by fans and investors alike. The current Club Board and current Shareholders, apart from Leigh Dineen who became our Supporter Director, were not involved at the outset but became involved as the months progressed. We are firmly of the belief that as long as there is a Swansea City Football Club there will be a Supporters Trust, a body that will remain a Shareholder long after other current Shareholders The board today hasn’t changed too much from back then and the role of the supporters trust is equally important. We are really fortunate to have the club set up as it is today. Our current

directors are:We have 9 directors in total who are Huw Jenkins Leigh Dineen Huw Cooze (Trust representative) John Van Zweden Steve Penney Don Keefe Gwilym Joseph MBE Martin Morgan Brian Katzen We also have two associate directors in David Morgan and Will Morris - these are both non executive positions Of these 9, 3 of them - Gwilyn, Don and Steve own no shares in the club with the share ownership made up as follows : Martin Morgan 225,000 shares Brian Katzen 200,000 shares Swansea City Supporters Trust 200,000 shares Huw Jenkins 125,000 shares Robert Davies 100,000 shares Leigh Dineen 50,000 shares John Van Zweden 50,000 shares (Many of these shares are not listed to the individual but businesses associated to them but I have used individual names for ease) Overall share issue is 950,000 shares. A brief bit of information on those who have shares in the club:-

As well as 5,000 copies printed and delivered from Mumbles to Abercrave and Britton Ferry to Gowerton. Our online magazine is viewed the world over! www.jackswan.co.uk

MEADOW FISH BAR Martin Morgan 225,000 shares ‘The money man’ as people call him in the pub, Martin Morgan owns the largest stake of any of the board and is a well respected and probably the most well known businessman in the city. Martin and his wife Louisa sold his travel agency to Thompsons for £40 million but are best known in the city for Morgans Hotel.

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Robert Davies 100,000 shares Robert has held shares in the club since the board took over the club. He currently doesn’t site on the board of directors.

GELLINUDD, RHOS Martin has been associated with the club for many years and was heavily involved in saving the club from creditors at our darkest time. Supposedly a decent footballer in his time, Martin is rumoured to be eyeing up a fifty million pound bid to buy Jack Swan magazine. If not a bloody advert wouldn’t go a miss mate!!

Leigh Dineen 50,000 shares

chairman and controlling the commercial side of th Adjacent to Rhos Meadow ServiceVice Station

His son Charlie played a massive role in our Capital Cup win (I actually met Charlie a month or so back and he’s a top bloke and a good laugh.) Brian Katzen 200,000 shares The South African businessman had dreams of playing at the very top level but it never materialised. Brian was also a part of the group who took over the club from Tony Petty.

club, Leigh is clearly useless at his job as he has yet to headhunt me for some role at the club. Lets sex up the match day programme!!

A life long Swans fan and a part of the Supporters trust before joining the board in his own right. Leigh is very well known and appreciated by supporters and regularl finds time to support charity events etc... (kiss his ass a b and you never know)

Brian also holds a 20% share in New Zealand ‘soccer’ team New Zealand Knights.

John Van Zweden 50,000 shares One of the best stories in football and a real character. In 1979, a pen pal request from a Dutch teenager studying English was printed in the Swansea City matchday programme. That teenager's name was John Van Zwede who would went on to become a regular at home and away matches and a fantastical supporter of the club despite the fact he still lives in Den Haag. David Morgan became his pen pal and they share the love of Swansea City FC together to this day.

Swansea City Supporters Trust 200,000 shares The Supporters Trust are the ‘link’ between the fans and the board with Huw Cooze sitting on the board of representatives as the trusts representative.

This group of people along with our Supporters Trust ar more important than any player or manager that we ha had or will ever have. Keep these together and we are in safe hands.

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Bo�r� �n� S��p��r� T�us� Martin Morgan 225,000 shares ‘The money man’ as people call him in the pub, Martin Morgan owns the largest stake of any of the board and is a well respected and probably the most well known businessman in the city. Martin and his wife Louisa sold his travel agency to Thompsons for £40 million but are best known in the city for Morgans Hotel. Martin has been associated with the club for many years and was heavily involved in saving the club from creditors at our darkest time. Supposedly a decent footballer in his time, Martin is rumoured to be eyeing up a fifty million pound bid to buy Jack Swan magazine. If not a bloody advert wouldn’t go a miss mate!! His son Charlie played a massive role in our Capital Cup win (I actually met Charlie a month or so back and he’s a top bloke and a good laugh.) Brian Katzen 200,000 shares The South African businessman had dreams of playing at the very top level but it never materialised. Brian was also a part of the group who took over the club from Tony Petty.

Huw Jenkins 125,000 shares The Swansea City chairman is highly respected in the footballing world and has undoubtedly done a fantastic job as chairman during his tenure. He recently added himself to the playing staff as a reserve goalkeeper after impressing Garry Monk in the charity match. Robert Davies 100,000 shares Robert has held shares in the club since the board took over the club. He currently doesn’t site on the board of directors. Leigh Dineen 50,000 shares Vice chairman and controlling the commercial side of the club, Leigh is clearly useless at his job as he has yet to headhunt me for some role at the club. Lets sex up the match day programme!! A life long Swans fan and a part of the Supporters trust before joining the board in his own right. Leigh is very well known and appreciated by supporters and regularly finds time to support charity events etc... (kiss his ass a bit and you never know)

Brian also holds a 20% share in New Zealand ‘soccer’ team New Zealand Knights.

John Van Zweden 50,000 shares One of the best stories in football and a real character. In 1979, a pen pal request from a Dutch teenager studying English was printed in the Swansea City matchday programme. That teenager's name was John Van Zweden, who would went on to become a regular at home and away matches and a fantastical supporter of the club despite the fact he still lives in Den Haag. David Morgan became his pen pal and they share the love of Swansea City FC together to this day.

This group of people along with our Supporters Trust are more important than any player or manager that we have had or will ever have. Keep these together and we are in safe hands.

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F�� F�� Tw� Three words which we haven’t heard in SA1 for nearly a decade. We may have thrown two up top from time to time but I can’t recall us starting a season with two out and out strikers in a starting eleven since Kenny Jacket and I think Rory Fallon was one of those! We have to assume that Gomis is going to be a regular starter, we also must assume that Bony will be the first name on the team sheet (assuming he stays) and so we surely have our ‘two’ up top. We eventually learned how to play to Bonys strengths last season and wingers are essential to getting the best out of our best player. I would imagine that our new French international would also appreciate some quality crossed being whipped into the box and so we must have two wide men which will inevitably leave two in the middle which gives us four and four in the back. It is hard to see up shaping up any other way. Monk played in a back four his whole career and so I can’t imagine him wanting to tinker with the defensive quartet. It would be a massive surprise to me if we were to adopt a back three to ensure that we kept the three in midfield, something which Martinez did with Wigan in either their successful FA Cup winning year or their relegation year (depending on your view). With more and more sides lining up with three in midfield this will certainly put a lot of pressure on our two central midfielders who we would assume would be Leon and Jonjo (Ki fans may disagree). We will inevitably need to get used to seeing less of the ball and control possession far less but as we know too well, possession doesn’t win matches.

Our system will have to see our wingers wide, many will expect that we will play a diamond with Jonjo in an attacking midfield position behind the front two but I don’t think that we can afford this luxury. I would expect us to have two ‘proper’ central midfielder which will give our wingers more freedom, because that is where our goal threat is going to come from. I could be reading into everything completely wrong. It could be that Garry Monk wants to continue with our current one up top and just have two quality strikers fighting for one position or that Bony is on his way out but should we be playing with two up top, then are we to expect more strikers on their way? If 4-4-2 is our elected formation, we would have to assume that 4 strikers on our books is the minimum requirement. Michu will only be able to play as one of the front men in this position and so may be called one (should he stay). Hernandez will be a winger once more or used as a ‘different option’ on the bench. JDG can’t play centre midfield as one of a two in my opinion but would be okay out wide. This could be quite a shake-up. It has been a fairly quiet summer this far, we don’t currently have a squad to play 4-4-2 for the whole season and we have a few players who are well suited to our current system but would struggle alongside the traditional British set-up. As ever with Jack Swan, it is likely that more light would have been lit on all of this by the time these magazines are back from the printers but at this moment in time its exciting, intriguing and yet puzzling.

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Let� �� L�u�� a� En�l�n�? I’m not English. I’m really not to any of you who know me and think otherwise! And I’m genuinely not to those of you who read that and thought that maybe I am. However, come the World Cup, I do want them to win. I despise the English rugby team. I have very little interest in rugby except the fact that I physically hate the English but then Wales have a rugby team, a team that can actually beat those posh, evil, cheating scumbags! But let’s face it. Wales don’t really have a football team. I haven’t ever seen us grace a competition and so my option has always been, chose a random team, chose England or (as many of you do) passionately support the teams who England play. But the latter is dangerous, you can find yourself cheering a Ballotelli goal or even worse, a Louis Suarez goal. I think I’m in the minority, but there aren’t many players in the England squad which went to Brazil that I would like to see being savaged by killer poodles. Obviously it helps that Ashley Cole, Rio Ferdinand and John Terry had retired. I do hate the English press. I really hate that the last two England managers have been stupid enough to overlook the greatest Englishman to never win a cap (if you need me to tell you who then your also an idiot). And I expect that I will soon be hating the majority of English football fans (not much left to love I know). Who will be this tournaments ‘boo boy’? Will there be just the one?

It’s pathetic. In fairness, it happens in other countries, most noticeably Italy (although Columbia in ’94 might disagree with that) but it is totally shameful. A part of you can understand why Beckham got his abuse. Not because he was wearing Womens skirts but because he was an absolute idiot, he didn’t make a mistake, he got himself sent off in ridiculous fashion and I can understand people wanting to express their anger at him. But players are victimised for missing a penalty. Gareth Southgate had loads of crap for that. But he was useless, he was barely a footballer let alone an international and who in their right mind decided that he could take a penalty? The poor boy did as well as he could, the shot reached the goal, it was actually on target, in my eyes: he dramatically succeeded expectation. We will see how pathetic England fans are at the start of next season but I think it will be fun watching Liverpools away games in August and September to see who gets the more abuse out of Gerrard and Suarez. Will they abuse the player who was too good for England or the player who wasn’t good enough? One thing for sure is that Wayne Rooney was happy to see him start the season against the only Welsh club in the league! Incidentally. I do ‘support’ (in a mild way) England while they are in the tournament. As soon as they are out, I laugh at them like every other Welshman!

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Ja�� Sw�� T��e�........ Over the last few months I have been inundated with calls, emails and letters from millions of people who love the Jack Swan magazine but aren’t fussed on football (a slight exaggeration on numbers: just a little). So, I have been thinking of a few sections which we can put in the magazine which would make these idiotic people (who also have money to spend on my advertisers who give me money, which helps to feed me) who don’t enjoy the beautiful game even happier (not instead of our current content but as well as!! Before you complain). We got a few ideas in the pipe line but this is without doubt the best idea which has ever come out of my head. Wait for it: Each issue I will try something new, some local activity ranging from ball room dancing to deep sea diving. There are loads of things to do locally which I have never tried and yet would look to do these things on holiday. Why? In this issue, I am going to try these local things, tell you about it and kick you up the ass to go and try them yourself!!!!

I have always actually quite like the certainty with a plane, you live or you die, not really any in betweens, you rarely hear of a plane crash with someone having serious injuries: I have always liked that there are only two outcomes, in some weird way. So we walk across Swansea airport which is renowned as one of the most illustrious airports on the globe, past duty free and into what must have a better name but I will call the ‘plane garage’. Must be 15 or so planes and helicopters in this garage all of which looked quite ‘toy like’ and it was quite surreal in reality. The plane we were using was towards the back of the garage and so 3 or 4 planes needed to be moved out of the way for us to get ours out and so Ashley (my pilot) simply pushed a few out of the way. Now I’m starting to realise how light these aircrafts are and how 40 mile per hour winds my effect it.

The first one in this exciting new section was Jack Swan tries………..Flying in a Plane ‘I have cancelled all my bookings as its really windy up there today but we can still go up if you want to’ isn’t the words that you really want to hear from your pilot when you are about to fly in a small plane for the first time. ‘it will be alright, the plane can take much worse than the conditions today’ helped slightly with any anxiety brought on by his first sentence but I’m not feeling totally at ease as yet. I am quite logical in my way though and my theory is that he doesn’t want to die either and he knows what he’s on about, if he’s happy to risk his life then I’m in. He seems quite happy, I think he enjoys life.

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Ja�� Sw�� T��e�........ content watching my film. Every flight I have had since has been more comfortable than that one and this was calm. The difference between the view on take-off from Swansea airport in a small plane compared to a holiday flight from Cardiff or Heathrow is crazy. It isn’t dirty, industrial and urban. I instantly saw the fields and woods around the airport and then, within seconds, as we got higher, the sea becomes visible in almost every direction and then the city itself becomes prominent. It is really nice being able to recognise places, work things out. I tell you something there are a few private swimming pools locally, not all Swans players either I don’t think. It was really strange to see how flat everything looked. Townhill was noticeably on a hill but it was really difficult to work out depth to everything else. It might be credit to Ashley but it really didn’t seem too So we get in the plane, I strap myself in, Ashley says that windy at all and I didn’t really realise how windy it was we better make sure that everything is as tight as possible until, at one point we stood still. The wind was about today as its going to be turbulent – is he now just trying to scare me???? Anyway, headphones on, Ashley checks the microphones work to one and other and they do. Then he says a load of airport jingo to radio control, who replies with some additional numbers and jango. Then we start moving quite slowly across the ground, he tell me again ‘not to worry if the plane is being thrown everywhere, its fine but it might be a bit windy until we get above it all’. I don’t know what he was moaning about the little wimp. It was a breeze (pardon the pun). He certainly built it up to be worse than I expected but I do have an advantage when it comes to flying and that is that I didn’t get on a plane until I was 15 and that that flight was horrendous. Bags being thrown everywhere, people crying, people preying, total mayhem. But I didn’t know any different, I thought they were just ‘bad flyers’, I sat through it all, quite

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Jaďż˝ďż˝ Swďż˝ďż˝ Tďż˝ďż˝eďż˝........ what this new section is about. I have never done this before, it will live with me for the rest of my life, I took some photos which will be printed and live on my walls for eternity and it cost ÂŁ59. I was back in work by 11 am (when I say workâ&#x20AC;Ś you knowâ&#x20AC;Ś.the pub). Flying to a holiday destination is a very different experience to being able to look over your own city and work out what is where, sitting next to the person who is flying the plane and explaining to you what is what. We live in the most stunning part of the world and there is no better way of seeing that.

40mph against us and my clever pilot ensured that we were travelling at that speed into it and so we were basically hovering in a plane, moving ever so slightly but certainly below walking pace. Not many people can say that hey?

I hope that this section will encourage some of you to do things which you would do if you were on holiday but for whatever reason, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do at home and flying over our city has to be done by everyone. You have to do it; I really donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even see it as an option for you send us your pics when you do. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t put it off!!!

On the way down, he asks if â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I want the easy landing or the fun oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; I laughed and said up to you at which point he flew the plane upside down in some way, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even work out exactly what happened to the thing but it was fun in fairness. Ashley has over 3,500 hours of flight teaching experience, the vast majority of which would be over our skies. I must admit that he did tell me this before we went up and that knowledge did put me at ease somewhat because I was pretty sure that he hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t died yet. It is simply something that must be done and is exactly

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As well as our ‘Jack Swan tries…’ section, we are also kicking off a food section in the mag (I am also excited about this as I do like food). I will make apologise to Terry Williams straight away as I know he has no interest in what I have been eating and where I have been going. There is though, in my opinion (and I might be proved wrong) a gap for a proper food review, one without all the snobbery that seems to go with la-di-da professional magazines who use spell check and have a reasonable grasp of English.

criticise myself ). Fajitas, pretty easy. Tequila always goes down well (or not really, does anyone actually like that stuff?) and I managed to find a drinking game called ‘Mexico’ online. I recommend this game to anyone, just involves a pair of dice (or is a pair a die? – I’m sure that the snobby food reviewers would know!) And it’s really messy. Anyway. Went down well, can’t really review my own food.

The second night was held by our very own Matty. He had the simplest task of an Australian Barbeque. The sun was shining, we have the best Butchers in South Wales (in Not this. Oh no. This will be the usual pathetically written, Ponty Butchers) and yet he still managed to screw it up! 1 G.C.S.E school boy wording which has proven to be sausage, 1 burger and adored by all you lovely readers. Each issue I will eat an (undercooked) kebab each. What the hell is that? An somewhere and tell you exactly what I thought: not what Ethiopian barbeque maybe but as far as I know they are wine would go well with each course but whether it filled not starving in Australia. Everyone left hungry: no me up, decent value for money or even a place to take entertainment offered at all and he didn’t even get us a someone on an important night out! crate of Fosters! I say everyone left, he didn’t even have the decency to do this pathetic night in his own house, he With the World Cup on and with it all being essential borrowed mine and so as well as having to have a viewing, me and a few mates have been doing World Cup disappointing night, I woke up the net day and found him Come Dine with me (it might not be a coincidence that I’m asleep on my sofa! And the living room stunk! recently single). A simple spin off from the TV show but we must cook a meal from Peter Ryan (a local carpenter one of the teams playing – not relevant) was next in that day. I thought I’d line. Interest in the practice my food ‘competition’ had seriously reviewing techniques and deteriorated after our show potential restaurants disappointing Australian the style of my reviews night, with only me turning and how ruthless I can be up from the previous nights. but also how wonderfully Pete went French and did it lovely I can be if you do in style fair play. French fries, make me happy. To see French bread, a salad (for who is brave enough to show) and cubes of raw ask me to review their steak. He wasn’t being really restaurant! brave and going Steak tartare (although I did try I kicked us off with a one, nice – but cold: Mexico night (not going to obviously) he had put a pan

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of hot fat in the centre of the table on top of a kind of candle keeping the fat warm. We then had little forks (they probably have names) to pick up the steak and cook it ourselves. A great touch, great night, bottle of wine provided. Very French, a bit of effort. Take note Matty!

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Not being outdone, John (a local engineer – not relevant, not self employed so no need to plug his surname as with Peter Ryan the carpenter) doubled up for the Chile v Brazil night, taking on a dish from both countries. No prizes for guessing what he cooked us up for the native dish of Chile but that was good, no tomatoes and a secret ingredient of coffee, it was hot and with a wrap and some sauce was really good. He then went for a fish curry for Brazil. I’m not the biggest fan of fish, it is alright but basically, I would always prefer it to be chicken (which is what we all think and why this section is needed!!!) but it was amazing. Really nice and given the option, I wouldn’t of swapped the fish for chicken, best compliment ever! So I hope you have seen what this section is to be about. Feed me good food and I will write about the good food. Feed me undercooked meat and pathetically small portions of that and I will take pleasure in writing about it in the same way as I have enjoyed crucifying Matty.

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J��e� B� S��n�� I was rough as a badgers a*se off beer this morning, so the wife had to drive me to work. "I don't understand it." I said." I only had five pints." "I know, Dave." She replied. "But it's hardly a balanced breakfast." A man goes to the doctor. He said, "Doc, I think there may be something wrong with the pills you gave me last time." The doctor peered over his glasses, "Why do you think that Mr Jones?" "I keep veering to the left, then to the right." "I shouldn't worry about that," replied the doctor. "Those are just side effects." Telephone rings, woman answers. Pervert, breathing heavily, says "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair ?" Woman replies, "Yes, I have, He's watching the football ... Who shall I say is calling ?" According to studies, we humans only use twelve percent of our brains. Just imagine how much more intelligent we would be if we could use the other seventy. I see Saudi Arabia has a new website that allows citizens to send complaints directly to the king. If needed, you can even submit a second complaint using your remaining hand. I was down the local shop earlier when I asked for a pack of condoms. "Would you like a bag with that, sir?" he asked me. "Great idea!" I thought. "Could you poke a few eye holes in it for me as well please?" (Joke of the year for me that one - Jack Swan) What is your favourite joke by Spense? Email info@jackswan.co.uk

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Matty met up with the flying postman to see what he was up to these days. What do you think of the privatization of the royal mail? Well, it was inevitably going to happen. I was told (about it) years ago when I was a postman. I can’t comment about it really, I have still got some friends who work in that sector but I cant comment really. Your known as the flying postman, how long was you employed as a postman for? 18 months I was a postman for. I went from postman to footballer and going to somewhere like Swansea was massive, the fans took me to heart and I loved it. Are you still involved in the game if so where? I am currently coaching a young team in Birmingham that are quite good, they’ve got some good talent. There is some talented players with a few clubs sniffing around and that’s about it really I occupy my time doing bits and pieces. What was your best moment for the Swans?

Well it’s a tough one for the swans, there is so many. My first season I was top goal scorer, I don’t think we ever lost to Cardiff when I was there. I went back on loan again about 93 or 94 and we were playing in massive hail stones and we beat them again 4-0. It might have been a Welsh cup game: I’m not sure.

My best moment for Swansea was when I scored my first goal against Reading, when I first experienced the North Bank, rushing forwards when I scored that goal. We did lose 2-1 but it was a massive feeling getting the North bank on side. Did you know much about Swansea before you signed for them? Well I knew they were quite strong in the early 80s when they were in the top flight, I knew Alan Curtis, Kennedy, Leighton James. I didn’t know them but I knew of the players. They had some very good players back then, and I always remember the retro kit they used to where because it was quite different. What was your worst moment for the Swans? Worst moment would be having to leave after the great escape. Who is the best player you’ve played with in your career? In my career I would say a lad called Roy Wegerle at Coventry. He used to be a centre forward, he was an American but also a South African, he had dual nationality. He was very talented he played for Blackburn, Chelsea and QPR. I think he’s a professional golfer now but he was a very talented player, he had good feet and could make a goal and could take a goal: he had a lot of different abilities.

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W�� n��? The best player you’ve played against? The best player I have ever played against would be It doesn’t seem too long ago that we paid a monster £35,000 for Paul Connor which always springs to my mind every Eric Cantona for Manchester Utd: he was different class. time we break the bank again. We had a great return from that sum and his goals and performances went a long way in He used to win games on his own. The game we played against him, he worked hard even when he wasn’t scoring he had other attributes to his game. The second one would have been Roy Keane. Any funny stories from your time at the Swans?

Have you got any funny stories from your time at

None that can be published! Let’s just say there was a I would say anything to do time when you put the heart rate monitors on, and with Trunds really, we were there was a certain player who was overweight that put it on a dog. I am not naming any names but that was a people in the shower: I’m only joking: Andy Mcfarlane. Holland and Trunds got up funny story. It wouldn’t take you much to realize who it and done a little stand up was. Do you still keep in touch with any players at the show in the hotel we were swans? staying at for about half an You’ve stopped playing for a few years now, Football is becoming more and more professional now with At the Swans I keep in touch with Leon Britton and Tatey more and more money being pumped in to the sport, who are current players. I speak to them probably once or longest in do you think you had more fun as a payer ten years twice a month, I am still in touch withWho Johnwas Fordthe because ago than the current players? we started our career together with the swans, I see Cornie once in a blue moon like everybody else because I will be honest with you, I think it’s no different, it’s just he’s here there and everywhere. I see Leggie on a regular the media. You are more or less owned by the public basis but I don’t think he’s very popular down there really. You cant go out or do anything, Foreigners coming because I think he once said if you cut him up he will in to the game has changed it as well. Footballers are like bleed blue: hethey waswill playing Cardiff andsome waythat theywas playwhen football be upfor there. I know sheep and a lot of players come over here and their not another time he said if you cut him he will bleed white: big drinkers, football is turning that way. But the era I that was when he was playing for Swansea, so it goes to played in we had a bond and a proper team unit we lived show what type of character he is. and died for the team, people just live and die for When you signed for the swans I themselves now and what they can make. You’ve played for both clubs, was it hard going to Cardiff after playing for Swansea? player we had signed for about Who was the longest in the shower when you were at two years, was that something the swans? I was a swans player twice, I started mywere career with the aware C that you personally Swans and had a massive affiliation with the club. But at M Steady ha ha, I wouldn’t know I didn’t go round looking at the time the way I saw it Frank Burrows offered me

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because of the size of the club. Swansea are a big club and have got the fan base, they were struggling when I arrived in league 2 at the time but when I got there I couldn’t believe the fan base.

Matty: Well John Cornforth said when he’s in the bedroom with Jane he has a beard then.

so who? I speak with Tatey and Roberto quite a bit still.

trying to make sense of his questions. Matty says he was a top bloke and he was a great player for us.

P.c We’ll go for that then

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employment for a job, so I could manage to pay my bills. So the way I looked at it, do I go unemployed for the sake of Swansea fans being upset with me? Frank Burrows, the manager knew how to get the best out of me at Cardiff. I hold both clubs close to my heart because as far as I am concerned I have never been anywhere in the country where the clubs are as passionate as in South Wales. You have played for 13 professional clubs can you name them all?

the players your playing with, I mean when I was at Swansea we had some good players we had Jimmy Gilligan Russell Coughlin, Alan Davies god rest his soul. Mark Harris, Rodger Freestone, Leggy, Jenkings, Bowen, Keith Walker these were great players who had played at a higher level and who took pride in their job, they were a bunch of professional footballers that could play at a decent level. But in most of the other clubs there werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t so many house hold names and a lot of players were from the lower league, they werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the best to be honest. I went to one club down the South and I absolutely hated the club, I hated the time I was there. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t play well I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to be there the fans would probably say the same thing about me: that I was a waste of space being there but when you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel part of anything you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t perform to the best of you abilities.

Yes I can. Do you want me to start from the beginning? The very first season, 1991 I signed for the mighty Swans then I went to Coventry, Coventry to Wycombe, Wycombe to Hereford. Hereford to Walsall, Walsall to Exeter, Exeter to Cardiff, in between that time I was on loan at Notts County, Stoke, I have also played for York Darlington and back to Swansea and I finished at Kidderminster Harriers.

Do you think Swansea and Coventryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s style of football suited you? They played to my strengths. They told me to play on the shoulder of players and chase that ball and do what I do best. Either make a goal or score a goal, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what I did. When I went to Cardiff I scored 22 goals in 40 games or something and we got promoted, Frank Burrows knew how to get the best out of me.

Was there ever a club you went to that you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like the feel of the club or you werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happy at? Yes loads of them why do you think I moved so many times? When you get a bad feeling for the place and

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W�� n��? Who was the best striker you’ve played with? Or most enjoyed playing with? Good question……..Kevin Nugent both at Cardiff and Swansea, we were synchronized, he just said leave all the rubbish stuff to me: the holding and the flicking on and run and score goals. Unfortunately we were both at the end of our careers with the Swans but he’s an absolutely fantastic professional and a great bloke. You have obviously played under a lot of managers who was the best and who was the worst?

You had a great partnership with Sidibe at the Swans, He was at Stoke for a few years in the premiership, personally I think you were two good players and there wasn’t a lot between the two of you. I think you were as good a player as him in my opinion; Seeing what he did in the Premier league, do you think you could have played in the top flight? At the time when Sidibe come along, I was getting on a bit but all the experience I had playing football and learning my trade, in my opinion he was a completely different player he never scored many goals I think he scored 4 the season he got the move. He was a big powerful handful, he was similar to Julian Alsop, he had got feet and he was very quick but Alsop would always score you a goal and cause mayhem in amongst the defense. Sidabie and I both had pace and we both had an aerial threat as well.

The best manager I ever played for was super Frank, he started my career and he rejuvenated my career. He brought me back when I went over the other side I wont name the name but you know who I am talking about. The worst manager I have ever played under was Collin Addison: he was absolutely clueless. Was management something you were ever tempted to try and get in to? No, never. Living the football dream was massive for me, I never expected to get to the heights that I got to. When you’re a manager though your always one game away from the sack and to me that’s quite painful A massive thanks to Super Jonny Williams for putting up with Matty for a bit. A great bloke, I was fortunate to meet him during the Swans4Caner charity match last month and I was there when he met up with the rest of his old team mates and it was clearly obvious how respected and liked he was amongst his old colleagues. Always liked down these parts and thanks again for his time.

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B�� Sh��? �� Ad�� J��

Luke Shaw arriving at Man U was no surprise to football fans as they were very persistent with their chase for young defenders and especially the full back situation at the club. Seeing Luke Shaw with the manc top on skysports news was expected but when the price scrolled along the screen I was pretty miffed! £30 million for a left-back is ludicrous even if these club can afford it. Why would any team spend that on this position? It's a position where a team needs a player that has the qualities of strength, positioning, passing ability and pace. It's not a luxury position, he isn’t a superstar or a shirt seller so why pay 30 mil? And if the mancs feel the need to spend a billionaires pocket change, why not look at our ever reliant Ben Davies!?

11% better pass accuracy and 1 goal compared to Shaw's zero.

In 2013-14 Ben was slightly better than the 30 mil man: Ben had a 5% better pass rate, played in the Europa lge and scored 2 more than Shaw. Yes he's a young talent who played a big part in an average team getting to their highest league position but 30 mil for him? My thoughts are this: When a so called 'big club' come calling for a player then he will go and why not? It's experience, progression and silverware players desire. But to not look at the likes of Ben Davies at a mere 10 mil (we'd all take that, I'm sure) the extra 20 mil the mancs paid for Shaw is because he has an English passport isn't it? He certainly isn't any better than our Ben!

He has been as solid a left-back as any in the premiership. He's proven to the club and pundits that he does the job without any worries or thoughts of complacency from us. Isn't this all that any manager and fan would want? I understand teams spending £30 million on a creative midfielder or a goal scorer. But Luke Shaw hasn't been statistically any better than our Ben over the last 2 seasons, in fact Ben has been overall a better left-back than him. In 2012-13 campaign Ben created 8 more chances than him, and held an

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�Ic��e� � �� M�n��

Above: Steve Nicholas shows off his Swans shirt in Zante Top Left: Cosmo Collins shows off the new kit. Left: Iolo Collins at swans training open day! Bottom Left: Bony and Laura Thomas at the Swans awards dinner. Top Right: Liberty May Jones with the gaffa. Right: Liberty May Jones and Theo Llewellyn in their Swans kits.

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En� � �� Sw�n�e� W��?

Has the arrival of one player ever asked so many questions? Whether the wage structure, our style of play, our current player’s future, the signing of Bafetimbi Gomis has potentially changed course of the club forever. Potentially on up to £80,000 a week, the French international was hot property this summer and the fact that he opted for the club shows once again how far we have come and the ambition of the board. Have we now overtaken the likes of Newcastle with appeal? Is the lure of the Liberty really greater than that of St James’ Park? The logical finances of the deal made sense. Whether or not it is the reality or not, time will possibly tell but this is a player that we were willing to part with up to £8 million for last summer and have signed on a ‘free transfer’ on a 4 year deal. I have a calculator on my computer (only the best technology here at Jack Swan HQ) which tells me that £8 million over four years works out as £38,461.54p per week and so this saving would bring the actual cost of his wages back down to a reasonable fee for the board. But is that good enough? Are Ashley Williams and Wilfried Bony happy enough with him earning twice what they earn? Would it be wrong of them to be upset about that? I hope that ‘on paper’ Gomis is technically on around the 40k a week mark and that the extra 40k is wormed into a signing on fee or performance related bonus’s. If not any wage structure will certainly be blown out of the window, if it hasn’t been already. Can of worms opened? Are two mentions of worms in one paragaph too many? So many questions.

The signing is certainly an exciting one and one which shows a massive sign of intent (assuming that he isn’t Bonys replacement) and I don’t want to put a ‘downer’ on it but it really could change the whole make-up of the club. We know Huw Jenkins is a shrewd and tight businessman and that the board have got the big decisions right time and time again but we also know that it is very easy to get carried away with your own success. 13 years ago, Ipswich and their Chairman David Sheepshanks was the model of how to run a club. Achieving a 5th placed finish with a club earning profit, they signed Finidi George amongst other named players and relegation saw their finances in turmoil, reputation in tatters and a total change of style of play. ‘The Swansea Way’ (not the excellent Swansea City blog but our actual ethos) has got us where we are today, our Tiki Taka possession style football, our tight unit of players and our sensible and strict financial security have won us plaudits from all across the country. This ‘free’ signing has potentially changed the Swansea way. It may mark the start of a new chapter, with greater ambitions, different style and potentially bigger named players. If Garry Monk and the board can keep some of the ethos which the dressing room has had over the last few years then this could be an even more exciting chapter of the club than the Premier League has been so far. Get it wrong and we could be another one of those clubs paying excessive wages in the lower leagues. Are we becoming just another club? One signing. Many, many questions.

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T��h�� Cardiff City Supporters Trust Gutted. Go again next year!

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Cardiff City Supporters Trust We will never sell ourselves. We are Blue. We Will Never Play in Red No mater what!!! 12 YearsAgo Ago 2 Years

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Q�� - W�� C�� S�e�i�� 1)

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Wha� t� d� �i�� Mi��?

This time last year we were bracing ourselves for excessive bids for our best player. £30 million was the general fee from the man who surely had the greatest debut season in the history of the club.

Twelve months on and he’s still here in person and with every rumour under the sun going round about our Spanish international, what do we do with him? The first thing is does he want to be here? Are all the rumours just that or are there major problems with him and with him and the club. If so, then we must want him out of the club as fast as possible and for any money that we can get, whether a quarter of our £30 million drunken-estimate or less. It is obviously possible that everything that has come out of the club is true. It does sometimes happen that players get injured and take longer to come back than expected; it could simply be that last season was a bit of a write-off and he will be all firing this season. I disagree with basically everyone about his form last season. Although he didn’t net the goals which he did at the start of last term, he was absolutely outstanding until his injury. Let’s not forget that it was on this form where he won his sole cap, ahead of Negrado who started the season on fire. He is clearly an insane talent and on form is one of the better players in the entre league but it is difficult to picture where he can set-up in our team next season. It would be fantastic for him, Gomis and Bony to all compete for two positions

up top but I don’t think we would get the best out of Michu playing that way. There have been rumours of dressing room unrest and he clearly comes across like a character, a bit of a loner at times and someone who seems to have a ‘deep’ personality. He potentially has a lot of similar characteristics to Laudrup in as much as they both seem to enjoy time away from football and distance themselves from the group and it could be that he wasn’t happy with the way that the man who brought him here was treated. I must admit that I generally accept that we know bugger all. I get passed every rumour under the sun, from the grounds men, to friends of the kit lady, to ex-players and friends of current players but the fact is that we don’t really know what is going on with him and time will tell. I first of all hope that he’s well. I hope he’s happy in himself and I would love to see him playing with the edge and enjoyment that he used to. It would be fantastic to see him doing that in a Swans shirt but I do doubt as to whether that will be the case. Regardless, I really hope that he’s remembered in these parts with love and appreciation because he has been fantastic for us. I do expect that he will be gone by our next issue and so I would like to say Gracias por los recuerdos to him as I know that Jack Swan is his favourite ever magazine. I’m sure that he will be reading our magazines online should he depart which I still hope he doesn’t.

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EV�N M�� r�� S��n�� JOKE OF THE MONTH4

A Platoon was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an insurgent, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was a soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the platoon commander asked the injured soldier what had happened. The soldier reported, "I was moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Gordon Brown is a fat, good-for-nothing, left wing ****, and Lord Mandelson is a cross-dressing power mad idiot. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian. He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Harriet Harman!"

Above: Norwegian betting slip where someone has bet on Suarez biting someone in World Cup

"And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a bus hit us." I knew this girl who wanted bigger boobs, but couldn't afford proper implants, so she had her uncle make her a false set out of pine. Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though, wooden tit?

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My little one struggles to make fiends, it seems that when we are in a play group, it is always him on his own while the others play together. How should I encourage him to play with the other kids?

All children are different but yet should be treated the same. If he refuses to play with other children then lock them all in a cupboard together where they are forced to play with each other. First of all, just lock them in for a small period of time, maybe just an hour or two but if he still wont play with the other kids you should increase this. I remember when Luis was little, he had similar problems. At one stage I managed to lock his whole classroom with him under my stairs for three days. When they came out, they were so happy and got on great after that. The teacher was a bit upset though but I wasn’t to know that it was her wedding day. We live in a very multi-cultural area and it seems that my 5 year old will only play with other white kids. How do I get him to play with others? Teach him funny nicknames for other races and religions.

Making other races into funnily named people will always go down well. In Uruguay, we have different names for all sorts of different religions and races and we rarely have any problems of racism. Luis now has loads of friends from different racial backgrounds. He even has some Scouser friends. What to do if your child bites another kid? Kids bite, it is what they do. More often than not the other child deserved it. Sit them both down, find out what happens and if the child did deserve it then get your child to bite him again for moaning about it. If he didn’t deserve it then get their child to bite your kid and then they are both even. It is simply a way of expressing themselves. It is no different to shaking someone’s hand or giving someone a kiss. It is an emotion which is being released in a physical act. I would encourage it

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It has been 56 years since a Swansea City player graced a world cup and so for many of us, this summer has been quite a weird affair. Bony, De Guzman and Ki have all played their parts in what have undoubtedly been the best group stages of a World Cup ever. Will we ever stay up until the early hours to watch Ivory Coast play Japan again?

It is the biggest shop window for football players. There are massive scouting networks around the globe now and so you would be forgiven (Toni De Freitas) for thinking that the days of a relatively unknown player being thrown into the lime light was over, but it hasn’t.

Four years ago it was Ozil who lit up the World Cup and got his big money move to Real Madrid, Khedira joined Alright, I didn’t either but I thought about it! But there is a him there that summer after the pair gave a bit of style new and bizarre interest in the greatest tournament on and sexy football to the notoriously boring Germans. earth. And what do we want from these players? We can But this World Cup, isn’t only the first that we have our wish Bony well. We can get annoyed that Drogba is own players playing in for over half a centaury. It is the first playing instead of him but the alternative is that he scores time ever that we are the buyers! a few goals, becomes the surprise hero of the world cup and inevitably moves to one of Europe’s elite. I am watching games and thinking that I like the look of that right back for Ghana. Quick google the boy, plays for But at least we own him. At least we get an extra couple of some African club, yeah, lets get him. There are probably million for every goal he scores (assuming there isn’t a more players playing in this World Cup that we could buy-out clause, which there probably is). I watch JDG and I tempt to SA1 than would refuse. For most the players, we have no idea what I want, partly because after two are now the reward for top seasons, I still don’t know if I like performances, we are the him but mainly because he will end result for years of hard be worth an extra million for work and training, we wont every good performance he does be getting the Ozil of this and we are the buyers. world cup but……………and I want I must admit that I could wish Ki lots of gaps to think before I well from a totally relaxed and ask this question…………… uncaring yet slightly uncomforta………………. ble and undersized sofa. We can ……………….How many only win from him performing clubs in the world would well; he is an unforgotten player Harrison Afful (you can work among our ranks. If he plays out who he is) rather join superbly well and we keep him than us? then it’s great to have an in form World Cup superstar wearing our If you are reading this in the new kit (which I hope grows on pub, that should be a good me). But if he plays so well that debate. Enjoy! we get a thirty five trillion pound bid from a Qatar group then so be it.

Scout Report from Ian Harding Muhammed Besic - 21 yr old - Bosnia - CB/CDM Young, hard working, tough tackling, good ball player. Would fit in perfectly at Swansea City. Can play as a defensive midfielder or as a Centre back. Currently playing for Ferencvaros in Hungary. Would be well within a Swans budget, but other clubs are rumoured to be interested I.e. Arsenal and Fenerbahçe. Go have a look Huw!!!!!!

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