Issue 19 by Jack Swan

Issue #19

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Words From Jack Swan Contents

It seems like we need to kiss goodbye to the Saturday afternoon for a while. Get your overtime in and stick it away for a trip to Turin. On that note, we came up with a Gem down the pub. All good ideas start in a pub and this is no different. Stick £20 on the Swans getting to the final and if they do, you’ve got your trip paid for. I like it anyway.

It usually takes a good few weeks to work out where you are and where you are not. The top four or five are usually self explanatory but after that it takes a while to see who will be struggling and who will be flying. Our friends down the road are lucky enough to already know that they’re a cert for the top four though…….. Let’s just say that I’m looking forward to the league table in a few weeks. It has been alright. Qualification to group stages of Europe was as easy as I expected to be honest, a tough group but I don’t think anyone wanted us in their group. The start of our league campaign was always going to be tough, in truth; most of us would have taken the three points from the first three games. We’ll look really pretty with a win against Brenda and his bunch of ‘league winner’ (another set of fans getting slightly carried away). We ran a small online survey, I say small as though it was designed to be so but getting people to fill it in was like getting Suarez to say ‘sorry’. But then, I wouldn’t fill in your survey either. Far better things to do like check my fantasy team for the twelfth time today. We did have some great feedback though and are working on improving where suggested. We do welcome feedback and ways to improve the magazine. I hope you see continued improvement in it but we will never, ever produce a magazine without a spelling mastike.

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04: Jack Bastard

Jack Swan meets Mel Nurse in our new bid to find who is the biggest Jack Bastard of all time.

12: Geraint Evans 1 reason we should all shut up about it

14: Simon Robbins A Swan amongst the Redbirds

16: Pictures of the month 18: What the Fans think 20: Where are they now? Matty interviews John Cornforth

26: 28: 40: 42: 46:

Caption Cop / Who am I? Jokes by Spense Picture Quiz Race to Player of the Year Quote Jack Swan

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Throughout this season we are looking for the biggest ‘Jack Bastard’ of all time. We will look at a different person in each Souza mental, Chico even more crazy than you’d think and describes Michu as a foreign exchange student that I think, I issue this season and have a vote at the end of the season to find who is to be crowned the biggest ‘Jack bastard’

The first person we are looking at is the one and only Mel Nurse. Mel had two spells at the club in his playing days and no-way prove. Just to make it clear, this isn’t a spoof event; this is a genuine story of what I believe to have happened as hung up his boots long before any of our current squad were in nappies. Many a fan from that time would tell you what a fierce and determined player on the field he was Firstly, and not surprising from television interviews and stories about him but what a top bloke he is (even if he hadn’t back then and thankfully he hadn’t lost those attributes in the early time of the new millennium. clubs have won trophies but only one has this magazine and he had never even seen one, either that or he’s seen every

Mel was instrumental in dis-lodging Tony Petty and will always be regarded as the saviour of our club. It is impossible to predict where we would be should he of not been around in 2001 but he is certainly a Jack bastard and a great His book which he was promoting actually sounds quite interesting. I don’t mean to sound surprised but I’m not one to person to start this section off with.

I had the great pleasure of meeting with Mel in the Sea only looks at our maiden season in the Premiership and actually does sound worth a read. A bit steep I though, I expect What was the club like when you joined?

Swansea Town, I joined the Vetch, I came from a council house background. Living in-between Cwmbwrla and Penclawdd. I lived local and because I was able to play a bit what their parents said. In those days you had no choice, of football, I was captain of the school team. I played for the you did what they would say. Today, 15 year olds will tell school and then all of a sudden, they sent me up to school their parents where to go, go jump in the river – no respect boys, I was shaking. When you want to do something and for them. I was lucky that my parents never forced me to do then go there and take a test, and you want it so badly then anything, I could do what I wanted to do and I was you are afraid to fail. There were hundreds of boys up there privileged. I always put that down as a privileged situation. on trial from all different school, under 15s but if you were a big boy then you could get away with it at 14. I was a big <Later on> I was in the side at left half and I wanted to play boy for 14 and so I could get away with it. He read out the centre-half. You can’t take risks at centre-half, we got a few New Williams was workingabout in a petrol station in Birmingham to topJust up his the go former names, <ofYork. whoWhile were Ashley going through> mentioned down there now, ballerinas. do football your job!wage, – I wont forty players and I was preying that he’d call my name and into names. Left half is a different role, I wasn’t in control pre-season they shared hotel theand New that Angel played for and AshMorris smiled(manager) to himselfand thinking he eventually did.tour I wanted to playafor thewith Swans if York side <there> so I went to see Trevor say, ‘I he anyone got in my way <WHAM> I’d whack them one. don’t want to play left half, I want to play centre half’. He’s Eventually, I played for the schoolboys for two years. Had looking at me and saying ‘what’s wrong with you? You’re in scouts from Arsenal, West Brom, Chelsea but I didn’t want the first team - £20 a week’. I said ‘I don’t care about the to go there, I wanted to play down the Vetch. I was lucky, I money, I want to play centre half’ he said ‘your not going to was privileged. When I left a school a lot of good players play in the first team at centre half’ so I said ‘I don’t care never went into the football business because they needed where I play, play me in the Colts, I don’t care, as long as I to work to bring home money for the family, for the other play centre half’ I was only 20. So he put me in the children. I felt sorry for them. They had no choice but to do Combination team, (reserves) in that team we had Brian

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Hughes right half and Malcolm Penny left half and what a me. They wanted me in the team because if there was balance we created. I was the one good in the air that went anything niggly on the pitch then BANG I’d sort it out t for all the balls – centre forwards would mark me, not the protect my team. I miss that. But they (United) allowed Heway wasaround. actuallyWithin complimentary aboutMorris Souzatook too; Ithe thoughtMorgan I’d lure and you Colin in with the ‘mental’ jibe he said other no time, Trevor Webster to join thebut Swans withthat the whole half line out of the first team and swapped them prevision that I would go to Man Utd. At that time Jimm maybe that he the players felt theonsame withexcept us in the reserves. Weand then went 19 games a trotas us fans Murphy who was manager of Wales was also running t whendefeat. he left.We ‘Wigan? I know they’re Premier league without had a balance; they were never goingbut to United team because Matt Busby was injured from the they’re nous. bigger than us’. score against crash. I can say it now as Jimmy isn’t around but whene we’d go anywhere with Wales, Jimmy would sit next to On a possible move elsewhere he obviously said the and say ‘son, there is only one club’, I didn’t know what inevitable, political of being happy here but he alsowas on about. How dull could I of been? Would you have gonestance to united? acknowledged that nobody leaves SA1 for the better. Saying I had the opportunity but it wasn’t Could you of forced a transfer throug within it and so the wellclub elsewhere. down to me. I didnot what told No, it was down to the club. We only ev me to do and it was similar for got offered a one year contract. Becaus everyone. A player didn’t have an when a Stockport option. See that photomanager by there?disliked him and left him out of once you signed that contract, you wer the starting each week. He also remembers disliking <Pointing at oneeleven of numerous photo tied to the club as long as that club wan his very early days at WBA you. If they don’t want to sell you then memorabilia on the wall> thatwhere was a he rarely played at all. I do feel that, especially this stage you’re not going anywhere. At the end friendly between us andatUnited, a of his career, playing week in week outfinished is vital to him and that any possible move which great game, 6-4, Bobby the season we were hopingONLY that they w ALL DAY - MONDAY - THURSDAY going to offer you another contract. Nowadays people Charlton and everyone. After the game Matt Busby made Carling Extra Cold £2.55 per pint be unappealing. a 4, 5, 6 year contract. Who knows what’s round the cor an offer for me. I knew nothing about it. But if the club would sell me then I would go. I wanted to play football. You could break your leg. HeMorris, did mention thatsaid he might consider move Trevor I’ve never this before but ahe sold abroad me up in the Worthington £2.40 per pint the river, he didn’t like my attitude because I wouldn’t let him dictate to me. On the pitch I would but not off it. He Did you ever consider football management? Coors Light £2.40 per pint tried to be-little me. Nobody would run with me, I’d be in training an hour before everyone else and would run ten I was potential management material because wherev laps before anyone got in but still they wouldn’t run with have gone, they made me skipper within two days of m

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Hughes right half and Malcolm Penny left half and what a balance we created. I was the one good in the air that went for all the balls – centre forwards would mark me, not the other way around. Within no time, Trevor Morris took the whole half line out of the first team and swapped them with us in the reserves. We then went 19 games on a trot without defeat. We had a balance; they were never going to score against us. Would you have gone to united?

me. They wanted me in the team because if there was anything niggly on the pitch then BANG I’d sort it out to protect my team. I miss that. But they (United) allowed Ken Morgan and Colin Webster to join the Swans with the prevision that I would go to Man Utd. At that time Jimmy Murphy who was manager of Wales was also running the United team because Matt Busby was injured from the air crash. I can say it now as Jimmy isn’t around but whenever we’d go anywhere with Wales, Jimmy would sit next to me and say ‘son, there is only one club’, I didn’t know what he was on about. How dull could I of been?

I had the opportunity but it wasn’t Could you of forced a transfer through down to me. I did what the club told me to do and it was similar for No, it was down to the club. We only ever everyone. A player didn’t have an got offered a one year contract. Because once you signed that contract, you were option. See that photo by there? tied to the club as long as that club wanted <Pointing at one of numerous photo memorabilia on the wall> that was a you. If they don’t want to sell you then friendly between us and United, a The two Mel’s - Nurse & Charles you’re not going anywhere. At the end of the season we were hoping that they were great game, finished 6-4, Bobby going to offer you another contract. Nowadays people sign Charlton and everyone. After the game Matt Busby made an offer for me. I knew nothing about it. But if the club a 4, 5, 6 year contract. Who knows what’s round the corner? would sell me then I would go. I wanted to play football. You could break your leg. Trevor Morris, I’ve never said this before but he sold me up the river, he didn’t like my attitude because I wouldn’t let him dictate to me. On the pitch I would but not off it. He Did you ever consider football management? tried to be-little me. Nobody would run with me, I’d be in training an hour before everyone else and would run ten I was potential management material because wherever I laps before anyone got in but still they wouldn’t run with have gone, they made me skipper within two days of me

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going there. Down the Vetch, club skipper. Went to Middlesbrough, within two days, I had two fights and they made me club skipper. But from then on it’s not about bullying people, it’s about helping people. <after retirement> I sat here with big John (Charles) and at the time he was manager of Merthyr and he stood there and he asked how I felt and said would I play for him. I didn’t know where he was at the time, he said Merthyr, I couldn’t afford to play football, travelling away at weekends, leaving my wife with three kids to run a hotel and I thought what was I doing here? Those days had gone. I hadn’t lost the hunger of football but the thought of leaving my wife to run the hotel with three kids and 17 people booking in a night. Leigh Deneen recently said on TV that he ‘understood’ Tony Petty, what did you think? Tony Petty was a nice likeably bloke, very intelligent, the only thing wrong was that he wasn’t a Swansea person. As he wasn’t, He got offered the club on for a pound, he thought he was doing the right thing. At the time I was the remaining director of the club along with Mike Lewis. I told Petty ‘You think your doing the best for the club but your not because any player earning over £100 a week, your getting rid of but that would just leave kids and you can’t put kids against men in the football league’ look at Wrexham now, they have been out of the league for 5 years and its going to take them years to come back. Tony Petty would sit there and the only thing he had to do was this, but he didn’t realise it and if he had done it I would have gone, the club would have gone. All he had to

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do was say to me ‘look Mel, I’m very sorry but I don’t need you anymore, I have my board of directors and I don’t need you’ and I’d walk away, then I wouldn’t of been able to do what I did because as a director of the club, I had grounds to fight him. I didn’t realise until afterwards otherwise I’d of been showing a bit of ‘not trying to upset him’. So was Tony Petty the Evil person that the media made him out to be? No he wasn’t. In the footballing world, we are doing well now, everyone is praising everyone and saying how fantastic everyone is, if things go wrong, if by tonight Michu goes and Williams goes. Its hot and cold, people rightfully, pay to watch, overpay at the moment but their entitled to their opinion. Mike Lewis wanted half a million for the club. Not for himself, for ninth floor, who we owed the debt to… Mike Lewis got bad press to I don’t know how that come about because I never knew Petty before he signed for it. It was never mentioned, all I knew was that Alan Wicks was the owner of the club and Alan put the club in Mikes hands to sell on because Alan lived in London. On a daily basis, I would pop down and ask Mike if anyone had popped forward, over a three month period which was the limit. I’m not going to be very kind to Mike because while it was up for sale I met Mike up at the bar in a charity event. I asked if anything was happening and he said ‘no’, only a couple of days before the deadline. I said ‘Mike, I’ve thought about it and I’ll give £400,000 for the club, we all remain as directors, keep it running as it is, all I want to do is retain it’. He asks ‘am I sure?’ I said ‘not really but I can’t see

The Pontardawe Inn the club failing’ and we left it like that. Not long after that, Petty signed. I’m clearing out a load of newspapers out the back the other day, the next thing I know I read this paper, took me 4 hours to go through them all. One paper said Mike Lewis made a statement and Mel has made an offer but the

one who has to do all the nitty-gritty. I wouldn’t want to it. I didn’t want to do it ten years ago <when> We sat by there and Huw came on behalf of the other lads and sai that ‘they had discussed it and we want you to become chairman’ I said leave me alone, I’ve got enough on my plate now

F��e� W�lc�� P��va�� D��n� Ro�� What do you make of the club today, is £35 acceptab Cy��ist� �n� W��r� W�lc�� to charge a fan today? N�x� t� Na�i�n�� Cy�� R�u�� 43 In our days, to watch the Swans would cost you 6 pense weeks wage was £8. Say some were just under a pound L�r�� Outdo�� Sea��n� A�e� day. It’s down to the club, with all the money that they a getting from TV and the football league and everything A�� Sw�n�e� Ci�� G��e� else, theySh�� should be lowering L�� the price for people to co in but their not doing that. The thing is is that I think tha H�� t� ‘Gig� Y Gwa��’ W�l�� S�e��n� St�� stupid. The income from the TV and football league is banks have refused to allow him to do it. I didn’t. Because within a couple of weeks I got the money for a million pound. We chat for a bit about the developments of Oystermouth road over the years:

tremendous, they should be bringing the price to come COMING at a level where the averageUP person can afford it, not fin difficult to Sept do it. The they are doing it is keeping in Sat 7th – way Golden Company everyone else, if Cardiff Sat 14th Sept – with Spitfire put it up then we will put it Sat 21st Sept - Thirteen and that’s wrong.

Sat 28th Sept – No Direction Sat Oct 5th – Steve’s It was 40th an absolute pleasur meet Mel Nurse. The guy i With Manhattan Project and Special Guests

hero of mine and all Swan fans alike. He had so much Halloween Beer Festival & Fancy time for us and just seeme to have time everyone Dress Friday 1st Novemberfor Live has stayed true to his root music from the Nomads money seems irrelevant to him unlike the majority of players today. We will look 9 other Jack Bastards this season but they will do we to top this guy in my opini

Talking about transport progressing football has done that as well. I think I could cope but I wouldn’t like to. At my age and the responsibility and the money involved. Huw Jenkins is from one country to another, its unbelievable now, it’s a full time job he has there, 110% of time. He never gets away from it and the public wont let him get away from it. The directors are different, although they help, they are not responsible, they are eventually but he got to go through the board of directors for everything he does but he’s the

We are looking for a fa make up our ten Bastards. Who is the biggest Swans fan you know? D he/she deserve to be in the running for our prestig title? Email jack-swan@live.c

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banks have refused to allow him to do it. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Because within a couple of weeks I got the money for a million pound.

the club failingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and we left it like that. Not long after that, Petty signed. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m clearing out a load of newspapers out the back the other day, the next thing I know I read this paper, took me 4 hours to go through them all. One paper said Mike Lewis made a statement and Mel has made an offer but the

one who has to do all the nitty-gritty. I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to do it. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to do it ten years ago <when> We sat by there and Huw came on behalf of the other lads and said that â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;they had discussed it and we want you to become chairmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; I said leave me alone, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got enough on my plate now What do you make of the club today, is ÂŁ35 acceptable to charge a fan today? In our days, to watch the Swans would cost you 6 pense. A weeks wage was ÂŁ8. Say some were just under a pound a day. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s down to the club, with all the money that they are getting from TV and the football league and everything else, they should be lowering the price for people to come in but their not doing that. The thing is is that I think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stupid. The income from the TV and football league is tremendous, they should be bringing the price to come in at a level where the average person can afford it, not find it difficult to do it. The way they are doing it is keeping in line with everyone else, if Cardiff put it up then we will put it up and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong. It was an absolute pleasure to meet Mel Nurse. The guy is a hero of mine and all Swans fans alike. He had so much time for us and just seemed to have time for everyone. He has stayed true to his roots, money seems irrelevant to him unlike the majority of players today. We will look at 9 other Jack Bastards this season but they will do well to top this guy in my opinion.

We chat for a bit about the developments of Oystermouth road over the years: Talking about transport progressing football has done that as well. I think I could cope but I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like to. At my age and the responsibility and the money involved. Huw Jenkins is from one country to another, its unbelievable now, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a full time job he has there, 110% of time. He never gets away from it and the public wont let him get away from it. The directors are different, although they help, they are not responsible, they are eventually but he got to go through the board of directors for everything he does but heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the

We are looking for a fan to make up our ten Jack Bastards. Who is the biggest Swans fan you know? Does he/she deserve to be in the running for our prestigious title? Email jack-swan@live.co.uk

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1 Reas�� W� Sh��l� A�� S�u� U� Ab�u� I� So, the transfer window is closed for another few months and while the Swans didn’t see a lot of deadline day action it looks to me like we’ve done pretty well over the summer. We got in 9 or 10 lads and while I question the logic of bringing in De Guzman on loan and then letting Ki go out The squad looks pretty strong to me. We had a tough start, it was always going to be, but I’m positive we can really push on this season with the players we have. That’s not what this article is about though. Every time a window closes my facebook/twitter feed is filled by people complaining about the wages footballers earn. I don’t get it. These people either know nothing about football or more worryingly don’t understand we live in a capitalist society with the concept of a free market. I’m not defending the idea that as a society we pay teenagers millions of pounds a year to do something they’d likely be doing anyway, but that’s our fault. I get that most people probably do a job far more worthy than kicking a ball around. Whether you’re a nurse, in a call-centre or on the bins we can pretty much guarantee you’re doing a harder job. You can talk about how hard they train these days, you can talk about the media obligations, the stricter attitudes towards lifestyle (Fergie would have kicked out George best for his antics), but it’s not the same is it? Those guys don’t have to worry about bills, about being sick for too long or any other of the minor catastrophes that would leave the rest of us eating baked beans for a month. But that’s not how it works, it’s not a case of worthiness, it’s a case of worth. Until the day that we, in our thousands, start turning up to pay £30 quid each (at least) to watch a nurse empty a bedpan it isn’t going to change. Until the major TV companies start battling over rights to cover a 12 hour shift in Iceland, what we do will not be worth as much. So what do we do? As I see it we’ve got two options. Full scale revolution, where we turn society on its head and usher in a new dawn of socialism, or we stop complaining. They are where they are because we like them Geraint Evans During Stand-up there, not just us either, footballers earn ridiculous wages globally. As a planet we have decided that the joy they bring us is worth more than what is worthy. Until it’s not, we should be fine with that. Geraint Evans is a writer, stand-up comedian and regularly irate member of the internet. You can find his twitter/facebook details at www.geraintdafyddevans.com

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A Sw�� m�ngs� �� Re��rd� Probably the least desirable place for a Swansea fan to live is Cardiff, which is exactly where I’ve been for the last 8 years. It’s been alright for most of that time, as the Swans have been rapidly improving while the Bluebirds have been snatching defeat from the jaws of victory with fantastic regularity. Usually at Wembley. But now they’re in the Premier League thanks to Vincent Tan’s millions things aren’t quite as much fun. I haven’t seen a picture of a Cardiff player crying at Wembley for ages. After their victory parade when they won the championship in May, I could hear their fans walking around the streets chanting ‘you jack bastards, we’re coming for you.’ I thought this was directed at me, and my house was about to be set alight by some Redbird hooligans. Luckily it was just some kids who were unfortunate to be born on the wrong side of Bridgend and have probably never seen football played the way it should be, the Swansea way. I can’t wait to see Michu et al destroy their defence. Although they have definitely improved, and obviously did well to beat Man City, we are in a different class nowadays and better than them in every department. The only players I’d have in the Swans team would be Caulker and Bellamy. I’m still amazed Caulker left Spurs to join that lot – he obviously didn’t learn anything from his previous stay in South Wales, and he’s sure to get a hostile welcome on his Liberty return. But he’s made his choice now, and has strengthened what looks a pretty good defence. When they face us on November 3rd I think we’ll have too much for

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them, but one thing in their favour will be our heavy fixture list. We’ll get a good idea of how we’ll cope this month as we play Liverpool home on Monday 16th, Valencia away on Thursday 16th then Palace away on Sunday 22nd. A long week with a lot of travelling, but these are the things you have to expect when you’re Wales’ no.1 team. The locals have been getting a bit cocky lately, and after they beat Man City they celebrated like they’d won the Champions League. Similarly to when we got promoted 2 seasons ago, their crowds are getting bigger and they can expect several sell-outs this season. One thing that’s been disappointing for us has been our attendances for the Europa League games – only 16,000 and 12,000 for Malmo and Petrolul Ploesti respectively. Was everyone else on holiday? As Delia Smith would say ‘Where are you, let’s be avin’ you.” Supporters should be taking advantage of the £20 tickets to go and see some of the best players to wear a Swansea shirt, and in Michu one of the best ever (he’s right up there with Jon Coates in my opinion.) So sort it out and get behind the team for every game – who knows how long our European adventure will last, and when we’ll get another chance. Although I’ve heard some pundits predicting we’ll challenge the top 6 this season, I think seventh is the best we can do – and that itself would be amazing. All I really want is to finish in the top 10 and take 6 points off Malky’s boys. Since their prootion, Simon has resorted to this disguise.

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A Swansea wining Captain at Wembley, a Welsh international and an adopted Jack. John Cornforth is still held in very high regard down SA1 and Matty (who has been a bit lazy of late) got speaking to him to see what he was up to. Are you still involved in the game and if so, where? I’ve been coaching abroad for the last four or five years, I’ve been in the Philippines and Kuwait. I’ve been coaching away, before obviously I coached Newport county and Torquay but it’s been a bit of a struggle to get back in to things. The job came up abroad so its turned in to a bit of an adventure, but I’m back in the north east now in Sunderland looking to get in to football in some capacity. What was your best moment for the swans? Getting the captaincy, I was always captain at different clubs but getting a good run in the side in Swansea especially after breaking my leg. I snapped my shin after about 3 games back and when I asked Frank for the captaincy, I walked in the door and he thought I would have been in about 3 weeks earlier after jimmy Gilligan retired. But getting the captaincy and leading the team out at Wembley and getting man of the match, was the best time of my career at the swans? What was your worst moment at the swans? Got to be losing to West Brom in the play offs, also losing to Birmingham we got beat when they brought that stupid sudden death goal in and we had hit the post and had a goal disallowed. We should have gone through because it was onside so that was difficult to take but the West Brom game was an absolute killer.

Have you got any hard feelings towards the swans? Not at all, had the best time of my career down there, I try to get down as much as I can. I love the city and I love the club. What they are doing at the minute from where we was when I was there, I think Huw Jenkins and the board should be bloody knighted they have done an amazing job. Who is the best player you have ever played with? It’s got to be either Gary Speed or Ryan Giggs, I was lucky enough to play with them both for Wales. Giggsy played when I went away to Bulgaria and I played with Gary for Wales as well. Two amazing lads and two great players.

Best player you’ve played against? Probably Hristo Stoichkov For Bulgaria or Georgi Kinkladze for Georgia. Any Funny stories from your time at the swans? There are loads, but me and Rodger had this bus driver

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the bench the fist couple of games. I think Williams has been a rock at the back. I think they might have a chan one of the cups again. I quite like ki who’s gone on loan Sunderland I think he is a good lad I was a bit surprised that. I think they will do well, Swansea play an unbeliev style of football, I think they will finish mid table and be good bet for one of the cups again.

If Harry Potter has magical powers why does he nee wear glasses? You’ve got me there, why does he need glasses? Well obviously he watches Cardiff doesn’t he?

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was a Moriston girl9am and- 1pm my kids were born in Swansea and Open Monday - Friday & 2pm - 5pm I always I wouldn’t play for Cardiff. I probably lost out Saturday 10asaid - 1pm

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on a lot of money because of a couple of promotions. Leggie was there at the time. But in 1999 I went there on a free transfer. Frank rang and I didn’t have a club, he said I would like you to come in for a month. I ended up going there, it was awful like, I used to have a police escort after games all the fans were hiding by the back of my car. I went to watch a Wales game in the millennium and a group of Cardiff fans tried to jump me. I had to get a police escort out of the game. It was ridiculous my name would come on the tanoy and both sets of fans would be booing. I had to sign for them because I didn’t have a job but it was awful!

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called Ken and he was about 60 odd and he used to drive the swans and we used to make sandwiches for him and we used to stick playing cards in the middle of his sandwich so he would be driving along trying to bight the sandwich with playing cards hanging out his mouth. Me and Rodger did his bedroom the night before Wembley, he was having a few beers and we knew he had been on the bitter so we cling-filmed his toilet and we took his pallets from his bed so his bed would collapse. So he went to the toilet and left a mess all over the cling film and me and Rodge, were waiting for him to go back to bed then we heard the bed collapse and we were p#ssing ourselves laughing.

In 1999 your career took a downward spiral and you signed for the scum, how was that for you? Well I had the chance to sign for Cardiff about two years earlier when I was at Wycome, Frank Burrows was manager and he rang us. It probably cost me a lot of money because I declined the offer because my girlfriend was a Moriston girl and my kids were born in Swansea and I always said I wouldn’t play for Cardiff. I probably lost out on a lot of money because of a couple of promotions. Leggie was there at the time. But in 1999 I went there on a free transfer. Frank rang and I didn’t have a club, he said I would like you to come in for a month. I ended up going there, it was awful like, I used to have a police escort after games all the fans were hiding by the back of my car. I went to watch a Wales game in the millennium and a group of Cardiff fans tried to jump me. I had to get a police escort out of the game. It was ridiculous my name would come on the tanoy and both sets of fans would be booing. I had to sign for them because I didn’t have a job but it was awful! How do you think the swans will do this season?, where do you think they will finish? I am not quite sure, last year obviously wining the cup was amazing. I don’t understand why Bony had been on CALL NOW 01639 761318 Professional Home Improvement Services 07986 521996

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John played 149 times for the Swans between 1991 and 1996. He famously scored one goal while playing for Cardiff and then did the ‘swim away’ celebration towards the Ninium Park faithful (sadly that never happened). A huge thanks to John for putting up with Matty for a bit. Matty said the guy was brilliant, a great laugh and a proper Jack. Thanks again.

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If Harry Potter has magical powers why does he need to wear glasses? You’ve got me there, why does he need glasses? Well obviously he watches Cardiff doesn’t he? How doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Well he’s got a beard when he’s in the bedroom with Jane hasn’t he.

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We took the A4. i'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum. Just need help getting it off the ground. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. "Jesus loves you." A wonderful thing to hear in a church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. My mate took his Granddad to one of those fancy Health Spa's, where tiny little fish eat all the dead skin. It cost him ÂŁ35, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 2. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant. 3. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 4. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 5. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 6. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

We took the A4. i'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum. Just need help getting it off the ground. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. "Jesus loves you." A wonderful thing to hear in a church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. My mate took his Granddad to one of those fancy Health Spa's, where tiny little fish eat all the dead skin. It cost him £35, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 2. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant. 3. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 4. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 5. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 6. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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Sp�� In��

Jack Swan met up with Joe Allen and Brendan Rogers to have a chat about their return to the Liberty.

Is there any bad feeling towards him among the players Joe?

Hi both, thanks for meeting with us. What is it like to be back?

Brendan: No there isn’t. I weren’t bad on the football pitch either by the way. Just going back to Joe’s point. Joe often says that I could still play at the top, don’t you Joe

Brendan: It is always nice to come back to a club where you are worshiped so much. It will feel a little awkward when we win with ease but it is nice. Joe: Its great, get to see some of the old players, get back to Narbeth and it is always an honour to be in the same stadium as Michael Laudrup. The mans a genius, both on and off the field. Would it be fair to say that it was a difficult Summer with the whole Suarez issue? Brendan: There was no issue. He was a Liverpool player and he still is. He’s like best friend; we go23:54:36 out for food Gs Roofing qtr my portrait.ai 1 30/06/2013 together most nights.

Joe: Ummm.... Yeah, well I said that you look like you’ve lost a bit of weight. You are looking a bit trim Brendan, no decent chipy in Liverpool? Brendan: Yeah there are some great chip shops in Liverpool. Me and Colin (Pascoe) have found a cracker. He’s a great bloke Colin, he’s one of my best friends. Just wondering what the relationship between you both is at the moment. I’ guessing that your not playing as much football as you would like Joe? Joe: It would be nice to play some more but the team are doing well and so I’m happy.

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Brendan: Me and Joe are best friends forever. We get on great, go out for meals together all the time.

Brendan: I am yes. To my wonderful wife and best frien Susan.

Steven Gerrard seems to be playing a bit deeper this season, does he enjoy that role?

How many best men did you have?

Brendan: He loves it, he has more influence on the game there. He’s a great guy Steven, he’s like my best mate. We get on great. Are you married Brendan?

Brendan: I didn’t have any. I couldn’t choose. I had 224 Ushers though. Although only three turned up.

You want to be liked don’t you Brendan? Brendan: I want it so badly. I just want people to like m for who I am. It is a hard job. I wish there were 50 places a team. It breaks my heart every time I have to leave Jo out for example but Steven Gerard is better than him. Sorry Joe. I keep telling him ‘he’ll retire soon and then you’ll play, maybe captain’ but its so hard. Andy Carroll called me mean things and so I got rid of him. It isn’t ni is it. No, no it isn’t. I’ll leave you to it now. Just to clarify. This interview never happened.

�A�K ��N �N �N�I��D!

I’d also like to make it perfectly clear that I have no issu with Brendan and certainly none with Joey.

I thought that I would share with you one of my proude moments with this magazine and how one ended up in the managers office in Liverpool. We produced Issue #9 just after Joe left for Anfield with the front cover as seen to the left of this. It wasn’t until a few months later that found out that Joe’s father had been down, stayed in th Marriot Hotel and got shown a copy of this issue in the local shop in the Maritime Quarter on Trawler Road.

His father left with a copy. He came into the shop the n day and said that he had faxed the front cover over to J who was now in Liverpool who then took the front cov into Brendan and they both found it hilarious. Both are great guys, great sports and although not currently wit the Swans (hence why their fair game for stuff like abov their alright in my eyes.

Spďż˝ďż˝ Inďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ - Cďż˝nďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝eďż˝ Brendan: Me and Joe are best friends forever. We get on great, go out for meals together all the time.

Brendan: I am yes. To my wonderful wife and best friend Susan.

Steven Gerrard seems to be playing a bit deeper this season, does he enjoy that role?

How many best men did you have?

Brendan: He loves it, he has more influence on the game there. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great guy Steven, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like my best mate. We get on great. Are you married Brendan?

JACK-Swan FREE #9

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Brendan: I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any. I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t choose. I had 224 Ushers though. Although only three turned up. You want to be liked donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you Brendan? Brendan: I want it so badly. I just want people to like me for who I am. It is a hard job. I wish there were 50 places in a team. It breaks my heart every time I have to leave Joe out for example but Steven Gerard is better than him. Sorry Joe. I keep telling him â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll retire soon and then youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll play, maybe captainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; but its so hard. Andy Carroll called me mean things and so I got rid of him. It isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t nice is it. No, no it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll leave you to it now. Just to clarify. This interview never happened.

ďż˝Aďż˝K ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝N ďż˝N ďż˝Nďż˝Iďż˝ďż˝D!!

We look great together. I love you.

Will you come to Liverpool with me?

I love you too.

But what about your Gentlemans agreement?

Its written on the back of a Rizla paper. Plus Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m no gentleman MMMM I like it when you talk tough

Get in Touch with Jack Swan www.JackSwan.co.uk / 07974 055529

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d also like to make it perfectly clear that I have no issue with Brendan and certainly none with Joey. I thought that I would share with you one of my proudest moments with this magazine and how one ended up in the managers office in Liverpool. We produced Issue #9 just after Joe left for Anfield with the front cover as seen to the left of this. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t until a few months later that I found out that Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father had been down, stayed in the Marriot Hotel and got shown a copy of this issue in the local shop in the Maritime Quarter on Trawler Road. His father left with a copy. He came into the shop the next day and said that he had faxed the front cover over to Joe who was now in Liverpool who then took the front cover into Brendan and they both found it hilarious. Both are great guys, great sports and although not currently with the Swans (hence why their fair game for stuff like above) their alright in my eyes.

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Ra�� t� Pl�� Ye�� 1: Mi�� V��

I felt he struggled for top form last year and in truth I thought that Tremmell had the better season out of the two of them. He has started this season though as he did his first in the Premier League and for me has been our stand-out player. The defence have total faith in him, his distribution is back up to what we expect and he has many a save in him which are a photographers dream.

2: Mi��

Yet to score on the league this season but he his performances have certainly lived up to what we have come to expect. He strolled away with this award last season and I expect he will be tough to beat again this year. He is our most passionate and determined player in the side, wears his heart on his sleeve and loves to play football. Hopefully these attributes will rub off on the whole midfield in his deeper role and add a bit of bite and passion to our skilful unit.

3: P��l�

Still far from convinced and yet it is very hard to overlook the impact he has made this season. With two assists and a tick in the goal tally he has been involved in all our goals this far and at times looked one of our more dangerous players. I still feel that he needs to add more consistency to his game and a greater desire to win the ball back and compete. His performance against W.B.A was clearly brilliant going forward and yet the game would have been totally different if Morrison hadn’t headed his free header wide from 6 yards after Pablo let him go. It is moments like that which costs you at the top and which still leaves me unconvinced, even if I do think he’s been our third best player thus far.

S�e�i�� n�i��: P��l�

I had a feeling that we were going to fall in love with this guy and in y case, I already have. He is a little live wire. He’s hundred mile an hour all the time and with skills and a finish to match. It is hard to see where he will play most his football this year. He wants to be in the idle of the park which is where he looks most dangerous but it is hard to see him getting the nod in-front of Michu or Bony yet. A great opening month for the youngster though.

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