THE FEELING OF SELF-WORTH

comparisons, and competitiveness affects mental health and creates more stressful lives, and relational problems.

So really the bottom line is just to be yourself. Maybe the famous Dr. Suess quote “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You” rings truer in today’s world than ever. Acknowledging your unique strengths, qualities, and achievements is vital for personal growth and your sense of self-worth.

Low Self-Worth

Low self-worth is generally having a low opinion of yourself. You might replay mistakes you have made, or things that have not worked out so positively. You are critical of yourself, judgemental, and negative self-talk replays in your mind. Often you focus on the minutest detail that did not go right, rather than recognise the great things you did or have achieved.

The first step in building self-worth is to stop comparing yourself to others and being critical of everything you do. This is called challenging your inner critic, that voice in your head that says you are not worthy. This inner critic often pops up with destructive thoughts and tells us we are worthless or undeserving of love, happiness, and success. Often this inner voice is ingrained in us and is shaped by early childhood experiences. This internal dialogue undermines our sense of self-worth and might lead to maladaptive behaviours, which make us feel worse about ourselves. We can challenge the inner critic and appreciate ourselves for who we really are, rather than focusing on our perceived faults.

By using the acronym ACE (Dr. Russ Harris) we can challenge our critical thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. For example, ‘I’m noticing I’m feeling a failure’. Be aware that this is not accepting the thought nor stopping it but acknowledging the thought is there. Come back into your body, and anchor your body. For example, wiggle your toes, press your feet into the ground, stretch, push your fingers together, and shrug your shoulders. Engage in your environment and use your senses to notice what is around you, what you can feel, and see, whether there are any smells or tastes, and what you can hear.

Hopefully, you will feel more grounded and able to engage with other things more successfully. If not, start the three steps again. Acknowledging the thought or feeling allows us to drop the struggle against things or get caught up in ‘why can’t I accept this’. Remember that imperfection is part of being human and something we all share.

Until next time, be kind and gentle with yourself.

Julie Thomas MCouns, BPsychSC, BEd(ECTeach) Member of Australian Counselling Association Member of WPATH