SOCIAL DISTANCING

By Shalini Bhardwaj

We, humans are innately social creatures and just like hunger and thirst remaining socially connected is our biological need. Social interactions not only enhance our sense of self but are also important for our overall health and wellbeing.

Today, as the imperative need for social distancing has put a pause on normal socialising activities and physical distancing continues to be an important way to protect ourselves and those around ushow do we create the condition for social interaction?

A psychiatrist Dr Carolyn Boulos says “The importance of staying safe has to be balanced with the very real health risks that can be caused by loneliness. During this time, it is imperative that we do not disconnect with one another. In fact, it is critical now than ever to virtually come together. “

So, here is how we can nurture relationships gracefullyand maintain connectionsin safe waysduring this extraordinary time-

One of the best uses of technology is that it brings people closer irrespective of physical distance between them.By using latest technology we can actually have some cherishable experiences. Some activities, when done together help in bonding and release endorphins, the brain chemicals that contribute to happiness like making music and playing games or watching movies. In a time when physical proximity is not allowed, we can still undertake many of these activities together through various online means. Have a game night with friends using skype, face timeor google hangouts and if you are a movie fan, sizzle some popcorn and host a virtual watch party. Even elements of sports, like competition and exercise can be done collectively but separately using video chat applications.

In recent days, the move to online working has brought a new trend of together alone. By being online together at the same time, two colleagues or friends can make their work more enjoyable and less tedious. In an unprecedented time like this, together alone experiences have been found beneficial to human experience. Try to organise group activities like knitting or cooking over video chat or join online classes to learn virtual yoga or a new language.

Social media, when used wisely, is best for remaining connected to our near and dear ones.Consider compensations of this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

The current pandemic is leaving millions of people sick and there are families who are living with the devastating loss of a loved one. People in the most vulnerable situations are hit the hardest by the crisis. Many are unemployed and struggling to make their ends meet. Older adults, especiallythose with low income have been disproportionately victims of Covid19. There is a good chance that some communities around you are looking for help like food banks or homeless shelters.Go through your

scheduling regular dates and times with family and friends for video calls. It is said that every cloud has a silver lining and in thi sexceptional time of online schooling and work from home,focus on strengthening relationships with those around you.Play hide and seek or treasure hunt with your toddler and with a cup of evening teahave a rejuvenating talk with your neighbour from a safe distance over your fence or balcony.

Undeniably, technology can never fully replace the impact of human interaction in person and meeting in small groups with appropriate physical distancing and wearing a mask can be very different from connecting digitally. So why not? Sometimes use exposure but ensure that it is in small and safe ways. Also when you plan to meet others, try to be respectful to everyone’s comfort level.

Charles Dudley warner once said, “It is one of the beautiful

household goods and see if you have anything that can be donated to people in need. Clean your closets and see if you have any clothes you can give away.Get some items ready and donate to a local charity.

If you have extra money, you might look for national charity too. Do some homework so you’re clear in what ways your money will be used. Be kind, supportive and generous to others in whatever ways you can be. It increases your own sense of purpose andwellbeing.

In this unprecedented time when not holding hands and not visiting someone is actually a sign of care, being empathetic and remaining open to human connection is now more important than ever. There are many things you can do to help make a difference in your community that toofrom the safety of your home.

Make a small gesture to someone in need- maybe it meanssending your neighbour an encouraging note or reading to a child online. Call your friends and family regularly to check on them.

The current crisis gives us an opportunity to build and nurture new connections, which can be maintained when life returns to normal. There may be an elderly couple in your area that is more vulnerable to infection than you are andcan’t make a trip to a grocery store. Offer to pick up a few things for them the next time you shop for your own groceries. Doing small things for others, especially those who are affected by the pandemic doesn’t have to take much of your time or effort and surprisingly, it helps distract you from your own worries.

These days there is a lot of bad news circulating over social media and news channels like economic downturn, blame game politics and expanding statistics about confirmed cases? Spread positivity by committing yourself to share a little kindness and good news. Compliment your friends, send a kind note to someone you appreciate, or share some feel-good positive news. This will take a few moments of yours but could brighten someone else’s whole day.

Latest research has linked social isolation to higher risk of a variety of physical and mental health problems and these days’ new realities like temporary unemployment, social isolation and uncertainty about future along with the threat of scary virus is affecting the lives of many in a significant manner.

You might find your friend or someone in your family needs an emotional support. Let them know you are available. Video call, chat or message people just to say that you are thinking of them. Just sparing your few minutes to talk to people will make them feel good and less lonely.

It is a proven fact that empathetic listening works as a therapy and can offer a muchneeded emotional support.

Today, as we all are going through challenging times, let us take it as an opportunity to build and strengthen our relations. In the present scenario, It is important to find ground where we can engage in meaningful social connections while staying safe and following public health guidelines so that when life returns to normal we don’t find ourselves wandered off too apart from each other. As a very basic level, as we limit ourselves in our safeperipheries, a simple hello and smile goes a long way.So take small initiatives and remain connected so that social distancing doesn’t become emotional distancing.

IHAVEAFAIR, SMOOTHCOMPLEXIONBUTRECENTLY Q& A small greyish lump-like eruptions have appeared on my left cheek and right temple. Is this acne? I am 25 years old and too old to get this, isn’t it? Please advise. It is difficult to assess your condition without examination, but it does seem you are afflicted with warts, and not acne. IAMA 17-YEAR-OLDGIRLWITHANEMBARRASSINGPROBLEM. I have stick-out ears! Friends tease me, calling me Jughead and other such funny names--- all in good This is caused by any one of several types of the human papilloma virus.It is contagious and infected by direct contact. Usually, the warts shrink and drop off without any treatment, in due course of time.These are not fun, of course, but this really hurts me a lot. Please tell cancerous , just unsightly. me what can I do about this? Wart infection is contracted through nicks in the skin,

Most often, this is a hereditary feature…maybe your eczema,hang nails,etc.Persons with compromised siblings or parents also have such ears? It is not an immune systems like children and the elderly,and those uncommon problem either and it does not bother many with HIV, skin infections,etc, are more prone to it. owners much. Considering, however, that you are Over the counter salicylic acid and other such peeling distressed about it, you can consult a cosmetic surgeon for gels, liquid and pads could work but do not apply this on solutions. delicate facial skin face without the doctor’s permission.

A simple procedure called otoplasty or pinna plasty In a nutshell, warts are harmless normally, but if there pulls the ear back to lie flat against the head. Perhaps, is pain or discharge, you need treatment. Now, do go to a this could bring you relief. skin specialist to get a professional diagnosis of your

If you do not want to consider surgery, you could condition. adopt a hair style which will cover your ears; loop your hair over them and pin back . Or, you could comb your hair down over the ears to hide them completely. A remedy could also be to use super glue to gum your IAMONLY 35 YEARSOLDBUTALREADYHAVELINEs on my forehead. Please tell me how to get rid of them? Except for this, I am a good-looking ● ear back l…but this will only bring respite for a short while woman. and also removing the glue can be a slightly painful Sometimes these horizontal forehead lines develop if business. the person has a mannerism of wrinkling or lifting the

Sticking out ears can be pressed back considerably if forehead. Maybe, you do this? you wear a band over them as constantly as possible too. Try doing facial yoga to help your problem. For this, sit ALTHOUGH I AMFAIRSKINNED,MYELBOWSANDKNEESARE dark. It embarrasses me although others don’t seem to notice my this problem. Is there a method ● in a comfortable position, relax your face muscles gently. Bring down your brows as low down as possible, pulling them together simultaneously. Relax. Then, lift your brows as high as you can, and as to lighten these trouble spots? I am a 17-year-old girl far apart as possible. Relax. Do this five times several studying in class 12. times a day. This will help to smoothen out the lines by

The frequent cause of darkened elbows and knees is stretching the forehead skin. the buildup of grime, dirt and dead skin cells, the result of Massage a little warmed coconut, almond or olive indifferent attention given to them at bathtime. oil into your forehead once daily and wash off with

Many of us fail to notice that we hardly scrub our warm water. Hydrate your skin by drinking more liquids. elbows, knees and the nape of our neck when washing, Spritz your face with mineral water frequently if you resulting in this situation. But don’t despair. There are have dry skin, and do not neglect applying moisturiser several simple antidotes for your problem. religiously.

Mix milk cream and turmeric powder in a saucer. Rub Cosmetic surgery can also offer you options where this on your elbows and knees a good hour before your your forehead skin is stretched and pinned back under bath, Then wash off with warm water. hair. Botox injections also smoothen out lines and

A paste of milk and baking soda is another effective wrinkles but the effect is not permanent and the whitener, as are 1 tsp of yoghurt and 1 tsp of vinegar, procedure has to be repeated after some time. turmeric and besan and yoghurt and vinegar. Rub any of these pastes on the darkened skin in firm circular movements to slough off the dead skin cells. Wash off.You will surely see results within a fortnight. Readers are invited to send their beauty problems and questions regarding face, complexion, hair, skin, eyes, etc to this column.

If you do not kitchenshelf remedies, you can get a good Address your letters, written legibly or typed on white paper, to: whitening cream of a reputed cosmetic firm. But do not neglect exfoliating the skin too regularly. WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.

She dressed up for it. By Rana Preet Gill

She sat in the bus wondering if he would take notice that she had exchanged her regular seat for the spot that would make her more visible to him. She knew he always hung around the entrance, on the steps to be specific, throughout his short journey from the ISBT to the Chowpatty. And she always sat on the last seat of the bus just to make it easier for her to get down. Though the ride got a little bumpy she did not seem to mind. The tired, sweaty mass of tangled bodies that infested the space between the seats, looked like a giant mass that could swirl anyone close to its surroundings seemed to taper at the end for some reason. But once he saw her as she was getting down and he was standing on the front steps, being prodded by the conductor to move ahead, bus rides had never been the same.

She had seen him lifting his head from far away only to catch a glimpse of her. The first time it happened, her mind did not register anything. Though she avoided locking her gaze with any passenger but some days when the eye contact happened, she was quick to avert her eyes and maintain the perfunctory seriousness of her expressions. After all, she was not the flimsy kind. She did not play this brief game of unsaid promises and unrequited love that often ping ponged like an unwanted ball in her domain but she did not give it enough inertia and the ball would often lose its steam if it was thrown in her direction.

But with him it was different. He did not look like the man who would just look at her only to let her go after a brief spell of attraction. She had found him a little strange, a little different but very handsome and irresistible. She had always got down at the stop which was the second last stop before the bus ended its drive at Chowpatty and started back to ISBT. And all those who did not did not get down at her stop were eventually stalled for the last stop.

Since he never got down at her stop, which was the halt for the officegoers, she had gathered that he was not an office guy like her and the others who peopled this bus. She had lamely called this particular bus as the office bus because it was the only one that started at 6 am from ISBT and since most of the offices were located in the new complex that has emerged before the scenic view of Chowpatty and started their working at 7 am, this bus was a boon for office-goers. She had found the one-hour ride painful and boring. No one from her office commuted in this bus. She was not comfortable enough to get friendly with people from other offices, men who often leered at her, their gaze penetrating the thin fabric of her blouse tracing the straps of her brassiere and lingering on the folds of her sari stopping there for a long

He moved his arm brushing against her bare arm now.”

time as if trying to find a way through it. But his gaze was unlike them.

His gaze rested on her face. His eyes never left hers and there was a certain comfort she drew from his stare that did not seem to undress or malign her. She wondered for days what he must be doing for a living. Certainly not the office type because he did not get down at the spot designated for office-goers of that area. There were no work places in a place like Chowpatty as far as she knew. There weren’t any shops as well, not big ones, just the roadside melee of stalls that was thronged by non-descript men and women in the evenings. People like her who worked in offices always went back home and never ever loitered in and around that side of the beach which served nothing but grub in the garb of infectious and contaminated food and water.

But his work was the least of her concerns. That day, she decided to make things easier for him. She moved towards the front seats with an enthusiasm and found herself the comfortable spot from where her sighting would be easier for him. He would not have to be contented with just a faraway gaze, but a lot more than that. He would be able to look at her in a more proper way from his designated place. And suddenly, her fingers reached her pitied cheeks and she wondered if he would be able to spot the little disfigurement in her face more prominently and flinch.

The little spots on her face that he might not have spotted from a distance would stand out now. She wondered if he would be repelled by her not-so-clear skin that was fair but not flawless. She wondered if this little truth would change anything between them. She berated herself for not being able to disguise her spots with the foundation that had been lying in her drawer for a long time. It was given to her by her mother a few months back when a prospective suitor had come with his family to view her. Though she was able to hide the hideous spots with the application of the foundation, it was not enough for him. The wanted dowry exceeded their means and the alliance had died down before it materialised into reality.

And since then she had thrown the bottle of foundation in deep, unfathomable corners of her drawer. The cheap make-up had given her a flare-up of acne and the very next day when she spotted the red pigmentation with the appearance of nasty little acne she had a vicious row with her mother. It took a week for that flare-up to die down but not before giving her some fresh spots that made her skin a little more imperfect. But today was the day when she wanted to look perfect. The gaze of a stranger had made her feel wanted and she wanted to present her most appealing and alluring picture today.

She had taken care to wear her most presentable sari, the one she has reserved for choicest occasions or important presentations in her office. Her mother had cocked her head slightly when she had emerged from bathroom smelling nice and good. She had sniffed her with a mocking glare, challenging her with her stare as she was about to leave the house. This was her way of confronting her ever since she was young and malleable and this had always worked but not today. Now when she had reached a ripe and mature age of 30, she was anything but not the one to be

trampled upon neither by her family nor by anyone and yet here she was ready to give away everything to that one look of a stranger.

As she sat in the bus waiting to be filled by the usual chatter of the officegoers, she noticed that everyone was taking second looks at her. They know that she preferred the last seat despite the discomfort of the bounce that inevitably came with the presence of huge tires of the bus propelling it to move further. There was some whispering and murmuring amongst them at this change of seats which died down as soon as the bus driver turned on the ignition. She looked at the front gate with a yearning only to find him missing today. Even the conductor who was standing at his spot looking at her with a bewilderment finally smiled, giving her a nod as she looked away from him trying to suppress her embarrassment at being noticed in such a blatant manner. Her cheeks flushed with color as she saw him running along the slow-moving bus and finally making it to the stairs with one powerful lunge dislodging the conductor from his usual spot. The conductor cursed him as he moved towards the passengers and began with his ritual of ticketing. She found him looking intently at the back of the bus as she wondered as if he had missed seeing her. She touched her spots again a little self-consciously this time and looked at him with an audacity trying to catch his attention. She looked around trying to find the presence of a beautiful maiden at the back of the bus, someone who might have dethroned her from the pedestal but there was no one.

She looked around to spot that one female presence to which he was directing his attention at but there was none. And as she was done surveying the people around her, she was back to eyeing him when she discovered a suppressed smile. He was looking at her with an adoration that was hard to miss. She flinched as she found it hard to maintain her stiff demeanour. She wanted to give him a hint that she liked him but she

was unable to do so but then she knew that he had found out. But despite all the things that were not said yet understood she wanted him to gain the impression that she was one respectable woman who will not give her any undue attention or power over him.

She sat stoically, looking at him intermittently as she found him staring at her with unblinking eyes. When the lady passenger who was sitting next to her got down, he quickly took this opportunity as a signal and occupied the seat next to her with an affected nonchalance. As if this was the most natural thing in the world to do, occupy an empty seat. Her heart palpitated as she struggled to control her excitement. The conductor gave her a lascivious smile and nudged the man while passing next to them. His thighs rubbed against the folds of her sari but she did not find that unusual. It happened all the time when two people are sitting together on a seat that is not big enough. She was used to such physical proximities that did not mean anything at all. He placed his hand next to hers and she panicked. She did not make any move. He moved his arm brushing against her bare arm now. She cursed herself for not putting a full sleeved blouse. She was getting uncomfortable at his touch now. All the anticipation lost, she begin to sweat profusely, getting disoriented at the chain of events. She had not expected that a man who seemed to never look beyond her face would touch such a nether of human behaviour. To be touched as if she was nothing more than a meat piece was more vicious than being leered at.

When she did not make a move to get her bare arm moving which was now in contact with him, he got emboldened and discreetly placed his other hand touching the contours of her breast through the folds of her sari. She could feel him searching impatiently as his fingers poked her soft flesh. His leg jutted firmly against hers, he was trying to corner her into some kind of subjugation. A few passengers who were standing on the front steps were eyeing her precarious situation with lot of interest. As he tried to grab her breast in his hand she finally found the courage as she pushed him and slapped him tight on his cheek. A sudden silence engulfed the bus as it came to a halt at her stop and she made her move past him in an unhurried manner taking along her dignity and honour. A few hands clapped and a few murmurs of approval came her way but was gone. We

The first time I put on the wedding gown, I could feel the weight of the dress and it kind of felt like the weight of a wedding vows. Getting married was becoming very real! All the gorgeous diva’s that I use to look up to in beautiful satire always looked elegant in their wedding gown and had the most fairytalelike love stories. Even though I know we don’t live in a fairytale, I felt like I now had a special love story to call mine and I can tell the same to the world. I was walking into the bridal studio for the first time and everyone was complete stars struck. I tried on my first wedding gown.

When the curtains were pulled, I was looking dreamy, ivory lace wedding gown. My face got radiant with delight and excitement and my eyes filled with love. My husband lost for words at how beautiful I was looking on my wedding day. Also, kind of surprised at how grand the wedding gown is. You might even wonder if that’s necessary for a dress that you’re only going to wear for a few hours. It almost seems too much, until you understand that at that moment, I was imagining walking down the aisle and exchanging the vows. The wedding gown selection means that the day when you finally give your partner a promise is drawing nearer and I was never felt happier than the day of selection of my wedding dress. In addition to feeling some strong emotions, your wedding day may feel surreal and leave you feeling like you are in a different reality. Out of nowhere, we are encircled by companions, family, associates, and colleagues as we are decked out in an excellent wedding outfit or tuxedo. We will be the center of attention, often being pulled in an assortment of headings to chat with every one of our visitors and take photographs while taking care of the subtleties of the wedding. There is a decent possibility that we won't get an opportunity to rest or even get done with eating at your gathering. For the duration of the day, we will likely be astonished at all the help and love got from our loved ones. Wedding days will be passionate and it bodes well we are settling on a groundbreaking choice before all the individuals we love the most.

–Rama

HOWDOYOUDESCRIBEANEGG- ISITASNACK? ISITAQ& A MEAL? ORISITMERELYANINGREDIENTINGREATERDISHES? The glorious thing about an egg is that the answer to the above questions is an emphatic YES. The egg is a staple of most non-vegetarian cuisines. It is so ubiquitous that often you don’t even realise that you are eating it- in cakes, in ice cream and RAISINSAREONEOFTHETASTIESTANDHEALTHIESTDRY fruits and also the most popular among all age groups. But we have just heard that soaked raisins naans. The omelette is one of the most popular egg dishes in the world. There are a number of ways to cook eggs- boiled, pickled scrambled, fried and poached. ● should be a part of our daily diet. Please elaborate. HOWDOYOUPROVE CRANBERRIES: SUPERFOODTHATACTSASA

Raisins are filled with various benefits, but this is true SHIELD? that not all of us are aware of is that soaking them in water Cranberries grow under very special conditions and are enhances their efficacy. They are a storehouse of essential not produced in India. It is a versatile superfood that can be nutrients such as iron, potassium, calcium, magnesium and consumed in various forms- raw, dried, frozen etc. They’re a fibre. these benefits are enhanced when soaked in water good source of nutrients and vitamins and help in overnight. Soaked raisins act as a natural laxative, help strengthening immunity, which is very important in this prevent the onset of osteoporosis, boosts energy and our coronavirus outbreak. Cranberries are nearly 90% water. immune system. It is also rich in copper, which promotes They are fat-free, cholesterol-free, low on sodium and a the absorption of iron. good source of dietary fiber. They also have flavonoids and ● other natural compounds that promote good health.

HOWESSENTIALISDOINGEXERCISESINOURDAILY routine to stay hale and hearty. How does pre and post workout meals affect the result of

ISTHEREAWAYTOMAKEADESSERTWITHOUTREFINEDSUGARAND NOTKNOWTHEDIFFERENCE?

our workout.

Exercise is undoubtedly crucial to stay fit for us but what meals are consumed before and after working out are equally important. A slice of peanut butter toast with bananas or yogurt with nuts and fruits is a good idea to have as a pre workout meal. “After the workout, we need to consume a good amount of protein so as to repair any wear and tear, and to build muscle strength”. Remember workout alone won’t give good results.

The best substitute for sugar when it comes to desserts is dates. Soak the dates in hot water and make a puree. It’s healthy and can also be stored in the refrigerator for frequent use. Palm jaggery can also be used. But you cannot simply swap refined sugar, with natural sugar substitutes without the rich flavour they each bring. So the ideal substitute really just depends on the dish you are making.

ISITJUSTIFIEDTOCALLJAGGERYORGURASUPERFOODOFTHE WINTERSEASON?

In our country where food and seasons are intertwined, it is a blessing to be able to relish Nature's abundance. Jaggery is a good source of magnesium which helps stimulate the release of 'feel good ' hormones. It is an antidote for the harm caused by pollution, as it helps cleanse respiratory tracts. It is also loaded with antioxidants and helps boost immunity. There are many varieties of gur, depending on which plant they are extracted from. Apart from cane sugar, jaggery is made from palm juice, called nolen gur, and from the sap of coconut. Palm juice jaggery is more dense in texture than cane ones. So it wouldn't be wrong to call jaggery a superfood and the perfect winter companion.

PLEASEGIVEUSAGLIMPSEOF “ THEPOWEROF PISTACHIOS”. WHICHDISHCANBESAIDTOBEATRUESUBSTITUTEFOROMELETTE FORTHEVEGETARIANS?

Moonglet is touted as a vegetarian alternate for omelette and is often referred to as vegetarian omelette or moong dal omelette. It has all the goodness of the pulse and is a great breakfast and a snacking option. A moonglet with lots of vegetables, together with cheese etc is both healthy and tasty.

IFWEAREEATINGLOTSOFSALADS, BUTEVENTHENWEARE QUESTIONEDABOUTITBEINGHEALTHY. HOWCOME?

Yes a salad consisting a lot of greens, vegetables and fruits is considered healthy only till it’s dressing is also healthy. By incorporating an unhealthy ingredient like a calorific dressing into an otherwise healthy diet diminishes or kills the positive effects of the health food and makes it unhealthy.

— SAVITA BHARGAVA

Pistachios are one of the lowest calorie nuts with only 160 calories in a single ounce. Gram for gram pistachios have more protein than lentils, paneer and chickpeas. They contain monounsaturated fats, are naturally cholesterol free and a rich source of dietary fibre, potassium and vitamins and minerals like B6, thiamin, copper and phosphorous.

If you have any problem in cooking or kitchen, write to Woman’s Era. We shall try to help you sort it out. Address your queries to: WOMAN'S ERA, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg, New Delhi-110 055. Click womansera.com to lodge your queries.