Wildling Magazine - Volume 11 by Wildling Magazine

VOLUME 11

© 2018 Wildling Magazine All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced by any means without prior written consent from the publisher, except for brief portions quoted for the purpose of review, as permitted by copyright law. www.wildlingmagazine.com info@wildlingmagazine.com Instagram @wildlingmagazine Facebook facebook.com/wildlingmagazine Front Cover image by Rebecca Lindon Back Cover image by Jennifer Lawrence Inside Cover image by Stephanie Bryan Back Inside Cover image by Sarah Black

CONTENTS VOLUME 11 June 2018

Contributors

Nicaragua

Editor’s Note

Fields Of Joy

Fostering Emmy

Gift Her A Voice

Punta Cana

Western Australia

Little Lightworkers

Mere Souer

Mothering Through Autism

Mindfulness For Children

March For Our Lives

Bedroom Light

The Key To Fertility

Venice

Olli Ella

103

Stockists

CONTRIBUTORS Rebecca Lindon www.rebeccalindon.com Adria Church www.adrialea.com Savan Crutchfield www.savan-photography.com Jennifer Lawrence www.jenniferlawrencephotography.com Sarah Lloyd www.indigosoulpr.com Isabelle Kohler www.belleandsass.com Alexandra Knight www.alexandraknightphotography.com Cat Raincock www.catraincock.com Melina Wallisch www.melinawallisch.com Marlene Cronin www.croninmarlene.wixsite.com/thespiritseer Sarah Black www.sarahblackphotography.com.au Marie Isaac www.wellbeingbythesea.com Stephanie Bryan www.stephaniebryanphoto.com Rebecca Fougerousse www.redfernphoto.com

Image by Jennifer Lawrence

EDITOR’S NOTE

Volume 11 comes to you after a 9-month break whilst we settled our family back in England, following our travels. We have returned to the wide skies of Norfolk in a cottage by the coast and have been adjusting to a slower pace of life. 2018 has also seen the launch of Wildling Woman - a blog and podcast centred around self care and self prioritisation for mothers. If you have not yet discovered this place of spiritual nourishment then you’ll find us on the website and on Instagram at @wildling.woman. This issue features a mix of esaays on mothering experiences from adoption and autism to raising lightworkers, fertility and mindfulness for children. It’s also heavy with travel stories including Nicaragua, Punta Cana, Western Australia and Venice... I can almost feel the wind pulling my hair overseas again! It goes without saying, that we would love to hear from you if you have your own story to share you can contact us via the website.

Rebecca Lindon Editor-in-Chief

FOSTERING EMMY PERSONAL ESSAY words by Adria Church and images by Savan Crutchfield

My husband and I got married after a year of dating and were madly in love. About 9 months in and still in the full swing of the honeymoon stage, we were camping, hiking, traveling and enjoying life, when we were stopped in our tracks. Oddly enough, my husband and I never really talked about kids and when that would happen. He was one of 7 and I was one of 3, so we both knew we wanted a family, but never went into much detail other than that. Out of nowhere, I started to hear the words “foster care” over and over and over. It was like I couldn’t get away from it. Our church was randomly having an informational meeting, and it was all over the radio. I had also recently met a foster family. I thought it was really odd. I knew something was going on, but I didn’t say a word to Colt, and I didn’t know where to start. We had only been married 9 months after all, and he was going to think I was CRAZY! I decided to gather more information. I really had zero idea of what foster care looked like, aside from keeping other peoples’ kids when the state removed them. I had a dear friend and neighbor who had coincidentally gotten her degree in social work, so we spent a good long time on her couch talking about all of the ins and outs. I left her house with tons of information, and a burdened heart. I sat on it for several weeks and just kept praying. I wasn’t sure what Colt would think about all of it, and I, myself, thought it was pure madness. Finally one night as we were getting into bed, I felt the tugging that it was time. I turned to Colt and said, “Babe, I know you’re going to think I’m crazy for this, but I feel like God has really been tugging my heart and I need to talk to you about it. I think God is wanting us to become foster parents.” To which he replied, “Okay, me too. Let’s do it.” We had a short conversation that night and the next day I was researching foster agencies. We quickly got licensed and a few months later had our first foster son - a 2 year old. He absolutely rocked our world, and then left to be with family after 5 months, devastating our family and us. Colt wanted to take a break to grieve, but I couldn’t stand the silence in the home and the unused toys and reminders all around us, so I begged him that we open back up. This was a team effort after all; we were either both all in, or all out. He agreed and within a week we received a call for a precious little one who had been hurt and was in the hospital to be discharged any day. I didn’t even call him because I new his answer (of course I did after the call), and I told them YES! This time, we were talking about an 8-week old baby girl, and we had nothing for a new baby!

After the call, I quickly showered and went up to the hospital where I got to hold our sweet girl for the very first time. Colt was working so we face-timed and I sent photos all through the night as I stayed there with her and held her. Her prognosis was scary with a big question mark as to what her future would look like, but for the time being, she seemed to be doing really well. That next day, we took her home and quickly got settled in. We were told that first week, that there was biological family interested in getting her, so she would probably be leaving soon and we put up a little bit of a wall. After just being hurt so deeply losing our last foster son, we weren’t ready to go through that again. As time went on, things with her biological family weren’t panning out. After having her only a few short months, it became obvious to me that something wasn’t quite right. She was having some feeding issues and her pediatrician wasn’t giving it much attention. It was then I decided to make the move to a doctor about an hour away from us who specialized in foster children. Immediately, the doctor agreed that something wasn’t right and ordered a swallow study. The results came back grim, showing that with every swallow, our little girl was aspirating, and getting liquid into her lungs. This was believed to be caused by her brain injury. There was lots of hope and we started our sweet girl right away on thickened formula and speech therapy. After a couple more months and more concerns from me, the doctor agreed that another swallow study was in order by a different speech therapist. This time was different. The therapist wouldn’t let us leave the x-ray room without first speaking with the pediatrician about the results. We were told the results weren’t good and our doctor squeezed us in for an appointment a few hours later. When we got in with the doctor, she told us what we didn’t want to hear. Her aspiration was at a very dangerous level, which put our girl at high risk for aspiration pneumonia, which could be deadly for her. We were admitted to the hospital that day and stayed overnight while they declared that she was no longer allowed to eat by mouth and they put in an NG feeding tube that went through her nose and to her stomach. She HATED it and kept pulling it out. After one night, we were discharged with instructions to see a GI doctor. Life at home was hard. She was now connected to a feeding pump almost continuously. It was also at this time that she was just beginning to crawl, so we had to keep 24-hour surveillance on her to make sure she didn’t get tangled in the tubes, or pull them out (oh and she was pulling them out up to 3 times a day so I would have to put it back in…excruciating). Once we saw the GI doctor, surgery was decided to be the best action for her and a g-tube was placed to make things a little bit easier and more comfortable for her. While all of this was going on, she was seeing more specialists than I could count, was in the ER almost once a week, and in over 8 hours of therapy a week. It was definitely hard, but it was all so worth it. We loved this little girl beyond belief and were willing to do whatever it took to get her the best care she could possibly have. At the same time, we were told that the case was headed to termination, and we would likely be adopting our sweet girl. To say that we were elated was a severe understatement but our excitement was short lived. A family member came forward who expressed interest. We are extremely pro family, but due to the nature of our girl’s medical needs, we felt very strongly that she was in the best place she could be with us.

Just when we thought things couldn’t get worse, CPS ordered a 4 day visit with this family member. We expressed our extreme concern over the medical training needed to take care of our little one, but CPS didn’t hear much of it. They sent her off and we spent the weekend praying and hurting. Then the day came to pick her up and I couldn’t wait! I saw her and something was very wrong. She was normally very attached to me and responsive, but that day she was quiet and looked very ill and confused. I rushed her to her doctor where it was confirmed that she had not been properly cared for. The doctors even went as far as to say that another day or two in that home, and we could be talking death. I must also say here, that I don’t think this was by any means intentional, but absolutely could have been prevented. We were certain CPS wouldn’t send her back again, but we were wrong. The next weekend she was sent away again and we were devastated. I’m not sure I have ever hit such a low in my entire life. Up until this point, I hadn’t really given any of our girl’s needs over to God and I was in a full on battle with Him to let go. I vividly remember spending hours in the shower crying and praying, and begging God to send her back to us and not allow her to be hurt again. It wasn’t until hours later that I finally felt so completely worn and knew this situation was beyond anything I had control over, and I let it go and gave it up to God. It was then that this indescribable peace came over me and I felt inaudibly as if God were telling me it was going to be okay. I immediately called my husband and told him that we had to trust that it was going to be okay. I fully understood that “okay” didn’t necessarily mean that she was going to get to be with us as well. Shortly after that conversation, we received a call that the remaining visit was being cancelled and we needed to come pick her up immediately. I cannot even put into words what I felt in that moment. In court a couple of weeks later, we found out that we would be adopting our beautiful Emmy, and 5 months later it was official. Fast-forward another 5 months later and we found out I was pregnant with our beautiful Eile girl, and our hearts were full. People try to tell us all the time how amazing it is what we went through and how lucky she is, but we are truly the lucky ones. Emmy has the most incredible joy and fighting spirit. We don’t go out into public without being stopped by MULTIPLE people. And oh… that pesky g-tube…it’s GONE! She grew stronger monthly with therapy and after over a year of having it, she was able to fully eat by mouth again. She is now a seemingly normal, talkative 2 year old. She is truly our little miracle. Our story hasn’t ended, but has just begun. We can’t wait to see where life takes us from here.

PUNTA CANA TRAVEL ESSAY words and photography by Jennifer Lawrence

I went to Punta Cana with my entire family - my husband and 4 kids, my sister, her husband and her 4 kids, my brother, his wife and baby and my mother. Sixteen of us in total. We stayed at Club Med Punta Cana, we have been there many times before and we all love it. There were so many highlights. With working all the time it was nice to lock up my phone for the week and just focus on time with my kids. We loved hanging out at the pool / beach, doing the circus, flying trapeze, everything. Plus the kids got a kick out of being able to go up to the bar and ordering strawberry daiquiris (virgin of course) whenever they wanted to. Hanging out with their cousins and their grandmother. was the favourite part for the children. The kids are all around the same ages and they are best friends so it was the perfect escape for them. They also liked having freedom to go and do different things that they can’t do back in Chicago. For example, taking the sail boats out, snorkeling, archery.... just being outside and having fun. When we’re travelling with the children we always pick a location that is great for kids so they are excited to go. Plus, no matter what their ages, lots snacks for getting there and back. We are all heading back down to Watercolor, FL in July this year. We rented a house by the beach and we are all looking forward to going there to relax, spend time with one another and enjoy the ocean!

LITTLE LIGHTWORKERS PERSONAL ESSAY words and photography by Sarah Lloyd

This little light of mine I’m going to let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine As parents we all have a duty of care to our children – we bought them into this world with love, hoping that the world we live in will become a better place. Our children have a big part to play in our world changing, which seems like a lot to put on a little person’s shoulders. But you can already feel that things are changing and evolving… with the negatives you see happening in the world… there are huge positives… a balance is restoring, and with any kind of expansion, it’s painful. But back to our little ones. I have two little lightworkers. So strong in their masculine energy, so feisty and they have a knowing and a wisdom that is beyond their 2 and 4 years. I love them so much I think I could burst. The lessons they have taught me since they whirled into my life are endless and I am now able to relish every single one. What they don’t tell you in hospital or at your midwife visits is what it’s like to parent a highly sensitive child. You just get made to feel like your child is needy and the parenting books I have read are either totally brutal or you succumb to your child’s every whim – which would be fab but we all need boundaries, something I am also learning in spades! Being spiritually awake has made me want to understand better, so my girls don’t go through the learned behaviour I adopted at their age, generations before learned and so on… this is all stuff I am working through now in my 40’s. Being a conscious and spiritual parent is tough, not least because you are dealing with the 2D world all the time. And by this I mean sugar in their diet, too much TV time, environments that fuel high energy states and often negative behavior brought on by overstimulation (soft-play, theme parks, Haribo, birthday parties). It’s an energetic minefield. Now I am not saying I condemn any of the above – I still take the girls to soft-play, birthday parties, they enjoy ice cream on holiday and to be honest putting on Moana to give me time to make dinner are all part of our life. But it’s the same as anything – moderation is the key. I can now see when ice cream is a bad idea and what we’ll get the other side of it… The same goes with responding to them with love, patience and compassion. My husband said something that struck me the other day… we are bringing up human beings, they aren’t actually ours – we may have carried them but as they grow we should treat them as the individuals they are… talking down to them is a no no, actually listening to their woes and their observations is so important. And when you hear them addressing in a certain way it’s because you have done it first! My 2 year old turns air raid siren when her needs aren’t met - she either is hungry, tired, or it’s a full moon - it can trigger you and shouty mummy can and will appear (which is ok, and it’s taken me a while to realize that balance is essential). This behaviour also surfaces when you haven’t taken care of your own needs, so self-care all round is the key and I wish I had known that when they were tiny because you can put yourself first then too – help is always around if you really look.

When did the penny drop for me? My friend, Kathryn Pearson, a teen yoga and also a parent of a high sensitive child, recently published a book ‘The Sensitive Subject’ on this and it’s invaluable if your child is highly sensitive. A lot of my learning has come from this, my own inner knowing and guidance I have picked up from wise women, healers, friends who are balancing their own expansion whilst juggling a young sensitive family. The golden rule for me is to help them learn to protect their energy from an early age. To empower them and give them the tools to know that possibility is limitless. This is a delicate dance of giving them room to breathe and grow, but be there to support that growth and to live in your truth. It is ok to admit to your children you don’t know everything and that we don’t all get it right… there are lessons in those situations for all involved. I wanted to share a few tips I use to help with my daughter’s self-care; Every morning we ‘bubble on’ - I cleanse their energy using reiki / incense in the house and then ask them to imagine a coloured bubble around them that no one can get in or out – they pick their colour and they love the idea of going to nursery wearing a pink spotty or yellow bubble. Sing or say an affirmation, whilst taking a deep breath - ours goes a little like this…. “today is going to be a good day, today is going to be a good day, I love myself and everyone.” Crystals. If they are particularly fractious (normally by the weekend) we get out my crystal box and sort them into colours. They often pick one that they want to keep with them for the day – which helps calm them. My youngest favours a rose quartz and can play with it for hours.

Diet – try to limit sugar / artificial colour / gluten from their diet. I have watched them quite closely and can tell when they have had a sugar hit or a gluten slump. For instance, when our eldest scoffs ice cream or cereal packed with E’s - cue shouting and outright nastiness. Baths – When they come home from nursery and they are punchy or fractious I can see they are wearing other children’s energy and adopting others’ behavior, so I run them an epsom salts bath. They love throwing the crystals in which aids them in wanting to get in to it. Limit TV and time with electronics. The one thing I miss about my own childhood is the heady summers spent outside with nothing but a picnic blanket and a ball to keep you amused. This is a tough one to manage but it’s healthy for the whole family if you limit screen time – hard when your photos and music are on your phone but it is a must. We used to put the TV on every morning and found the girls barely able to feed themselves cereal whilst transfixed at the screen. We have made a conscious change in our house and both girls are totally different children when we don’t start the day with CBeebies. Listen – Baby Lightworkers often talk about things you may have never heard before – my eldest told me she had mermaid gills. I heard of another little girl telling her mummy that she wanted her old mummy – all these could be past lives bleeding through to current lives and I urge you to nurture and support those thoughts and feelings. Squashing them as make-believe only dents their growing confidence. These are just some of the things I do to help our girls, its meant to be gentle guidance and comes from a place of love.

MOTHERING THROUGH AUTISM PERSONAL ESSAY words and images by Isabelle Kohler

The story of my son’s birth still describes him to this day. It was high time for him to leave my body but he was not moving. I tried everything my midwife suggested: fasting, Indian bridges, sugar shock, drinking castor oil... you name it. I did it all. I was growing more and more frustrated until I was finally admitted to the hospital to induce labour. Two weeks after his due date, my son was born. When I first held him my heart exploded of all the love I felt for him. He was a fairly easy baby and developed into a happy child. He was not showing too much of an effort to talk but other than that, he showed no irregularities at first. As he got older though things became increasingly more difficult. He was not getting on well with other kids, he refused to try new things, and he bit and scratched me and other kids - especially his little sister - when he did not get his way. Going to a party, family gathering, or a public playground became a nightmare and more than once we would all go home frustrated, exhausted, and in tears. At home, we were reading everything and anything that we could find about whales and dinosaurs. He became an expert on how they were related, what they ate and their respective differences. When he was six years old he started school and with it, things got worse. His selfesteem was at an all-time low and frustration was part of all of our daily business. My smart kid who could not cope with the school system, was put in a track for kids with special needs. He was already undergoing psychological tests but it took us more than a year to finally discover

that my son is on the Autism Disorder Spectrum. He was diagnosed with a form that was first described by Hans Asperger - an Austrian pediatric, by the way, that my grandmother had actually met in person. The diagnosis triggered all sorts of fears in me... how will he manage? How will I manage? Is he ever going to be able to live an independent life? The diagnosis collided with everything that I had planned out for my life. But what does this diagnosis mean in everyday life? I think of my son’s autism as a social disability. Often I get asked about the special abilities that my son has. He was not born a Rainman. Yes, there are a bunch of things that he became very good at, an expert even, because of his special interests. But sadly, life in our world is sometimes very hard, tiring, and often lonely as he is misunderstood so often. For most people social rules are easily understandable and also make sense. This does not apply to my child. I realised this the first time that I told my son to set the table. In full force he was telling me ‘no’, he was not setting the table. Until this moment we were having a good time and I was caught off-guard by his oppositional behaviour. Then I connected the dots and found out that he did not know how to do it. Even though we always set the table in the same way, he could not recreate it. He was grateful and also a little bit ashamed when I showed him what needs to be done in order to prepare the table for us to sit down.

Another example of just not getting social clues is that my son did not understand the rules of the chase game that kids love to play. He never stuck to the rules and other kids were getting annoyed because for them, he was acting weird. It took me a long time to figure that out because the idea of not understanding simple rules from simply observing was not on my mind. Another big social hurdle is the inability to read between the lines. Everything needs to be spelled out. In our communication we tend to use a lot of empty phrases. All of that does not make sense to my kid. For example, when I say: ‘We need to get there on time,’ I usually don’t have to explain what that means. My son on the other hand will not understand as this is not measurable and ‘on time’ is as vague as it can be. Saying we need to get there by 3pm makes more sense even though to be honest, time is not something that is easily comprehensible for him. In order to prevent melt-downs and to improve cooperation, I completely changed my way of communication. I am as straight-forward as I can be. Being brought up by a very polite French mother on the one hand, and in a country that still clings to phrases from Imperial days that are long gone, on the other hand, that was a challenge. When I wanted something it involved phrases like: “Could you, if you, please, maybe ...” and so on. I found out that my straight forward communication skills help me with neurotypical kids as well. I started to use as few words as possible to not lose my son’s attention while I explain why and how I think or feel about something. If you don’t know me, I might sound like I am leading an army but I get what I want in most of the cases. Instead of saying: ‘you need to get ready,’ I specify what that means. ‘Put on

your shoes and jacket,’ for example. Sometimes it is necessary to push yourself even more. I learned that from attending a camp for autistic children. Another boy (also on the spectrum) wanted to visit our room and it was just not a very good time. I tried all tricks such as: ‘maybe later’, or ‘its is not a good time,’ and so on. The eager visitor would not drop it until I looked at him and said: ‘You are not welcome right now.’ Something, that otherwise I think of as being rude. But he finally understood and was not feeling hurt. I was feeling guilty, of course, but I learned that being clear and respectful is the way to go. By the same token, proverbs cause the most interesting and sometimes amusing misunderstandings as people with autism tend to understand them literally. ‘To sweep something under the carpet’ may cause confusion as well as curiosity as to what really is underneath the carpet! Living with my autistic son means living a life full of resistance. Resistance to learning how to ride a bike, resistance to changing from sandals to sneakers when seasons change, resistance to pretty much all new things. There is a lot of things one can manage beforehand. For example, showing pictures of the apartment you will spend your holidays at. You can generally talk about an outline of a day but you cannot control everything. Sometimes you will miss the bus, or you have to change from primary school into secondary school. I try to find a good balance between situations that can be controlled and do not hold any surprises, as well as the situations that need a little bit of flexibility. Like mixing up the order around the table and switching seats because we have guests. Sounds easy, but can be challenging.

The hardest part in parenting my son is to see whether he is well or not. He lives in a world of extremes. He is either well, which means literally nothing is a problem (including him managing to express his feelings) or if things are bad, they really are bad. He has high standards and cannot handle a mistake. Countless drawings such as Santa Clause putting him into a big brown bag because he has been ‘bad’ (a phrase I never use) prove that guilt is a big issue. Thankfully, we have a network of specialists that still help us to this day. With their help my son gained confidence, changed into the regular schooling system, and knows how to order ice cream at the shop (first things first). Good and hard times come in waves. I try to never forget that, no matter if we have a low or an up at the moment. What can you do when meeting an autistic child (or adult)? Try to apply all of the above, communicate in short and clear sentences. If you see that they struggle with rules, try to be kind and explain step by step how to behave and resolve the situation. Remember that most families and kids already have been through a lot, try to be kind and not judgmental about the ‘weird’ behaviours that a child may show. Most kids really want to do everything right and stick to the rules once they get them. They just need a little help to get there, as we all sometimes do.

MARCH FOR OUR LIVES PHOTOGRAPHY ESSAY photography by Alexandra Knight

THE KEY TO FERTILITY LIFESTYLE ESSAY words by Cat Raincock

Much is known about acupuncture and its ability to assist in helping the body conceive but little is known about the power of hypnosis and fertility. According to a study by the Brisbane Fertility clinic, infertile women using mind/ body techniques such as hypnosis have a 42%55% conception rate compare to 20% with IVF. IVF for many couples, results in having a baby or two but at the cost of their health, emotional well-being and their bank account. This isn’t to say there aren’t positives about the IVF journey after all, it has given so many people a family however but I feel passionate in sharing and empowering women to consider an alternative before they embark on an IVF journey. Hypnosis is an alternative option that mind and are influenced by the way we think has far less effects on the bank account, stress and the way we feel. Changing our thinking levels, and one’s emotional wellbeing. causes changes both mentally and physically. We can actually change our biochemistry, once we Unknown to many, the answer lies within. Rapid know how. Transformational Therapy (RTT) hypnosis technique (pioneer and taught by Marisa Peer) Our bodies respond directly to our thoughts accesses your subconscious and gets to the very and beliefs, so if you think ‘I’m too old to get root of why the infertility occurs. pregnant,’ your mind and body will accept this and react accordingly. The hormones needed to My belief, backed up by science, is that our make you conceive are released in the brain and subconscious thoughts and beliefs about influenced by the way we think and the way we pregnancy, birth and raising children can feel, so negative emotions and beliefs can disrupt block our ability to conceive because of both them. conscious and unconscious fears. Every thought has a physical reaction in the body. Thoughts A very strong force in the human psyche is are things and they have consequences; good that nothing in our lives will influence us more thoughts have good consequences and negative than the things we link to pain and pleasure. thoughts eventually have negative consequences. Humans are ruled by these phenomena and Altering your thinking causes changes both it’s no exception when trying to get pregnant. mentally and physically because the hormones When we experience pain the brain searches needed to make pregnancy possible begin in the very hard for the cause of it and then stores that

information and does everything to ensure we don’t go through that experience again. Similarly, when we experience pleasure the brain searches for the cause of it and stores that information, too. For example, if you are shaken by a pregnancy scare and are then delighted to find you were not pregnant, this thought process can still influence you many years later. The good news is that humans can choose what to link pain and pleasure to. It is both a major advantage and an equal disadvantage. When you associate absolute pleasure with being pregnant and having a baby it’s an advantage. If your mind links pain to the thought of giving birth or losing your figure after having a baby, it can work against you. Baby blocks within the subconscious mind that can affect the body’s ability to conceive: • • • • • • • • • • • •

FEAR OF BIRTH FEAR OF HOSPITALS FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL OF BODY GUILT FROM A TERMINATION, MISCARRIAGE, STILL BIRTH FEAR OF BEING A BAD PARENT FEAR OF LOSING INDEPENDENCE FEAR OF THE BABY FEAR THE BABY WILL GROW UP AND REJECT THEM FEAR OF ABANDONMENT FEAR OF THE BABY INTERFERING IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP FEAR OF NOT LOVING THE BABY FEAR OF AGE

Clearing the blocks with this method of hypnosis means making way for a healthy mind and body to conceive. IVF, ICSI and IUI have transformed people’s lives, opening up the opportunity to begin and extend their families when they thought there was no chance but people often think these are their only options. Awareness about the power of hypnosis and fertility would give couple’s another option with far less cost, stress, time and tears and I believe it is vital to share this so that we can help people extend the opportunity of having a baby further and bring more happiness to couples and families. Science has proven that our subconscious thoughts and beliefs about conception, pregnancy, birth and raising children can block our ability to conceive because of both conscious and unconscious fears. If you are suffering from infertility or secondary infertility it is time to consider that your mind can disrupt your fertility. What’s more though, if your mind can disrupt your fertility, it can heal it too by changing the way we think and the way we talk to ourselves. This revolutionary hypnosis method releases the blocks, changes the way you think and ultimately the way you feel about pregnancy and being a parent which makes way for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

OLLI ELLA ARTISAN PROFILE words by Chloe Brookman and photography by Amelia Fullerton

I find inspiration in lots of things, from how my children play, from travelling with them, from the daily adventures we embark on. I’m inspired by the simplicity of children when it comes to play; how they ultimately need so little to be engaged or entertained if they are left to explore and experiment. I think it depends what frame of mind I am in when it comes to where I draw inspiration at any given time - sometimes something can shake you off your path and make you re-look at everything. I’m inspired by my friends, the ones who work hard and love their children fiercely, by the ones that dedicate themselves, by the ones who don’t forget who they really are, seperate from being mothers, by the friends who embrace the wonderful mess of motherhood.

So many good things are happening for Olli Ella! Our ongoing attention is focusing on our social impact when it comes to manufacturing, and ensuring that we are continuing to have a positive affect on the communities where we make our wares. We are really excited to launch a few powerful initiatives over the coming 12 months. With our product range we are really just continuing what we are doing - expanding some of our core ranges and also entering another new category mid-year next year.

I used to be much more goal oriented and driven when it comes to my career focus. Now that I’m a mother, I am much more laid back and take each day as it comes. I’ve found that I am, like many mothers will tell you, a much stronger multitasker and I’ve become less of a perfectionist.

Every moment, even the messy ones - especially the messy ones, are precious. Motherhood has taught me to slow down, to focus less on the end goal and enjoy the game of it all.

The biggest challenge of motherhood has been getting to know myself as a mother, without losing touch with the other part of me, the nonmothering me. It’s been humbling and beautiful and messy and exciting.

www.oliella.com

NICARAGUA TRAVEL ESSAY words and photography by Mellina Wallisch

During the winter holiday, our family backpacked around the cities and jungles of Nicaragua. We, my husband Dan and our children, Brodie and Mia, a fifth and third grader, are by nature drawn to the exploration of new lands. Nicaragua appealed to us. Friends who had visited relayed their experience of the natural beauty of the country and its people. We felt that it would be a good educational and cultural experience for our children who have been studying Spanish for years in a Spanish immersion school. So, for winter break, we traded our snowy mountain town of South Lake Tahoe, California, for the jungles of Central America. On a clear February day, we landed in Nicaragua’s bustling capitol of Managua. We hopped in a taxi for the the two-hour ride to Granada, our first stop. There we settled and rested in a canary yellow colonial hotel room with a courtyard pool. It was run by a jolly Irish man who welcomed us, made the kids laugh and cooked chocolate chip pancakes for the family before we departed for Isla de Ometepe the next morning. We set foot on Isla de Ometepe after several hours of traveling on land and water. The island is formed by two volcanoes in the middle of Lago de Nicaragua, one of the largest freshwater lakes in the world, and home to the bull shark. In a bumpy van, we navigated along the perimeter of the island around the volcanoes, slowing down for horses and wandering cows, pigs and chickens that crossed our path. By the end of the day, we found lodging on a finca, or organic farm off the beaten path.

Isla de Ometepe is a hidden paradise little known to outsiders. We spent our days soaking up the soothing vibes of the island. We were wakened to the eerie sounds of howler monkeys hanging out in the trees. Birdsong, chiming insects and swishing palm fronds in the tropical breeze completed the symphony played out on the island. Flocks of lime green parrots fluttered overhead. There are about 80 different bird species on the island. Among them was Brodie’s favorite, that he named “Fawkes” because of its resemblance to the Phoenix in Harry Potter. We sipped juice from fallen coconuts and soaked in mineral springs. We trotted to waterfalls on horseback and kayaked to islands inhabited solely by white-faced monkeys. We shared lemongrass tea on the roadside with a barefoot medicine man who said that shoes would obstruct his connection to the earth. We lived the days reading in a hammock, swimming in the lake, hiking in the jungle, playing in the beach or doing nothing. Time passed slowly or seemed not to pass at all.

Leaving the island, we ferried back to the port and after a four-hour taxi ride northward, we found Leon. A university town of intellectuals and artists. It is the birthplace of the famous poet Ruben Dario. Leon’s charm exudes from the historic colonial architecture, art museums and churches (over 16 of them), standing monuments against the passage of time. We spent hours watching passersby in the Parque de Central, or Central Park, sipping Pitaya, dragon fruit juice out of plastic bags. We stopped at a street vendor to buy fresh quesillos, cheese and sautéed onions wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. And there was the nearby Pacific beach of Los Penitas, a quiet surf beach dotted with restaurants and cabanas resting on sandy bottoms. There, my son’s foot was stung by a stingray while surfing. He was crying in pain as we carried him to a nearby shack where a local knew immediately what had happened. He calmly pulled a tube from a kit and extracted the venom. After soaking his foot in the hot water and sand for an hour, the pain subsided. All that remained was a scar on his big toe, a crescent shape that would flavor his childhood memory in later years.

The second part of our adventure began with a two-hour trip northwest of Leon to Playa Jiquilillo, a remote fishing village. Playa Jiquilillo is like no man’s land. It has no hospital or police. What it does have is endless miles of magnificent beaches of indescribable beauty. Blankets of pale gray sand stretch as far as the eye can see. Nothing but coconut palms and beautiful shells and crystals of every shape and color adorn the barren and rugged seascape. We stayed in little bamboo huts under palm thatched roofs a few steps from the beach. Ranchos, as they called them, were the homes of about one hundred families in the fishing village. We were very much on our own here. Each day we rose with the sun to the sounds of the jungle, crowing roosters and buzzing insects, among others. Mia loved running to the little pulperia to buy Nican candies and orange fanta in a glass bottle. One evening, under the rising full moon, while we were on the beach looking for agate crystals and sand dollars, we ran into a small group of turtle rescuers. They buy turtle eggs from poachers, then they incubate, hatch and release the baby turtles. Buying and selling turtle eggs are illegal in Nicaragua, but they continue to exist in the markets. We helped return the endangered baby turtles to the ocean. I was moved beyond myself as I watched our children swimming in the ocean with the baby turtles they had rescued, their little turtle heads bobbing up and down as if nodding in gratitude. Our diet consisted of fresh coconuts, locally grown yucca, plantains, cocoa, homemade yogurt and cheese, fruit smoothies and homemade Nicaraguan fare like Albondigas soup, fresh catch of the day and lots of gallo pinto (rice and beans). We spent most of our time with the ocean, jumping in and out of it throughout the day. There were hours of playing and yoga on the beach, reading and napping on hammocks and lingering and admiring the brilliant sun setting on the horizon. We set up a spot under a palm tree, toña cerveza in hand, feeling fully present and in awe of nature’s masterpiece. We thoroughly loved and learned from our trip. It was one of our most memorable travel experiences, both in the physical and spiritual realms. I have learned to appreciate the meaning of freedom, a sense of liberation from the excesses of modern lives. I felt so in tune with myself and the environs during those two blissful weeks with my family in Nicaragua. We returned home as better persons, with a deeper sensitivity and appreciation of our fragile and beautiful planet.

FIELDS OF JOY FASHION photography and styling by Rebecca Lindon

Eve wears dress by Tootsa MacGinty.

Flip flops by Havaiianas and swimsuits by Beanie & Bear.

Singlet by Children Of The Tribe and trousers by LiiLu Kid.

Dress by Kids On The Moon.

Shorts by Tootsa MacGinty and top by LiiLu Kid.

Dresses by Kids On The Moon and visor by Wildling Woman.

GIFT HER A VOICE PERSONAL ESSAY words and photography by Marlene Cronin

I was a highly sensitive child. Loud noises, strong smells and sad people overwhelmed me. My father was often violent and angry and my mother was passive-aggressive. I was not allowed to express my emotions, even a tut would be reprimanded severely. In school I remember barely breathing and keeping my body tight and small. In my teens I’d had enough of being an obedient drone and I stood up to my father on three distinct occasions, two of these resulted in a beating but the last one I had zero fear and he knew it, he looked confused and shook by my fury and backed away. I left home soon after. Meanwhile, my twelve year old daughter is a badass. She has challenged and called out a boy who was verbally intimidating another boy in her class, she cried foul when her P.E. teacher told the boys to “ease up” on the girls in a basketball match. She argues her point with sass and courage and I love her bones! Rewind eight years previously, she was starting school, confidently walking to her line with her two older brothers, happy with life. Then one day she wouldn’t get out of the car, she burst into tears and said she didn’t want to go in. Turns out her teacher shamed her in front of the whole class for not knowing a word in Irish. The same teacher had a reputation for scaring children, especially girls, with many parents privately telling me their children started bed wetting since joining her class.

her in with her brothers where she stayed for three years. It was a long and painful process for both of us. I had to stand at the top of her line, and pretend to stand outside her classroom before she’d agree to go in. Her teacher was asked to keep a daily journal of her interactions with Amber - she wasn’t happy, but she complied. I spent a long time rebuilding my daughter. I would constantly praise her and encourage her to speak up, it wasn’t easy for her and she would become fearful if an adult shouted. I used EFT to release the trauma of it and we tapped out deep anger. EFT or tapping as it’s more commonly known, is a system based on the energy meridians relating to stress. As you recall the traumatic event and tap on the points, you send a new signal to the brain. This re-patterns the nervous system in miraculous ways. She would defer to friends and then complain if she didn’t get what she wanted. I would say over and over “use your voice” if you don’t say what you want, someone else will. Eventually she started to shift, I would bring her to movies like Maleficent, Moana and Wonder Woman and point out the power and strength that she carries too. She began to speak up, she would call her friends out on their shitty moods, she would act like a queen with her Dad, which he was happy to indulge!

The girl she is now is fierce. She is confident, strong and ballsy, just as she was always meant to Amber went from being a happy child sleeping be. I had no voice as a child and she is everything in her own room, to a frightened, anxious baby I wished I could be. I get to reimagine my who wouldn’t sleep without crying. We moved childhood through her, pave a different path, and for that I am grateful. 69

It’s vital to raise our daughters to own their voices. We are bombarded constantly with information and images that try to take our power from us. Messages that effect how we see our bodies, our skin colour, our differences, making them somehow wrong. Bleach this, shave that, sculpt, shape, shame. We can help them to see their uniqueness by honouring our own. By openly celebrating our bodies, our voices, our choices... they see happy confident women living boldly and unbound. The kind of women that Queens are made of.

WESTERN AUSTRALIA TRAVEL ESSAY photography by Sarah Black

MERE SOEUR ARTISAN PROFILE words and photography by Carrie Anne Roberts

Before starting Mere Soeur my last two jobs were store assistant at Lush (which I actually really loved but got pregnant 5 months after starting as a Christmas temp) and before that I worked night shifts at a garlic bread factory. Neither of which have anything to do with my job now! I became a single parent when my son was 6 months old and was living on £400 a month maternity pay (which is as ridiculous as it sounds). I wanted more than anything to be able to stay at home with my baby but had no clue how I could make that happen. At the time I had no friends who were parents but I found support and sisterhood within the instagram community. My outlook changed and I started to feel part of something bigger and really quite proud of myself and the amazing women I’d met online. After that I began designing products that I wanted to wear and that reflected the way I felt about motherhood. I want the brand to grow with me and vice versa, so I’m going to take the clothing in a different direction, while still keeping the same message of sisterhood amongst mothers. I’m starting a new side project podcast with another single mother that touches on (dives head first into) the lesser spoken about side of single parenting and co-parenting. We both became single parents in our early twenties and there’s still a lot of stigma and assumptions made about the women in the situation but not so much the men. It can be a scary, lonely time and incredibly daunting so we’re hoping to help other women through by

sharing our experiences and the experiences of others. Before I became a mother I was happily coasting. I felt quite lucky that I became pregnant when I was just 23 and found what I wanted to do at an early age. I’m still learning how to get better at what I do and I get to do it all with River by my side. Motherhood changed almost every part of me, as it does for most people and I’m not afraid to aim high anymore because it’s for both of us. Time and patience have been the biggest challenges of motherhood. You never have enough of either. You also never really feel like you’re doing or being enough, you obviously are (and then some!) but you always want to do and be better for your child or children. We strive to be the best in our jobs and at home but it’s impossible to strike the perfect balance so its a case of finding what works best for you and your family without being too hard on yourself. Motherhood has taught me to not sweat the small stuff!!!! I say it all the time but it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the tiny, everyday minor inconveniences but none of it really matters. Motherhood forces you to shed a LOT of ego and rethink your perspective on life and the kind of person you want to be. It’s incredibly humbling so I guess I’d say that its taught me how to be more empathetic, more understanding and more driven. www.meresoeur.com

MINDFULNESS FOR CHILDREN LIFESTYLE ESSAY words by Marie Isaac

Recent research suggests that as many as one in six children, thats potentially 5 children in every class, are experiencing levels of anxiety that if left untreated could lead to depression. Stress is one of the biggest issues of modern man, never enough hours in the day, striving for more and unfortunately we are passing this stress onto our children. Living in this time of busy parenting, competitive schooling, exam pressure and social media, which is contributing to self-image issues, lack of communication and difficulty forming friendships, it is no surprise that our children are struggling to deal with their emotions positively, often displaying feelings of frustration and anger. There are a lot of similarities with teaching mindfulness to adults and children but adults often find they have more work in un-doing the habitual thought processes that they have fed for so long and sometimes can over intellectualise the whole process, whereas children seem to take onboard the concept of mindfulness more easily, simply noticing what is happening right now in that moment. The programme I teach, either through schools, or privately, offers effective methods of learning how to handle difficult thoughts and emotions more skilfully, to be kinder to themselves and others, helping them make better choices, be less reactive and to live in the present moment rather than reverting back to the unhelpful, habitual thought process of dwelling on the past or worrying about scenarios that may never happen in the future. The sessions are fun, interactive and engaging and we build on cultivating compassion, concentration, focus, empathy, resilience and confidence, with the hope they have these essential skills of mindful living for life. The children begin to display an overall sense of joy and happiness and feelings of calm and clarity. At the start of the course when we begin the meditation sitting practices, the children struggle to sit still for 15 seconds with our shuffling but by the end we notice great improvement in their concentration and self control, being happy and able to sit for 15 minutes at a time. They show a greater sense of self-awareness, confidence and compassion to others, becoming less reactive and feeling much happier and relaxed. At home, it can help to give children time and space to just ‘BE’ in the moment, using simple breathing techniques to help bring them back into their bodies and out of their heads, back into ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’ all the time. Breathing into the belly helps bring a sense of calm to a stressful situation, like before an exam or working on a piece of homework. In times of worry or frustration, really try not to add your stress and time pressure onto them by being a bit more organised, taking an extra 10 minutes to prepare uniform, school bag, shoes and lunch the night before. Help them to be aware of their feelings, thoughts and emotions and to understand that these feelings come and go, we don’t necessarily need to act them out, which can result in further feelings of regret and self-criticism.

Practice being aware in everyday activities like whilst eating, being fully present with enjoying their meal without the distraction from the television or when walking, noticing what is going on around them, the wind, sounds etc, rather than allowing the mind to wander onto a potential future worry like friendship groups, tests or a party. Often children catastrophise a scenario, making something into what it’s not, which creates a huge amount of anxiety. For example they may see a friend across the road, wave and shout out their name but do not get a response. They then believe this person no longer likes them, they must have done something to upset them, they won’t speak to them at school.... We can help them to perceive a situation for just how it is, more than likely they didn’t see you or hear you and the situation can be quite easily resolved by asking them next time ‘by the way I shouted hi to you the other day, didn’t you see me?’ Simple yet powerful exercises are writing a ‘Positivity’ or “Gratitude’ list every night. Many things could have gone so well for us in the day but unfortunately our brain tends to be like velcro for one bad thing and teflon for all the great things, so this exercise helps us realise all the wonderful things we have in our life to be grateful for which helps to bring us into a happy safe zone at bedtime. It is difficult to expect your children to be mindful if we are not mindful ourselves and so self-practice is a must. Children are like a sponge, soaking up everything around them - every vibration, sight, sound and touch. Explore how it is to be in their new and exciting world and learn to live your life with a ‘beginners mind’- we often need a reminder to see and appreciate the wonders we have all around us.

BEDROOM LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY ESSAY photography by Stephanie Bryan

VENICE TRAVEL ESSAY words and photography by Rebecca Fougerrousse

I travelled to Venice with my husband (Tom) and four year old son (Louis) as part of a 10 day trip to Europe. We planned our trip around visiting Austria (where my husband grew up) and when we realized how close Venice was, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to visit there as well. We took the Tauern Railway Tunnel from Bad Gastein where my husband’s uncle lives. We drove our car onto the train trailer and settled down in the train for a quick ride under the mountains of the Eastern Alps, which saved a good amount of time over driving the winding mountain roads. When we arrived on the other side, we had a 3.5 hour car drive to Venice. Since you aren’t able to bring cars onto the island, we parked our car at the Tronchetto parking station and took the vaporetto to the city. We stayed in a lovely AirBnB near the Rialto Bridge. Fortunately, we had an AMAZING hostess who gave us clear directions on where to park and which vaporetto to take and where to get off. The apartment was complete with a full kitchen, a beautiful balcony for drinking wine on, and a separate bedroom, which is great when you are traveling with a child! We were able to put Louis to sleep and have a few hours alone!

Louis tried to lure the cats and ran around the square just enjoying this massive amount of freedom. Of course, the architecture of Venice was just spectacular. We enjoyed the small pedestrian streets and the ornate buildings. As a photographer, I was in awe of the light in the city. Being on the water and the sun being low because it was December, the light had a soft glow and wrapped around the buildings illuminating the blue green water of the canals. It’s been five months since the trip and if you ask him his favorite part, it was most definitely the pigeon chasing and the chocolate gelato! We do our best to talk a lot about the trip in hopes that he’ll have some memories of it as he gets older.

This was one small part of a larger European trip, so we learned a lot about traveling with a little one. The most important for me was don’t have an agenda. While we set goals of what we wanted to see, we knew there was a good chance that we wouldn’t fit everything in. Before I had children, missing something I wanted to see would have frustrated me, but now I gladly trade it for a little extra time slowing down and For this particular leg of the trip, seeing our son just being present with my child in a new and have such freedom in an urban area was a great exciting place. experience. We live in a residential area in Dallas and while we are able to walk the sidewalks of Since this trip, we’ve been to Colorado as a family our neighborhood, there isn’t a lot of freedom and absolutely fallen in love with the mountains to run and explore. In December, Venice doesn’t there. We hope to return this winter for some have many tourists, so in many parts of the city snowboarding after discovering how easy it is he could run a little ahead of us, chase a group to get there from our home town, Dallas. We’ve of pigeons, or explore all the corners of a little also been planning to travel to Hawaii and hope campo. that everything lines up for that to finally happen this fall. We all love the beach and ocean and I We had a lovely lunch in one of the campi and know this would the perfect family trip for us! enjoyed an amazing bottle of house wine, while

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Beanie & Bear www.beanieandbear.com Children Of The Tribe

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Liilu www.liilu.de Havaianas www.havaianas-store.com Tootsa MacGinty www.tootsamacginty.com Wildling Woman www.wildlingmagazine.com/shop Kids On The Moon www.kidsonthemoon.com

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