VIP Alexandria Magazine | The Holiday Issue 2020

Page 8

the gift of boundaries Story by Dr. Eleni Boosalis of Del Ray Psych

The holidays are upon us, along with all the associated stressors—the socially distanced holiday parties, gift giving, card sending, homeschooling and cookie making—all while trying to maintain some sanity amidst a persistent pandemic. Additionally, this time of year presents us with numerous opportunities to set boundaries for ourselves and for the loved ones in our lives. This year more than ever, setting boundaries with others is imperative. In a world where we crave both safety and social connection, we are faced with the challenge of balancing both. We desire to connect with others, yet want to stay socially distant. We often look forward to seeing certain people every holiday, but this year we may experience a heightened sense of stress as the holidays approach.

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This month, take inventory of who and what feeds your soul. Notice if you are feeling pressured to say “yes” to social and family gatherings. Ask yourself if you really want to go to certain events or if you are simply saying “yes” out of guilt. In order to truly practice self love and decrease stress this holiday season, notice if you are making yourself a priority or if you are putting everyone else’s needs before your own. Do you find that you avoid expressing your opinion for fear of creating conflict? Is it easier to “keep the peace” and not “rock the boat?” These are all great questions to consider as you take inventory of where to create emotional boundaries and set verbal and non-verbal expectations for what you are comfortable with. Here are five tips on how you can start setting emotional boundaries for yourself. Although it may initially seem daunting, taking small steps toward


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