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College Tribune | 2nd April 2009
Regs News
Random Review Bas Rutten’s Lethal Street Fighting Self Defense System (youtube) For all you bad drunks out there and womanisers, Bas Rutten’s Lethal Street Fighting Self Defence System might be for you. He gives various demonstrations on how to survive confrontations in the bar and on the street. Applying such delicate methods such as throwing saltshakers, smashing bottles across heads and kicking people in the groin. But what makes it all the more funny is how serious he takes himself, whilst unknowingly coming across as someone taking the piss. At first one is unsure whether this guy is for real. Whether he is ironically taking the
piss? But no, not in any way! His dodgy facial expressions, as well as great turns of phrase make for good viewing. Put it this way, this guy is a big hit on you tube, not likely as a source of knowledge for bar room self defence techniques, but rather for the comedic aspect. At one point he demonstrates turning defence into attack in response to a knife attack. At the point of inflicting the serious pain on the aggressor, he advises you to rationalise on whether stabbing him in the upper leg, or in the liver depending on how serious the attacker’s
intentions were. Justifying the latter if the guy really tries to kill you. There is no eastern philosophy of limiting harm to the attacker here. But his old favourite is the tried and trusted good old kick to the groin. Also, the shin to the head is one to watch out for. Watching him demonstrate such an action is hilarious. He does this piece where he is imitating a scenario with an imaginary attacker ‘‘I can play the innocent person and say ‘look sir I really don’t want anything of this’ and then I go ah stabbing the knife into his throat’’. His abrasive sudden
action of the stabbing movement is a little alarming. Or else his advice on why in his prior experience, breaking a glass bottle is not a good tool for a stabbing device, as it is likely to break into pieces and no longer be a useful weapon, preferring instead to use it for the smash across the head. He was actually a professional UFC fighter, who was known for his famous liver shots, a favourite of his. He also has videos of him self up on you tube providing commentary to his fights. In one fight he talks the viewer through the fight in hindsight. He reveals how he is
practically toying with the fighter. And just before the knock out he says ‘at this point I decide to knock him out’. Get for real mate! As if you expect us to believe that you were in such control of the fight. But this type of egotism is what makes him so funny. In fairness to him though he is actually a nice bloke, and has a renowned UFC career with 22 unbeaten fights. He is definitely worth a watch on you tube if you are looking for a good laugh, or actually want to polish up on your bar fighting skills.
What Ever Happened to... Emo Blogs? “Not all scars show, not all wounds heal, sometimes you can’t always see the pain someone feels” *Sigh* …I awoke in a melancholic mood today; I ate a burger last night, forgot to keep up my new bulimic routine and now I can’t fit into those skinny jeans I borrowed off my little sisterlife is just so cruel. At least I have my music though, and my poems, they’re so like deep and shit, like that band My Chemical Romance it’s the best for focusing my creative energy; their lyrics make me wanna just cry, they like totally speak to me. The world is still shitting all over me; trying to keep me down. I took two and a half paracetomal last night before bed in an attempt to dull the constant pounding heartache I feel every minute of every day; you’re only meant to take two but sometimes I’m so
careless with my life, what’s the point anyway? But I don’t know if it was all those drugs or an out of body experience but I had
this surreal dream where I was in a jail cell lying on this huge bed covered in black roses; I accidentally pricked my self on of the thorns I was caressing and black blood started trickling out of my finger. Then,
I looked up and Pete Wentz appeared beside me and sucked the blood out of my finger. (More details in dream diary) When I woke up, I had a tingly hard on. I don’t know if this means I am gay but I am really confused. Sure I wear black nail polish but that doesn’t mean I’m a fag, no matter what my dad says. It just means I’m different from everyone else; IS THAT SO WRONG? Being different from what is “socially acceptable” is so hard nowadays; No one understands me; what’s the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away? It was my day of birth yesterday, time just keeps passing but my emotions never change. (could make good poem?) We went to
Ramp and Rail to escape from reality for a bit; I just transcend the monotony of life when I’m grinding the rails. Me and the guys had a really deep discussion as well in that great antiestablishment coffee place. The presents I got were shit though; Mom burst out crying when I told her that I HATED the pastel clothes she got me. EVERYONE knows I only wear the colours that reflect my mood. Dad got angry when he saw me applying my everlasting black lipstick and eyeliner and keeps telling me to grow a pair. They don’t understand that my eyeliner and the way I dress is how I express myself and my feelings to the world. Nothing or no one can compare to my sorrow; I wish I was dead. Katy pointed out my rad cutting scars in front of everyone in class the other day when I was
carving Fall Out Boy into my arm with the razor from my pencil sharpener. She thinks she can help; why cant she realise I’ll never get through this, she doesn’t know what it’s like growing up in Ballinteer with a family who don’t express themselves through poetry or song. Yours despondently, Lonely_Boy_666