Transformation Coaching Magazine August 2023

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Here at Transformation Academy we are excited to announce our August’s Transformation Academy Rising Star – John

Emenecker!

Our goal with this initiative is to recognize and celebrate group membership who demonstrate the heart and service of a coach. Each monthly recipient of this recognition will be selected for a unique reason. Some will be seasoned coaches who serve as valuable mentors within the group. Others may be just starting their coach-training journey and exude a contagious attitude or passion. Others may be actively supporting other group members, whether by providing resources, answering common questions, or providing moral support. Regardless of each of our wonderful group members’ background or experience, we all benefit from the mutual support and varied perspectives offered within this diverse group!

The Rising Star initiative is a way to give a special THANK YOU to those who go above and beyond to share of themselves within this community.

ABOUT JOHN:

John Emenecker, Appleton, Wisconsin The Social Confidence Coach

“I would like to see others’ lives transformed because it is amazing to freely express yourself without the constant fear of being judged.”

Hi, I’m John. I always felt anxious in my personal life and at work. Dale Carnegie, an anxiety group, and additional research taught me techniques to lower my anxiety in social situations. I learned to change the way I think. I rewired my brain. When I first heard this, I didn’t think it was possible—but it is possible to change your neural network. It took evaluating many social situations, applying these skills consistently in more challenging social situations, and using calming and relaxation techniques to see a change. My desire is to coach what I have learned in Transformation Academy’s life and confidence coach certifications, and techniques I have learned throughout my life. I would like to see others’ lives transformed because it is amazing to freely express yourself without the constant fear of being judged.

WHAT IS YOUR NICHE (COACHING FOCUS) AND HOW DID YOU CHOOSE IT?

I soon will be a social confidence coach, helping those who are socially anxious, shy or struggle socializing to become socially confident. I chose this niche because I have had social anxiety and have been shy for most of my life. I have gone through this transformation, and being able to freely express yourself without the constant fear of being judged is amazing. I would like to help those like me become socially confident in their personal and professional lives.

WHO IS YOUR IDEAL CLIENT?

My ideal client is any adult who struggles socializing, either because they are socially anxious, shy, or want to improve their social skills.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO BECOME A LIFE COACH?

I have been through this transformation, and I would like to see others who are socially anxious or shy be able to express themselves to family, friends, coworkers and strangers because it is amazing. My parents noticed I was alone most of the time in school. I almost ended up in the yearbook as the shyest senior. I attended Dale Carnegie. I read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. I was in debate and forensics in high school. I wasn’t the best, but I am more comfortable giving a presentation than I am one-on-one or in small groups. I was socially anxious in college and at work. I attended a social anxiety group. Unfortunately, I didn’t complete it because I was socially anxious. It wasn’t until I completed an anxiety group, learned guided mediation, assertiveness and cognitive behavioral therapy, and then applied what I learned consistently over six months that I started to notice a change. A therapist said I needed to retrain my brain. I didn’t think it was possible—but it is. My neural synapses changed, and I now feel less anxious socializing. As I mentioned, I would like to see those who are socially anxious or shy feel what it is like to comfortably and freely express themselves because it is amazing talking to family, friends, coworkers and strangers without that fear of being judged.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN COACHING?

I haven’t started coaching yet, but I will soon. Hopefully, before this issue goes to press. I have been in idea

paralysis mode trying to think through how I can help my future clients in their transformation journey.

HOW DID YOU GET YOUR FIRST CLIENT?

I haven’t officially helped a client. However, I have helped members in social anxiety and shy Facebook Groups.

HOW HAS YOUR COACHING JOURNEY CHANGED YOUR LIFE?

I feel it will change my life because it is a career, and I will help my clients on their journey. I have been in corporate communications, training, and IT in the past. I didn’t really feel fulfilled. I started looking for a career in a helping field. I believe coaching will fill my desire to impact lives in a meaningful way.

WHAT IS THE MOST CHALLENGING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?

I believe the most challenging part of starting as a life coach is designing a coaching program that will transform lives. I have taken Transformation Academy certifications and spent a considerable amount of time deciding what to include in my program.

WHAT IS THE MOST FULFILLING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?

I believe the most fulfilling part of being a coach will be making a difference in my clients’ lives. My favorite quote is “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” [Mahatma Gandhi] This is the change I would like to be. I would like to see my clients become socially confident.

WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR MOST INSPIRATIONAL COACHING MOMENT, WITH A CLIENT?

My inspiring moment so far has been helping someone on Facebook who is shy and socially anxious. I have been supporting him on his journey. I see he continues to have self-doubt, fear, rejection, and is shy. However, he is making progress!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COACHING ACTIVITY OR EXERCISE TO DO WITH CLIENTS?

My favorite coaching activity for helping people become socially confident is roleplaying and giving them a chance to practice these skills online and in real life. Reframing your thoughts so they are positive and putting yourself into increasingly challenging social situations are the core elements to becoming socially confident.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST EFFECTIVE STRATEGY FOR FINDING CLIENTS AND/OR GROWING YOUR BUSINESS?

I am not sure yet what the most effective strategy will be to find clients. I am working with a business coach and trying

to DM potential clients. I am not really convinced that this is the best strategy. I think helping others in Facebook Groups and, if they have found my posts helpful, asking them if I can send them a friend request and DM may be the best strategy. I might try Facebook advertising.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF BACK WHEN YOU FIRST DREAMED OF BECOMING A COACH?

The advice I give myself as a coach starting out is to just do it. I have been thinking about this for quite some time. I am confident what I will teach and coach will work. If I have a program in place, I can I ask for feedback and continually improve it.

WHAT IS THE IMPACT YOU WANT TO MAKE IN THIS WORLD?

The impact I would like to make in this world is to coach on topics that I have personally experienced transition through addressing, like social anxiety or shyness, or those areas where I am currently experiencing ongoing transformation, like living a healthy lifestyle. I am a cancer survivor and someone recently diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I would like to support others on their transformational journeys.

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Seven reasons why coaching is essential for leaders.

By Marla J. Albertie

In today’s dynamic and unpredictable business landscape, effective leadership has become more crucial than ever. Organizations need leaders who can navigate complexities, inspire teams, and drive sustainable results. However, leadership skills are not innate; they require continuous development and refinement. This is where coaching plays a pivotal role: It is essential for leaders to unlock their full potential. Here’s why:

1. SELF-AWARENESS AND PERSONAL GROWTH:

Leadership coaching fosters self-awareness, a fundamental pillar of effective leadership and the first factor for emotional intelligence. Through reflective conversations, assessments and feedback, coaches help leaders gain insights into their strengths, blind spots, and areas for growth. This selfawareness allows leaders to leverage their strengths and address limitations, leading to personal and professional growth.

2. ENHANCING LEADERSHIP SKILLS:

Coaching focuses on developing specific leadership competencies tailored to the individual leader’s needs and style. Coaches work closely with leaders to enhance communication, emotional intelligence, decision-making, strategic thinking, and other critical skills. By honing these skills, leaders become more adaptable, agile and capable of driving positive change within their organizations and teams.

3. BUILDING HIGH-PERFORMING TEAMS:

Leadership is not only about individual capabilities, but also about building and leading high-performing teams. Coaches help leaders develop strategies to foster collaboration, empower team members and create a culture of trust, accountability and—most importantly—psychological safety. By understanding team dynamics and leveraging effective leadership techniques, leaders can inspire their teams to achieve exceptional results.

4. MANAGING CHANGE AND UNCERTAINTY:

In today’s rapidly evolving business landscape, change and uncertainty are constant and needed. Leaders must navigate

these challenges with resilience and agility. Coaching equips leaders with the tools and mindset necessary to adapt and thrive amidst change. Coaches provide support, guidance and strategies to help leaders manage transitions, make informed decisions, and inspire confidence in their teams.

5. CONFLICT RESOLUTION AND INFLUENCING SKILLS:

Leaders often face complex interpersonal dynamics and challenging situations that require effective conflict resolution and influencing skills. Through coaching, leaders can develop their ability to navigate conflicts, engage in difficult conversations and influence stakeholders effectively. These skills enable leaders to build constructive relationships, resolve conflicts and drive alignment toward shared goals.

6. ACCOUNTABILITY AND GOAL ACHIEVEMENT:

Coaching provides leaders with a framework for setting meaningful goals and holding themselves accountable. Coaches help leaders de fine clear objectives, establish action plans, and monitor progress. This accountability ensures that leaders stay focused, motivated and committed to achieving their goals, resulting in higher performance and greater success.

7. WORK-LIFE INTEGRATION/HARMONY AND WELL-BEING:

Leadership roles often come with significant demands and stress. Coaching helps leaders achieve work-life integration/harmony and prioritize their well-being. Coaches assist leaders in developing strategies to manage stress, enhance resilience, and maintain healthy work-life balance. This holistic approach ensures that leaders can sustain their effectiveness and make sound decisions in all aspects of their lives. Leadership coaching is a transformative process that empowers leaders to reach their full potential. By fostering self-awareness, developing essential skills and providing support, as a coach, you can equips leaders with the tools needed to navigate challenges, inspire teams and drive organizational success.

Marla J. Albertie is the founder Truth Speaks Group, LLC, a multi-media coaching company dedicated to creating solutions for integrating work and life to create harmony. Marla loves to read, is a concert and comedy show junkie and a cruiser for life. Follow Marla on Twitter @tspeakscoaching and IG @Tspeaksgroup. Sign up for the Truth Speaks Group LLC Newsletter at https://www.truthspeakscoaching.com/

THE ART OF LEADERSHIP & DECISION MAKING

THE ART OF LEADERSHIP & DECISION MAKING

The Art of Leadership & Decision Making

A process for making good decision in the workplace and life.

By Darrel L. Hammon

Over the years in my leadership positions, I have made numerous decisions, some disastrous and some genius, many more somewhere between the two. I have enjoyed making decisions. The better ones have always been more effective if I follow a process. The following 10 decisionmaking principles constitute a process that has helped me make good decisions in the workplace and my life, and I believe they can help you and your coaching clients:

1. REALIZE YOU ARE THE DECISION MAKER.

Ah, therein lies one of the biggest scopes of a leader. You have to make decisions. You cannot avoid them. Not making a decision is a decision, albeit sometimes not necessarily a good one. Some decisions will be easy, some will be hard, some will create challenges for others, some may even offend others, some will be genius, some will be dumb, and some will show you are the greatest leader of all times. But mostly decisions will propel you and/or your organization along the path of success.

2. UNDERSTAND BOTH SIDES OF THE DECISION.

Perhaps, we should say that you must understand all sides of the decision. Initially, you may think that a “yes” or a “no” decision is in order. In reality, there are other sides of the decision: “Maybe not right now.” “Let’s involve others in the decision-making process.” “Are there aspects we are not seeing?” And many others.

3. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

Decision-making constitutes doing your homework, whether it is visiting with others, reviewing the data, digging through the research, contemplating outcomes and workload, debating pros and cons, or acknowledging and ultimately accepting consequences. While doing your homework, you should also realize that your decision must be timely.

5. INVOLVE OTHERS IN THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS.

You may have to make the final decision, but you should involve the people you have hired in helping you make the decision. If you have hired correctly, they are smart people, more than capable of reviewing with you any challenges that might come because of the decision. They probably can see angles you may not have foreseen. Trust them. Include them. Involving good heads, strong hearts, and good visionaries and pragmatists will always make you a better leader.

5. MAKE THE DECISION.

Ironically, you have to make the decision. Of course, you will make the decision after you have done your homework, listened to others, and understand the potential consequences. But ultimately, the decision is yours. I know a few so-called leaders who think about it and think about and put off making the decision to the extreme. So, when the decision is finally made, people whose lives and jobs depend on the situation

and have done everything in their power to help their leader with the decision have basically downgraded their opinion(s) of the leader. Leaders make decisions. Better stated: Leaders make timely, informed decisions.

6. UNDERSTAND THE CONSEQUENCE(S) OF YOUR DECISION.

Fortunately—or unfortunately—there will be consequences to your decision. Many “ouches” will come your way, like ripping off a band aid. It may hurt for a moment or two—maybe even a year or two or even longer— but if you have done your homework, involved others, and made a good decision, then you can and should accept the outcome.

7. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE DECISION.

There will be decisions that will not be good ones. It is inevitable. Instead of blaming others, take full ownership of it. You are/were/will be the ultimate decision maker. If the decision is not a good one, go to the evaluation/assessment component of the process. There may have been an angle you or your team overlooked. Or there may have been an unintended consequence. Do not be afraid to be accountable for the decision. Be sure, though, to give out the appropriate accolades because of a good decision. It will make you a better and a more effective leader.

8. ASSESS THE DECISION.

Yes, you have to determine whether your decision is a good one.

When you brush your teeth with an electric toothbrush, you know that’s a good decision, especially when you go to your six-month checkup, and the dental hygienist tells you your gums are looking good. Assessment should always be a part of the decision-making process. If changes need to occur, then make them, following a similar process you followed with some variation to make the right decision.

9. FOLLOW UP.

Once the decision has been made and you have completed the assessment, continue to follow up to make sure the decision is still a good one and on track toward success. Sometimes, you will have to review and perhaps reevaluate the decision. There is no shame in saying, “Well, that wasn’t the best decision we have ever made. Let’s take another look and try again.”

10. DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR THE BAD DECISIONS.

Guess what, bad decisions creep into the leadership equation. Unfortunately, you cannot make good decisions 100 percent of the time. You can make a zillion good decisions, but often there will be that one decision that may haunt you for the rest of your life. You cannot, however, continue to focus on that bad decision. Why?

Because it will be so close in your line of vision that it will obstruct the bigger picture, the vision of what you need to do. The most amazing thing that can happen from making a bad decision is how you turn a bad decision into a good one and move forward. Or maybe even be willing to discard the decision completely. Sometimes, you just have to shake your head a few times and move on.

Decision-making is one of the most challenging aspects of being a leader. It can create heartache and heartburn while simultaneously euphoria and self-satisfaction. The key to good, effective decision-making is this: You have to make them. Just make sure you have done everything you can to make a good decision and then be willing to accept whatever consequence that follows, good or bad.

Darrel L. Hammon has been dabbling in writing in a variety of genres since his college days, having published poetry, academic and personal articles/essays, a book titled Completing Graduate School Long Distance (Sage Publications), and a picture book, The Adventures of Bob the Bullfrog: Christmas Beneath a Frozen Lake (Outskirts Press). He also was the editor of the Journal of Adult Education (Mountain Plains Adult Education Association). Most of his essay/article writing has focused on topics about growing up, leadership, self-awareness, motivation, marriage/dating, and educational topics. Some of these articles/essays are in Spanish because Darrel is bilingual in Spanish/English, having lived in Chile, Dominican Republic, and southern California, and having worked with Latino youth and families all of his professional life in higher education. He has two blogs, one for personal writing at http://www.darrelhammon.blogspot.com/ and one for his consulting/life coaching business (http://www.hammonconsults.blogspot.com/). You can listen to a poem titled “Sprucing Up” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihTmuOUIAEI

Having a Unique Value Proposition differentiates your business and lets clients know exactly what you can deliver.

By Christine Morse

Learning to clearly articulate how you will help coaching clients is not as easy as it may seem. Discovering your unique value proposition (UVP) will help you quickly communicate your value and share it through your website.

A UVP is a promise of value to be delivered. It is the primary reason a prospect should buy from you.

A UVP is a clear statement that:

• explains how your service and/or product solves customers’ problems or improves their situation (relevancy),

• delivers specific benefits (quantified value), and

• tells the ideal customer why they should buy from you and not from the competition (unique differentiation).

There is no one right way to go about it, but I suggest you start with the following formula:

Headline: What is the bottom-line benefit you’re offering? One short sentence that can mention the service, product and/or the customer. It’s an attention grabber.

Sub-headline or a two- to three-sentence paragraph: A specific explanation of what you do/offer, for whom, and why is it useful.

Three bullet points: List the key benefits or features.

Visual: Images communicate much faster than words. Show the product, the hero shot or an image reinforcing your main message.

Evaluate your UVP by checking whether it answers the questions below:

• What product or service is your company selling?

• What is the end-benefit of using it?

• Who is your target customer for this product or service? Someone who needs what?

• What makes your offering unique and different?

Use the headline-paragraph-bullets-visual formula to structure the answers.

Don’t just rely on a video to do the job. Your UVP has to be in words people can read. Video should provide extra supplemental information.

Here’s a bad example: “We’ll supercharge your website.” Nobody will understand what that means.

Here’s the way to state it as in the UVP format: “We can guarantee your website will load images and content at a 95 percent faster rate.”

A strong UVP can help your clients connect with your brand and offerings. Take the time to craft the message, and the long-term benefits will follow.

Christine Morse has over 20 years of experience in marketing, team leadership, client relations and sales with companies such as Herman Miller, Amway International, Spectrum Health, Avid Marketing, Wyoming Kentwood Chamber of Commerce, and several disability network nonprofits. She formed Avid Alliance in 2009, which is focused on helping people to understand how beneficial it is to use free and low-cost tools for excellent branding and business expansion. Christine excels at providing strategic counsel and is a business growth implementor with a focus on marketing and sales. She has helped thousands of people to learn about identifying their ideal client and competitors, realizing their strengths and weaknesses to determine which tactics will work best for quick business growth. She also donates her time and energy towards many nonprofit organizations which contribute to the sustainability of this community. Visit her website at https://avidmarketingalliance.com.

Why not choose to view your past successes or the potential of the bright days ahead?

By Terez Hartmann

YOUR BUILT-IN TIME TRAVEL DEVICE

Imagine if you had the ability to go to any point in time instantaneously and immediately summon whatever mood or feelings you’d like to experience? While this may sound like an unrealistic premise, the truth is that you actually DO have this power every day and don’t even need a DeLorean with a flux capacitor! All that any one of us ever needs to do is ride the wavelengths of our eternal, multidimensional mind, and we can bring ourselves to any scene, with any cast of characters, at any time. So rather than visit the biggest past bummer (or potential future bummer) times, why not choose to view your past successes or the potential of the bright days ahead?

USE THE PAST WISELY

We all have memories of amazing, fun, and happy times in our lives that we love to revisit and replay, and, just like a favorite movie or song, certain memories or stories never seem to get old. But if you like the idea of staying in a flow of attracting and allowing the good stuff, it is equally important to be present and pay attention to how you feel both during and after your mental trips to the past. If a past memory is an easy go-to that inspires a happy mood or helps you to remember that things always have a way of working out for you, then by all means, enjoy your retro-party to the max! But if you come away feeling that the past was better than the future could ever be, you unknowingly create a tomorrow

that continues to be less, instead of more. The fix? Rather than stay stuck in a loop of less-ness, ask yourself this question:

What could be even better than what has come before?

No matter how great your career, relationships, home, adventures, etc. have been, there is ALWAYS room for bigger, better and more! And when you open yourself up to the possibility that better CAN be, you just might come to realize that the best truly IS yet to come!

WHAT IF?

Like the idea of allowing a future that is alive with the possibility of all manner of fab-YOU-lousity? Rather than ask unproductive “what if?” questions that evoke worry and fear, what if you what-iffed for the good stuff? Try these on for size:

What if things really can work out well for all involved?

What if I really can have what I truly want?

What if it is even better than I could have imagined?

What if it could be easy and fun?

What if today could be better than yesterday?

What if I discovered the ideal solution today?

What if you used your what ifs to allow some wonderful experiences, opportunities and outcomes?

THE BOTTOM LINE ON EFFECTIVE TIME TRAVEL:

Whether you are thinking about the past, present or future, the fact remains that you are always doing it NOW, and for better or worse, what you think and how you feel about ANY time period affects your point of attraction in the PRESENT tense. With the Universe at your fingertips, here’s to choosing the times and spaces that make NOW one of your favorite places! Rock on time traveler!

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann is a Visionary Creative & top-rated instructor, Law of Attraction & Allowing YOUR Success specialist, published author, speaker, singer-songwriter, recording & performing artist & composer, “Catalyst for Fab-YOU-lous” and true Renaissance Woman who has already helped over 10,000 students in over 130 countries allow success and live life on FIRE. She is deeply passionate about helping other Powerful Creatives and Leading-Edge Thinkers live unique, empowered lives on their terms by cultivating the courage to dream, to express themselves boldly & authentically, and to focus Onward, Upward and Forward into new possibilities. http://www.terezfirewoman.com

Clearing out the clutter will help you feel more calm, happy and content.

By Tracey Ashcraft

We are conditioned in our culture to want more. More clothes, more food, more furniture, more gadgets, more money to buy more things….What if less is more?

As someone who left the corporate world and my steady paycheck, I had to figure out new ways to make life enjoyable. While I was building my private practice, I found that I needed to simplify my life. It didn’t happen all at once; it was a gradual process. As I began clearing out the clutter, literally and figuratively, I noticed I felt more calm and happy. Here are some tips to help you start simplifying your life today.

1) Get clear about your priorities. For example, you may realize that the most important thing for you is to spend more time with your family. Or you may discover that you are stressed because you can’t find anything when you need it, and this is making you unhappy. Once you hone in on what you really want in life, write it down.

2) Assess what is getting in the way of achieving your priorities. You may want to have more family time but see that everyone in the home is always running to meetings and practices. Days slip into weeks, and no one is spending more than a few minutes a day with each other. Make a plan to create time each week to be together. If dinners together don’t work, then

get creative. Maybe you can have 15-minute “tell us about your day” time before TVs and computers go on in the evening.

3) Clean out the clutter little by little. Pick a section of your home (your living space) to de-clutter each week. Remember the goal is to simplify your life, and this can be a simple process, too. Start with cleaning out something small like one junk drawer. Once you have it clean and organized, you will need to commit to keeping it clean. If it was a junk drawer, then you will need to designate it as something else. It could become the drawer for pens and small pads of paper for lists. Over time, you will notice that your living space takes far less time to clean. You may also notice that you spend less time looking for things. All of this translates to less stress and a simpler life.

4) Only allow things into your home that are useful or bring you joy We can easily get caught up into buying something because it was a great deal or we think we will use it “someday.” Here is your chance to be mindful of what you bring into your home. Managing stuff takes work and complicates our lives. As you clear out the clutter little by little, you will notice more room in your living space. Be sure not to fill it back in with new stuff. Before you bring something into your

home, ask yourself, “Is this useful now? Will this bring me joy?” If you are unsure about the answer, then leave the item out there in the world for someone else.

5) Create systems that save time. I have found that many people hate the mail. It comes everyday, and it’s usually bad news. People who don’t like mail tend to avoid it, but that can create other problems and leads to complications. Here is a time saver for the mail. Open your mail as soon as you get it each day. Throw out junk mail immediately. Open bills and throw out everything but the payment coupon and the return envelop. Stick the payment coupon perpendicular inside the return envelope and stick it into a folder marked bills. Put cards, letters and magazines into a pretty basket. Go through the basket once a month and throw out anything you no longer need.

6) Empower your kids to help Even small kids can help around the house. If mornings are hectic getting everyone ready and out the door, encourage kids to have clothes ready the night before. For smaller kids, install a clothing stacker in their closet. Some are even labeled with the days of the week. You or your child, depending on their age, can fill the stacker once a week with outfits for each day. Be sure to include, socks

and underwear. Your child can choose which outfit they want to wear each day.

7) Learn to say no. This is an important tip if you are someone who easily gets overbooked. It can be hard to say no if you want to please others. If it is your priority to simplify your life, then it will be important to be able to turn down requests to volunteer, go to an in-home shopping party, or talk to an energy vampire on the phone for hours. This also may mean limiting time with people who drain life from you. It is ok and important to take care of yourself first. When you are rested and can notice space in your week, you will be in a better position to be there for your family and friends.

8) Limit screen time. Technology is fun and can help make our lives more enjoyable. That being said, too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing. It is easy to have: a work and a personal voicemail box to check; several email accounts, each with their own junk folder to manage; a Facebook account; Twitter feed to follow; news apps to peruse; e-magazine subscriptions to read; favorite TV shows saved on a DVR to watch; and Netflix shows to binge. Try to set up specific times to check important accounts each day. Once you have the time established, only check them at that time. Limit the amount of time you actually stare at

a screen, and get outside for a part of each day.

9) Appreciate the simple things. Instead of surfing on the Internet for your next purchase, take a look at the things you already have. Discover them all over again. Enjoy making a meal with your family. On a nice day, make a pitcher of Arnold Palmers (half unsweetened iced tea, half lemonade) and invite a friend over to sit outside and talk, or take a walk in nature with your kids. Gather pinecones, shells or whatever cool things you find and put them in a large Mason jar for display. These are the moments that make up our lives. Keeping it

simple actually is less stressful and more enjoyable than most elaborately planned events.

10) Have gratitude. We tend to not feel satisfied. This drive for “more” can complicate our lives. When you notice yourself wanting more, make a mental list of all that you are grateful for in your life. It is quite eye opening, and it can change your attitude. Remember simplifying your life is a gentle process. You don’t want to take this all on at once or you will be complicating things more. Little by little, if you follow these steps, you will discover that— yes—your life can become simple. You don’t have to be a part of the rat race. You will be too busy enjoying your simple life.

Tracey Ashcraft, MA, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Life-Purpose Coach and entrepreneur. After 10 years as an award winning sales representative, she earned a Masters in Counseling from Regis University in Denver, CO. She founded Best Life Therapy in 2004, a practice specializing in helping adults and college students to heal from toxic relationships. Tracey offers a down-to-earth, tell-it-like-it-is, sometimes humorous approach that helps clients create a life they are excited to live. She is a co-author of the book Transform Your Life. For more information visit https://www.bestlifetherapy.com

How to improve your communications skills in challenging situations.

By Lisa Hawkins

I’ve had to deal with unhealthy communicators for most of my life. At some point, my brain decided that I must be the problem. While others seemed to get validation for the games they played and how poorly they communicated, I was born to seek clarity, and, as a result, I became the black sheep. However, instead of letting it pull me down, it fueled my desire to turn healthy communication into a career.

One day, I realized that I’d done everything possible to encourage clarity and understanding in my interactions with others, yet some of my family members and coworkers just weren’t invested in better communications. Some days, I wanted to jump off a proverbial bridge to get some kind of separation from these maddening situations. Over time, I realized that it was stressful trying to clarify and communicate clearly with people who have an invested interest in misunderstanding me to promote their own agendas, so I learned to let go of the outcomes.

I realized that when you show up in an unhealthy environment with healthy talk, people will get angry. They will see you as a threat because their stories are being challenged, and, whether they consciously know it or not, they are kicking back because you aren’t playing the games they have set up.

When you find yourself in a similar situation, use your wonderful critical thinking skills to see it for what it is: You

are not the problem. It takes the ability to step out of your emotions around the exchange and reflect on them to see the stories others are creating. Of course, there are lessons for you as well. Rather than trying harder to get your points across, step back and become a third-party observer. Keep in mind that your point of view is not being rejected for a rational reason—you are being rejected because you have shown up with a healthy perspective. For the dynamics to change, others must shift and deal with their stories being challenged—and most people are not willing to do that.

I know it’s stressful! I do! Some days, I’d rather chew off my arm than deal with these situations. Remember that you can’t change others. It’s also helpful to have the support of healthy people who understand you, and to learn to be your own best friend. Next, ground yourself and snap back into your own reality or perspective when you are challenged. The stronger you are, the less you will shrink energetically when confronted with individuals or groups that have unhealthy communication styles and stories. Tell yourself, “I am not the issue. They aren’t willing to step outside of their lines of reasoning and learn a better way.”

Shrinking down energetically means you feel smaller. The moment you feel inferior, the moment you feel wounded by a situation, others can sense it, and it makes it easier for them to chip away at you. If you look at successful people, you will notice that they stand up and become

rock solid within themselves when challenged, and this is how they use each brick thrown at them to build a castle. This takes time and a lot of self-reflection. It takes a great deal of self-talk to build yourself up, rather than allow self-doubt to prevail. Here are some common beliefs that will perpetuate covert aggression:

• Here it is again. This keeps happening to me.

• It’s got to be me. I’m the common denominator.

• I can’t take this anymore. I need to get out of here.

• I’m so frustrated I could die. And some emotional states that will keep you stuck in a negative feedback loop:

• Staying in confusion.

• Allowing it to wound you.

• Residing in perpetual worry.

• Feeling inferior.

• Engaging in and listening to gossip or negative talk.

This last one was a tremendous step for me in understanding that I needed to walk off once I said something if there was no positive feedback or active listening going on. This is a powerful tool. Utilizing conscious communication and nonverbal gestures, such as standing strong to balance out the drama, helped me greatly on my own journey. I’ve learned how to stand up straight and communicate by looking people in the eye. Like everything in life, it’s a path of discovery with learning along the way. Here’s to better understanding!

Lisa Hawkins is a coach with 26 years of experience in personal growth and development, psychology and human behavior with an emphasis on relationships, which includes the most important one, with yourself. She helps those who want to have a more fulfilling relationship and life. When one works on one aspect of life that is holding them back, it trickles down to other areas of life. Love is the one thing we all crave at a deep level: We crave our true nature, our self-love, and to express that love to others. Lisa works with men and women to awaken the conscious part of themselves that knows how to love deeply. Find our more at http://www.ConsciouslyAwakeCounseling.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ConsciouslyAwakeCoun/

By Lisa Cedrone

There are as many different ways to experience and define the world around us—our reality—as there are people on planet Earth. That’s a lot of viewpoints!

When we stop judging others and relying upon external sources to provide all the answers, we have the opportunity to look within to seek personal truth. Here we can find our own unique spiritual script, the one we helped write for ourselves at a higher level to provide the necessary life experiences and vantage point to allow our consciousness to evolve.

In the field of journalism, we call this the angle of the story. As a writer, one needs to go out and collect information on a subject and then funnel it into a story from a purposeful and engaging perspective. During the learning curve to become a good journalist, many suffer from “kitchen sink syndrome.” They gather a large mountain of information and then feel that every tidbit should be included in the story—“everything but the kitchen sink.” What results is a body of work that rambles in so many directions that it never reaches a destination—a logical conclusion. The skilled writer, on the other hand, knows that less is more—when that less is a wealth of wisdom carefully mined from that mountain of facts, statistics and information. And a lot of blood,

sweat and tears goes into the process behind the scenes.

Successfully crafting our own spiritual journey is much like learning the ropes to become a seasoned journalist. As a seeker of enlightenment—one undertaking a pilgrimage to understand the true nature of reality and how we co-create within it to accomplish our mission in life—we often become overwhelmed with options, opinions, rituals and instructions.

It’s a vast universe of information to explore—one growing exponentially thanks to the global reach of the Internet— and engaging in the research process also puts us at risk of developing “kitchen sink syndrome.” Perhaps we keep adding spiritual books to our library until it becomes so overwhelming that we cannot decide which ONE contains the instructions, or path, we should follow. There is always another source out there to evaluate, so we become perpetual seekers paralyzed from gathering data until our brain is filled to capacity with—you guessed it—everything but the kitchen sink. At this point, we can become confused and disconnected from the higher power guiding us (our soul, Higher Self, superconscious, God, guides, or whatever name we use). We may start to think that the answer is out there, instead of within our heart center.

So how do we find our true path— the one that will culminate in the perspectives necessary to expand our consciousness?

Albert Einstein reveals the answer for us: “ The only source of knowledge is experience.”

We can read and learn about spiritual paths, but until we actually walk one with integrity we will not step from darkness into the light of Spirit.

Don’t get me wrong: I am a strong advocate of comparative studies; it’s how I found my own personal truth. I needed to objectively evaluate many traditions to gain a personal understanding of how our universe operates and our purpose within it—but this was only my primer.

To truly achieve positive, lifechanging results, I had to wholeheartedly engage in applying these fundamental spiritual teachings in a way that agreed with my deep heartfelt beliefs and leave behind the voices of others echoing through my mind.

What happened when I did this?

I was able to evolve from disinterested agnostic to an appreciator of the human Spirit and the Divine. I stopped focusing on what I thought was wrong with every spiritual path and started finding the common threads that remained when I looked beyond cultural idiosyncrasies and dogma. No doubt, I needed this exercise to find a personal faith that would allow me to walk a path of direct spiritual experience. The important point here is to stand in your own integrity and find your own truth within. Nobody else can do it for you.

Lisa Cedrone currently serves as the editor of Transformation Coaching Magazine and was the executive director of the C. G. Jung Society of Sarasota from 2016 until 2022. She is a mentor and teacher with a passion for sharing the experience, strength and hope from her own life-changing near-death experience and recovery journey. Lisa also spent 15 years as an editor and editor-in-chief for two of the largest business-to-business publishers in the United States. Her universal worldview changed following a profound near-death experience in 2002, during which she was given the opportunity to come back to our world and finish her learning journey in this life. For more information, email Lisa at Lisa@DragonFlyNation.com or visit https://www.DragonFlyNation.com

When we look within, we can find our true path— the one that will lead us to the perspectives necessary to expand our consciousness.

The beauty of this life experience is that we bring our own unique gifts and perspective to it.

By Mary Boutieller

The capacity to learn is both an individual journey and accessible to everyone. From birth, we begin to take in information, survey our surroundings, and formulate ideas and truths. We learn from our parents, friends, school and experience. It’s a lifelong journey and one that never ends.

Think about that for a moment... to know that there is always more to learn, if we choose to do so. It’s an idea that is both fascinating and terrifying, if I’m being honest.

Fascinating because the world is our oyster! There is so much to explore. I could learn to speak a new language or play an instrument; I could dive into any topic and spend years learning more about it. The opportunities are endless.

Terrifying, because sometimes I think I won’t measure up. I know many

people who make it look easy (even when it isn’t). They seem brave and smart and capable. For me, I tend to start and stop a lot when learning something new. I might tell myself that it’s too hard or I’m just not smart enough. It seems easier to stay in our wheelhouse than to venture out into unknown territory.

Yet I know that’s the ego talking. After all, I don’t have to become a concert pianist to pluck on the keyboard. I don’t have to be a great novelist to write a meaningful article.

I just have to be curious. I have to be vulnerable and open to the possibilities. I have to be willing to make mistakes, and be okay with coloring outside the lines of my neat and tidy life.

Healing, too, is both an individual journey and accessible to everyone. When we give ourselves the love we deserve, we find openings that we didn’t know were there. When we become curious, we find patterns that no longer serve

us. When we slow down, we find that we have always been whole.

The beauty of this life experience is that we bring our own unique gifts and perspective to it, and can then share that with others. It doesn’t have to be perfected to be impactful. Who we are evolves each and every day. To know that we are continuously evolving fills me with awe. Perhaps we could learn and heal and play more like children—a little more carefree and a little less worried about what others might think?

The other day I offered up to a musician friend that maybe one day I’d get up and sing with him. That terrified me a little...doing something like that in front of strangers...and it was thrilling at the same time. I’ll do it one day and, even if I sing off-key, my friend will smile and I will find myself coloring outside the lines.

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller

Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com

By Jo Mooy

The sound of Westminster Chimes is hard-coded into my cellular memories. They trigger ornate family memories that go back to early childhood. Playtime came to a halt when my grandfather came to the formal living room to perform a weekly ceremony that, to us children, was as rich in detail as a British coronation. I can still see him, properly dressed up in island business attire of well-ironed shorts and shirt, a tie, and khaki colored knee socks with tassels on top.

His shiny brown shoes echoed on the polished hardwood as he approached the tall cherry-hued and aptly named Grandfather Clock that had a place of honor against one wall. He unlocked the glass front of the clock and from some mysterious place, pulled out a long metal old-fashioned key. He placed the key into each of the three holes in the clock face. Then he placed his ear against the clock as he wound the springs in each hole, stopping at the right spot. When finished, the key was tucked away, the glass cover locked and, looking at his brood of grandchildren, he said: “Don’t touch it!” Nobody was ever dumb enough to touch his clock.

He left a legacy with that clock because all his children and many of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren ended up owning their own Grandfather Clocks that chimed the same Westminster Chimes first heard

in the late 1700s. Four distinct chimes are toned on the quarter, half, threequarter and hour times. One could build a lifetime schedule around the Westminster Chimes, and the sound would always bring you back home. My mother didn’t choose to own a big tall one, but rather a smaller camel-back mantle clock. It too governed our lives, always sounding and calling out the hours in the background. Sometimes you heard it, other times hours would pass as though it had no sound. But, it was always there in the background, tolling the time. Perhaps having these clocks was an acquired family tradition. Once, a guest came to stay for the weekend. In the middle of the first night he got up, tried to stop the clock, and ended up breaking the delicate mechanism. After the hysteria of such a violation of protocol and hospitality, he was never invited back.

My Grandfather Clock is also a camel-back mantle clock made from beautiful Colombian mahogany. When I got it 50 years ago, I chose a battery operated model for convenience, deciding the weekly winding ritual belonged in the nostalgic memories of my grandfather. What I didn’t realize, though, was that the “modern mechanism” for keeping time was cheap plastic that would have to be replaced every five years or so. Recently, the clock began to chime the wrong hour. At 11 it chimed 4 o’clock, at 3 it chimed 7. I

debated if it was worth the aggravation to replace the mechanism rather than buying a new clock until I saw the price of new ones. What I thought was a relic of another time was not true. It seems Grandfather Clocks are a “thing” and still very much in demand. I had to fix it.

Waiting for the parts to arrive from some offshore location, the house became strangely silent. What had been a constant toning in the background, noticed or not, was mute. The energy of the clock had gone. I’ve never lived in a house without Westminster Chimes, and not having the sound in the house was like being cut loose from a tether. What were these chimes that were so rooted in my psyche? What spell did they have on me?

The Westminster Chimes are more than just a sound in a clock. They are my family. They are comfort food like mac ’n cheese. They are Big Ben tolling the news when the Queen died. They track the time in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. They are countless remembrances in my mother’s house. They bring a smile when they chime in a British film. They are the ice cream truck cruising summertime streets. They are my Grandfather’s footsteps sealing a ritual into his lineage. They are a sure continuation of the legacy in the clock at my daughter’s home. They are the past and they are the future. Their four-part sound is my ever-present anchor.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com

Photo by Kelvin Han on Unsplash

By Owen Waters

Long ago, the first time I read the ancient Tao Te Ching (pronounced “Dow Day Jing”), I ran into so many apparent contradictions that I felt like I was going cross-eyed with confusion!

I have not been alone in that type of feeling. To most Western minds, the nature of the Tao is a huge mystery that makes little or no obvious sense. I ran into statements that suggested that the Tao was manifest as everything in the world and, yet, the Tao was nothing and nowhere. Well, which is it, I thought, everywhere or nowhere?

The problem lies with the limitations placed on Western translators, as they are part of a cultural tradition which rarely teaches that there is an original state of unchanging, perfect beingness that lies behind even the Creator.

In the 6th Century BC, the sage Lao Tse (“Lay-OTE-say”) is said to have written the Tao Te Ching, which became fundamental to philosophical Taoism. The word Tao is usually interpreted as meaning The Way, although it can also mean The Principle or The Doctrine. However, none of these interpretations address its true nature.

Lao Tse was reluctant to even name the Tao, as giving it a name weakened its basic concept of silent unchangeability, so he actually preferred to refer to it as “the nameless.”

There are over 100 translations of the Tao Te Ching in English. One apt interpretation of the meaning of the title is, “The book of the way of Divine inner power.”

Translators to English find themselves forced beyond literal translation and into interpretation because characters written in the original Chinese often have

multiple meanings and need to be distinguished in context with one other. Because of this, the original intent of the message may not even be immediately apparent. For example, they face literal translations of sentences like this: “Name named not eternal/unchanging name.”

It takes an understanding of the concept first before the meaning becomes clear. This passage points to the concept that the Tao is “the nameless” that encompasses the universe, while the universe itself is filled with what Lao Tse often refers to as “the ten thousand things” or the manifestations of the Tao. We give names to objects in the material world and that which is beyond all things is referred to as “the nameless.”

The Tao, by definition, existed before Heaven and Earth. It is said to be still, formless, standing alone and undergoing no change. It is both larger than the largest thing and it is within the smallest object.

The part that really trips Western translators up is the idea that the Tao is simultaneously perfectly still and yet constantly moving. Ideas like this are confusing enough to stop a logical mind, short-circuit some brain cells, and make smoke start to curl slowly up out of a person’s ears!

In Western culture, we generally lack an appreciation of the original nature of God as unchanging beingness. In our action-oriented culture, we think of the Creator as the One God. Typically, unless you studied Eastern philosophies or some branches of metaphysics, then you were never made aware of the state of beingness that is behind even the One Creator. The Tao is the unchanging, perfect consciousness which is behind

all things. The Tao is pure, tranquil beingness, and it formed the Creator as the aspect of itself that would take action and experience change.

Taoism is not alone in studying the original, unchanging beingness behind all things. The same concept appears in Hinduism as the still, silent Brahman, or Godhead, behind the creative Trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva.

Chapter 42 of the Tao Te Ching gives the Taoist version: The Tao produced the One. The One produced the Two. The Two produced the Three. The Three produced all things. This means that the unchanging beingness produced the One Creator. This aspect then saw that it was necessary (using Genesis terminology) to divide the “waters” of its consciousness into two aspects. These different and complementary aspects were the principles of thought and feeling. A third aspect was still needed, which was the principle of motion, which allowed the command, “Let there be light!” to create the original template of the universe. The three aspects of the triune nature of the Creator then worked in harmony to create the universe and all material within it.

Students of modern metaphysics are familiar with the concept of a beingness that is behind all things. It has been referred to as the Absolute, the Isness, the “I Am” Presence, and “the All That Is which is behind all things.” My own choice of words is Infinite Being. All of these terms refer to the same perfect, unchanging beingness that is behind everything. The universe exists within the field of silent consciousness of Infinite Being, so its essence is within everything in the world. That silent Isness is the

It is only through developing an inner connection that we will discover that which is behind all things.

ground state of consciousness behind all life. Because of its silent, unmoving nature it could be referred to as being “nothing and nowhere,” at least to our physical sense of awareness.

The Creator and its creation exist within Infinite Being. Therefore, Infinite

NFINITE BEING

with Owen K. Waters

Being is within all things. The unchanging is within everything in the changing world. Yet, our physical senses will never detect this underlying, unchanging oneness. It is only through developing an inner connection that we will discover that which is behind all things.

The Tao is manifest as everything and yet the Tao, in the world of material senses, appears to be nothing and nowhere. So, the message of the Tao Te Ching is to develop an inner connection with that which is real and then the manifest world—this world which is unreal in comparison—begins to make sense.

Editor’s Note: Owen Waters has released the new book Soul Inspiration: Unleash the Power of Your Higher Consciousness to Dissolve Problems and Create a Better Life

People often think that life brings challenges that make them victims of circumstance, that they have no power to change the important things in life. Nothing could be further from the truth! They have simply underestimated the infinite power of their divine potential. This book guides you into the magical realms of your higher consciousness where everyday miracles are created!

Unleash your true potential: Dissolve difficulties, create a better life, and firmly connect with the deep sense of inner joy which is your birthright. Order your personal copy of Soul Inspiration in easy-to-view, e-book form at: https://www.infinitebeing.com/ ebooks/soulinspiration.htm

Owen Waters is author of the Indie award-winning book, Spirituality Made Simple and a cofounder of the Spiritual Dynamics Academy and InfiniteBeing.com, where a where a free spiritual growth newsletter awaits you at https://www.InfiniteBeing.com. He is an international spiritual teacher who has helped hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers to understand better the nature of their spiritual potential. Owen’s life has been focused upon gaining spiritual insights through extensive research and the development of his inner vision. He has written a spiritual metaphysics newsletter since 2004 which empowers people to discover their own new vistas of inspiration, love and creativity. Spiritual seekers enjoy his writings for their clarity and deep insights. Contact Owen via email News@InfiniteBeing.com

Photo by Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash