St Louis Sinner June 2011

June - 2011

The Randy Dandy Guide To Unemployment St Louis’

Al Swacker & The Unlucky Bastards Remember Dirty Ernie Seattle’s

Insomniac Studios Presents

STEAMPUNK

Big Wheel Stunt Show

UNMASKED

EATIN' THE BIG D

To survive this terd race called life with some level of sanity, we all must learn to not only deal with the big ‘Ds” of life, but master the art of swallowing them without choking. And for an Indy publisher, you either develop porn star abilities or choke a miserable death. Despair, Debt, Downturn, Disease, and even Death haunt

us all, if we live long enough to suffer each. But for the Indy publisher, a far greater demon than Death hides in the shadows of every puke-stained alley, Drama.

Before I began this insanity, I survived the Despair of several foul marriages, and even the economic Downturns of trickledown economics through the Reagan era. And since I began this publication in 2002, I have weathered not only the tragedies of 9/11, but an enormous weight of Debt and a bout with a Disease I once thought was cancer. I even survived my father’s Death, a period that forced me away from The Sinner the week of our Deadline (another big ‘D’ Indy publishers must swallow), leaving the wife at home in Seattle in charge of production and Delivery (Yeah, another “D”). These have all been huge ‘Ds’ to swallow, but none of these have the girth of Drama. Any doctor of medicine will prescribe hard drugs, shit like morphine/opium, for pain and Depression (Yeah, another big ‘D’), but they’ll tell you to see a Shrink for dealing with Drama..

Death, Debt, Despair, and Depression all gag us at least once in our lifetime, and that’s a tough choke to smile from, but the Indy publisher not only begs for a few more hard licks, he pays good money for Deadlines, Delivery and Drama. “May I have three more inches, Master?”

Don’t ask me why some of us torture ourselves so?

And trying to explain the pains of Jr. High Drama in an adult world is a task only worthy of the great writers, Shakespeare, Kerouac, HST – and a young Stephen King for the true shock value.

And that’s why doctors don’t prescribe drugs for Drama, most of us can’t explain

it. And the truth is, only Indy publishers and promoters know the pain of miniscule mistakes and over-worked human error. It’s always a name was spelled wrong or not credited correctly, or that a 2nd stage wasn’t acceptable, or that we didn’t provide enough coverage from an event.

The list is fucking endless. And because I decided to use the ‘F’ word, I’ll deal with drama from that.

Like I said, the list is F’ing endless.

But Indy publishing has its rewards, like after-parties with aliens. I didn’t stutter and I’m not high on acid, either.

Aliens. Several years ago in Seattle I found one of these poor bastards standing on our balcony. It was a dark night, pitch black, and if not for X-Man, GOAD-X’s ability to see in the dark, I would have never discovered our peeping tom. Unlike the typical stories of aliens, there were no abductions or anal probes or lights in the sky. I didn’t have a Sammy Hagar brain fuse, either.

Nope, not even close. Instead I opened the door and turned on the light to find this poor bastard standing on the balcony, naked, and soaking wet. At first I was frightened, thinking he was part of an invasion and was there to eat our brains. Then I realized I had the alien confused with Zombies – now that might have been part of an acid flashback.

The problem I faced after settling my nerves enough to approach our strange looking guest was our lack of communication. This alien didn’t speak English or Spanish, and didn’t have the advanced power of telepathy. But I didn’t need a translator to figure out he was cold, probably hungry, and certainly thirsty. Lucky for him we had hotdogs and Wild Turkey. We had only one choice, to clothe our new friend, feed him, and get him drunk. Now we can’t get rid of the fucker. To worsen matters, he became an alcoholic, too. And let me tell you, there’s nothing an alcoholic Alien loves more than after parties. So, every once in a while we have to throw one.

With an alien in the house, and guests on the way, there are a few necessities for a successful after-party. One, you obviously need plenty of booze; two, plenty of kick-ass CDs; three, a couple of wheel chairs for racing; and 4, at least one roll of toilet paper. The last thing you want is a drunk alien filling the toilet up and not having any toilet paper to wipe his ass. Aliens can get crazy, and throw shit all over the walls and then eat a guest or two. Well, what do you expect when you have an after-party with an alien?

And that is just another tale of Indy publishing in two cities....

For Advertising Inquiries for Seattle or St Louis, Contact Chuck Foster at 206-851-6403 or chuck@theseattlesinner.com

ALIENS & AFTER-PARTIES

Model: Andrea Taylor

WRITERS, RANTERS, OPINIONISTS & OTHER ALL-OUT FREAKS: Mark Taylor-Canfield Paul Blow Lucifer Saab Lofton Malice Henry Nicolle Stu Kimberly Peters

Emily Eufinger Jason Sibert Guitar Doug Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid Kendra Holliday Rob Butler Kristen Ivy

Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels Cover Art: Insomniac Studios

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. Their opinions, rants and ideas do not necessarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself. The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission.

FOR ADVERTISING OR SUBMISSION INFORMATION, CONTACT US AT CHUCK@THESEATTLESINNER.COM. SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS THE 25TH OF EVERY MONTH.

Apocalypse Not Yet

M

by Kristen Ivy

ay 21st has come and gone. Judging by the continued presence of the religious right, it looks like the rapture didn’t happen. So much for the end of the world.

I would have appreciated a free day of mass looting – in this economy, wouldn’t we all? – and at least a slight breakdown in law and order. But are any sane people really surprised? Of course the world didn’t end. It didn’t end in 2000, since the combined forces of the supposed rapture and Y2K had as much effect as a sugar pill.

The end of the world – by earthquake, antichrist, zombies, or zombie Jesus – did NOT occur in 1994, in 1988, or any of the predicted dates. Even before Christianity, myths foretold world destruction and the judgment of the gods. Belief in the apocalypse is as old as religion itself.

Too bad its not going to happen. Many problems that privileged American think of as apocalyptic are commonplace in the developing world. It’s our own conceit to think of a loss of law, order, food, and communication are “the end of the world.” The conceit of religion is that every generation thinks that they will be the special ones called up to heaven.

If there is a Jesus (hypothetically) and he’s coming for humanity on a chariot of judgment and brimstone, there’s nothing we can do about it. If our supposed god-given intellect has led us away from religion, what other compass can we follow? If the world is going to end, it’s going to end.

The comfort of the impending apocalypse lies in its implications for daily life. If we’re going to be with Jesus any minute now, why bother with earthly life? There’s no point worrying about Darfur or even the homeless kid on the corner. Destroy the environment! Spend all your money! There is no future to worry about, because there is no dying rainforest, no debt, no job crisis, no rising sea level in heaven.

Its the same mentality you see displayed in far-flung conspiracy theories. Maybe we’re all living in the Matrix.

Maybe the world governments are run by a shadowy Illuminati. Maybe a Santanist/Zionist/Nazi conspiracy rules the world. Maybe a race of shapeshifting lizards controls us all. There’s no way to tell and nothing we can do about it.

The conspiracy-pushers on downtown corners sell a comforting lie that soothes like a religion. If malevolent reptilian beings control society, then we are all doomed. The future of humanity and our planet is out of our hands.

Everyone from the President to the Queen of England is supposedly an alien reptilian being, united in a conspiracy to control all humankind.

This is a few steps too far down the conspiracy road.

If these things are true, against all human logic, then we can’t know them or have any affect on them. The basis of human ethics lies in doing what we can for each other and for ourselves, creating a better world instead of destroying it.

For all intents and purposes, let’s assume that the governments are populated with normal, power-hungry human beings. There won’t be a rapture, or an antichrist. The lizards won’t enslave us, and the zombies aren’t going to take over any time soon. Each generation makes small choices that affect the world for years to come.

A society that acts like a terminal patient will overspend and destroy, unconcerned with the future. The Reptilian Takeover is as harmful a lie as the Rapture, encouraging us to leave a legacy without resources or sustainable systems.

We are responsible for the affect we have on future generations, on each others’ futures, and on our world.

Making false assumptions of doom and helplessness only hurt us. Our future stretches out indefinitely, without an apocalyptic safety net to absolve us of responsibility. And if I’m wrong, I’ll see you all at the mass looting.

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Is The Truth Out There? Prophetic Claims & Goverment Sanctioned Assassination

written by Mark Taylor-Canfield

T

he month of May was a very interesting time in the laud President Obama as a “Bush-style” US. The month began with Christian fundamental- military leader with strong national secuists proclaiming the end of the world. Meanwhile, the rity credentials. The president’s approval US government was claiming they had assassinated ratings went from extremely miserable their arch rival, the infamous Al Queda leader Osama to 60% overnight. “An amazing political comeback!” shouted one radio talk-show Bin Laden.

What to many outside observers appeared to be host. “He’s unbeatable in 2012!” exnothing more than an unlikely “end times” scenario claimed another media pundit. For awhile, for a bad TV miniseries actually turned out to be the extreme conservatives conveniently content of serious newscasts. Between the outrageous forgot about the times they had publicly claims of an 89 year old preacher and the serious mis- called him a socialist and claimed that handling of the Bin Laden story, the news was full of he faked his birth certificate. The insane outlandish tales of false bravado, leading to a seriously tirades in which they had accused him of irrational fervor about events that never actually hap- being a pro-terrorist were also forgotten.

Suddenly he was magically transformed pened.

America was safe again according to the US gov- into Ronald Reagan’s favorite son – at ernment, while extremist Christians were calling for least for a few days.

Decoding these kinds of news stowidespread panic. The US news media ate up these stories like hungry dogs, licking their chops at the idea ries is the obligation of any responsible, of constant news coverage and increased ratings. conscious person. It definitely does not “Tune in tomorrow to find out how the world ends,” was require the proverbial degree in rocket science to see beyond the headlines and the common refrain.

Looking like complete fools, news reporters con- outside of the matrix. These stories are tinued to spout this nonsense until they were so full used by those in authority to confuse, of themselves and so distracted by laughter at the divide and generally annoy the people of ‘in-jokes” that they nearly fell out of their seats while the nation so that they fall into a continual appearing on national broadcasts. Meanwhile, reports state of passive resignation.

Their goal is an apathetic sense of kept appearing about a secret raid on a hidden compound across the street from the Pakistani military despair on the part of the electorate so we academy where Bin Laden had supposedly been hid- won’t vote. In this way the electoral system can be controlled by the small minoring out, watching videos of himself.

Taking full advantage of the situation, news pro- ity who do take advantage of the scandalously lax elecgrams began 24 hour coverage of these events, in- tion regulations to abuse and control the elections and terviewing a countless array of military and security thereby the government. It helps a lot, of course, if you analysts. Of course many interesting questions have have millions of dollars to spend on fraudulent, unfair been raised about these news reports and about of- election advertising meant to fool the few citizens who ficial statements made by the Obama administration still choose to exercise their right to vote. In extreme concerning the aforementioned military operation. But cases, the ballot counting software can be hacked and most news reporters just kept telling the government’s the vote count manipulated.

The result is that the general populace, trained to story over and over again, including many changes and constant rewording, adding retractions and correcting disbelieve in their own personal power, turn away from any political debate and avoid election politics, prefer“mistakes”.

Any voices questioning the scenario were drowned ring to hide away in the safety and comfort of their own out by an endless stream of official banter. The talking little abodes somewhere inside the monolithic rigged heads went crazy on this story. Suddenly every two-bit system which does not benefit them at all.

To pacify this population, the political dream reporter and author became an expert on the complex subject of counter-terrorism.

Dissenting voices in the media were quickly quashed, including journalists who questioned the official story or academic experts who worried about the implications under domestic and international law of an officially sanctioned assassination conducted without due process. Even a few conservative civil libertarians who hated Bin Laden claimed the assassination violated the rule of law.

But most of these people’s patriotic voices were silenced immediately by the US media using their usual fascist–style tricks, mostly the irrational use of slanderous US PsyOp leaflet used in Afghanistan claims, outright libel and malicious weavers and advertising propaganda agencies create campaigns of character assassination.

Particularly effective against the dissenters is the artificial needs based upon mass consumption and scandalous use by right-wing media pundits of verbal primitive desire. Most of the national and local newsintimidation and false accusations. These tactics in- casts, (including PBS and NPR) are funded by adverclude describing civil rights advocates as “pro-terrorist” tising from multinational corporations who have their and “anti-American”. In other words, they claim that if own private agendas concerning maximized profit and you are against secret assassinations, you must be control of their particular share of the media market.

In any case, the stories are either true or false. a supporter of Osama Bin Laden – a completely ridiculous argument! Ethically speaking, the truth is, if a One can’t have it both ways. Either Bin Laden was person is going to take a stand against terrorism, they killed or he wasn’t. May 21st was either the end of the must also oppose assassination for obvious reasons. world or it was not. This is called “reality-based thinkIt would be a completely inconsistent and totally hypo- ing”. As readers or listeners or observers of media, we critical position to support one form of violence while all have to decode these stories with the information we have obtained. Corporate news is not necessarily a opposing the other.

Right-wingers in the US immediately began to “reality-based” product.

The many unanswered questions around Bin Laden should give us pause to reconsider whether the appointed media and government speakers are actually false representatives hired for political or commercial purposes. Most of them are certainly there to present their own versions of reality, that’s for sure. Public relations firms charge millions of dollars for their valuable services designed to manipulate the media and control public opinion. The government does the same. They usually proffer the notion that corporations are always good for the national economy, and in this latest case, they want to convince you that the illegal covert assassination of a terrorist suspect is actually a good moral foreign policy.

The facts that leave us questioning official policy include information such as: 1) Some of Bin Laden’s colleagues were originally supported by the CIA in Afghanistan. The US was helping the Taliban insurgency conduct war against occupation troops from the Soviet Union who had invaded the country.

This policy of US support for extremists and dictators has sometimes led to serious problems. Our criminal friends often later become our enemies. Sometimes the US sells arms to nations who then use these same weapons against our own troops during a later conflict.

2) There have been many supposedly “credible” reports since the events of 911 claiming that Bin Laden had already died, possibly from natural causes, or as a result of an internal power struggle within the Al Queda group.

3) Before the assassination, the US government included Osama Bin Laden on its list of “Most Wanted” international criminals. He was included among the top ten most dangerous criminals. But contrary to popular belief, according to this list, Bin Laden was not wanted for any crimes directly connected to the 911 attacks on New York City.

4) The US government’s story explaining why the body was not available for examination changed several times throughout the media news cycle. The final scenario presented to the media explained that the body

had been cast into the sea. According to most journalists and scholars, Islamic law calls for burial at sea only if the person has actually passed away at sea. So the government’s story does not really sound logical on that point.

No one will ever really know the answers to some of these questions about Bin Laden or about many other news stories. Amazing secrets are well hidden by the power folks behind the news generation media hype cycle machine. For instance, how did a largely unknown octogenarian religious leader manage to convince so many people that he possessed the only true vision of reality? Was it simply his well-financed advertising campaign, complete with huge tour buses and international media appearances? It’s especially astounding if you take into consideration the fact that this same man pulled the exact same stunt way back in 1994! How could folks be fooled so easily a second time?

I suggest that the US news media actually helped the religious fanatics to promote this entire ploy from the beginning. At least they went along with it knowingly. They could have been talking about so many other vitally important world issues, but instead they chose to focus on an 89 year old preacher no one had ever heard of before the media started to promote his ideas.

All I can say is this - May 2011 was a month when I spent a lot of time decoding a vast array of ridiculous messages designed strictly for the purpose of creating mass confusion. I’m sure these are just the latest examples of how the US corporate media manages to manipulate our personal focus and our mental attention. If it’s not crass tabloid stories about scandalous behavior by celebrities, it’s predictions of destruction and mayhem, or when needed, a spectacular action film style showdown with the ultimate “bad guy” – Osama Bin Laden.

The corporate media would love to keep us all nervous and on our toes – feeling ill at ease. Their corporate owners benefit by helping us feel a little bit unbalanced and tense about the future. If we were not really worried about the future, we wouldn’t keep tuning into their news programs to find out if the world is going to end tomorrow…

So, what is the real truth?

My advice is this: Do not obey the command of the Great Wizard in the Land of Oz when he declares: “Pay no attention to the man(men) behind the curtain!”

StoptheDrugWar.org Chicago Housing Authority Wants to Drug Test Residents

By Phillip Smith The Chicago Housing Authority wants to require all current and future adult residents – including senior citizens– to pass a drug test. A positive drug test would result in an eviction notice for the resident.

The proposal is one of several changes to the CHA’s Admission and Continued Occupancy Policy submitted by CEO Lewis Jordan. Jordan and other agency officials argue they need more tools to fight crime and drugs in the housing projects.

The American Civil Liberties Union accused the CHA of subjecting the poor to a double standard, while resident leaders said the proposal was humiliating.

“The ACLU opposes drug testing in the absence of suspicion as a condition of residency in public housing,” senior lawyer Adam Schwartz told the Chicago Sun-Times. “From our perspective, drug testing without suspicion is humiliating. It’s stigmatizing. There’s a double standard here,” he said. “All across our city and our country, when most of us who are in whatever income bracket rent housing, we don’t have to take a drug test. This is an emerging one standard for poor people and another standard for everyone else.”

“Singling us out for this type of humiliation is a slap in the face of what this whole ‘Plan for Transformation’ supposedly is about,” Myra King, chair of the central advisory council of tenant leaders for all CHA housing in the city, told the Sun-Times. “CHA says they’re doing this plan to make us privy to the same standards as any other citizen in any other community. If that’s true, why are we the only citizens to be drug tested?”

Lewis’s “Plan for Transformation” also includes eliminating the “innocent tenant defense,” which allows residents whose relatives or guests committed a drug offense or crime of violence to avoid eviction if they can show they were unaware of the activity. In a 2002 case, the US Supreme Court ruled that housing authorities could evict innocent tenants, but they are not required to. Former CHA head Terry Peterson had reached an agreement with tenants that allowed the continued use of the defense if it could be proved in court.

Spokeswoman Kellie O’Connell-Miller defended the proposals, pointing out that several CHA mixed-income properties currently require drug testing. “These are policies to help strengthen and improve the safety of our public housing communities,” O’Connell-Miller said. “We’re constantly hearing from law-abiding residents that they want us to hold the non-law abiding residents more accountable. We’re trying to tighten up our lease with some of these issues. Drug dealers won’t come where there are no buyers. If you remove the folks who are interested in drugs, hopefully it will remove some of the problems,” she said.

Making the policy system wide would apply it to some 16,000 families living in family and senior public housing.

The CHA has not estimated the cost of the proposal, O’Connell-Miller said.

The proposals are open to public comment through June 16, with a public hearing set for Thursday. If the proposal is adopted, it must then be approved by the CHA Board and then the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development.

And then the CHA can spend good money fighting (and most likely losing), the inevitable legal challenges. The precedent here is the state of Michigan’s 1990s law mandating the suspicionless drug testing of welfare recipients.

It was rejected by the federal courts in 2003 for violating Fourth Amendment proscriptions against unreasonable search and seizure.

Model: Kitty Mansfield

Corrupt Cop Stories Narcs get rowdy at a narc convention and a pair of cops who couldn’t keep their paws off the pills. Let’s get to it:

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Pioneer Square The Central 207 1st Ave S J&M 201 1st Ave S Greenwood The Baranof 8549 Greenwood Ave N

College Inn Pub 4006 University Wy NE Fremont Piece of Mind 315 N 36th St The Dubliner 3535 Fremont Ave

Georgetown Stellar Pizza 5513 Airport Wy S

Lake City Piece of Mind 12516 Lake City Way Hollywood Erotic 12706 Lake City Way

University District Piece of Mind 4339 University Wy NE Monkey Pub 5305 Roosevelt Wy NE

Capitol Hill Linda’s 707 E Pine St

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In Hyannis, Massachusetts, a group of men attending the New England Narcotics Officers Association is accused by a Cape Cod DJ of twice attacking him at a bar after he tried to non-violently intervene on behalf of a woman being harassed by one of them. The narcs were in town for a convention. Duane Alves, better known as DJ Alvzie filed a report with Barnstable Police after the incident in which he said one of the men dumped a drink on his head, then punched him. The man’s comrades joined in the beating. Alves also said that the men then blocked the exits from the bar and attacked him again when he tried to leave. The second attack resulted in serious injuries, including broken bones around his right eye and a damaged nasal cavity. Alves managed to grab a cell phone one of his attackers dropped, and Barnstable Police confirmed it belonged to someone who attended the narc-fest, but would not identify the owner. Barnstable Police continue to investigate.

In Napoleonville, Louisiana, a former Assumption Parish sheriff’s deputy pleaded guilty May 24 to a whopping 438 malfeasance and drug charges for using seized drugs to feed his own habits. Louis Lambert, 48, had been the evidence room technician for seven years when deputies discovered missing drug case evidence in April 2010. Lambert was arrested in June 2010 and fired and indicted in October. He copped to 336 counts of malfeasance for evidence tampering, 35 counts of pot possession, 24 counts of cocaine possession, 11 counts of prescription drug possession, one count of Oxycodone possession, one count of steroid possession, once count of Alprazolam possession,10 counts of drug paraphernalia possession, 14 counts of possessing a firearm while in possession of illegal drugs, four counts of firearms theft and one count of theft under $300. Charges against about 20 drug suspects had to be dropped because of the missing evidence. He faces up to 1400 years in prison when sentenced July 6.

In Yorkville, Illinois, the Yorkville Police deputy chief was arrested last Friday on charges he stole pain relieving pills from the department’s drug collection program. Deputy Chief Dave Delaney is charged with possession of hydrocodone and theft of government property. Yorkville Police had become suspicious that some of the drugs turned in were missing and contacted the Illinois State Police, who conducted a week-long investigation. They marked some of the hydrocodone pills, then confronted Delaney and found he had several on him. He faces up to three years in prison on each count.

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Redneck Revenge or Superheroes Versus Anti-heroes written by Saab Lofton “How we would be reacting if Iraqi commandos landed at George W. Bush’s compound, assassinated him and dumped his body in the Atlantic? Uncontroversially, his crimes vastly exceed bin Laden’s ...” – Professor Noam Chomsky

We the people were expected to react like Pavlov’s dog and squeal like groupies simply because Osama bin Laden was executed in order to avenge the deaths of 9-11, but I say to thee, NAY! So three thousand people died that day – so the fuck what ..?

“All over the world 24,000 people, mostly children, die from poverty every day. This is the true terrorism, and it is aided and abetted by politicians from rich, privileged and powerful countries who, in the cause of profit and feigning respectability, are salesmen of death. Their victims, and the rest of us, deserve better.”

– John Pilger, the world’s most acclaimed journalist.

24,000 every 24 hours – that’s a thousand people per hour – where’s the anger over THAT? Are we going to execute the motherfuckers responsible for THAT? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

The Bible says to be fruitful and multiply, but that was written back when Earth’s population numbered in the hundreds of thousands instead of BILLIONS, so until Humans can colonize planets a la Zefram Cochrane, y’all should keep your legs closed – no matter how afraid you are of having descendants who resemble Halle Berry.

Besides, the execution of Osama bin Laden is proof that Human life ain’t taken seriously anyway. I mean, if life is truly precious, it should be treated as such, except it’s NOT – at least, not in real life.

In fiction, it’s a different story (no pun intended). Why? When Batman debuted in 1939, the character was depicted killing villains. Then in 1940, a great man named Whitney Ellsworth (1908 - 1980) took over DC Comics and declared that superheroes must use NON-lethal tactics/ weaponry ONLY. Ellsworth’s legacy can still be seen in movies such as Batman Begins...

BRUCE WAYNE: No. I’m no executioner.

THE LEAGUE OF SHADOWS: Your compassion is a weakness your enemies will not share.

BRUCE WAYNE: That’s why it’s so important. It separates us from them... I will go back to Gotham and I will fight men like this, but I will not become an executioner.

So by forbidding the world’s most popular fictional characters from murdering their enemies, Whitney Ellsworth did as much to increase the value of Human life as any doctor, preacher or firefighter. Here, check out this scene from the 2010 animated feature, Under the Red Hood...

Jason Todd: I would’ve done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil death-

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worshiping garbage and sent [The Joker] off to Hell.

Batman: You don’t understand. I don’t think you ever understood.

Jason Todd: What? Your moral code just won’t allow for that?

It’s too hard to cross that line?

Batman: No. God Almighty, no.

It’d be too damned easy. All I’ve ever wanted to do is kill [The Joker]. A day doesn’t go by I don’t think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he’s dealt out to others ... but if I do that; if I allow myself to go down into that place, I’ll never come back.

Unfortunately, America HAS gone “down into that place” – and while Batman’s compassion separates him from his foes, all too many Americans sadly view The Dark Knight as naïve and lenient, hence the popularity of The Punisher from Marvel Comics, an anti-hero who slaughters mobsters.

You caN’T have it both ways, America! Want to win hearts and minds; want to be considered one of the good guys? Then you HAVE to be a superhero, NOT an anti-hero!

What’s worse, those who’re deathly afraid of being indicted for their involvement in Human rights nightmares like Abu Ghraib and Guantánamo Bay are currently spreading LIES about how torture supposedly revealed Osama bin Laden’s whereabouts. Of course, this is 100% pure, uncut BULLSHIT...

“If the CIA’s interrogation was all it took, the U.S. government would have succeeded in locating bin Laden before 2006, which is when the CIA’s custody of so-called ‘high-value detainees’ ended... This timeline doesn’t seem to provide a lot of support for the pro-torture narrative... If so-called ‘enhanced interrogations’ provided the magic silver bullet, then the CIA might have wrapped this up back in 2003, while they were waterboarding the 9-11 mastermind a hundred and eighty-three times.” – Jane Mayer, The New Yorker, 5/2/11 But let’s pretend for a fraction of a millisecond there’s a sub-microscopic smidgen of truth to these fallacious claims. If so, I’ll retort by quoting Popeye of all icons, who once wisely stated, “Wrong is wrong even if it helps you.”

That’s certainly worth repeating: “Wrong is wrong even if it helps you.”

While right-wing skkkum are influenced by that racist John Wayne, I on the other hand am influenced by the very BEST that pop culture has to offer. If those Navy SEALs who executed Osama bin Laden were as well trained as they’re reported to be, then this ALLEGED terrorist could’ve just as soon been CAPTURED ALIVE and made to stand trial – what better way to discover whether 9-11 was an inside job ..?

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ESSAY

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High Anxiety, Low Relief

by Henry Nicolle

W

e have become accustomed to people from “government” inserting themselves into every activity and cavity of our personal lives, that we no longer feel their warm breath on our neck. We do not resist their most intimate invasions.

Our abuse has become so common and prevalent that we are barely aware of their hands groping around in our underwear or the sting as they draw our life from our veins as surely and methodically as they extract the product of our life’s labors in fees and taxes.

It is our rape. If we resist or complain, they tell us that it is our own desire and demand to be gangraped. If we point out the difference between rape and consensual relations, we are informed that that is only our misguided opinion We say nothing, we do nothing, we take no offense,

St

Lo

, uis

government. If we are not involved, we are governed by those who take the time to become involved. We are all driven by self-interest, even the most altruistic of us. (Were their self-interest not to be interested in the benefit of others, they would not be considered altruistic.)

For most of us, self-interest is played out in satisfying our urges for personal achievement, procreation and pleasure. Those activities do not leave

MO

we make no resistance. We don’t want to make trouble for anyone. We don’t want trouble for ourselves. We suck and fuck and give it all up in “fair exchange” for the beatings and insults and our pimps peck on the cheek while we wait for the next demand upon our personal honor, liberty, security and prosperity.

We have no current, credible claim to personal honor, liberty, security or prosperity. We are proud of our freedom to serve our exploiters. We argue with each other over the attributes of our rapists and plunderers, each of us claiming our own to be preferable to any others. We beg our tyrants for favors and pay for privileges, not remembering that we are asking only for what is inherently our own that has been taken from us by violence, stealth and misdirection.

Ask any of America’s Founders, (were any still alive) “Why must we have a government?” and the response would be an unhesitating “Our government is self-governance, which merely represents our wisdom to cooperate for the preservation of our inherent, individual Rights and our Liberty to pursue our lives as we each choose for ourselves.”

Our Declaration of Independence formalized the new philosophy of Rights and Liberty in American terms by these words, “We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these Rights, government are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.” Our institutions for self-governing are unique in the history of modern civilization.

Successful self-government demands participation by the People, else it is not possible to claim self-

much time or resources for keeping accounts on the others of our People whose ambitions are to achieve the power and wealth necessary to direct the mundane activities of the People.

We have no time to direct those whose time is mostly spent in the construction of the Chutes and Ladders of our playpen. We have no individual freedom or self-determination. Forced choices and managed freedom are the invisible bounds of our lives. Other people’s ambitions and achievements are the fruit of our labor.

We cooperate and rejoice in our servitude and peonage. We do not see or feel our chains, because we have been taught from infancy that our slavery is the Liberty of Civilized Society, for which we must be grateful, not resentful.

There is an option for those of us who love and prefer tumultuous Liberty more than a secure and passive existence in submission to the ambitions of the powerful, aggressive and violent. Our Declaration returns to our attention our option when things go badly.

“That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

Seventy-percent or more of Americans play quietly in their cribs, awaiting their next call to submit to the passions of the powerful, pretentious and insatiable “Guardians of American Democracy and Opportunity”.

Of the remaining thirty percent or so who love Liberty, I see only a handful who practice what they preach and none, who would water the Tree of Liberty.

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DUBSTEP

Every Friday Night 7pm Until The Music Ends

Death & A Promise

Returns Saturday July 2nd

At The Way Out

To all those who say Glam Rock is dead, I beg to differ after catching Die Wasted, WildStreet, and DIEMONDS last month at The Way Out Club. These wild-haired rockers really put on a show, and the crowd was louder than the tornado sirens that opened the night!

Local guys Die Wasted put this show together, bringing some of this continent’s best Glam Rock here to St. Louis. Cheers to them for taking the initiative! Look for their new 7 inch to hit the shelves this summer!

At King Cat Theater

Rane Stone photo by Jeremy wheeler Rock Out ALS is an organization that puts on 6 - 8 events a year in the greater Seattle Area to raise awareness and funds for Lou Gehrig's Disease.

May being ALS Awareness Month, Rock Out ALS put on 2 shows: Rock Out ALS UNPLUGGED with 13 acts including Windowpane, SYFT, Rane Stone, Madison Drive, Jack Rainwater (Hard Money Saints) and Andy Wylie (Church for Sinners) at the King Cat Theater and PUNK Rock Out ALS at El Corazon with The Bloodclots, Spiderface, The Blue Ribbon Boys, The Kamikazies and The Greengoes.

Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) progressively interrupts the brain's ability to communicate with the body's Voluntary Muscle Functions including Talking, Swallowing and Breathing leaving a fully Feeling and Emotional mind until death, which is typically 2 - 5 years on average.

Rock Out ALS would like to thank The Sinner and its Volunteer Staff for their support in putting on these 2 amazing shows and encourages all to attend future shows as well as support those band sthat support them. Also, thank you to Ted Walker at The King Cat Theatre and Dana Simms at El Corazon.

Michael “mad mike” Miller, Founder and Executive Director of Rock Out ALS

Jack Rainwater photo by Jeremy wheeler

Windowpane photo by Jeremy wheeler

MONDAY JUNE 13th The Getdown (Ca); Zombie Cartel (Ca); Go Fight Win!; The Pocket Pistols @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9:30pm, $5, $1 beer all night FRIDAY JUNE 17th An evening of folk punk and bluegrass Rats In The Grass; Joey Piss Drunk; Paul Diamond Blow; Canals Of Venice @ Darrell’s Tavern 18041 Aurora Ave N (shoreline) 21+, 9pm, $5 SUNDAY JUNE 19th Trigger Effect (Montreal); Vast Void; Suburban Vermin; Bad Habit @ The 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW, Ballard 21+, 9pm, $5

SATURDAY JUNE 25th Gabe and Greg’s Birthday Bash 7 Year Old Blind Girl; Poorsport; Mind Candy; Can’t Complain hosted by Sir Mark Bruback @ The 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW, Ballard 21+, 9pm, $5 ---------------------JULY--------------------SATURDAY JULY 2nd Hated Noise + Guests @ Darrell’s Tavern 18041 Aurora Ave N (shoreline) 21+, 9pm, $5 SATURDAY JULY 16th BLACK MIST PRODUCTIONS BIKINI BASH AND ROCK FEST Bands, Location And More Info TBASoon Tacoma, WA

FRIDAY JUNE 24th Japan Red Cross Benefit Show Pin Pon Dash; The Uninvited; Mr. Plow; 9 Lb Beaver @ Motor 1950 1st Ave S (sodo) ALL AGES/ Bar with ID, 8pm, $10

FRIDAY JULY 22nd and SAT JULY 23rd BEER METAL SUMMER CAMP Full Lineup, Directions To Location And More Info TBA Soon @ Snoqualmie National Forest

Stayed tuned for a lot more tasty shows to be announced soon including SEATTLE SKA FEST, CHAOSPALOOZA and SEATTLE PSYCHOBILLY BRAWL!

www.facebook.com/local.chaos.greg www.twitter.com/localchaosshows www.localchaosproductions.com www.myspace.com/localchaosproductions

Doc & Big Randy with Papa Roach

The Punk Rock Staff

When the PUNKNECKS come to down, it’s time to scrape everything from your plate, put on some Rockabilly duds, and get ready for a wild-ass Ho-Down! These cats may be based out of Tennessee, but you’d never know it with their fan base here in St. Louis. And when you add The Devil Baby Freakshow and Johnny Gunn and The Empty Shells (pic below) to the mix, you better be ready to call a cab at the end of the night! You’re gonna need one!

Gary & Big Randy

St Louis, MO

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JUNE SHOWS Who are the most ANNOYING celebrities of modern times? Here I will list five celebrities that make me cringe, wretch and gag every time they pop up on the TV screen, newspapers, magazines, or worse yet... the internet. These are the celebrities that I really wish would shut up and go away, live quiet lives, and quit annoying the holy heck out of me and my good sensibilities. This list was originally a “top ten” list but I have condensed it down to five due to space limitations, so without further ado, here are the worst of the worst celebrities:

Danny Bonaduce: Danny Bonaduce’s claim to fame is that he played the part of Danny Partridge on The Partridge Family back in the 1970s. Nowadays he makes his living as resident “former child actor whose life was screwed up by his early fame” on numerous TV shows, and he seems to pop up everywhere making cameos and guest appearances, usually on lame cable TV programs. I’ll tell you this much: I loved The Partridge Family and Danny Partridge was a cute little redhead kid, but Danny Bonaduce is NOT cute anymore and every time he pops up on some lame TV show I vomit a little bit in my mouth.

Snooki: (Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi) Let me put this right out there for you: I don’t watch much TV and I don’t have cable. I really should not even know who Snooki is, except for the fact that she is EVERYWHERE on the internet, usually due to her drunken shenanigans. I understand she “stars” in a reality TV show about Italian guidos and bimbos in New Jersey... that’s great, just what we need. In a way Snooki is kind of hot, but on the other hand she’s a short and dumpy fugly woman with bad manners. That’s just the impression I get from seeing her on the internet. And the name “Snooki”... what’s up with that? “Snooki” is the name you give your pet cat or small dog. Please wake me up when Snooki’s fifteen minutes are over. WOOF!

Paris Hilton: Yeah, Paris Hilton is a skinny, blonde hottie with rich parents. She parties. She makes internet porn videos. She parties some more. She’s rich. She parties. She had her own reality TV show for a brief spell.

Did I mention she has rich parents? These are the reasons Paris Hilton is a celebrity, and I for one do not give a shiznit about her. Yeah, I’d do her in a heart beat if I had the chance, but still—she’s just a rich, spoiled brat.

There are millions of other hot women on this planet who do much more than party and make internet porn videos, but you never hear about them because they don’t have super rich parents. The good news is that when Paris Hilton gets older and loses her looks she will fade away into obscurity... hopefully!

Charlie Sheen: I originally intended to put Charlie Sheen a lot lower on my list as he’s been in the news so often in the past year for his problems with drugs, alcohol, prostitutes, and cars, but since he’s been making so much noise as of late he has been boosted up in my rankings. Hey now, I love Charlie Sheen as an actor— especially his dead-pan comedic acting in flicks such as Scary Movie 3 and 4—and I used to think he was a cool guy, but after his recent lunatic rantings and ravings that have been making the news everywhere, I have to say I am SICK of Charlie Sheen and his over-saturated, gigantic ego. The man actually believes he has super powers and is superior to the rest of us losers, and if I hear the phrase “Tiger Blood” one more time I am going to freak out, invade the nearest Blockbuster video store, and destroy every copy of Platoon.

6/2 Thurs - Plague Ships, Blood and Thunder, Metaphoria 6/3 Fri - Skelator, Split Heaven (Mexico), Spellcaster, Year of the Serpant 6/4 Sat - Power Skeleton, The Of, Wind Swept Planes, My Printer Broke 6/6 Mon - Metal Mondays w/ Skinwalker, Nekro Morphosis, Blood of Kings $5 6/9 Thur - Shedu, PukeSnake, 10 Cent Monkey 6/10 Fri - The Screeming Starts, Yamamoto (Spokane x fumes), Zombie Surf Camp (Sand Diego) 6/11 Sat - Veratta, Steelscape, Depths of Insanity, Amerikan Overdose 6/12 Sun - Bridgebuilder, Into The Storm + guests 6/13 Mon - Metal Mondays w/ Bloodhunger, Phalgeron, Defenestrator $5 6/15 Wed - Backfire 4 pm 6/16 Thur - Witchhaven,Shaded Enmity, Drakul, Sword of Judgement

Pee-wee Herman: By far and without a doubt, Pee-wee Herman (real name Paul Reubens) is the most annoying celebrity and/or character of all time. This man just plain gives me the creeps! I mean, just look at the dude: Everything about Peewee Herman is creepy and annoying, from the way he dresses, his face, his bow tie, his hairstyle, his voice, his cackling laugh... I guess that covers it all. Plus the fact that Pee-wee Herman was arrested in 1991 for masturbating in an adult movie theater seals the deal. I would love to say that the bad publicity from that arrest ruined his career and removed him from the limelight forever, but Pee-wee Herman has resurrected himself as of late with his own Broadway stage show... GAG!!!!

BOOK OF THE MONTH: Since Oprah has retired, I am officially taking over her “book of the month” duties, and my first pick is none other than my brand new book: Tales From Outer Space, which is a collection of my best articles, ramblings, blogs and bulletins posted on various internet websites over the years (some which have also run in the Sinner), my “greatest hits,” if you will, remastered for the year 2011 and beyond. This book contains all my wit, my wisdom, my philosophy—my zen—compacted down to 202 pages of cherry pie heaven for the eyeballs.

The book also contains over 90 photos and pieces of art I’ve collected over the years as a rock musician. If you dig the stuff I’ve been writing in my “Huggy Talk” column, you will dig the book. It is available for purchase online through my personal website at paulblow.tripod.com.

Tales from Outer Space is currently on the “best smellers” list at Barnes and Stables, and I will be celebrating the release of the book with a series of readings and signing parties in various dive bars in the Seattle area, TBA on my Facebook page. DIG IT!

New book by Paul Diamond Blow

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6/17 Fri - Last American Bad Ass, Pretty Ugly, Omega Moo, Chaos Revolution Theory 6/18 Sat - Slave Traitor, Long Distance Operator, Gazebo of Destruction, Sabertooth (Calgary ALB) 6/19 Sun - Trigger Effect, Vast Void, Bad Habit 6/20 Mon - Metal Mondays w/ Goat Castle, Tasty Lixxx, Nordus, Ground Level Vertigo $5 6/23 Thur - The Apollos, Remidios the Beauty, Atomic Symphonic, Radio Shark 6/24 Fri - Nine N Out, Low Land High, The Urban Achievers 6/25 Sat - Poorsport, Mind Candy, Can’t Complain + guests, hosted by Sir Mark Bruback 6/27 Mon - Metal Mondays w/ Baal Beryth, Sacrament Ov Impurity, Butyric Fermentation $5 6/28 Tues - Holy Name Dropouts, Above Ground, Doktor Klaw, Mourning Light

myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

On The Scene with Malice

SEATTLE

Warner Drive, Dollhouse Skandal, Connibal Road @ Fubar May 20

TWO WORDS: F*ING PHENOMENAL! Here it is the middle of my work week and I am still high from this show. The world could have ended and I would not have cared. I feel like I’ve been RAPTURED!!

If you haven’t heard about Warner Drive yet, you just haven’t been paying attention. Ronnie “Elvis” James is our hometown hero made good, an outstanding bass player with mad skillz and a massive stage presence.

He is my biggest success story (like I invented him or something, but no, he’s flesh and blood and ink – I don’t have to make stuff up or exaggerate when I’m writing about his illustrious career). And yes, I know, there are other people in the band, and each is frontman material with a stage presence larger than life. There’s Jonny Law, one of the tallest individuals I’ve ever met, who puts his whole body into every performance; Candice who lends glamour and grace to the stage; Jonny Udell looking ever so much like Animal the Muppet; and Brian, the new guy filling in on guitar who is highly entertaining to watch, and a show all by himself when he takes off his shirt!

I had been looking forward to this show since November, as I had missed their last one at Fubar back in March because it was a Wednesday and I can rarely make it out on a week night. So I was really stoked when I heard they were coming back on a Friday night!

While we were waiting for Warner Drive to hit the stage, we were hanging out on the other side of the bar, getting acquainted with the bartender, Ali McBooty, and chatting with Elvis, Jonny Law, Jonny U and Candice.

It was an unexpected surprise to find out one of our friends, Randy Hopskins (you’ve probably seen him playing guitar in Joe Dirt and Trixie Delight), had worked with Elvis at Kinko’s back in the day! It’s always a big reunion when he comes into town, all of his old friends show up, even in the middle of a storm.

One of the opening bands who particularly impressed me was Dollhouse Skandal, they’ve got a very tight sound and good presence. I spent some time hanging out with JT (guitar), Seth (drums), and Adam (singer) after their show and I liked what they had to tell

me about their band. Definitely a BAND YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT and one you will be hearing more from me about very soon. It doesn’t hurt that they’re also huge Warner Drive fans and spent a good deal of time FrontRow-Center right there with me! JT mentioned that even though he’d never heard them before, he knew right where they were going with the songs. Seth pointed out that the whole band had frontman capabilities, and I have to agree. Dollhouse Skandal has played Pops, Fubar, Lemmons, Way Out Club, Joey B’s, Club 111, Lemp Brewery, and Elbo Room in Chicago. You should make it a point to see one of their shows, you won’t be disappointed.

One of the other opening bands was Connibal Road. They were pretty good as well, featuring a very tight set with a good presence – and these guys know how to dress for the stage! Their songs were catchy and you felt their energy. Good job, Guys!

Finally, our wait was over, Warner Drive hit the stage! They journeyed a long, long way to spend a few short hours bringing down the roof and we were most appreciative! Their songs are swirling around in my head even now. I can’t remember all the songs, but I do remember each one having a high energy, contagious feel-good vibe. It’s an honest-to-god adrenaline rush. Then the encore to end all encores, Motorhead’s ‘Ace Of Spades’. I knew as soon as I saw Jonny Law give Elvis “the sign” (his hands in “prayer mode”) that they were going to do it! They have a video on YouTube of them performing this cover with Jonny Law doing this crazy Ace Of Spades pose, shaping himself into a human spade with arms over his head, and palms pressed together...you’ve got to see if for yourself! I am delighted that I got to see it firsthand!

I have been RUINT for all other bands. It’s going to be hard getting back to real life after this. The good news is they’re coming BACK July 27 @ Fubar, again, it’s on a Wed, but call in dead the next day...it’s only your job;) See you all at the next show!

Malice

13

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myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

Raising Hell With Guitar Doug “The song Red List, Blue List, talks about the two sides of the fence. The Blue List, is the list with the names of every human that will be of use, or an asset to the whole “project”. By project, I mean The New World Order.”

– Evan Nagle, Big Wheel Stunt Show

B

ig Wheel Stunt Show has just released their second album, Cheetah Milque, which for fans of heavy rock trios is one of the better local rock albums to come down the pike. Fans of bands like Mos Generator, The Valley, Stone Axe, and Valis might tend to gravitate toward the Big Wheel Stunt Show scene. Tony Reed of Mos Generator and Stone Axe actually recorded the band's first album, A Brand New Bag. BWSS is a "Watchers Band" - meaning: Must-SeeLive. The guitar players in the audience tend to be upfront, watching Evan Nagle twisting and turning through all sorts of guitar styles from Van Halen to Hendrix.

Meanwhile, bassist Jake Melius is all over the fret board, playing in a style along the lines of John Entwisle and Cliff Burton, with drummer Justin Gimse holding down a solid backbeat while sharing back-up and lead vocals with Evan.

On-stage and off, BWSS often criticize, with song and commentary, a seemingly shadowy International Banking Cartel, which many claim are pulling the strings of the Military Industrial Complex - and have subsequently seized control of America and the Modern World. Many refer to it as the New World Order or the NWO. According to believers, the NWO works through an interlocking group of committees and secret roundtable organizations, under names like The Bilderberg Group, Council On Foreign Relations and the The Trilateral Commission. Those groups, in fact, do exist and are headed by bankers like David Rockefeller, the Rothschilds and the Royal Families... but the meetings are secret.

The goal of The New World Order, as is claimed, is to set up a global totalitarian government, along the lines of the book 1984. A hellish, scientific dictatorship, where the public is drugged into submission through the drinking water and required to have implantable chips in order to buy, sell and trade.

The Modern-Day blueprint of the NWO goes back to the late 1700s, but has regained interest with savvy historians witnessing the Banker Bailouts, the Global Recession and the succession of American/NATO wars.

The New World Order is currently being blamed for everything from 9-11, chemtrails, fluoride in the water and spiking vaccines with cancer causing agents. The NWO is also seen as the ideology behind the setting up concentration camps in the United States, which would be used to round up Americans in the case of Martial Law. Most of those who talk of the New World Order also believe the entire war on terror is staged, as a means to line the pockets of the bankers, consolidate control and achieve their ultimate goal of a one-world, totalitarian government. They have literally written about it.

A packed house at the Sea-Tac Double-Tree Grand Ballroom witnessed the very second show delivered by BWSS. It was a convention for Texas Congressman and now-Presidential candidate, Ron Paul and his organization Campaign for Liberty. The band opened the night's festivities with an acappella of the Star Spangled Banner and closed the night with a few feel-good covers.

The following night they played a ball for all of the attendees. Pictures and video of the event can be found online. Many were wondering how this brand-new band had secured this gig.

Apparently, the folks "in the know" had checked their "Freedom and Liberty" bonafides.

Let’s talk with Evan and Justin of Big Wheel Stunt Show and see what this is all about. This sounds serious, so let’s see if we can get to the bottom of it.

What is The New World Order?

Evan - The New World Order is less a name, than it is a concept that has been around a long time. The actual name “New World Order” was made very public with the George Bush Sr. speech back in the day and gets mentioned on the news channels every once in awhile. It’s definitely out there and something...

to the whole “project”. By project, I mean the New World Order Throughout the song it has little phrases of hope (as do most of our songs including these topics) or what we can do in the simplest form like “wake up, stand up, pump your fist, think about the surveillance and tabs kept on us (including Facebook) and realize that it does exist”, and that is where the line asking do you think it doesn’t exist brothers/sisters/people comes from.

Why do you have a chemtrail photo on the backside of your first album?

Justin - Chemtrails... we did have two chemtrail songs on our first album, a song called “Lie in the Sky” and one written by our original bass player, Stuntman Mike, named “Douche Me.” Which is still a favorite by many fans, even though we don’t play it live any longer.

Evan - Chemtrails are confused with Contrails. Contrails are the upper-atmosphere vapors and ice crystals that are visible after a jet flies over. They are bright and strong for a moment and quickly disperse.

Justin - Chemtrails are actual substances that do not disperse and over the course of hours, cover our skies for the rest of the day.

Many people have looked up and witnessed the turning of a rare Puget Sound clear-blue sky day into a hazy, microwave white in the course of a few hours. They contain chemical toxins such as aluminum and barium compounds.

Google it up Evan - Doug, these are details that we have learned about and many people have a very hard time imagining our own people and rulers of the sky would do this to us.

Why would someone spray chemicals over the public?

Evan - There are a few reasons and ideas out there.

Much like the book 1984, the whole idea of the NWO is based on a One World Power and Government that has complete control in every way. Like what we eat (Monsanto and their patented seeds), what jobs we can have (mostly Govt now), where we can travel (So. Ariz), and if we can (TSA), who we talk to, and what we talk about, like this right now (facebook) - How long we live (chemtrails, food, medicine), or even what medicine we are allowed to have, even if we need it and it’s legal in your state (medical marijuana).

Tell us about the song Red List/Blue list.

Evan - The song Red List/Blue List, talks about the two sides of the fence. The Blue List, is the list with the names of every human that will be of use, or an asset,

Justin - A news weatherman talked about it on-air, when pointing out the abnormal clouds in the area - calling back to his days in the military and dubbed it an anti-radar or anti-sattelite or whatever spraying, Youtube it.

Evan - Another one of the theories is called Slow Kill, or population control. Aluminum has been seen as a cause of Alzheimer’s. Aluminum and Barium are ingredients for a weakened human and biological immune system. In Hawaii old-trees are dying from all of the spraying. It’s been documented. There’s a shit load of money made in the medical fields and insurance companies. Money is power, power is control, and the circle goes around and around. It’s always been that way. Why should it be different now?

It seems pretty far-fetched doesn’t it?

Justin - As a military-minded kid growing up. I was jet crazy. I would watch and see contrails in the sky all of the time. They taught us what Contrails were in 5th grade at my school. What goes out now, especially off of the Washington Coast, which I have witnessed, looks nothing like my intrigued, educated eyes witnessed years back. It’s obviously man-made... why? You figure it out for yourself. Research! Watch some of the incredible videos out there on Youtube, done by some educated people. At least check it out. Hell, look up in the sky a few times during the day... We’re not cavemen...

Tell us about this whole fluoride in the water thing.

Where did that come from and how is the NWO involved?

Justin - First of all, a small amount of fluoride directly on your teeth has benefits. Can we get that out of the way?

You’re not supposed to ingest it! Just read the damn warning label on your toothpaste and it’ll say just that.

It’s the whole “forcing the population” to drink it thing that I have a problem with. Fluoride destroys the bones.

It was used in Nazi and Soviet Camp drinking water to make the prisoners more docile. Now, most major cities, on down to small towns, have it put into the public drinking water, and they have no say about it. Poison in the tap water. It’s quite literally an industrial waste. Who makes it? Global corporations. Who let’s them dump it into our water supplies? Our elected officials and often un-elected government bureaucrats. Who donates huge wads of cash to these people? The Global Corporations.

Google it up.

Some say there is involvement by the NWO in the Gulf spill. What is your opinion, Justin?

Justin - The Gulf Coast is a big dead zone now. The fish and sea life is dying. It’s hardly ever reported in the mainstream news any longer. I don’t know if it was an accident or if it was planned. We’ll probably never know the truth about it because everyone involved was immediately slapped with “gag” paperwork from their employer BP and their contractor - to keep their mouths shut.

Our President said it was okay to eat the seafood out of the Gulf while the damn well was still pumping out millions of gallons of oil and other deep-crust chemicals into the water. If you wonder if things can be orchestrated at such a huge level, that little nugget is pretty hard hitting. I mean, who in their right mind, let alone the leader of the Free World, would tell their people to eat foods that they are absolutely unsure of as far as the safety of the stuff. Mind-boggling. Somebody put the thumbscrews to him, I’m sure. Just look at how BP got off so light. Our own Congress passed legislation CAPPING the amount of money BP would have to pay out.

Who’s working for who here? The millions of gallons of Corexit that they sprayed into the Gulf, after the EPA told them to stop, should have landed every one of their Executives in prison. People are sick in the Gulf. Workers have been coming down with crazy illnesses... and we don’t hear a thing. Just like we hardly hear about the on-going nuclear meltdowns going on in Japan right now. It’s worse than Chernobyl, and I was around when that went down. Well, not in Russia, but you know, around living. There was 10% of the media back then and they covered it non-stop. Now? Dust in the wind. Make that “Nuclear” dust in the wind blowing toward America.

But everything’s fine! Go back to sleep. Vote for the crooks when election time comes and than go back to sleep. That’s what They want.

AL SWACKER & THE UNLUCKY BASTARDS REMEMBER DIRTY ERNIE

W

world take-over.

Glenn: We met while drinking.

How did you meet Ernie?

Al Swacker: I met Ernie for the first time at the old Way Out Club at Cherokee and Compton when I hosted the Monday night open mics in 1998. He would come in after his bartending job at the Casino Queen and we’d talk about rockabilly and punk rock. We hit it off from the start. In 1999 he started Dirty Ernie’s Greaseball at the Galaxy where he’d feature three rockabilly/psychobilly bands, fire breathing strippers (long before burlesque was in St. Louis), a DJ (me), and local vendors selling rockabilly and punk clothing, jewelry, etc.

Steve: I spoke with Ernie for many years at shows (mostly Grease Balls and the like), but I finally “met” him at my house in 2003 at another random BarBQ my roommates held. We began our conversation about music as usual, when somehow we started geeking out about computer networking. Thick as thieves we’ve been ever since, building servers and planning our

Tell me an interesting story about you guys...

Al Swacker: At Dirty Ernie’s Greaseball in 2000 a fire broke out when the dancers’ fire source spilled onto the stage and we had to evacuate, labelling that show Dirty Ernie’s Grease Fire. In 2001 the show moved to Mississippi Nights where he featured rockabilly legends Billy Lee Riley and Narvel felts with the CrazyBeats as an opener and back-up band for the night. The next year Ernie joined the CrazyBeats as our drummer. The CrazyBeats backed up Billy Lee Riley 2 more times as well as playing other venues, parties and weddings around St. Louis.

In the mid 2000s Ernie and his then-wife opened FiFi’s rock and roll clothing store. In 2006, Ernie started Naked Rock Stars at Mirasol in The Loop which featured local bands playing acoustically. Ernie and I formed a rockabilly combo with Glen and Fever in 2010 and could never come up with a name that sticks.

First we were Al Swacker and the Rhythm Rats, then Al Swacker and the Dukes of Danger, then Al Swacker and the Poison Hearts. We finally settled on the Unlucky Bastards, and it sure fit.

Glenn: I think I’ve known Ernie for the shortest time of any of his friends, but he treated you as if you’d been friends forever. I felt like I’d gone to high school with the guy and we smoked in the boys room many a time. As Al said, Ernie believed in people and was always supportive. He chose to have me play guitar with him and I’ll never forget “Unlucky Bastards”!

Steve: Ernie was always a fan of cheap beer, but

hen the news of Dirty Ernie’s death finally reached me through Faceboook, it took a while for the shock to wear off. It didn’t seem real, as it does now asking his band mates to remember him here. I met him two years ago, and only knew him through the club scene, but I knew he was a cat you could trust, even with your wife when you left them alone at the table to grab a round of PBRs – and that says a lot about a first impression. I will certainly miss running into him around St. Louis, as I know many of you will too. To keep this short, I only asked three questions of his mates that I thought filled in a couple of blanks.

I hope they do for you as they did for me. RIP Dirty Ernie!

he did have his standards (PBR or death). One night when he was playing drums in my old band, he found himself drinking Busch Beer. The bar we were playing at only had Anheuser-Busch products and this time the cheapest beer in the house just wasn’t satisfactory for the great Dirty Ernie. After about an hour of listening to him complain about the beer, I finally had enough and put some tape over his mouth. Immediately he settled down and seemed content... for about 30 minutes he left the tape on and he was happy as a lark not drinking that god awful beer. I still have the pictures and I’ve never seen him so content.

How did Ernie become Dirty Ernie?

Al Swacker: Ernie and I spent many a drunken night arguing politics and chatting music, always ending with a hug and a kiss. I really don’t know how he got the name Dirty. He was by no means perfect but there was nothing dirty about him. He treated everyone he met as family, he was a fantastic father and a great promoter of me. He suggested I do the “Al Swacker presents...” shows, he hooked me up with DJ jobs at Mirasol, Pin up Bowl and Deluxe. He was my greatest champion and best friend. He was learning to sail when he suffered an aortic tear. He had just eaten a couple of crawfish and his famous last words

to the paramedics were, “Whatever you do, don’t eat the crawfish.” He passed away happy after meeting the love of his life, Rebecca Futcher. He is survived by his 2 incredible daughters, Samantha and Sophia, his wonderful mother, Shirley, and a million best friends.

Steve: I heard the name came from the girls he worked with at the strip clubs when he was DJing.

Something about his prolific introductions as he announced the girls entrances on the main stage. Ernie always had a way with words.

Plaster 5/28/2011 @ The 2 Bit Saloon in Seattle Photos by Tina D Photography

6/10 - Blumeadows, Hendrix Tribute Charley’s 1734 Central Ave S in Kent 8pm no cover 21+ 6/11 - Arakus, Blood & Thunder, Noel Austins Freaks Motor 1934 1st Ave S in Seattle • $10 All Ages 8pm

The Downstrokes May 12 at The 2 Bit Saloon in Seattle

6/18 - Hard Money Saints, Hot Roddin’ Romeos, Pin Ups Against Cancer Charley’s 1734 Central Ave. S in Kent 8pm 21+ no cover 6/23 - Metal At Motor Sponsored By Rockstar Energy Drink Koz Of Konfuzion, Nightshaed, Hester Prynne, Athena Motor 1934 1st Ave S in Seattle - All Ages, 8pm $10

6/24 - “The American Night” A Tribute To The Doors Charley’s 1734 Central Ave S in Kent 8pm 21+ No Cover 6/29 - Mid Week Metal Mayhem Parihas, Judas Wake, Doktor Klaw, D.A.27, Thou Shall Kill Hells Kitchen 928 Pacific Ave in Tacoma 21+ $3 7/8 - Birch Riley And 3 More Band Tba Hayleys In Everett • $5 21+ 9Pm 7/9 - Sub Vinyl Jukebox Charley’s 1734 Central Ave S in Kent 21+ 8Pm No Cover

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7/14 Metal At Motor W/ Ninthgate, Regional Faction, Project Blackbook, The Wounded Fall.

All Ages, $5 8Pm myspace.com/stlouissinner

- myspace.com/seattlesinner

Subversion

April 29th @ The Crack Fox Photos by Insomniac Studios

With Subversion celebrating it’s two year anniversary, The Crack Fox was the place to be on April 29th. With performances from year’s past, Subversion lived up to it’s reputation of providing the most sinful acts!

??

ANOTHER PUNKNECKS SHOT!!!!

Look at this shot! How could I not work in this photo of the Punknecks by Wendy Kyle? Great shot Wendy!

Habit Of Force

Maryland Heights Community Theater The Habit of Force CD release party on Friday, May 13th was the hardest hittin’ show I’ve been to all year – and so was the after party! Be sure to catch these Hard Rockers the next time they come to town!

??

Silver Ballroom

THE ROACHES INVADE When I stopped in The Silver Ballroom to talk shop with Doc last month, he had several key announcements to make. For one, SEETHER will be stopping in The Ballroom on Thursday, June 9th to hang with customers and even serve up some of Uncle Dalington’s famous hot wings! And two, PAPA ROACH was stopping in the next night to play some pinball and drink beer. Yep, that’s right folks! And get this, I think he even said something about SLAYER stopping in come July to cook up some pancakes. But don’t quote me on that.

Yeah, it sounds like Bullshit, some scam The Scam would pull to get people to show up. And that’s why I went down June 3rd, to see if Doc had lost a few of his balls, or was shootin’ straight. The picture says it all: Expect to see SEETHER serving hot wings on June 9th and other national acts stopping in The Silver Ballroom later this summer.

Doc and Big Randy with Papa Roach

BAND NEWS Greetings fans, friends, Sinner readers and all else. The Screaming Starts (The Creeper, Stew Manchu, The Wolfman and Youngblood) would like to take this opportunity to personally thank everyone who has been to any of our shows or supported us in any way. Without you, this ever-evolving and exciting scene would not exist. There are so many talented musicians paying their dues right now... The Hardcount, Big Wheel Stunt Show, Shotty, White City Graves, Koozebane and the list goes on.

This is a call to arms for all musicians and music lovers in this hit and miss city!

Everyone revels in the past and how great the underground scene was "back in the day". Even though I do enjoy such nostalgia... the past is the past! If we keep complaining about the present and keep the past on an unobtainable pedestal... the future will be dead. The power is in your hands to surpass the past! This isn't a ploy to promote ourselves... I'm promoting every talented MotherFucker out there sweating and bleeding for an empty room. There are EXCELLENT bands right now, at your back door... all you have to do is open it. Read The Sinner, support local music, start a band or write a poem. Just make sure you do something! Cheers! – The Creeper/The Screaming Starts

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A Handy Dandy, Randy Dandy Guide to Unemployment Words by Emily Eufinger - Photos by Matthew Prather

E

conomy got you down? Well, the Randy Dandies want to get you … up! Gas prices may be soaring, but the Randy Dandies will have you scoring. Unemployment is swelling; the Dandies make you feel swell, in all the right places. American car parts are being built overseas; the Randy Dandies would like to oversee your parts. Labor unions organize for workers’ rights; the Randy Dandies get your organ working right.

There’s no such thing as too much innuendo at the Randy Dandies Pink Slip Show, which ran April 29 and 30 at the Gaslight Theatre, two shows each night. The troupe presented more than a mere burlesque show; they incorporated burlesque, pole, and aerial silks into sketch comedy. Gaslight proved an intimate venue, perfect for involving the crowd with the show. The Dandies tossed out tons of PBR loot, and brought audience members onstage for complementary spankings.

Swifty Deeds, an over-achieving office lackey with a “personality on par with a gherkin,” gets laid off despite his diligent work efforts.

He is stripped of his income source, his dignity, and his clothes.

Disenchanted with corporate America, he reports to the Office of Unemployment clad only in his boxers and necktie.

His case worker, Mimi Le Yu, possessed revealing files of astonishing detail regarding Deeds, almost as though she already knew him both on the surface and underneath.

She suggested Swifty try his hand at

lumberjacking. After whacking and whacking, he didn’t make the cut; it was more a matter of “could” than a matter of “would.”

Next Swifty attended Traffic Director training, where instructor Roxy Red Rockets capably guided him with her light-up thong and pasties. Her “Safety Dance” and stunning poi spinning electrified the audience, but—shockingly—Deeds wanted to try another route.

Mimi thought hard one more time, and then it hit her: Gretta Garters—leather-clad pain-distribution specialist—needed a practice dummy, and Deeds more than qualified. Gretta tried to whip him into shape, but rode him too hard. Chafed and swollen, he fled back to the Unemployment Office.

Annoyed with Swifty’s whining (and increasingly distracted by the janitor, UPS man, and the charming IT Specialist), Mimi handed his file off to someone else. His second case worker—who seemed more interested in the Glamour Shots of her cats littering the office—thought firefighting would suit Deeds. The sizzling Ricky Phoenix took Swifty under his wing, and demonstrated swanlike technique up and down the firepole. But Deeds couldn’t take the heat, and another opportunity was extinguished.

Next the picky protagonist inquired of the adorable Indigo whether NASA had any openings. She gave an out-of-this-world performance on aerial silks, swimming gracefully through the sky, and Swifty immediately knew her line of work was way over his head.

Back at the Office, Jiggles McGee of UPS returned to deliver one more package; and he certainly delivered the whole package: a dedicated delivery man to the core, even his thong was fashioned of packing tape. Then, sporting a moustache and old-style gangster suit, Mimi Le Yu did a number reminiscent of Marlene Dietrich in “Blue Angel.”

Finally, Swifty had enough of everyone bossing him around.

He probed the depths of his soul to expose his true desire: to be “In the Navy.” In a celebratory show of support, all the office employees danced to the Village People song, each dressed as a different Village Person. Anchors away!

You can have a Dandy time at Burlesque Bingo every first Thursday at

The Fountain on Locust, and June 3 at the Firebird you can catch The Last of the Glamazons: A Choose Your Own Burlesque Adventure. Give www. therandydandies.com a click to learn more.

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What is Steampunk?

by Jeff Meyer

W

hat is Steampunk? This seemingly simple question becomes more difficult to answer as time goes on. What began as a humble literary movement that gained “steam” in the 1980s and 1990s, inspired by forward looking, and thinking, Victorian-era authors such as H.G. Wells and Jules Verne, and carried on more recently by some notable, and disparate, sci-fi writers of the 20th and 21st century, such as Neal Stephenson, Bruce Sterling & William Gibson, K.W. Jeter and Tim Powers, to name a few, has culturally grown into much more.

Steampunk began as an offshoot or variant of sci-fi, with a Victorian sensibility, focused on reimagined alternate realities, often involving the earlier development of various forms of technology, with some slight twists – fueled only by the limits of our imagination -- think futuristic air ships, trains, lasers, steam-powered contraptions, various riffs on computers or nano-tech gadgets – created in the 19th century, as opposed to the 20th century.

But while Steampunk may have had its genesis as a literary movement, the Steampunk mythos has since had an increasingly wide-ranging and diverse influence on many other aspects of culture world-wide, including art, fashion, film, music, architecture, and dance.

Locally, the recent rise in prominence and popularity of Steampunk culture, and social events, caught the attention of photographers Carrie Meyer and John Williams of Insomniac Studios. Inspired by the spirit of adventure and creativity embodied by so many Steampunk devotees, as well as the Steampunk flair for fashion and artistic and technological innovation, they set out to do a photographic exhibit capturing the Steampunk style and sensibility of some willing regional Steampunk personalities.

The resulting images they captured, of six local Steampunkers, all with their own unique takes on the look and feel of the genre, seek to give viewers a more personal glimpse into life in the burgeoning St. Louis Steampunk scene.

When asked about the first Steampunk event that she took part in, model Ami Amore stated that she has been performing as a dancer in steampunk events since April of 2010, when she performed with her group Exotic Rhythms Bellydance at Conspiracy’s 1st Sexy Steampunk Soiree, in April of 2010. But the first steampunk social event she attended was back in 2008, when local music event Rapture hosted a steampunk-themed party. A strong Steampunk influence shows in much of Ami’s performance costuming and jewelry, the majority of which is self-made.

Model Ember Lark, when asked what particular elements of Steampunk culture first interested or inspired her to become a part of the Steampunk lifestyle, stated “I’ve always loved the visual aesthetic, the Bell Epoque, & the adventure stories of H.G. Wells and Jules Verne, but it’s the sense of remixing and play that really grabbed me. There aren’t any limits to how you can punk history.”

She posits – “What would the Civil War have been like with Mech Suits, Airships, and Zombies? What if the sexual revolution had happened in the 1870s instead of the 1970s? The creativity and willingness of the Steampunk community to turn cool ‘what ifs’ into reality is terribly exciting.” And it is this musing and contemplative outlook, and speculative nature, that is a key component of the Steampunk philosophy and way of thinking.

Something else that attracts Ember Lark, and many others, to the Steampunk ethos, is that pregnant sense of possibility, and ingenuity, inherent in all things viewed through the Steampunk lens. In her words, “We’ve got working mechanical hands, ray guns, laptops that look like they’ve been stolen off the Nautilus, steampunk jetpacks … and enough neat gadgets and dapper threads to make James Bond jealous. By breathing new life into the past, we’re bringing a bit of magic to the present.”

The result of this photographic exploration of the St. Louis Steampunk world, presented by Carrie Meyer and John Williams of Insomniac Studios, is titled Clockwork Camera Obscura: A Steampunk Pictorial.

The photography exhibit will be presented in conjunction with Conspiracy’s 3rd Annual Steampunk Social, on Friday, June 17th, 2011. The event is being held at the Crack Fox, located at 1114 Olive St., St. Louis, MO. There will be an artist’s reception and happy hour from 5-8 pm; followed by the Conspiracy event at 8 pm. The Conspiracy event will include live DJs, vendors, dancers, and a Steampunk ice cream social, all for a cover charge of $8. The Crack Fox is a 21+ venue.

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I

stood with a group of nervous and smiling group of folks, having shown up at six p.m. as per the Blyster Press e-mail that I'd shown to my sweetie/slave, because I didn't trust my own eyes to tell me the truth. I had focused mainly on the part that said 'be ready', and though I'd tried not to get excited about the possibility that my story had maybe won in this year's Crypticon writing contest, by last Saturday, standing with the nervous group in the vendor's room, I was pretty danged excited, and nervous.

The names were finally read, and no, yours truly's name was not among the winners (which were printed in this year's anthology, the grand prize winner having also been given two Seattle Film Festival movie passes, and a dinner certificate and trophy), though I was still psyched. At least I was a finalist in something that mattered, as I'm working hard to move Stephen King out of the top spot as a major horror writer. Well, next year folks, because yes, I will keep writing horror and I'll certainly enter that contest again.

So, from that little bit of disappointment, I went back to networking with folks in the vendors room (including another Black female horror writer, who was really excited to be launching her first book and who gave me lots of info on the fact that yes, there are other Black folks writing horror and science fiction), and buying one more thing for my sweetie/slave, before re-joining the throng of fans in the hallways. It was a joyful and nearly overwhelming several hours of greeting old friends, sitting in on two panel discussions about horror films ( the last part of 'Extreme Horror', which melded into the next panel 'How Far Can Too Far Go', a panel on horror films that might have just crossed the line into too far), and hanging out.

Waiting for the International Bank of Timbuktu slave auction (the first one at Crypticon), to start--it was running a bit late---I bopped into the Biohazard room party for a moment of watching others dance (the knee's still healing folks), and a little showing off the mustache painted on me by the nice guy at Contours Face and Body Art (it was so cool being a boi for a day!), then back to the slave auction.

A fun time, as always, by the IBT folks, with lots of flashing of flesh and teasing, and rewarding the best 'talent' with Mardi Gras beads.

I also managed to catch a screening of Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part 6, which included a running commentary by a very energy juiced up bunch of folks, including some local comedians and some of the cast (of course the continually texting guy who sat next to me was NOT part of the fun, for me). By the time my sweetie got off from the crappy day job and came to meet me, in my Vincent Price tribute costume, we still had time to catch the bdsm panel (which had the bad luck of having the lights go out mid-talk, providing a very strange atmoshpere for a less than perfectly orchestrated panel). Definitely a fun-filled day of mingling with some of horror's best from movies and shows I've grown up loving, as well as a butt load of fans and vendors that gave me the best fun I've had since me and sweetie's last 'nighttime adventure'.

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THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF...

Dominique

D

ominique was raised in the small town of Toledo, WA. As early as third-grade, when asked what she wanted to be, she proudly proclaimed "famous"! Jumping into modeling as soon as she turned 18 has had nothing but great results and positive feedback from every project she has been associated with. She spends her spare time modeling, go-go dancing at raves, and has recently thrown herself into the burlesque arena. She also has done her first music video for the band VIII DAYS CLEAN called "Parasite", which can be found on YouTube.com. Simply put, she loves dancing and being on stage. One thing to know about her, though, is she doesn't sugar coat criticism. If there is something wrong with your outfit or style, she will gladly tell you the TRUTH. And I now give you the 7 Deadly Sins of Dominique...

BURLESQUE EVERY THIRD THURSDAY June 11th - Blood & Thunder / Ara-Kus / Red Queen Theory / Noel Austin’s Freak Show June 14th - Affiance / Last Chance To Reason - All Ages Bar w/ID, Doors @ 7 June 16th - Bad Motor Booty Burlesque June 17th - Junior Reid June 18th - Gotta Catch Em All June 23rd - Metal At Motor June 24th - Local Chaos Presesnts: Japan Red Cross Benefit Show

Greed:

Envy:

Wrath:

Pride:

When shopping for others I will often buy two of a certain gift if I really like it so I know that I also own it myself.

When dealing with others, if they constantly screw up, I will quit trying to correct them and just yell at them.

Sloth:

I never conform to a regular schedule. I'm up most nights till 2-5 am and will sometimes sleep an entire day away.

Gluttony:

I eat like a pig. At restaurants I will regularly order 2-3 entrees. Both for quantity and variety.

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I envy anyone who has achieved the fame and fortune to own anything or do anything they want, whenever they want. But who doesn't?

Two years ago I had never danced or modeled.

Now I have focus and know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, and it is actually happening for me. I have always dreamed of this life since my days as a high school band nerd.

Lust:

Older men in a suit and black framed glasses!!

His clothes will be ripped off in a heartbeat!

Ooh La La!

July 1st - Freedom Equals Anarchy July 2nd - Tony Rebel & Queen Afrik July 7th - Billy The Fridge July 8th - West On 18 / Atomic Outlaws / Nether / Riverbend / System 7 All Ages Bar w/ID - Doors @ 7

myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF...

Amanda Mixon H

Gina Simon Photography

ey guys, don’t let Amanda’s innocent smile fool you, she’s quite the lioness. Originally from Panama City, she’s now a St. Louis gal shuffling papers during the day and serving drinks at Mandina’s Sports Bar by night. It’s hard to imagine her serving drinks at an East-Side strip bar or selling sex toys, but those are a few of her past part-time jobs. So I guess she fits right in at Mandina’s, which she says is more like drinking with her buddies than real work!

You can see she’s got an amazing figure, but admits to not knowing her measurements, other than being about 5’4” with a 34D. She’s not into the club scene so much, preferring a simple and laid-back hole-in-the-wall bar. Her perfect night out could be dinner and a movie, some buckets of beer at a sports bar, seeing a local band play, or even a BBQ at the house with friends and family.

She finds it a turn-on when someone is comfortable in their own skin, that it’s a beautiful thing!

And she says honesty, sincerity, and a sense of humor are must-haves in a man. So if you’re arrogant, selfish, shallow or materialistic, you don’t have a chance with her. Those are Deal Breakers with Amanda!

If you’d like to know anything else about her, she says to stop in Mandina’s on Monday or Thursday night, and just ask.

I now give you the 7 Deadly Sins of Amanda Mixon...

WRATH

GREED

PRIDE

LUST

SLOTH

ENVY

Oh, I’m the sweetest little girl in the world! Until you piss me off!!

A HUGE character flaw of mine - I will protect my pride at any and all cost.

Naps are my absolute favorite!!

GLUTTONY

Again, maybe innocent... I share well with others.

FUN, FUN FUN!! The root of so many of my misdeeds!

I might just be innocent of this one... We’re all dealt a different hand, the trick is how you play.

mmmmmmm...Skittles and Starbursts!! And if we’re being honest, beer!

Gina Simon Photography

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Skin Deep with Stu Photography by LB Photography (LBfoto1@yahoo.com)

L

et me start by Saying that the purpose of this monthly column is to offer information and a personal view on matters involving body piercing and modification and is in no way meant to put myself above any other artist in the industry. Secondly, if you have a horror story and choose to share it with us, DO NOT give the name of the artist involved as I will just omit it anyway. There are many artists in the St. Louis and surrounding areas that deserve nothing but the utmost respect from myself and supporters of our shared profession. If you have a question about piercing/modification, a story, or just a desire to better understand the culture and would like that answered, please send them to: Stu@StuModifies.com.

Hey Stu, I noticed you have an event coming up next month and that you are offering some not so everyday things.

Does that include Trans-Dermals? Can you give me a bit of info about them? How bad is it? Healing?

– Thx bro Chris Hey Chris!

I am indeed throwing an event next month at St. Louis Ink. I believe there is an ad for it in this paper, if not there is one on my website (www.StuModifies.com) The event is an appointment holders only event and deposits are being collected starting now.

I am indeed offering many things this time around and one of those things is certainly Trans-Dermals.

The process for something like that is a bit evasive and does cause a substantial amount of aggravation, but in the end it’s really not as bad as you would think. Over all the process is quick and direct without a whole lot of time waiting or messing around under the skin. I would say maybe 10 minutes each give or take based on the tissue and the area being worked. Lots of people think it’s way more evasive than it is, and in my opinion, that’s for one of two reasons...

1. The Medical industry seeks to limit and control all things involving your body all the way down to a woman’s right to birth naturally.

2. The Mod industry of yesteryear made massive efforts to keep it a mystery and prove it more complicated in order to keep it protected as possible

Nowadays, however, there are so many practitioners that we have to do our best to show how knowledgeable about the skin and anatomy we are while proving the procedure to be much easier on the body than previously thought.

That being said, it still is something that takes a lot of thought on your end and a tremendous amount of study on mine.

Healing is discomfortable for some while others don’t seem to mind. When I got my sub-dermal in my hand I was “raptor armed” for about a week, but yet getting the magnet in my finger tip didn’t bother me much at all. There will be swelling and fluid building up, sure, but it’s really no more complicated than healing a piercing or tattoo. Bottom line is Keep it clean and don’t touch it. My instructor, Pinhead Mark, says it best... “less is more”. The more you mess with and clean the new addition the more you aggravate it so limit it as much as possible. Pretty much clean it enough so it doesn’t get infected.

Now everything I am saying is to simplify the idea of getting a Trans-Dermal of course, but there are serious risks just like in everything else. You have to be sure, not only that ya want it but that you can handle the responsibility as well.

I offer these types of things pretty much always and it doesn’t have to be at the event. I just put those things together to get friends from out of state to come work with me ;) Point is you don’t have to rush and get in next month ya got some time to think ,so take it if ya need it or if your ready lets get it in ya.

–Thanks bro

All questions will be answered by email or by a request for you to call me directly and may be in the next issue of the St. Louis Sinner! Thanks for reading!

Stu (Myspace.com/StuModifies - Facbook.com/StuModifies) - Stu@StuModifies.com

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Underground Fashion with

Sam St. Michael

Model: Erica

by Kristen Ivy photos courtesy Don Pham Photography

Model: Savannah Lee Glam

Model: Natasha

Fashionistas’ jaws drop as a Dominatrix struts down the catwalk, riding crop in hand, swatting at a Jesus-shaped pinata. They came for a fashion show at a swanky Portland martini lounge. Now Marilyn Manson is blaring and male models are walked down the runway on leashes. Finally, the Jesus pinata ruptures under the abuses of a woman in a military hat and leather pants. This woman is Sam St. Michael, veteran fashion provocateur. As the Jesus pinata spews condoms, lube, and candy into the crowd, reactions range from shock and disgust to laughter and admiration. This is the Seattle fashion that the mainstream of repetitive retail fashion pretends not to notice.

Sexy, dark, edgy, and polarizing, Sam St. Michael cannot be ignored.

Her most recent show, AMDEF 2011 at the Crocodile in Seattle, showcased her latest designs with a military and post-apocalyptic look. With leather and metal-clad grinder girls shooting sparks across the stage, models brought out attitude, middle fingers, and a spanking paddle. Anyone who finds fashion boring or uptight never saw Sam’s version of a fashion runway!

Her label is a one-woman operation. Every piece is designed and constructed by Sam herself. Though each piece has a fetish twist, the designs range from skull-patterned corsets to one-of-a-kind rubber gas masks and gladiator-style armor.

“For those who use to strive to be different in high school and yet be cool as hell,” she says, “My designs are for YOU!” Before there was such a thing as “Utilikilts”, Sam St. Michael made them. Nordstrom purchased several of her latex pieces for their window displays... but you won’t see this kind of fashion for sale in Nordstrom. Her latex raincoats and water-repellent mesh bags combine a fetish edge with Seattle practicality. For those, like Sam, who see fashion as a performance art, these pieces could transform the daily commute into a catwalk.

Her creativity and technical expertise are unquestioned. Her use of transgender models, fetish materials, and blasphemous pinatas have kept her away from the mainstream, but her following grows. Audiences who would never consider fetish clothing find themselves lured in by Sam’s unique style.

Sam St. Michael’s design credentials include an education at the New York Fashion Academy, where she also teaches, and a career as a cobbler. She has been designing for over fifteen years, doing shows such as Sick and Twisted and Chance in Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco. She has shown her designs in collaborative shows with DNA by Noel Austin, Nuvo Chic, Rene Ropas, and Heidi Fish.

After her show at AMDEF, Sam stands in the center of an underground club, her boots planted on the beer and rainwater-soaked concrete. Not the normal surroundings for a fashion designer, but Sam is neither stuffy nor traditional. What’s on her mind? Breaking into the mainstream. With chart-topping artists dressing up in fetish gear for their videos, she can’t be too edgy for Seattle club-goers and fashion-lovers.

Sam St. Michael isn’t about tradition, comfort, or pretension. Her designs are about sex appeal, provocation, and attitude. She’s an old-school designer with faultless construction and a new aesthetic.”To any sponsors whose balls finally drop,” she says, “You know who to contact.”

Betty and Mandy

R.I.P. “Dirty” Ernie Beiermann 12/21/1962 – 5/27/2011

LE

O

SERIAL KILLER HORrOrSCOPE

M

y passionate Leo, we’re all familiar with your exceptional qualities. Your the king of the jungle, whether it be grass beneath your paws or pavement. Your spirit brightens the darkest of rooms and souls, regardless of intent. Children adore you, as you’re no more than a child yourself at heart. With all your strength and greatness it’s only fitting that your sign is the lion. We all know that, my troubled Leo. It’s what those closest to you don’t know about you that worries me.

Of course, nothing is ever as it seems, and your fortune this month shall bare no exception to the rule. While you enjoy throwing yourself into the center ring, the main stage of life for all to enjoy, there is a darker side to you deeply hidden beneath all the smiles and laughs. So deep, that your past is hard to read. The pain you hide is my first concern. I can’t put a finger on it, but I feel you live a past tragedy over and over again, one that caused harm to a loved one, maybe even death.

As I dig through your soul I see a much younger you, fighting with your wife, shaking your young child relentlessly. I feel that you may have even been incarcerated for this incident. Perhaps this is the root of your pain.

Yes, I believe that’s part of it. But there’s something far graver that torments you. Your demon is resentment. You blame your wife for this past sin, as you did thirty years ago. Understand that it wasn’t the jurors fault for letting her ride and holding you accountable. That was society making the male pay for the crime. Someone had to. But then she left you there to rot in Hell for ten years.

Your resentment is understandable, as is your anger. Let it go Leo, or suffer another demon’s bite.

I understand your distaste for women after what you went through. Many men have lived the same tale and suffered the same torture, but this isn’t about them. This is about you. You have became a loner at a dead-end job as a county clerk. This is no place for a lion, not even one that’s maimed. Perhaps you’re putting too much time into that book you’ve been working on. And being a volunteer for the county carpool program may suppress your devilish wishes, but it’s not enough to keep you from doing the unimaginable, or imaginable for you.

Your thinking of killing. But know that killing innocent women will not bring back your child, nor your wife. Nor will it make all better and well.

And if you think cutting a woman into parts for the special “meat” in your chili for the upcoming County Chili Cook off will end your madness, your dead wrong. I know you want to feel like the lion again, but being daring enough to deliver supplies to the serial killer task force hunting for you will not make your mane shine again either. All these paths will only take you to death row, as it did William Suff in 1995, another infamous Leo serial killer.

So, my troubled Leo, seek professional help, find a friend, pick up a hobby, go on a safari to Africa and run with the lions. I promise, you would rather die a lion’s fate in the jungle than a serial killers in Texas.

Disclaimer: For all you crazy, fucking weirdos out there, this horrorscope is for entertainment purposes only.

It does not in any shape or form depict any real characters or situations in your near future. So please don’t kill anyone. Killings bad, MmmKay?

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myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

Bitching with Buddha

A Scary Event on A Slow July Afternoon, or Why I Don’t Mess With Ouija Boards Anymore

Lu c i fe r

Dear Lucifer, I’m a big believer in smaller government. I’m not some big ass CEO who’s trying to get out of paying taxes. I’m just a mom who is concerned that we are passing the bills for our big spending government on to my children and grand children and maybe even great grand children. But I’m also concerned for my own future now. I need a job and if letting GE and other Mega Corporations get away without paying taxes means jobs then let’s do it. And why are we still bringing in workers from outside our borders? We should make companies hire American Workers! ~ Disgruntled American Mother.

Well DAM, Nothing is ever easy. You can’t throw out the bath water without tossing a few babies, too. You know what I mean? Here’s the deal, although the unemployment rate is at about 10%, this isn’t evenly distributed across the various sectors of your society. Americans with a PhD have an unemployment rate of 2% and for those who have other college degrees, the rate is only 5%. That’s like saying there is no unemployment crisis. There are always a few who are unwilling to sacrifice elderly parents or breakup a marriage to relocate to a job in some shit-hole town. But when you look at high school dropouts, their unemployment rate is at 18%. That’s like One in Five dropouts that can’t get a job.

Hell, probably can’t fill out a job application. The unemployment rate for people with a high school diploma, in case you’re wondering, is 9% which isn’t great either.

So, DAM, when you look at it from this new perspective, the unemployment problem is really a problem in education. Those companies that go outside the country to find new blood aren’t looking for dish washers or floor mopers, they are hunting for electrical engineers and financial analysts. Now guess what’s getting cut in to give the Oil companies and Mega Banks their tax breaks?

That’s right, Education. The wars in the Middle East, which ultimately are about oil, the billion dollar oil subsidies, and Mega Bank tax breaks are creating a permanent unemployable class of people who will not be able to access the college education necessary for the jobs of the future. Tax breaks for the rich by cutting education is like cutting your own throat with a butter knife.

Even with all these tax breaks no one is hiring from the bottom of the food chain, but on the other hand, maybe they’ll legalize prostitution. That should improve the unemployment numbers. ~Your Buddy, Lucifer.

If you want to talk to God, see a psychiatrist, or email: god@theseattlesinner.com. To intercourse with the dark lord Lucifer, drink a bottle of Everclear, or email: lucifer@theseattlesinner.com.

by Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid

A

s it's still rainy and cold as I sit writing this piece in my Seattle apartment, I thought something from a warmer day in my youth would make me forget that even though it's almost JUne, it feels like early March outside. Enjoy!

My mom and dad having split up, and my dad having tried to call us on my grandmother's phone (that's where we 'landed' after the breakup, after years of abuse from my monster of a father), my brothers and sisters and mom were now staying with my aunt and uncle. Her sister, our cousin, was visiting, so for no other reason than that we were young and bored and it was a day in July. With no school, I decided we'd play with an old ouija board someone had let us have. Still don't know where that thing came from, and maybe that alone should have made me be more cautious, but as I said, we were young and bored, me being the oldest, at eleven.

'Let's have a seance and see what happens', I think I said something like this, or maybe those exact words. Everyone agreed, and we sat down in my aunt's bedroom, five kids with nothing better to do, on a July afternoon. We held hands, of course, because that's how I'd seen it done in many, many horror movies (which I loved even then), and I started some kind of made up chant that I thought would work.

About the time I was really into the chanting, and my body started swaying, my cousin got cold feet and broke the circle of held hands, and ran from the room, calling all of us 'crazy', or something like that. I convinced my sister and two brothers to stay, and then I noticed that the air in the room seemed colder than it should be, even with the air conditioner on.

I blew out a breath and I could see my breath in the dim light of the room. Now I was a little scared, so we all just beat feet out of that room as fast as we could. I have no idea what happened to the Ouija board, but I felt like something followed us out of that room; as if yes, I'd really called something into being.

That night, sleeping on a pallet on the floor with my sister, I had horrible nightmares of a very tall woman dressed all in blood red, who kept chasing me with something that looked like a knitting needle. I was convinced if she put that needle into my arm, she'd steal my soul. I woke up in the wee hours of the next morning, covered in sweat and scared to leave my place near my sister though I had to pee. We ended up going to the bathroom together, turning on lights as we went. I was very glad to see daylight and none of us ever mentioned what might have happened in that room again, but I was pretty sure I saw things out of the corner of my eye every time I went into a dark room after that day.

Never did touch a Ouija board again, and to this day, I still warn those who would dabble with the mystical powers I think are associated with the board, to not go there. Better safe than sorry, I say.

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This, I Shamelessly Tell You Dreaming of a gender neutral world, thoughts on the Rapture that didn’t and other ruminations on ‘stuff’

by Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid

I

t’s late, very late, but even though my mind is doing the ‘screen saver’ thing it does when I’ve not gotten nearly enough sleep – had to rush to my first physical therapy session today, when we figured out the clock had stopped, causing me and my sweetie/slave to oversleep, fresh out of one of my weird dreams – I have to get some thoughts down before I greet Mr. Sandman.

Things like, why, in the 21st century are parents still not explaining to their children that the world of ‘boys do this’ and ‘girls do that’, is passe ( I overheard a youngster at my gym lamenting that ‘girls have such long hair’ and complaining that ‘boys have short hair’ and in ‘girl world’ it would be different for girls too...or something like that). I wanted to leap over the bank of lockers separating us, and ask mom why she allowed this, and assure the unseen girl that yes, boys DO have long hair, and I know many girls with short hair, and there are some folks who are both, like me and my sweetie, who regularly trade places, according to who WE want to be on any given day. I happened to be dressing in pirate gear that day, because me and sweetie were seeing Pirates of The Carribbean later ( pile of Disney drek – okay the swordfights were cool and Mr. Depp, as always, thrilled – that plays fast and loose with both history and mermaid legends), and my sweetie dressed in ‘girl gear’ to accompany me.

When will we be able to have parents be comfortable enough themselves that this kind of talk either doesn’t happen, or if it does, the parent can laugh and say something like: ‘well, Chrissy, honey, anyone can have long hair, and you want shorter hair, for more comfort, well, you can have that too, because no one is defined by what’s between their legs, sweetheart’. Ah, how I dream of living in that wonderfully interesting and healthy world, yet I’m pretty sure it won’t come to be in this lifetime.

Unfortunate, to be sure.

I also had to reflect on how bad the world seems to have become, and for some, too bad to think about continuing to work to change things. Thus the whole ‘the world’s ending’ concept that came and went on May 21st. I guess, like a Facebook friend said, we’ve suffered so many wars, disease epidemics and economic mess that only ending the world seems to be a solution. Me, I didn’t see the world ending, and didn’t and don’t want it to, but I’d sure like my managers to get their sorry butts up to my apartment and do something about the ‘wired by crackheads’ wiring system in my kitchen and bathroom, before a spark leads to the flames that burn the damned building down around me and my neighbors’ ears. By this, I don’t mean the folks I see in the office, on a fairly regular basis, but the dollar wasting CEO, (who about a year or two ago was questioned about his ‘needing’ a hummer to drive to work, by a local tv station). Guess they’d rather let the folks in my building suffer a burnt hulk of a building than spend one penny more to fix the damned problems.

Finally, as my poor sleep-deprived brain threatens to shut my eyes and make me sleep, whether I want to or not, I reflect on the cover of People Magazine at my gym, with a picture of ‘the sexiest man alive’. Some actor who only recently burst onto the over-crowed pop culture scene, who’s greatest claim to fame at present, is that he’s starring in the movie version of the DC comic, Green Lantern. I looked at the photo with my sweetie and again thought of that 66% white thing in Seattle and wondered why none of the ‘sexiest men’ in the last couple of years have been either Black, Latino or Asian (to my knowledge).

Also, why has Seattle Woman NEVER (to my knowledge) had a woman of color on it’s front cover? Will that happen before I’m freed from the prison sentence that is living in Seattle, for me?

One wonders, but for now, I’m going to put my little brain to bed and welcome whatever strange dreams may come (including one about me living in Ballard, and away from the parking challenged and scrubby dude infested environs of Capitol Hill – yes, the ‘Trader Joes crew’ of no accounts is still making life ‘interesting’ when I shop there, and have to deal with them out front of the store). Also one where the question ‘is it a boy or girl’, and ‘pink for girls’ and ‘blue for boys’ is moot, and gender neutral is a good thing.

This, I shamelessly tell you....

(This column is dedicated to my cousin Carolyn, who made my youth better and who I’ll miss, now that she’s on ‘the other side’. Viva, kiddo.)

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Think Outside The Cage with Kendra Holliday of The Beautiful Kind

How Do I Conceive?

Dear Kendra, I’ve been married to my wonderful husband for six years and we have a great house and great jobs. Life is great! There’s only one thing missing - we’ve been trying to have a baby for the past two years.

Trying to get pregnant has almost become an obsession for me. It’s taken the fun out of sex. People give us all sorts of advice, from practical (recommending positions) to silly (place a rabbit figurine facing east in the bedroom).

I hate to admit it, but I’m starting to get desperate. My gyno says things seem to be in working order. We’re saving up for evasive fertility treatments. I WANT A BABY! Why is it so hard?? ~ Rebekah

Model: Angela Soete

North St Louis Mandina’s 1319 St Louis Ave

Cherokee District Apop Records 2831 Cherokee St

Dutch Town Friendly’s 3503 Roger Pl

Downtown Crack Fox 1114 Olive St

South County Steel & Ink Studio 3561 Ritz Center

Soulard Shanti Tavern 825 Allen DB’s Sportsbar 1615 S Broadway

MOFO The Silver Ballroom 4701 Mofo Rd at Itaska Tin Hat 3157 Mofo Rd South City Lemmon’s 5800 Gravois The Wayout Club 2525 S Jefferson Ave

Laclede Landing Show Me’s 724 N 2nd St Big Daddy’s 118 Morgan St Affton Bob’s Liquor 9347 Gravois Rd

10 Mile House 9420 Gravois Rd Overland Just Bill’s 2543 Woodson Rd Priscilla’s 10210 Page Ave Central West End 34 Club 34 N Euclid Tom’s Bar & Grill 20 S Euclid The Grove Just John’s 4112 Manchester Ave The Gramophone 4243 Manchester Ave The Atomic Cowboy 4140 Manchester Ave

For a complete list of our distibution points, log on to www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

Dear Rebekah, You know, I’ve had many obsessions in my life, and one of the most surprising ones to me was when I got obsessed with having a baby.

I fell in love with some guy and got hit by a maternal urge, so we got married and decided to have a kid. We had been in a traditional vanilla monogramous relationship for over five years at that point.

I was shocked to discover that pregnancy was an elusive goal. I mean, what’s easier than throwing birth control out the window and going at it a lot? It took us two years and two rounds of Clomid, a fertility drug, to finally conceive our daughter. It got to the point where we dreaded sex and he resented me for pestering him for sperm deposits.

Since then, I’ve learned a lot, and here is my crazy recommendation for people who want to make a baby. This idea is based on several biology books I’ve read.

Humans are not naturally monogamous. You might be in love, but your bodies are tired of each other. Your husband is producing bored sperm, and your eggs are not particularly inclined to present themselves for fertilization. So here’s what you do: ADD SOME STRANGE TO YOUR LIFE. My recommendation: Figure out your peak ovulation.

If I was in a regular monogamous relationship, I would invite a nice, handsome male friend who is happy to volunteer his virility and sex appeal to the cause over for a sexy dinner. So it’s you, your husband, and this guy you’ve had a crush on for ages.

Light some candles, put on some sexy music, cook something together - seafood pasta, spicy Mexican. Drink some beers. Share a bottle of wine. Eat something chocolatey with whip cream for dessert.

After dinner, retire to the living room, where you seduce the handsome male volunteer.

The point is for your husband to see you with the other man, and for you to get turned on. So dance together, or play a makeout game, or if you’re really nice, blow him. Just make sure his sperm gets nowhere near your vagina.

This will cause you to drop an egg meant for the newcomer. Your body will be ALL ABOUT IT. Meanwhile, your husband will be super turned on and competitively aroused. He’ll start creating the right sperm for conception - FIGHTER SPERM. After you’ve had your fun with the male extra, send him on his way.

Then TAKE YOUR HUSBAND. Roleplay and orgasm are in order - pretend you are with that guy, or pretend your husband caught you being unfaithful and now he’s reclaiming you.

Pretend like you’re having a threesome and two men are having their way with you repeatedly.

The next day, replay last night to each other, talk about how hot it was when you did the strip tease for that guy as your husband stroked himself. Then get carried away and fuck again with abandon.

Talk about this with your partner and tailor to suit your comfort level - go out dancing instead. Flirt at a party. If you must, skip the part where the other guy comes over and go right to the roleplaying. SHAKE THINGS UP. Your bodies both want something different, so trick your bodies. Have your husband wear different cologne. If he’s always sweet and attentive, pretend he’s a gruff intruder. Use your imagination. Give your bodies something to get excited about. My husband was always vanilla and nice to me, but the night I conceived he was a mean jerk about it, which kind-of freaked me out, but hey, it worked.

love@thebeautifulkind.com www.thebeautifulkind.com

Got a sex, relationship, BDSM or fetish related question? Ask your local sexpert, Kendra Holliday, Writer & Editor of The Beautiful Kind, and Co-Founder of Sex Positive St. Louis.