SEVEN: Mental Health- Men's Silent War (Winter 2020) - Issue 70

MEN / GOD / LIFE WINTER 2020 / ISSUE 70 NEWSSTAND PRICE CDN $4.95

ANXIETY IS A LIAR

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE

THE LONELY MAN

OUR DESPERATE NEED FOR FRIENDS

Mental Health

MEN'S SILENT WAR

FEATURE

MAN NEVER ASSUME YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE

BY KIRK GILES

2 SEVEN WINTER 2020

I

don’t have time — I’m doing just fine on my own.

These are the words many men will tell themselves and others when it comes to their need for friendships with other men. Men who live with this sense of bravado are called a “Lone Ranger.” This idea is based on a TV show from the 1950's by the same name. The “Lone Ranger” concept came back as a movie featuring Johnny Depp in 2013. I will leave it up to you to decide which was better (hint: it wasn’t the movie).

Here’s the problem with men who want to be a Lone Ranger — even the Lone Ranger had Tonto as his friend.

FRIENDSHIPS ARE BETTER FOR YOU In the age of social media, where people seem to be more connected than ever before, it is remarkable how lonely we are.

In a recent report published by Global News, men tend to have fewer close friendships as they age. Studies show this has a direct impact on our mental health. In this same report, John Ogrodniczuk (Director of Psychotherapy at University of British Columbia) said, “Men tend to not have deep friendships in the way that many women do, which denies them the opportunity to share deeply personal and emotionally sensitive information with others. Because of this, many men can end up feeling lonely, even though they may indicate that they have friends in their lives.” He went on to further say that “loneliness is one of the most frequent stressors in men’s lives.”

Dr. Vivek Murthy wrote an article for Harvard Business Review, where he said loneliness could be “associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, depression, and anxiety.”

In the United Kingdom, loneliness has been identified as such a significant issue that in 2017, they established a Minister for Loneliness.

LEARNING FROM JESUS For those of us who do not believe we need close friendships, I want to encourage you to learn from Jesus. He surrounded Himself with men who would become His close friends. How do we know this? Well, in His most challenging moment on earth, He brought a few men with Him into the Garden to watch and pray with Him. When He was on the cross, He asked one of His friends to care for His mom after He died. These are deeply personal moments requiring a sense of trust in a few people who are close to you.

THE TRUTH ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS For most of the past two decades, I have spent my life trying to teach men to surround themselves with other men as friends. The reality is this — it's hard to find men who want to have deep friendships where you can be honest and vulnerable about your life. I have found it very challenging to find men who will take the initiative to hang out with me for no apparent reason other than to have fun together. On top of this, there is an extra layer where I know it's crucial not just to have a friend I can have fun with, but who can also keep pointing me back to Jesus. It is difficult to find men who want to invest the emotional, physical, and spiritual energy it takes to build trust, become vulnerable, have each other’s backs, and stand together.

LIFE GOES THROUGH DIFFERENT SEASONS When I was a teenager, I had plenty of friendships — or so I thought. When my life went through its darkest moments, nobody wanted to talk about it

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and quite often avoided me. It was overwhelming at times, and I had very few places to go with that pain.

In my 20’s, there were a couple of men I had strong friendships with. However, as we all had children and changed jobs, then there was a distance that naturally grew between us. It was challenging to maintain the same level of friendship with each other.

When my work responsibilities increased, I spent more time traveling. For those of you who travel a lot for work, I feel your pain. Sitting in airports and hotel rooms are some of the loneliest moments in life. When I was home, all I wanted to do was spend time with my family.

I know of other men who have faced incredible loneliness as they move to retirement and are even more isolated from people when there is no common bond of a job to do.

DON’T GIVE UP The easy thing for a man to do is give up any sense of hope in finding these types of friendships. We will tend to invest our energy in places where we feel like we are having success rather than some of the more difficult areas where we need success.

Sometimes, we have been burned by a close friend, and we don’t want to go through that kind of painful experience again. Your answer to being burned by a friend should not be to give up on all friendships.

Friends are human, and they will let you down (even Jesus discovered that). Staying in isolation is not healthy for you or for other men who are also lonely.

As difficult as it can be to find close friends, it is worth the effort. Here are some steps you can take: PRAY Take the time to ask God to send some men into your life who you can be good friends with. God cares about these things — He cares about you not being alone.

CONNECT Put yourself in different environments where you can begin to get to know some guys (or even develop friendships with other couples if you are married). This connection could be around hobbies, a small group at church, your kids’ sports environment, or a shared interest or mission.

FOR NO REASON As you begin to develop acquaintances in these environments, send a text or ask your new friend if

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he (or he and his wife) would like to get together for dinner, go for coffee, etc. The big idea is connecting for no apparent reason but to get to know each other better.

SEEK TO SERVE THEM Ask if there is anything you can be praying about for them. When they tell you something — pray for them. Follow up with them by text or phone or in-person to check in and see how it is going.

Be a good listener — let them vent if they need to. If you can, help them out by reminding them what God says about the situation. Sometimes, you may need to be the answer to their prayers by doing something to help them out. Friendships are forged when you show a commitment to serving the other person in some way.

TEST THE WATERS Talk to them about something going on in your life. Ask for their advice (do they give you godly advice, or is it something else?). Ask for them to pray for you as you work through this. Watch to see if they start to avoid you or check in on you. Listen to see if you hear about them talking about your needs with someone else. This will tell you if you have a friend you can trust or if there is a limit to how deep the friendship will go.

BE ACCESSIBLE As you build the friendship, you will reach a point where you know you are available to each other at any time. When I am at my lowest moments, I have a couple of men I know I can trust at any time of the day. Those friendships did not just happen — they were cultivated and developed over a long time. But this is a two-way street. As God brings your friend to mind, send them a text or give them a call to see if they are doing OK and let them know you appreciate them and are standing with them.

Some of the loneliest men I have ever met are some of the most well-known people I have ever met. Never assume you are the only lonely man. The only way we will break out of the loneliness cycle is when we all start pursuing the kind of friendships God wants us to have.

/ KIRK GILES is the president of Promise Keepers Canada.

However, his most important roles as a man are husband to Shannon and father to Carter, Joshua, Sydney and Samuel.

Save your seat and press into the full life at:

promisekeepers.ca *Locations may be subject to change

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 5

FEATURE

“GOD’S WORD ALWAYS WINS” USING SCRIPTURE AS A WINNING WEAPON AGAINST DEPRESSION

T

BY FRANK STIRK

im Bergmann has found a winning strategy for Bergmann is not alone. Far from it. Mental health issues overcoming bouts of depression. “I battle them with impact thousands of Canadian men — and the numbers Scripture as intensely as I can. I work hard at trying to have grown to epidemic proportions. think right thoughts,” he says.

“As men, we deal with depression more than we think “It’s like a battle going on. In one corner is the sometimes,” says Mark Vander Vennen, executive director depression — and it is a significant foe — but in the other of the Ontario-based Shalem Mental Health Network in corner is God’s Word. I quote God’s Word until the feelings of a separate PK podcast. “Depression in men can show up a depression start to abate. Sometimes this will take days. But little differently [than it does in women]. I think that has God’s Word always wins.” to do with shame. We all experience shame. How we as Just over a year ago, Bergmann became the lead pastor of men process shame is a huge thing. And sometimes in Alliance Community Church in Sylvan Lake, a town of close men, depression builds up in some of those other ways of to 15,000 people located about twenty-five kilometres west processing shame like being angry, irritable, controlling, of Red Deer in central Alberta. rather than sadness which is often how it looks in women.”

The fact that he was mentally and physically able to take on Rubbing salt in the wound, Vander Vennen adds, is they his new role testifies to the healing that he’s experienced in his often feel the manly thing to do is bottle up their suffering. life. In a 2018 podcast with Promise Keepers Canada (and an “We’re told to man-up — don’t be vulnerable, don’t show your email update), Bergmann recalls that in high school and as a weakness, that sort of thing. And that doesn’t work. It’s young man, he was “strong and energetic and charismatic” and really tough for a man to be vulnerable, because it’s often had no problem being in front of people. Then in 1989, when he not terribly socially acceptable. I think as a society, we’re all was in his early 30's, he slid for the first time into depression paying a price for that.” compounded by an anxiety disorder. And together, he says, In fact, as The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry reported they “kind of did this terrible dance together in my soul.” in 2018, men struggling with their mental health “do not “It’s pretty intense,” says Bergmann. “It feels for me like perceive the need for care, immediate support systems do a steel ball the size of a medicine ball growing inside my not identify male-specific warning signs, diagnostic criteria chest. You feel like you can hardly breathe. You think some do not detect men with mental health problems, and men dark thoughts — 'Why am I here? What’s my purpose? I’d be delay treatment until problems are too severe to ignore.” better off if I wasn’t around’ — an overwhelming sense of Instead, many try to escape their darkness through sadness and darkness and despair.” excessive drinking, substance abuse, risk-taking — such

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as extreme sports — and worst of all, committing suicide.

With horrifying results: The data shows that Canadian men are two- to three-times more likely than women to have a serious alcohol abuse problem. Over a million men suffer addiction issues. Men make up over eighty per cent of fentanyl and opioid overdose deaths. And over fifty men per week take their own lives. That’s over three-quarters of all suicides.

“Suicide in men,” according to the Journal, “has been described by a leading researcher as a ‘silent epidemic.’ It is ‘silent’ because there is low public awareness regarding the magnitude of this problem, with surprisingly little research and few preventive efforts specifically targeting male suicide.

Furthermore, men are reluctant to seek help for suicidality.

It is ‘epidemic’ because of the high incidence and because ... suicide is among the top three sources of men’s mortality.”

Vander Vennen believes many men choose isolation because they’re gripped by a fear of self-exposure. “It’s very difficult for us to come together in meaningful ways,” he says. “There’s all kinds of permission for women to really share what’s going on in their lives — and I applaud and celebrate that — but as a society we need to create spaces and platforms for men to be able to do that.”

“The key thing,” he urges men who are struggling mentally, “is to reach out to someone. Reach out to your spouse, reach out to your good friend, reach out to your pastor, reach out to a therapist—any of those. It’s okay to be vulnerable and in fact that’s the beginning of healing.”

Bergmann agrees, but he also encourages men to reach out to the nature and the promises of God as found in Scripture. “I have episodes of depression but they aren’t as dark as they once were,” he says. “I battle them with Scripture as intensely as I can. I work hard at trying to think right thoughts. ‘The joy of the Lord is my strength’ [Psalm 28:7] is a refrain I repeat often.”

What his fellow strugglers will discover, as he did, is a Father who always has his children’s best interests at heart, even when it might seem as though he’s abandoned them.

And yet if that’s how a man really feels, then he should not be afraid to be honest with God. “Christ says [in Matthew 26:38], ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.’ That is what depression

feels like. But this is the Christ who knows and understands and is with us,” says Bergmann. “Psalm 139:8 says, ‘If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.’ That’s another way I would describe depression. But he is there, he is with us.”

Meditating on what he’s personally gone through in light of Hebrews 12:1 (“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us”), Bergmann has realized that “God is careful in how he marks out the race for me. It’s unique and specific. Mine happens to have a great wife and six fantastic kids with their own issues and struggles. And it also involves kidney disease and stress and anxiety and job loss and financial ruin. This is my unique race that God has carved out for me — and it’s thoughtful. It’s not done randomly. God has said, ‘Now this is the race I want you to run.’”

Bergmann is not suggesting he looks forward to his next bout of depression. “It would be really nice if God would snap his fingers and make all this stuff go away,” he admits. “But there are incredibly beautiful things that we can experience in those dark times. If I am an orphan and have nobody on my side, then I had better claw and scrape and fight and get everything I possibly can. But Scripture says I’m adopted, I’m a child of God. And if I’m adopted, and my Father loves me, then I can trust God in the midst of all of that.”

And having found God is indeed trustworthy, Bergmann is now able to offer that hope to others facing their own mental health issues.

“What I’ve discovered as I have gone public with my suffering,” he says, “is it has freed people up to give voice to their own suffering. My identity is in Jesus so I can take big risks when it comes to self-exposing. I am grateful for what God has allowed me to go through both in how it has drawn me so close to him, but also in how he can use me to minister to others who are struggling.”

/ FRANK STIRK is a journalist living in North Vancouver, BC. He is the author of Streams in the Negev: Stories of How God is Starting to Redeem Vancouver (Urban Loft).

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 7

PK PODIUM

UNEXPECTED GRACE

FEATURES

TRUSTING GOD IN OUR ANXIETY

02 The Lonely Man

BY JEFF STEARNS

06 God’s Word Always Wins 14 Hope for Mental Health 18 A Supernatural Shift

T

here are those moments that suddenly cause us great anxiety, like losing your job or the doctor asking to talk about test results. You wonder what will happen next. Your mind starts to wander and create unpleasant scenarios. The knot grows in your stomach and your shoulders tighten. We all know the feeling.

But not all anxious moments end poorly. I have seen God use moments of crisis to create new and better things.

I didn’t like my job, but it paid the bills. So, when the company was bought out, and I found myself unemployed, I didn’t feel like good news. It felt like a new baby at home, bills to pay, wife on maternity leave, one month before Christmas moment of shock. However, it would lead me on a journey to eventually end up at Promise Keepers Canada. Here I have had the privilege to be part of a gifted team speaking into the lives of men across the country. To have a greater impact than I could have imagined.

SEVEN magazine had a similar beginning. We were distributing a magazine from the States and although I wished we had more control over the content it was ok.

Not great, but ok. Until the publisher cancelled it without warning! That moment of crisis allowed us to form a team and create a magazine tailored for our audience.

Over the years, I have seen God use moments of crisis to create

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something better — resources like our video series This Is Me TV and the daily devotional. Each time, we began by asking God what He wanted to do in our moment of need. Almost every time, the answer seemed bigger than we were and beyond what we thought we could do. Many times, we started down a road not knowing how we would accomplish the task but knowing it was the road God was directing us down. God simply wanted us to take that first step of trust in the midst of our anxiety.

After almost 14 years at Promise Keepers Canada, I am moving on to take a pastoral position in a church.

There are a lot of unknowns that lay ahead but I do know that I can trust God. He has demonstrated unexpected grace time and time again. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel nervous. It means I move forward in spite of my feelings.

As moments of change or crisis enter your life, ask God how he wants to use them for His glory. Ask Him to show you where you should go and for the strength to take the first step. You maybe surprised by the unexpected grace.

24 You’re Not Alone

COLUMNS 08 // PK Podium 28 // Sports Scene 30 // Out of My Depth 32 // No Man Is An Island 33 // Lives Worth Leading

DEPARTMENTS 10 // The Pulse 34 // Power Play 38 // Music Reviews

EDITORIAL Questions and comments regarding editorial can be sent to ssukkau@promisekeepers.ca, or mailed to Promise Keepers Canada at the address provided.

DESIGN DEVON WAGENAAR Devon J Andrew Design Inc. djadesign.ca PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA 210-3027 Harvester Road

/ JEFF STEARNS was formerly the Director of Communications for Promise Keepers Canada and now pastors Garrison Road Church in Fort Erie.

Burlington, ON L7N 3G7 (905) 331-1830 info@promisekeepers.ca

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BITS / BLIPS / BEATS / BLURBS THE LATEST NEWS FROM PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA

BITS / BLIPS / BEATS / BLURBS

RICK’S STORY — LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND

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/ THIS IS THE story of what happens when people like you live out the mission to “Leave No Man Behind.” It is the story of how people living out this mission have impacted a man who is a public figure on a journey of growing as a godly man.

Rick is a husband, a father of three sons, and a man just like any other man — he wants to know his life has made a difference. Several years ago, God led Rick to join the Promise Keepers Canada staff as the man who would oversee all the conferences we host across Canada. Along the way, Rick has had the opportunity to see men have amazing encounters with God. These encounters have transformed the lives of thousands of men in a way that only God can do.

As much as God has used him to be part of helping thousands of men across Canada, what you may not realize is how much God has used your support and Promise Keepers Canada to change Rick.

I’m not sure where I would be today if it weren’t for this ministry. Over the many years, I have grown so much in my prayer life and in my faith. Why? Because I have personally seen and heard the ongoing work of the Lord in the lives of men across Canada.

The real impact in Rick’s life has not just been in what he has witnessed but in the opportunity to have other men stand with him and help him in his spiritual journey.

There was a time several years ago when things were not going so great for me. I went through a really difficult time. I had been hiding a big secret, and it finally caught up to me. It would have been easy for those around me to distance themselves — but they didn’t.

Everyone here lives the slogan “Leave No Man Behind.” As much as we continually talk about how God works through this ministry “out there,” He also works in the lives of us who are part of this team. The godly people around me over many years — staff members, speakers, volunteers, they have all played a part in sharpening and helping me to grow as a man following Jesus.

Rick knows that just working at Promise Keepers Canada does not mean he has arrived as a godly man. He has been learning and growing in becoming the man God wants him to be.

For many years, I have had the privilege of having a front-row seat to watch God shape Rick’s life. What has been amazing to see is how God has changed Rick on the inside and the way that has affected who he is on the outside. I watch him support other men who are at their lowest points, and I see how he prays and serves with godly humility. Is he perfect? No. But he is surrendered to Jesus and wants to be led by Him every day.

All across Canada, there are millions of more men just like Rick. They attend church but are not alive in Christ. They are hiding secrets and struggling with their shame when they could be walking in freedom because of God’s grace and power. They have so much potential to be men who are having a greater impact in their families, workplaces, and communities — but they need to be called out and sharpened by God. I have said many times before — when a man is walking with Jesus, everyone wins. / KIRK GILES, President Promise Keepers Canada

FROM KIRK'S BLOG DON’T JUDGE ME. / HAVE YOU EVER had someone say, “Don’t Judge Me”? Maybe you have even said it to someone yourself. I cannot begin to tell you how many times our ministry has taught something (in writing or in person) and had someone say to us some form of this line.

I remember a conversation with someone following teaching I had done about what God has to say about sexuality. They were very upset with me and came to challenge me. In their words, “The God I serve does not judge us — He loves us.”

This is a common sentiment in our culture. Let me live my life. You’re a Christian. Just love me as I am.

But is this true? >> Continue reading at: kirkgiles.com

THIS IS ME TV

SOCIAL CLUB MISFITS: FROM PRISON TO PURPOSE / ANSWERING THE PHONE, Fern’s mother was expecting her son to wish her a happy anniversary. She wasn’t expecting him to tell her he was at the police station, under arrest for drug charges. From that gut-wrenching moment to a prison chapel service, this episode shows the overwhelming power of God’s grace. Today Fern is one half of the Christian hip hop group, Social Club Misfits, and boldly proclaims the gospel to all who will listen.

This is a story for all of us who have wondered if we matter and if we have purpose. >> Watch this episode and others at: Thisismetv.com

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PODCASTS LEAVING PORN AND FINDING LOVE WITH BRITTNI AND RICHARD

FACING FATHERLESSNESS FOR MEN WITH JONATHAN LEWIS

/ WHEN RICHARD FIRST met Brittni he had no idea she had been featured in over 300 adult films and left the industry after becoming a Christian. Brittni knew he would need to know about her past if they were to have an honest relationship but was afraid of his response. Many people struggle coming to terms with their partner's past, but this was on a different level than most.

This is the incredible story of two very brave individuals who worked through their past and are living to the fullest today. Over 50,000 people have watched our This Is Me TV episode featuring the story of Brittni and Richard. We follow up with them to see how their journey has continued.

/ WE MAY NOT even identify ourselves as fatherless, but both physical and emotional fatherlessness promote low self-worth, which also brings about unhealthy relationships. At the heart of the matter, a father helps a man answer the biggest question of all, “Dad, do I have what it takes?”

We sit down with Jonathan Lewis to talk about his story. When his father was in distress while scuba diving, Jonathan couldn’t save him, and his father drowned. “I had no strength left, and I could not get him to the surface. My lungs were full of water, and I was almost drowning myself. So, I let him go. When you let go of someone who is your whole world — how do you come back from that?”

Jonathan shares his journey through grief to healing. His realization of our sonship in Jesus and the purpose that comes from knowing God is for you.

DISRUPTIVE POWER WITH GAVIN PEACOCK

/ IN THIS LIVE recording from the Disruptive Edmonton conference, Gavin teaches about the power of prayer. He explores the hindrances that prevent us from praying, and the disciplines required to weave it into our everyday lives.

Placing prayer at the top of our activity list and then praying is one of the most disruptive, powerful things we can do.

Gavin was born in Kent, England, where he played professional soccer for 18 years. He was converted to Christ at age 18 and was used by God to bear witness to the gospel throughout his career.

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>> Find these and other podcasts at: promisekeepers.ca/podcast

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WINTER 2020 SEVEN 13

Hop FEATURE

14 SEVEN WINTER 2020

FOR MENTAL HEALTH

BY PAUL CARTER

PP Y)

Y SPIRITUALL

5

PEOPLE

IT S OF B A H

HE ALTHY (AND HA

1

ONE of the first things the Bible says about human beings is this: “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18 ESV) Human beings were designed for community. This is why the most severe form of punishment in many countries is solitary confinement.

Aloneness is dehumanizing.

It is deconstructing.

Aloneness breaks us down — but community builds us up. The Epistle to the Hebrews makes that point explicitly: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24–25 ESV) According to the Bible, Christians ought to gather together not just to be fed by the preacher, but also to stir one another up to love and good deeds. We need to make this assembling of ourselves a priority.

We need to cultivate a habit of being together — and all the more as we see the Day drawing near.

Basically the Bible says that the harder it gets out there — the more we need to gather together in here — in the church. Church is not optional. You need it. I need it.

It is not good for a man — or a woman to be alone.

Cultivate the habit of community.

COMMUNITY

pe

T

here are many factors to consider in any discussion of mental health but one of those factors has to do with the development of healthy habits. People can fall into patterns that may contribute to a decline in their physical or mental health.

They can also cultivate patterns and habits that contribute to physical and mental wellbeing. Among the most important of those habits would be these:

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OBEDIENCE

16 SEVEN WINTER 2020

3

BECAUSE no one is perfect, and because all people have a conscience, happy people also cultivate the habit of confession.

David initially tried to hide his adulterous affair with Bathsheba — but it began to literally destroy him from the inside out. He said: “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” (Psalm 32:3 ESV) So David did what wise and happy people do.

“I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

(Psalm 32:5 ESV) Sin is bad for the soul.

It is like poison in a well.

You have to get rid of it — and according to the Bible, there is only one way to do that. The Apostle John said: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 ESV) God did not design you with the capacity to overlook your own sin. You won’t be able to forget it. You won’t be able to move on. Sin and you will never co-exist. If you don’t deal with it, it will destroy you.

But thankfully, God loves you and he made a way for your sin to be obliterated. John put it this way: “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

(1 John 4:10 ESV) “Propitiation” means a sacrifice that satisfies. According to the Bible, God loved you enough to pay for your sins in the body of Jesus Christ upon the cross.

That’s why John could say that if you confess your sins in Jesus’ name — in faith because of what Jesus did — God would be faithful and just to forgive your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness.

Happy people take full and immediate advantage of that reality because guilt is destructive to the human soul.

CONFESSION

2

ACCORDING to the Bible the laws and commandments of God are intended to help us live a happy and fruitful life. Moses gave the law to the people of Israel and told them: “Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the LORD your God is giving you for all time.” (Deuteronomy 4:40 ESV) The history of Israel powerfully illustrates the truth that obedience is wise and leads to human flourishing. It also powerfully illustrates the opposite truth, that disobedience leads to loss, frustration and disappointment.

Having reviewed that history, the wise man of the Old Testament offers his simple and straightforward conclusion: “Happy is he who keeps the law.” (Proverbs 29:18 NKJV) The law is like an instruction manual for life. It shows us how to love God and how to live with one another. The moral laws are somewhat analogous to the physical laws of nature. A person is free to disregard the law of gravity but doing so often leads to very unpleasant consequences.

Likewise in the spiritual realm.

Many people are depressed and unhappy because they are attempting to live in ways that contradict the design and intention of God. Toasters are good, but they don’t work very well as bath warmers. Sometimes happiness is a simple matter of reading and following the instructions.

Obedience is an expression of the basic belief that God is the Creator and Designer of the universe. He knows us and he loves us and therefore his counsel and commandments can be trusted.

WORSHIP

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HUMAN beings were designed to receive and respond. Therefore the whole spiritual ecosystem breaks down the moment we give in to the sin of ingratitude. Ingratitude, according to the Bible, is the main intersection between spiritual life and death. In Romans 1 the Apostle Paul says: “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.” (Romans 1:21 ESV) Spiritual rebellion begins with ingratitude.

Spiritual wandering begins with ingratitude.

Spiritual ignorance begins with ingratitude.

Spiritual deception begins with ingratitude.

The moment we begin to think of God as being less good and less generous than He is we begin our journey into the dark. The moment we begin to think of ourselves as being entitled to more than we have received we take our first step into apostasy.

Wise people turn the other way.

Wise people — happy people — cultivate daily habits of thankfulness and gratitude. They remember who they are and they remember what they have and they remember to acknowledge the Source.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV) This is wisdom!

This is therapy!

This is free!

And this is the Word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God!

THANKFULNESS

4

NOT all, but a great deal of depression is circumstantial. Human beings can be pressed down and even crushed by the sheer weight of tragedy, illness, frustration and loss.

The Apostle Paul was well acquainted with suffering, and yet, he wrote to the Corinthians saying: “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8–9 ESV) How was Paul able to endure such circumstances without being driven to despair?

He tells us the secret just a few verses later: “We do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16–18 ESV) Paul learned the importance of looking up.

If we look down at our feet — if we are obsessed with our hardships and circumstances – then we will surely succumb to despair. But if we look up — if we see who God is and if we recall what he has given to us in Christ — then we will persevere. We will overcome. And we will experience joy.

It all depends on the direction and tilt of your head.

David sang about this in Psalm 3: “But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.” (Psalm 3:3 ESV) Whenever David was depressed he went into the house of the Lord and God graciously lifted his head.

Spiritually healthy and happy people cultivate the habit of worship.

/ To listen to Pastor Paul’s Into The Word devotional podcast visit the TGC Canada website; you can also find it on iTunes.

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 17

FEATURE

USE ANXIETY TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

BY VINCE MILLER

A

nxiety is the most predominant form of mental illness in our country, plaguing both young and old, showing up as post-traumatic stress syndrome, obsessive compulsive disorder, even phobias and generalized anxiety disorder.

We all struggle from time to time, whether as a way of life or due to particular circumstances beyond our control.

It brings about physical reactions like shaking, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, sweating, frustration, and anger. Even depression can be linked to a series of anxieties we experience in life.

Culturally, we are a nervous wreck, and no one is immune to it.

JESUS HEALS ANXIOUS HEARTS My struggle with anxiety started early. As a child, I experienced vivid dreams that made my heart race. Even thinking of them today brings on certain emotions. The night terrors came on suddenly and without escape. I was trapped for half an hour after waking, held captive in terror.

Eventually, a counselor helped me to break free from those dreams. But as an adult, anxiety returned in the form of insomnia. Some nights I wake up completely drenched in sweat. An average night’s sleep for me is about four hours. I wake up at two, three, four in the morning and never go back to sleep.

Over the last twenty years, I’ve read Matthew 6:25–34 hundreds of times, as I have not only wrestled with the anxiety, but also with embarrassment and shame for having

18 SEVEN WINTER 2020

the struggle in the first place. There, I discovered that Jesus cares about our anxious hearts. And he teaches us how to direct our minds and hearts in order to please God.

JESUS SHIFTS OUR FOCUS Understanding the fears bedded deep within mankind, Jesus starts the discussion with a bold command, then adds reasoning we can all grasp.

“Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

(Matthew 6:25–26) Look up. There are five hundred million hungry birds flying around. They don’t sow, reap, or gather into barns and yet your Father in heaven knows their need and feeds every single one of them. If God feeds animals, essentially his pets, will he not feed you?

You, whom God created in his image. You, whom he designed to be unique from the creatures of this earth.

You, whom he has placed his Spirit within. Look up and remember that he cares for you and will provide for you.

God designed you, knows you, and wants to guide you into a fruitful and productive life.

Jesus shifts our focus to the “more” in life — what our hearts crave. There is a different kind of life we experience in fellowship with our Creator that is supernatural. That’s where our lives become more than “food and clothing.”

“Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (Matthew 6:27). The minutes, hours, days, or even years we expend being anxious amount to wasted, stolen time. Concerns about natural things regarding our bodies, health, retirement funds, the imminent political race, and ISIS are matters for God. He will be concerned about them because he cares for you, and wants to guide you into living a fruitful and productive life.

WHAT OUR WORRY SAYS ABOUT GOD In Matthew 6:30, after continuing to prove the care and love of God, Jesus calls out our anxiety by saying, “O you of little faith.” The hard truth is that when we are anxious, we demonstrate a lack of faith. We don’t trust God and instead take control, somehow believing we can take better care of our lives than God. It’s as if we say to the Creator of the universe, “I don’t need you, because I have to figure this out.” Then our hearts and minds circle and spin like hamsters on a treadmill. But we are worth more. Even when the situation seems unbearable, we can trust God. We can go to him with our worries, even when our hearts feel unsettled about our marriages, children, jobs, retirement, health care, and so on. Even when we doubt, we can acknowledge our sin. Faith turns to God and accepts what’s been given, asking him to use whatever circumstance we encounter for his good and glory, and to refine us into his image.

PRACTICE THE SHIFT Then, near the end of the passage, Jesus calls us to change

our hearts by shifting focus. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). He tells us to move our minds from the worries of this life to issues of greater importance, to shift our focus to eternal values.

Breathe. Trust. Transfer your anxiety to God and place your concern where it belongs: on the things of God. It is difficult to practice, but this is the road to supernatural living. When the mind is focused on what God is concerned about, anxieties dissipate, and God provides us with what we need.

I used to hate being an anxious person. Now I don’t mind it as much because in those moments when I wake at two or three o’clock in the morning in a cold sweat, my mind racing, concerns of money, the future, those who depend on me overflowing, I roll off my bed and onto my knees in prayer. I practice this shift every time my anxiety strikes. I ask God to transition my anxieties from the things of this world into the things that God is concerned about.

And there in those moments I fight the war that God has called me to fight as a man of God.

/ VINCE MILLER founded the men’s discipleship and leadership ministry Resolute. He produces podcasts, videos, and small group content exclusively for men, and is the author of The Generous Life. He lives with his wife, Christina, and their three children in St. Paul, Minnesota.

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 19

20 SEVEN WINTER 2020

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 21

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WINTER 2020 SEVEN 23

FEATURE

NO

24 SEVEN WINTER 2020

YOU’RE

OT ALONE ANXIETY IS JUST A LIAR

BY ADAM WEBER

THERE ARE MANY things that make people (including me!) anxious and afraid.

Some things that didn’t surprise me: Heights, spiders, snakes, going to the dentist (side note: dentists are some of the nicest people I know!).

But then there were other things that make people anxious that did surprise me: Like one of the top 10 fears people have is dogs. Who knew? Also, elevators (I love elevators!). And public speaking.

I knew people didn’t like public speaking, but a few surveys revealed that public speaking was found to be a more pressing concern than death.

Translation: people are more afraid of doing what I do for a living (speaking on Sundays as a pastor) than dying. That’s wild.

So, these are a few of the funny things that people are anxious and afraid of, but I also want to share some stats that aren’t so funny: • One in four Canadians will have at least one anxiety disorder in their lifetime.

• More than 1 in 5 Americans are currently on medication for anxiety or depression.

• Almost 49% of Canadians who feel they have suffered from depression or anxiety have never seen a doctor about this problem.

• Over 25% of students between 13 and 18 struggle with an anxiety disorder of some kind.

• More than half of all college students have sought out help with issues around anxiety.

• Often connected with anxiety is suicide, and in 2017 alone 4,157 Canadians died by suicide.

Crazy, right?

Those stats are powerful, illustrating what

anxiety can look like statistically, but what does anxiety actually feel like?

For me, anxiety feels like restlessness. My heart starts racing. I’ll start physically pacing around the house or room I’m in. I’ll struggle to sleep at night.

I’ll start thinking about one thing, and minutes later I’ll find myself thinking about the absolute worst-case scenario.

When I’m just a little anxious I’ll bite my nails, and when I’m struggling a lot it almost feels like I can’t breathe.

Some people get light-headed or struggle with headaches. Others just worry and worry and worry to the point of becoming physically sick. While for other people anxiety is all-consuming. It’s paralyzing. It feels like you’re on a different planet.

You don’t want to leave your house. You don’t want to even leave your bed.

That’s an idea of what anxiety feels like, but an important question to ask around anxiety is what are we actually anxious about?

What is actually causing our anxiety? What is at the centre, what is the basis of our anxiety and fear?

Often when we get anxious, we feel like the world is coming to an end. But when we begin to name things it brings clarity and we can start to attack that anxiety. Again, we can be anxious about anything. We can even be anxious about being anxious! I’ve got my stuff, but what is it for you?

There are a ton of things that could make us anxious, but here are five common things that I think we can all agree have the power to take a little worry and turn it into anxiety, fast.

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 25

MONEY

PEOPLE

It’s kind of crazy to think about, but it doesn’t matter how much money you have, you still worry about it! It’s all relative, whether you have a lot of money or none — money makes us anxious.

A huge source of our anxiety and fear is people, other people!

• • • • •

Will we have enough money?

How am I gonna pay these bills?

I don’t have a big house like my friends.

I don’t have a nice car.

Do people like me because I have money?

Money, it makes us anxious and afraid.

FAILURE Second, we’re often anxious and afraid of failure!

• Failing as a parent. I don’t want to screw up my kids.

• Failing at a job. My worth comes from what I do.

• Failing as a follower of Jesus. I’ve just messed up so many times.

The fear of failure, it paralyzes us. Convincing us that we’re a failure. Convincing us to never try anything.

Failure, even the thought of failure, makes us anxious.

DEATH

• Anxious of being rejected.

• Afraid of having others gossip about you.

• Anxious that you won’t be enough, good enough, cool enough, for another person to like or love you.

I’m a grown man, yet I never cease to be amazed by the crazy things that I’ll say or do just to be liked and accepted by others! Just to fit in. Just to belong.

We go through our days consumed by what others think of us and it makes us anxious and afraid.

THE FUTURE Lastly, the fifth thing that often makes us anxious and afraid is the future.

• • • •

And isn’t that what anxiety does? It makes us focus on what might happen, and what could take place, and what if. It’s like what might happen in the future hurts our ability to live today! …

A third thing that often makes us anxious and afraid is death.

• Anxious about having a miscarriage.

• Anxious about our kids getting sick.

• Worrying about the death of a friend or our spouse.

• Worrying about our own death or the death of a parent.

So many of us right now have loved ones with cancer, and there’s just this constant fear of are they going to die?

Just being honest, I get anxious about my parents’ health all the time! When I get a call from them at a strange time, I’m always worried that one of them is in the hospital, and more than that, has one of them died?

Is anyone else anxious about death?

26 SEVEN WINTER 2020

Afraid of what might happen.

Of what could take place.

Of what tomorrow might bring.

Of next week, next month, and next year.

So those are a few things that can cause us to be anxious, but now I want to look at what God says about anxiety.

Where anxiety says that no one is beside you, God says I am.

• • • • •

Anxiety says that you’re alone.

That no one is with you.

You’re crazy! No one can relate.

No one can understand you.

No one is by your side.

To be clear: anxiety is a liar! It lies!

When I’m anxious, this is one of the biggest lies I believe: that I’m completely alone.

But thankfully for all of us, God steps in, and He says that’s not true.

IT MIGHT FEEL LIKE YOU’RE FIGHTING BY YOURSELF, BUT I’M FIGHTING WITH YOU! • • • • •

That’s a lie, I’m with you!

I’m beside you.

I’m near you.

I see you.

I’m here right now, and I still love you.

• It might feel like you’re fighting by yourself, but I’m fighting with you!

• When you have no fight left, I’m fighting for you.

Regardless of what you think and feel, the truth is, God has never left our side. He’s not up in the clouds. He’s not way out there. It’s not just a warm and fuzzy feeling, He is with us. And He carries us throughout the day.

Again, anxiety says that no one is beside you, God says I am.

But then, one step further get this: where is this true? God’s not just with us in a dark valley. He’s with us in the darkest valley.

Has anyone ever been in the darkest valley before? God says, even then, I’m here.

Thinking about money, have you ever been in the darkest valley?

Maybe you’re covered in credit card debt. God says, I’m here.

Failure? Even in the darkest valley?

Death? Maybe the worst did happen!

Your loved one did die. Even there?

With people, someone did stab you in the back. Your spouse left. Someone did gossip about you. They spread lies.

With the future, when it feels like you have no future!

God says, even then. Not just in a dark valley, but in the darkest valley, I am beside you.

In your darkest struggle.

Your darkest anxiety.

The time you thought about killing yourself.

When you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

One more time, anxiety says that no one is beside you. God says, I am.

Where? Not just in a valley, but in the darkest valley. …

This week or even today, when you’re anxious, when you’re afraid, you might feel all alone, but it’s not true. In these moments hold on to what is true: Anxiety is a liar, and God is with you.

Maybe you need to write down these two things and carry them with you.

In your darkest moments, maybe you need to read them over and over again.

Tattoo it on your arm!

Tell Satan he’s a liar!

But most of all, cling to Jesus, knowing he’s by your side.

Anxiety is a liar, God is beside you.

Not just in a dark valley, but in the darkest valley!

For a few more practical resources and steps to battle anxiety and depression, go to iamembrace.com/hope

/ ADAM WEBER is the Founder and Lead Pastor of Embrace, a church that has six campuses in two states. He likes typewriters, drives a Rambler, cheers for the Cincinnati Bengals, and has four chickens and a dog named Daisy.

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 27

SPORTS SCENE

GREY CUP CHAMPIONS

MENTAL TOUGHNESS IS GOOD, SPIRITUAL TOUGHNESS IS GREAT

BY CARTER BROOKS

F

or the first time in 29 years, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers are Canadian Football League champions. Despite battling much adversity all season long, the Bombers — led by all-star running back and local Winnipeg product Andrew Harris — overcame two notable quarterback injuries and a

28 SEVEN WINTER 2020

near-impossible, road-heavy playoff most important aspect to where your schedule, ending the drought for focus is. Mental toughness is good, long-suffering fans of the Blue and but spiritual toughness is great.”

Gold in Manitoba’s capital.

Prior to winning the 107th Grey Harris — who became the first Cup, Nevis was named the 2019 player ever to earn both the Grey recipient of the Athletes in Action Cup MVP and the Most Outstanding Gord Barwell Award, given annually Canadian awards — called it “an to the player who best exhibits ultimate team win”. Head Coach Mike exemplary Christian conduct and O’Shea spoke proudly of the Blue godly leadership on and off the field, Bomber fans in his Grey Cup Parade as voted upon by the Athletes in speech. While team Action team chaplains.

Chaplain Lorne Korol “WE HAD A STRONG “Drake does such a said that it was an good job for our football BIBLE STUDY honour and a blessing club,” Korol said. “Taking GROUP AND STRONG just to be around such on the role of Chapel LEADERSHIP, WHICH Leader is no simple a “phenomenal group of people”. task. And winning that HELPED US GET “This is, by far, the Barwell Award as the top WHERE WE DID AND most special group Christian athlete… it was KEPT US MENTALLY of players I have ever just so well deserved. So been a part of,” Korol many people contributed FOCUSED.” said. “A word that to that award, including comes to mind for me is ‘family’. We Drake’s wife Reese, who leads our are a very close-knit team. And I truly wives’ Bible study every second think that stems from our Bible study week, as the girls behind the men group; it is a strong fellowship. It was in the masks. We have a significant a real special group. That transcended opportunity to do good with the across the team, as we had some largest platform we have in Canadian real prominent members that were football. I was really impressed with involved with the team taking part in Drake and the guys.” our sessions.”

“It is a tremendous feeling, but I also One such player was 30-year-old understand that it’s a responsibility defensive tackle Drake Nevis. Now in to pass the message and do right by his third year with the team, the six- other people,” Nevis reflected. “It’s a foot, 300-pound product of LSU was great blessing, but with every blessing instrumental in helping create and comes much responsibility. It would nurture that relational bond between take a long time to list out all the guys the many members of both the who come out and show up for Bible offence and defence as the Bombers’ study; we know we had a really special Chapel Leader. group. It wasn’t just our own strength, “It was certainly a journey, and we had the Father backing us up. we couldn’t have accomplished what Nothing was automatic. We had to we did without great focus and great earn it with great focus, and that came leadership,” said Nevis, who recorded from us being focused both on and off one tackle and one sack for seven the field.” yards in the Grey Cup. “We had a “Winning the Grey Cup was a strong Bible study group and strong bigtime faith encourager, especially leadership, which helped us get where considering what the team had been we did and kept us mentally focused. through with injuries this year,” Christian leadership helps bring that Nevis continued. “Personally, it

was amazing for me and my wife.

We continue to trust God because He never let us down. It came at a crucial time to where we wanted to show people that as long as you stay focused, it can be a faith encourager for us to keep going. Now we have something to show people. He does honour your faithfulness. He doesn’t forget the time you spent trying to please him. It was a great honour.”

For many, winning the game’s greatest prize is met with much partying and wild celebration. By no means did Nevis avoid participating in the festivities surrounding the championship parade and celebration.

However, he wasn’t about to let his new title of ‘Grey Cup champion’ get in the way of his regularly scheduled activity — helping out at a local downtown ministry, Love Lives Here.

Following the multi-hour parade through Winnipeg’s core, Nevis and his wife Reese made their way down to 150 Henry Street to hand out trays of leftover food from the Blue Bombers’ parade. With their Canadian Work Visas set to expire immediately following the completion of the 2019 CFL season, the two active volunteers were able to fit in one last visit before heading back south for the winter.

“That’s just the way they are,” Korol said. “When my wife Heather and I saw that story in the news, we just kind of said, ‘why should that surprise us?’. We have just been really blessed to have them on our team. That is just the kind of people that they are.”

/ CARTER BROOKS is a news writer and sports columnist situated in Winnipeg, Manitoba. On top of reading and writing, coaching hockey is his favourite pastime. Carter can be reached at carterbrooks1994@gmail.com.

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 29

OUT OF MY DEPTH

"I CAN'T TELL ANYONE"

IT'S TIME MEN LEARNED TO BE VULNERABLE

BY GUEST COLUMNIST MARC BRULE

“BELOVED, I PRAY THAT ALL MAY GO WELL WITH YOU AND THAT YOU MAY BE IN GOOD HEALTH, AS IT GOES WELL WITH YOUR SOUL.” —3 JOHN 2 (ESV)

T

he topic of mental health is one we guys like to avoid.

There’s a taboo attached to it.

Our dedication to portraying strength leads us to ignore and even deny the topic. Suck it up, buttercup. Pull up your socks and move on. Don’t be a wuss.

Here’s the thing: ignoring a torn ligament will not restore the athlete’s performance. Recognition and treatment will. We need the same view regarding the state of our souls.

I personally experienced burnout and depression in 2015. After 31 years of pastoring, I found myself at a breaking point. What were my thoughts?

“I can’t tell anyone. People will see me as damaged goods. They won’t respect me or see me in the same way.

I have to suppress this.”

On and on these thoughts dominated me as I was slowly losing control of my own life. Things were generally going well. The church was healthy. But my soul was not getting along well and I could not enjoy life because of it.

I ended up taking an extended leave of absence while I underwent the process of rest and recovery. Did I need to wait until I reached this point?

No. No way! Fear, shame, a sense of

30 SEVEN WINTER 2020

failure — these were the things that held me back from what I really needed.

How many of us suffer in silence because we believe these lies: • I can fix this • I can’t tell anyone because…

• Jesus & me — that’s enough We were not meant to do life alone.

Yet we isolate ourselves where it matters most.

I discovered something profoundly helpful: Vulnerability is strength, not weakness. It takes greater courage to be vulnerable than it does to hide.

Making myself vulnerable to the right people positioned me for healing and restoration. It was the mercy of God and the support of people that brought me out of my dark places.

You may have a close friend, a pastor, a spouse, that you trust deeply. Yet you may still be hiding the torment of your soul because you fear judgment or rejection. If these are not the ones you feel safest to talk to, seek out a Christian counsellor or therapist. They can at least get you pointed in the right direction. By the way, that’s what I did. I was afraid to talk to anyone close to me at first.

But know this: chances are those around you already know your soul’s condition. It comes out in your attitudes, your words and your behaviours.

GETTING HEALTHY & STAYING HEALTHY "Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept

blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

1 Thessalonians 5:23 (ESV) Our lives are an intertwining of spirit, soul, and body. They are interconnect and affect each other.

You can’t get up in the morning and go to work, leaving your soul behind because you only need your body for physical labour!

Have you noticed that when you are sick with a cold, your concentration is lessened? Your patience is reduced?

Have you noticed that when your devotional time with God is reduced you have less power to resist ungodly thoughts? There is no denying that one aspect of our lives affects the others.

It is therefore vital that we take a holistic approach to our health.

MANAGE ENERGY INSTEAD OF TIME We’ve learned so much about time management and how to get the most out of our time. This has sometime resulted in putting so much energy into our time that we deplete ourselves and as a result become exhausted in some way.

There are four categories of energy: physical, emotional, social, and spiritual. The mental energy is the result of the management of the other four. In general, if you allow any of these areas to be depleted, you will first ‘borrow’ from the others and deplete them. Finally, when the tanks are empty, you crash. These principles apply to all of us for general well being.

If there are medical/physiological problems, they need to be treated specifically and differently.

Let’s break down these four areas and what we can do to manage them well.

PHYSICAL ENERGY REST We were made for it. Even Jesus took time to rest. Think of it, he slept through a storm in a small boat! He must have been tired. If we don’t get adequate rest, which includes sleep and down time, our bodies become taxed and stressed. We will slowly drain.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY Many of us have jobs that require little physical activity. Our hearts can’t remember the last time they were in aerobic

mode! A sedentary lifestyle is a major contributor to a variety of illnesses. I began my recovery by simply walking 15-30 minutes/day. Physical activity is directly linked with mental clarity and concentration. It also contributes to a general sense of well-being — not counting that first time you exert and hurt for it!

EMOTIONAL ENERGY Emotional energy is about your capacity to handle your and others’ emotions.

How drained do you feel when dealing with others at an emotional level? How drained are you while dealing with your own emotions? Emotions are not evil in and of themselves. But they can take a toll on you when you overextend or when you believe the lies that can accompany them.

Forgiveness and thankfulness are also keys to your emotional health and energy.

SPIRITUAL ENERGY Spiritual energy is the measure of the condition of your relationship with God. So ask yourself: “Is my heart full?” “How am I at resisting temptation?” “How well equipped am I to pray for and minister to other people?” “Have I spent time with God in prayer and devotions?” These are the spiritual gauges.

Managing these four areas well will help you move into and stay in a healthy place. Make decisions and set boundaries for each area. Learn to say no when necessary. Partner with someone to establish new habits.

MEDICAL ISSUES There is still a degree of stigma attached around mental illness. We carry the thought that if we have faith in Jesus, we shouldn’t need medications to deal with mental illness. Would you shame someone for needing insulin or thyroid medications? Of course not.

Sometimes the mental and emotional challenges we have can be caused or exacerbated by physiological issues such as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Don’t bear the shame for seeing a doctor and exploring this possibility.

Breaking addiction requires work, support, and the grace of God, but it is vital to your wholeness.

Break out of the shame game and get honest — with God, with yourself, and with those you trust. Freedom and wholeness await.

I pray that things would go well with you and that you would be in good health, even as your soul is getting along well.

/ MARC BRULÉ is a native of Welland.

He has been the Pastor of WellSpring Community Church since 1986.

He is a national director of the Canadian Fellowship of Churches and Ministers, a ministry organization dedicated to healthy ministry relationships and seeing Canada filled with the good news about Jesus Christ. He also sits as a director on the board of Promise Keepers Canada.

Marc and his wife, Wendy, have been married since 1985 and have three children: Amy, Jonathan, and Adam.

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 31

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

A STRUGGLE OF FAITH

WALKING THE HARD ROAD OF MENTAL ILLNESS

BY MIKE WOODARD

O

ur son asked if he could sleep on the floor in our bedroom. When I asked “Why?” he said, “I’m afraid.” Our son was 38 years old. Earlier that day he had suggested I change the locks on the doors because of anxiety about our neighbours, despite this being the neighbourhood where we have lived and built friendships for over 20 years. That night he did sleep on our bedroom floor, at least until the moment he got up and took an overdose of medication. A trip to Emergency that night led to an extended stay in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital.

The first signs of mental health issues appeared in our son’s life during his early 20’s. He was working and going to university and one day he shared about his suspicion that his co-workers were talking about him. A few days later he quit that job. He quickly landed a new job but soon became convinced that his new colleagues were also talking about him. Then he began believing that his sister and I were secretly talking about him. This growing paranoia led to his first stay in the hospital.

Mental illness has been a difficult journey and one we didn’t see coming.

Our son was identified as a gifted student in middle school, seemed to have been blessed with the abilities that would make for a promising future: smart, a great sense of humor, kind and compassionate heart, strong and healthy body. But the promising future we envisioned faded like a fleeting mirage with each cycle of mental health crisis.

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This is not the narrative we would have chosen. We also know that this journey is not unique to our family. In fact, the National Institute of Mental Health states that 1 in 5 Canadians will experience a mental health problem or illness this year. The research indicates that mental illness will touch the life of every Canadian at some time through a family member, friend or colleague.

This is a very real and often difficult road for many of us.

Walking this road has required us to release our expectations and embrace a new set of hopes for the future. Like every parent, I long to see my children succeed, which makes this journey a struggle laced with frustration for me. But I am not the one with the greatest struggle. I have come to understand that what I consider simple to be normal, day-to-day tasks are overwhelming to my son. Walking into a crowd or into a classroom of strangers is a huge undertaking and many times it is simply impossible for him.

Consistent employment, maintaining friendships outside our family and any kind of romance seem a distant hope to both of us.

It has been a journey of sadness.

We’ve had to release our vision of a happy, successful son married with kids and the joys of “normal” life. In releasing that dream, we have come to understand that our sadness is connected to our definitions of success. We are learning to embrace a new definition of what success might look like for him. Our son’s normal, successful and content station in life will

be a very different reality than what we once envisioned. This fresh perspective allows us to hope again.

This journey has also been a struggle of faith. There have been moments of despair, where the hope of healing and recovery vanishes, fleeting. I have prayed and fasted, seeking God’s touch in my son’s life. Surely God can heal him, but He hasn’t.

There was a moment in the midst of all my struggles when I heard, “Be still and know that I am God.” I became convinced that the next steps toward a spiritual breakthrough would begin with embracing God’s goodness and thanking Him. I was challenged with the command to “give thanks in all things.”

I took this step of faith and began to thank God that He loves my son even more than I do and that He is working and will continue to work in the circumstances of our lives. It has been a significant breakthrough. I still have longings and struggles, but bringing them to God and acknowledging His love and goodness with thankfulness causes me to anticipate seeing His touch in the days ahead.

/ MIKE WOODARD is the Associate Director of FamilyLife Canada. He is an author, outdoor enthusiast, cyclist and an adventurer at heart. Bungee-jumping, sky-diving and cycling across Canada have been checked off his list. Married since 1978, Mike and Karen have 4 adult children, and two grandsons.

LIVES WORTH LEADING

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

LEARNING TO RISE AGAIN WHEN LIFE OVERPOWERS US

BY COLIN MCCARTNEY

E

lijah experienced a major mental health crisis. In 1 Kings 19 we read that he told God to let him die because he had enough.

Elijah was public enemy number one, a political agitator King Ahab declared as being the “biggest troublemaker in Israel” (1 Kings 18:17). He survived three years of drought and famine, spent years hiding in the desert and, right before his mental breakdown, killed 450 prophets of Baal. After walking a day in the desert, he laid down under a tree to die. His words say it all; “I have had enough, Lord.”

(1 Kings 19:4).

I understand this as I too have experienced a similar breakdown. By God’s grace my days of depression only lasted about a week but it provided insight into what so many people experience for longer periods of time. I had been running hard doing urban ministry in tough government housing neighbourhoods and gone through the murder of a beloved youth who served with me, dealt with a horrible tragedy in which a young child drowned and then went through my own trial in which I broke my neck hoping to walk again. All of this (and there were more) took place within a six month time span and I; “had enough”.

I remember waking up one morning crying my eyes out in my dark room unable to summon the energy to get out of bed, to open my blinds to sunlight, to start my day.

This continued for six long days of deep depression. My emotional

MY EMOTIONAL tank was dry and I was tends to reveal what is TANK WAS DRY AND unable to muster any happening inside of us.

I WAS UNABLE TO hope for my life and As you try to hear God in future. It was a dark, silence thoughts, fears, MUSTER ANY HOPE dark time. worries and stressors FOR MY LIFE AND “I have had enough!” reveal themselves to you FUTURE. This state of mental as obstacles blocking breakdown can happen you from hearing God. to any of us at any time. Having gone This is actually a good thing as the through it myself I cannot help but Spirit is revealing to you all the things feel for my brothers and sisters in the controlling your soul and now you midst of this kind of depression. No have the opportunity to look them judging permitted here as it is not a straight in the eye and give them over sin to feel depressed. It is the result to God. of life overpowering us to the point Finally, to remain mentally healthy where we have had enough and we we need others around us. We need to finally breakdown. be involved in helping others. When Though we cannot judge those we serve others it truly is medicine suffering mental health issues we can to our souls. However, we also need take preventative measures to help to have good friends who we do life us before a mental breakdown occurs. together. By caring for each other The first thing we must do is to learn and feeling safe to be vulnerable to be self-aware of what is happening with those we love, we receive grace in our souls. from our community who lovingly Generally speaking, this is very are able to detect troublesome things hard for men as we tend to lose touch affecting our wellbeing. Remember, with our emotional side so we need you were never intended to walk the to practice the art of listening and road of life alone. God and others observing how we are reacting to walk with you. life. What are your emotions telling you about the state of your soul? Are you losing your patience quicker than usual? Are you easily succumbing / COLIN MCCARTNEY is an ordained to fits of rage? These are two major minister, speaker, and a bestselling indicators that reveal much about author. He is also the founder of your emotional health.

UrbanPromise Toronto and now leads A second thing we need to do is to Connect Ministries in Toronto where he, block off at least 15 minutes a day to his wife Judith, and their two children spend time in contemplative prayer. reside. For information in booking Colin What happens when we do this type as a speaker, please visit of listening prayer is that the silence connectministries.org.

WINTER 2020 SEVEN 33

POWER PLAY

TOYS / TOOLS / TECHNOLOGY FROM HERE TO THERE AND FUN ALONG THE WAY

BY SANDY MCMURRAY

SEGWAY VILLAIN ATV

// powersports.segway.com When you hear the word Segway, you probably think of the nerdy two wheel platform vehicle. Look again! Segway has just announced an expansion into the Powersports market, with three new vehicles: a single passenger ATV (all-terrain vehicle), a stronger, heavier UTV (utility task vehicle), and a two passenger SXS (side-by-side).

Riding on a four-wheel independent suspension and powered by an all-new hybrid powertrain, the Segway Villain delivers up to 181 horsepower to the rear wheels, making it one of the most powerful vehicles in its segment. Segway also has the Snarler ATV and Fugleman UTV with engine sizes from 570cc to 1000cc.

This is a new product line, with prices and some details still TBA. If their previous products are any indication, we can at least expect they won't tip over.

Find out more at powersports.segway.com

34 SEVEN WINTER 2020

MAGNETIC WRISTBAND

// amazon.ca If you have ever found yourself standing on a ladder, looking down at something you dropped, you will instantly appreciate the MagnoGrip magnetic wristband. Designed to keep small tools nearby while you work, it's ideal for holding screws, nails, and other metal bits, so you don't have to.

Crafted from durable ballistic polyester and embedded with powerful magnets, MagnoGrip’s magnetic wristband helps you get the job done faster and with less frustration.

DIY crafter or professional worker, everyone can use an extra helping hand. The MagnoGrip wristband sells for about $20.

HOT LIPS FACE WARMER

// pranko.com Jack Frost nipping at your nose? Not any more, thanks to the Hot Lips Face Warmer.

No, it's not real. Hot Lips is a fake gift from Prank-O. The company sells empty boxes with ridiculous products on the outside. The idea is to put your real gift inside the fake box. You try not to laugh when the victim struggles to tell you how much they like your, um, wonderful gift.

Pranko gift boxes sell for $7 plus shipping.

AIRPODS PRO GOLD

// caviar.global First came the earbuds, free with every iPhone. Then Apple removed the wires and gave us Airpods. The next generation of AirPods came with a wireless charging case. But they didn't stop there. For another $100 or so you can upgrade to Airpods Pro, with Active Noise Cancellation for immersive sound, and Transparency mode so you can hear your surroundings.

Why stop there? If you want AirPods that scream, "I have too much money", check out luxury brand Caviar. Their custom AirPods have bodies and a case made of gold. The price tag? Just US $67,000.

GOLDEN TEE HOME GAME

// home.goldentee.com As seen in arcades and restaurants for three decades, Golden Tee Home Edition brings the game to you. Connect to any flat-screen television to explore more than 80 golf courses from all around the world.

Golden Tee Home Edition comes with a new campaign feature where you can challenge PGA Tour legend John Daly, and the option to go online to access exclusive courses and content and to monitor your stats.

The Golden Tee Showpiece Cabinet goes for about US$4,000. TV not included.

SCRIBIT

// scribit.design In the early days of computer technology, when mainframes ruled and portable computers were room-sized, we had something called a plotter printer. You entered a program and it would draw for you, moving back and forth, up and down, drawing your design very slowly by dropping and lifting a pen as it moved.

Scribit is a modern version that does much the same thing, except it goes faster, has more colours, and it draws on walls. Scribit works on a two-axis plane, moving up and down two very discrete wires hanging off a vertical wall. It can place itself at any point with great precision and uses markers to reproduce content.

Setup is easy. Hammer two nails into the wall, attach Scribit to the wires, and plug it in. After that, the wall becomes a canvas, shaped a bit like a baseball diamond.

Scribit can safely draw, erase, and re-draw new content an infinite number of times. You can print a different image on your wall every day, or several times each day. A restaurant can post the day’s menu, the weather, or sports scores, pulling information from the Internet in real time. Scribit can draw famous paintings or your own artwork on the wall.

Scribit can travel on every kind of vertical surface, from whiteboards to glass or plaster. It draws with four markers at a time, and with eight colours provided, the possibilities are endless.

The basic kit sells for about $500. For another $70 you can add a set of 48 plaster markers, designed to be used with Scribit on drywalls or standard plaster.

For more information, see scribit.design

36 SEVEN WINTER 2020

KINDLING SPLITTER

// leevalley.com That wood fireplace seemed like a good idea at the time. Winter warmth, crackling sounds, flickering light, and a bit of real wood smoke to smell.

Of course, you have to feed that fire. Even if you buy wood pre-chopped, you still have to split some of it small enough to use as kindling.

Enter the kindling splitter from Lee Valley. This wall-mounted tool takes the work out of making kindling from softwood. You just raise the arm, place the wood a cast-iron notch, then press down.

Leverage does the rest.

The stability of the splitter makes it safer to use than an axe. A safety ring holds the splitter arm in closed position when not in use.

The kindling splitter sells for $180.

KEY BOARD

// amazon.ca Where do you put your keys when you get home? Do you drop them in a bowl, or on a table? Do you hang them on a hook or just leave them in your pocket? Or maybe you're always losing your keys, and you're never quite sure where they are.

The Key Board solves that problem. Put a plug on your key ring then you can plug in whenever you need to stow your keys. When it's time to go, just unplug and take your keys with you.

The Key Board comes with six plugs and sells for about $80.

/ SANDY MCMURRAY writes about games, toys, and gadgets at funspot.ca.

MUSIC REVIEWS

THE PORTER’S GATE NEIGHBOR SONGS (Integrity Music)

AWAKE HILLSONG WORSHIP (Capitol CMG)

JESUS IS KING K ANYE WEST (UMG Recordings)

/ THE SURPRISING AND moving musical experiment that is The Porter's Gate returns for their second project, 'Neighbor Songs'.

While many musicians diligently mine inspiration from their tumultuous dating lives, the 13-song album was created out of a unique gathering in January 2019 that paired theologians and songwriters who together went deep into the Scriptures for lyrics. The result is a meditation on the call to love our neighbours as ourselves.

"We had a lot of beautiful, surprising moments of really coming up with things that could not have been written any other way except having that group of people in the room," Isaac Wardell, orchestrator of The Porter’s Gate shared on their website.

What strikes me is the reverance and

seriousness the writers approached the Sacred Texts, something that can be lost or obscured in an age of Bible apps and Instagram scripture posts.

And the theme pairs well with their folk/ singer/songwriter sound; sublime, easy listening with piano, guitar and choirs that sound raw and warm, like you're in a small country church. “Love Will Never Fail” is moving and catchy, almost reminiscent of a 60’s Beatle’s song as smoky lead vocal Leslie Jordan is supported by a joyful choir.

Elsewhere, 'Daughters of Zion' is a heartbreakingly beautiful lament for women who have been silenced or overlooked in the church.

If you're looking for something meaty for your soul, 'Neighbor Songs' is a year of theological studies packed into 41 minutes, 56 seconds.

/ THE EVOCATIVE AND wildly popular music of Hillsong Worship has thrust praise and worship onto the Top 40 charts and swept through churches across North America.

The reason is simple, the music is big and beautiful with soaring anthems and top-notch production values.

Throughout HIllsong's latest offering, worship takes the spotlight and its vital function in the Christian life to overcome trials and receive fresh anointing. As they sing on ‘Awake My Soul’, “And when we pray/where stood a wall now stands a way.”

However, praise for our Creator is presented as a faucet we either choose to fling open or clamp

shut, either unleash or stifle. On ‘Come Alive,’ “Are you waiting on Heaven/or is it waiting on you?”

With such a large roster of musicians that make up Hillsong Worship there’s always a rich variety of voices here, each lead bringing a different style and flavor which keeps the 12 track album fresh and exciting. And while the album starts off with the high octane hits, softer slow-burning tracks fill out the middle and latter half.

Hillsong has become one of the most well-known songwriters and worship leaders in the world, and it’s no wonder, the talent and giftings on display here are awe inspiring. Need to open a window into Heaven in your home or on your commute? Fire up Awake.

/ I HAVE TO admit, I had let Kanye West drop off my radar years ago. While I could appreciate his artistry and passion, to me his ego was a turnoff.

However, when I saw his enthralling interview on Netflix with Dave Letterman I was taken with his deep musings and sincere desire to grapple with the issues of our current culture.

Then when it was announced he was working on a Gospel album, even though I wasn’t a big fan of rap, I knew I had to check it out.

What I was immediately struck with was how explicit West’s declaration of faith is. It’s almost embarrassing how urgent West’s witness is, when compared to my own.

And when he seemingly has so much to lose by taking

a stand of faith in the secular world it’s hard not to admire the risk he’s taking and the pressure he must be under.

Musically, the album is surprisingly uplifting and emotional. Stand out track, ‘Closed On Sunday’ West sings about the painful reception from Christians, “To sing of change, you think I’m joking/To praise His name, you ask what I’m smoking/Yes, I understand your reluctancy… But I have a request… Don’t throw me up, lay your hands on me/Please, pray for me.”

Even if rap isn’t your music of choice, give ‘Selah,’ ‘Closed On Sunday,’ and ‘Use This Gospel’ a listen; powerful and beautiful tracks by a talented musician seeking God with all he’s got.

And isn’t that all any of us can do?

/ STEVEN SUKKAU works in radio on the prairies of Southern Manitoba.

38 SEVEN WINTER 2020

S

NEXT ISSUE

Sports Nothing creates a bond like guys learning the game on the field, cheering together in the stands, or ribbing on each other in the fantasy league chat. From shooting hoops in the driveway as a kid to the championship game, our passion, dedication and character is being tested every step of the way. But without realizing it, the game may be a blessing, or a curse, to our spiritual formation.

Pursue information knowledge wisdom.

Information and knowledge are abundant.

Understanding is deficient. Filtering information into what is right, what is good and what is useful requires understanding. True understanding means knowing God. That is wisdom.

Toronto campus & online www.tyndaleseminary.ca