Body bashing

by Karen Giles Smith

As parents, we want so much for our children: We hope they have a positive sense of self, good friends, a rewarding career, a loving partner, and [insert your other hopes and dreams here]. So we do the best we can in order to support our children’s health and happiness: We make play dates, take them to the doctor, encourage fun physical activity, help them with their homework . . .

But what about your own body image and body-talk? That is: What you feel and say about your own body. You may wonder what your body has to do with your kids’ health. Well, studies show that it has a dramatic effect on children’s well-being. Why? It’s that role-modeling thing again. As parents, if we don’t love and accept ourselves as we are—including our own shape and size—it’s much more difficult, and perhaps impossible, for our children to feel good about their bodies and, therefore, themselves.

By third grade, nearly one-third of children say they don’t like their bodies and want to change them. By age 10, 80 percent of all girls have dieted at least once. As we all know, life is hard enough as it is—and so much harder when we are at war with ourselves.

Internalization of our society’s thin “ideal,” which leads to a negative body image and weight loss attempts, is a risk factor for eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. According to a study by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, hospitalizations for eating disorders among children 12 and younger have more than doubled over the last decade.

Studies show that children pick up on parents’ feelings and behaviors as well as society’s messages about weight.

• Children who are labeled as overweight feel flawed in every way: not smart, not physically capable, and not good about themselves.

• Mothers’ eating and weight-related concerns and behaviors were significantly associated with body dissatisfaction in girls and weight loss attempts in both girls and boys.

• Mothers and fathers who engaged in weight-related conversations had teens who were more likely to diet, use unhealthy weight-control behaviors, and engage in binge eating.

So, what’s a parent to do? Cultivate a positive, safe haven at home to help children feel loved unconditionally. Here’s how to make your home a “no body-bashing” zone:

• Appreciate and take care of your own body.

• Talk in positive terms about your body, for example: “My body is strong and helps me get where I want to go,” rather than “My thighs are too big,” or “I’ve got too much around my middle.”

• Nourish yourself and your family with a wide variety of food. All foods fit. There are no “good” or “bad” foods, just like eating a certain food doesn’t make a per son “good” or “bad.”

• Avoid negative statements about your own eating and your child’s eating.

• Provide opportunities for children to be physically active in order to have fun and feel good, not as a means to alter body shape or size.

• Allow children to express their thoughts and feelings without judging them. Foster open lines of communication.

• Remember that people come in all shapes and sizes. The major influence on body shape and size is genetics. Human beings are not born with the ability to be whatever size and shape they choose.

• Don’t buy into the “ideal” body that the media is selling.

• Recognize that health and well-being are multidimensional and include physical, social, spiritual, occupational, emotional and intellectual aspects.

• Teach children that beauty has to do with character, compassion, kindness, and a sense of purpose in life.

Karen Giles-Smith, MS, RDN, is a local registered dietitian who specializes in nutrition therapy for clients with disordered eating and eating disorders.