City Weekly March 7, 2024

Spring Break

Spring Break

Bathrooms and baseball bookend an election-year slog of a legislative session.

BY BENJAMIN WOOD

S AP

want to build an MLB stadium where there is just as much crime? And now {the U of U ballpark]?

Screw the lake, screw the homeless. What we need is more professional sports for the rich people to enjoy.

We just want affordable housing.

CAITSMITH91

Via Instagram

BOX

@CITYWEEKLY

@SLCWEEKLY

“Foul Ball,” Feb. 29 Cover Story

How about the U waits until the Bees or whatever g-d “pro” team gets their stadium built out in Daybreak and then the U takes over the g-d stadium that has already been built so people can continue to live in their rightfully bought homes?

Quit ripping apart every piece of land to make a buck!

JENNIFER OVARD

Via Facebook

What’s with all the baseball trash lately?

They want to move [Smith’s] ballpark because of crime in the area and then they

Baseball is so boring. Put money into music and the arts. If you like baseball, go play it. Don’t pay to watch someone else.

SALTLAKECHITY

Via Instagram

“To Be Continued,” Feb. 29 Cinema

Good review! As a sci-fi fan I’ll definitely watch [Dune Part 2], but not sure if we’ll make it to the theater. We watched the first one at home.

So, another cliffhanger. This is typical of all sci-fi, including books. Obviously they just want to keep extracting money from us.

JEFF MYERS

Via Facebook

“Play Ball,” Feb. 28 Online News

No one wants an MLB or NHL team in Utah. NFL/football is the only sport that sells out every time.

ANDREYMEHARG

Via Instagram

THISHOMBRE

Via Instagram

Looking forward to the first pitch.

CJSPAYER

Via Instagram

Always giving our money to the rich, but small businesses are on their own. And don’t give me the lie about investing in our city and state; it is always about giving welfare to the richest.

DANCINGWALNUTTREE

Via Instagram

We live in a desert. Might want to spread the word to our politicians. They don’t seem to know.

BROOKEWHITAKER5

Via Instagram

Got to keep the empire entertained while it all falls to pieces.

SOULCORRECTION

Via Instagram

And then there will be another police budget increase to harass our unsheltered neighbors without actually helping whatsoever.

GRIZZLYBEARJAR

Via Instagram

Almost like they don’t care about public opinion. Nobody I know is for this.

THEWILDWINSTON

Via Instagram

And again, taxpayers will foot the bill, but will the average taxpayer be able to afford a ticket?

SUSAN BALLARD

Via Facebook

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

If you could learn any new language instantly, which one would you choose?

Scott Renshaw

Probably French, just because I watch so many French movies, and it would be great to be able understand the language without the subtitles. Or keep the subtitles on and judge whomever butchered the French language, just like an actual French person would do.

Audrey Makris

French, because it sounds so pretentious! I’d have to get the whole “I hate American tourists” look down, though!

Terri Anderson

Spanish, because I live in California.

Benjamin Wood

Spanish. I speak Portuguese and there’s a lot of overlap, but I wish I could communicate better with the many native Spanish speakers in our community.

Bryan Bale

There are so many languages I’d like to learn. If I could choose one to learn instantly, I’d probably go with Japanese, because I think the kanji would be especially tricky. And I’d be able to watch anime without the English subtitles

Jerre Wroble

Gaelic, so I could enjoy Outlander that much more. Or else the “click language” (!Kung) from The Gods Must Be Crazy.

PRIVATE EYE

BY JOHN SALTAS

Lyman’s Devilish Deal

Last week, I wrote a column about being pleasantly surprised by the new Utah state flag when I saw it unfurled on a flag pole for the first time while driving down State Street.

Our new flag is effectively simple. It paints an accurate picture of Utah. Its beauty really grabbed my eye, and I noted that, unlike all the renderings I’d seen of it (and of the other new flag contenders that didn’t win), I understood that the new flag spoke more favorably about Utah than the old flag ever did or ever could.

That old beast of a Utah flag was rightfully regarded as one of the worst and ugliest of state flags among all of our United States, plus the rebel territories of Florida and Texas and the protectorates of Puerto Rico, Guam, Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Arkansas.

I remain astounded that such stalwarts as Phil “Presidential Pardon” Lyman continue to make a big stink about our new flag, later being told his reticence to change it wasn’t so much that he was enamored with the old flag; it was because he was miffed that our new flag was “woke” or some other silly nonsense. A woke flag. Can you believe it?

Lyman’s objections to a new flag are also a reflection of his not wanting to change something that wasn’t broken—that the old flag and whatever it represented in his mind were just jim-dandy, and there was no need to upgrade that old potato dumpling for a saucy new dish of colorful ratatouille.

I don’t know if all that is correct about Lyman. I don’t know the guy, but I do know that Lyman was prosecuted by the federal government in 2015 after he went joyrid-

ing up Recapture Canyon near the San Juan River in Juab Country. Yes, it is a federally protected area and, yes, especially so due to the sensitivity of rare archeological treasures found there.

In support of his belief that access to such places should not be restricted nor off limits to normal stand-up guys like himself—i.e., persons who like to rampage all over the place because it’s their right as benevolent settlers— Lyman set out on a ride that captured national attention, especially among those predisposed to distrust the federal government. Of course it would. Who among us doesn’t possess the means to acquire the expensive toys requisite in expressing their federal right to toss dirt and dust all over sacred relics of a disrespected culture, all the while burrowing ever more side trails into delicate, fragile and religious terrain?

The people who own that piece of land (U.S. citizens) and the people charged with its oversight (federal agencies like the Bureau of Land Management and National Park Service) paid attention. So, Lyman was charged, convicted and sentenced with a restitution fine of $96,000 and given 10 days jail in lieu of 36 month probation. Outside the fine, that was something akin to sentencing after a DUI, a minor drug offense or for prostitution—all of which are crimes not unknown to the good people of Juab County. The money? Who knows? But I’d be pissed if someone damaged something irreplaceable that meant something to me.

By the time the end of 2020 rolled around and our outgoing former President Donald Trump exited his office, Trump did what all presidents do and let loose with a woven basket full of presidential pardons. On Nov. 25, 2020, Trump served up a real Thanksgiving turkey to our nation when he pardoned shamed former Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, who had made false statements to federal prosecutors.

Flynn recently advocated for our country to embrace not merely religion, but a one-god religion entirely. While I’d choose the god who places a field goal dead

center when time ends, I’m pretty sure Flynn is one of those “Wide Right” guys, guys like our own putz, Mike Lee, who can’t conceive of fair anything down the center. You know, Trump guys. So, this is going to be interesting.

Less than a month later—on Dec. 23, 2020—Trump pardoned Paul Manafort, who lied on his taxes; Roger Stone, who was guilty of witness tampering; and fraudster Charles Kushner, the father of Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner. Steve Bannon would be pardoned for conspiracy to commit wire fraud in January. Those men comprise the core of the ugly bad set of characters that our former president surrounds himself with

But on Dec. 22, 2020, a slew of lesser-known individuals were also pardoned for various charges that included manslaughter, murder and assault with a dangerous weapon. The worst Greek boy ever, George Papadopoulos, was pardoned on that date as well for making false statements, as was another person of Greek heritage (I’m pretty sure I knew his family in Bingham Canyon), Weldon Angelos, who was given a mandatory minimum sentence for dispensing controlled substances. Now, that one I agree with. Angelos got screwed.

But there were two curious pardons on that day. Alfred Lee Crum of Oklahoma, previously jailed for moonshining, and Utah’s very own Phil Lyman. Wow. Can you imagine their legacy? “Yeah, son, I went out to express my constitutional republic freedoms by putting some logs under the still, and my pal Phil here was merely thinking about burning some rubber on the grave of an old Indian fella, and the next thing you know, we’re mentioned in the same breath as patriots like Michael Flynn and Steve Bannon. Great times.”

So why did Phil get a pardon? Perhaps it has less to do with the crime he was sentenced for than it does for the one that Trump expects him to commit. That marker is going to come due. CW

Send comments to john@cityweekly.net

HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele BY: BILL FROST

MISS: 1,000 Cuts

As the Utah Legislature celebrates four years of cutting taxes, citizens may wonder who’s getting all this money?

It’s not most of you. Republicans say it’s all about spurring productivity, but you should remember that the Reaganera theory of “trickle-down” economics is basically B.S. While politicians want the voting rabble to believe lower taxes will help them, they also admit it’s meant to benefit high-wage earners. That’s because they are sure— without evidence—that the benefits will trickle down to you. An analysis from the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy (yes, it’s left-leaning) shows that the highest earners ($3 million per year) may get $2,676 back, while the lowest ($20,000) will get a whopping $24. Meanwhile, public education continues to struggle—even though we’re giving the new voucher program another $40 million this year. And here’s how they help people in need: You can vote on a constitutional amendment to cut the sales tax on food—but you’ll also be cutting funding to education. So there!

HIT: Duck and Cover

It’s over—the Utah legislative session, that is. The few victories that voters saw may be brief as lawmakers will soon hunker down for interim work to bring back the worst next year. They are waiting in the wings to permanently get rid of ranked choice voting, they still want the Salt Lake County gravel pit, and even though a bill failed to make citizen initiatives harder to pass, lawmakers are always on the lookout for ways to keep citizens from making laws. The jury’s still out on how a Major League Baseball stadium might benefit the Fairpark area—you know, if a MLB team comes to Utah. Perhaps the best part of the session was the fact that reporters are still a thing on the Hill. The evidence? Legislators are using the “fake news” argument and calling reporting lies when it is anything but.

MISS: Cluttered Inbox

Who gets to spam whom? For now, it’s the House speaker and Senate president who get to email every single school employee in the state three times a year. Why, you may ask? Because, boohoo, school employees hear a lot from their union, but they don’t get to hear from their elected officials. Mind you, these elected officials are public servants, too. “The state pays a portion of educational expenses in our state. We’re paying a portion of their salaries. When we want to communicate with those employees, there’s no way for us to do that,” Riverton Republican Rep. Candice Pierucci told The Salt Lake Tribune. Oh, sure there is, but it might take some thinking. Maybe just visit schools, talk to teachers and, of course, give out your personal emails so you, the lawmakers, can have a conversation. Instead, the Legislature would rather serve school employees with a one-way propaganda vehicle. Those employees should remember they can block emails they don’t want. CW

Radio Blah Blah

There are dozens of hilarious Reddit threads and TikTok videos dedicated to “Fox News screen burn,” wherein people have visited their parents’ or grandparents’ homes and noticed that the lower left corner of their TV screen has a faint outline of the Fox News logo.

Meaning, the ‘rents watch the legally adjudicated misinformation channel so much that their TV has the OLED equivalent of the visage of Christ on a piece of toast seared into the screen.

OK, not so much “hilarious” as “sad AF.” Your relatives who watch this conservative crapola cannon all day long have been brainwashed into believing that Joe Biden is somehow both a senile lizard person and a criminal mastermind lizard person, that Donald Trump is Our Savior Sent by God, and that Greg Gutfeld is as funny as Greg Gutfeld thinks he is.

Or worse, Pops and Grams are marinating in NewsMax or OAN because Fox News has become too “woke.” Either way, at least it’s confined to the household, right? It’s not like they’re out on the road, red hats slightly poking above the steering wheel on their way to Walmart or, worse, your house.

Allow me to further horrify you with the decades-long existence of right-wing talk radio. Red-staters are outraged that some car manufacturers have removed the AM radio option from newer models. Why? Because Angry Male radio is programmed wallto-wall with apoplectic conservative blowhards spouting their comforting Christofascist propaganda 24/7. It’s Fox News without the niceties and colorful shapes.

Like pollution and Guy Fieri, AM radio signals go everywhere, and the mountainous terrain of Utah is no exception. There are two prominent right-wing AM radio stations in the Salt Lake City area, one of which has a 25,000-watt FM counterpart: KNRS 105.9, home to such hair-helmeted sages as Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck and dollar-store Art Bell replicant George Noory. Full disclosure: I’ve been blocked by KNRS on X/Twitter for referring to it as “KKKNRS” (not sorry).

The other is KKAT 860 AM, “Utah’s Talk Station,” which carries the rabid D-list of Mark Levin, Ben Shapiro and Dan Bongino, squeak-toy-voiced “libtard” bashers all. They’re half as popular as the big guys, but at least they’re twice as putrid.

There are several identical radio stations scattered across central and southern Utah, all carrying the same syndicated shows and the same dumbed-down disinformation discourse (go search the term “news desert” for further trauma). Utah is blanketed with this bullshit—wake up, sheeple!

What’s the takeaway here? Put a reverse-parental block on your elders’ TVs to filter out Fox News, and then buy them a nice new car with no AM radio. Hey, it’s a start. CW

TRUE TV

Flashback: 2020 Lockdown TV

The COVID-19 pandemic wasn’t all bad: It gave us some great shows to watch in the bunker.

BY BILL FROST comments@cityweekly.net

Exactly four years ago, the COVID-19 lockdown stranded us at home with nothing to do but doomscroll social media and watch TV. Granted, this wasn’t a drastic deviation from the regular life of a TV reviewer, but it did require a deeper dive into the streams. You remember critical hits like The Flight Attendant and cultural anomalies like Tiger King, but these were some of the real treasures of 2020.

Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens (streaming on Max): A spiritual sister to Broad City, Comedy Central’s Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens arrived just ahead of the pandemic in January 2020. Twentysomething Nora (Awkwafina, obvs) lives with her grandma (Lori Tan Chinn) and dad (BD Wong) in Queens, and every day presents a new ridiculous scenario, including one episode dedicated entirely to her distinctive “queef” (search it … or don’t). AINFQ is occasionally as introspective as it is hilarious, especially in the series finale where Nora meets the IRL Awkwafina. This was the last great Comedy Central original.

Mythic Quest (Apple TV+): Apple TV+ is slowly becoming the new HBO, a reliable source of high-quality (and high-dollar) programming. Back in 2020, it struck early comedy gold with Mythic Quest. The video-

game-company workplace sitcom could have coasted on the sparkling dynamic between arrogant creative director Ian Grimm (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s Rob McElhenney) and anxious lead engineer Poppy Li (Charlotte Nicdao), but the ensemble cast (including Danny Pudi, David Hornsby and Ashly Burch) puts it over the top. Mythic Quest is Veep for coders.

Dave (Hulu): One of the few YouTubers to make the jump to trad TV successfully, rapper Lil Dicky (a.k.a. Dave Burd) recently bailed on his hit FX series Dave to refocus on music; it’s Flight of the Conchords all over again. Dave never rises to the idiot genius of that classic, but it did produce three seasons of Burd’s unlikely climb to the hip-hop top, with dozens of actual stars contributing surprisingly self-deprecating cameos (including Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Drake, Rachel McAdams and Brad Pitt). It often pegs the cringe meter, but Dave is (or, was) a true original.

Three Busy Debras (Adult Swim, Max): A trio of white-clad women, all named Debra, live it up in the suburban utopia of Lemoncurd—Three Busy Debras was the surrealist escape that Lockdown 2020 needed. “Debras” Sandy Honig, Alyssa Stonoha, and Mitra Jouhari, who also created and wrote the two-season series, over-weird even the most outre Adult Swim shows while simultaneously championing and trashing feminism in a fever dream of undocile domesticity. It’s not for everyone—or anyone, some would argue—but Three Busy Debras is a brainmelting gem.

Dicktown (Hulu): Former famous boy detective John Hunchman (voiced by John Hodgeman) still solves crimes as a middle-aged man in his small hometown of Richardsville (nicknamed Dicktown), aided by his former school bully, Dave

Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens

Purefoy (David Rees). This aggressively adult cartoon may sound like Encyclopedia Brown in the saddest timeline, but it’s really a tightly plotted satire that doesn’t scrimp on profanity or seedy details. Mike Tyson Mysteries would never have taken a case investigating a strawberry patch littered with used condoms, guaranteed.

Brews Brothers (Netflix): Brews Brothers dropped eight episodes on Netflix in April 2020, never to be heard from again, but at least Season 1 is still hanging around in the endless sprawl. A rude ‘n’ crude brocomedy in the vein of The League, Brews Brothers plays like an early-2000s cable comedy, about a pair of siblings who run a Van Nuys craft brewpub somewhat successfully and always antagonistically. Its aim to be a hoppy mashup of It’s Always

Sunny In Philadelphia and Beerfest isn’t always true, but Brews Brothers did produce this nugget: a hefeweizen blithely named “Weiss Power.”

The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch (Hulu):

“There is a ranch in Northern Utah … It is considered the epicenter of the strangest and most disturbing phenomena on Earth … Animal mutilations, bizarre UFO sightings, and unusual energies.”

So opens The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch, a History Channel reality series that’s been trying to smoke out aliens since March 2020. Of course, the team of scientists and ranch employees—including a dude named “Dragon”—never find anything, because they need the network to greenlight just one more season to get to The Truth. It’s stupidly addictive. CW

COMEDY CENTRAL

ESSENTIALS

Sam Daley-Harris: Reclaiming Our Democracy

It’s perhaps natural to think that the times one is living in are unprecedented—particularly bad, particularly good, or in some other way without reasonable points of comparison from earlier times. That ignores how many of the same basic principles can be applied to any time. And while it’s easy to express frustration at certain developments in our political landscape, similar concepts for becoming an activist have been true at least since Sam Daley-Harris wrote the original version of Reclaiming Our Democracy: Every Citizen’s Guide to Transformational Advocacy in 1993.

Now, more than 30 years later, DaleyHarris has released a new, updated edition of his book, continuing to share the lessons he learned as founder of the global hunger-eradication non-profit RESULTS in the 1980s. It’s in part a challenge to the idea that activism is something only for other people, that it’s too difficult or time-consuming to move from frustration and complaining to action. He presents the premise that the sense of fulfillment involved in becoming an advocate counteracts the perceived negatives, and that engaged citizenship isn’t merely essential to helping make democracy work, but an opportunity for personal satisfaction.

Sam Daley-Harris speaks at the Salt Lake City Main Library Tessman Auditorium (210 E. 400 South) on Thursday, March 7 at 6 p.m., sponsored by The King’s English Bookshop. Tickets are free and open to the public, but must be reserved in advance via Eventbrite. Copies of the book will be available for purchase at the event, and signed copies may be ordered in advance. Visit kingsenglish.com for ticket reservations or advance book purchases. (Scott Renshaw)

Gary Gulman @ Wiseguys

For more than years, Gary Gulman carved out a career as what is known in the biz as an “observational comic,” devoting his material on late-night talk shows and his own comedy specials to absurdities in everyday life, like his classic routine speculating on the process that arrived at the two-letter state abbreviations. Then, in the mid2010s, Gulman was hospitalized for depression multiple times, to the point that he wasn’t sure if or when he could resume his standup career. But when he did, it was with a new approach that found him opening up about his own life and experiences, including his 2019 HBO special The Great Depresh, in which he found laughs in his long history of mental-health struggles.

In 2023, Gulman continued that creative shift. His 2023 Max special Born on Third Base included material about growing up poor in the Boston area, and how that affected his life. He also went into detail about his childhood in his wonderful memoir Misfit: Growing Up Awkward in the ’80s, which addressed his experiences with anxiety and the friendships he remembers so well that he can provide the kids’ phone numbers. Yet even as his focus has shifted, he remains one of the funniest comedians around, a gifted storyteller whose playful way with words lends a particular intelligence to his work.

Gary Gulman visits Wiseguys Gateway (190 S. 400 West) for five performances, March 8 – 9 at 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., and March 10 at 6 p.m. Tickets are $40, and remaining seats for Friday and Saturday are limited at press time; visit wiseguyscomedy.com. (SR)

Pilar Pobil gallery dedication @ Utah Cultural Celebration Center

If you are familiar at all with the visual arts scene in Salt Lake City, you know about Pilar Pobil. The Spanish-born painter and sculptor has been a vital part of that scene for decades, since relocating to Utah in 1956—inviting guests into her garden annually for a gathering of like-minded folks, and creating a body of work that earned her the designation in 2019 of one of Utah’s 15 Most Influential Artists. Now, she receives yet another honor, as the gallery space at the Utah Cultural Celebration Center in West Valley becomes the Pilar Pobil Celebration Gallery.

As part of this new partnership with the Pilar Pobil Legacy Foundation, the gallery will be showcasing My Vida – My Art, a retrospective of Pobil’s work spanning the full breadth of her career. “We are honored that PPLF has secured the naming rights for our gallery space,” says Jeff Olsen, Director of Arts & Culture at the Utah Cultural Celebration Center. “Her legacy will not only live through the name of our gallery but also through a donation of Pilar’s artwork that will be displayed in our building.”

The Utah Cultural Celebration Center (1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City) will hold a free opening reception and dedication for the renamed gallery space on Friday, March 8, from 5 p.m. – 8 p.m., with Pobil scheduled to be in attendance. The exhibition opened Feb. 28, and will run through May 29. Visit pilarpobillegacyfoundation.org for additional information. (SR)

Utah Opera: The Marriage of Figaro

We tend to think of sequels as a modern phenomenon, a desire to chase a quick buck in the aftermath of an artistic success. That conception tends to ignore how many of the greatest creative minds in history looked to continue the stories of their most popular characters: Shakespeare with The Merry Wives of Windsor, Mark Twain with The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Louisa May Alcott with Little Men. And we would be poorer indeed if Pierre Beaumarchais hadn’t followed up The Barber of Seville with another tale of barber-turned-manservant Figaro in The Marriage of Figaro in 1784, which subsequently became the libretto for one of Mozart’s most beloved operas.

The premise—considered daring enough in its time that it was initially banned by Emperor Joseph II for its challenges to the class structure—finds Figaro preparing for his wedding to fellow servant Susanna. Those plans are complicated by the desire of Figaro’s master, Count Almaviva, to re-establish his right to bed his servants on their wedding night, as well as the machinations of Dr. Bartolo, whom Figaro made an enemy of in The Barber of Seville.

Utah Opera’s production of The Marriage of Figaro comes to the Janet Quinney Lawson Capitol Theater (50 W. 200 South) for five performances: March 9 & 15 at 7:30 p.m., March 11 & 13 at 7 p.m. and March 17 at 2 p.m. Ticket holders are invited for an “opera talk” with principal coach Carol Anderson one hour before each performance. Tickets are $18.50 - $110; visit arttix.org to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (SR)

MONICA KHANNA

DEBORAH FEINGOLD

COURTESY

PREVIEW CINEMA

And the Prop Goes To …

Mix up your 2024 Academy Award predictions with a few side bets.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

The 2024 Academy Awards are ready to roll on Sunday, March 10, offering an event that’s kind of like the Super Bowl for movie nerds. Yet while that comparison is apt in some ways, there’s one area where we lag behind our sports-loving counterparts: the “prop bet.”

For those unfamiliar, a “prop bet” puts action on the likelihood of an event outside of the primary results of a game—e.g., how many yards a specific player will gain, who will score the first points, even who wins the coin toss. For the Oscars, lots of folks participate in “pick the winners” pools for who will take home the awards in the individual categories. But what if we made it a little interesting, and found things to predict (for entertainment purposes only, of course) beyond the gold statuettes themselves? Here’s just a sampling of some options for Oscars prop bets.

Over/under for Oppenheimer +/- 7.5 total wins. The epic historical drama about the creation of the atomic bomb is overwhelmingly favored to win in several major categories, including Best Picture, Best Director for Christopher Nolan, Best Supporting Actor for Robert Downey, Jr. and Best Original Score for Ludwig Göransson. However, the film has been nominated for a total of 13 awards. How many of the others will it take? Will Cillian Murphy’s performance in the title role win Best Actor, or is Paul Giamatti still favored there?

est is a major contender? Tricky stuff.

Acting parlay for Downey, Giamatti, Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Emma Stone: I’m not in the business of laying odds, but I’m wondering what a Vegas casino would give for the four presumed favorites all winning. Lily Gladstone and Emma Stone feel like they’re in the tightest race for the Best Actress award, and Stone is a previous winner. Okay fine, let’s say 12-1 for that foursome. Who’s in?

First and/or last person shown for the “In Memoriam” montage. In addition to the awards themselves, the Academy Awards broadcast always takes time to recognize those in the movie industry who passed away during the preceding 12 months. Historically, the most famous or awards-decorated individuals get the prime spots leading off and ending the showcase of photos, and some years those choices are more obvious than others. Ryan O’Neal seems likely to be in one of those slots. But it could also be director Norman Jewison, a multi-time Oscar

nominee, or Shaft’s Richard Roundtree. Perhaps even Matthew Perry, despite his primary renown coming in television. Personally, I wouldn’t mind a Rocky twofer of Burt Young and Carl Weathers.

Over/under for number of “Barbenheimer” jokes by host Jimmy Kimmel +/4.5. Never let it be said that the opening monologue for the Academy Awards avoids obvious targets. As the phenomenon that drove the summer box office, in addition to featuring two of the most nominated films, the combination of Barbie and Oppenheimer will definitely be the subject of Kimmel’s barbs. Will four be too many? Three too few? Whatever the spread, it feels like you should take the “over.”

Over/under for number of acceptance speeches that will mention the 2023 Hollywood strikes +/- 1.5: It’s possible that the winners will choose not to focus on last year’s lengthy strikes by the Writers Guild of America and Screen Actors Guild; there’s only so much time to thank everyone, and perhaps Kimmel will make

enough jokes about them that it would feel like overkill. Still, there might be a desire to remind folks that creators have had to fight not to be left behind by their industry. Definitely a tough call.

Anyone at your awards party sweeping the three short film categories. You definitely separate the pros from the amateurs when it comes to predicting Best Animated Short, Best Live Action Short and Best Documentary Short—categories where most average viewers haven’t even heard of the nominees, let alone seen them. It seems like there should be a special something in store for hitting the trifecta.

Over/under for broadcast length +/- 215 minutes: The Oscars broadcast is starting an hour earlier this year (5 p.m. Mountain Time), in an effort to keep people in the eastern time zones watching when the show creeps to the 3½ hour mark. Will this year tighten things up from last year’s 3 hours, 37 minutes? If you can nail when Jimmy Kimmel says “Good night,” maybe there should be a trophy for you, too. CW

Spring Break

Bathrooms and baseball bookend an election-year slog of a legislative session.

BY BENJAMIN WOOD bwood@cityweekly.net

CAPITOL HILL Politics is war, but government is high school.

I’m far from the first observer to draw this comparison, but a school campus remains the best proxy for considering the Utah Legislature, with its fishbowl immersion, tribal cliques, petty jealousies and cyclical nature that sees incoming freshmen working their way up the ladder as a cohort of seniors is replaced every two years.

Where pupils have reading, writing and arithmetic, we in the local political orbit have government operations, revenue and taxation, and judiciary. The House speaker and Senate president are vice principals, the committee chairs are faculty and a corps of thankless support staff keep the lights on. There are long-winded lectures, required reading, daily assignments and everything will be on the final exam.

I found myself thinking about this often while covering the 2024 session, because it occurred to me that I’ve been doing this for 13 years, the same amount of time that I spent in K-12 classrooms. And like any disillusioned upperclassmen, I’m getting too old for this shit. (Hat tip to the poor souls doing this for even longer than I.)

My first session—kindergarten, as it were—was in 2012, when I was a greener-than-green education reporter for the Deseret News. I made my way up the hill to cover a sex-ed debate and found myself going back day after day because that’s where all the action was.

At the end of 45 days, my editor asked for a “20-inch” story recapping what lawmakers had done for schools. I had no conception of column inches—as a millennial reporter, I studied journalism post-internet—and diligently went about interviewing stakeholders and compiling an exhaustive report totaling something like 4,000-plus words. My editor then explained, with a combination of surprise and amusement, that I’d need to cut at least three-fourths of what I’d written.

Education is a perfect beat. It’s expansive enough that you never run out of stories to tell and constrained enough that you can mentally wrap your arms around it—attend every state school board meeting, read every school bill, keep tabs on the main players. Later, when I wrote for the Tribune, I was assigned to a two-person team expected to cover all of state government and got burned out pretty quick.

Now at City Weekly, I’ve settled into a new routine. I spend half the week editing the paper and the other half on the Hill, primarily tracking transportation bills—because it’s the biggest issue the state gets the most wrong and with the least amount of scrutiny—and following the debates du jour that dominate the news cycle.

I still don’t know how column inches work, but I’ve written more than 11,000 words on cityweekly.net regarding the 2024 session. What follows is my term-paper attempt to pull all of that reporting together and update it, where necessary, while trimming it down to no more than 2,500 words—and I’ve already wasted 500.

Running to the Bathroom

For the third year in a row, the Utah Legislature sent anti-transgender legislation to the desk of Gov. Spencer Cox, adding bathroom regulations to the bans on trans athletes and gender-affirming health care of 2022 and 2023, respectively. And like 2023, Capitol leadership decided to front-load the session with these controversial proposals—plus a ban on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion programs, or DEI—diving into the deep end of electionyear red meat before settling into more routine deliberations.

“This effort, to protect women, is not something we should take a knee on,” said Riverton Republican Sen. Dan McCay, the Senate sponsor of HB257.

The specifics of the bathroom bill shifted several times, and proponents note that it calls for more gender-neutral facilities in state buildings. But over one 24-hour period, Senate leaders were adamant to reporters that anyone behaving appropriately would

be free to use the bathroom of their choice and, by the next afternoon, they’d fully reversed that position, iterating that genderdesignated spaces are meant to correspond with a person’s assigned sex at birth.

“It was never intended for anybody to use any bathroom,” McCay said. “This is the way things go in the legislative process. It’s never over until you have a final bill that you send to the governor.”

But debate over the specific terms of the law ignores the larger question of whether a state law is needed at all. The elected Utah State Board of Education and the Utah High School Activities Association are capable of establishing rules around school sports and facilities, adjudicating conflicts that arise and answering to the public if and when their approach falls short. Associations governing medical professionals can (and have) established standards of care. And any aberrant behavior that might hypothetically occur in a public restroom is already addressed by statutes on harassment, assault and indecency. Similarly, Rep. Keith Grover, R-Provo, struggled to explain exactly what his DEI ban is meant to do beyond prohibiting the use of the words “diversity,” “equity” and “inclusion” together.

“That’s definitely one of the components of the bill,” Grover said. “There’s lot of other things that it does as well.”

Outside of partisan aims, these bills are needless. And in that needlessness, there is cruelty, a point driven home by the actions of state school board member Natalie Cline, whose decision to falsely target the gender identity of a student athlete on social media generated a unanimous storm of criticism on and around Capitol Hill. Virtually everyone in Utah government—from Gov. Spencer Cox to the Midvale City Council—called on Cline to step down, with the House and Senate passing an unprecedented censure resolution that stopped short of impeachment and the Utah Board of Education stripping Cline of her board authority and committee assignments.

“What I think should be done is I think [Cline] should resign. That’s the right thing to do—that’s the best thing to do,” Gov.

Spencer Cox said at a mid-session press conference. “Whether or not she’s impeached probably is immaterial at this point. That is, in effect, what has happened.”

Far from resigning, Cline announced on Feb. 19 that she intends to seek reelection to another term in November.

“I will continue working to protect children against the tsunami of education systems that are actively undermining faith, family and freedom,” Cline wrote on Facebook.

Moneyball

In addition to being an election year, 2024 was a low-revenue session for lawmakers with relatively few surplus dollars to spend, particularly compared to recent years that were goosed by federal pandemic spending.

After setting aside some $160 million at the start of the budget process, Senate President Stuart Adams, R-Layton, made a running joke of saying the Legislature would “measure twice and cut once” while weighing the goal of a fourth consecutive year of income tax cuts against the diverse needs for appropriation around education, social services, housing, transportation and other areas of government spending.

“Lowering taxes is the fairest way to reduce the tax burden, promote upward mobility and let Utahns keep more of their hard-earned money,” Adams argued. “Thanks to a legacy of foresight, responsible planning and fiscally conservative policies, we have proven it is possible to provide for current needs while laying the groundwork for growth and advancement for future generations.”

But the cries of legislative poverty collided with ambitious plans to build not one but two professional sports venues in Salt Lake City, with Utah seeking to lure the National

Sen. Dan McCay, R-Riverton

A rendering of a proposed baseball stadium and development on Salt Lake’s west side.

Sen. President Stuart Adams

Hockey League to a revamped entertainment hub around the Delta Center and to land a Major League Baseball expansion team in what is currently a sprawling and underproductive Rocky Mountain Power campus on the west side.

A combined $2 billion price tag—spread over many years, largely through bonding and increment financing incentives, but with some new taxes—generated sticker shock around the state, with residents, advocates, journalists (especially those who don’t regularly make the trek up the Hill) and some lawmakers questioning why the common taxpayer should be “helping billionaires” at the same time that other critical funding areas are pinching pennies.

But much of the criticism overlooked the nuances of tax increment financing, a convoluted method of subsidization that sees debts leveraged against private investment and paid down with a portion of the new tax revenue that would otherwise be assessed against new development, offsetting the massive upfront costs involved in building a new urban neighborhood from scratch (in the case of MLB on North Temple) or in revitalizing the dilapidated and incongruous areas of west downtown (in the case of an NBA/NHL district).

“They’re saying that taxpayer money is going to some private company to do this, but the inverse is actually true,” said Sen. Lincoln Fillmore, R-South Jordan. “It is private money that is coming in to subsidize a public stadium that is then leased back to a private party.”

The most noteworthy discussion of this approach occurred not on the House or Senate floor, but in the Senate president’s daily media availability on Feb. 22, after reporters pressed leadership to justify the prioritization of professional sports when issues like affordable housing and homeless services were getting short shrift. Republican senators described how capital cities around the country had fallen into cycles of contraction and deterioration, and how shoring up the downtown area would sustain Salt Lake City as the state’s cultural and business hub.

“You can’t just look at the social programs,” Adams said. “You have to look at how to drive an economy, too, because when people make money, they pay taxes.”

The conversation then pivoted to Senate Minority Leader Luz Escamilla, D-Salt Lake City, to offer a counterpoint to the majority strategy. Instead, she echoed everything her Republican colleagues had described.

“The type of in-

vestment that we’re talking about is going to completely change the west side,” she said. “No one has ever invested in the west side— ever. Ever. And if it’s bringing a team to bring that level of investment, I can tell you we are uniting forces with our community, we want to see the investment, we want to see the [State] Fairpark continue to succeed. But we have a criminal element right now in the west side, in the Jordan River area, and no one is going to clean it. If bringing $3 billion into that area is going to change that, I want to see it.”

Lawmakers ultimately approved a pair of bills that relied even less on new taxes. That result appeared to put to bed rumors (threats?) that the Utah Jazz might leave the city for a new location in the Draper suburbs, with owner Ryan Smith posting on social media that downtown Salt Lake City is the “heart” of the state.

“Our efforts are not about an arena,” Smith wrote, “it’s about revitalizing a downtown that desperately needs investments.”

Road Blocks

Lawmakers made few changes to the billions spent each year on transportation. Among the additions for 2024, the Legislature approved $50 million for transit at Point of the Mountain, $5 million for expansion of the Provo Airport, $15 million for a control tower at the St. George Regional Airport and $500,000 to study transportation needs in the Power District, where the proposed MLB ballpark would be located.

A bill to allow newly licensed drivers to travel with one non-family passenger stalled out in the Senate but is likely to return in the future as its sponsor, Morgan Republican Rep. Kera Birkeland, said she was motivated by a citation her teenage daughter received. And a bill to create a small exception to the state’s ban on automated traffic enforcement (aka “photo cop”) for use in school and construction zones never received a hearing, despite similar legislation passing out of the Senate and a House committee last year.

One bill that did pass is HB430, which creates “transit innovation grants” for cities to test new service routes and demonstrate ridership demand. It also requires the Utah Transit Authority to regularly report on how a city’s UTA contribution is being used to serve that city’s transit riders.

more of them have moved toward high-density housing,” Pierucci said. “And with that, our transit needs are not keeping up.”

But Pierucci’s premise ran into cold, hard reality, with UTA executive director Jay Fox testifying in committee that those three cities combined account for roughly 2% of Salt Lake County’s transit funds, while Salt Lake City taxpayers contribute 30%, effectively subsidizing all transit services in the suburbs. Salt Lake City has also elected to fund transit above and beyond the standard local option sales tax percentages set out in state code. (While Pierucci is correct about bus service, on-demand transit is available in the southwest corner of the county, offering a connection to Trax and FrontRunner stations in South Jordan and Draper, respectively.)

While HB430 still moves existing money around in lieu of increases, the bill was ultimately amended to a form that drew neutrality, if not support, from public transportation stakeholders. “Transit is the answer,” Fox said. “UTA is the answer to economic growth. We are the answer to building communities, the answer to environmental sustainability, better air quality and the path to safeguarding our future. Rep. Pierucci’s bill recognizes the demand and need for more transit along the Wasatch Front.”

Under another bill, HB449, the Utah Department of Transportation (UDOT) will be charged with treating cyclists like people instead of small cars. The bill calls for cyclist and pedestrian safety to be considered in road plans and lists design interventions that could be used to that effect, like lane barriers, median islands and curb extensions. Those tools are broadly known as “traffic calming,” as they dramatically enhance safety without any meaningful effect on vehicle flow. But a specific reference to “traffic calming” was stripped from the bill’s language at the request of UDOT, which traditionally measures the success of a roadway solely based on car volumes.

“Some people at UDOT like that term— some don’t,” said UDOT deputy director Peter Asplund.

Extracurricular Activities

A few more notable bills and developments from the 2024 legislative session.

The new Utah State Flag will take legal effect this month after an effort to repeal its redesign was dead on arrival. A hearing replayed the hits from a now 6-year-old debate, with supporters of the traditional flag arguing the new design is “woke,” “erases history” and is part of a Marxist plot to “dethrone God and destroy capitalism.”

• Organized labor won against a transparent attempt to choke unions out of existence by requiring recurring votes for reauthorization, among other burdensome rules. The sponsor was perhaps too clever by half, attempting to carve out an exception for police and firefighters’ unions, only to face a wall of solidarity as first responders rejected the special treatment, standing shoulder to shoulder with fellow labor organizations like the UEA.

• A “Don’t Say Gay”-style bill prohibiting Pride flags and other forms of expression in classrooms was rejected by the House in a 32-39 vote. But on the final day of the session, supporters twice tried to resurrect the legislation by hijacking the text of an unrelated bill. Both of those attempts failed.

The bill’s sponsor, Riverton Republican Rep. Candice Pierucci, repeatedly noted that the fast-growing areas of Bluffdale, Riverton and Herriman do not host a single UTA bus stop. But rather than pursue new funding for new services, her initial proposal sought to allow cities to retain some of the taxpayer dollars they contribute to UTA in order to stand up services within their boundaries. “We’ve had cities answer the call as we work to encourage them to address housing, and more and

But the biggest transportation news arrived from outside the Capitol, with reporting out of Boise that an application for federal funding to study restored passenger rail service between Idaho, Utah and Nevada had been improperly filed and, as a result, excluded from a historic round of transit funding in December. Idaho transportation officials acknowledged the error, but a companion proposal submitted by UDOT was also excluded for as-yet-unknown reasons.

The Federal Railroad Administration (FRA) released its own long-term plans for Amtrak service, which could see trains from Salt Lake City to Portland and Seattle via Boise and to Los Angeles via Las Vegas and tripling the amount of daily train service to Denver.

The FRA’s timeline for those changes is currently estimated at 15 years. A UDOT spokesperson did not respond to multiple requests for comment, but Gov. Spencer Cox expressed support for expanding passenger trains. “I believe that rail can solve a lot of our nation’s problems,” he said. “I lament that we’re the most prosperous, powerful nation on earth, and we’re the ones that can’t figure that out.” CW

• One of the most heated floor debates was on a bill imposing new reporting requirements on the district attorney for Salt Lake County and creating a process for the state Supreme Court to appoint an alternate prosecutor. Republicans claimed that criminals are freely walking the streets of Salt Lake City and that the “fabric of society” is being allowed to deteriorate. Democrats countered that the bill is a “disgrace” and motivated by vindictive aims. The bill passed largely along party lines.

• Utah’s ranked choice voting pilot will limp to its 2026 finish line after narrowly surviving a repeal attempt based largely on vibes. Critics of the alternative balloting method appealed to notions of “election integrity,” arguing that confusion and discarded ballots showed the pilot’s failure, while representatives from cities—including Salt Lake—testified that the experience had been positive in their areas. An atypical assortment of senators hit the magic number of “no” votes, allowing the program to run its course. CW

Sen. Lincoln Fillmore, R-South Jordan

Senate Minority Leader Luz Escamilla

Rep. Candice Pierucci, R-Riverton

The Boiled and the Beautiful

Baby’s Bagels brings it, baby.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

Idon’t know if I’m feeling spring in the air or just developing a mild case of insomnia, but I’ve been getting up a bit earlier than usual recently. Since food is usually on my mind in these wee hours of the morning, I’ve been scoping out the places that are usually closed by the time I start thinking about what restaurants I could potentially visit. It’s given me plenty of time to check out Baby’s Bagels, a buzzworthy bagel bakery that has been making waves among the breakfast and coffee crowd.

My formative dining experiences were fairly devoid of bagelry. Occasionally we’d get the bags of bagels they sell at the grocery store, and I’ve been to plenty of professional events catered by the folks at Einstein Bagels, but that’s about it. Perhaps this lack of experience is what got me excited about Baby’s Bagels. I know enough about this chewy treat and its surprisingly dramatic culinary history to understand its cultural significance, but I was happy to take a moment and dig into the factors that have made the bagel endure over the years.

Baby’s Bagels has a standard menu of plain, sesame, poppyseed and everything bagels, though they have been known to throw out a few surprises now and then.

I actually liked the fact that they didn’t

have any sweet bagels; if I wanted that, I would have gone to a doughnut shop, thank you very much. They also have a fridge full of homemade shmears. During my visit, they even had some muhammara, a Middle Eastern spread made with smoky red pepper and chopped nuts, ($8) that I picked up for later.

I decided to go all in for my order, so I went with the lox bagel sandwich ($14) on an everything bagel. This classic combo has a heritage all its own, so I was excited to see Baby’s take on the dish. Upon arrival, I could see that every crucial, colorful element was well-placed–this openfaced bagel sandwich is stacked high enough with smoked salmon, red onion, capers and dill that the latter’s green sprigs tickle your nose with each bite.

When you look at an everything bagel with lox and shmear, it’s easy to be intimidated by all those big flavor personalities assembled together. This combo is pretty easy to screw up, but damn if this wasn’t the most delightful bagel experience that I’ve had in recent memory. Even with an everything bagel—which can be a bit of a risk to the dish as a whole, depending on how much of everything gets on that bagel—this was incredibly well-balanced. The shemar is tart and creamy, the smoked salmon is fresh and bright, the capers add just the right snap of vinegary acid, the crunchy onions were understated enough to let the other flavors shine, and the fresh dill just wrapped everything up beautifully.

For fans of a diner-style breakfast sandwich, the egg and cheese bagel ($8) is a great way to indulge yourself. For an extra three bucks, you can add bacon or sausage, but either way, this is a solid entry in our local breakfast sando hall of fame. With both sandwiches, I couldn’t

help but notice how the bagel manages to shine while also being a delivery system of some pretty strong flavors; as a longtime sandwich lover, the rarity of this effect is not lost on me. This is what led me to take a half dozen bagels ($15) home with me for further study.

Referring back to the bagel’s staying power, I think the appeal here comes from the unique texture that comes from boiling the dough before it gets baked. A good bagel should capitalize on this unique process to get a chewy texture that has just a bit of crunch. I’m happy to say that Baby’s Bagels absolutely nails this. Whether you’re munching on one of these right out of the bag or slicing it in half for a dose of shmear or housemade muhammara, these have just the right amount of toothsome chewiness, and they are a joy to eat. The sesame seed and poppy seed bagels get a nice dose of subtle flavors and textures from their toppings—I love how the bagel is completely covered by its toppings, ensuring you get the good stuff on both halves.

All in all, Baby’s Bagels mixes all the elements of a great bakery and a great cafe to make something that is unique unto itself. I’ll always love a place that offers a welcoming space to enjoy fresh, tasty food, but being able to snag a half dozen or so bagels for breakfast, lunch and dinner throughout the week has major appeal. I went into Baby’s Bagels wondering how far one could actually stretch the bagel formula, but this cozy little bakery has helped me see bagels in a new light. CW

2 Row Brewing 6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Midnight Especial- Dark Mexican Lager

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Low Hanging PhruitNew Zealand Pilsner

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: Boho Extra Dry Lager

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing 2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: Collaboration with Cupla Coffee.  Tweek - Coffee Pale Ale

Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, S. Salt Lake

LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Sinday - Pale Ale

Level Crossing Brewing Co.,

POST

550 So. 300 West #100, SLC

LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Down the Road - West Coast IPA

Moab Brewing

686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Bulliet Bourbon barrelaged Brown

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC

MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Orange & Cardamom

Resolutions Cider: 6.9% Abv

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

BEER + PIZZA = <3

SUN-THU: 11am - 10pm • FRI-SAT: 11am - 11pm

550

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Gungan Sith Lord - Dark Lager

Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  La Playa-Mexican Style lager

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Barrel-Aged Imperial Vanilla Porter

Fisher Brewing Co. 320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Cowboy Lite - Smoked Pilsner

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State

Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center

Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC

RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Depths of Helles

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations

RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Cyclops Irish Stout

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake

SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Oatmeal Stout on Draft

Salt Flats Brewing

2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Luau Rider - Coconut Chocolate Milk Stout

Scion Cider Bar

Ogden Beer Company

358 Park Blvd, Ogden

OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Park City Brewery

1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: Jalapeno Ale

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing

25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: Cached Out Hefeweisen -- Now available to go!

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger

857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com

Proper Brewing: SLC PilsPilsner

Proper Burger: Salted Caramel Porter - Porter Brewed with Caramel and Salt

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: YRJB - Juicy IPA

Red Rock Brewing

254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery

1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Wasatch Apricot Hefeweizen – Fruited Wheat Beer

Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap:  Celestial Lineage, Kölsch. 4.6%

Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Bananza Hefeweizen

TF Brewing

936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Kiss From a Gose

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: The Griffen- Citrus Wheat Ale in collaboration with the 419th at Hill AFB

916 Jefferson St W, SLC

Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Scion Paradiso Pink Guava - 6.1% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek secondsummitcider.com

On Tap: Imperial, Dry cider with English apples

Shades Brewing

154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake

ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Foggy Goggle Winter Lager

Live Music:  Thursdays

Shades On State 366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Hellion Blonde Ale

Silver Reef

4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/ squatters

On Tap:  Salt Lake Brewing Co.’s Valley Girl West Coast IPA

Top of Main Brewing 250 Main, Park City, Utah topofmainbrewpub.com

On Tap: Top of Main’s Schirf Beer Helles Pale Lager

Uinta Brewing

1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Golden Grant 5% ABV.

Vernal Brewing

55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch Brew Pub 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/ wasatch

On Tap:  Top of Main’s Utah Beer

Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez

205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

Tall, Dark and Handsome

Two malty dreamboats to kick off March

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Fisher - Abs of Steel (7th Anniversary Ale): To help celebrate Fisher’s 7th year of making beer, the Fisher brew team came up with this special Belgianstyle abbey ale to offer-up something a little different for their customers.

This beer is dark with light brown highlights throughout, but I find it’s a slightly lighter-colored beer, with some reddish hues as well. There is definitely some sweetness to the aroma, but it’s different. Orange comes through, and the dried fruit aromas evoke white raisin in character with fresh apricot, as opposed to dark raisins and dried apricots. Nothing screams “licorice,” but the aroma seems spicier to me, with some cinnamon. It’s also very earthy, including some black tea.

The flavor is less complex. My initial impression is that I tend to enjoy Belgian-made beers more than American interpretations of Belgian-style ales. The malt sweetness and complexity to the beer does come close to more famous examples of the style, like Westmalle. The finish is also semi/dry, but I’m getting a bit of bitterness here, making for a multidimensional drinking experience. Some woody notes add a little vanilla, but there was no oak used in this 7.3 percent ale.

Verdict: This is a very good beer, but while none of the orange, licorice or spice notes jump out at you, this is a good thing. These additions manifest themselves subtly, never detracting from the beer and creating a unique flavor profile. For me, the malt profile of this beer—and the beer overall—is just as complex as other Belgian examples.

You’d probably have a tough time choosing either way.

Bewilder - Malt Lab Lager (Doppelbock): This new series of beers from Bewilder focuses on malt-driven beers and the unique grains that go into them. This brew is a Doppelbock that features a new malt from Bestmalz, called Black Malt. The bock was also aged on oak chips soaked in Madeira Port Wine. It pours with the expected opacity, carrying a quick-to-reduce half inch of beige foam. It’s a deep brown beer with a maroon cast, and has a thick, menacing look to it—but in a good way. Date, fig, raisin, plum, molasses and wine-laden breadiness dominate, plus some warm, deep alcohol and an elusive, blended tart yeastiness that is there if you search it; it really adds an alluring complexity to this aroma. Hard to stop sniffing this beer, as its full-strength bouquet is intoxicating and alluring. Sweet.

The taste is much more wine-forward than anticipated; in fact, it dominates the sip. But this beer is so big it has room for all flavors, while hiding none. During the course of warming, all of the flavors in the aroma combine and shine, and it is a wonderful thing to have this morphing mix of strong flavors. The wine notes go far, making it pleasingly sweet and no more than that. The 10.0 percent alcohol spice adds immeasurably to the wine notes, and goes a long way to drying the end of the sip, which otherwise might be overly sweet. There’s a fullish, semi-oily mouthfeel with moderate carbonation. I’m not particularly familiar with Madeira, but I assume it provides the wine-like character that really takes over the finish along with some toffee, oak and fruit skins.

Verdict: This Madeira barrel-aged Malt Lab is another solid entry to Bewilder’s lineup. I continue to enjoy the exploration of different barrels that Bewilder has taken me on. As with all of their special batch ales, this is well worth a try if you get the opportunity.

These malty dreamboats are available now, and are perfect for enjoying right away or laying a few away in your cellar for the holidays or a special occasion. As always, cheers! CW

MIKE RIEDEL

MIKE RIEDEL

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Ladies Night at Proper Brewing

With International Women’s day coming up, the folks at Proper Brewing (857 S. Main Street) will be hosting a Ladies Night event on March 8. In addition to celebrating the feminine mystique, the event will be raising funds for Planned Parenthood Utah, Equality Utah and The Refuge Utah. While attendees are raising money for reproductive rights, they’ll be enjoying some great drink specials and entertainment. The event lasts from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., but attendees are invited to hang out for an after-party; the bar will be open. What better way to honor the women in your life than to fight for their bodily autonomy?

Cocktail Class at The Grand America

If you only thought there was one kind of martini, it’s probably a good time to brush up on your mixology skills. Lucky for you, The Grand America will be hosting a cocktail class on March 7. This class will take place in the posh Earl’s Lounge, one of the hotel’s swanky reception halls, and professional mixologists from the hotel’s restaurants will be on hand to shed light on any martini mysteries that might be on your mind. The class will focus on four different martinis, including the tequila-forward lover-tini to the gin-infused—ginfused?—orange-tini. Class begins at 5:30 p.m.—don’t be late!

National Noodle Month at JINYA Ramen Bar

Did you know March was International Noodle Month? I didn’t either, but this revelation has me completely rearranging my monthly dinner plans. I just might start things off with a visit to my local JINYA (jinyaramenbar.com) for one of their specials. From now until May 31, all JINYA locations will be serving a spicy garlic mabo men, which is a heap of noodles topped with a combo of silken tofu simmered with fermented bean paste and ground pork; fans of the Sichuan mapo tofu take note! They’ll also be serving a salmon don, which consists of marinated salmon over steamed rice—not necessarily a noodle dish, but tasty nonetheless.

Quote of the Week: “Noodles are not only amusing but delicious.” –Julia Child

BY WES LONG

By the end of City Weekly’s 29th year, we had turned another corner.

“In two weeks’ time, I’ll be leaving the building as editor of City Weekly” wrote Jerre Wroble for the May 9 issue in 2013. “But before your mind drops down the rabbit hole of, ‘Yet another journalism defector, another sign of the end,’ rest assured, it’s not that dire. After a decade at City Weekly, and four years as editor, it’s just time for a change.”

Leaving Scott Renshaw, Stephen Dark and Rachel Piper to take up the editorial reins, Wroble expressed pride for the human touch that City Weekly offered in contrast to larger, impersonal media organizations.

“If you phone or stop by our offices, you’ll likely speak with Elly Green, stationed at our front desk,” she wrote. “If you have an advertising question or issue, you can speak to a real human being: Andy Sutcliffe, our general manager, or Jennifer Van Grevenhof, our ad manager. Need a copy of an invoice sent to you? Ask for Cody Winget. Want to request a newspaper rack for your shop? Phone Larry Carter.” These and other members of the CW family—including digital editor Bill Frost, reporters Eric Peterson and Austen Diamond, blogger Colin Wolf and proofreaders Kolbie Stonehocker and John Paul Brophy—ensured dedication and heart in all areas of the paper’s operations.

“Do keep reading,” Wroble concluded, “The best is yet to come.”

Wroble’s exhortation was a needed round-off to a busy year of reporting, a year that was itself full of bends and turns—and not very encouraging ones at that.

The stupidity and spleen of the 2012 presidential election were widespread, as was fear-mongering over the Affordable Care Act. A reactionary Legislature hunkered down with measures on guns, public lands, voter ID laws and downsizing the Radiation Control Board, stacking it with members friendly to mining, fuel and manufacturing.

Our chunky, adulterated air was enough of a concern that the state introduced a colorcoded air quality system and the notion— which physicians criticized—that pollution was more OK for certain age groups than others. Not only was the air being poisoned, but the lands and waters as well, as with an oil spray in Woods Cross and a Chevron oil spill in Willard Bay.

The shooting at Connecticut’s Sandy Hook Elementary shocked the nation and renewed debate over assault weapons, causing most of Utah’s sheriffs to lose their collective minds in protest. Speaking of questionable priorities, the Nexstar company took over ABC4 and fired at least 15 staffers right before Christmas, and scandal arose over the alleged role that Attorney General John Swallow played in businessman Jeremy Johnson’s attempt to bribe his way out of a Federal Trade Commission probe.

Other stories provided intriguing turns to the restless soul. Stephen Dark’s stories were varied and insightful, writing on the incarcerated mentally ill as well as a questionable audit initiated by Lt. Gov. Greg Bell. Carolyn Campbell lent a humane look at the life of an exotic dancer, Steven Rosenfeld provided a history of the National Rifle Association and Eric Peterson wrote a firsthand account of a local man shot down by police in front of the City Weekly offices after threatening to detonate a bomb. This year also saw the debut of our website’s ticket store and tributes to deceased locals such as lawyer Brian Barnard, educator/journalist Milton Hollstein (1926-2012) and ex-cop/CW music blogger Lane Heaps (1961-2012).

Remembering Vol. 29: In the shadows

“It was all pretty funny double-agent play until Feb. 26, 2012, when Trayvon Martin was killed,” wrote Katharine Biele on May 23. “That’s when the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) blipped onto the national radar, big time. The death of that young, hooded black man by neighborhood-watch volunteer George Zimmerman brought Florida’s ‘Stand Your Ground’ law to light, and with it the people and corporations who helped shepherd it to passage.”

Touting itself as a nonpartisan organization of state legislators “that favors federalism and conservative public-policy solutions,” ALEC had been identified with 800 pieces of legislation modeled by corporations, from vouchers and health care to immigration, private prisons and public safety. Founded in 1973 by conservative Paul Weyrich (of Heritage Foundation fame), ALEC developed task forces to operate as lone think tanks, calling for input from corporations like AT&T and Koch companies.

“We’ve been trying to get the state to pull out of these organizations forever,” Claire Geddes said of ALEC for Biele’s July 11 story. “Our government has gone so far wrong that they believe this is right—and it’s fascism. Everyone talks about socialism, but we’re promoting corporations above the individual, and people ought to be horrified.”

“Instead,” Biele reported, “Utah has put out the welcome mat for ALEC, which is holding its 39th-annual meeting in Salt Lake City from July 25 to July 28.” Held at the Grand America, Gov. Gary Herbert greeted attendees inside while protesters gathered outside. Veterans for Peace organizer Aaron Davis gave a crash-course on ALEC, an anti-ALEC conference by Alliance for a Better Utah was held a block away, street theater skits were staged in opposition to the convention, and an ALEC Critical Mass Bike Swarm descended upon the event.

“The Empty Plate Banquet was perhaps the most poignant protest,” wrote Clee Paul Ames in a Sept. 20 letter. “While the ALEC crowd of corporate dignitaries, GOP legislators of Utah and lobbyists dined in a five-star-hotel’s dining rooms, protesters held the Empty Plate Banquet outside, where empty plates at tables symbolized the increasing poverty among the shrinking middle class and growing poor across America, largely due to the policies authored and implemented by those dining in posh splendor.”

Providing “off-the-shelf” legislation, ALEC facilitated states offering up laws as a template for others. Responsible for “stand your ground” laws, limiting or outright abolishing parole, voter ID laws, “right to work” measures and penalties for animal activism, the organization found an early champion in Utah with former state Sen. William “Bill” Barton, who viewed the organization as in keeping with the purpose of the American founding, as he conceived it: “People in search of profit.”

Amid worries that legislation was being manufactured by a private organization like ALEC, state Rep. Ken Ivory dismissed the fears as “ridiculous,” saying that whatever the origins of a bill, it still needed to go through a public process to be passed. For Ivory, the organization was a meeting of shared interests, lighted by the glow of a

“states’ rights” federalism. “And yet ALEC’s influence is indisputable, its motivations suspect,” Biele replied. “Ivory draws a straight line from the model legislation of ALEC to the halls of the Capitol; he’s apparently not enough of a conspiracy theorist to see all the arterial paths.”

In September 2021, ALEC returned to Salt Lake City for its 48th annual meeting, wherein Gov. Spencer Cox extolled the virtues of “the Utah Way.”

In time

Whether interviewing Pete Funaro of Diamond Lil’s, Kamas Theater owners Kevin and Sheree Harris or Sonya Richins of Save the Wild Mustangs, the “Five Spot” served as an enlightening look into the works and words of Utah’s diverse denizens.

Among many notable interviews was one conducted by Kolbie Stonehocker with historian John McCormick for the Sept. 20 issue of 2012. With John Sillito, McCormick co-authored A History of Utah Radicalism the previous year and had been lecturing on the subject at the University of Utah.

“If you ask somebody in 1910 whether they [were] aware that there were socialists in Utah who were running for office and being elected to office, holding regular meetings on street corners and at Liberty Park, etc., they would say ‘yes,’” McCormick explained. “If you ask people today, they usually say ‘no.’” He called this “disappearing knowledge,” a phenomenon which warps the view history as the vital details of the past die out with those who lived them.

Tracing Utah’s radicalism from the Mormon pioneers—whom McCormick deemed “utopian socialists” for their communitarian practices—to the state’s socialist and communist parties of the early 20th century and the social democratic and Occupy movements, he posited a multifaceted state with a future that was hardly set in stone.

“Utah right now is very conservative,” he said. “People oversimplify not only Utah’s present, but past. Utah has always been a very complex place. It’s never been the story of one people and one point of view. … If you think of it as complex in the past, that leads you to a different conclusion about the present and future than if you think about it as [a] relatively uncomplicated place.”CW

SLC Punk

Local bands to check out if you’re a punk-lover

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

Every music genre you look at boasts a history full of weird lore, interesting facts and fascinating stories regarding how different sounds came about. Punk is a genre that you could spend days reading up on—from its origins in NYC in the mid-’70s, to pioneers of the genre like the Ramones, Lou Reed and Suicide, there’s plenty to talk about when it comes to punk music and its subculture.

Punk of course also holds a special place in SLC’s heart because of the 1998 classic SLC Punk!, starring the national treasure that is Matthew Lillard. A quarter-century later, it’s still consistently high on lists of “must-watch” movies about music and SLC. While there’s some incredible history surrounding the genre and the Beehive State, there’s also plenty of punk to enjoy today from local bands. If you’re a fan of the genre and need fresh tunes to listen to, here are some local punks to add to your library ASAP.

Worlds Worst: What’s more punk than calling yourself the world’s worst at something? All jokes aside, Worlds Worst is an upand-coming punk group in SLC which is rapidly gaining popularity despite their short time on the scene; they were voted one of the top new bands of 2023 by Stareogum last year. “Worlds Worst’s self-deprecating name is a testament to their devotion to bleak, jaded lyricism: ‘I grow tired/ Trying to figure out what debt to pay,’ vocalist Andrew Aronson drawls on the catchy ‘Long Con.’ Despite the theme of monotony, the grungy sound on their eponymous debut album

is imbued with color and personality, especially on the centerpiece ‘Challenger,’ an earworm packed with warm, energetic instrumentation,” Stereogum wrote of the band. Their latest self-titled album is infectious and addicting, and it’s easy to get lost in the apathy and heavy guitar. Find Worlds Worst wherever you listen to music, and follow them on Instagram @ worlds_worst.

Ideal Horizon: Once you start looking into bands of a certain genre, you’ll start to see different subgenres pop up, and understand how different groups interpret the sound. Young SLC group Ideal Horizon classify themselves as punk/alt-rock, but you don’t have to go searching for that punk sound; it’s there immediately upon pressing play. Ideal Horizon’s sound is playful and fun, but still goes hard, which is probably something you’re looking for in your punk music. Their songs are anthemic enough that it’s easy to get them stuck in your head as you scream at the top of your lungs while jamming out. Between the ripping guitar solos and heavy, driving rhythm, you’ll be coming back for seconds and thirds. Ideal Horizon has great hits like “Only Me” and “Take Away” out now, but have recently posted on Instagram that more is on the way. Follow them @idealhorizonofficial for updates and listen wherever you get your music.

The Zissous: If you’re into a more classic punk sound, you’ll feel right at home with The Zissous. The band is clearly inspired by the greats like the Ramones, so listening to them is a comfort, but they’re fresh enough to make you feel delighted and not like you’re hearing something you’ve already heard a million times. The Zissous are one of those bands with (as

MUSIC

of yet) a criminally short library, and you hope to see new tunes from them every time you get online. They have posted recently that they’re working on their debut album, so hopefully we’ll see that this year. Follow The Zissous @thezissous and find them wherever you listen to music.

Wicked Bears: This trio is perfect for those who love the pop-punk subgenre. Their sound hearkens back to everything that’s great about ’90s pop-punk; the energy, lyricism, catchiness and cleverness are reasons to run, not walk, to listen to Wicked Bears. Their 2023 album Underwater is a romp from beginning to end. Plus, SLC gets a special shout out on the opening track of the album, and how often can you say that happens? Wicked Bears are still riding high from this release, and can be seen at shows around town, so be sure not to miss them next time they’re out. Follow them @wicked-

bears on Instagram, and find their music anywhere you stream.

Bonus: Punk’s Not Dead, It’s Hidden by Landon Hale: If you’re a bookworm, love a good coffee table book, love music photography, or any of the above, you’ll dig photographer Landon Hale’s book Punk’s Not Dead, It’s Hidden. The book is a documentation aimed at preserving the culture of punk, hardcore and DIY in SLC, featuring some amazing shots and highlighting the uniqueness and badassery of the local punk community.

As punk rock reaches its 50-year mark, it’s fascinating to look back at its rich history, and listen to bands who are inspired by the greats. Plus, it never gets old knowing that SLC has its place in the cultural zeitgeist of the genre. If you had a hankering for some fresh punk tunes, these locals will more than scratch that itch. CW

BONNEVILLE JONES

MUSIC PICK S

Young Dubliners HUNTER KILPATRICK

Young Dubliners @ The Depot 3/8

Young Dubliners provide the proof that tradition can actually be ageless when dedication and devotion are involved. Their name is a play on that of the age-old Irish folk band, The Dubliners, but, in fact, that’s the only sound connections fans of either band will find. That said, Young Dubliners maintain that Celtic connection through a rowdy, rambunctious sound that takes its cue from the likes of such disparate influences as U2, Thin Lizzy, Waterboys, Big Country and the Pogues. While lead singer and rhythm guitarist Keith Roberts remains the only remaining member of the original outfit, their forthright approach—combining a traditional template with contemporary credence—remains intact. This isn’t the first time the band has visited our realms; in 2002, they performed at the Winter Olympics here in Salt Lake City. They also claim some high-profile associations. Elton John’s lyricist Bernie Taupin wrote the words for the title track of their 2000 release Red, while Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson contributed his frenzied flute work to an instrumental track on a later release, Real World. But the truest indication that they had hit the big time came when Killian’s beer used a song from their album Absolutely in a commercial, and even offered the band a sponsorship deal that included a Killian’s branded tour bus. It’s been more than 10 years since the release of a new album, but one can be assured their anthemic outreach remains intrinsically intact. Young Dubliners perform at The Depot at 7 p.m. on Friday, March 8. Tickets cost $25 - $40 at concerts.livenation.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

MUSIC PICK S

Get Lucky @ The Great Saltair 3/8-9

Get Lucky

Centuries ago, there lived a saint named Patrick. His feast day has become synonymous with a day of festivities and all sorts of debauchery, where all the world embraces a bit of the luck of the Irish. In Salt Lake City, the largest celebration of St. Patrick’s Day is the Get Lucky Festival. This two-day rave has been ongoing for more than a decade, as The Great Saltair becomes a magical place where fantasy and fairytale take over through vibrant color and sound. V2 Presents does not disappoint this year with its lineup of top acts. One can expect lots of drum-&-bass this year, with artists like DJs Aweminus and Chase & Status. However, the best part of larger two-day raves such as this is that there is a variety across all subgenres of electronic dance music: the minimalistic rhythmic elements of riddim, with a heavy emphasis on chords, melodies and experimental sounds from Ace Aura; the melodic bass of Skybreak and Dab the Sky; the dubstep and future bass from Bear Grillz, Canabliss, Dabin, Said the Sky and Flux Pavilion. Destructo, Dillon Francis and Dr. Fresch will be sure to bring their brands that weave together elements of hip-hop and rap with trap––meaning there is so much to choose from! Together, attendees will discover that the true treasure lies not at the end of the rainbow, but in the journey with friends (old and new) through Get Lucky. Rain or shine, the Great Saltair will be packed with endless fun. This is an 18+ event that goes from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. Friday, March 8 and Saturday, March 9. A two-day pass is $130 ,while single-day passes for Friday or Saturday cost $70. For tickets go to eventbrite. com (Arica Roberts)

12-3:30

4-6 6-9 9-2AM

12-3:30

4-6 6-9 9-2AM

SAINT PATRICK’SLineUp

MARCH 16

MISI & RICHY MURPHY & THE GIANT

RED SHOT PONY

DJ STYLE

MARCH 17

MISI & RICHY MURPHY & THE GIANT

RED SHOT PONY

DJ GEOVANTE

MUSIC PICK S

World’s Worst

The Lip, Casio Ghost, The Drought @ The DLC 3/8

There’s something about reggae that puts you in a good mood. Well, puts me in a good mood anyway, I don’t know about you. It’s hard to feel upset or angry listening to the chill, off beats and moderate tempos. It’s the perfect way to drift off and be somewhere else for a while, even if it’s just mentally. SLC reggae group The Lip describe themselves as “Coloradan reggae enthusiasts,” so there’s elements of the Mountain West blended in with the Jamaican origins. Their most recent single “Rockin” is a great blend of reggae and rock. This and the rest of their library will have you swaying with the music as soon as you press play. Also on for the night is beloved SLC psych-surf group Casio Ghost, whose latest album Postmodern Blues is chock full of trippy, wave-riding sound. Last but not least, The Drought are joining the party. The Drought have been busy all winter playing excellent, exciting shows, so seeing them will be a treat. Head out to The DLC on Friday, March 8 for a good time. Tickets for the 21+ show are $10 and can be found at 24tix.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

Arlo Parks @ The Complex 3/12

I first heard Arlo Parks when “Black Dog” was released, and I absolutely loved it—something about the way the chords were strummed, the vocal delivery and the a hint of a post-punk vibe. The song shows us that you can do this soft, hushed thing with a bit of an edge. It completely took me by surprise and stopped me in my tracks. Parks’ debut, the Grammy-nominated Collapsed in Sunbeams, won the Mercury Prize for LP of the year in 2021. Her second studio album, My Soft Machine, dropped in 2023, and showcased moments of real wonder. At just 23, she already demonstrates a top-tier ability to turn a phrase. “My drive, ambition, discipline all comes from me. But also my doubt and workaholism. I’m the source of it all,” Parks told The Independent. “(I get) too caught up in lovely words, like when I was a kid with a thesaurus. I’m always having to ask myself: what’s this song about? Where is it going?” Being tagged the voice of a generation might be good for headlines, but it’s also a lot of unwelcome pressure to deliver. She’s not doing anything status-quo or contrived, just little snapshots of her generation that are almost like a document. Chloe George opens. Catch these musicians as KRCL presents the My Soft Machine Tour at the Complex on Tuesday, March 12. Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $30 and can be found at thecomplexslc.com (Mark Dago)

ELO Tribute @ Metro Music Hall 3/13

I have loved ELO since I bought a greatest hits disc of theirs back in the day, knowing them only as the group that did “Mr. Blue Sky.” ELO sounded like it looked—Wings-era Paul McCartney with a perm instead of a mullet, and a spaceship. I find that there is something quite fascinating about co-founder and leader of Electric Light Orchestra Jeff Lynne’s melodies, and even if one concedes that ELO is a cheesy, guilty pleasure at best, “Livin’ Thing” is 110% awesome. ELO tribute band Ticket to the Moon was founded by Reggie Facteau, and is often regarded as one of the best professional tribute acts. While artists covering songs is as old as rock itself, over the past couple of decades the tribute industry has become its own niche, and a business through which the greats of the past are presented to new generations of fans. Come on out and sign-a-long to classics such as “Turn to Stone,” “Don’t Bring Me Down” and “Telephone Line” (as well as, I’m sure, many … many others). I’ve seen several tribute bands, and it’s quite moving to see how much these songs meant to everyone. It feels like they’re keeping an important shared culture alive in many ways. Hating ELO is like hating fun: Sure, you can do it, but it isn’t going to impress anyone. Catch this experience at Metro Music Hall on Wednesday, March 13. Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $25 and can be found at 24tix.com (Mark Dago)

ALEX KURUNIS

VIA INSTAGRAM

Arlo Parks

THURSDAYS

FRIDAY, MAR 8

DJ CELLYCEL

SATURDAY, MAR 9

DJ NO FILTER

SHARK SUNDAYS POOL TOURNEY HOSTED BY TANNER

MONDAYS

REGGAE MONDAY WITH DJ NAPO

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS KARAOKE

CozyUpOn Our HeatedPatio! Our HeatedPatio!

Live Music

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 6

THE BACKYARD REVIVAL

SATURDAY, MAR. 9 SUPERBUBBLE

THURSDAY, MAR. 7 REGGAE THURSDAY SKUMBUDZ & THE LIP

TUESDAY, MAR. 12 JON O RADIO

FRIDAY, MAR.8 BEN WEISS & THE HALF PELICAN

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 13 THEORETICAL BLONDE

Managed Services Architect for Outbox Systems, Inc. dba Simplus in Salt Lake City, UT implement systems; identify & communicate business requirements; create documents for Business Requirements, Solutions Design, Functional Specifications, Data Mapping & Training; create workflow rules, validation rules, objects, fields, custom settings & configuration setups; conduct system validation; facilitate user acceptance testing Bachelor’s in Information Technology + 2 yrs of exp in job off’d req’d Respond AC/ Simplus PO Bx 4241 NYC 10163

Senior Preconstruction Manager sought by The Haskell Company for the Salt Lake City location. Candidate must have a Bach’s deg in Civil Engg, Surveying Mgmt, or closely related field & 3 yrs of exp (full 36 months) must incl planning, managing & coord’g preconstruction projects & contracts; leading a team of professionals; prep’g & reviewing construction budget estimates & schedules; & utilizing Revit, MS Excel, & s/ware tools for estimating & scheduling. To apply: send resume to Kristen.Obrien@haskell.com.

Data Operation Engr (DOE-SV) in Midvale, UT. Resp for data infrastructure components (admin of Big Data Hadoop Clusters, upgrade, perf tuning, monitor ntwk components, dvlp auto to manage & monitor infrastructure, create & publish doc, support other groups, enable & support new data initiatives as req.) Telecommuting permitted from any approved states in U.S. BS followed by 5yrs prog rltd exp. Send resumes to Zions Bancorporation at ZionsCareers@zionsbancorp.com. Must reference job title & code in subject line.

free will ASTROLOGY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads.” So wrote Aries author Erica Jong. Is that true? Is it hard to access the fullness of our talents? Must we summon rare courage and explore dark places? Sometimes, yes. To overcome obstacles that interfere with ripening our talents, there may be tough work to do. I suspect the coming weeks and months will be one of those phases for you, Aries. But here’s the good news: I predict you will succeed.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

In October 1879, Thomas Edison and his research team produced the first electric light bulb that was viable enough to be of practical use. In September 1882, Edison opened the first power plant on the planet, enabling people to light their homes with the new invention. That was a revolutionary advance in a very short time. Dear Taurus, the innovations you have been making and I hope will continue to make are not as monumental as Edison’s. But I suspect they rank high among the best and brightest in your personal life history. Don’t slack off now. There’s more work to be done—interesting, exciting work!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I watched as the Thai snake charmer kissed a poisonous cobra, taming the beast’s danger with her dancing hands. I beheld the paramedic dangle precariously from a helicopter to snag the woman and child stranded on a rooftop during a flood. And in my dream, I witnessed three of my Gemini friends singing a dragon to sleep, enabling them to ramble freely across the bridge the creature had previously forbidden them to traverse.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

The horoscopes you are reading have been syndicated in publications all over the world: the U.S., Italy, France, Japan, Canada, Mexico, Australia, Netherlands, Russia, Cambodia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Venezuela, Ireland and Finland. Yet it has never appeared in a publication in the U.K., where there are over 52 million people whose first language is English—the same as mine. But I predict that will change in the coming months: I bet a British newspaper or website will finally print Free Will Astrology. I prophesy comparable expansions in your life, too, fellow Cancerian. What new audiences or influences or communities do you want to be part of? Make it happen!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Author Jean-Dominique Bauby wrote, “Today it seems to me that my whole life was nothing but a string of small near misses.” If you have endured anything resembling that frustration, Leo, I have good news: The coming months won’t bring you a string of small near misses. Indeed, the number of small near misses will be very few, maybe even zero. Instead, I predict you will gather an array of big, satisfying completions. Life will honor you with bull’s eyes, direct hits, and master strokes. Here’s the best way you can respond to your good fortune and ensure the arrival of even more good fortune: Share your wealth!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Virgo advice expert Cheryl Strayed wrote some rather pushy directions I will borrow and use for your horoscope. She and I say, “You will never have my permission to close yourself off to love and give up. Never. You must do everything you can to get what you want and need, to find ‘that type of love.’ It’s there for you.” I especially want you to hear and meditate on this guidance right now, Virgo. Why? Because I believe you are in urgent need of re-dedicating yourself to your heart’s desire. You have a sacred duty to intensify your imagination and deepen your willpower as you define what kind of love and tenderness and togetherness you want most.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Author Adam Alter writes, “Perfect success is boring and uninspiring, and abject failure is exhausting and demoralizing. Somewhere between these extremes is a sweet spot

that maximizes long-term progress.” And what is the magic formula? Alter says it’s when you make mistakes an average of 16 percent of the time and are successful 84 percent. Mistakes can be good because they help you learn and grow. Judging from your current astrological omens, Libra, I’m guessing you’re in a phase when your mistake rate is higher than usual—about 30 percent. (Though you’re still 70 percent successful!) That means you are experiencing expanded opportunities to learn all you can from studying what doesn’t work well. (Adam Alter’s book is Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Sometimes you Scorpios are indeed secretive, as traditional astrologers assert. You understand that knowledge is power, and you build your potency by gathering information that other people don’t have the savvy or the resources to access. But it’s also true that you Scorpios may appear to be secretive when in fact you have simply perceived and intuited more than everyone else wants to know. They might be overwhelmed by the deep, rich intelligence you have acquired—and would actually prefer to be ignorant of it. So you’re basically hiding stuff they want you to hide. Anyway, Scorpio, I suspect now is a time when you are loading up even more than usual with juicy gossip, inside scoops, tantalizing mysteries, taboo news and practical wisdom that few others would be capable of managing. Please use your superpowers with kindness and wisdom.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Here’s a little-known fact about me: I am the priest, wizard, rabbi and pope of Parish No. 31025 in the Universal Life Church. One of my privileges in this role is the ability to perform legal marriages. It has been a few years since I presided over anyone’s wedding, but I am coming out of semi-retirement to consecrate an unprecedented union. It’s between two aspects of yourself that have not been blended but should be blended. Do you know what I’m referring to?

Before you read further, please identify these two aspects. Ready? I now pronounce you husband and wife, or husband and husband, or wife and wife, or spouse and spouse—or whatever you want to be pronounced.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

“You don’t have to suffer to be a poet,” said poet John Ciardi. “Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.” I will add that adolescence is enough suffering for everyone, even if they’re not a poet. For most of us, our teenage years brought us streams of angst, self-doubt, confusion and fear—sufficient to last a lifetime. That’s the bad news, Capricorn. The good news is that the coming months will be one of the best times ever for you to heal the wounds left over from your adolescence. You may not be able to get a total cure, but 65 percent is very possible. Seventy-five percent isn’t out of the question. Get started!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

A psychic once predicted that I would win a Grammy award for my music. She said my dad and mom would be in the audience, smiling proudly. Well, my dad died four years ago, and I haven’t produced a new album of songs for over 10 years. So that Grammy prophecy is looking less and less likely. I should probably give up hope that it will come to pass. What about you, Aquarius? Is there any dream or fantasy you should consider abandoning? The coming weeks would be a good time to do so. It could open your mind and heart to a bright future possibility now hovering on the horizon.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

I invite you to entertain the following theory: Certain environments, companions and influences enhance your intelligence, health and ability to love—while others either do the opposite or have a neutral effect. If that’s true, it makes good sense for you to put yourself in the presence of environments, companions and influences that enhance you. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to test this theory. I hope you will do extensive research and then initiate changes that implement your findings.

urban LIVING

WITH BABS DELAY

Broker,

Celebs Love Us

Moviemakers and celebrities love Utah for so many reasons. The natural beauty of our Mighty 5 national park vistas is a huge draw. Our workforce is well-versed in all things movieand TV-making, and Utah offers tax incentives for films to be made here.

In the past decade, Utah saw $600 million in movie revenue brought to the state, with $300 million going to rural communities. Those in the industry call us “Little Hollywood” and the proof is in the pudding with so many successful films and TV series created here over the years.

To learn more about our film history, you can ride the 200 UTA bus to the Utah Capitol and check out the free “100 Years of Utah Film & Television” exhibit on the fourth floor. It’s on display until December 2024.

ACROSS

1. Serene

5. Ride back to the hotel, perhaps

8. Astronomer Tycho ___

13. Two-tone snack

14. 1993 Texas standoff city

15. “Star Wars” director

16. Mae or Jerry

17. Peas, to a peashooter

18. In the dark

19. Bean for baseball’s Bryce?

22. Pass, as time

24. Travels by boat

25. “This could be the ___ ...”

27. “CSI” material

28. Family-friendly film ratings

31. Cabbage salad served at universities?

33. Actress Lucy

34. Stylized

35. Reno-to-Spokane dir.

36. “Knights of Cydonia” band

37. “La ___” (Debussy composition)

38. Just heated up?

42. “Gangnam Style” performer

43. Letter from Homer

44. Walk like a zombie

org.

11. “Days Are Gone” band

46. “Li’l Abner” creature that looks like a white blob with a mustache

Some of the more famous films that have been shot here include: Napoleon Dynamite, Footloose, The Sandlot, High School Musical, Dumb and Dumber, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Doctor Who: The Impossible Astronaut, Star Trek (2009), Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Legally Blonde 2, Thelma and Louise, Planet of the Apes and Independence Day, just to name a few.

Numerous TV shows have also been filmed here, including Touched by an Angel, Andi Mack, Big Love, Westworld, Grizzly Adams, Yellowstone and, of course, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Kevin Costner is in the process of building a film studio in St. George at a cost of $40 million on 500 acres near the new airport. He loves Utah’s scenery and has just shot two films of a four-part series called Horizon: An American Saga

Apparently, Costner has had issues filming interior scenes in his movies here and will build two sound studios, a production warehouse, offices and even a “Costner-themed” restaurant to further his investment here in the state. Previously, he shot the first three seasons of Yellowstone in the Park City area.

As far as celebrities go, Post Malone was rumored to be leaving Utah but, in a recent statement on X, he said, “I’m not moving out of Utah, y’all.”

Rapper NBA YoungBoy Never Broke Again just listed his home in Olympus Cove for $5.5 million. The almost 9,000-square-foot mansion on 1.46 acres features a five-car garage and a pool with unobstructed views of the Salt Lake Valley.

He’d been confined to his home for the past two years by the court while awaiting a federal trial but is ready to get the hell out of here now.

Whitney Rose (of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City) and her husband, Justin, have sold their $2.1 million home in Daybreak with their hidden “speakeasy” bar after it was on the market for only a month. They have announced that they’ve purchased another home in Utah. n

45. Some DVD players

47. “And Still ___” (Maya Angelou book)

48. Like home renovation shows that overdo the wood siding?

52. Video game character with his own Maker

53. Prefix with dextrous

54. Proton’s place

58. Signing off on

59. Overwhelming victory

60. Donated

61. Talkative, slangily

62. ___-Tiki (Heyerdahl craft)

63. Shiraz location

DOWN

1. Nursery rhyme jumper

2. “... but few ___ chosen”

3. “___ Misérables”

4. Like some instincts

5. Use a tent

6. High points

7. With “The,” ‘90s British alt-rock band named for an American novel character

8. Sunday shopping restriction

9. Ladder components

10. “Because Freedom Can’t Protect Itself”

12. Italian family related to the Borgias

14. Battle-trained canine

20. Poker starter

21. Chinese tennis star with a very short name in English

22. Mall units

23. Meager

25. Playful rascal

26. Home of the Boston Red Sox

28. Examines, as depths

29. Brazilian supermodel Bündchen

30. Napped material

32. Pete Davidson’s show, once

36. Mentor in “The Karate Kid”

38. Vocabulary coinage, e.g.

39. 10,900-foot European peak

40. “Try to detect it! It’s not too late!” song

41. Publisher of Modern Maturity

45. They’re earned on “Press Your Luck”

48. Air impurifier

49. Maori dance popularized by some New Zealand rugby teams

50. Part of the eye around the pupil

51. Have ___ in the oven

55. Viscous goo

56. Eggs in labs

57. “___ Behaving Badly”

Last week’s answers

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Wait, How Many?

And you thought your glovebox full of unpaid parking tickets was impressive. WCMH NBC4 reported police detectives and patrol officers arrested Ahyoka Keith, aka Carol Ann Sumner, on Feb. 16, two weeks after she was charged with an astonishing 322 felonies and 327 misdemeanors by the Spring Township police department in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania. Keith is an over-theroad trucker, and her 649 warrants were related to the theft of thousands of dollars from a relative.

Not Getting It

A 42-year-old resident of Ajax, Ontario, was arrested and charged with impaired driving on Feb. 20 at the Durham Regional police station, where he had driven to complain ... about his arrest for public intoxication from earlier that morning. The man asked to speak with a supervisor when he arrived at the station, but officers noticed he seemed to be intoxicated, and, after confirming he had driven himself, issued a breathalyzer test, which the man failed. His license was suspended and his vehicle was impounded.

Need for Speed

The Hockenheimring racetrack in Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany, was the setting for a Guinness World Recordsetting run recently. The speed reached—92.24 mph— might not sound so impressive, but Fulda University engineering student Marcel Paul attained that velocity in a toy car. Paul spent 10 months modifying the miniature Porsche with the goal of beating the 88 mph made famous by the time-traveling DeLorean DMC-12 in the Back to the Future movies, and in the process, created the world’s fastest ride-on toy car. Said one user in the comments on Paul’s Instagram video of the milestone event: “Hell no, that looks dangerous.”

Bleepin’ Birds

Eight potty-mouthed parrots are set to rejoin the rest of their flock at the Lincolnshire Wildlife Park in Boston, United Kingdom, after zoo officials decided that recent efforts to help the dirty birds clean up their act in isolation had shown promise. Steve Nichols, who serves as chief executive of the park, still isn’t sure what will happen when the birds are reunited with their more well-behaved peers. “We could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands,” Nichols said. “Only time will tell.” For now, the park does not plan to take down its signs warning visitors of the potential for foul language.

Very Senior Year

It’s never too late to graduate, and Fred Allen Smalls of Georgetown, South Carolina, is proof. Smalls took the stage at Georgetown High School on Feb. 4, the day before his 106th birthday, to receive an honorary diploma that came to fruition largely due to the efforts of his granddaughter. Smalls completed eighth grade in the 1930s and moved to Washington, D.C., where he worked as a janitor and held several other jobs before beginning a career with the District of Columbia, eventually retiring during the John F. Kennedy administration. WPDE ABC 15 reported that the diploma was “something he’s wished for most of his life.” And the diploma wasn’t the first time Smalls made recent news: In 2023, ABC News recognized him as the oldest Philadelphia Eagles fan.

Sticky Situation

A coyote that found itself in an ironic predicament in mid-January has the Humane Animal Welfare Society (HAWS) and the Wildlife in Need Center (WINC) of Waukesha County, Wisconsin, to thank for its rescue— maybe with a little help from above? WDJT in Milwaukee reported that the coyote had gotten its head stuck inside a hollow statue of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, while chasing a rabbit. The coyote was spotted dragging the statue and working to free itself, but by the next day, the animal was exhausted and still trapped. HAWS located the coyote and transported it to WINC, where it was freed, treated for minor injuries and given the nickname “Frannie.”

Long-Term Lending

More and more libraries across the country have converted to fine-free lending, and that’s a very good thing for one patron of the Licking County Library in Ohio. WPDE ABC 15 in Columbus reported that an Instagram post shared by the library included video of a poetry book that recently had been returned—about 93 years late. The patron had found the “Heart Throbs” poetry collection at a relative’s house and discovered the due date card inside the front cover, last stamped “Nov 9 ‘31.” WPDE estimated the total fine would have been approximately $5,770.

Cemetery Shortcut

In the immortal words of Shaggy, “It wasn’t me.” The Lavonia (Georgia) Police Department wants residents to know that a chaotic scene in a local graveyard Feb. 20 had nothing to do with them. “In case you saw or heard the law enforcement commotion,” reads a post on the department’s Facebook page, “well, it wasn’t us.” The commotion in question? Deputies from the Oconee County Sheriff’s Office in neighboring South Carolina had chased a reckless driver across state lines and into the Lavonia City Burgess Cemetery, reports FOX 5 Atlanta. The driver—who was apparently “late for an appointment”—damaged several graves before attempting to flee on foot. Unsuccessfully.

Thong and Pony Show

Australian equestrian Shane Rose, a three-time Olympic medalist, decided to push the sartorial envelope on Feb. 11, competing in a skimpy mankini—the kind popularized by the 2006 movie Borat . In fairness, the annual Wallaby Hill Extravaganza in New South Wales is a costumed competition, where equestrians put horses through their paces in all kinds of wacky get-ups. Some even go through multiple costume changes, which was the case with Rose. As the Wallaby Hill Equestrian Centre put it on Facebook, Rose “truly showed us ‘all he’s got’ as he wore less and less with each horse he entered the arena with.” But someone complained about the mankini, USA Today reported, leading governing body Equestrian Australia to bar Rose from competing while it investigated. (Even rowdy Aussies must follow codes of conduct, after all.) For a few days, Rose’s 2024 Paris Olympics plans hung in the balance, but he was soon cleared of any wrongdoing. Let’s hope he changes clothes before heaving a big sigh of relief.

Animal Antics

n Caterina Sevares of Florida had a late-night craving for tacos on Feb. 13, so she did what many of us have probably done: She placed a DoorDash order and hopped in the shower while waiting for her food to be delivered. But when she opened the door to retrieve the Talkin’ Tacos delivery, Fox 35 reported that she was met by three masked bandits—a trio of racoons who got to her meal first, eating everything but the tortillas. Sevares began to film the carnage but retreated once the racoons started engaging—one stood up on its hind legs while the other two stared her down. “Once they started hissing, I shut the door so fast. I was like, ‘They can have the carne asada, it’s fine,’” Sevares said. Talkin’ Tacos caught wind of the bandits’ antics after Sevares’ story went viral on TikTok, and sent her a gift card for her troubles.

n Elsewhere in Florida, bears ransacked a woman’s car—and on Valentine’s Day, no less. Cassidy Simoes’ boyfriend left chocolates in the front seat of her car the night before, intending to give them to Simoes the next day. But NBC2 reported that at about 3:30 on Valentine’s morning, the couple woke up to find the car in bad shape: “Basically, the whole door panel, I can’t even open the door at all or roll the windows down, nothing,” Simoes said. No word on if the chocolates were replaced.