City Weekly October 5, 2023

Cover Story

By Carolyn Campbell

S AP

BOX

Unhinged Haley

I’m not a fan of Vivek Ramaswamy, one of the also-rans who’s made it to the “debate” phase of auditions for the vice-presidency or a cabinet slot in a notional second Donald Trump administration.

For the most part, neither Ramaswamy’s ideas nor his presentation impress me. But his demeanor has a way of usefully baiting the other Republican candidates into showing us who they really are.

The big reveal at the second “debate”—scare quotes because these events aren’t really debates, they’re just illegally large advertising donations that the Federal Election Commission turns a blind eye to—came from former South Carolina governor and former United Nations ambassador Nikki Haley, who has been having a moment as just maybe, possibly, an eensy teensy bit more likely than Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis to notch a distant second place to Trump in the GOP presidential primaries.

“TikTok,” Haley informed America by way of scolding Ramaswamy for setting up a campaign account on it, “is one of the most dangerous social media apps that we could have. ... 150 million people are on TikTok. That means [the Chinese owners] can get your contacts, they can get your financial information, they can get your emails, they can get text messages, they can get all of

these things. ... You are now wanting kids to go and get on this social media that’s dangerous for all of us.”

In the middle of all this, Haley let loose with what was, I suppose, intended as the zinger: “Every time I hear you, I feel a little bit dumber.”

Every time Haley speaks, she sounds a little bit dumber, but I doubt that’s Ramaswamy’s fault.

Nor is it Ramaswamy’s fault that she comes off as unhinged on the level of Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper, the fictional character who engineers a nuclear attack on the Soviet Union for “corrupting” his “precious bodily fluids” in the 1964 film Dr. Strangelove.

Is it possible that the Chinese regime gains access to American users’ data via TikTok? Of course it is.

We already know that the U.S. regime gains access to the data of Americans, and foreigners, via their use of apps and platforms domiciled in the U.S. We

know this because American hero Edward Snowden told us all about it nearly a decade ago.

Interestingly, Vivek Ramaswamy has pledged to “pardon” Snowden—currently exiled to Russia—for his noncrimes, one of his few truly attractive promises. Haley hasn’t.

It’s possible that Haley’s shrill and bellicose presentation is for real. Or maybe it’s just an act, a woman going over the top to prove that she’d be just as cluelessly belligerent in the Oval Office as any man.

Either way, voters shouldn’t allow her within 100 miles of the nuclear “football.”

THOMAS L. KNAPP

The William Lloyd Garrison Center for Libertarian Advocacy Journalism

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

I should win an award for the most valuable_______

Bill Frost

Rock shirt hoarder. I’ve lost track of how many I have, but I have enough Heavy Metal Shop T-shirts to cover a week of casual and formal affairs.

Katharine Biele

Procrastinator. With writing deadlines seared into my brain from years of journalism, I have discovered just how to procrastinate until the very end. It works until it doesn’t.

Wes Long

Moral support. I enjoy helping others, when I can, especially when they most need the uplift.

Kelly Boyce

Friend photographer/videographer. I love taking pictures of my friends for the memories and of course to have embarrassing photos of them when needed.

Eric Granato

Partner—because that’s what my girlfriend says.

Paula Saltas

Mother. Because I said so, and don’t question me.

Benjamin Wood

Typist? I can type like ... really fast.

BY CHRIS WHARTON

Back to the Future

Salt Lake City voters have a choice to make this November: Do we look backward, or do we keep moving forward together?

The most diverse City Council in our city’s history unanimously endorsed Mayor Erin Mendenhall for reelection—and for good reason. Mendenhall understands true allyship, and she works alongside us, even when we disagree, to deliver the best outcome possible.

I’ve known Mendenhall and her husband, Kyle LaMalfa—a data scientist at a financial tech company—for a long time. I know who Mendenhall is when the press is gone and the cameras aren’t rolling. I know how she treats employees, from entry-level positions to department heads. And I know how she centers others even when she could take the credit.

I can’t imagine a candidate who contrasts more with Mendenhall than Rocky Anderson.

Yes, Anderson has been an outspoken human rights advocate for decades. As a gay boy growing up in Utah, I appreciated that he was an early advocate for marriage equality nationally.

But locally, he targeted gay men for prosecution by weaponizing the SLCPD vice squad (now disbanded).

While Anderson fought for labor rights at the federal level, he was a legendarily cruel and difficult boss himself. In his first two years in office, he employed three chiefs of staff, four communications directors, three executive assistants and three Redevelopment Agency directors. By

the end of his eight years as mayor, he had employed nine communications directors and five chiefs of staff. Taxpayers footed the bill for legal settlements with two of his former employees.

In contrast, Mendenhall has had one chief of staff, two communications directors (the first was promoted after maternity leave), two executive assistants (the first went to grad school, and they remain dear friends), and one Redevelopment Agency director.

Anderson also picked fights with everybody—the city council, the state Legislature, members of Utah’s federal delegation, the White House, and even his own staff. He had city employees compile a dossier on a reporter he didn’t like, and he cut ties entirely with one of the biggest news outlets in the state.

He attacked and threatened to run against his successor, former Mayor Ralph Becker, and then did the same again to former Mayor Jackie Biskupski.

He suggested Salt Lake County Mayor Jenny Wilson couldn’t be both a mayor and a mom. He said Sen. Luz Escamilla, D-Salt Lake City, shouldn’t be mayor because of her religious views.

He left the Democratic Party in 2011 to run a fringe campaign against Barack Obama, and he later helped Jill Stein torpedo the election of Hillary Clinton for president. Mendenhall doesn’t attack when she disagrees—she builds bridges to find common ground. That’s what it takes to make lasting, sustainable progress in deeply red Utah.

None of the biggest issues facing Salt Lake City stop at the city’s borders—air quality, homelessness, affordable housing, the Great Salt Lake, equity initiatives, even crime. All of them require the cooperation of neighboring cities and other levels of government as earnest partners, not political opponents.

Some might suggest that Anderson’s “telling it like it

is” style is what Salt Lake City needs—that being civil doesn’t get the job done.

But to me, the results show otherwise. Mayor Mendenhall shows us that we can fight for our progressive values and deliver big results without alienating everyone along the way.

Affordable housing units have increased by 413%. We’ve made it easier for residents—and especially westsiders—to access public transit. We’re building a new regional park in Glendale and making unprecedented upgrades to parks citywide.

We’ve taken aggressive steps to help save the Great Salt Lake, and because of Mendenhall’s leadership, we’re finally on track to get net-100% renewable energy by 2030.

We’ve made long-overdue improvements to infrastructure, making our streets safer for pedestrians, cyclists and drivers.

And even though our work is unfinished, our city is receiving more investment and cooperation in delivering resources to unsheltered residents than ever before.

Mendenhall’s gift for bringing people together is why she has earned the endorsements of the city’s firefighters, police officers, teachers and unionized workers—the AFL-CIO, Operating Engineers and other labor unions— as well as the chairpersons of a dozen community councils, the Planned Parenthood Action Council and Equality Utah.

Mayor Mendenhall is the candidate best able to deliver the results we need for the incredible city we’re building together. Our future is in front of us, not behind us. CW

This column is the counterpoint to City Weekly’s Sept. 14 Opinion piece in support of mayoral candidate Rocky Anderson. Chris Wharton represents District 3 on the Salt Lake City Council. Currently in his second term, he has held multiple leadership roles including council chair in 2020.

HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele BY AIMEE L. COOK

MISS: Punching Down

Just who are we protecting, and from what? That’s a question parents and lawmakers need to answer before trouncing the rights of transgender teens, who are themselves being harassed and abused. It is the environment of fear and intimidation that has overtaken otherwise well-meaning parents, who are turning that fear into a malevolent blitzkrieg. This is what happened at a recent Jordan School Board meeting, where Alison—an 11-year-old trans girl at Fox Hollow Elementary—had to advocate for herself over the right to use a bathroom. There is no evidence that inclusive bathrooms lead to grooming or “gender-bending ideologies,” as state school board member Natalie Cline suggested in a Salt Lake Tribune story. But the Harvard School of Public Heath notes that “trans teens with restricted bathroom access (are) at higher risk of sexual assault.”

HIT: Run Away, Trains

If you’ve ever been stranded in a long line of cars waiting at a train crossing, you can feel the pain of Salt Lake’s west-siders. While many would assume you’ll wait for five or so minutes, that’s not always the case as trains get longer and longer in an effort to lower costs and push up revenues, according to The Wall Street Journal, which recommends grabbing a book. Salt Lake City Council member Alexandro Puy doesn’t want to wait anymore and wants some respect for the west-siders who have to endure seemingly endless trains. Puy started a photo essay showing some of the ways to deal with a blocked crossing—like playing board games or holding a cookout at the tracks—and is promoting signs and technology to help residents plan for delays. Join the campaign here: tinyurl.com/447xes3k.

HIT: Clean It Up

We’re sorry, Utah, but saving our coal plants is not worth the lives and lungs of living beings. In a nutshell, that was the message from a federal appeals court that recently sided with the Biden administration over something called the “Good Neighbor Rule.” That rule regulates the air pollution that 24 upwind states might create. Utah sued, not just because the state loves its coal, but also because it would cost millions to upgrade coal plants, according to The Hill. Indeed, coal is being replaced— however slowly—for power generation, the International Energy Agency says. But it does still generate over a third of global electricity, and energy is important. The takeaway here is that Utah, among other coal-producing states, needs to get serious about the health of its citizens while pursuing alternative power sources. And if we want to keep those coal plants running, they need to be cleaner. It’s not all bad news. Southern Utah “will soon be home to the world’s largest next-generation geothermal energy project,” the St. George News reports. CW

Get Well Soon

When we think of wellness, images of luxurious spas and serene retreats often come to mind. However, the wellness industry is transforming, and trends show that self-care is expanding beyond occasional spa appointments or workout routines. Today, wellness is emerging in our homes and becoming an integral part of our daily lives.

Recently, my sister ventured into brewing “fire cider,” a natural fermented remedy thought to fight off impending illnesses. After four weeks of her patiently shaking the concoction every day, she notes it has transformed into a powerful tonic ready for consumption to support one’s well-being.

But I digress. Over the past few years, we’ve begun to see a shift that incorporates wellness elements into our home spaces. This trend signifies a growing recognition that true wellbeing extends beyond external treatments and activities. It is about creating environments that support our physical, mental and emotional health on a continuous basis.

Designers are exploring ways to create living spaces that foster natural connections and promote overall wellbeing. Taking inspiration from spa interiors, homeowners are seeking to recreate those immersive experiences within their own homes. From transforming bathrooms into “spathrooms” (with things like cold plunge tubs) to creating wellness nooks for meditation and relaxation, individuals are investing in their homes as sanctuaries of self-care.

Where there was once an in-home gym with a treadmill, some weights and a television, there may now be a space that lends itself to quiet meditation or yoga.

Technology has enabled in-home wellness services to flourish as well.

People are embracing the convenience of bringing wellness professionals directly to our doorsteps, be it for massages, yoga sessions or beauty treatments. This trend highlights the desire for personalized experiences tailored to individual needs and schedules, empowering individuals to take charge of their well-being in the comfort of their homes.

The COVID-19 pandemic played a role in accelerating the integration of wellness into our homes. With the rise of remote workspaces and lifestyle changes, people are seeking healthier living environments. This includes investing in air-purification systems, ergonomic furniture and smart-home technologies.

As this wellness trend continues to evolve, individuals should consider how best to bring wellness elements into their own homes. This could involve simple changes, such as adding more plants and natural light, or more substantial investments—like creating dedicated spaces for relaxation and self-care. In doing so, individuals can cultivate environments that support their well-being and contribute to a healthier and more balanced lifestyle. And who doesn’t want that? CW

Small Lake City is home to local writers and their opinions.

A&E TRUE TV

Scary Streaming Obscurities

If you’ve seen all of the usual horror TV series, try these outliers for the Halloween season.

BY BILL FROST comments@cityweekly.net

The Hollywood writers’ strike is over, but we’re facing a dearth of new horror shows for Halloween season. American Horror Story: Delicate and The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon are off to great starts (Kim Kardashian and Norman Reedus—who knew they could act?), but you’re going to need more scary stuff in your stream this month. Here are a few options to dig up.

Immoral Compass (2021; The Roku Channel): The episodes are only seven minutes long, but comedian Bill Burr covers plenty of darkly comic ground in Immoral Compass, an anthology series that’s essentially a fun-sized Black Mirror. Burr serves as the bleary narrator to a set of awkward tales that aren’t so much frightening as they are frighteningly relatable; you’ll never admit it, but you’d probably make the same selfish choices as these miserable characters. Immoral Compass is sick, twisted and over far too soon.

From (2022–present; MGM+): The supernaturally inescapable town bit has been done before (Under the Dome, Wayward Pines, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, et al), but From adds the delightful element of nocturnal monsters that will literally eat your face. Harold Perrineu (Lost) and the unwilling residents of The Township may be stuck in a nightmare interstate detour

surrounded by a forest of malevolent creatures, but From tempers the terror with unexpected clues that might actually pay off (unlike Lost).

Black Summer (2019–2021; Netflix): Black Summer premiered during the twilight years of The Walking Dead when its bloated assembly of whiny characters nearly outnumbered the undead. With a leaner cast (led by Jaime King), manic camerawork and 28 Days Later-fast zombies, Black Summer navigates the early days of the Z-apocalypse with gritty immediacy and gore-splattering zeal. It also helps that the series only ran for two seasons, wrapping the Stephen King-praised story in 16 tight episodes.

Millennium (1996–1999; YouTube): Millennium’s first episode kicked off with the scene of a blood-soaked stripper writhing in front of a wall of flames—quite the attention-grabber for ’90s broadcast TV. The X-Files-adjacent series from Chris Carter

centers on ex-FBI profiler Frank Black (Lance Henrickson) as he tracks serial killers inspired by the coming Y2K “end time.” After the grisly first season, Millennium lightened up its Se7en-esque tone, but not by much. This should be way easier to stream.

FreakyLinks (2000–2001; YouTube): Speaking of shows that are near-impossible to find, FreakyLinks is another longlost series with a cult following but few traces of its existence (though I do still have a promotional FreakyLinks CD wallet—thanks, Fox). A group of friends runs the video-driven urban legends website FreakyLinks.com, documenting paranormal and cryptid activity with requisite shaky-cam abandon (the series was produced by the Blair Witch Project studio, BTW). Fun show if you can find it.

Dead Set (2008; YouTube): Wishing horrible deaths for Big Brother contestants is perfectly normal, and Charlie Brooker

(Black Mirror) did just that by siccing flesheating zombies on the cast of that very show in the British satire Dead Set. The reality-show housemates are oblivious to the undead outbreak happening outside of their studio set, not unlike the real American Big Brother during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic (which produced no zombies, as far as anyone knows). Can we get a Real Housewives version, Charlie?

Harper’s Island (2009; YouTube): The only way to make a destination wedding scarier is to throw a killer into the mix.

One-season-and-done thriller Harper’s Island follows murder-spree survivor Abby (Elaine Cassidy) as she returns to the place where her family was slaughtered seven years earlier to attend her best friend’s wedding—you could have just sent a panini press, Abs. Over 13 episodes, the killer racks up a body count of 27(!), and the twisty mystery is more satisfying if you don’t think too hard about it. CW

ROKU CHANNEL

Bill Burr in Immoral Compass

theESSENTIALS

Repertory Dance Theatre: I Am …

Creative work that aims to change minds and hearts is a tricky business, running the risk of being too literal and didactic to work as art, even if it may work as rhetoric. Modern dance allows for ideas in the form of movement to approach challenging subjects from a different angle, which is what choreographer Natosha Washington was able to accomplish in her 2018 Repertory Dance Theatre commission Say Their Names (part 1). RDT gives Washington a chance to expand on those concepts in an evening-length work called I Am …, investigating the human experience through the lens of life as a Black woman.

The RDT dancers are accompanied by veteran local actor/singer Dee-Dee DarbyDuffin in work that, according to RDT’s press release, asks “are we part of the problem, perpetuating misunderstandings and divisions, or are we actively seeking solutions? … By witnessing the stories unfold on stage, audiences are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences, biases and responsibilities.” Washington adds, “We invite you to immerse yourself in this journey with us. Our storytelling aims to wash over you, to inform you, and to inspire you to be part of the change our world desperately needs. By sharing this experience, we hope to create not only a better world for ourselves, but also for the person next to us.”

Repertory Dance Theatre’s production of I Am runs at the Rose Wagner Center Jeanne Wagner Theater (138 W. 300 South) Oct. 5 – 7 at 7:30 p.m. nightly. Tickets are $30, $15 for students and seniors; visit arttix.org for tickets and additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

SHARON KAIN

Immigrant’s Daughter: Worship

A provocative premise lies at the core of playwright Morag Shepherd’s Worship, inspired by a real-life incident involving a Brigham Young University faculty member accused of sexual assault involving spiritual manipulation. It’s the kind of scenario where contemporary audiences are looking for the predator to be clearly identified as evil, but for Shepherd, it was more interesting to investigate the perpetrator in all his humanity.

“In the first iteration, he was a monster,” Shepherd says. “Then you read it, and it’s not believable. I already have had pushback, in workshopping situations; people want it to go further, [to show] that he really knows what he’s doing. That’s not how it goes. … He’s a product of the tradition he was raised in. So I feel a lot of sympathy for him. I didn’t want to turn him into this villain, because I don’t think it’s as easy as that.”

The production of Worship will be presented in an intimate setting with just 27 audience members at a time, which Shepherd believes also fits into the story’s framework: “We thought about producing it in a church, because of the sexual nature, it didn’t seem appropriate. I went to church when I lived in Scotland when I was young, we met in little rooms in public buildings. Just a little group of people in a small space.”

Immigrant’s Daughter presents Worship at SLC Arts Hub (663 W. 100 South) Oct. 6 – 21, with performances Fridays – Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Oct. 8 at 2 p.m. Tickets are $30 via Eventbrite.com. (SR)

Taylor Tomlinson

Being an open book about awkward things has been part of Taylor Tomlinson’s on-stage persona for the entirety of her comedy career, which remarkably covers nearly half her life even though she’s still just shy of 30 years old. But she acknowledged recently—in her 2022 Netflix special Look At You—that she wasn’t sure about opening up in her act about her mental-health diagnoses. “Then I realized I needed new material,” she says, “and it was like ‘fire sale, everything goes.’”

Not surprisingly, as she has often done in the past with relationship drama, Tomlinson takes the parts of herself that might be difficult for most people to share, and turns them into laughs. That’s part of the appeal when she compares having bipolar disorder with not knowing how to swim: “It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might be hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties. And if you just take your arm floaties, you can go wherever the hell you want. And some of you are saying, ‘But Taylor, what if people judge me for taking arm floaties?’ Well, those people don’t care if you live or die, so maybe who cares? Maybe fuck them, a little bit.”

Taylor Tomlinson brings her “Have It All” tour to the Delta Hall at the Eccles Theater (131 S. Main St.) for three shows, Saturday Oct. 7 at 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., and Sunday, Oct. 8 at 7 p.m. Tickets are $24.75 - $154.75; visit arttix.org to purchase tickets and for additional information. (SR)

Close Encounters

Some Utahns say they benefited from experiences with extraterrestrial life.

BY CAROLYN CAMPBELL comments@cityweekly.net

Ron Johnson faced the alien head-on. “Our noses almost touched,” he recalled. “It looked like he was about to download something into my brain.”

Three crown ridges topped the bald non-human’s head, Johnson said. The being’s bony arms led to three long fingers ending in small appendages. Speaking telepathically, the alien told Johnson: “I’m not here to hurt you. I am here to help you.”

A heavy equipment mechanic, Johnson had earlier suffered a severe industrial accident. “I broke my back and smashed my spinal cord,” Johnson said. “I lost the use of my left leg.”

He underwent back surgery in a local hospital and recovered at his mom’s house. He said he could hardly walk and struggled to bend over far enough to put on his own shoes, sleeping on a sofa because it was lower to the ground than his bed.

Growing tired of his physical limitations, he consulted a hypnotherapist who encouraged him to practice meditation. Johnson also prayed to God for help. Then one evening while he was lying down, a beam of vertical light moved slowly across his darkened living room.

“I thought it was a car driving down the road,” Johnson said, “but no vehicles were out there.”

Soon, the vertical beam began to appear multiple times per month. In time, what Johnson calls “a shadow person” followed the light.

“[It was] like a shadow on the wall,” he said, “only out in the middle of the room.”

On its second appearance, the shadow person appeared to stare at Johnson. The next time he saw it, the formless shadow had changed into a tangible, crown-headed entity, the form it took during subsequent visits.

There were two encounters when the alien took John-

son to a room and instructed him to memorize figures on a wall. On a third meeting, the alien said he planned to take Johnson on a journey. Johnson went to bed on his mother’s couch but woke up lying on a stainless steel table. Paralyzed, he could only move his eyes. He saw that the alien now wore a gown and a hat that reached where his chest would be. There were also humans in white lab coats.

The alien climbed on Johnson’s back near his surgery scar. He attached a large, metal, spider-like apparatus to Johnson’s waist with tentacles to his arms and legs.

“I felt like he was inside my spine,” Johnson recalled of the experience. “Whatever he was doing hurt so bad it was almost beyond comprehension.”

Johnson kept trying to scream. He was terrified. Then the alien climbed onto Johnson’s back again, grabbed his head, and pulled it back as far as possible.

“He puts three fingers on the roof of my mouth, then brings them out over my face and across the top of my head,” said Johnson.

Afterward, a lab-coated human disconnected Johnson from the machines, telling him the aliens would return shortly. The pain in his back, with him since his accident, was now alleviated.

“It wasn’t 100% different,” he said, “But 95% and all for the good.”

After the experience, Johnson said he had no problems getting out of bed. He could move, bend and touch the ground. Two round blood spots were on his back when he took off his nightshirt the following day.

“I’ve never had anything hurt like that in my entire life,” he said. “But it cured my back.”

Unexplained Encounters

It wasn’t the first time Johnson believes he encountered alien life. At age 14, he helped his aunt and uncle on their California horse ranch. One night, he woke around midnight to find his blankets tossed at the foot of his bed.

“There was a terrifying feeling,” he said. “I knew someone was there.”

Leaning his head back, Johnson caught sight of a tall, thin alien bathed in a greenish glow. The alien remained silent as he stared at Johnson, who closed his eyes and wished the entity away.

Though it was gone 10 minutes later, Johnson lay awake until morning. After that, Johnson slept in the car whenever he stayed at his relative’s house.

That childhood encounter was only the beginning of Johnson’s continuing alien interactions. And more than a decade ago, he participated in a very active chapter of the

The Mutual UFO Network investigates unidentified aerial phenemena, like this object seen hovering over Kolob Canyon.

Mutual Utah UFO Network (MUUFON) in West Valley.

“It was common to have 15 to 20 people,” Johnson said of the group’s meetings. “There were always more people than could sit around a table.”

MUUFON’s discussions went beyond flying saucers and little green men. Johnson and a friend, Darrell Smith, partnered up on research into Bigfoot. Lavon Seely took an interest in Chaco Canyon, home to ancient Indian myths. One young man claimed he knew of people inhabiting the Earth’s center and a woman believed that a mysterious portal was located in her home.

“Noises came out of the portal,” Johnson recalled. “Her dog barked whenever it got near it.”

But despite its earlier vitality, MUUFON slowly died out. And even Erika Lukes, a UFO historian and former MUUFON director, concedes that no hard proof exists of extraterrestrial life visiting our planet.

“I’ve spent years researching this topic,” she said.

Still, strong interest continues in the possibility. According to a 2021 Pew Research Center survey, about two-thirds of Americans (65%) say their best guess is that intelligent life exists on other planets. A July 2021 Gallup poll states that 4 in 10 Americans now think some unidentified aerial phenomena (the government’s preferred term for UFOs) have been alien spacecraft visiting Earth from other planets or galaxies.

The Pew survey also showed that men are more likely than women (70% versus 60%) to believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life. And Americans under age 30 (76%) are more likely to believe in life on other planets than those age 50 and older (57%).

Brian Lindley was loading a trailer three years ago in preparation for a camping trip when he says a large, white orb appeared to hover over his home. At first, he returned inside, thinking it was just a weather balloon. But an hour later, the glowing orb hadn’t budged an inch despite the windy day.

Lindley’s Syracuse home is in Hill Air Force Base’s flight path and before long, he said, the orb appeared to draw the

attention of others. “I’m filming this object, and F-35 pilots took notice,” he said. “They took two or three passes by it.”

Lindley said the orb stayed for several hours after the jets had left. When the time arrived to leave for his trip, he felt torn—he wanted to see the orb either move or leave. While traveling, thoughts of the orb stuck in Lindley’s brain, and he soon started researching area UFOs.

“It turned out that within months of my sighting, these things were all over Davis County—some stationary and some moving fast,” he said.

Lindley felt compelled to report his own experience.

When he contacted the Mutual UFO Network, he reached a director who operated Utah’s chapter from another state, only to learn the local group had fizzled out years earlier.

“I thought that was such a shame when Utah is such a hot spot with the Uinta Basin, Dugway and military reports,” he said. “I couldn’t believe nobody was signing up to become an investigator.”

He went on to do MUFON casework for a couple of years, working his way up the organization. A year ago, MUFON asked Lindley if he would like to be the Utah state director and rebuild the chapter. He accepted the challenge and will hold the first meeting of the new chapter at 6 p.m. on Dec. 7 at the downtown Salt Lake City Public Library. Dave Rosenfeld, with Utah UFO Hunters, will be the featured speaker.

“I have new leadership helping me out,” Lindley said of rebuilding the chapter. “A handful of investigators, and more people signed up to become a member or an investigator. I’m going full steam ahead.”

“We Are Not Alone”

Earl Grey Anderson, MUFON’s Southern California director, is also an executive member of the organization’s Experiencer Resource Team (ERT). He has personally investigated over 900 UFO reports and specializes in what are called “Experiencer” or “High Strangeness” cases.

Anderson says he was born with an interest in outer space, which was enhanced by his mother, who worked for aviator and industrialist Howard Hughes.

Anderson remembers his mother telling him about a Hughes security detail taking her into a concrete elevator that descended a mile beneath the Earth’s surface to an underground city. Along with scientific laboratories relating to UFOs, Anderson’s mother said the subterranean city possessed a movie theater, a hairdresser and golf carts for getting around.

Later, after watching Star Wars, Anderson said his mother confided in him again. “You have no idea how close to the truth that movie is,” he recalled her saying. “The different spaceships and different species of aliens—it’s real.”

COURTESY OF BRIAN LINDLEY COURTESY OF BRIAN LINDLEY

A pilot flying over Zion Canyon took this photograph of an object beneath his path.

An

adjusted version of the above photo highights a bizarre cylindrical shape.

When he started working as a MUFON field investigator, Anderson had an experience with elements similar to Johnson’s.

Anderson had heard about a meditation method called CE5, where people attempted to communicate with extraterrestrials psychically, and he said he tried for days to “demand” contact.

Staring at a corner of his bedroom one night, Anderson noticed a corner brightening with a calming blue light. Like Johnson, he was paralyzed and could only move his eyes. Soon, his bedroom wall held a 7-foot circular hole in the corner.

“It was beaming with bright light and seemed distant within,” he recalled.

Anderson glimpsed a tall entity on the right side of the swirling opening, who slid out followed by four tiny figures with gray skin and large black eyes.

They attached long, curling tubes to Anderson’s extremities.

“They didn’t walk toward me, but appeared to float a millimeter above the floor,” Anderson said. “I couldn’t move, scream or whisper. I was under their control, at their mercy. I felt like I was about to pass out— maybe I did.”

Without warning, the tubes detached from his arms and legs, the beings slid back through and the portal began to close.

Afterward, Anderson said he could hear the crickets outside and in was able to move his fingers and arms again.

Anderson theorizes that his experience happened so that he would have empathy for others who have gone through similar abductions or visitations.

Since that encounter, Anderson says he

has experienced what he called “synchronicities” in his life, or “meaningful coincidences that seem like magic.” He attributes the moments to being the side-effect of a face-to-face with extraterrestrial life, making it well worth the initial fear and shock he experienced.

“For whatever reason, it happened,” he said. “We are not alone.”CW

COURTESY OF BRIAN LINDLEY

An object is photographed in the sunset skies above the Utah State Capitol.

The Boo-hive State

Forgive the first-person intro, but allow me a moment to suggest an uncanny connection.

I made a press inquiry of Zak Bagans, through his Las Vegas attraction The Haunted Museum. The host of Ghost Adventures on Discovery is a busy man, sure, but a good six weeks had passed. Assuming that the chat wouldn’t happen, I settled in to finally write the piece, sans Bagans.

Literally as I typed his name into what I assumed would be a story without a central interview, I looked down at my phone to see one Zachary Bagans on the line. Zoinks!

A true fan of Ghost Adventures would appreciate the moment. And in the spirit of transparency, I’m fully in that camp of diehard viewers.

On Ghost Adventures, little takes place without some extra meaning attached. I’m not quite sure how to process Bagans being summoned through the telephone from his production studio while I was typing his name several states away, other than this: He was meant to call at that moment. As a true Ghost head, I’m not going to question things too much, preferring to jump to metaphysical conclusions.

Bagans’ public life is a pretty complicated affair, with multiple shows (not just multiple episodes of one show) in various stages of production at any time, along with his ongoing work at the museum.

Starting out our conversation, in fact, he reinforced the idea that hosting Ghost Adventures and its subsidiary programs is more than a full-time job and that “(you) have no idea” how to accurately assess the amount of hours he puts into his growing paranormal research media empire, which frequently features cases and stories from Utah and the broader Intermountain West.

The story, in many respects, begins in 2008, when Bagans created a pilot episode for a cable show that would soon set the standard for ghost-hunting reality television (of which there are more than a few, housed across many platforms; check your preferred web search engine for confirmation).

Eventually Ghost Adventures found something of a secondary home in Utah. And episodes like one featuring the Tintic Mining District are indicative of the state’s saturation within GA

“That one was really interesting,” Bagans says. “How we discovered that lady and that guy living in the houses up there, practicing their dark occult practices, ending up invited into a ceremony. That was one time when there was a spiritual battle between us and them,” Bagans said. “All of our spiritual guides and guards went to battle with whatever dark beings were attached to them. Amidst the ceremony, my spiritual guides started talking, letting them know I was protected. Which stunned the lady who was a practitioner of dark magic.”

To put it mildly, Zac Bagans has an interesting job

Who You Gonna Call?

The Travel Channel brought Ghost Adventures to life in October of 2008, when the seasonally appropriate series aired for the first time.

To look back at the earliest episodes of the show, you see the guerrilla filmmaking style of the three principal members of both cast and crew: paranormal investigators Zak Bagans and Nick Groff, with AV tech Aaron Goodwin.

Relying on a vérité style, the three would visit places of reputed hauntings, sealing themselves into overnight “lockdowns” inside some of America’s most notorious supernatural hotspots. The intro credits were keen to mention that no big crew was on hand, just three buds and the best video and audio equipment they could afford at the time.

The trio sold viewers on the fact that this was raw and unscripted reality television. And for a good, long while, the formula remained largely in this style. But after the 10th season saw the departure of Groff, the show changed in ways both subtle and overt.

Utah is a haunting hot-spot for the paranormal investigators of Discovery’s ‘Ghost Adventures.’

BY THOMAS CRONE | comments@cityweekly.net

Goodwin’s title changed to investigator, and two additional crew members (AV techs Billy Tolley and Jay Wasley) were blended into the show, with a definite sense that there were also other, unseen crew members working behind the scenes to bring an increasingly expensive, stylized and highly edited show into being. In more recent years, fans have even seen some of the supplementary crew in onscreen roles, though the core four of Bagans, Goodwin, Tolley and Wasley are the omnipresent members of every show.

The 27th season of Ghost Adventures debuts this month on Oct. 11, with well over 270 episodes having now aired. (The easiest way to binge is through Max, née HBO, which has the entire series streaming on-demand.) Another 50-plus special episodes and offshoot shows have aired, too, with recent seasons adding twists: returns to formerly visited

owns and operates an attraction in Las Vegas, though Bagans suggests that the core four members of the team are each “spiritually connected” to the region.

“This is the biggest reason that so many locations are filmed there,” Bagans continued. “It’s that we feel a natural, organic, spiritual connection to the West. So many people from there are calling us for help, literally calling out to us. We don’t have to leave the West, and we feel as though when we stay within those areas, we have this strong connection to our locations. Some that we’ve visited in those areas are Level 10 intense.”

Ghosted

In order to crack these cases, they rely on an increasingly large series of devices, which they’ve exhibited in the sofar 16 regular episodes of Ghost Adventures that were set in Utah. Wikipedia, bless it, does a great job of citing some of the key tools and techniques of their investigations, noting that Bagans and crew, “use a variety of equipment, including digital thermometers, electromagnetic field (EMF) meters, handheld digital video cameras, audio recorders, the Ovilus device, point of view cameras, and infrared night-vision cameras in an effort to capture evidence of ghosts.”

The entry also notes how GA team members will sometimes place what they call “trigger” objects, or will shout verbal taunts to draw out their spirit subjects.

Of course, the cast and crew are key elements here, too, and Bagans feels that Utah locations—ranging from Ogden to Santaquin to Logan Canyon to Magna—have offered some of the more intense experiences that they’ve enjoyed in their long television journey. Heck, one of the episodes, entitled “Industrial District of the Damned,” takes place within a half-dozen blocks of City Weekly’s downtown offices.

In that installment, set inside a warehouse-turned-photo-studio, the Ghost Adventures team captured the image of a strange face in a mirror. “We tried to debunk that, and we couldn’t,” Bagans recalled. “That was a very, very compelling piece of evidence that really sticks out.”

Bagans said his team’s investigations in Utah have been among the most “highly active” sites they’ve encountered. And more exploration of the Beehive State is coming.

“I don’t know what it is about Utah, but it’s home to some of the darkest ones we’ve ever done,” he said. “There’s a location there that we’re currently trying to set up for an investigation.”

Local paranormal investigators Bennett Rayne and Vincent Lords—who run a media and live event group called Paranosis—have been seen in several of the Utah episodes.

haunts and visits to the houses of the famous; a spinoff series called House Calls that sends the investigators into the homes of terrified viewers; and Screaming Room, a behindthe-scenes conversation between the four about particularly memorable episodes.

But what in the name of all that’s unholy does any of this have to do with Utah? Well…

Utah provides an amazing range of investigation backdrops for the GA team, involving some of the crew’s breadand-butter locations: abandoned mines; boom-to-bust railroad towns; haunted attractions like SLC’s Fear Factory and Tooele’s Asylum 49; ghostly venues like the Saltair; even the occasional, nationally known site, like the Ted Bundy Ritual House episode of the short-run spinoff series called Serial Killer Spirits.

Those episodes are part of a noticeable shift in the geographic center of Bagans’ work as his various projects have progressed. While early shows took place all over the country, subsequent seasons increasingly focused on the West.

Part of this is likely explained by the fact that Bagans

But Bagans bristled a bit when asked about their roles in the Utah-set collection of GA episodes, simply saying “they have assisted us in finding many great locations in Utah, and we are very thankful for their assistance in that.”

The GA linchpin seemed irked by the suggestion that he was taking a back seat in the Ghost-verse, like with a question about House Calls, a spinoff series that typically follows members of the team heading out to collect information and offer comfort to the supernaturally afflicted while Bagans remains in Vegas. Bagans—whose presence on the show is all-encompassing—has a lessened screen presence on that spinoff series, which allows the rest of his crew (including the rock star director of photography and investigative badass Lauren Murphy) a chance to shine.

Working on multiple shows at once, Bagans says, means that the franchise will always be bringing more to the networks, as “the viewers can’t get enough” content, as it is.

Utah and Ghost Adventures are not going to break up anytime soon, and Bagans says “that anyone in Utah aware of a site should contact us through our social media.”

And with that, our brief, strangely intense call ended. And I ran around the house as if possessed. CW

DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Zak Bagans, second from left, and his team of Ghost Adventures investigators

years of

CITY WEEKLY

BY WES LONG wlong@cityweekly.net

For the Private Eye, the early ’90s didn’t lack issues to report on or occasions to remember. The Utah Senate was floating a burdensome smoking bill for restaurants as well as an especially punitive piece of anti-abortion legislation. The Baker germ lab at Dugway Proving Ground was slated for modernization to carry on its hazardous experiments in biological warfare. Local Utahns sought to prevent the Kern natural gas pipeline from despoiling Bountiful’s Mueller Park. And rising gunshot accidents involving children were a matter of concern, with one report noting the “astounding” figure of 150-plus known fatalities/injuries since 1985.

These troubles were hovering in the air, but so were more pleasant developments, such as Utah’s first non-discrimination plank in a major political platform at the Salt Lake Democratic Party’s May 1990 convention. Other highlights included the 20th anniversary of John Sinclair’s restaurant Gepetto’s, a new events section titled “Eye Contact,” and experiments in tinted cover design.

Remembering Vol. 7: In the margins

To commemorate the 20th anniversary of the federal Newspaper Preservation Act, as only Private Eye could, an ambitious series commenced during the summer of 1990.

“The Unholy Alliance” series reported on the intricacies and damages wrought by Utah’s Newspaper Agency Corporation (NAC), a Newspaper Preservation Actsanctioned printing and distribution agency run through the Joint Operating Agreement (JOA) between the Deseret News and The Salt Lake Tribune

“In polite circles, it’s called a monopoly,” began John Saltas. “It’s a warm and fuzzy arrangement, this NAC thing.”

The NAC set a joint rate in terms of placing ads in both dailies, Saltas observed, and tying the two papers together opened the entire community up for exploitation if one had enough money to curry favor and avoid uncomfortable reporting.

“[The dailies’] motivation to build circulation through gained readership is long dead,” Saltas wrote. “Their profits are set by the NAC, and you, the reader, lose big-time.”

Subsequent installments explored the crowding out of local community newspapers, national efforts to repeal the News-

paper Preservation Act, the edging out of a competing ad system and the feedback— positive and negative—that came in response to the series as a whole.

“We’ve had beaucoup input—phone calls, letters, high-fives—from not only our regular, demented readers, but from newspaperites—current and former—at both dailies as well,” reported Saltas. “The breakdown goes more or less like this: staff writers and lower echelon editors tend to support us (as do several NAC employees), while the ‘suits’ upstairs are quoted to be ‘livid’ and taken to firing barbs about what is, and what is not, good journalism.”

Responding to claims that the series was “one sided,” Saltas was unmoved by calls for “objective” methods of reporting.

“The big presses are anything but fair and objective in their pursuit of pleasing fat cats, big advertisers, politicians and in Salt Lake, members of the cloth,” Saltas concluded. “So be it. That’s the system, and we’re not particularly fond of it.”

In 2020, the decades-long JOA between the Deseret News and Tribune ended. In 2021, both papers ceased daily publication.

In his words

Ron Yengich had much to say throughout Private Eye’s seventh year. The following are a small sampling of subjects he covered:

On Oliver North and the Iran-Contra scandal: “The ancient Greek democrats convicted their right-wing ideologue criminals and dispatched them. In 20th century America, we give them a made-for-network TV deal and have them squired about the country by Republican senators.”

On SLC lawyer Joseph C. Fratto Sr. (19121990): “He symbolized the best in a profession that to many is just a bad joke.”

On Reaganomics: “... economic rape and pillage on a scale rarely seen since the Robber Barons looted the store at the turn of the last century.”

On KALL radio personality Trina Eyring: “She’s equal parts Gloria Steinem, Gracie Allen and everyone’s little sister.”

On the need for diverse judges: “As a practicing lawyer who represents both male and female, both white and Hispanic clients, it would be a nice change of pace to appear in front of black-robed individuals who can’t belong to the Alta Club and aren’t able to golf at courses preferred by Dan Quayle.”

In the ads

“Fitting into a relationship is like fitting the last piece in a puzzle,” read an advertisement in the Sept. 11, 1990, Private Eye. Touting itself as “the ’90s way to meet someone,” this was for a new personal ads service called Eye Catchers. Users’ bios were published with an individualized voicemail number that readers could respond to by calling Private Eye’s 1-900 phone line.

With the Gulf War commencing in August of 1990, military involvement in the Middle East was on the minds of many. “We are in a pickle,” noted John Saltas in November: “Saddam Hussein is a truly dangerous man—but thanks to Mr. [George H.W.] Bush, his advisers, and because of a hyped-up need for oil married to an urgent need to defuse the mood of an upset, domestic populace, too many very good Americans are going to die—for oil and other men’s honor.”

By Jan. 8, 1991, some Utahns had had enough of the whole affair. “Bring the troops home!” declared an advertisement from the Utah Coalition Against U.S. War in the Middle East, alerting readers to a march and rally on Jan. 19. According to contemporary coverage by The Salt Lake Tribune, between 1,000 and 1,500 people attended the demonstration in downtown Salt Lake City.

In the unions

“Not only is unionism not dead,” Ed Mayne (1945-2007) told John Saltas, “but we are now in one of the most exciting periods of time for the labor movement—the most exciting period since the New Deal.”

Mayne—who, in 1990, was president-secretary-treasurer of the Utah AFL-CIO—had been a prominent Utah labor figure since the 1970s. He described a struggle that was not too far removed from those faced by previous laborers in the days of Joe Hill or the Bingham Copper and Carbon County strikes.

Following layoffs at Kennecott and Geneva Steel and after receiving training through the Job Training Partnership Act (1982), thousands of displaced workers found themselves in jobs without protections or health benefits, prompting union activity to pick up steam.

“They’re coming in droves,” Mayne said, “What we’re seeing is that the ‘me-ism’ of the ’80s is gone, and people are going back to very basic values—the environment, cancer in the workplace, injuries, family is-

sues.”

Saltas observed that organizers had a daunting challenge ahead in Utah. “Rightto-work is not a guarantee of work,” Saltas stressed. “It simply means that a person working under a union-negotiated collective bargaining agreement does not have to join a union, hence a weak union—a not-so-subtle stab at union-busting hailed by the likes of senators Garn and Hatch, fellows who write their own meal tickets.”

Elected to the state Senate in 1994, Mayne served until his death and was succeeded by his spouse, Karen Mayne. At the time of Saltas’ article, Ed Mayne was leading 217 unions, made up of roughly 72,000 Utahns. Between 17 and 20 percent of the Utah workforce was then unionized.

Today, the Utah AFL-CIO is connected to 38 local unions with an approximate total membership of 40,000 people.

In the dressing room

“I was expecting a celebrity,” reported Leslie Kelen in the Nov. 20, 1990, issue of Private Eye. “Instead, I met a performer with the instincts of a street brawler, a man willing to risk intimidating his listener to make an impact.”

Kelen was referring to Dr. Haing S. Ngor (1940-1996), a survivor of the Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia, whose performance in The Killing Fields (1984) won the Academy Award for best supporting actor. Ngor was in Salt Lake City to support the Salt Lake Acting Co.’s 20th anniversary, and the two chatted in a SLAC dressing room.

“I didn’t want to survive after that suffering,” Ngor recalled of witnessing his family and pregnant spouse die at the hands of the Khmer Rouge. “Please, God, [I said] take my life with you. But now [I see] God had his reason [for keeping me alive].

God thought that I would be the ambassador—the one who would tell the world what had happened in our country.”

Such a sense of mission kept him going, with both his acting income as well as the royalties from his book largely going toward supplying food, clothing, medicine and school supplies to refugees at the Cambodia/Thailand border.

“I have to tell the world, so the world will know!” Ngor told Kelen. “If I don’t do that, who will know what happened? If I keep silent, no one will know about us.” CW

The Kid Isn’t Alright

Fifty years after its release, examining how The Exorcist captured parental anxiety of its moment.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

After spending a few years on a trilogy of Halloween legacy-quels, writer/director David Gordon Green has moved on to reviving another iconic 1970s-vintage horror franchise with The Exorcist: Believer (opening Oct. 6). It’s a particularly fitting time to dig into the long shadow cast by the original The Exorcist, both because of the recent passing of its director, William Friedkin, and since this year marks the 50th anniversary of the satanic-possession classic. The Exorcist was 1973’s single biggest theatrical hit, a pop-culture sensation that became as famous for extreme audience reactions to its unsettling subject matter as for the movie itself. The Exorcist was the 1973 release that the most people bought tickets for, but there’s a question that intrigues me: Was it the movie the most people bought tickets for because it was released in 1973?

At first glance, there’s not a lot that ties T he Exorcist specifically to the era in which it was released—except, that is, for the movie that actress Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn) is in Washington, D.C. to shoot when her 12-year-old daughter Regan (Linda Blair) goes all demonic on her. In the one snippet of on-set filming that we see, Chris is playing what appears to be an administrator at a university, responding to student protests about mili-

settle them down—suggesting, for example, that they need to work “within the system”—the response just gets angrier. The character she’s playing is, basically, The Establishment. She’s someone who doesn’t understand what’s gotten into the kids these days.

Eventually, of course, something gets into her kid, and the fact that the object of the demonic possession in The Exorcist is a child has always been interpreted as one of the things that made it so unsettling to viewers. Blair’s performance—no matter how much of it consists of lip-synching to animalistic growls and the purring evil of Mercedes McCambridge—is a marvel of manifesting an evil presence through physicality. From a contemporary perspective, whatever Friedkin put her through to elicit that performance likely seems unconscionable. But did it strike a nerve? Hell, yes.

What tends to get less attention than the more extreme instances of spewing profanities and/or pea soup, however, is the material that precedes it, as Chris is trying to find a medical answer for Regan’s

strange behavior. Friedkin’s direction emphasizes both what Regan endures—the film’s most difficult-to-watch sequence might actually be her MRI exam—and Chris’s terrified reactions as she watches, and waits, helplessly. T he Exorcist builds its terror on a mother’s sense that her child is in danger, and that she has no idea what can be done to make that child better.

Even more specifically, it becomes a narrative about our children becoming people we don’t even recognize—an unease that was certainly swirling throughout the country in the early 1970s in the relationships between parents and their adolescent or teenage children. T he Exorcist teases for a significant amount of its running time an uncertainty regarding whether Regan’s malady is physical, psychological or supernatural, including a somewhat prescient scene (apparently only in the “director’s cut”) where a doctor prescribes Ritalin to Regan with a primitive description of what we’d now call ADHD. For a large portion of American population circa 1973, it felt like all of

the kids were simply going crazy, and no one could figure out whether the problem was that they needed medication, needed therapy or needed God.

None of this is to understate the visceral effectiveness of The Exorcist as a piece of horror filmmaking—from jump-scares and flashes of demonic faces, to Dick Smith’s legendary makeup effects and the magnificent use of Mike Oldfield’s “Tubular Bells.” It just seemed to be hitting a particular cultural soft spot of its moment, combining a more general parental fear about endangered children with something particularly connected to a Greatest Generation sense of youth gone mad.

Ultimately, maybe it’s hard to deny from the climactic confrontation with Father Karras (Jason Miller) that an actual demon had been inhabiting Regan MacNeil, making her say and do things that violated all of society’s standards of acceptable behavior. Plenty of parents in 1973 probably walked away from The Exorcist thinking, “Well, at least that would be an explanation I could understand.” CW

WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Welcome Back, Soup Season

Oishi Ramen is prepared to warm you up with traditional flavors this fall.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

My affection for hot noodle soups like ramen, pho, laksa and even some homestyle chicken noodle is evergreen, but it reaches its apex come autumn. I think most people can roll with me on this: The spooky season brings out our love of pumpkin spice, horror movies and bowls of steamy, soupy goodness.

I’ve really come to enjoy soup that singes the mouth as the result of both temperature and spice level, which led me to Oishi Ramen near the South Salt Lake Chinatown Supermarket. Their menu of Chinese and Japanese ramen is full of unique options, and doesn’t shy away from bringing the heat.

Though Salt Lake’s ramen game has risen considerably over the past few years, Oishi Ramen has become a standout. A lot of this recent praise comes from their hand-pulled noodles; you’ll often be able to see one of the talented chefs twirling and twisting Oishi’s ramen noodles in their openly visible kitchen. On top of that, Oishi boasts a menu of options that blend traditional Chinese street food with offerings for those who like to indulge with a bit of offal from time to time.

On your first visit to Oishi, you may be tempted to get right down to business and order up a bowl of their signature dish.

I’d encourage you to pause and give the appetizer menu a look first, however. The starters at Oishi are far from an afterthought, and their street food snackability goes hand in hand with the ramen mains.

Those who are fond of traditional Chinese skewers will want to check out their beef ($4.99), lamb ($5.98) and tofu ($4.98) skewers. They’re seasoned to perfection, and capture the magic of a freshly grilled skewer. You can also get fried intestines ($4.98) or quail eggs ($4.98) if you’re after something a bit harder to find in Utah.

Every so often, I like to test my tolerance for eating guts, so I tried some of those crispy intestines. While it’s safe to say that I’m not going to be whipping up any fried entrails at home any time soon, the seasoning on these little intestinal rounds is really quite good. I think if you’ve got a preexisting proclivity for pancreas, you’re going to like the guts you get at Oishi. You can even get them stewed with your ramen if you so choose.

If a grilled meat skewer doesn’t do the trick, then I’d suggest the soup dumplings. As vast as our Asian cuisine options are, it’s uncommon to find steamed soup dumplings on our local menus, which is a real shame. Also, serving soup dumplings at a soup-based restaurant seems like a no brainer—soup in all its forms should be welcome.

The soup dumplings at Oishi come served in a bamboo steamer with a delightful vinegary sauce for dipping. The filling is seasoned nicely, and the interior broth spikes the whole dumpling with just the right amount of acidity. They’re slippery, savory and delicious. I was also a fan of their pan-fried pork buns ($12.98), which add a pleasant seared crispness to the top and bottom of a steamed bun. A little soy sauce or black vinegar on top of these adds up to an excellent way to prep

your appetite—or you can just keep them on hand to dunk into your ramen broth when it arrives.

Speaking of ramen, you’ve got plenty of options at Oishi. It seems like most ramen fans lean toward the traditional tonkotsu ramen ($12.98) or its spicier cousin ($13.98), both of which are perfectly respectable options. Their tonkotsu broth is luscious, and it’s supplied with a very satisfying arrangement of mushrooms, green onions, sliced pork and hardboiled egg. Seeing as how the noodles are whipped up right there onsite, it’s no surprise that they’re excellent.

I was after a bit of a kick to my ramen journey, so I went with the kimchi beef ramen ($12.98). It’s got a nice mix of bok choy and kimchi along with a spicy broth that hits you right in the back of the throat if you slurp too vigorously. I also liked the thin slices of fat-marbled beef; they absolutely melt in your mouth. The curry ramen ($12.98) is a good bet for those who want something in between mild and spicy, plus it comes with a tasty pork cutlet that’s fried to golden brown perfection.

Though you’ve got plenty of familiar ramen options on Oishi’s menu, it’s also one of the few places that incorporate tripe and intestines into their menu. If you’re not a fan of all that meat on meat, their vegetable tomato ramen ($12.98) is a nice bowl of plant-based comfort. With its solid menu of street food snacks and a wide range of ramen options for your enjoyment, Oishi Ramen is definitely one to keep in the rotation as the temperatures start to drop. CW

TWO LOCATIONS

chappell.beer

On Tap: Harvest - Fresh Hop Collaboration with TableX

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC craftbyproper.com

On Tap: Purple Rain - Marionberry

Helles

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  La Playa-Mexican Style lager

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC

EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Pumpkin Porter

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer 159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Hopkins IPA

Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Nitro In The Pines

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST 550 So. 300 West #100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Rising Coast West Coast

Pale Ale

Moab Brewing

686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap: Golden Sproket Wit

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Tropical Crush–POG–Passionfruit, Orange & Guava!

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/

On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan

Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: Tranquili-Tea HefeweizenEpic Collaboration

Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC

ProperBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Whispers from Krakatoa

- Helles Lager with Habanero and Mango

Proper Burger: Sour RangerBlackberry and Lemon Sour

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191 Moab, Utah 84532

On Tap: Angus McCloud- Scottish Ale

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction Redrockbrewing.com

1640 Redstone Center

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap:  Freshies Porter

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Identity Crisis Session West Coast Hazy Cold IPA – the name says it all!

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, S.Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Lupulin Dew - Wet Hopped Ale

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Oktoberfest Vienna Lager

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Snowcapped Harrison - 6.5 ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek https://secondsummitcider.com

On Tap: Pear Pink Peppercorn & Tarragon Cider

Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Hellion  Huckelberry Sour Ale

Live Music:  Thursdays

Shades On State 366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Hellion  Blond Ale, an ode to Ellie, manager at Shades on State Karaoke: Wednesdays

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/squatters

On Tap:  Salt Lake Brewing Co’s Bronze Age India Pale Lager

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery 1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Squatters & Kiitos Collab: Ginger Rye Lime Sour, 5% Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Three on the Tree’ Hoppy Lager Collaboration with Proximity Malt and Roy Farms Hops.  Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Three on the Tree’ Hoppy Lager Collaboration with Proximity Malt and Roy Farms Hops.  Stratford Proper 1588 Stratford Ave., SLC stratfordproper.com

On Tap: Yacht Rock Juice BoxJuicy IPA

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Oktoberfest Märzen Lager Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Witches Brew

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Golden Grant 5% ABV. Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch Brewery 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/wasatch

On Tap: Wasatch Pumpkin Ale Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez 205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

Blinded By the Light

Find joy in the lighter side of beer.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

This week, we profile two craft beers that would normally be exclusive to the beer aisle section where light lagers are sold by the suitcases rather than the six-pack. Yes, craft brewers are trying their hands at making American light lagers in small batches—for people who still crave a little bit of flavor in their flavorless beer.

Ogden Beer and Fisher BrewingMeanwhile in Ogden: This collaboration beer pours quite clear considering it’s not filtered, though by the time you read this, the golden-colored lager should be perfectly clear. It’s a bit more on the golden side than most macros. A lively, fizzy, one-finger head quickly fades to a barely noticeable layer across the surface, with bubbles of carbonation continually rising. The aroma starts off with a hint of sweetness, then light grain becomes noticeable and lingers, with some corn sweetness as well.

The taste starts a bit on the sweet side—whole grain crackers and with some minor flavors that are reminiscent of Corn Pops, but with a slight bitter twinge on the back end. The aftertaste is clean, and the hops come across as traditional euro varietals with some flowery essences. I wish there were a tad more bitterness or crispness in the taste, but overall, it’s quite crushable— light-bodied of course, smooth, crisp and refreshing, with a perfect amount of carbonation.

Verdict: Drinkability is high on this one. I believe I’ve found my new (relatively) locally-produced “lawnmower” summer beer replacement; it’s too bad

this didn’t find its way into my glass back in July. Hopefully, small batch collaborations like this make it into a wider platform, so more people can be exposed to them.

Proper Brewing - Daydrinker: This beer was designed for Proper’s Moab Pub. In the spirit of the people who live and visit there, this lager emulates desert drinking and recreation—light in alcohol, big in hydration and crispness. The 2.2 percent alcohol may sound ultra-light, but when temps are high and humidity is low, lagers like these are important before, during and after recreating.

Daydrinker pours a very light pale straw yellow color. One-finger fizzy head shows light retention, as some light streaks of lace on the sides of the glass fall back into the beer. Biscuity malts with a strong hop aroma dominate the front of the beer, and there was a honeylike back-end aroma that appeared as well. Hop aroma tends to dominate what little aroma is present.

Biscuity flavors in the front of the beer change into a very light malt sweetness, with hints of light grass in the middle of the beer. Dank hops take you the rest of the way; the dankness is light and in no way bold or pungent, but it’s there, like the ghost of a big hop bomb. You get no hint of alcohol at all. There’s a light mouthfeel, with the carbonation high overall but on par for the style. Not a lot of grains, and semi-sweet malts are left on the palate, while the aftertaste is light and dry.

Verdict: When the state of Utah transitioned the maximum strength of “low-point beer” to 5.0 percent from 4.0 percent ABV, very few local brewers were making anything below 4.8 percent, and few dared to offer anything at 3.2, no matter if it was to style or not. Kudos to Proper for designing a beer with a purpose that finds a niche you didn’t know was needed.

Daydrinker is available on draft at Proper Brewing in Moab, as well as the main Salt Lake City brewery. The Ogden Beer / Fisher Brewing lager is exclusive to those two breweries, and will be around until it’s not. As always, cheers!

MIKE

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Block Party 300 Soft Opening

Com Com Kitchen (comcomkitchen.com) owner Danny Cheng has once again partnered with Frank Granato to bring Block Party 300 (1391 S. 300 West) to life. Fans of their culinary innovation will know them from Holladay’s food hall Block Party 2700, and together they have created a space that merges the commissary kitchen concept with a food truck park. Oct. 7 marks the beginning of its soft-opening phase, and diners will be able to enjoy a rotating roster of food trucks from the convenience of a patio dining space. It’s only a skip and a jump away from Shades Brewing, which has recently unveiled a new beer hall. Based on Cheng’s and Granato’s previous track record, this will be a place you’ll want to keep an eye on.

Xiao Bao Bao Plans for Grand Opening

After a successful soft opening period, local pastry chef Romina Rasmussen and her partners brothers Dwight and Derrick Yee are feeling confident about Xiao Bao Bao (216 E. 500 South). The trio is planning on hosting a grand opening of their new concept that serves up a bevy of filled bao—Japanese steamed buns that are stuffed with sweet or savory fillings. The business will be hosted in the space that previously held Rasmussen’s bakery Les Madeleines, so fans of Rasmussen’s previous pastry work will know right where to find it. Keep checking out their Instagram (@xiaobaobaoslc) for more updates.

I Heart Mac & Cheese Opens

A Florida-based fast casual chain called I Heart Mac & Cheese will open its first location in Spanish Fork (1287 N. Canyon Creek Parkway) on Oct. 9. As the name implies, this restaurant digs deep into the niche comfort food that is macaroni and cheese. In addition to incorporating cheesy variations like buffalo sauce, blue cheese, lobster, white truffle and chicken parm into the mac and cheese zeitgeist, the restaurant will also serve grilled cheese sandwiches and offer vegan options. It’s still a bit early to tell if this is the tip of a mac and cheese iceberg that will take the state by storm—á la our obsession with fried chicken—but we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

Quote of the Week: “I believe it is a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.” –Michael

Ruhlman

Still Standing

Local R&B artist Kimi talks about the reflective work emerging from the pandemic.

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

It goes without saying that we want to put the pandemic behind us. The tumultuous time made us all stop and think, for better or worse. Singer/songwriter Kimi Huntsman has been writing and recording music for many years, but she experienced a wakeup call during the pandemic that made her want to take her music career to a new level, and start a new chapter in her musical journey.

Huntsman, who goes by just Kimi professionally, began expressing herself through original music starting in her early 20s. Scrolling through that work is like looking through a journal that’s been written in over the course of several years; you can see a lot of growth and change over these long stretches of time. Some of it is fun to look back on, but others, not so much. “Some of them have gone on mute, or hidden because, oh my gosh,” Huntsman laughed.

We all have those cringey moments from our youth that are better left kept in our memories. In general, though, the songs mark an important evolution in how Huntsman has come to express herself.

“I’ll go back to a period in my life, and I hear a song I wrote, and I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s exactly how I was feeling, but I guess was ignoring it.’ It’s an interesting way to see my emotions out on paper,” she said. “I also think I’ve just learned a lot about my voice and how I want to use it,

and what I want to get across to people. A decade ago, I feel like I was writing more generic things, and now I’m making it a little more personal. I feel like I’ve learned that that does better, it relates with people better, and I like it better too.”

R&B is where Huntsman feels most at home—the combination of soul, bluesy beats and smooth voices not only draw her in as a listener, but inspire her to create her own music of the same genre. Drawing influence from the likes of Aretha Franklin, SZA and Kehlani, Huntsman has created her own signature brand of addictive R&B.

“I like to make music I like to listen to,” she said. “There’s just so much emotion in the beat and in the lyrics, and I definitely like the emotional side of it.”

You can also catch her doing a lot of hiphop shows around town, mostly because the R&B scene isn’t as big as it could be in SLC. “It’s a weird genre right now, but it’s my favorite,” she said. “I can’t get away from it, but that is why I do a lot of hiphop shows. Usually if you like R&B, you like hip-hop. If you like hip-hop, you like R&B.”

Huntsman was coasting along until the pandemic—for many of us, quarantine and the state of the world slapped some reality into our faces, and that much was true for the singer/songwriter. “The pandemic was huge for me. I feel like I got very comfortable with the life I was living before the pandemic, and I was okay not pursuing my dreams, as sad as that sounds,” she said. “As we got towards the end of it, I was getting definitely stir-crazy, and all I could do was write, and all I wanted to do was perform. I think that made me realize I needed to, for my own happiness, still do it and get into it more.”

Her most recent release, “Still Standing,” is a product of that drive to focus on music and take these aspects of her life more seriously. The track was released in June, and will quench your thirst for R&B, if that’s something you’re thirsting for. If nothing else, it’s a relatable and emotional track that makes you feel seen.

“The last two years of my life especially

MUSIC

have been a complete change. Everything in my life has changed, basically,” Huntsman explained of the song. “At the time, going through it, I didn’t feel like it was going to be for the best, so now that I’m coming out and on the other side of all the changes, I went through all this hard stuff, and I’m still going through the daily things like bills, but trying to be positive. I’m still here, I’m still standing, still doing what I need to be doing to make myself happy, and I’m actually better off than I was before. So that one really just speaks on my life changes the last few years that have been crazy.”

While she doesn’t have specific dates to share at the moment for additional releases and shows, rest assured, they are coming. The music and performances that

are coming are work that Huntsman has been pouring her heart into, so we’re in for a treat.

Going forward, she hopes listeners hone in on the emotion in her music—and while doing that, hopefully it helps them feel less alone. “When people are listening to my music, I want them to know it’s usually coming from a real raw place, or something that I’ve been through or have experienced,” she said. “I want listeners to hear the raw emotion and the real feelings, and know that I’m just a normal human, just like everyone else that goes through these same things.”

Head to Huntsman’s Instagram, @kimiii_ut, to get all of her links, and be sure to stream “Still Standing” to have those beautiful R&B vibes rain over you. CW

Kimi TYLER SORENSEN

FRIDAYS DJ FRESH(NESS)

SATURDAYS

POKER @ 2PM DJ DELMAGGIO

THURSDAYS SHARK SUNDAYS POOL TOURNEY HOSTED BY JARED AND TANNER

MONDAYS

REGGAE MONDAY WITH DJ NAPO

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS KARAOKE

By Emilee Atkinson

Keys N Krates @ Soundwell 10/5

Canadian electronic music band Keys N Krates is known for their live hip-hop with heavy bass beats. The group—featuring drummer Adam Tune, keyboardist David Matisse and the internationally-awarded turntablist, Jr. Flo (Greg Dawson)—first broke into the mainstream with the EP SOLOW in 2013, which included hit singles “Dum Dee Dum” and “Treat me Right,” and received support from major electronic music artists including Diplo, Major Lazer and Flosstradamus. Each member brings their respective musical talents together for a bass-centric, sample-driven sound, melding the realms of electronic, hip-hop, grime, trap, house and UK bass music. The trio is unique for combining live instrumentation, turntablism and live sampling to remix existing music samples with top-notch synthesizing. Their most recent album, Original Classic, was released in 2021 on Last Gang Records, and is full of Brazilian beats and Bollywood samples, marking an astounding continuation of their open experimentation in music. For over a decade, Keys N Krates have built a reputation for hybrid dance music with performances at the Electric Zoo, Lollapalooza, TomorrowWorld and Sonar festivals, as well as headlining tours. SLC’s Live Nite Events (LNE) brings the trio to Salt Lake City for a night full of dancing at Soundwell on Thursday, Oct 5 at 8:30 p.m., doors at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $10 (limited quantity available at press time), General Admission $20. Go to lnepresents.com. (Arica Roberts)

MUSIC PICK S

By Emilee Atkinson

Knock2

Knock2 @ SECRET WAREHOUSE 10/6

One of the biggest breakout EDM DJs of last year was Richard Nakhonethap, AKA, Knock2. His bass/house music with trap influence brings a massive party energy that has gained him an incredible fan base in a short time. In 2021, he had no playlisting or shows due to COVID19 pandemic restrictions, yet his iconic bass house anthem dashstar* found major online success. As shows and festivals returned in 2022, there has been high demand to see the live energy of his music. Knock2 secured the third slot on the EDCLV 2023 “most played” list, and has gained support from the likes of DJ Snake, Tiesto and Joyryde. Knock2 launched his debut headline show experience, Room202, to a sold-out Los Angeles audience. Room 202 is a conceptual warehouse show that prioritizes an intimate experience over the typical highproduction concert that currently dominates dance music. The impact has been immediate; his debut headline tour includes shows in London and across the country instantly selling out. This show marks a continuation of the Room202 experience, and will feature the massive anthems “MAKE U SWEAT!” and “rock ur world” from the widely acclaimed Room202 EP. Knock2 performs at a secret warehouse location (1442 S. 700 West) in downtown SLC on Friday, Oct 6 at 9 p.m. Tickets cost $30. Go to knock2music.com. (Arica Roberts)

MUSIC PICK S

Neon Trees @ The Complex 10/7

It’s always exciting to see Utah bands who have gone off to do great things come back home for a visit. Provo natives Neon Trees are making their way back to SLC (not quite home, but close) for a fun night celebrating an upcoming project. Neon Trees dropped a brand new single, “Losing My Head,” in September, following their June release “Favorite Daze.” The Trees are gearing up for an upcoming album, coming in 2024, with no set date as of yet. “Losing My Head” was the first track written for the new album, and it sets the tone for the rest to come. “I found in destroying everything I once held to be the foundation of my life, my moral compass. Instead of a prison of my own design, I found freedom in not knowing exactly what’s going to happen next, not knowing exactly the point of life, or my own purpose,” said vocalist Tyler Glenn of the single. “I had freedom to rebuild: to look at relationships and see what ones were actually vital, and what ones were draining me of my energy. To look at systems put in place that actually oppress me and limit me, systems that never had space or consideration for me in the first place. To ask hard questions, to lose ego, to get angry, to ditch apathy.” Come check out Neon Trees as they return home with their new jams. Laundry Days and Silent Rivals open on Saturday, Oct 7 at 6:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $29.50 each and can be found at thecomplexslc.com. (Emilee

Atkinson)

Bad Religion @ The Union 10/10

One might expect that any band could sweeten its sound with time—or not. Bad Religion was formed in 1980 by Brett Gurewitz, Greg Graffin and Jay Bentley, and while the band has gone through multiple line-up changes, their specific “fuck what you’ve been told; trust no authority, big words are fun,” message is still perfect for punk youth and aging rockers alike. Bad Religion is still fighting against the status quo, while having fun playing their decades of hits. “I just think that a long view of the genre will prove, if you want to analyze it, that punk is a

resilient art form and it’s had many kinds of ebbs and flows,” Graffin told SPIN last year. “It’s gone in directions nobody could have predicted, and that has not destroyed my desire, one bit, to continue making contributions to it.” Their current tour coincides with the 30th anniversary of the band’s album Recipe for Hate, which reaches peaks beyond some of their other more popular records; “American Jesus” and “Skyscraper” are up there with the best songs they’ve ever written. If you have never seen them live, their concerts are a place where everything stops, and for hours, it’s all singalong camaraderie, arm-in-arm with strangers yelling in unison. Take my money already. Dwarves and Speed of Light open. Catch all of these acts at The Union on Tuesday, Oct 10. Doors at 6:30 p.m. Show starts at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $39.50 and can be found at ticketmaster.com (Mark Dago)

Tool @ Delta Center 10/11

The mighty Tool are making their way to SLC on a huge tour this fall, continuing to celebrate the anniversary of their debut 1992 EP Opiate that they started in 2022. Last year marked the huge milestone, and to commemorate the release, they put out “Opiate 2,” a reimagining of EP’s title track. So what is there to say about Tool that hasn’t been said already? The legendary group debuted over three decades ago, and have firmly cemented themselves into rock/metal history. They are good at keeping their fans hungry, though, that’s for sure. With a massive 13-year gap between albums from 2006 to 2019, and from 2019 to last year with that lone single, they know how to keep dedicated fans hooked—but perhaps that’s what makes Tool so special. Not having too much of a good thing is just fine. Whether you first heard “Schism” in 2001, or are hearing it for the first time today, you’re still going to be blown away by the musicianship, technical ability and pure face-melting sounds they dole out. Come out to see them at the recently re-dubbed Delta Center on Wednesday, Oct 11 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $65-150, and can be found at ticketmaster.com. (EA)

ALICE BAXLEY

By Emilee Atkinson

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

I’ve been doing interviews in support of my new book Astrology Is Real: Revelations From My Life as an Oracle Now and then, I’m asked this question: “Do you actually believe all that mystical woo-woo you write about?” I respond diplomatically, though inwardly I’m screaming, “How profoundly hypocritical I would be if I did not believe in the ‘mystical woo-woo’ I have spent my adult life studying and teaching!” But here’s my polite answer: I love and revere the venerable spiritual philosophies that some demean as “mystical woo-woo.” I see it as my job to translate those subtle ideas into well-grounded, practical suggestions that my readers can use to enhance their lives. Everything I just said is the prelude for your assignment, Aries: Work with extra focus to actuate your high ideals and deep values in the ordinary events of your daily life. As the American idioms advise: Walk your talk and practice what you preach

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

I’m happy to see the expanding use of service animals. Initially, there were guide dogs to assist humans with imperfect vision. Later, there came mobility animals for those who need aid in moving around and hearing animals for those who can’t detect ringing doorbells. In recent years, emotional support animals have provided comfort for people who benefit from mental health assistance. I foresee a future in which all of us feel free and eager to call on the nurturing of companion animals. You may already have such friends, Taurus. If so, I urge you to express extra appreciation for them in the coming weeks. Ripen your relationship. And if not, now is an excellent time to explore the boost you can get from loving animals.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Gemini author Chuck Klosterman jokes, “I eat sugared cereal almost exclusively. This is because I’m the opposite of a ‘no-nonsense’ guy. I’m an ‘all-nonsense’ guy.” The coming weeks will be a liberating time for you to experiment with being an all-nonsense person, dear Gemini. How? Start by temporarily suspending any deep attachment you have to being a serious, hyper-rational adult doing staid, weighty adult things. Be mischievously committed to playing a lot and having maximum fun. Dancing sex! Ice cream uproars! Renegade fantasies! Laughter orgies! Joke romps! Giddy brainstorms and euphoric heartstorms!

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Cancerian comedian Gilda Radner said, “I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” Let’s use that as a prime metaphor for you in the coming weeks. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will be wise to opt for what feels good over what merely looks good. You will make the right choices if you are committed to loving yourself more than trying to figure out how to get others to love you. Celebrate highly functional beauty, dear Cancerian. Exult in the clear intuitions that arise as you circumvent selfconsciousness and revel in festive self-love.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

The amazingly creative Leo singer-songwriter Tori Amos gives this testimony: “All creators go through a period where they’re dry and don’t know how to get back to the creative source. Where is that waterfall? At a certain point, you say, ‘I’ll take a rivulet.’” Her testimony is true for all of us in our quest to find what we want and need. Of course, we would prefer to have permanent, unwavering access to the waterfall. But that’s not realistic. Besides, sometimes the rivulet is sufficient. And if we follow the rivulet, it may eventually lead to the waterfall.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Do you perform experiments on yourself? I do on myself. I formulate hypotheses about what might be healthy for me, then carry out tests to gather evidence about whether they are. A recent one was: Do I feel my best if I eat five small meals per day or three bigger ones? Another: Is my sleep most rejuvenating if I go to bed at 10 pm and wake up at

7 a.m. or if I sleep from midnight to 9 a.m.? I recommend you engage in such experiments in the coming weeks. Your body has many clues and revelations it wants to offer you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Take a few deep, slow breaths. Let your mind be a blue sky where a few high clouds float. Hum your favorite melody. Relax as if you have all the time in the world to be whoever you want to be. Fantasize that you have slipped into a phase of your cycle when you are free to act as calm and unhurried as you like. Imagine you have access to resources in your secret core that will make you stable and solid and secure. Now read this Mary Oliver poem aloud: “You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

An Oklahoma woman named Mary Clamser used a wheelchair from age 19 to 42 because multiple sclerosis made it hard to use her legs. Then a miracle happened. During a thunderstorm, she was hit by lightning. The blast not only didn’t kill her; it cured the multiple sclerosis. Over the subsequent months, she recovered her ability to walk. Now I’m not saying I hope you will be hit by a literal bolt of healing lightning, Scorpio, nor do I predict any such thing. But I suspect a comparable event or situation that may initially seem unsettling could ultimately bring you blessings.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

What are your favorite mind-altering substances? Coffee, tea, chocolate, sugar or tobacco? Alcohol, pot, cocaine or opioids? Psilocybin, ayahuasca, LSD or MDMA? Others? All the above? Whatever they are, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to re-evaluate your relationship with them. Consider whether they are sometimes more hurtful than helpful, or vice versa; and whether the original reasons that led you to them are still true; and how your connection with them affects your close relationships. Ask other questions, too! P.S.: I don’t know what the answers are. My goal is simply to inspire you to take an inventory.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In his book Meditations for Miserable People Who Want to Stay That Way, Dan Goodman says, “It’s not that I have nothing to give, but rather that no one wants what I have.” If you have ever been tempted to entertain dour fantasies like that, I predict you will be purged of them in the coming weeks and months. Maybe more than ever before, your influence will be sought by others. Your viewpoints will be asked for. Your gifts will be desired, and your input will be invited. I trust you won’t feel overwhelmed!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

William James (1842–1910) was a paragon of reason and logic. So influential were his books about philosophy and psychology that he is regarded as a leading thinker of the 19th and 20th centuries. On the other hand, he was eager to explore the possibilities of supernatural phenomena like telepathy. He even consulted a trance medium named Leonora Piper. James said, “If you wish to upset the law that all crows are black, it is enough if you prove that one crow is white. My white crow is Mrs. Piper.” I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because I suspect you will soon discover a white crow of your own. As a result, long-standing beliefs may come into question; a certainty could become ambiguous; an incontrovertible truth may be shaken. This is a good thing!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

If we hope to cure our wounds, we must cultivate a focused desire to be healed. A second essential is to be ingenious in gathering the resources we need to get healed. Here’s the third requirement: We must be bold and brave enough to scramble up out of our sense of defeat as we claim our right to be vigorous and whole again. I wish all these powers for you in the coming weeks.

11. Pfizer release of 1998

14. Peter, Paul or Mary

18. Period

22. Deli subs

23. Kind of wave

Salt Lake Spooky

It’s spooky-malooky season, and who doesn’t love a good scare? There’s plenty to be found in Utah if you look in the right places—trust me!

Five of the more notoriously haunted places in the Salt Lake City area are the Rio Grande Depot, the Capitol Theatre, the former International Dunes Hotel (which became the Shilo Inn and then the Holiday Express Inn) at 206 S. West Temple, the McCune Mansion at 200 N. Main, and the U of U Fort Douglas Military Museum.

known for its pore strips

Last week’s answers

The Rio Grande Depot has been closed since the big earthquake a few years ago but is known for sightings of the “purple lady,” the apparition of a young woman dressed in a purple gown who is said to have died trying to retrieve her wedding ring on the train tracks. She’s been seen in the women’s bathroom. Security guards reported hearing footsteps, heavy breathing and shadowy apparitions.

The Capitol Theatre had a fire in 1949 that killed a teenage usher. Volunteers and employees have smelled smoke without evidence of fire and have watched drawers open and close, one by one. The latter mystery caused two police officers to quit working there as security guards.

46. Digs

SUDOKU X Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Some of us remember a horrible morning in 1978 at the then-International Dunes Hotel when mother Rachel David coaxed or pushed her seven children over the hotel’s 11th floor balcony. David then followed by jumping herself. During morning rush hour, bodies were falling out of the sky—it was awful for onlookers. All but one of the family died. Since that day, employees say they hear footsteps and laughter when guests are not around.

The McCune Mansion—with its grand exterior sandstone staircase— was completed in 1898 by Alfred W. McCune. Currently an events center, many folks say they’ve encountered two spirits in the building. The first is that of a tall man wearing a black cape who, when seen, is not scary but friendly. He likes to observe what’s going on in the building. The second spirit is of a 10-year-old girl and is thought to be that of a child whose picture hangs in the mansion. Apparently, she’s quite playful, loves to help decorate for the weddings there and has been caught on film many times.

Fort Douglas’ famous ghost is “Clem,” supposedly the spirit of a Civil War veteran who took his own life at the fort. People have seen him or heard footsteps on the stairs. He’s a stocky

NEWS of the WEIRD

BY THE EDITORS AT ANDREWS MCMEEL

The Easily Offended

A resident of Trail in British Columbia called the police on Sept. 8 to complain about a man wearing camouflage pants, which he believed to be a violation of some rule, the Toronto Sun reported. The caller, 27, said he was “offended on behalf of the military” and requested that an officer come find the man and remove his pants. When the officer said he could not do that, the caller said he would remove the man’s pants himself “under order of (the) king of England.” The local Royal Canadian Mounted Police did look for the camouflage wearer, presumably to warn him about the caller, but—surprise!—couldn’t find him.

News That Sounds Like a Joke

After the long-awaited capture of escaped fugitive Danelo Cavalcante on Sept. 13, Pennsylvania State Police Lt. Col. George Bivens held a press conference to share the details of the arrest, Huff Post reported. One attendant, a podcaster named Michael Rainey, gets the prize for the most bizarre question posed to Bivens: “Was there any concern he (Cavalcante) would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, ‘Little Rascals’-style?” What? On X, Rainey said he “knew no one else would ask the questions that needed to be asked. Also, they were very polite in asking me to leave.” Bivens shot a curt “No” back to Rainey’s question before the podcaster was encouraged to hit the exit.

Awesome!

Pedro Carvalho, CEO of Destilaria Levira, a wine distillery in Levira, Portugal, assured citizens that the 600,000 gallons of red wine that spilled from the facility on Sept. 10 and covered the city’s streets would not leave a lingering smell because it was “good quality wine.”

The New York Times reported that one tank collapsed because of a “structural failure,” knocking over another tank. The distillery promised to “take full responsibility for the costs associated with damage cleanup and repair,” which included one basement that was flooded. Firefighters collected some of the wine and removed it to a wastewater treatment plant.

Irony

Sure, if you work for the Walt Disney Co., you expect to have mice all around you on the daily. But at the company’s headquarters in New York City, advertising staffers on the fifth floor were advised on Sept. 11 to clear out “immediately” because the building was infested with the happy little rodents (oh, and also, fleas), the New York Post ’s PageSix reported. “Risk management and facilities teams are aware of these issues and working to quickly resolve them,” the email to personnel said. One source said the existing building is set to be demolished and “there’s no incentive for upkeep. At any given time, most of the elevators are broken.” Sounds like a fairy-tale job.

What’s in a Name?

We’ll keep this short: Michael Gordon Dick, 61, of Beaverton, Oregon, was sentenced on Sept. 11 to 90 months in prison following his guilty plea for felony public indecency, KPTV reported. Dick was arrested last year after someone reported him standing on a bench in a backyard, naked from the waist down and looking into neighbors’ backyards. He was on probation for the same crime when the incident took place.

Bright Idea

Police in Wiltshire, England, were called out on Sept. 12 when a neighbor spotted a grisly scene by the side of the road—an arm and two bloody feet hanging out of a garbage bin. Wiltshire Live reported that as officers scoured other trash cans located nearby, one resident alerted them that the body parts were fake and he had placed them in a neighbor’s bin as a prank. “It’s just a practical joke that got out of hand,” he said. “I’ve put them in a bag so they can’t be seen now.” Save it for Halloween, chap.

It’s Come to This

Rock climbers in British Columbia’s Squamish area, north of Vancouver, have a new convenience available to them: Waste Alleviating Gel (WAG) bag stations. Yep, they’re disposable poop bags for humans. The CBC reported that after an “explosion in the usage of our backcountry areas ... increasingly we are finding that there are issues with human waste, particularly in our more remote crags (cliffs with climbing routes),” according to Ben Webster, chair of the Squamish Access Society. Katy Holm, an owner of a store called Climb On, called the quality of the bags “totally robust. You don’t have to fear that it’s going to explode or anything.” Well, that’s a relief!

Attention, Tourists!

Looking for something else to do in Washington, D.C., besides touring endless monuments and galleries? Check out the Museum of Failure, WUSA-TV suggested. The brainchild of Dr. Samuel West, the Museum of Failure is a traveling exhibition that features some of history’s biggest busts, from Crystal Pepsi to Thirsty Cat (fish-flavored water for your cat). “We need to be better at learning from failure,” West said. “I want visitors to recognize that failure is an essential aspect of progress and innovation.” The museum also includes a Failure Confessional, where visitors can leave their own personal flops behind. Don’t fail to check it out: The museum will be open until Dec. 10.

Cry for Help

If there was ever a place where it would be better to let a dropped Apple Watch go, a Michigan woman found it. ABC News reported that on Sept. 19, passersby called police when they heard a woman yelling for help from within an outhouse. The unidentified woman had lowered herself into the outhouse toilet to retrieve her Apple Watch, which had fallen into the unmentionable muck below. Unable to climb back out, the woman resorted to yelling for assistance, and she was eventually lifted out via strap by first responders. State police issued a statement with a warning to any fumblefingers who might follow the woman’s poor example: “If you lose an item in an outhouse toilet, do not attempt to venture inside the containment area. Serious injury may occur.”

Sounds Fishy

Grocery shoppers in some BILLA supermarkets in Europe are finding themselves face to face with the latest innovation in food technology—groceries that are fresh ... off the printer. Austrian-based food-tech startup Revo Foods has developed a 3D-printed vegan fish filet that is “inspired by salmon,” which Popular Science reported “relies on mycoprotein made from nutrition-heavy filamentous fungi” that “naturally offers a meat-like texture.” The company has announced that The Filet will be available on its webstore on Oct. 1, but sorry, U.S.-based wannabe print-pescatarians: Revo ships to the EU only. The company expects to reach the U.S. market by 2025.

Bear Necessities

A Krispy Kreme driver delivering doughnuts to an Express convenience store on Joint Base ElmendorfRichardson in Alaska on Sept. 12 learned the hard way to lock up his van whenever he leaves it, after a pair of doughnut thieves raided his ride and got their fill. And when you’re talking about a mama bear and her cub, that’s a lot. “They ate 20 packages of the doughnut holes and I believe six packages of the three-pack chocolate doughnuts,” said Shelly Deano, manager of the Express store. KTUU-TV reported that no humans or bears were injured during the doughnut raid, and that base security personnel were able to convince the bears to leave by blasting loud sirens.

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