City Weekly September 14, 2023

CITY WEEKLY

Trust No One

Local law enforcement warns of increased online harassment and extortion in the post-pandemic era.

BY CAROLYN CAMPBELL

S AP

BOX

“Bounty Hunting,” Aug. 31 Cover Story

Wow! Two cover stories on the anti-porn law? Someone is missing their content! I noted the writer of both stories is an industry shill from out-of-state.

This story has the aftertaste of Big Tobacco (or Big Pharma) and their damagecontrol campaigns. We should feel bad for poor, penniless PornHub the way we do for R.J. Reynolds. And we have a great euphemism for porn—the “adult entertainment” industry. One thinks of all those “gentlemen” going to gentlemen’s clubs.

The article further stretches reality by suggesting all people who want to limit access to porn to persons under 18 are hapless right-wingers afraid of their shadows, or that other First Amendment rights and even entire churches could get banned.

Finally, your cover illustration blatantly and literally objectifies women. The leering red devil at the top looked pretty pleased. And I am still searching for an explanation of the angry old white guy in old-fashioned clothing firing on the voters and readers.

MARK REX

Salt Lake City

“City Council Bans Drive-thrus in Sugar House …” Sept. 7 online

Thank God, this has been a long time coming. Haters are gonna hate, but no one will remember or care about them in the future when people are enjoying safer streets with fewer cars. Cheers.

ANDREWKATSO

Via Instagram

Drive-thrus are important, especially for sickly people. Place future drive-thru businesses away from main flow roads. Remove bike lanes from main flow roads and make alternative bike routes in safer locations. No on-street parking, we need more parking structures. All of these things will decrease traffic on main roads and decrease non-vehicular traffic in high flow zones.

Just my opinion.

RYANHASTINGS_

Via Instagram

My thoughts are, you better get out of that Chick-fil-A line LOL. I do think it’s a decent idea—environmental wise— but I think it will affect businesses.

JRC EVENTS

Via Facebook

Let’s be real. It was only Chick-fil-A causing this problem. Why [does] everyone else gotta pay the price? Make them move or only ban [their] drive-thru.

BREWJA801

Via Instagram

Let’s just make it harder for disabled, sick and elderly. That makes sense (sarcasm).

LAR_M_J

Via Instagram

One step closer to a pedestrian friendly, more connected community. Love.

THETRASHPILE

Via Instagram

Why is it the government’s business to get involved in this?

PETE EDWARD

Via Facebook

Chick-fil-A needs to be taken out of Sugar House.

MILLDAW

Via Instagram

Less idling, I’m down!

PURPLEGLOW BUTTERFLY Via Instagram

Good. People idle here willy-nilly as is.

TEAM_BUTT_SNIFF

Via Instagram

I live in the area. Thank you!.

SIMOSAYSLC

Via Instagram

When you’re sick and picking up medication, drive-thru seems like a good idea.

MERILEE.MURRAY

Via Instagram

This is absurd and pathetic.

AUSTONCALL

Via Instagram

Send letters to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten at the Utah State Fair?

Katharine Biele

Cotton candy.

Benjamin Wood

There was a corndog stand one year that wrapped the dog in a pickle, inside the corn shell. Didn’t quite live up to my expectations but still yummy.

Larry Carter

Deep-fried Oreo cookies.

Wes Long

I’ve only ever eaten one thing at the fair, and that was peanut brittle, which I happen to like.

Kelly Boyce

A deep-fried hot dog/pickle covered in hot Cheetohs. Marketing A+. Taste ... I lasted maybe 2.5 bites before tossing it in the trash.

Carolyn Campbell

I was 5 years old when I went to the Utah State Fair with my grandparents. A friend of my grandpa’s was selling food from a truck. He asked, “Would you like to try a piece of pizza?” Pizza was the sushi of that time—exotic before it became ubiquitous. We backed away a little, thinking it might be too spicy. “Go ahead, it’s not too hot,” the man said. They handed me a piece. Warm delicious cheese flowed over my tongue, and it was love at first sight.

BY CALVIN JOLLEY

OPINION Talk Is Cheap

In July, state Sen. Nate Blouin, D-Salt Lake City, authored an email paid for and distributed by Erin Mendenhall’s mayoral reelection campaign. “The constructive tone Erin has set has finally created a real partnership in confronting the statewide homelessness crisis,” he said.

The idea of “partnership” between the incumbent Salt Lake City mayor and state legislators obscures the statistics of Utah’s 2023 Annual Data Report on Homelessness. The Deseret News reported that it “showed a 96% increase in people experiencing chronic homelessness since 2019 and a 10% jump, year over year, to 8,637 people experiencing homelessness for the first time.”

Square these numbers with a recent re-election ad by Mendenhall, boasting that Salt Lake City’s two homeless centers can increase capacity by 50 beds apiece, plus another 200 beds during “Code Blue” events when temperatures are 15 degrees Fahrenheit or lower. The majority of overflow beds aren’t even in Salt Lake City, but other places throughout the county.

Paucities. Out-of-city solutions. Arbitrariness.

Anything below 32 degrees is freezing. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicates that extreme cold varies, meaning we can experience it at temperatures above freezing. Fifteen degrees—well below freezing—is an odd number that appears to mean something.

I invite Mayor Mendenhall or state homeless coordinator Wayne Niederhauser to spend a couple nights outside this winter and report back to the public. What is the difference between 15 and 17 degrees? Or between 17 and 20?

Last winter, unhoused SLC residents died at unprecedented rates. Richard Markosian of Utah Stories reported that the city’s count is likely low, and The Salt Lake Tribune revealed

that at least a dozen people had died due to exposure. Winter descends, and Mendenhall touts a long-term strategy. But, as reported by the Deseret News, she now lacks funding.

A strategy without funding? At best, this is wishful thinking. And at worst? Another winter with our incumbent as mayor.

Instead of ideating and enacting solutions, Mendenhall is on record saying that sanctioned encampments aren’t the city’s responsibility. Mendenhall ultimately flip-flopped on the topic, changing her campaign message. “[M]y administration and staff … are working daily … on a safe, structured sanctioned campground,” she now claims, while continuing to condone raids on the houseless.

Of the abatements, Mendenhall said in June: “We participate in those because it’s inhumane for a city to allow [unhoused residents to live in] public spaces that were never fit for human habitation.” This is a classic example of punishing the victim.

Sen. Blouin claims that Mendenhall’s work has “resulted in direct investment in reducing the impacts of homelessness.” Huh? I’ve deliberated over what his words, when cobbled together, mean. A deconstruction of the sentence reveals it describes nothing. Moreover, our streets showcase the opposite of Blouin’s sloganeering.

People are forced from one unlawful camp to the next because there’s nowhere to go. These folks require shelter, hospitalization and/or rehabilitation. Instead of meaningful reform, Mendenhall humanizes the cyclical abuse of government-sanctioned abatements—a mean-spirited act that includes stealing from the poorest among us.

In a KSL NewsRadio report, Rocky Anderson—former two-term mayor and candidate for reelection this November—talked about the previous winter: “We had people on our streets dying of the freezing cold, getting frostbite and having their fingers and their toes amputated,” he said. “That is an absolute crisis, and it was ignored.”

What do meaningful political partnerships really look like? They look like Anderson’s relationship with Latterday Saints and non-LDS communities, his positive associations with Republicans and his forthright engagement with the media, Capitol Hill and the public.

Anderson is transparent. He’s empathetic. This past winter, he personally drove a frostbitten victim to the emergency room. Between The Salt Lake Tribune and Deseret News, there exist many articles that report on his commitment to bipartisanship.

Following the 2002 Winter Olympics, Anderson endorsed now-Utah Sen. Mitt Romney for Massachusetts governor, and Romney in turn endorsed Anderson’s reelection campaign. As reported by the Deseret News, the Alliance for Unity was a “brainchild of two political opposites, industrialist Jon Huntsman Sr. and Salt Lake Mayor Rocky Anderson.” The program brought together civic, business and religious leaders of all faiths and political backgrounds to bridge divides in the community.

A 2003 Deseret News article about the Joseph Smith Memorial Building’s 10th anniversary quotes Gordon B. Hinkley—the late president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—praising then-Mayor Anderson’s leadership. Anderson also received the 2019 Leonard Weinglass in Defense of Civil Liberties Award from the American Association for Justice.

Humane results through dialogue, constructive collaboration, partnerships unrestricted by political or religious affiliation as well as humor, sensitivity, transparency and seriousness. These rank among the man’s documented strengths as a public servant.

Our collective humanity deserves solutions for our city’s houseless—not senatorial marketing puffery in “Paid for by Mendenhall” advertisements. We need representation that understands the difference between brinkmanship and positive change.

I’m disenchanted with Sen. Nate Blouin and the other supporters of Mayor Erin Mendenhall, not because they don’t see what I see—but because what they describe isn’t what I see. CW

Calvin Jolley lives in Salt Lake’s Central City neighborhood. His credits include The American Book Review, MAYDAY Magazine by New American Press, Context South, 15 Bytes, Otis Nebula, and The Salt Lake Tribune. He is an issue voter who has no formal political affiliation with Rocky Anderson’s campaign for mayor.

HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele

MISS: Blame Games

Last week, there was a dust-up over homelessness—or at least over the response to it. Whose fault is it that the unhoused population keeps growing despite money, media and, of course, public angst? Most people know Salt Lake mayoral hopefuls Erin Mendenhall and Rocky Anderson are duking it out over the problem. At a Crossroads Urban Center candidate forum, Mayor Mendenhall said it was the state’s responsibility to do something. A Sunday Salt Lake Tribune story pointed to federal money coming in, although that’s about to end. It also noted that the Legislature has continued to cut taxes, even while homelessness becomes epidemic. But the audience at the forum was impatient and unforgiving. They didn’t want to play the blame game— they wanted accountability. The Trib story noted where the funds were sent, but not how they were spent, and it left the reader with this zinger: “Approximately 7% of the funds was handed out to two developers.”

MISS: Cut Lee’s Mic

Utah’s senior senator has been in the news a lot lately, but not for anything he’s accomplished. Mike Lee, for all his curious popularity, spends much of his time bitching about “the left” and calling attention to his close relationship to God, or Jesus, or Captain Moroni. This past week, Lee managed to see God’s wrath in the muddy flooding that halted the Burning Man Festival, probably because of all those New Age, commie hippies who attended. And now Lee thinks that defunding the military is a dandy idea because there might be a pregnant service member who wants an abortion, and the military would allow it. He and Alabama’s Tommy Tuberville think putting a stop to the slightest chance a fetus would be aborted is more important than defending the country. The Salt Lake Tribune also reported Lee’s concern that the Pentagon is secretly trying to shape public opinion. Well, it’s not working in Utah.

HIT: Unspoiled Lands

If the Utah inland port and its myriad polluters aren’t enough, the Salt Lake City Council is considering an “upzone” in an area north of Rose Park. That would allow an 1,800-unit development near Interstate 215 that would pretty much build over the last bit of agricultural land in the city. We’ll call it a win that the council deferred approval, pending more talk. The council got feedback asking for stronger requirements for a wetland buffer, zoning changes that would remove the possibility of a business park and requiring bird-friendly design. The pause gives more time for comments and data, even while the council says it wants to balance “development pressures, property owners’ rights, quality of life and environmental concerns.” While development often trumps any balance, maybe there’s hope for the neighborhood.

Growing Old

BY CAT PALMER comments@cityweekly.net

Hi. I’m Cat Palmer, and I’m officially middle-aged.

I bought binoculars the other day because now I apparently like to look at birds. For fun. This morning, “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt was playing on the local oldies station.

At my local coffee shop, they were training a new barista, and I was about to call the labor department to report child labor when the fresh-faced boy told me he was 20.

A friend gave me a refreshing spray for my face, explaining: “You’re perimenopausal now, and you’ll love this.” Honestly!? I thought. But she was right—I really do love it.

I’m very into ugly and comfortable shoes now. Insert a lesbian joke here if you must. My mosh-pit days are behind me. Now, when I dance for hours, I feel it for days.

I can passionately talk about what I grew in my garden this year, or how to elevate a dish with toasted sage—with absolutely zero shame.

Recently, some friends-of-a-certain-age went all the way to Santa Fe, New Mexico, to see the Dresden Dolls, only to find out that the doors wouldn’t open until 10 p.m.—as if Amanda Palmer and I aren’t the same age!

Is she a vampire? Is she just infinitely hipper and cooler than the rest of us? She’s certainly cooler than my friends, who after all that travel, opted for a cozy night in at their rental and skipped the show.

For the love of everything holy, why aren’t matinee concerts a thing?! Hear me out: Shows start at 2 p.m.; the band plays a contractually obligated 90-minute set; we all go out after to an early-bird dinner special without having to wait for a table; and we’d all be in bed before the doors open at the shows I’m stuck going to now.

Local concert promoters: This is a million-dollar idea. Call me.

My friends Lucas and Joshua got married—two beautiful ballet dancers. The wedding looked like the Met Gala of SLC! I thought, “Oh, I’ll take some video of these gorgeous outfits!” I ended up with a lot of videos of people’s feet and, no, that’s not my thing.

But is it a thing that once you hit middle age, you no longer know how to use your phone?!

Look, I know age is relative. My friend, Pat, is 67 and still running marathons. Another friend, Stuart, celebrated his 60th birthday by climbing K2. They both travel the world often and continue to live their best lives.

But I like the comforts of the life I have now. Walk a mile in my unsightly-yet-sensible shoes, and you just might agree. CW

Small Lake City is home to local writers and their opinions.

Laughter Hours

Crowdsourced Comedy’s All Women show highlights the skills of funny females.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Jasmine Lewis remembers what it was like to feel like she wanted to try performing comedy, but was intimidated by the prospect. “People always said, ‘You’re so funny,’ but I always felt I was not competent,” Lewis recalls. “A lot of women grow up with those insecurities … maybe some internal or societal pressure. But after starting comedy, it gave me a new confidence.”

Providing a place to build that kind of confidence might not have been the reason Crowdsourced Comedy launched its All Women Comedy Show in 2018, but it’s a big reason that it keeps going. Lewis—a regular member of Crowdsourced Comedy’s improv performances, as well as a co-producer with Craig Sorensen and frequent host of the all-woman shows— notes that the first incarnation of the show was planned as a one-off benefit show for Planned Parenthood, “back when we only had four women improvisers.” One of the troupe’s then-members, Jessica Sproage, suggested that it should be a more regular event once the company had more women members, and it has subsequently become a monthly occurrence, often selling out ahead of showtimes.

The format provides for a mix of traditional standup comedy and prompt-based improvisation. Local women standup comedians are invited to the show to per-

form, and the women members of Crowdsourced use those routines as the basis for their improv. “Someone does a bit that goes for like three minutes, and then we get to go, ‘How can I play off of that,’” Lewis says. “You can pluck an idea for a scene out of any story or joke.”

Rotating through local women standup comedians provides a showcase that they might not otherwise be able to find in a field where women still struggle to gain a foothold. “Women do find it a little more difficult to get booked on shows,” Lewis says. “Especially with improv, it’s really a white male-dominated field. … Women have trouble going to open mics and feeling welcome. It’s like, you have to be 10 times as funny to get attention.”

Beyond the challenges faced by women trying to get into comedy as a profession, there are also the challenges of the kinds of spaces where comedy is often performed. “We really pride ourselves on trying to create a safe space for women,” Lewis says. “They might think, I have to go to a bar, and go up and worry about getting heckled, or hit on. Women often feel like they have to contemplate going into these spaces, whether they feel welcome and open.

“When we started these, it was a lot worse,” she adds. “After we did the show, it gave a lot of women power to be interested.”

Not surprisingly, Lewis says, the crowds for the All Women Comedy Show tend to skew female—but not exclusively so. Men are certainly welcome, and many of them get into the right vibe, though there are exceptions “We’ve definitely had people walk out, and I think, “Well then, it’s definitely not the show for you,’” she says, then adds with a laugh, “If you’re a man and you attend, it means you are supportive, and if you don’t, it means you hate us.”

It is, true, she believes, that a comedy show made up of all women is invariably going to have its own unique perspective, with subject matter that might be more particular to the woman-identifying expe-

rience. But that doesn’t mean that the material is all about that life. “There’s nothing more fun than being in those shows and poking fun at the patriarchy,” Lewis says. “But with improv, it’s really about what’s funny at the time. We can do any kind of comedy and show off our skills.”

And while showing off their skills, they’re also showing off a dynamic that this format—with these particular performers—gives women comedic performers which they might not have in other settings. In part, Lewis believes, that comes from the group chemistry of the female members performing in this regular show, which has less turnover and rotation than the mixed-gender performances. But it also arises from a different energy that allows the women freedom to explore a variety of scenarios.

“You don’t have to feel nervous about stepping out to start a scene,” Lewis says. “And you don’t have to be pigeonholed by the roles you might otherwise be put into. You don’t have to play the mother, or the girlfriend, or the stripper, or whatever the

case may be. There’s just something about the feminine energy on the stage; you don’t have to worry about [the comedians] telling jokes that are like, ‘Yeaaaah, ooookay.’”

The result is a performance that doesn’t just promote the individual talents of Utah’s many funny women, but serves as the kind of encouragement Lewis herself might have needed back when she was considering starting out. “[Comedy] helped me laugh at myself, and it really changed my life in a really significant way,” she says. “That’s why we push creating that space: to help other women achieve that.” CW

CROWDSOURCED COMEDY ALL

Members of Crowdsourced Comedy perform at the All Women Comedy Show

Utah Silent Film Celebration

The Utah Silent Film Celebration might be a great way to experience some of classics of early cinema, but it was born as a way to further a different art form, and its students. According to festival founder and director Heather Smith, who is a professional piano teacher, “I had a student several years ago who was completely terrified to perform in front of people,” Smith says. “He could prepare for it, but he couldn’t get up on that stage. And I sensed his love of music was diminishing because of that terror.” Having heard of another instance of people using accompaniment to silent films as a way to showcase piano students, Smith gave it a try. “He was actually able to get up and accompany his scene; it made such a huge difference. I thought, ‘This is something that’s not just going to help my student, but maybe a bunch of students.’”

The now-annual event presents comedy classics like Harold Lloyd’s Safety Last, Charlie Chaplin’s The Rink and Buster Keaton’s Sherlock Jr., with more than 200 music students providing accompaniment based on authentic vintage scores Smith located in the Library of Congress. Veteran silent-film accompanist Blaine Gale will also participate for the screening of Safety Last.

The 2023 Utah Silent Film Celebration visits the Megaplex Theatres Legacy Crossing in Centerville (1075 Legacy Crossing Blvd.) on Friday, Sept. 15 and Saturday, Sept. 16, beginning with a welcome/introduction by Smith at 6 p.m. on Sept. 16. Tickets are $15 for individual screenings, and $40 for a full festival pass; visit utahsilentfilmcelebration.com for tickets, screening schedule and additional information. (Scott Renshaw)

HEATHER SMITH

Festa Italiana

Summer and fall is a time when multiple ethnic and cultural festivals fill the Utah events calendar, and it would be easy to highlight one nearly every week.

Mid-September serves as a showcase for the local Italian and Italian-American community, as the Italian American Civic League and Italian Club of Salt Lake jointly host the 7th installment of Festa Italiana, expecting to host more than 50,000 guests for two days of food, music and fun.

Food is definitely a centerpiece of our popular conception of Italian culture, and Festa Italiana offers plenty of ways to dive in. La Cucina Galbani Cooking Stage hosts demonstrations throughout both days, with cooking demonstrations by local and celebrity chefs, building up an appetite for more than a dozen food vendors including Granato’s, Pizzeria Nono, Sicilia Mia and Fratelli Ristorante, plus winetasting. And if you really want to get your munch on, you can sign up for the pizza and pasta-eating contests to see where your limits are with the most comforting of comfort food. Music performances include San Francisco’s Anthony Nino Lane Band and Italy’s own Musica da Ripostiglio. Arrive early on Saturday to participate in the 3rd annual Vintage Bike Ride, beginning at 10:30 a.m., or enjoy games, arts & crafts and historical displays all weekend.

The 2023 Festa Italiana takes place at The Gateway (400 W. 100 South) on Saturday, Sept. 16 (noon – 10 p.m.) and Sunday, Sept. 17 (noon – 7 p.m.). Admission is free and open to the public both days, including live entertainment. Visit festaitalianaslc.com for additional event information. (SR)

Chuck Palahniuk: Not Forever, But For Now

For an author, becoming a brand name with your first novel is something of a mixed blessing. Take the case of one Charles Michael “Chuck” Palahniuk, whose 1996 debut work Fight Club—and the subsequent 1999 film directed by David Fincher—immediately turned him into a kind of poster boy for edgy, transgressive fiction. But that also means that the subsequent 25-plus years have made him forever “the author of Fight Club,” through nearly 20 additional novels, short-story collections and coloring books. And to his credit, he has always embraced the legacy of his breakthrough work, including creating two follow-up Fight Club graphic novels with artist Cameron Stewart.

His latest novel, Not Forever, But For Now, continues the fine Chuck Palahniuk tradition of stories with premises likely to make you squirm just a little bit—or perhaps a lot. It’s the story of brothers Otto and Cecil, who are living a privileged life on the family estate in the countryside of Wales. There are just a few oddities about the family, most notably that Otto and Cecil have a tendency to murder the estate’s hired help. On a fairly consistent basis. And they’re not the first family members to be so inclined. Imagine Succession, if the family business were literal serial-killing.

Meet Palahniuk when he comes to Salt Lake City during a meet-and-greet at The King’s English Bookshop (1511 S. 1500 East) on Tuesday, Sept. 19 from 1 p.m. – 6 p.m.; the ticketed fundraiser event for The King’s English at 7 p.m. is sold-out at press time. Visit kingsenglish.com to purchase books or for additional event information. (SR)

Trust No One

Local law enforcement warns of increased online harassment and extortion in t he post-pandemic era.

BY CAROLYN CAMPBELL comments@cityweekly.net

Editor’s note: This article describes incidents of self-harm, extortion and abuse. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

“Ethan Parker” was only one of his fake names. He looked like a kid who might mow your neighbor’s lawn or take your little sister to the prom. You likely wouldn’t feel the slightest bit anxious if Parker stood in line behind you at the bank.

Nothing about his blond, good-guy looks reveals the terror he brought to an estimated 50 victims. He didn’t break into anyone’s home using lock picks or a crowbar. Instead, his particular evil invaded their safety via Snapchat and other online platforms.

Parker knew his victims’ home addresses; he threatened them with public exposure and embarrassment; he threatened to hurt them, rape them or abduct them into human trafficking. He did it all while living in his parent’s South Jordan home and without asking for money, as many “sextortionists” do.

“He was a shock to the Utah system,” said Sarah Lundquist, a special agent with the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, or ICAC, who investigated Parker.

Lundquist discovered Parker’s multiple online accounts and preserved his data in preparation for writing search warrants. She said the nature of apps like Snapchat allows perpetrators to hide, to be secretive and disappear instantly. Most Snapchat users don’t save much of their online information—but Parker did.

“He saved so much content that I couldn’t read it all,” she said. “It was good for us—bad for him.”

Parker would also use his victims’ Snapchat data against them, Lundquist said. Depending on a user’s location settings, their home or business can be pinpointed with precision by others. In some cases, Parker would ask for

nude and compromising photos and, if refused, he would respond by sharing increasingly zoomed-in images of his victim’s real-time locations, threatening to hurt them himself or to send their information to “all the creeps [he] can find online,” Lundquist said.

“His threats would scare an adult,” she said, “let alone a kid who can’t see past her phone.”

On the other side of this deadly coin are the victims, like Matt Morgan, whose youthful, fair-haired appearance is not so dissimilar from Parker’s.

In high school, Morgan (whose name has been changed for this article) played two varsity sports, sang in choirs and was an honor student with college plans. In an out-of-character move, he sent a sexually explicit video to someone he met online. That’s when the threats and terror started.

A single phone number texted him more than 1,000 times—sometimes every 30 seconds. Morgan sent all the money he had ever saved or earned to the entity that tormented him.

His final message begged, “Please don’t do this. You just killed a 16-yearold kid.” Moments later, Morgan took his own life.

“He was a good kid—one I won’t forget,” said Detective John Peirce of the Davis County Sheriff’s Office, who investigated Morgan’s case.

Within Peirce’s investigative work, he’s looked into at least six other suicides that appear related to sextortion.

Deception and Threats

All of the individuals interviewed for this article noted that sextortion perpetrated against male victims appears to have increased dramatically during the last two to three years

“Boys are the big ones when it comes to [demands for] money. Someone online will kind of catfish the victim, showing interest and pretending to be someone his age,” said ICAC Assistant Commander Matt Thompson. “They submit images they find online and try to get the child to be comfortable and submit similar images back.”

Thompson said it’s common for perpetrators to look through a victim’s online contacts and social media friends. They might approach posing as someone with a shared acquaintance and while some groomers target vulnerable, marginalized children, Thompson said, others will pursue outgoing, socially popular kids who might feel they have too much to lose.

Many such cases follow a typical scenario, where seemingly unstoppable money demands begin as soon as the online friend receives the illicit photo. And sometimes perpetrators will post the compromising photos they collect even after being paid.

“Our cyber tips started coming in exponentially during COVID,” Thompson said. “Everybody was at home online.”

Sgt. Bob Scott of the Unified Police Department Special Victims Unit explained that the victim and perpetrator stories described above are examples of the most common sextortion scenarios he sees. In one type, the victim is male, maybe 13 to 18 years old. He chats with someone he meets online but doesn’t know personally. The perpetrator assumes the persona of an attractive girl.

“The conversation goes in a sexual direction. ‘She’ asks him to go to another type of app—Instant Messenger, Instagram, Snapchat or Discord, and he’s given a link,” Scott said. “As soon as the individual gets what they need, the calls become threatening with statements such as, ‘We have your naked photos. We will send them to all of your family and friends and the authorities unless you pay us.’”

Thompson, of ICAC, recalls a sextortion case that progressed virtually overnight with a teenage victim in Silicon Valley who was considered popular, a typical “good kid” with a college scholarship. He complied with a demand to send illicit images, then he took his phone to bed with him at 10 p.m.

After the sextortionist emailed him a threat to release his photos, the victim thought his life was over and hanged himself at 4 a.m.

“His threats would scare an adult, let alone a kid who can’t see past her phone.”

While perpetrators will seek money in this type of sextortion case, often involving young men, in another common scenario, the victims tend to be female and perpetrators are seeking images and leverage in and of itself. Before reaching out, the perpetrator might compile a sort of dossier—where the victim lives, works, her likes and dislikes.

And while this type of case isn’t financially motivated, typically, Scott said it can escalate to greater levels of online abuse and real-world acts of violence like kidnapping and rape.

“The grooming can take months before they ask for nude photos,” Scott said. “Once they receive the first nude photos, they ask for more—possibly videos and all kinds of illicit things.”

Finding Justice

Lundquist says one of her biggest takeaways from investigating Ethan Parker’s case was: “On the Internet, you never know what tiny amount of information will help someone find you— you go to this high school; you went to this funeral.”

Parker found girls’ photos through their accounts on various platforms. In some cases, he convinced his victims to supply him with their online user

—Special Agent Sarah Lundquist

DEREK CARLISLE

names. When he later threatened to post the compromising pictures he collected, some would fight back or say, “Go ahead and do it,” Lundquist said, while others tried to sound tough while being scared to death.

She shared the anecdote of one woman targeted by Parker who was the daughter of a New York Police officer. When Parker threatened to release doctored photos with her likeness if she failed to supply him with legitimate photos, she replied with a photo of a Bible. “Good luck with that on Photoshop,” she said, as recalled by Lundquist.

Lundquist’s investigation into Ethan Parker ultimately led her to an unassuming, middle-class South Jordan home. Rather than seeking a warrant, she decided to do a “knock and talk” and simply approach the home and ask to speak with the suspect.

A woman answered the door and Lundquist asked to speak to her son but was told he wasn’t home. When Lundquist asked when he would return, the woman responded that it would take some time—he was serving a Latterday Saint mission in Mexico.

Was this missionary her suspect? Lundquist was still determining but, continuing to search, she discovered that the innocent-looking former Bingham High School student and current missionary was, indeed, Ethan Parker. Only his real name was Gabe Gilbert.

An attorney for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spoke with Lundquist, telling her Gilbert’s mother had contacted the mission president. After the president interviewed Gilbert, the church quickly sent him home. Lundquist commends the LDS Church for their handling of the situation.

“They didn’t know [about his online activities] until they knew, then they sent him home right away,” she said. While Gilbert’s missionary status may have shocked Utah, Lundquist explains that she has arrested people from all walks of life.

“With any suspect, there is a sense of disappointment, frustration and anger, but no more so than when we find newly identified victims, such as in this case,” she said. “While we need to maintain control of our emotions to do this work, I have sometimes absolutely cried for the victims.”

City Weekly approached two victims’ families to seek their insights: Morgan’s family and that of another of Gilbert’s victims who declined to be interviewed. In responding to City Weekly’s request, the victim’s father expressed pride in his daughter for standing up to Gilbert and refusing his demands.

“I’d tell the reporter that this stuff has lasting effects on the victims whether they send pictures or not,” he said. “I’m glad this guy is in prison. I have no sympathy for him.”

A Texas Snapchat user initially reported Gilbert to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, or NCMEC. Center staff studied the evidence—IP addresses, phone numbers, geolocation—and then submitted the case to Utah’s ICAC, which is overseen by the Utah Attorney General’s Office.

In 3rd District Court, Gilbert was charged with five counts of aggravated sexual extortion of a child, a first-degree felony, and four counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, a second-degree felony. Court records state that in exchange for guilty pleas, prosecutors agreed to recommend a five-year sentence.

Lundquist never heard Gilbert speak, not even in the car on the way to jail. “He pleaded guilty to all nine charges,” Lundquist said. “His attorney arranged for him to surrender himself at our office.”

Staying Alert

While there are similarities and types among sextortion cases, there is also considerable variety. Some cases might involve former romantic partners who have possession of intimate photos during the relationship, while others devolve into forms of human trafficking.

Thompson described one man—who ICAC investigated and police later arrested—who appeared to be a decent, well-to-do local businessman. But it was discovered that he had solicited and paid for illicit material from dozens of children in Utah and other states.

“He didn’t sell or share any of it,” Thompson said. “It was all content for his personal use.”

The person who sextorted Morgan was believed to live on the African Ivory Coast, one of several cases appearing to originate from that area, Nigeria and the Philippines. Do sextortionists work together in call centers there?

“I don’t have firsthand knowledge of [any call centers], but the volume of cases originating from that part of the world suggests some sort of organized criminal effort,” Lundquist said.

In foreign cases, law enforcement often works with Homeland Security. Although the county attorney planned to prosecute Morgan’s perpetrator, and the regional embassy offered support, but with no IP address, investigators couldn’t determine the suspect’s identity or location. Peirce, with the Davis

County Sheriff’s Office, said it was also determined that extradition of a suspect to the United States was unlikely.

This incomplete ending is a typical result following sextortion from overseas. “It’s not like they don’t try,” Thompson said. “The case gets out of our hands here.”

Like the stories of Morgan, Gilbert/ Parker and others, future victims will likely appear to be ordinary kids walking home from school or playing video games. Because that’s who they’ll be— everyday kids spending time online.

How can they avoid becoming sextortion victims? Scott said they need to realize and remember that social media is full of predatory individuals.

“Don’t allow friend requests from people you don’t know,” he said. “Don’t share intimate photos even if you know the other person.”

Scott stressed that victims of sextortion should never send money to a perpetrator. “If you send $100, they will ask for $200,” he said.

And, he noted, victims should know they’re not alone, and it isn’t their fault. “It doesn’t matter what happened. If you have been a victim, please tell someone—a parent, coach, mentor or religious leader who can help guide you.”

Thompson advises parents to know their kids well enough for age-appropriate online safety conversations. He and other law enforcement officials interviewed for this article said they hope to increase awareness of the topic by making presentations statewide and investigating more cases.

“Anyone who wants to exploit a kid— we will go after,” Thompson said. “If they go after a child, they will hurt anybody.” CW

ICAC special agent Sarah Lundquist

Unified Police Sgt. Bob Scott

“While we need to maintain control of our emotions to do this work, I have, sometimes, absolutely cried for the victims.”

— Special agent Sarah Lundquist, Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) Task Force

“It doesn’t matter what happened. If you have been a victim, please tell someone—a parent, coach, mentor or religious leader who can help guide you.”

— Sgt. Bob Scott Unified Police Department Special Victims Unit

Rewind years of

salt lake

CITY WEEKLY

BY WES LONG wlong@cityweekly.net

Dusty pastels were in fashion, local rock bands were jamming at the Zephyr Club (301 S. West Temple), and as evidenced by the unfolding IranContra scandal, the Reagan administration was adding some closing touches to its hefty record of “corruption and double-dipping,” to use a phrase from contributor Ron Yengich. The Salt Lake Trappers baseball team won a remarkable 29-game streak during this period, the Salt Lake Board of Education took the controversial step of closing South High School and John Gundersen placed himself in a bamboo cage outside of the federal building to raise awareness of POWs still missing in southeast Asia. The Private Eye was there to provide coverage of all these things and more.

Remembering Vol. 4: In the streets

“You can’t walk down the street in downtown Salt Lake today without being aware of the reality of homelessness,” wrote John Dorsey and John Saltas for the July 1987 cover story. “For most of us, the first instinct when faced with the problem of homelessness is to simply turn away, thankful for a roof over our heads and a bed to sleep in each night.”

At the time, Salt Lake City was proposing a new shelter in the old Westinghouse Warehouse at 210 S. Rio Grande St. Later to be known as The Road Home, the facility was intended to offer improved living conditions and greater space for both families and singles.

Interviewing unhoused individuals in the downtown area, as well as local merchants and care providers, Dorsey and Saltas found a mixture of anxiety, resignation and hope. One man—who by 1987 had been without a home for over 20 years—remarked that the conditions in the available facilities were such that he preferred to sleep outdoors. “It’s too hot in the Mission, and it’s too loud in the shelter,” he said.

“You think this is bad?” mused the octogenarian manager of the Rio Grande Hotel (428 W. 300 South). “You should have been here in 1933! There were many more men out of work then.”

The owner of a theatrical lighting and design company resented how people like her were being characterized in the media for having concerns about public safety and loitering by the unhoused around her store.

“We deal with these people closely on a daily basis, pulling them out of the streets, making sure they’re alright,” she stressed. “Then these bureaucrats with three-piece suits who have probably never even touched a transient come down here and make us seem uncaring and selfish.”

Stephen Holbrook, an activist and legislator who was then the coordinator for Salt Lake’s Shelter the Homeless Committee, estimated at the time that there were between 1,400 and 2,400 homeless people in Utah. Today, the number of unsheltered Utahns on any given night is believed to be roughly 3,600, according to the most recent data from point-in-time counts.

The Road Home’s downtown shelter was closed in 2019, in keeping with the yearslong and much-ballyhooed Operation Rio Grande project, which cleared out the Rio Grande neighborhood under a dramatically martial mien and diverted the unsheltered to separate resource centers around Salt Lake for men, women and mixed groups.

The centers continue to be filled while informal homeless encampments—out of sight and mind to many under cover of bridges or beside the Jordan River—are routinely swept out by local and state agencies to the tune of hundreds of thousands of public dollars, as The Salt Lake Tribune reported in 2022.

“It is a waste of money,” said homeless advocate Ty Bellamy to the Tribune. “Anytime you ask for them to allocate those funds towards something to help these guys, there’s a million and one excuses. But, they’ll go throw money out there like crazy to get rid of them.”

In the ads

To celebrate its 125th anniversary, Daynes Music offered a piano sale in the pages of the June 1987 issue of Private Eye. Then the exclusive Utah dealer of Steinway pianos, Kurzweil keyboards and Rodgers organs,

Daynes Music’s sale would likely have appealed to the local music lover. Now in its 161st year, Daynes touts the fact that the music company is the oldest continually run family business in the state.

Across a full-page spread in March 1988, the Private Eye alerted readers to the Great Utah Laugh-Off. Sponsored by KTOU Radio, Coca-Cola, Private Eye and Cartoons Comedy Club (2201 S. Highland Drive), the Laugh-Off offered contestants the grand prize of a trip to Hollywood.

“Make our day by making us laugh,” went the invitation. For the sake of the audience and the “celebrity judges,” we hope that levity was enjoyed by all.

Advertising their Easter specials in the April 1988 issue was the restaurant Johanna’s Kitchen, which once stood at 9725 S. State in Sandy. Opened in 1971 by Johanna Nielsen (1934-2013), this family establishment served down-home cooking all the way until 2015, when a gas explosion destroyed the building.

“Something good’s always cookin’ in Johanna’s Kitchen,” sang Rodd Buckle for the restaurant’s radio jingle. “If you ain’t been there yet then you don’t know what you’ve been missin’. Country fresh and made from scratch, y’all better listen!”

For years, truckers, skiers and locals alike heeded the call, whether for breakfast, lunch or dinner—often capping the meal with one of Johanna’s scones.

In the lobby

Having operated as Utah’s foremost place of lodging since its opening in 1911, the Hotel Utah (15 E. South Temple) ceased operations in 1987 to much public dismay. The stated plan of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints to convert the building into office space sank public spirits even further.

The church’s net worth was then estimated to be in the billions, Ron Yengich noted in August 1987, yet it couldn’t see fit to put its office staff in the many “largely empty” office buildings already littering the downtown area. He looked askance at any corporate entity making such an impactful move upon the public weal, whatever its tax exempt status.

“Don’t expect the church to change its mind,” Yengich wrote at the time. “It will not sell or otherwise maintain the Hotel Utah as a hostelry.”

Yengich returned to this theme in May 1988, noting that what had already happened to “that wonderful old dowager of a hotel” was now threatening to reoccur with the historic LDS Church-owned houses at Capitol Hill’s Gordon Place, potentially wiping out up to 18 habitable dwellings “as well as the property tax revenue generated from the houses and their inhabitants.”

The city’s need for low- and mediumincome housing was apparent to Yengich at that time, and the loss of these homes added further shame to the church’s already-suspect track record of architectural preservation.

“Twentieth century Mormon architecture is to architecture as Ragu is to Italian cuisine,” he opined. “It is not enough that the buildings that the Mormon church now constructs are insipid, albeit functional. It is the church’s willingness to tear down wonderful old buildings of historical significance, including entire streets of them, which will remain its real architectural legacy.”

Indeed, his observations emanated from a similar vein as those being made by many Mormons themselves. In a 1983 commencement speech at Brigham Young University—decrying the “fatal shift” that occurs to a culture when imaginative vision is drowned out by the mediocrity and wealth-obsessed conformity of management types—Mormon scholar Hugh Nibley (1910-2005) pointedly spoke out against the trends that were well underway in the Beehive State.

“If the management does not go for Bach, very well, there will be no Bach in the meeting,” Nibley warned. “If the management’s taste in art is what will sell—trite, insipid, folksy kitsch—that is what we will get. … If management must reflect the corporate image in tasteless, trendy new buildings, down come the fine old pioneer monuments.” CW

Street Food Style

Central Ninth’s Bar Nohm realizes its potential.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

One of my early gigs as a local writer was a piece about the commercial space built by Atlas Architects on 900 South and Jefferson Street. It’s been about seven years since the space has been in operation, and it’s remained an anchor point amid all the development that has been happening in the area as of late.

After Meditrina pulled up its stakes and moved out in 2019, the newly christened Bar Nohm moved in; back then, it was just Nohm. Earlier this year, Bar Nohm made some exciting new changes with its layout, and I wanted to pop in and see how things were looking—and tasting, of course.

The new layout has realized the original concept’s potential, as Bar Nohm has fully embraced its izakaya nature. Those familiar with Japanese nightlife will recognize the izakaya concept of small spots that specialize in small plates of food and creative cocktails, which is exactly what Bar Nohm is all about. Neighboring bar Water Witch has also been a big part of this reinvention, and the two establishments are connected by a doorway that allows for back-and-forth socializing.

Bar Nohm has always been a cool spot to hang out, but I’m impressed with how the space has managed to evolve right alongside the neighborhood.

So let’s say it’s your first sojourn to Bar Nohm. The izakaya notion should tip you off that this place is a celebration of Asian-inspired foods and flavors. Chef

David Chon pulls liberally from his own Korean heritage along with his experiences traveling throughout Asia. A big part of Bar Nohm’s reinvention is a gracious attempt to bring a bit of Asian street culture to downtown Salt Lake City.

If you’re meeting friends, the small plates are a great place to start. There’s not really a bad bet when you’re ordering from this side of the menu—if it sounds good, it is good. Obviously, the oysters ($23) are going to be a win, and the traditional condiments of lemon and cocktail sauce have been swapped with some kimchi, goji berry and a bit of wasabi. These combined with the bluefin sashimi ($23) make excellent bites for the early autumn nights still clinging to the summer heat.

I’ve always been a sucker for a dumpling, and the buckwheat dumpling ($15) is a lovely, surprising take on this familiar appetizer. As most dumplings I have known have been the typical quick-fix pan-fried variety, it’s fun to see this little guy get a high-end makeover. The buckwheat is featured in the dumpling wrap, which is a rich, chocolatey brown and imparts a hearty, earthy flavor to the dish. Upon this solid foundation, you’ve got a savory mushroom filling and a topping of bulgogi-style beef. A little sliver of pickled carrot gives all this richness some acidic balance. It’s a fantastic reinvention of a comfort food classic, and I can’t recommend it enough.

Bar Nohm also has a tasty menu of grilled skewers that add a nice, meaty supplement to any meal. They grill up everything from chicken thighs ($5) to chicken hearts ($4) for fans of the poultry. I was a fan of the pork-wrapped enoki ($6), which consist of tiny bundles of adorable enoki mushrooms wrapped in thin strips of pork and fired up on the grill. Fans of bacon-wrapped anything will want to add this to their list pronto.

You’ll notice that the large plates sec-

tion of the menu is called anju, which is a Korean term for food that is meant to be consumed with alcohol. Admittedly, this concept was new to me, but it’s yet another reason to fall in love with Korean food culture, I suppose. Food that is expected to be consumed with alcohol is a niche that Bar Nohm explores wholeheartedly—this is stuff that will stick to your bones and help absorb that liquor so you can keep right on partying.

I went with the kimchi rice ($22), and had zero regrets. It arrives in a sizzling skillet that evokes the visual aesthetic of paella. The rice gets its signature red color from kimchi instead of saffron—clever, clever—and it’s served with thin slices of shrimp and nice, fatty sausage. Thin semicircles of daikon and small ribbons of nori complete the picture, making it almost too lovely to eat. My first sensation was that of the spicy kimchi—this packs a nice punch, and can take you by surprise if you’re not a fan of spicy food.

As this was a dish that should be consumed with alcohol, I opted for the Bar Nohm Boilermaker ($10), which is a draft of Sapporo and a shot of IWAI 45 whiskey.

I’ve never been unhappy with a cold Sapporo, and that IWAI 45 was revelatory—I may have to see if I can snag a bottle locally. I’d also recommend the Bar Nohm Highball ($12) as something cool and refreshing to combat the spicy kimchi.

Bar Nohm has fought pretty hard to make itself into the Central Ninth fixture it is today, and based on the current updates, I’d say the place is thriving. Whether you’ve been a Bar Nohm fan since the beginning or are just now thinking of checking it out, this place is always a good time. CW

TWO LOCATIONS

2 Row Brewing 6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC

avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Midnight Especial- Dark Mexican Lager

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC

BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Mango Goze

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: Playground 4 with 1019 & Madusa

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC craftbyproper.com

On Tap: Purple Rain - Marionberry

Helles

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC

DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap: Munich Lager

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC

EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Hopsters IPA

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: Rotating up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Raspberry Gose

Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Vienna-Style Lager

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST

550 So. 300 West #100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Nitro Coffee Uncommon

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap: Golden Sproket Wit

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Tropical Crush–POG–Passionfruit, Orange & Guava!

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/

On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan

Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: Tranquili-Tea HefeweizenEpic Collaboration

Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC

ProperBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Whispers from Krakatoa

- Helles Lager with Habanero and Mango

Proper Burger: Sour RangerBlackberry and Lemon Sour

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191

Moab, Utah 84532

On Tap: Angus McCloud- Scottish Ale

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction Redrockbrewing.com

1640 Redstone Center

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Lighthouses Rule Hazy IPA

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations

RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Identity Crisis Session

West Coast Hazy Cold IPA – the name says it all!

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: New! HeadhunterDouble IPA

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Oktoberfest Vienna Lager

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Finn River Vista Ridge 9% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek https://secondsummitcider.com

On Tap: Spiced Peach Cider

Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Hellion Huckelberry

Sour Ale

Live Music: Thursdays

Shades On State 366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Hellion Blond Ale, an ode to Ellie, manager at Shades on State Karaoke: Wednesdays

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/squatters

On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co.’s Slippery Otter Nitro Vanilla Porter Squatters and Wasatch Brewery 1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Squatters & Kiitos Collab: Ginger Rye Lime Sour, 5%

Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Three on the Tree’ Hoppy Lager Collaboration with Proximity Malt and Roy Farms Hops.

Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Three on the Tree’ Hoppy Lager Collaboration with Proximity Malt and Roy Farms Hops.

Stratford Proper 1588 Stratford Ave., SLC stratfordproper.com

On Tap: Yacht Rock Juice BoxJuicy IPA

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Mango Raspberry Berliner Weisse

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: King Slayer-Pilsner

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Golden Grant 5% ABV.

Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch Brewery 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/wasatch

On Tap: Salt Lime Cerveza

Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez 205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

BEER NERD

In Pursuit of Fruit

On the trail of the of the sweeter ales

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Red Rock - Bending Branch: This Peach Hefeweizen features 650 lbs. of real peaches, and was made utilizing a classic German Hefeweizen yeast strain. This beer pours a hazy, pale goldenyellow color, with a near-teeming tower of puffy, loosely foamy and bubbly offwhite head, which leaves some random sudsy island group lace around the glass as it quickly blows off. It smells of grainy wheat malt, some peach and nectarine orchard fruitiness, toasty saltine crackers, a touch of hard water flintiness and some weak earthy, leafy and grassy green hop bitterness.

It tastes of light and airy fruit on some flaked wheat that is honey-kissed—tall, golden sweet wheat. That wheat has a bit of under-ripe tartness, and the earthiness is woven into the mouthfeel—soft but a bit malty, with a touch of weight and creamy with effervescent carbonation. Further generic earthy stone fruitiness rounds out the end, with a touch of estery yeast, and some still hard-to-pin-down leafy, weedy and floral hoppiness. The bubbles are fairly innocuous in their plainly-rendered frothiness, the 5.0 percent alcohol body a solid medium weight, and generally smooth. There’s nothing really capable of running interference here, willing to stick its fool neck out, y’know? It finishes well off-dry, with both the malt and stone fruitiness taking on the day with a fervor of sorts.

Verdict: A nice fruit beer. If you enjoy it cold, you’ll miss some of the banana and clove from the yeast, so let it warm slightly for the full flavor profile.

This one is hefty and heady enough to overcome the temperature/flavor fluctuations, and makes for a titillating and refreshing late-summer quaffer when all is said and done.

Shades - Blueberry PB&J: This new peanut butter-and-jam themed beer features Shades signature Kveik yeast for its base beer. This time around, the featured fruit is blueberry, and the color very much reflects it; it has a pleasant purple hue that is not quite opaque. The head retention on beers like this is pretty much non-existent, which is fine, since these are quite aromatic on their own. I get powdered peanut butter, honest-to-goodness bread crusts and sweet/tart blueberry jam—quite authentic in each part, and very true to the sandwich, with only a little weirdness as a sour beer foundation.

The flavor is similar, and the peanut butter is the weak link for me—the proportion is good, but it’s not as real-tasting as it was in some of the previous versions of the PB&J. It’s quite nutty and toasty, but with less peanut butter, which comes off somewhat powdered and sort of dusty to me. The blueberry jam part is crazy good— better than the original, all on the finish, very authentic. It almost seems made with the jam rather than real fruit, and the breadiness of the malt is expert, truly creating a sandwich vibe. Sourness in this 6.5 percent ale is moderate, so while it’s tart, I could do a whole can of this for sure. Bubbly like a soda, medium in body, pretty fast finish, the sliced bread taste outlasts the peanut butter and the jam.

Verdict: A nice beer overall, and it’s nice to see some of Shades’ crazy Kviek beers return. It’s better than your typical novelty-type beer, even though that’s what it might seem like from the description.

Blueberry PB&J is thankfully available in 12-ounce cans; 16 ounces tends to be a bit too much for beers like these. You can find this at Shades’ beer store to-go, or to enjoy at their pub. Bending Branch, however, is exclusive to Harmons Grocery stores, and is available in 16-ounce cans. As always, cheers! CW

MIKE RIEDEL

MIKE RIEDEL

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Sabores Ancestrales Hispanic Culinary Festival

Hispanic Heritage Month kicks off on Sept. 15, and the Food Justice Coalition (foodjusticecoalition.org) and JPMorgan Chase are throwing a Hispanic heritage festival to kick things off. While the festival is focused on celebrating our local Hispanic and Latino communities, the event will also serve as a fundraiser for the Food Justice Coalition. The event will feature live music and plenty of onsite eats that represent the culinary heritage of these communities. The event promises to be a tasty cultural celebration that will support ending hunger throughout our state. The event takes place at the event space inside Publik Coffee (975 S. West Temple) from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Rock ‘N’ Ribs Festival

Fans of barbecue and live rock music will want to check out the Gallivan Center (239 S. Main Street) this weekend for the Rock ‘N’ Ribs festival. This free event will feature barbecue pit masters from all over the state who will be offering sample plates starting at only three bucks a pop. While you’re enjoying all of these porcine delights, you can take in the vibes with live music, or do some shopping at some vendor booths throughout the event. This festival is an all-ages affair that will feature a play area for younger kids while the grownups get their rib on. The event takes place on Sept. 16 from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Bombay Palace Opens

The space that was recently occupied by Celeste in Murray is now home to Bombay Palace (5468 S. 900 East, 801-890-0112, bombaypalace2.net). I checked out their menu, and saw plenty of things to get excited about. For starters, I think our plant-based and vegetarian diners will dig this place for its expanded list of meatless entrees and drinks like the mango soy shake, which sounds like a non-dairy lassi. I was also intrigued by their soya dishes, which are made from little chunks of soy flour that get marinated and tossed with all kinds of flavorful herbs and spices. Always nice to have a new Indian place in the neighborhood, and I’m looking forward to checking this one out.

Quote of the Week: “Barbecue may not be the road to world peace, but it’s a start.”

–Anthony Bourdain

Dread Again

A Haunting in Venice finds Kenneth Branagh refusing to rediscover a sense of fun.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

In 1991, Kenneth Branagh—fresh off the multi-Oscar-nominated success of his debut feature Henry V, which had people talking about him as the new Olivier—did exactly the opposite of what you’d expect from a filmmaker if he were trying to establish a “brand” as a serious and respectable Shakespearean dramatist. He made Dead Again, a lurid detective yarn-cumghost story full of daytime-drama plot staples like amnesia and crazy plot twists.

It was delightfully glossy genre fare, certainly indicative of Branagh’s careerlong propensity for imprinting his movies with stylish flourishes, but never stuffy. This guy might be the second coming of Sir Larry, but he was also willing to have fun.

I couldn’t help but work up a little excitement over the prospects of A Haunting in Venice, despite Branagh’s two previous Hercule Poirot outings—2017’s Murder on the Orient Express and last year’s Death on the Nile—being disappointments. After all, he was back in the realm of Dead Again’s supernatural elements—another lurid detective yarn-cum-ghost story—while trapping a bunch of characters in a dark villa in the middle of a raging storm. In such a setting, how earnest could Branagh possibly be?

As it turns out, considerably more earnest than was even remotely necessary. He takes a full decade leap from the previous movie to 1947 post-World War II Venice, where Poirot is living in retirement, brusquely refusing to see any of the

petitioners for his services as a detective.

The sole exception: His old acquaintance, popular mystery writer Ariadne Oliver (Tina Fey), invites Poirot to a Halloween night séance at the home of operatic soprano Rowena Drake (Kelly Reilly), whose daughter committed suicide a year earlier.

Ariadne wants assistance in debunking self-proclaimed medium Joyce Reynolds (Michelle Yeoh) as a fraud, but the villa has a long history of strange occurrences—which will continue with the death of one of the evening’s attendees. Branagh and writer Michael Green lay out the suspects—the dead daughter’s ex-fiancé (Kyle Allen); a superstitious housekeeper (Camille Cottin); the girl’s emotionally fragile doctor (Jamie Dornan); etc.—while setting up the creepy legacy of the house as a de facto prison for plague-ridden children who are now restless spirits.

The director applies to this scenario his singular gifts for never finding a potentially simple shot that he was not prepared to make at least somewhat off-kilter; every camera set-up takes us off-plumb, positioning the viewer’s eye at least sev-

eral inches below the characters’ chins or several inches above their eyebrows. You know you’re in for the “Full Branagh” when it is less than two minutes into the movie, and he has already, somehow, managed to apply an ominous Dutch angle to a flock of pigeons.

That all might have made for a wonderfully dark tale of suspense and strange apparitions, were Branagh and Green not determined to turn the Poirot mysteries into unnecessarily complicated pieces of psychodrama. It begins with Poirot himself, still played by Branagh as haunted by a past we learned about in previous films, as well as the cases he has investigated.

But Green’s script is determined to insert traumatic back-stories built around the story’s post-war setting wherever possible. Dornan’s doctor, we learn, has been devastated by post-traumatic stress after being one of the soldiers to liberate the concentration camp at Bergen-Belsen; the psychic’s two assistants (Emma Laird and Ali Khan) are Romani half-siblings who spent years in hiding, and now long for a new life in America. Every time A Haunting

in Venice has an opportunity to commit to the narrative’s more conventionally satisfying elements, it stops to clear its throat and remind us, “You know, there’s some very serious stuff going on here.”

The big reveal, fortunately, gets back down to basics in its resolution, allowing crashing waves and Branagh’s doomladen shot setups to do a lot of the necessary heavy lifting. It’s just a huge bummer that nobody involved seemed to grasp that a shadowy whodunnit might be better served without needing to apply a patina of respectability. The Kenneth Branagh of 30 years ago seemed to understand much better that you can take ghosts, mystery and murder, and let us be entertained by their unpretentious appeal. CW

A HAUNTING IN VENICE

BB

Kenneth Branagh

Tina Fey

Kelly Reilly Rated PG-13 Available Sept. 15 in theaters

Kenneth Branagh in A Haunting in Venice 20TH CENTURY STUDIOS

DI-Why Not?

Audio House recording studios aim to be accessible to all.

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

Audio House was created with one central theme in mind: accessibility. The studio locations—currently in West Valley City (2250 S. 1300 West) and Provo (636 Independence Ave.)—offer a place where musicians can express themselves in ways they couldn’t before, in an easily-accessible space. Co-founder Tyler Gibbs took the struggles of his youth and funneled them into his music—and, eventually, the recording studios that are open today.

“I think more than ever, we have a generation of people that feel misunderstood and are seeking outlets,” Gibbs said. “I understand that obviously Audio House doesn’t address every need for everybody, but I hope that Audio House can provide a place where more local musicians that aren’t influenced by record labels and are influenced only by their own heart and mind.”

For many of us, high school was marked by trying times, and it was no different for Gibbs. “I didn’t have any coping mechanisms. I had just switched schools. I didn’t have any friends, and was struggling with just a lot of identity issues,” he said. Things completely changed when someone asked to share music with him. While they were sitting next to one other, Gibbs put one earbud in—and everything changed. Up until that point, he hadn’t listened to much music growing up, but a switch was flipped.

“Ten minutes into it, I was like, ‘This is how I feel.’ My life feels chaotic like this.’ I finally felt for once in my life, I understand how I feel,” Gibbs said. “I’ve never been

able to put into words or language what I’m feeling, and yet this song is exactly what I’m feeling. And the fact that this person sitting next to me is listening to this, he must feel what I’m going through. And that’s part of why that was the beginning of a lifetime friendship I still have with this person.”

It didn’t fix all of his problems at that moment, but it set off the chain of events that led to the creation of Audio House. The studios run on a self-service model— not something typically seen with recording studios, but this goes hand-in-hand with the idea of being easily accessible to all. You don’t have to be a professional producer or mixer to record at one of these studios; you just need the drive to want to be heard, and a little tech know-how. You also don’t have to break the bank, because at $10 an hour, you could have a finished product for $100 or less.

“We started to head down the path of building self-recording studios [for] people who were in that boat of, ‘I don’t need the best of the best. I just need to finally feel heard. I just need to finally feel understood. I just need my music that I’ve written, that I’ve composed well to be captured in a way that finally encompasses the emotions I want it to capture,’” Gibbs explained.

The thought of walking into a self-serve recording studio may sound intimidating to many—something Gibbs himself completely understands. However, Audio House has fine-tuned everything for users to be as simple as possible. Anyone can walk in, work on equipment that’s already been set up and utilize pre-built project templates to help create their musical works of art.

“We did a long pilot, a two-year-long pilot of asking artists to use our technology. Of course, it sucked in the beginning, and we had to fine tune it,” Gibbs said. Building Audio House came with many roadblocks, but he never had doubts there wouldn’t be a need for this type of place.

“Enough people end up trying to record themselves anyway,” he explained.

“The good thing for us was that the industry was working against us, in the sense that this was such a big problem in the world that people ended up trying to do the harder thing, which is record themselves in their bedrooms, having to buy all their own equipment with nothing to start with, and only having YouTube videos. Enough people were trying that anyway that I was like, ‘Well, people are either going to try us first, or they’re going to try us after they realize how hard that is,’” he added.

There’s no slowing down for Gibbs and the Audio House studios. The hope is to continue to expand to more locations, helping musicians achieve their dreams in as many places as possible—including outside of Utah.

“More accessible, meaning more studios closer to you, easier to use and better quality and more comfortable and better looking. We’re hoping to make all those things happen within the next few years, all to the goal that we can be more accessible, and more people can feel heard and create music at a quality that they’re confident in sharing,” he said.

Gibbs encourages anyone who wants to record to give Audio House a try. He understands the intimidation factor is there, but it’s worth taking the leap.

“It’s a place for people to start to find themselves, to start to feel heard, to feel understood. And as long as that’s what Audio House is, I think it’s fulfilling its purpose,” he said.

For more info head to audiohouse.fm, and follow Audio House on Instagram @ audiohouse.fm. CW

9ineten Cozyboii Recording at Audio House COURTESY PHOTO

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS DJ FRESH(NESS)

SATURDAYS POKER @ 2PM DJ DELMAGGIO

SHARK SUNDAYS POOL TOURNEY HOSTED BY JARED AND TANNER

MONDAYS REGGAE MONDAY WITH DJ NAPO

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS KARAOKE

By Emilee Atkinson

Welcome Home Sundance @ Velour 9/14

Listening to Welcome Home Sundance is like being welcomed home. Pressing play on any of their tracks is like being wrapped up in a warm blanket and snuggling up in your favorite place to sit. The quartet started putting out music in 2020, and while it wasn’t the best time for the world, at least we were introduced to some great new tunes. The group has kept busy since then, releasing several singles, an EP and a full album; their most recent release includes remixes of some of their songs from the last few years. Instead of detailing all of their releases, I want to focus on their 2022 EP I Don’t Wanna, a four-song collection characterized by those blanket-wrapping feelings mentioned earlier. It starts out with “Trust,” a slow and comforting track that has a soft beat and gentle vocals. It sets the tone nicely for the rest of the collection, especially when you get to the title track. There are so many things in life to which we all probably say “I don’t wanna,” and this song perfectly encapsulates that mood. Welcome Home Sundance combines a delightful mix of electronic elements with soft indie-rock sounds—you still get some delicate electric guitar and drums, but you also get dreamy electronic sound effects throughout. If you’re so inclined to start listening to Welcome Home Sundance, I Don’t Wanna is a good place to start. Catch the group on Thursday, Sept 14 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $10, and can be found at 24tix.com. (Emilee

Atkinson)

Jai Wolf @ Union Event Center 9/16

My brain was created to like Sajeeb Saha’s music. He’s one of those artists whose approach is almost curatorial, and defies expectations time and time again. The Bangladeshi-American, New York-based electronic music producer known as Jai Wolf is bringing his new show, Blue Babu Live, to the Beehive State. Wolf has been on a tear as of late, and his impressive Coachella set earlier this year signals that the best is yet to come. “I have been trying to challenge myself and push myself into different directions that I haven’t tried before,” he told EDM Identity in 2022. “I don’t want to make an album that feels like The Cure To Loneliness again. That’s not what I want the next area to be defined by.” As a kid, Wolf was not allowed to listen to any other type of music except traditional Bengali music, in order to preserve and teach his cultural roots. That’s always been one of the fascinating aspects of his music, at least for me. The sampling, mixing and composing doesn’t hold itself to one genre, but picks and chooses the best of sounds, rhythms and phrases, blending them into something else. The detail and care for every last aspect enhances the experience. Kasbo and Myrne open. Catch these acts at the Union Event Center on Saturday, Sept 16. Doors at 5:30 p.m., show at 6:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show range from $29.50 general admission to VIP packages from $114.50, and can be found at ticketmaster.com (Mark Dago)

Welcome Home Sundance

Daniel Caesar @ The Complex 9/17

Daniel Caesar is one of the few artists who can wear his influences on his sleeves without beating you over the head with them. The 28-year-old Canadian singer/songwriter born Ashton Dumar Norwill Simmonds—professionally known as Daniel Caesar—has been compared to contemporaries like Frank Ocean and Miguel. However, he’s created his own lovely little atmospheric world while making a name for himself in the R&B Genre. His third album, Never Enough, was released on Republic earlier this year, and for every familiar path on his latest long-play, there are many unexpected moves. “I go into an album thinking I know what I’m gonna sing about or write about, and then three-quarters of the way through the album, it always changes. Every time I pick a title starting an album, I know it’s gonna change, but I pick it so that I have a bearing,” Caesar told Grammy.com. “I can’t stick to a program, so I know it’s gonna tell me what it is. With songs, too, I learn about myself by writing.” For the uninitiated, go ahead and download “Best Part” (featuring H.E.R.) and listen to it one evening with the lights low and your favorite beverage of choice. Caesar is reaching past the Old Veaux R&B aesthetic of most current musical acts, or at least challenging it. Orion Sun opens. Catch these artists on the Superpowers World Tour when it’s at the Complex on Sunday, Sept 17. Doors at 6 p.m, show at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $69.50 general admission at thecomplexslc.com (MD)

Foy Vance @ The State Room 9/18

Much-heralded Northern Irish singer/songwriter Foy Vance isn’t especially well-known on this side of the Atlantic, but his warm, engaging melodies and folk-like finesse all but assure a certain populist appeal. Those who are unfamiliar get a second chance at discovering him courtesy of a domestic re-release of his 2013 breakthrough album Joy Of Nothing, a sophomore set that garnered him a critical and commercial breakthrough along with the very first Northern Ireland Music Prize. Vance also became Ed Sheeran’s second signing to his Gingerbread Man Records label, and his subsequent two studio albums—The Wild Swan (2016) and Signs Of Life (2021)— furthered his

MUSIC PICK S

By Emilee Atkinson

fame. As his reputation grew, he became an indemand songwriter, responsible for four of the tracks on Sheeran’s 2017 album Divide as well as collaborations with Alicia Keys, Keith Urban, Kacey Musgraves and Miranda Lambert. Yet despite the fact that he’s well-versed in a variety of genres, it’s his intimate songs and sweetly-shared melodies that find his music as illuminating as it is engaging. In a press release announcing the archival album’s reissue, Vance told antiMusic, “It’s hard to articulate how much it means to have created something that you can inhabit just as well as I can. Regarding The Joy of Nothing… well it still exists and there is joy in it yet…” Clearly then, there’s something to Nothing after all. Foy Vance performs at the State Room at 8 p.m. on Monday, Sept 18. Tickets cost $37 general admission at tix. axs.com.

(Lee Zimmerman)

The Lingo, Chegoya @ Urban Lounge 9/20

Even though the seasons are changing, you’re still able to get a good dose of sunshine and psychedelia from SLC through The Lingo. Transport yourself back in time to a groovy 1960s vibe with the band’s introductory track “Melted Coyote.” You get all you could want from the psychedelia sound with The Lingo: reverb galore, dreamy background vocals and a sound that will make you want to drift away in a sea of color. “Melted Coyote” also comes with a music video that adds to that nostalgic feel, blending a desert aesthetic with the psych vibes. It’s got plenty of cacti, rock arch formations and even takes you to the beach to watch surfers catch some waves. This single is brand new, having dropped on Sept 1, so hopefully we get to hear more tasty retro sounds from The Lingo soon. Joining The Lingo is jazz fusion group Chegoya, a group who offer a different sound from the aforementioned act, but it’ll be a fun and interesting contrast in just one show. Chegoya comes with a big and smooth sound, featuring slick bass, punchy keys and bigsounding brass instruments. If you’re looking for a fun time and a great variety in music, this is the show for you. Come catch these locals on Wednesday, Sept 20 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are free, but be sure to head to 24tix.com to “buy” a ticket to reserve a spot for entry. (EA)

BABYSWEET Foy Vance

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Aries photographer Wynn Bullock had a simple, effective way of dealing with his problems and suffering. He said, “Whenever I have found myself stuck in the ways I relate to things, I return to nature. It is my principal teacher, and I try to open my whole being to what it has to say.” I highly recommend you experiment with his approach in the coming weeks. You are primed to develop a more intimate bond with the flora and fauna in your locale. Mysterious shifts now unfolding in your deep psyche are making it likely you can discover new sources of soulful nourishment in natural places—even those you’re familiar with. Now is the best time ever to hug trees, spy omens in the clouds, converse with ravens, dance in the mud and make love in the grass.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Creativity expert Roger von Oech says businesspeople tend to be less successful as they mature because they become fixated on solving problems rather than recognizing opportunities. Of course, it’s possible to do both—untangle problems and be alert for opportunities—and I’d love you to do that in the coming weeks. Whether or not you’re a businessperson, don’t let your skill at decoding riddles distract you from tuning into the new possibilities that will come floating into view.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Gemini author Fernando Pessoa wrote under 75 aliases. He was an essayist, literary critic, translator, publisher, philosopher and one of the great poets of the Portuguese language. A consummate chameleon, he constantly contradicted himself and changed his mind. Whenever I read him, I’m highly entertained but sometimes unsure of what the hell he means. He wrote, “I am no one. I don’t know how to feel, how to think, how to love. I am a character in an unwritten novel.” And yet Pessoa expressed himself with great verve and had a wide array of interests. I propose you look to him as an inspirational role model in the coming weeks, Gemini. Be as intriguingly paradoxical as you dare. Have fun being unfathomable. Celebrate your kaleidoscopic nature.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” Cancerian author Henry David Thoreau said that. I don’t necessarily agree. Many of us might prefer love to truth. Plus, there’s the inconvenient fact that if we don’t have enough money to meet our basic needs, it’s hard to make truth a priority. The good news is that I don’t believe you will have to make a tough choice between love and truth anytime soon. You can have them both! There may also be more money available than usual. And if so, you won’t have to forgo love and truth to get it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Before she got married, Leo musician Tori Amos told the men she dated, “You have to accept that I like ice cream. I know it shows up on my hips, but if you can’t accept that, then leave. Go away. It is non-negotiable.” I endorse her approach for you in the coming weeks. It’s always crucial to avoid apologizing for who you really are, but it’s especially critical in the coming weeks. And the good news is that you now have the power to become even more resolute in this commitment. You can dramatically bolster your capacity to love and celebrate your authentic self exactly as you are.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The Virgo writer Caskie Stinnett lived on Hamloaf, a small island off the coast of Maine. He exulted in the fact that it looked “the same as it did a thousand years ago.” Many of the stories he published in newspapers featured this cherished home ground. But he also wandered all over the world and wrote about those experiences. “I travel a lot,” he said. “I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” You Virgos will make me happy in the coming weeks if you cultivate a similar duality: deepening and refining your love for your home and locale, even as you refuse to let your life be disrupted by routine.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

My hitchhiking adventures are finished. They were fun while I was young, but I don’t foresee myself ever again trying to snag a free ride from a stranger in a passing car. Here’s a key lesson I learned from hitchhiking: Position myself in a place that’s near a good spot for a car to stop. Make it easy for a potential benefactor to offer me a ride. Let’s apply this principle to your life, Libra. I advise you to eliminate any obstacles that could interfere with you getting what you want. Make it easy for potential benefactors to be generous and kind. Help them see precisely what it is you need.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In your history of togetherness, how lucky and skillful have you been in synergizing love and friendship? Have the people you adored also been good buddies? Have you enjoyed excellent sex with people you like and respect? According to my analysis of the astrological omens, these will be crucial themes in the coming months. I hope you will rise to new heights and penetrate to new depths of affectionate lust, spicy companionship and playful sensuality. The coming weeks will be a good time to get this extravaganza underway.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Is it ever morally permissible to be greedily needy? Are there ever times when we deserve total freedom to feel and express our voracious longings? I say yes. I believe we should all enjoy periodic phases of indulgence—chapters of our lives when we have the right, even the sacred duty, to tune into the full range of our quest for fulfillment. In my astrological estimation, Sagittarius, you are beginning such a time now. Please enjoy it to the max! Here’s a tip: For best results, never impose your primal urges on anyone; never manipulate allies into giving you what you yearn for. Instead, let your longings be beautiful, radiant, magnetic beacons that attract potential collaborators.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Here’s a Malagasy proverb: “Our love is like the misty rain that falls softly but floods the river.” Do you want that kind of love, Capricorn? Or do you imagine a more boisterous version would be more interesting—like a tempestuous downpour that turns the river into a torrential surge? Personally, I encourage you to opt for the misty rain model. In the long run, you will be glad for its gentle, manageable overflow.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

According to the Bible’s book of Matthew, Jesus thought it was difficult for wealthy people to get into heaven. If they wanted to improve their chances, he said they should sell their possessions and give to the poor. So Jesus might not agree with my current oracle for you. I’m here to tell you that every now and then, cultivating spiritual riches dovetails well with pursuing material riches. And now is such a time for you, Aquarius. Can you generate money by seeking enlightenment or doing God’s work? Might your increased wealth enable you to better serve people in need? Should you plan a pilgrimage to a sacred sanctuary that will inspire you to raise your income? Consider all the above, and dream up other possibilities, too.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Piscean author Art Kleiner teaches the art of writing to non-writers. He says this: 1. Tell your listeners the image you want them to see first; 2. Give them one paragraph that encapsulates your most important points; 3. Ask yourself, “What tune do you want your audience to be humming when they leave?”

4. Provide a paragraph that sums up all the audience needs to know but is not interesting enough to put at the beginning. I am offering you Kleiner’s ideas, Pisces,in order to feed your power to tell interesting stories. Now is an excellent time for you to take inventory of how you communicate and make any enhancements that will boost your impact and influence. Why not aspire to be as entertaining as possible?

Data Engineer (DE-MBK) in Salt Lake City, UT (Telecommuting permitted from anywhere in U.S.) Resp for dvlping & deploying enterprise grade platforms that enable data driven solutions. MS+2 yrs rltd exp or BS followed by 5 yrs prog rltd exp. Send resumes to Zions Bancorporation at ZionsCareers@zionsbancorp. com. Must reference job title & code in subject line.

tile

24.Sign meant to prevent what’s seen by the ends of 61- and 63-Across and starts of 62- and 64-Across

28.Cut, as a cake

29.First words in Genesis

32.Afgh. neighbor

33.They usually involve a lot of extras

37.Dept. of Labor division

38.Adrift, say 40.Suffix with switch

41.Bill ____, the Science Guy 42.Quiz response: Abbr.

43.Mil. rank

45.Okla. campus with a Prayer Tower 46.Dis

48.Banjo sounds

50.Gets no answers wrong on a test

51.Actor Davis who eulogized Malcolm X 52.2013 Spike Jonze love story 53.Suffix meaning “approximately” 54.Ferris’ girlfriend in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” 57.Name on many a hospital 61.“Goody, goody gumdrops!” 62.Like most canned tomatoes

Last week’s answers

Mud Man 2023

Ihad to laugh—being a veteran

“Burner” for almost two decades— at the social media and news posts about Burning Man this past Labor Day weekend, such as: Utah Sen. Mike Lee declaring the flood on the playa as “God’s judgment” on us for “for engaging in lewd and sexually charged events at the festival”; hearing that all of us had Ebola; reading the National Guard had been called out to control the 72,000 of us stuck in the mud those days.

We got one inch of rain. And for an area that gets a total of six inches per year … that was a lot in a short period of time.

The desert itself always has extreme weather and temps, as evidenced by 2002’s “Burn With Heat” when we had 103 degrees in the afternoons along with high winds that caused white-out conditions and made the playa impassable. Most of us come equipped with extra tarps, water, food, spare tires, trailers, RVs and the like.

Newbies (we used to call them “virgins” before Burning Man got woke) often don’t come prepared and bring tents without enough preparation for rain.

System Manager (American Fork, UT) Responsible for managing & maintaining the computer systems & networks of an organization. Responsible for ensuring that the organization’s technology infrastructure is running smoothly & effectively, and that it meets the needs of the organization’s employees & customers. 40hrs/wk, Offered wage: $51,480/year, Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science / Information Systems or related required. Resume to Nutricost Fulfillment, LLC Attn. KIM, Saemi, 351 E 1750 N, Vineyard,

1.Comparable to a fiddle

2.“The Cider House Rules” Oscar winner 3.2006 Winter Olympics host 4.“O.G.

SUDOKU X

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

When it rains out there—and it does—Burners are told to stay in place and to find shelter as fast as possible. The playa, which is on BLM and Paiute lands, is like the Bonneville Salt Flats in that it’s a really flat, hard, packed surface—most of the time. As the salt flats have salt as the base, the playa has alkaline dirt that acts like clay when wet.

Burning Man only provides port-apotties to its citizens. And for those who didn’t have a trailer or RV, you had to wear plastic bags on your feet and slide to the johns—or wear socks because the mud doesn’t stick as much for some reason. But the sticky clay-like mud will accumulate between 4- and 6-inches thick on shoe soles, bike tires and car tires. And you can’t move!

It took a few days for the desert to dry out, but we discovered the playa wasn’t completely flat, as certain areas continued to be flooded lake-front property, even through the exodus.

You likely saw on social media the 10-lanes of vehicles leaving the playa, which for them took 6 to 12 hours to get from dirt to tarmac. We left at 4:30 a.m., and there was no wait line, because we know not to leave during the Burning Man rush hours.

Lots of other folks wanted to escape early, and there was evidence of cars stuck in the mud from too-early of a retreat home.

And, of course, you saw Diplo and Chris Rock, who had hiked 5 or 6 miles out to flag down a fan to get them home? They most likely flew into the playa, and with the mud, no planes were leaving our unique airport that was built from scratch and taken down just after the event.

Bright Idea

When officials in New Delhi, India, were preparing for the recent G20 summit, no detail was left unaddressed, Reuters reported. For example: Rhesus monkeys are a menace on many of the city’s streets, often attacking pedestrians. The monkeys cannot be harmed or removed by law, so the government has installed lifesize cutouts of langurs—bignger primates with black faces—around the city to scare the monkeys away. The New Delhi Municipal Council has also employed “30 to 40” people who mock the langurs’ sounds so that the monkeys will believe they are real. “We ... are already seeing a positive impact,” said Satish Upadhyay, the vice-chairman of the NDMC.

Build the Wall!

No, not that wall. In Norway’s Arctic north region, workers are rebuilding a reindeer fence along the country’s border with Russia because the animals keep wandering over the line to find better pastures for grazing.

The barrier is 93 miles long; only about 4 miles require repair, the Associated Press reported. But the work is challenging because workers cannot step into Russian territory lest they be charged with illegal entry. Russia has charged Norway huge fines for the days the reindeer grazed in a natural reserve. The work is expected to be completed by Oct. 1.

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Barbara Haverly, 62, of Mount Dora, Florida, was running a routine errand this summer when things suddenly got out of hand, The Washington Post reported on Aug. 23. Haverly had stopped at the city library to return a book, but the line was rather long, so she dropped it into a drop box as she’d done many times before. But as she pulled out her hand, she felt a sharp pain in her left middle finger. The top of the finger, starting just below her fingernail, had been torn off. “I was in shock,” she said. Library staff called 911, and one employee got into the book box to retrieve the top of her finger. Doctors performed surgery but were unable to reattach the fingertip. Haverly is still dealing with the aftermath of the incident; she said she is depressed and can no longer do yoga or play the ukulele. Meanwhile, the library has placed a sign over the box that reads, “Please do not place your hand inside this book drop.”

Irony

Two employees of television outlet Univision Chicago who were filming a piece about armed robberies in the Windy City were robbed at gunpoint around 5 a.m. on Aug. 28, The Washington Post reported. The reporter and photographer were in the Wicker Park neighborhood when an SUV and a sedan pulled up, and three suspects “wearing ski masks and displaying firearms” jumped out. They took the photography equipment and personal items, returned to their cars and fled. The suspects are still at large; no injuries were reported.

Unmanaged Expectations

Officials at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point hyped an event scheduled for Aug. 28, tweeting the night before and livestreaming the festivities a la Geraldo Rivera: the opening of a time capsule from the late 1820s. The Washington Post reported that the box was installed at the base of a monument to a Polish military engineer who aided the U.S. during the Revolutionary War. But when archaeologist Paul Hudson lifted the time capsule’s lid, his high hopes flew away like dust in the wind. “The box didn’t quite meet expectations,” he said. Hudson found ... silt. However, upon further examination, Hudson uncovered a small and puzzling treasure: six silver American coins dated between 1795 and 1828 and one Erie Canal commemorative medal. “When I first found these, I thought ... it would have been great to have found these on stage,” he said. Hudson said he would analyze the remaining sediment to find out whether other items inside had been destroyed by moisture.

It’s Come to This

New Yorkers have become accustomed (some grudgingly) to the ubiquitous odor of cannabis on city streets and in parks, the Associated Press reported. In fact, as spectator Diane Patrizio of Southampton, New York, recently stood in line at Court 17 at the U.S. Open, she remarked, “It’s everywhere. But what are you going to do?” Court 17, which is situated on the periphery of the Flushing Meadows complex, lies right next to Corona Park, and on Aug. 29, the court “definitely (smelled) like Snoop Dogg’s living room,” said player Alexander Zverev. “The whole court smells like weed.” In fact, eighthseeded Maria Sakkari complained to the chair umpire. However, the USTA found no evidence that anyone inside the facility was smoking, and Sakkari said the odor didn’t affect her loss to Rebeka Masarova. “I mean, it’s something we cannot control because we’re in an open space,” Sakkari said.

News You Can Use

Back off that accelerator if you’re driving through Coffee City, Texas, about three hours north of Houston. Why?

The town, with about 250 residents, has 50 full- and part-time police officers, KHOU-TV reported on Aug. 30. The town’s budget reveals that it collected more than $1 million in court fines in 2022, which were the result of more than 5,100 citations the officers wrote. And there’s a tantalizing twist: Most of Coffee City’s officers had been suspended, demoted, terminated or discharged from previous law enforcement jobs, for reasons including excessive force, public drunkenness and association with known criminals. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my professional career, and I’ve seen a lot,” said Greg Fremin, a retired Houston Police Department captain. But Coffee City’s police chief, JohnJay Portillo, disagrees: “There’s more to just what’s on paper,” he said. “I try to look at the good in everybody, and I believe everybody deserves an opportunity.” Even so, the Texas Commission on Law Enforcement has an open investigation into the tiny community’s big law presence.

The Passing Parade

Lee Meyer of Neligh, Nebraska, altered his Ford sedan a few years back, cutting out half the roof and the passenger-side door and adding a farm gate, so that he could drive his Watusi bull in the Kolach Days Parade in Verdigre. (A Watusi bull, for you non-Nebraskans, has large, long horns, similar to a Texas Longhorn.) The bull, Howdy Doody, hitched another ride with Meyer on Aug. 30 on U.S. 275, but the Norfolk police weren’t having it, People reported: “The officer performed a traffic stop and addressed some traffic violations that were occurring with that particular situation,” Capt. Chad Reiman said. “I don’t know why he was doing it that day. I can honestly say that I haven’t seen anything like that before.” Meyer was asked to leave the city and return home with Howdy Doody.

Don’t Mind Them

n In Fairfax County, Virginia, on Aug. 22, a man entered a 7-Eleven store and displayed a knife, which was the least interesting part of the robbery, Fox5DC-TV reported. The man, who was described as Hispanic, was wearing a black cowboy hat upon which perched two parrots. Another parrot was riding on the man’s shoulder. The suspect escaped in a blue SUV with an undisclosed amount of money, police said.

n And in northern England, an unnamed driver was issued a traffic offense report by police after he was observed motoring along the M62 with an African gray parrot on his shoulder, The Guardian reported on Aug. 30. “Animals should be in suitable carriers/restraints so that they don’t interfere with your ability to drive safely,” police posted on X.

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