City Weekly July 6, 2023

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Bread and Circuses

America is currently undertaking massive construction projects to house our advancing material culture. That new culture of luxury and dependence upon benevolent autocratic power is designed to replace our once outstanding political and spiritual culture, just as it did in ancient, democratic Rome.

The Roman Colosseum was built by the Flavian dynasty of Roman kings as “a gift to the Roman people,” in exchange for their giving up 700 years of democratic power. American politicians are building similar grand monuments to make

America feel better about abandoning rule of law and our history of citizen participation in governing processes.

Multi-billion dollar projects are under way in infrastructure, professional sports, corporate offices, hotels and gambling, bullet train transportation, nuclear energy, chip manufacturing, performing arts and, of course, America’s own Great Wall of China at the U.S./Mexico border.

And what, pray tell, is being done to rebuild democracy and effectively promote the personal empowerment we regularly tell ourselves we love and want today?

Nothing of real substance other than flattering words and embarrassing hyperbole.

Where are the adult continuing education programs teaching about the history of democracy in this country and about the ongoing pattern of usurpation of citizen rights and responsibilities by ambitious politicians of both political parties? Nowhere. Where are the strong and vibrant social studies programs in public and private schools? Nowhere.

KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY Woods Cross

Book Police

When I was in the first grade many, many years ago, I—along with my peers—learned to read with the help of the Dick and Jane series. I suppose, had this reading program continued until now, there would be some self-appointed censors clutching their pearls and demanding that these books be removed because of the word “Dick.”

TED OTTINGER

Taylorsville

“Rockets’ Red Glare,” June 27 online Editor’s note: Readers react to the announcement that drone shows would replace Salt Lake City’s traditional July fireworks.

My only hope is that there’s no advertising in the drone shows.

WLDCORDEIRO

Via Instagram

This is great! Fireworks are so terrifying and disorienting for wildlife and our pets.

UTAHANIMALRIGHTS

Via Instagram

The drones are gonna be taking everyone’s facial recognition photos too while they’re at it.

BONESOFBABY.DOLLS

Via Instagram

So lame.

AUSTONCALL

Via Instagram

Good. It’s been 25 years since I’ve needed to see another typical firework show.

JAXMANJAX

Via Instagram

This is fantastic! Thank you.

BRIANNA.LEATHAM

Via Instagram

I love this!

VERBALLYUNRESTRAINED

Via Instagram

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

How do you contribute to a better society?

Wes Long

I try to serve others with deeds as well as with words. I seek to forgive and to look for the good within them.

Kelly Boyce

I personally post a lot of pics of my butt and my use of cannabis and psychedelic medicine on my social media. I want to help encourage people to be more confident with their bodies and make plant medicine more socially acceptable in the right settings.

Scott Renshaw

I guess I hammer at the idea that people need to think logically and critically. The people I hammer at might not think that makes things better, but that’s why they need the hammering.

Benjamin Wood

I drive as little as possible while shopping as locally as possible.

Katharine Biele

I belong to an organization that’s been defending democracy and empowering voters for 103 years. The League of Women Voters gives me hope and helps me realize that nothing happens unless you aim at the goal—no matter how long it takes.

Eric Granato

I’m raising a compassionate child.

OPINION

BY KEITH BURNS

2nd Wives’ Club

Irecently watched the Netflix series Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey, a chillingly informative documentary covering the rise and fall of Fundamentalist Latter-day Saint (FLDS) prophet Warren Jeffs. The docuseries presented everything from the conservative—yet benign—day-to-day lifestyles of many FLDS families to the gruesome acts of sexual abuse that Jeffs enacted on his dozens of wives, including teenagers as young as 12 years old.

The central feature that distinguishes the FLDS Church from the mainstream Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) is their differing views on modern polygamy. But a core aspect of the LDS Church’s foundation in the 19th century was a theological and pragmatic justification for polygamy, a practice that Joseph Smith ushered in via official revelation.

Smith argued that polygamy was necessary to increase reproduction on earth and was a divine requirement of the Celestial Kingdom, the highest degree of heaven in LDS theology. He too claimed dozens of wives, including teenage girls as young as 14 years old.

Marred by scandal, dishonesty and deception, plural marriage continued as an official church doctrine and practice until 1890, when then-LDS Church President Wilford Woodruff issued a manifesto prohibiting its future practice.

As a result, the mainstream LDS Church incrementally abandoned polygamy in the face of increasing political and legal pressure from the U.S. federal government. Currently, LDS leaders boldly condemn polygamist fundamentalist

groups like the FLDS, distance themselves from checkered 19th-century polygamist teachings and excommunicate members found practicing plural marriage.

Despite unequivocal top-down condemnations of polygamy, the church’s continued theological affiliation with plural marriage is not lost on its members. In perhaps the most thorough and effective treatment on this issue to date, The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy, LDS author Carol Lynn Pearson lays out the ways in which plural marriage continues to shape the teachings and practices of the modern church. She discusses the fact that LDS men are still allowed to become eternally sealed (i.e., married) in the temple to multiple women if their previous wife or wives have died.

LDS women, however, are not afforded this privilege and must annul their previous sealing in order to get resealed to a second man after a divorce or if a previous husband has passed. And in the case of divorce, it’s important to note that men who are sealed to multiple women claim all the children to whom that previously divorced woman is sealed. While LDS leaders downplay these disparities by claiming uncertainty about what happens in the afterlife, the reality that only men are given eternal polygamous privileges is a continuous reminder of deep-seeded gender inequality that permeates the church all the way up to its pinnacle theological aspirations.

Perhaps the most conspicuous examples of this are the two most powerful men in the church today—President Russell M. Nelson and his first counselor, Dallin H. Oaks. Nelson’s first wife Dantzel White passed away in 2005 and one year later, he married his current wife, Wendy Watson. Oaks’ first wife, June Dixon, passed away in 1998. He married his current wife, Kristen McMain, several years later in 2000. Theologically speaking, both Nelson and Oaks are in eternal polygamous marriages with their two wives.

In addition to gender inequality, LGBTQ+ members must face the oppressive reality that they are prohibited from having even one marriage with a person they love, while

prominent leaders of the church who disparage their relationships are allowed multiple marriages in the afterlife. It is especially ironic that LDS leaders have, for decades, defended the doctrinal sanctity and political necessity of “traditional marriage” while continuing to uphold eternal polygamous marriages in their theology and practice.

This contradiction is part of a broader historical pattern in which church leaders rhetorically distance themselves from socially unacceptable practices while maintaining underemphasized theological ties to such practices.

Another example of this phenomenon is the church’s ongoing relationship with racism. Although they officially removed their 150-year temple and priesthood ban on people of African descent in 1978, the racist residue of LDS teachings continues to this day. In recent years, top leaders like President Nelson have condemned racism generally and have even received awards for doing so. However, LDS scripture still contains sections associating divine curses with “black skin” (see Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 5:21).

These paradoxical relationships with racism and polygamy reveal complex conundrums for the church when it comes to doctrines and practices that do not align with modern sensibilities. It seems that leaders want to have it both ways by maintaining political and cultural relevancy and power while simultaneously clinging to less palatable, yet crucial doctrines. In this era of increased accountability and transparency, that approach is simply unsustainable.

In order to address the hypocrisy and contradiction embedded in male eternal polygamy, church leaders must either own up to the fact that polygamy is still a core feature of LDS doctrine or entirely remove it from their afterlife theology. Removing it would not only lead to increased doctrinal consistency but would also constitute a powerful step toward greater gender equality within the church. CW Private Eye is off this week. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

KATHARINE

MISS: Men Are From Mars

It looks like The Salt Lake Tribune and the Deseret News were gobsmacked by the “news” of gender bias in the workplace. The Tribune was so amazed that they published a front-page story—based on a study by the Utah Women in Leadership Project—that men don’t really perceive gender bias the same way that women do. This is not to dismiss the ongoing work of the project, which attempts to throw light on women’s issues, but rather to show just how tone-deaf our media is. Gender bias has been around forever and at least since 1840 in the United States when the first women’s rights convention was held. That men still don’t see the problem is not unlike the Supreme Court insisting that this country is colorblind. Sexism and racism—they simply don’t exist if you don’t acknowledge them. And that is why Americans must ban books.

MISS: Divine Intervention

Utahns want to know more about “higher powers.” You know, the ones who answered our prayers for rain (or snow) and then had us dealing with flooding, but only for a while. The ones who apparently don’t care about fires in Canada (maybe because they’re not praying hard enough) or the air in New York (because those liberals won’t stoop to ask the higher beings to blow away the smoke). Now Gov. Spencer Cox has us praying in gratitude for the water boost, even though it likely wasn’t enough to stave off drought. If you prayed on July 2, Cox also believes you’re one who will conserve water. Meanwhile, The Salt Lake Tribune uncovered a note about why a post was deleted about LGBTQ+ Pride. It was because Cox wants his government to be agnostic. Do the higher powers know that?

HIT: Cookin’ With Gas

Let’s give the Utah Transit Authority a thumbs-up for trying, even if it doesn’t go far enough. UTA just won a $17 million grant from—gasp!— the federal government to buy lowemission, compressed natural gas buses, KUTV 2News reports. This means UTA can replace its older diesel buses. UTA’s convinced the new buses will lower fuel costs and “contribute to energy independence.” Oh, and it will help keep the air clean-ish. Since 2021, UTA’s five battery-powered buses have been operated by the University of Utah. Moving to zero emissions is difficult and hampered by funding. Still, it’s trying. “UTA recently implemented a strategic partnership agreement with Rocky Mountain Power (RMP). The agreement focuses on five areas: energy efficiency, electric vehicles, electrical infrastructure, grid resilience, research and grants,” a 2021 UTA report said. It would be nice if UTA could do away with diesel on FrontRunner, too.

Baby Steps

Unless it’s something like replacing an overpass in one evening, the ultra-widening of highways that displace residents, or—gasp!—installing speed bumps in an affluent (and traffic fatality-prone) section of town, transportation projects in Salt Lake City rarely make headlines. But at any given point in time, there are dozens of nonsexy projects around the city that slip under the radar but will have a lasting impact with respect to urban design, quality of life and resident safety.

Among the larger of such projects is the pedestrian bridge under construction on 300 North between 400 West and 500 West that provides passage over the railroad tracks (upper photo). Anyone who has commuted to/from the west side knows firsthand the frustration of getting caught behind a seemingly endless parade of freight rail. I once clocked a delay of 20 minutes before I was able to pass, while residents there have been stopped for as much as an hour at a time.

But if you live in or frequently visit the Guadalupe neighborhood, you’ll soon have an alternative to the highly trafficked North Temple bridge by crossing the tracks on this new path.

Not all projects have to be so grandiose to have an impact. On a concrete median on Melbourne Street and Atkin Avenue (lower right), the city is running a pilot to measure the temperature reduction of so-called “heat islands” after applying a more reflective coat on its surface. This info will prove invaluable when trying to mitigate high temps at hotter, treeless areas of the city.

Additionally, traffic calming barriers—an intentional obstruction in an otherwise straight-shot road and thus, a speed deterrant—have recently been installed on Emery Street and on Ramona Avenue near 1100 East (lower left). The infrastructure serves as a speed-filtering entrance to the planned Sugar House Neighborhood Byway, one of many scattered throughout the city.

These “byways”—known as “bicycle boulevards” in other cities—are meant to be overtly cycling- and pedestrianfriendly streets that connect to community destinations within the city and are marked by low traffic volume and even lower driving speeds. It’s an ambitious project that tends to spark reflex negativity from some residents, but existing byways—like 600 East and 800 East— prove that they do become popular over time. If you build it, they will come.CW

A new pedestrian bridge taking shape at 300 North will give west-side residents a reliable path over freight rail lines.

Traffic calming pilots and heat-reduction coating are some of the ways Salt Lake City is testing new urbanism strategies.

A&E

America the Streamable

In honor of the Fourth of July, some flicks titularly-related to ’Merica

BY BILL FROST comments@cityweekly.net

The Fourth of July is behind us—how patriotic are you feeling? Me, I can barely muster the motivation to light a sparkler to rah-rah-rah for the red, white and blue, much less crank out a column on starspangled TV. So, I simply typed “‘Merica” into streaming database Reelgood.com— laziness is this country’s birthright—and it spit back these movies. DJ, please cue up “Proud to Be an American,” or “YMCA,” and let’s get this BBQ started.

American Psycho 2 (2002; The Roku Channel): Except for a scene tacked-on to infer Patrick Bateman into the narrative, American Psycho 2 has absolutely nothing to do with 2000’s American Psycho, not even a feigned appreciation for Huey Lewis & The News. To better understand serial killers, criminology student Rachael (Mila Kunis) becomes one herself, eliminating her college competition for Quantico’s FBI Academy—can’t knock the hustle. If nothing else, American Psycho 2 is Kunis’ best role since Meg Griffin.

God Bless America (2011; Pluto TV, Tubi): Disgusted with American culture, middleaged Frank (Joel Murray) and deranged teen Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr) go on a killing spree, taking out reality TV stars, religious protestors and right-wing political pun-

dits; the trail of blood ends at an American Idol-style singing competition show (it’s like this movie read my mind). Writer/director Bobcat Goldthwait intended God Bless America as a dark comedy, but I just see it as a patriotic to-do list for the summer.

Americathon (1979; YouTube): In the distant future of 1998, the U.S. has run out of oil, paper money is worthless, and the country is about to be repossessed by a Native American cartel. Then new-agey President Chet Roosevelt (John Ritter) has an idea: A telethon to save America. Americathon is as relentlessly stupid as a MAD magazine issue come to life (Wiki “MAD magazine” and “telethon,” kids), but it does have a young Meat Loaf battling the last functioning muscle car in the nation.

Beavis & Butt-Head Do America (1996; Paramount+, Prime Video): A stone-cold American road-trip classic, following stone-dim delinquents Beavis and ButtHead (both voiced by Mike Judge) as they

travel the country in hopes that “heh, we’re gonna score, heh-heh.” They don’t (spoiler), but Beavis & Butt-Head Do America does boast the highest critical score of any movie here, and features Beavis (as Cornholio) wiping his bunghole with the Declaration of Independence 30 years before Orange 45 did.

American Satan (2017; Freevee, Tubi): Wannabe Hollywood rock band The Relentless crosses paths with The Devil (Malcolm McDowell—a Brit, so this Satan isn’t even American), who says he’ll make them superstars if they perform a human sacrifice for him. They do, he does, and the de rigueur montage of sex, drugs and rock-star debauchery ensues. This Hot Topic debacle is hellishly terrible, yet was somehow spun out into a slightlyless-terrible TV series (Paradise City, also streaming on Tubi).

American Joyride (2011; Freevee, Tubi): Ty (Alex Petrovich) and Crystal (Kather-

ine Randolph) are redneck lovebirds on the run from a psychotic loanshark—so of course they record their Deep South crime spree in hopes of selling it as a reality show (hey, we know TLC would be all over it). American Joyride is just another Natural Born Killers rip-off, a subgenre already perfected by 1994’s underrated Love and a .45 (Renée Zellweger’s finest hour), but it’s still good for some gonzo shaky-cam kicks.

American Bigfoot (2017; Freevee, Tubi): A sasquatch goes on a rampage in Ohio after its cub is killed by a drunk with a gun (hence the American modifier), and it’s headed straight for a campground for dryhumping teens called Kampout (the movie’s original title). Like Cocaine Bear on a 5-Hour Energy budget, American Bigfoot plays more like a comedy than a horror flick, headlined by what appears to be a roid-raging Muppet and that guy from Gremlins (Zach Galligan). We can lose Ohio, it’s fine. CW

American Psycho 2

Komodo dragon exhibit @ Loveland Living Planet Aquarium

Some critters in the world inspire fascination simply by virtue of their name. Throw in an impressive physical presence, and they can be particularly hard to resist.

So it’s understandable that the Loveland Living Planet Aquarium is particularly excited to introduce a new exhibit showcasing a Komodo dragon, a monitor lizard from the islands of Indonesia.

According to the aquarium’s Vice President and Director of Creative Design & Exhibits, Aryeh Robinson, it’s been a sixyear journey to finally acquiring the young Komodo dragon now on display at Living Planet Aquarium. It was hatched at the Bronx Zoo in Nov. 2021, under a Species Survival Plan managed by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums to ensure long-term survival of selected endangered species by maintaining genetic diversity of animals under human care. While the aquarium’s Komodo dragon is currently a little fella only around 3 feet in length—and as such, prone to spend much of its time in the trees as a survival mechanism—he might ultimately reach up to 10 feet in length and 150 pounds. When he outgrows the current exhibit in the main aquarium building’s Ford Asia Experience, he will be relocated to space in the 128,000 square foot Science Learning Center, currently under construction next door.

The Komodo dragon exhibit opened June 28, and is currently available with regular admission at the Loveland Living Planet Aquarium (12033 Lone Peak Pkwy., Draper). The aquarium is open daily 10 a.m. – 6 p.m., with tickets $12.95 - $27.95 at variable pricing depending on date of visit. Go to livingplanetaquarium.org for tickets and additional information. (Scott Renshaw)

SCOTT RENSHAW

ESSENTIALS

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

Utah Festival Opera & Musical Theatre

There are plenty of good reasons to spend a summer weekend hanging around in Logan, but one of the best is the annual showcase of some of the theater world’s greatest combinations of song and story. That’s what you get at the Utah Festival Opera & Musical Theatre, founded in 1992 by Michael Ballam, who remains an active part of the organization, including playing Fagin in this season’s production of Oliver!

That’s just the start of the 2023 season, which also features the 2013 Tony Award-winner for Best Musical A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder, the Ned Rorem opera version of Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, and Wagner’s classic opera Lohengrin. This year also features a unique chance to see two interpretations of the same venerable story: the tale of the enslaved Ethiopian princess Aida, from both the 1871 opera by Giuseppe Verdi, and the 2000 Broadway musical by Tim Rice & Elton John. Additionally, the UFOMT season traditionally features several special events, including the annual Michael Ballam Vocal Competition, “The Pianists” combination of masterworks and light-hearted entertainment, and Sentimental Journey, with the Festival’s singers interpreting beloved songs from the Great American Songbook, Elton John and more.

Utah Festival Opera & Musical Theatre runs July 5 – Aug. 5 at the Ellen Eccles Theatre (43 S. Main St.) and the Utah Theatre (18 W. Center St.) in Logan. Dates and times vary by individual production. Individual tickets are $8 - $92, with packages available including five-show, six-show and for the two Aida productions. Visit utahfestival.org to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (SR)

WALDRON CREATIVE

Salt Lake Speaks Slam Poetry Exhibition

Two years ago, as part of the Blocks SLC initiative to bring foot-traffic to downtown Salt Lake City’s Main Street, the Salt Lake County Division of Arts & Culture launched the Salt Lake Speaks Poetry Exhibition, showcasing local and national spokenword talent. And while the audiences have been relatively small so far for the intimate affairs, communications manager Cami Munk believes there’s opportunity for additional growth and engagement. “Poetry is not easy for everybody, but slam poetry, as I’ve learned, is a different way of listening and experiencing poetry,” Munk says. “Hopefully as we gain more attention, people will want to hear more about it.”

For 2023, the event returns, showcasing 10 participants curated with the assistance of local spoken-word artist Chelsea Guevara. Among the more familiar names in the Utah arts community is Jesse Parent, a second-place finisher at the Individual World Poetry Slam in 2010 and 2011, a former member of the Salt City Slam poetry teams and a former member of the executive council for Poetry Slam, Inc. Parent is scheduled to be joined by Ashley Finley, Frances Ngo, Magnolia, Marilyn Melissa Salguero, Monica Lisette, RJ Walker, Sammi Walker, Sophie, and Willy Palomo. The Salt Lake Speaks event kicks off two days of free events at the Eccles Theater (131 S. Main St.), with the poetry slam in the building lobby on Friday, July 7 at 7 p.m., and a showcase of local music in the plaza behind the theater on Saturday, July 8 at 6:30 p.m. Visit saltlakecountyarts.org for additional event information. (SR)

Protect Your Loved Ones

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

Kinky Boots @ Egyptian Theatre Park City

As state legislatures around the country began passing sloppilyworded and ill-conceived laws targeting drag performances, it soon became clear that other kinds of performances might be impacted as well. Musicals that prominently included feature roles for cross-dressing actors, including Hairspray and the 2013 Tony Award-winning Best Musical Kinky Boots, could also reasonably be banned—a particular travesty, given those stories’ narrative emphasis on people learning to understand and accept others they had previously “othered.”

The musical version of Kinky Boots adapts the 2005 British film of the same name, which itself was inspired by a true story. It follows the struggles of Charlie Price, who has reluctantly inherited a family shoemaking business that appears to be on the verge of bankruptcy. An unexpected opportunity for saving the business emerges, however, when Charlie meets Lola, a London drag queen. The high-heeled boots Lola needs for her act aren’t designed for the build and weight of a man, Charlie learns, opening up the possibility of the shoe factory filling a very niche market: stylized boots for drag performers. With a creative team made up of its own unique pairing—a book by playwright Harvey Fierstein and songs by 1980s pop icon Cyndi Lauper—Kinky Boots brings humor and heart to an exploration of being able to shift your paradigms for “normal.”

Ogden’s Ziegfeld Theatre brings its recent production of Kinky Boots to Park City’s Egyptian Theatre (328 Main St.) July 7-23. Tickets are $35 - $49; visit egyptiantheatrecompany.org for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

COURTESY PHOTO

Another

One year ago, the government agency overseeing the production, distribution and sales of alcoholic beverages in Utah underwent a name change intended to prioritize the business of alcoholic beverages—within the realm of public safety, of course—marking the first major shift in the agency’s direction since Latter-day Saint Church leader Heber Grant began promoting prohibition in 1908.

You read that right.

Utah’s Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control (DABC) is now the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Services (DABS). In swapping out the word “control” for “services,” they have signaled a change in the agency’s mission statement and philosophy.

No longer will the department be hyperfocused on controlling every thought and action of those who sell and/or consume alcoholic beverages, leaders say. Instead, it will focus on helping bars, pubs, breweries, distilleries and restaurants to be successful.

And under the direction of Utah Gov. Spencer Cox, Tiffany Clason was hired as DABS director. Her mandate from the governor was to make the business case for alcoholic beverage sales and to inform the public of the department’s new service-first initiatives.

“Our department name changed last year, but we’ve been continually implementing the service-first policies,” said DABS spokeswoman Michelle Schmitt. “It has been a genuine focus in recognizing the role [of alcoholic beverage sales] in community and

economic development and supporting business owners. People hear that from government and think, ‘Yeah, right.’ But we wanted to prove it.”

With one year’s worth of hindsight, is the name change signaling a real change, or is the public justified in thinking, “Yeah, right”? One of DABS’s first moves was to publish the department’s first-ever strategic plan and implement a “Starting From a Place of Yes” philosophy.

That was a necessary declaration, as those who produce or sell alcoholic beverages in Utah have long perceived the department as defaulting to “No” when dealing with them. The state was happy to rake in a half-billion dollars in alcohol sales each year— $557 million in 2022—but it seemed leaders wanted to appear to the nondrinking public like they were uncomfortable making that money, and that they were running alcohol sales poorly on purpose.

The new philosophy is an absolute sea change. Under Clason, DABS states that it wants its bar, brewery, distillery and restaurant “hospitality part-

ners” to thrive in Utah’s economy. New printed materials say the department will strive “to take the mystery out of complex regulations” and to “act as partners with business owners because of our shared interest in a robust local economy.”

Instead of forcing licensing applicants to wade through Utah’s regulatory miasma alone, DABS intends to “provide clear, accurate and timely information on what is required by those seeking to access and sell alcoholic products in the state.”

And in situations where businesses hit a roadblock, DABS states an intention to “document the issue and consider whether it’s appropriate to forward to state lawmakers for possible policy or legislative updates.”

It’s surprising enough that alcohol regulators in Utah would intend to be helpful. But when asked whether these intended changes are becoming tangible realities, industry leaders generally say, “Yes.”

“The goodwill is there, and it is something we’ve never seen. What they’re doing is putting customers first—hence the name,” says Michele Corigliano, executive director of the Salt Lake Area Restaurant Association. “They’re not putting the ‘control’ as the focus, and they have been really great to work with. All my members have been ecstatic with what they’ve seen so far.”

High Spirits

Kate Bradshaw, executive director of the Utah Beer Wholesalers Association, is also happy with the results of DABS’s first year. “Overall, it’s been a positive shift and emphasis from my perspective,” she said.

Similarly, DABS’s service-first approach is being felt among some who’ve applied for bar and restaurant licenses in the past year.

Amy Anderson and her husband, Jaron, were pleased with the support they got from the new DABS in procuring a license in preparation for opening their brewery, Helper Beer, in the spring of 2023. The Andersons were told to call the department with their questions, and they did. When they requested a meeting with their license and compliance specialists, they were invited to come up for an in-person visit the very next day.

Amy Anderson said she felt that as long as she had all her documentation and asked a lot of questions, getting approvced for licensing was a relatively simple process. “It’s definitely a ‘the ball’s in the licensee’s court’ kind of thing,” she said. “You have to have your ducks in a row.”

In addition, Amy said the couple had an above-and-beyond experience with the Utah Proud program, which is intended to promote locally produced alcoholic beverages. She said the

With a new name, new leadership and new goals, the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Services says its job now is to help businesses thrive.

BY BIANCA DUMAS | comments@cityweekly.net

DABS employee over the program—Bonnie Bills—personally reached out during the licensing process. Bills was also quick to connect Helper Beer’s website to DABS’s online product locator, Amy said.

“We had a great conversation,” Amy said. “She walked me through some of the things, welcomed me into the industry, sent me a handbook and said to reach out.”

Ann Torrence of Etta Place Cider in Torrey also has had a positive experience since the department’s philosophical change. “We were getting a bottleneck in getting the Utah’s Own label approved,” Torrence said. “Bonnie Bills interceded and helped us find a way to get that done.” (Utah’s Own is currently a separate program that also promotes Utah-made products.)

Torrence also mentioned that the problems that used to arise from dealing with a string of constantly changing compliance officers have noticeably diminished.

“Sometimes when the people you work with leave, you have to start over from Square 1,” she said, “but the last couple transitions with compliance officers have been seamless.”

That’s the new level of service that Clason wants DABS to provide, but it’s far from being fully implemented. Kate Lubing of Han’s Kombucha/HK Brewing Collective did not get to experience the new service-first philosophy in her company’s recent pursuit of a bar license.

“I wouldn’t say that there was a whole lot of—I don’t know how to word this—active support, where they were coming to us trying to kind of guide us along the way,” says Lubing, co-owner and director of operations. “I didn’t really feel that. We certainly made a lot of contact with them.”

When asked about the Utah Proud program, Lubing said that she hadn’t ever heard of it, “I’m not even aware of the program,” she said.

The state’s perpetual underfunding of the department is likely a contributing factor for the scattershot experience of producers in experiencing “service-first” in DABS’s first year. DABS has traditionally had an employee turnover rate far over 100%— meaning it loses more employees per year than its total number of positions—and has offered wages too low to compete with other agencies or the private sector.

To correct that problem, Clason requested investments toward employee compensation, and the Legislature responded. This year, it passed measures that changed the way warehouse and retail staff are compensated, finally making income for DABS jobs more competitive. Clason also implemented vastly improved training for employees.

“We want to work on developing our employees so that they have options,” Clason said. “In addition to receiving higher wages, DABS employees are receiving job training. This includes a mentor and buddy system program and a staff newsletter.”

For the first time ever, job training at DABS includes product knowledge training. Clason says she wants staff educated enough to recommend products to customers, and to feel excited about their jobs.

The in-house training offers detailed information on several alcohol product

categories. Employees are offered 17 short courses about spirits, 25 about wine and 20 about beer.

“When a customer asks for a recommendation between two bottles of red wine, nobody wants to say, ‘I don’t know.’ They want to feel like they can make a recommendation,” Clason said. “That’s not only a plus for our workforce, but also a benefit to our customers.”

Top Shelf

Alan Scott, co-owner of Waterpocket Distillery, is another small producer who said he has yet to feel the improvements at DABS. As a distiller, his primary concern is the difficulty of getting craft spirits like his into state-run liquor stores, because the purchasing system favors cheaper, commercially produced products.

“There’s been very much a focus on lowcost, high-volume liquors, and that’s kind of antithetical to craft,” he said. “If you’re actually going to make your craft product, you make it in a more traditional, less industrial way. You charge more. If you’re making a farm-to-glass product, there’s no way you can get into those price ranges. That’s still a fundamental problem with anything that’s crafted in the state.”

This difficulty has been compounded by Symphony, the inventory management system the department implemented in 2019, before Clason came on board. Symphony assesses the state stores’ needs based strictly on sales data.

That means a preference for national brands and cheap liquor, unless the price on a Utah brand is comparable to the chain product. Some Utah distillers feel pressure to outsource production in order to get their Utah-labeled bottle under the price-point

and into state stores. All of the above factors contribute to the products available on liquor store shelves being limited and largely homogeneous.

The small number of state liquor stores and the state’s single, undersize warehouse compound this problem. There’s only so much shelf space.

“If you went to a Utah liquor store, you’d have no idea of the revolution in craft spirits that’s going on nationwide,” Scott said.

Clason recognizes that state stores—and a single package agency per vendor—are the only path to market for artisan producers, and that such producers keep a lot of revenue local. She also concedes that local producers haven’t been warmly welcomed into the DABS retail space in the past.

“It’s safe to say that [when I was] coming into this job, most of our local producers probably felt a lack of respect and understanding,” she said.

In the past, the department has explicitly told Scott that they can’t give any preference to locally made products. That left Waterpocket Distillery to compete with brands like Jack Daniels (owned by Brown-Forman, one of the largest wine and spirits producers in the world). Local products also suffer the nightmare of delisting, or being periodically removed from the shelves as cheaper products take precedence.

When asked if there is a special responsibility to show any preference toward alcoholic products created here in Utah, Clason said, “Yes.” She acknowledged that the dormant “commerce clause”—which states there can be no differential treatment of in-state and out-of-state economic interests—has been used in the past to mistakenly justify non-support of local suppliers. She expressed a willingness to change that.

She’s also gathering information about industry trends through the National Alcoholic Beverage Control Association, an industry association for the 17 so-called “control states” in the U.S.

“Before each delisting period, we’re asking, ‘Do you see trends in your store? Do you have customers regularly asking for a product we don’t carry?’” she said.

Until now, Symphony has used only inventory management data to make purchases for stores. Rather than eliminate Symphony, Clason’s current strategy is to add additional information to the data the program collects.

She claims that sales data, run rate data, customer survey data and data from store managers should also be considered so that local producers are no longer at the mercy of a strict inventory management program. She also wants to draw attention to Utahmade products within stores, insomuch as the law will allow.

“Human intervention in looking at the data is helping us make better choices,” Clason said.

Surprisingly, the law has been allowing quite a bit. During the most recent legislative session, lawmakers passed Senate Bill 3, which allows DABS to borrow up to $140 million for a warehouse expansion, a new store in Ogden and replacement liquor stores in Moab and Roy.

In June 2021, the Taylorsville branch became the first state liquor store to sell cold beverages. The store installed 10 coolers, and local beers from Squatters, Red Rock and Uinta have been in top sales positions.

All new state liquor stores will have coolers installed, and the department plans to add them to existing stores as funding becomes available.

Jaron Anderson, left, and wife, Amy, were pleased with the support they got from the new DABS in procuring a license for their brewery, Helper Beer, in the spring of 2023.

“The last couple transitions with [DABS] compliance officers have been seamless.”

Ann Torrence, center, owner of Etta Place Cider

Ann Torrence of Etta Place Cider Jaron Anderson of Helper Beer

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO

Scott points out that future excellence in retail sales will require a very well-educated purchasing staff.

“DABS is an instrument of the Legislature, and if they want a better performance of DABS, they would create the procedures, policies and mechanism for doing it,” he said. “If they wanted to hire a hotshot expert in retail sales to run the purchasing arm, they could.”

Old Fashioned

The most common challenge faced by those selling alcoholic beverages comes down to the limited number of liquor licenses Utah makes available each period. This is based on a formula that allots one license per 10,200 state residents, so licenses granted by the Alcoholic Beverage Services Commission are scarce. The solution to this problem has been to grant them only to businesses that can be fully operational— staffed, trained and ready to go—within 48 hours of licensure.

The model assumes that business owners will be able to assume huge upfront costs in construction, inventory and staffing only to sit closed for as many months as necessary until they’re duly licensed and allowed to open.

If a business wants staff thoroughly trained on Utah’s ever-changing and complex liquor laws, the staff might be on payroll for weeks before any paying customers arrive. If the business can’t afford that, owners must secure staff on short notice and risk under-training them—that puts an alcohol-selling business at huge risk in Utah, which strictly patrols improper service and levies heavy fines for mistakes.

Again, the state’s previous model has privileged national chains and corpora-

tions with deep enough pockets to pay carrying costs and lawyers as necessary. The new DABS philosophy acknowledges this problem, with updated materials calling for “strong communication” before a would-be licensee submits their application

While HK Brewing was trying to procure a liquor license so they could offer a kombucha cocktail menu, they were told to apply for single-event permits to sell alcohol while they waited. Venues are allowed between 12 and 24 such permits a year, at the cost of $500 apiece. Bar licenses carry application fees, licensing fees and recurring renewal fees.

“So we’re $13,000-$15,000 in, on top of paying for a bar license,” Lubing said. “I think some changes could be made there where they’re dropping the fee or it’s going toward your application, because you’re waiting on a bar license you’ve paid for, and you’re out that [permit] money as well.”

HK Brewing is trying to become the first hard kombucha manufacturer in Utah, and is having a hard time getting its manufacturing license. This is more evidence that the state’s past policies have been antagonistic to local business, as the state is importing hard kombucha while preventing a local producer from moving forward on operations and distribution.

DABS can’t legally advocate for more licenses, but Clason says it can educate the Legislature by sharing the concerns of applicants and other stakeholders with them.

Members of the Utah Legislature assigned to focus on alcohol policy are Sen. Jerry Stevenson, R-Layton; Rep. Jefferson Burton, R-Salem; and Rep. Karen Peterson, R-Clinton. In recent years, they’ve funded a study to determine if Utah should change the quotas related to licensure.

It’s rumored that past alcohol studies were essentially thrown in the garbage. But DABS and the Legislature were intentional about publicly announcing the commissioning of this new study.

“One of the main attractions of large cities—and I can say this as a professional in my industry—is food and beverage,” Lubing said. “Utah, in general, cannot continue to preach that it wants to grow positively in the same way some of these other thriving cities have while tying the hands of the people who make the business.”

It’s been said that the changes are happening slowly because first the department has to “come out of the Dark Ages.” That means updating the DABS system and stores to simply function on the level of modern retail businesses.

Necessary improvements will include installing Wi-Fi in all DABS stores so staff can use common retail operation tools, like hand scanners for stocking shelves. They also plan to update the customer payment system to include Google and Apple Pay.

For years, the department has largely required businesses to apply for licenses, make orders and pay for their alcohol through on-paper and in-person transactions. To change this, DABS has procured funding from the Legislature to build an IT infrastructure that will allow businesses to conduct routine orders and operations online. The program launches on July 5 and was developed with input from hospitality partners and business associations.

There’s still a long way to go. For example, businesses purchasing alcohol for resale pay full price, including the state markup—there is no wholesale discount. This severely limits revenue in an industry with minuscule margins.

Then, the businesses often can not pick up their liquor order from the warehouse, but instead have to drive from one state liquor store to another to gather the necessary product.

Apart from being time-consuming, this puts them in competition with retail customers who might be heading to their closest liquor store for a bottle, only to find that the product they wanted has been wiped off the shelf.

Although one of 17 control states, Utah is largely viewed as having among the strictest regulations and was recently—and famously—called the No. 1 most “boring” of them all. But if the changes keep coming, the state could start to be known for something besides its backward liquor laws.

And because the change in DABS has come about under Gov. Cox’s direction, some interested parties are talking about campaigning for the him during the next election cycle in order to keep Ms. Clason.

“You’re only able to do these improvements with the support of Gov. Cox and the Legislature,” Utah Beer Wholesalers Association’s Kate Bradshaw said, noting that lawmakers now recognize the need to treat DABS like they would other departments. “It’s been a big shift from both of the branches of government, and a director in Tiffany Clason who has had a great skill set to take that initiative and direction to implement these big changes.” CW

The sale of alcohol benefits all Utahns, whether they imbibe or not. Liquor store profits are returned to the state for spending on roads, schools and public safety, while alcohol transactions generate tax revenue at the local level.

Here’s what more than $500 million in liquor sales meant for Utah government coffers in the 2021 fiscal year:

$123.6 MILLION to the state’s General Fund $51.75 MILLION for free and reduced-price school lunches $30.6 MILLION in local sales taxes $4.5 MILLION for public safety investigations and alcohol enforcement $2.4 MILLION for the Parents Empowered campaign $1.75 MILLION for underage drinking prevention

“In addition to receiving higher wages, DABS employees are receiving job training.’”

—DABS director Tiffany Clason

“You’re only able to do these improvements with the support of Gov. Cox and the Legislature.”

—Kate Bradshaw, Utah Beer Wholesalers Association

COURTESY PHOTO COURTESY PHOTO

Power Couple

Flavors of Oaxaca and El Salvador combine with La Oaxaqueña and Café Guanaco.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

It’s been exciting to watch places that celebrate the food of Mexico City, Sonora and Oaxaca start building an audience and finding success among Utah diners. While ruminating on this development, I decided to check out La Oaxaqueña (multiple locations, laoaxaquenaut.com), mainly because Oaxaca cheese is one of my love languages.

As I got to know the restaurant, I learned that its Salvadorean sister restaurant Café Guanaco shares kitchens with both La Oaxaqueña’s locations, which was a bonus. When the regional foods of Mexico and El Salvador come together, you’re going to have a good time.

La Oaxaqueña has been a local mustvisit because of their traditional take on Oaxacan cuisine, most notable of which is the tlayuda (pronounced cla-you-da). A tlayuda is essentially a party on a plate, as a 12-inch crispy tortilla gets tossed with whatever toppings are readily available. I’ve seen plenty of online recipe bloggers call this “Oaxacan pizza,” but I feel like that’s a minimization of this dish’s true power. Sure, one could argue that a tlayuda consists of tasty toppings and melty cheese on a crispy crust, which is pretty much what pizza is, but there is a spiritual difference here that must be acknowledged.

During my first visit to La Oaxaqueña, I

tried the tlayuda de mole ($21.99), because a nice mole negro sounded like it would hit the spot. The wait times here can get a bit long, since they make everything to order, so it’s a good time to take in the floral tables and the rows upon rows of colorful Oaxacan streamers. It’s also a nice time to sip on one of the restaurant’s aguas frescas—the pineapple ($5) and Salvadorean horchata ($5) are particularly flavorful and refreshing.

When the tlayuda does arrive, be prepared for the shot of joy that ricochets through your body when you see how much cheese that sucker is packing. In contrast with the house tlayuda ($25)— which comes with a meatier mix of chorizo, steak tasajo and cecina, a type of cured meat—the tlayuda de mole is a more understated way to experience this dish.

Before it gets a glorious pile of shredded and melted Oaxaca cheese, the crisp tortilla is doused in a homemade mole negro. The whole thing is topped with some sliced avocado and served with a bottle of salsa verde to liven things up a bit.

The first thing a newcomer to this dish might notice is that the whole 12-inch round of tortilla has not been pre-cut into more manageable slices. Though you can ask for your tlayuda to be folded before preparation, I would argue that the original presentation is much more fun to eat; it’s like nachos that you have to break apart yourself. I went with the stab-andfold approach, where I poked my fork at a pressure point and then pinched two sides of the tortilla together, making a dope-ass little taco that was easy enough to devour.

Though the tlayuda de mole was a bit more low-key than its associates, it nevertheless maintains a tenuous balance of flavor extremes. A perfect bite—one that balances the subtle sweetness of the mole

and the gooey saltiness of the cheese with the creamy avocado—is precisely that. But the magnitude of cheese can sometimes overwhelm the palate, which can be combatted easily enough with liberal doses of their fiery salsa verde. It’s safe to say that eating a tlayuda is an entire spectacle of a moment, and I can’t recommend it enough.

On the Salvadorean side of things, you’ve got a very nice variety of pupusas to choose from. These traditional monsters of Salvadorean street food are typically made by filling masa dough with anything from beans & cheese to shrimp & veggies, before they hit a griddle for a nice, crispy exterior. These pupusas are made to order so they take a bit of time to hit the table, but once you take a bite, you’re grateful for all that extra time. I went with the pork and cheese revueltas ($3.75) and the shrimp & cheese ($3.75), which come with some red sauce and a tableside container of vinegary cabbage and peppers for dressing. These pupusas are primo, and quite decently sized compared to other places I’ve been.

La Oaxaqueña and Café Guanaco are a power couple in every sense of the word. They’ve worked hard to bring their affection for traditional Oaxacan and Salvadorean cuisine to the Wasatch Front, and have achieved some phenomenal results. Any fan of Mexican and Central American cuisine will feel right at home at either their South Salt Lake or Taylorsville locations. Combining their traditional takes on regional cuisine along with whipping up some truly refreshing aguas frescas for the toasty months ahead makes this place the feel-good hit of the summer. CW

1048

6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC

avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Midnight Especial- Dark Mexican Lager

Bewilder Brewing 445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Mango Goze

Bohemian Brewery 94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: Climax Cream Ale - nitro

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC craftbyproper.com

On Tap: Purple Rain - Marionberry Helles

Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC

DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap: Munich Lager

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC

EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Double Cross Ale

Fisher Brewing Co. 320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works 333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT helperbeer.com/

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Irish Red

Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co.

2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Nitro In The Pines

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST 550 So. 300 West #100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap: Golden Sproket Wit Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Mango Tajin ( she’s a spicy #) & Cherry Noir

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan

Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: It’s Complicated Sour

Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC

ProperBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Whispers from Krakatoa - Helles Lager with Habanero and Mango

Proper Burger: Sour RangerBlackberry and Lemon Sour

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191 Moab, Utah 84532

On Tap: Angus McCloud- Scottish Ale

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction Redrockbrewing.com

1640 Redstone Center

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Bluebird American Wheat Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Identity Crisis Session

West Coast Hazy Cold IPA – the name says it all!

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Summer Camp Crush NEIPA

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Kiss Whoever You WantPride Month IPL

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC

Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Etta Place / Scion Cider Collab Dry Hop - 6.8%

Shades Brewing

154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Hellion Blond Ale, an ode to Ellie, manager at Shades on State

Live Music: Thursdays

Shades On State 366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Hellion Blond Ale, an ode to Ellie, manager at Shades on State

Karaoke: Wednesdays

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/squatters

On Tap: It Was Always The Citra IPA

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery 1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Squatters & Pink Boots Collab Healthy Boundaries Black IPA, 5%

Strap Tank Brewery Multiple Locations StrapTankBrewery.com

Spirit World Saison - Grid City Collaboration Sour Saison/Wine Hybrid Utah Smog - Fruited Sour Cocktail (orange, raspberry, sweet cherry and pineapple)

Stratford Proper 1588 Stratford Ave., SLC stratfordproper.com

On Tap: Yacht Rock Juice BoxJuicy IPA

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Beechwood Rauchbier (NABA ‘23 Silver Medal Winner)

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Hot Girl Summer- lavender honey wheat

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Love Punch for us –Tropical Hefeweizen-5% ABV. Pride beer! A portion of proceeds are donated to Project Rainbow

Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/wasatch

On Tap: Wasatch Apricot Hefeweizen Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez 205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

BEER NERD

Zombie Bombs

Beer Zombies hits with two new flavor explosions

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Beer Zombies - Hops From Above

2023: This New England-style double IPA has a hazy orange appearance, with a large, frothy white head that lasts for several minutes. The color is deep and rich, and the haze is a characteristic of the style. Upon pouring into my glass, the beer’s fresh and fruity aroma stands out. It boasts a bouquet of citrus and tropical fruit, including notes of orange, tangerine and passionfruit. Notes of pine and resin are noticeable, adding depth and complexity to the overall fragrance of the beer. The hop aroma is well-balanced with the sweet and fruity notes, making for a harmonious and enjoyable aroma experience.

The palate of Hops From Above is characterized by juicy, tropical notes of passion fruit, guava,and mango. The hops used in this beer provide a balance of bitterness and sweetness, making it an incredibly well-rounded and easy-drinking beer. The mouthfeel is medium-bodied with a light carbonation, contributing to a smooth, creamy texture that is not too heavy, so it won’t weigh you down, and the mild bitterness helps to cleanse the palate between sips. The texture makes it easy to drink, and it goes down smoothly without leaving any residue in the mouth.

Verdict: Hops From Above is a topnotch NEIPA that is sure to impress. The combination of hoppy bitterness and sweet fruit notes makes for a truly unique and delicious beer. It’s definitely worth a try.

Beer Zombies - Zombie HWhip-Orange Coconut Vanilla Tangerine: My experience with some of these “milkshake” beers has been hit or miss, but often

they’re either swimming in lactose sugars, or full of artificial citrus flavors. This is neither of those. This ale pours a murky but not quite milky glowing orange-juice yellow, topped with a thin cap of foam that disappears immediately. I thought HWhip smelled like an orange creamsicle, and this is basically an intensified orange creamsicle: orange, vanilla cream and coconut. There’s some faint tangerine in the background, but this is, plain and simple, orange and vanilla cream. Not at all complex, but amazing nonetheless.

The beer greets the palate with a blast of tart orange puree. It isn’t super sweet like some other milkshake beer offerings I’ve had, though. It’s just right, while edging towards the tart side. Next, a balancing explosion of coconut and vanilla comes in and adds sweetness that keeps the juice and the beer’s tart base from becoming overly sour. There is definitely a true orange-and-vanillacream flavor, but it isn’t artificial or even close to hoppy, where the citrus feels driven by hops. The creamsicle theme is subtle and restrained, yet totally pops. It finishes with some orange and cream, along with some nice citrus pith to cut through the sweetness, but zero bitterness; pure orange creamsicle flavor lingers. The beer is full in body, with the beer itself drinking crisp and medium, and the lactose lending a soft fullness. Not chewy, cloying, or sticky, with low effervescence but still well-carbonated.

Verdict: Do you hate lactose in beer? This may change my mind entirely. It’s sweet, but not overly so; you get lots of the promised orange, coconut, vanilla and tangerine without a taste that’s unnatural, or overtakes the beer. If this is the definition of a milkshake sour ale, then dammit, I’m converted! Even if you despise lactose beers, do yourself a favor and try this one.

These two beers are exclusive to Beer Zombies locations in Salt Lake City and Las Vegas They’re in 16-ounce cans, and can only be enjoyed in-house, with no option to take home from the bar. As always, cheers! CW

MIKE RIEDEL

MIKE RIEDEL

2496 S. WEST TEMPLE, SLC LEVELCROSSINGBREWING.COM @LEVELCROSSINGBREWING

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Eat Drink SLC Tix Going on Sale

To make sure Eat Drink SLC event is on your radar this year—and to make sure you can actually snag some tickets—I wanted to let everyone know that tickets for both nights will be for sale on July 12 at 8 a.m., and you can snag them online at eatdrinkslc.com. For those who didn’t know about this excellent night out among the foodies and the birdies for the past ten years, Eat Drink SLC is a confab between SB Dance and the Tracy Aviary, and it brings some of Utah’s finest culinary minds together for a few evenings of charity, good food and plenty of wine to drink. This year’s event takes place Sept. 13 and 14—be there or be square.

New Seasonal Menu and Patio Dining at Adelaide

Chef Jacqueline Siao’s team at Adelaide (131 S. 300 West, 801-658-4600, adelaidesaltlake.com) recently announced that their patio is open for dining during the summer. As part of their transition into the summer season, Chef Siao has created a seasonal menu designed to beat the heat. For starters, Adelaide will have a brunch and breakfast menu that will feature ricotta & lemon hot cakes, grilled swordfish tacos and some West Quarter biscuits & gravy made with Old Bay cheddar biscuits and country sausage gravy. Their all-day menu will feature additions like chicken and caviar, and lacquered short ribs with cheddar grits. Their new menu will also be complemented with plenty of refreshing craft cocktails to choose from.

Karaoke and Doughnuts at Yonutz

For our friends down in Utah County in need of something to do on a Wednesday night, the Orem Yonutz location (545 E. University Parkway, Ste. 105, 385-375-2931, yonutz.com) will be hosting weekly karaoke nights. Yonutz is a national doughnut chain that won some notoriety from Shark Tank ’s Kevin Harrington (who backed the concept) and TikTok star YoAngelolo, and it’s recently opened three locations in Utah. Every Wednesday from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., doughnut fans can gather at the Orem store to sing their hearts out while chowing down on some of Yonutz’ signature doughnuts, scooping up some ice cream or digging deep into a smashed milkshake.

Quote of the Week: “As you ramble through life, brother, whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the doughnut and not upon the hole.” –Margaret Atwood

Friends and Lovers

Shifting relationship dynamics mark three new releases.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

BIOSPHERE BBB½

More than a decade after co-starring in the brilliant Humpday, co-writer/costar Mark Duplass—with co-writer Mel Eslyn making her feature directing debut—returns to similar territory exploring masculinity and male friendships in this funky sci-fi comedy. In the aftermath of an environmental catastrophe, former U.S. president Billy (Duplass) and his lifelong best friend/science advisor Ray (Sterling K. Brown) are living together in a sealed environment of Ray’s creation, believing themselves to be the last people on earth. A problem with their home’s food-creation system inspires a potential existential crisis, except that—as Billy notes while quoting Jurassic Park—life finds a way. The details are best left discovered rather than

explained, though Duplass and Eslyn drop enough hints early on to suggest where the story is going. The pleasures here, however, aren’t all about stuff that could be revealed in spoilers, but in how that story digs into so many interesting ideas: how deeply internalized homophobia can be; the way buddy-comedy bromances shape our notions of male connection; how much of our gender identity is in our heads vs. in our groins. Most impressively, the filmmakers take on those notions without ever feeling like it’s a lecture, finding great awkward comedy in two terrific performances. A central metaphor that tries to link an openness about life’s mysteries to magic feels somewhat forced, but Biosphere proves wise and funny while wondering if our very survival depends on re-thinking what it means to be a man. Available July 7 in theaters and via VOD. (R)

JOY

RIDE BB½

While this is clearly a “your mileage may vary” dynamic, it almost always feels like a miscalculation to me when a movie adopts the American Pie paradigm of “make the raunchiest comedy possible, but also try to be excruciatingly sincere.” This one opens in suburban Washington State circa 1998, where Audrey and Lolo—the only two Asian kids in their class—meet and become best friends. Twenty-five years

later, attorney Audrey (Ashley Park) and artist Lolo (Sherry Cola) are still pals, and heading off on a trip together to China, where adoptee Audrey might unexpectedly find herself meeting her birth mother. Audrey and Lolo are joined on their journey by Lolo’s cousin Deadeye (Sabrina Wu) and Audrey’s college roommate Kat (Stephanie Hsu), and the complicated interactions between the foursome do generate plenty of guffaws. But while director Adele Lim and her screenwriting team go all-out to earn their R rating—over-the-top sex scenes, labia tattoos, mass drug consumption and more—they also want to dive into issues of identity surrounding race, class and sexuality that go beyond creating conflict between their main characters. One of the big late developments sets up a scene almost engineered in a lab to be a tearjerker, yet it feels terribly out of place considering everything that has preceded it. If there’s a movie that has found a comfortable fit between emotional string-pulling and labia tattoos, I guess I just haven’t found it yet. Available July 7 in theaters. (R)

THE LESSON BB½

There’s a certain brand of slippery, twisty psychological drama that depends entirely on you buying into the plot machinations— and this one tries to tie things up with an assumption that just makes no sense at all.

It’s the story of Liam Sommers (Daryl McCormack), an aspiring writer who takes a job at the estate of his literary idol, novelist J.M. Sinclair (Richard E. Grant), to tutor Sinclair’s son Bertie (Stephen McMillan) in preparation for college entrance exams. But as Liam tries to complete his long-gestating debut novel, he also gets tangled up in Sinclair’s work on his own long-awaited comeback after a family tragedy. Sinclair’s wife Hélène (Julie Delpy) is also part of the equation, and first-time feature screenwriter Alex MacKeith attempts to build a sense of mystery involving the relationships between the characters. But while Grant does a great job with his chewy role as a narcissistic artist, McCormack makes Liam far too enigmatic, so that it’s hard to get a handle on how he feels about anyone (including himself). Mostly, though, it’s a narrative built on writerly contrivances like Liam’s photographic memory for any text he reads, all building up to a climax that’s predicated on treating a character’s choice as inevitable, when it feels like anything but. Director Alice Troughton finds the right tone mixing elegance with low-key menace, but it’s hard to get past a “betcha didn’t see that coming” ending where the appropriate response seems to be, “and why should we have?” Available July 7 in theaters. (R) CW

The Lesson BLEECKER STREET FILMS

Joy Ride LIONSGATE FILMS

A Song in My Pocket, A Hope in My Heart

Phil Douglass explains why everyone should pick up the harmonica

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

“Carry a song in your pocket, and you’ll always have hope in your heart,” said longtime harmonica player Phil Douglass. “That’s not just a cheesy little saying; that’s something that I feel very, very strongly about.”

Douglass has carried around the inexpensive, yet profoundly impactful little instrument in his pocket for most of his life. From childhood to his decades exploring Utah’s wilderness, the harmonica has been there—and he hopes to spread the joy of the harmonica with as many others as possible.

“I remember [my dad] giving me a harmonica when I was eight and saying that it would always be a friend to me, and truly, that was the case,” Douglass said. He spent 32 years working for the Utah Division of Wildlife, listening to the songs of nature, but also making his own with this tiny instrument. “I would be alone sometimes at campfires, and I found that I could be alone and never lonely with this harmonica,” he said.

While he has retired from his day job, he’s far from inactive; he now spends his days inspiring others to use music as a creative outlet, and helping people find themselves along with some inner peace. “I love introducing people to the soothing and happy sounds of the harmonica,” he said. “In today’s world, there is so much

MUSIC

stimulation from the outside world, that I am afraid people are forgetting the creative powers they have within themselves. The harmonica is such a great way to awaken and enjoy the music from your heart.”

It’s easy to get swept up in technology and social media—addicting even. It can be hard to pull away, and music is a perfect escape from these stresses. Many might think that picking up a musical instrument is outside of their ability, but Douglass is adamant that anyone can play the harmonica. “You don’t have to have any musical background. In fact, I do a lot of programs where I teach just that,” he said. Back in the ’90s, Douglass came up with a program called Campfire Companion that features a trusty harmonica, booklet and DVD to help you learn how to play the instrument. “I thought, ‘What would I name this harmonica?’ And I didn’t have to think about it very long. I thought, ‘Well, there’s only one natural name. It’s been a friend of mine. It’s going to be called the Campfire Companion,’” he said.

Pandemic notwithstanding, Douglass spends time traveling to teach courses with this lesson plan, tying it in with nature. For example, Douglass thinks back to his time studying small forest animals in Colorado in his wildlife exploration days, and how they would utilize call-and-response to communicate. Call-and-response is also a musical term, so he uses this idea with students, making the class fun and informative.

“I often do these programs with people [who] have high anxiety, emotional issues, autism and depression,” he said. “Sometimes music can be very grating to them, so I had to be very, very careful on how we do this. That’s why I introduced this concept in a wildlife sense, and then say, ‘Okay, we can do this musically,’ and by that time, I’ve taught them how to get some soft vibratos and do soft runs up and down the harmonica, and not doing anything really brash, but just quiet, peaceful types of sounds.”

Douglass believes that with just a little bit of instruction, anyone can learn to

play the harmonica—and with that, gain a sense of community and connection, especially with nature. “Music and nature are companions for life,” he said. “Really and truly, I’m speaking from personal experience, that is my heart and soul, outdoors and wildlife and my family. It’s just a huge part of my existence. So they truly have been and will be companions for life for me.”

It can be intimidating to approach a musical instrument you’ve never played before, or even pick one up if you’ve never touched one. But if you’re searching for a way to express yourself and learn something new, the harmonica is the perfect place to start. “Just give it a try,” Douglass said. “Don’t worry about playing a song.

Make up music from your heart.”

You can pick up Douglass’s Campfire Companion kit on his website campfirecompanion.com, and he really hopes you will. “The message here is to go someplace that’s quiet, that you feel comfortable with, where you can sit down and without any distraction, and just play what’s in your heart,” he said.

Douglass’s harmonica has gotten him through some hard times, and he truly believes it can help get you through yours as well: “I just found these things to be totally medicinal to me. To spend time doing this thing, to share with others musically and then combine it with nature, truly was medicine for me. And I was grateful to share that.” CW

Phil Douglass

WOODSTOCK MUSIC FESTIVAL

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS DJ FRESH(NESS)

SATURDAYS POKER @ 2PM DJ DELMAGGIO

SHARK SUNDAYS POOL TOURNEY HOSTED BY JARED AND TANNER

MONDAYS REGGAE MONDAY WITH DJ NAPO

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS KARAOKE

Hectic Hobo, Balls Capone, King Niko @ Urban Lounge 7/6

Summer is in full swing, and it’s the best time to get out and catch some of your favorite locals in action. This triple-threat lineup is sure to be an exciting show hot off the July 4th holiday. At the top of the bill is Hectic Hobo, still fresh off of their latest release American Bison from the end of 2022. It was released smack dab in the middle of winter, but this is a perfect album for summertime. The Americanainfused album is rife with lively storytelling, unique instrumentation and callbacks to SLC. Another reason seeing Hectic Hobo live is such an entertaining experience is that these guys are just having fun; as soon as they hit the stage the venue is filled with happiness and joy. This exciting show doesn’t end with the headliners, as they’re joined by Balls Capone and King Niko, who have been busy the last couple years putting out new music. At the beginning of this year, King Niko hit us with their latest single “Pockets,” a punchy track with driving bass that will have you up on your feet in no time. Come out to see this epic trio of local acts on Thursday, July 6 at 8 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $10, and can be found at 24tix.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

Hectic Hobo BEEHIVE PHOTO

By Emilee Atkinson

Fall Out Boy

Fall Out Boy, Bring Me the Horizon @ USANA Amphitheater 7/7

Fall Out Boy is synonymous with alt rock in the early aughts. It was hard not to hear someone singing “Thanks for the memories / Even though they weren’t so great,” or “We’re going down, down in an earlier round / And sugar we’re going down swinging,” at the top of their lungs. Fall Out Boy made music for rock and emo fans alike. Bassist Pete Wentz had some of the most iconic emo hairstyles back in the day. While they had massive success in the early part of their career, Fall Out Boy have kept their relevance through the years by growing and changing with the times. They’ve branched out in their music, with songs like their 2013 hit “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)” that offer a more pop-friendly feel, then into the modern day with their latest album So Much (For) Stardust. The album definitely has those early ‘00s rock/emo influences, tied in with rock elements that make it fresh while still feeling familiar. Joining Fall Out Boy are British metalcore group Bring Me the Horizon, who have a similar story: They made it big in the early ’00s, and have kept a dedicated fanbase into 2023. Come relive memories while making some new ones on at USANA Amphitheater on Friday, July 7 at 6:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show range from $60-170 and can be found at livenation.com. (EA)

By Emilee Atkinson

Acoustic Tuneup Show @ Garage on Beck 7/9

Good day, sunshine—the temperature continues to rise, and with limited reprieve. And, while there are few proverbial things sanctified to combat heat as hot as the devil, luckily you can find three of those tried and true fixes at the upcoming Acoustic Tune Up at Garage on Beck: chilled beer, a shaded patio and live, acoustic music. This particular summertime oasis is brought to you by the Intermountain Acoustic Music Association (IAMA), an SLC non-profit devoted to promoting local acoustic music and musicians. All tickets purchased for the Tuneup benefit IAMA’s work, ensuring that their annual local concert series can continue in full swing for the upcoming 2023-24 cycle. So what the hell are you waiting for? The line-up for this special July 9 showcase features five of the foremost acoustic talents in the Salt Lake Valley: The Dusty Boxcars, Marv Hamilton Band, Kate MacLeod (and friends!), Melissa Chilinski and David Burchfield and the Fire Guild. All you’ve gotta do is show up, order a pint, and lick your fingers clean of the peerless Refinery Wings’ sauce. You’ll leave the event appeased, quenched, and perky knowing you supported a superb organization who has helped showcase the careers of many of the musicians you read about between these hallowed pages. Music for the 21+ show begins at 3 p.m. and ends at 10 p.m. Tickets can be purchased for $20 (Only! For five bands and a good time!) on the IAMA website (iamaweb.org), 24tix.com, or at the door. Come out and support local acoustic music and musicians, and may their traditions live long. Because, as you know, there ain’t nothin’ like the real thing, baby! (Sophie

Caligiuri)

Los Lobos @ Red Butte Gardens 7/9

Celebrating 50 years of producing and performing music, Los Lobos just keep on rocking. “When this all started, I didn’t think I’d be talking to anybody about looking back over 40 or 50 years,” Los Lobos saxophonist Steve Berlin told the Nashville Scene this year. “The main thing I would want to share with anybody is just how grateful we all are to be able to make our own way and make these records the way we want to, and not really have to compromise ever.” Much more than that band from La Bamba and the Spy Kids soundtracks, Los Lobos have recorded songs in almost every form of popular music, and were big ambassadors of Tejano music to the continental U.S. If one might think that the challenge of getting into Los Lobos is that their discography is so extensive and it seems overwhelming to jump into … well, starting from the beginning is a good idea. Or a quick chronological skim of studio albums: How Will the Wolf Survive? ; La Pistola y el Corazón; Kiko; This Time and The Town and the City. Also, “Good Morning Aztlan” is one of those songs that gets better the louder you play it. The genre-jumping and rhythmic juggernaut Ozomatli open. Go see ’em live. Check these acts at the Red Butte Garden Outdoor Concert Series on Sunday, July 9. Gates open at 6 p.m., show starts at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $47 for garden members and $52 for the public, available at redbuttegarden.org (Mark Dago)

Cuffed Up @ DLC 7/10

It’s easy to draw inspiration from different countries around the globe. Every culture has their own unique sound, and it’s fun to step out of your normal listening routine to discover something new. L.A.-based rock group Cuffed Up started in 2018 when songwriter/guitarist Ralph Torrenfranca was dazzled by the post-punk scene in the U.K. Captivated by the likes of IDLES, Fontaines DC and Shame, Cuffed Up was formed when Christina Apostolopoulos, Joe Liptock and Victor Ordonez joined—and the rest was history. The quartet’s sound has been compared to iconic ’90s acts like Sonic Youth and the Pixies, mixed with a bit of modern day English acts like Wolf Alice. One of their most exciting singles from the last couple years, “Even the Worm Will Turn,” is an exciting showing of the band’s inspiration paired with their own unique sound. It has a punk aesthetic with intense vocals from Apostolopoulos and a full sonic soundscape that will have your ears perked up and ready to listen. So far in 2023, Cuffed Up have put up some live recordings, but hopefully there’s some new music in the mix for later this year. Come catch this young punk-inspired group on Monday, July 10 at 7 p.m. You gotta be 21+ for this one, and tickets are $10 at 24tix.com. (EA)

PIERO F GIUNTI

Los Lobos

Cuffed Up

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Genius physicist Albert Einstein said, “The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old questions from new angles, requires creative imagination and makes real advances.” What he said here applies to our personal dilemmas, too. When we figure out the right questions to ask, we are more than halfway toward a clear resolution. This is always true, of course, but it will be an especially crucial principle for you in the coming weeks.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.” So said Taurus biologist and anthropologist Thomas Huxley (1825-1895). I don’t think you will have to be so forceful as that in the coming weeks. But I hope you’re willing to further your education by rebelling against what you know. I hope you will be boisterously skeptical about conventional wisdom and trendy ideas. Have fun cultivating a feisty approach to learning! The more time you spend exploring beyond the borders of your familiar world, the better.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Hooray and hallelujah! You’ve been experimenting with the perks of being pragmatic and well-grounded. You have been intent on translating your ideals into effective actions. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you so dedicated to enjoying the simple pleasures. I love that you’re investigating the wonders of being as down-to-earth as you dare. Congratulations! Keep doing this honorable work.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

I wrote my horoscope column for more than 10 years before it was widely syndicated. What changed? I became a better writer and oracle, for one. My tenacity was inexhaustible. I was always striving to improve my craft, even when the rewards were meager. Another important factor in my eventual success was my persistence in marketing. I did a lot of hard work to ensure the right publications knew about me. I suspect, fellow Cancerian, that 2024 is likely to bring you a comparable breakthrough in a labor of love you have been cultivating for a long time. And the coming months of 2023 will be key in setting the stage for that breakthrough.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Maybe you wished you cared more deeply about a certain situation. Your lack of empathy and passion may feel like a hole in your soul. If so, I have good news. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to find the missing power; to tap into the warm, wet feelings that could motivate your quest for greater connection. Here’s a good way to begin the process: Forget everything you think you know about the situation with which you want more engagement. Arrive at an empty, still point that enables you to observe the situation as if you were seeing it for the first time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You are in a phase when you’ll be wise to wrangle with puzzles and enigmas. Whether or not you come up with crisp solutions isn’t as crucial as your earnest efforts to limber up your mind. For best results, don’t worry and sweat about it; have fun! Now I’ll provide a sample riddle to get you in the mood. It’s adapted from a text by David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace. You are standing before two identical closed doors, one leading to grime and confusion, the other to revelation and joy. Before the doors stand two figures: an angel who always tells the truth and a demon who always lies. But they look alike, and you may ask only one question to help you choose what door to take. What do you do? (Possible answer: Ask either character what the other would say if you asked which door to take, then open the opposite door.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

I found a study that concluded only 6.1% of online horoscopes provide legitimate predictions. Furthermore, 62.3% of them consist of generic pabulum of no value to the recipient. I disagree with these assessments. Chani Nicholas, Michael Lutin, Susan Miller and Jessica Shepherd are a few horoscope writers whose work I find interesting. My own astrological oracles are useful, too. By the way, how can anyone have the hubris to decide which horoscopes are helpful and which are not? This is a highly subjective art, not an objective science. In the spirit of my comments here, Libra, and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you to declare independence from so-called experts and authorities who tell you what’s valid and worthwhile for you. Here’s your motto: “I’m the authoritative boss of my own truth.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Is it a fact that our bodies are made of stardust?

Absolutely true, says planetary scientist Ashley King. Nearly all the elements comprising our flesh, nerves, bones and blood were originally forged in at least one star, maybe more. Some of the stuff we are made of lived a very long time in a star that eventually exploded: a supernova. Here’s another amazing revelation about you: You are composed of atoms that have existed for almost 14 billion years. I bring these startling realities to your attention, Scorpio, in honor of the most expansive phase of your astrological cycle. You have a mandate to deepen and broaden and enlarge your understanding of who you are and where you came from.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

I foresee that August will be a time of experiments and explorations. Life will be in a generous mood, tempting and teasing you with opportunities beyond your circle of expectations. But let’s not get carried away until it makes cosmic sense to get carried away. I don’t want to urge you to embrace wild hope prematurely. Between now and the end of July, I advise you to enjoy sensible gambles and measured adventures. It’s OK to go deep and be rigorous, but save the full intensity for later.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Is there a crucial half-conscious question lurking in the underside of your mind? A smoldering doubt or muffled perplexity that’s important for you to address? I suspect there is. Now it’s time to coax it up to the surface of your awareness so you may deal with it forthrightly. You must not let it smolder there in its hiding place. Here’s the good news, Capricorn: If you bring the dilemma or confusion or worry into the full light of your consciousness, it will ultimately lead you to unexpected treasure.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In Larry McMurtry’s novel Duane’s Depressed the life of the main character has come to a standstill. He no longer enjoys his job. The fates of his kids are too complicated for him to know how to respond. He has a lot of feelings but has little skill in expressing them. At a loss about how to change his circumstances, he takes a small and basic step—he stops driving his pickup truck and instead walks everywhere he needs to go. Your current stasis is nowhere near as dire as Duane’s, Aquarius. But I do recommend you consider his approach to initiating transformation: Start small and basic.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Author K. V. Patel writes, “As children, we laugh fully with the whole body. We laugh with everything we have.” In the coming weeks, I would love for you to indulge in just that: total delight and release. I predict you will be more able than usual to summon life-affirming amusement from the depths of your soul. Furthermore, I believe you will have more reasons than ever to throw your head back and unleash yourself in rippling bursts of healing hysterical hilarity. To get started, practice chuckling, giggling and chortling for one minute right now.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. Modern cash register device

5. Based ____ true story

8. Places for mobiles

13. First word, maybe

14. Above zero: Abbr.

15. “Belle ____” (1992 Penelope Cruz film)

16. “American Idol” winner whose first name starts his last name

18. Like some castles

19. We

21. City mentioned in “Folsom Prison Blues”

22. YouTube video preceders, often

25. “I did NOT need to hear that”

26. Psychologist and coiner of the term

“identity crisis” whose first name starts his last name 28. No rocket scientist 30. Ski resort grooming vehicle 32. Org. with a prohibited-items list 33. Go ballistic 35. Having dire consequences

37. Singer/actor whose first name starts his last name

42. Espionage novelist John Le ____ 43. Big bird’s grabber 45. Factory work: Abbr.

Laughed loudly 51. One way to record a show 52. Pal of Homer Simpson whose first name starts his last name

Drips in the ER

Rower’s need

7. Org.

8. USN rank

9.

49. “I have no preference”

50. “Slavonic Dances” composer

53. Tattooed lady of song

55. Chinese-American fashion icon Anna

59. When Stanley cries “Hey, Stella!” in “A Streetcar Named Desire”

60. Get back (to)

62. Hair-raising shout

64. Stubbed digit

65. Suffix with Manhattan

66. Coral dweller

Last week’s answers

urban LIVING

Sprinkler Test

Wasatch Front ski resorts had more snowfall last winter than any other year on record. And it wasn’t just Utah—the Sierras and Colorado’s Rocky Mountains got hammered, too.

Happily, we appear to be coming out of the worst drought conditions of recent years, as lakes and reservoirs fill and rivers run high—with several feeding into the Great Salt Lake. Sailboats are back on our salty sea, and rocks are getting covered up at Lake Powell. Let’s hope we’re in store for more wet years!

The local news has educated us this past year—when the Great Salt Lake hit its lowest level ever—that most of the water in Utah is used for agriculture. Did you know our clover hay is considered almost equal to gold bullion overseas? Pricey feed!

We can’t relax our water use ever again. Global warming is real, and if the GSL goes, we will vanish, either by dying from the toxic air or by mov ing the hell out. Now, with summer officially here, people are sprinkling their lawns and landscaping helterskelter, wasting water every day.

Utah Water Savers will pay you to replace your grass with water-effi cient landscaping. When you upgrade your thirsty lawns to water-wise plants, trees and shrubs, you can earn a cash incentive plus increase your curb appeal, decrease maintenance requirements and reduce water us age—and your water bill.

Media Specialist (Draper, UT)

Plan or direct development or communication of media programs to maintain favorable public perceptions of the company’s accomplishments, agenda, or environmental responsibility. Post and update content on the company’s Web site & social media outlets. Write media communications to promote clients. 40hrs/wk, Offered wage: $37,939/year, Bachelor’s Degree in Media / Marketing or related required.

Resume to CUPBOP CO Attn: Yeiri Kim, 12184 S Business Park Dr #C, Draper, UT 84020

SUDOKU X

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

These incentives are not just for residences. If you’re connected to a municipal water system, and not in arrears, you can qualify. You must then do the prescribed upgrades within 12 months. There are rules to qualify, like plant-coverage minimums and grass-coverage maximums. Grass is also prohibited on park strips, slopes and areas less than 8-feet wide. You can get 50 cents to $3 per square foot, depending on where your water comes from (i.e., Weber Basin, Central Utah, etc.).

One of the best things you can do is a sprinkler performance test. Pick up some “catch cans” from the USU Extension Office or use a can to collect sprinkler water to measure the depth after, say, one hour of watering.

In Salt Lake County, the recommended irrigation is 0.5 inches for turfgrass. Right now, you should be watering roughly every three days until September, when it’s every six days.

To get paid to replace your grass, contact utahwatersavers.org. Project qualifications vary depending on your water district, and you must get preapproved. The website tells you how to perform your own site inspection on water use. n

WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com

NEWS of the WEIRD

BY THE EDITORS AT ANDREWS MCMEEL

Awesome!

Visitors to the Rembrandt House Museum in Amsterdam can now bring home a new, and permanent, souvenir of their visit. The Associated Press reported that tattoo artist Henk Schiffmaker and others are doing a residency within the museum called “A Poor Man’s Rembrandt,” where tourists can get inked with sketches by the famous artist. Schiffmaker calls it “highbrow to lowbrow. And it’s great that these two worlds can visit one another.” The tattoos cost between $54 and $270.

Wait, What?

Employees of Taqueria Garibaldi restaurants in northern California got an unusual—and unorthodox—perk during work hours, USA Today reported. Employees testified in court that a person who identified as a priest was called in to hear workers’ “confessions.” “The priest urged workers to ‘get their sins out’ and asked employees if they had stolen from the employer, been late for work, had done anything to harm their employer or if they had bad intentions toward their employer,” according to a release from the U.S. Department of Labor. But the Catholic Diocese of Sacramento said it could find no connection between the alleged priest and the diocese. An investigation found that the restaurants had denied overtime pay and threatened employees with retaliation, among other “sins,” and the owners were ordered to pay $140,000 in damages and back wages.

The Tech Revolution

In an office building in Durham, North Carolina, nine scientists are hard at work in Duke University’s Smart Toilet Lab, The News & Observer reported. Sonia Grego told the paper that she and her colleagues “are addressing a very serious health problem—”gut health. The toilets in the lab move poop into a specialized chamber before flushing it away. There, cameras are placed for image processing, and the resulting data can give doctors insights into a patient’s gut health. Startup Coprata is testing pilot versions of the smart toilets in a few dozen households; after the data is gathered, users can access it themselves on a smartphone app. “The knowledge of people’s bowel habits empowers individuals to make lifestyle choices that improve their gut health,” Grego said.

Insult to Injury

Mark Dicara of Lake Barrington, Illinois, allegedly shot himself in the leg on June 12 while dreaming of a home invasion, Insider reported. Dicara grabbed his .357 Magnum and fired—which instantly brought him to consciousness. There was no intruder in the home. Police found him in bed with a “significant amount of blood.” He was charged with possession of a firearm without a valid Firearm Owners Identification card and reckless discharge of a firearm.

It’s Come to This

Cedric Lodge, 55, and his wife, Denise, 63, of Goffstown, New Hampshire, were both indicted in federal court on June 14 after it was revealed that they allegedly were stealing and selling human body parts, the Associated Press reported. Lodge was the manager of the Harvard Medical School morgue until May 6, when he was fired from the position. He and his wife are accused of offering a shopping opportunity at the morgue, where buyers could pick which donated, human remains they wanted. The Lodges would then take the items home and ship them to their customers through the mail. The body parts reportedly included heads, brains, skin and bones. Three others individuals were also indicted: Katrina Maclean, 44, of Salem, Massachusetts; Joshua Taylor, 46, of West Lawn, Pennsylvania; and Mathew Lampi, 52, of East Bethel, Minnesota. Prosecutors say they were part of a nationwide network of people who buy and sell human remains. Harvard called the actions “morally reprehensible.”

Smooth Reaction

When Martin Trimble, 30, tried to rob a convenience store in Durham, England, in May, the shop owner got the best of him: He lowered the store’s steel shutter, trapping Trimble with his back half in and half out, and waited for authorities to arrive. Once Trimble realized he was pinned to the ground, Fox News reported, he popped open one of the beers he’d tried to steal and drank it as he waited to be arrested. Trimble pleaded guilty on June 16 to attempted robbery and possession of a knife and was sentenced to three years in jail.

Bright Idea

Self-pitying Belgian TikTokker David Baerten, 45, has a morbid sense of humor—or a fragile ego. According to Sky News, Baerten and his family decided to “prank” his friends by faking his own death because he felt “unappreciated” by them. The funeral, which took place in early June near Liege, drew a crowd of friends and family, who were shocked when a helicopter landed nearby and Baerten stepped out. “What I see in my family often hurts me. I never get invited to anything. Nobody sees me,” Baerten said. “That’s why I wanted to give them a life lesson.”

Weird Science

KTVX-TV reported on June 21 that snow in the mountains of Utah is turning pink, red and orange—what scientists call “watermelon snow.” Experts said the colored snow results from blooming green algae, which is found in mountain ranges. “The snow algae produce a pigment that basically darkens their cells,” said Scott Hotaling, an assistant professor at Utah State University’s department of watershed sciences. Basically, the algae turn colors to protect themselves. One young visitor said the snow turned his shoes orange. “I thought that was pretty cool,” he said.

You Had One Job

The town of Stuart, Iowa, needed a new water tower to handle its growing population, according to KCRGTV. But when residents saw the name painted on one side, they cringed. Rather than STUART, the tower was painted with START. Mayor Dick Cook called the social media attention about the misspelling “hilarious,” and the tower has been repainted.

Maybe the Dingo Did Eat Your Baby ...

On K’gari beach (formerly Fraser Island) in Australia, a 10-year-old boy was bitten and dragged under the water by a dingo on June 16, The Guardian reported. Not two weeks earlier, another dingo was euthanized after biting multiple tourists, including a French woman who was bitten on her posterior as she sunbathed. In the most recent event, the boy’s older sister rescued him, and he was treated for puncture wounds to his shoulder and arms. “These animals are capable of inflicting serious harm ... some are quite brazen and are not fleeing when yelled at or when someone brandishes a stick,” said ranger Danielle Mansfield. “Children and teenagers must be within arm’s reach of an adult at all times.”

Oops!

The Price Is Right contestant Henry Choi went home with more than a trip to Hawaii on the episode that aired on June 16, the Los Angeles Times reported. Choi threw his arms up and pumped his fists as he was called onstage, then leaped into the air and pounded his chest. Afterward, he could be seen holding his right arm and stretching it out. Later in the show, host Drew Carey explained that Choi had dislocated his shoulder, and Choi’s wife, Alice, was allowed to spin the wheel for him during the Showcase Showdown. When he won, he meekly lifted his uninjured left arm, but Alice jumped up and waved her arms. “Don’t hurt yourself,” warned Carey. Send

IHC Health Services, Inc. DBA

Intermountain Health seeks an Genetic Counselor - Pediatric Cardiology in Salt Lake City, Utah. Positions may also telecommute two days per week from Salt Lake, Davis, or Summit County Utah. To apply, go to https://imh.wd5.myworkdayjobs. com/IntermountainCareers and search for the job title or Job Number R74503 or email your resume to Mary Hansen at mary.hansen@imail. org. Applicants who fail to provide a resume and pre-screening question responses will not be considered. This position is for permanent direct hire only; applications for contract labor will not be considered.

Analytics Engineer (Health Catalyst; South Jordon, UT): Perform analyses to support client improvement initiatives across clinical, ops & fin domains. Min Req’s: Bach or equiv in IT, Math, Stats, or Business-rel field + 2 yrs exp in tech or tech-rel field + addl reqs. Telecommuting permitted from anywhere in US. Send resume to Lindsay Harris (lindsey.harris@healthcatalyst. com). Ref: 00041502. An EOE.