CU Upward Bound Speaks! Vol. 4 Cafe Cultura Speaks Project #45 Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class
CU Upward Bound Speaks! Vol. 4 Copyright Š 2017 by Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the author.
To the profound and resilient students in our Spoken Word class: Continue using your voice to help us heal and create positive social change. You are the ones we have been waiting for. #CafeCultura #XpressYourself #TellingOurStories
Acknowledgments Thank you to CU Upward Bound staff for partnering with us as we work together to create spaces for Native youth to find their strength and voice. Special thank you to the poets in our class for digging deep to find your creativity and power. In over 40 groups of students with whom we have worked, you were collectively one of the strongest. Remember: “It is our responsibility and choice to express ourselves and lift our voice, together building unity, leaders in our community. This is how we tell our stooorrrryyyy!�
Foreword It was an honor partnering with the CU Upward Bound program for our fourth year teaching Café Cultura’s “Telling Our Stories” spoken word/poetry class. Students pushed themselves to participate in insightful class discussions as we analyzed poetry and the world around us. As you can see from this collection, they wrote powerful poems that provide a glimpse into their struggles, successes, and dreams. During Café Cultura’s Art in the Park, their peers and the greater Denver community heard their strength firsthand. We look forward to staying connected, as they develop into the leaders we need. Enjoy and share their words! For those who do not know about our organization: Café Cultura is an award-winning arts, culture, and youth development organization in Denver that promotes unity and healing among Indigenous peoples through creative expression while empowering youth to find their voice, reclaim oral and written traditions, and become leaders in their communities. Café Cultura has been providing positive, creative, and engaging community spaces for the Denver metropolitan area for more than ten years. After the passing of respected elder and veteran poet Abelardo “Lalo” Delgado, we accepted responsibility to continue using our oral and written traditions to provide opportunities for creative expression often not offered in schools or in the larger community. Café Cultura also drew inspiration from the movement connecting Indigenous people from throughout the Americas. We use creative expression to unify people representing southern Indigenous nations, known by terms such as “Chicana/o” and “Latina/o,” with those Natives of northern nations, referred to as “American Indian” or “Native American.” Café Cultura hosts one of the best open mic venues in the Denver metropolitan area, and the only space focused on family and
youth. We also conduct highly engaging and culturally relevant spoken word/poetry workshops for underserved youth throughout Colorado. CafĂŠ Cultura partners with select organizations and schools to facilitate an intensive workshop series, publish youth poetry, and organize participant showcases. In an effort to develop young leaders within our community, we also coordinate a youth leadership program for Indigenous youth. If you or your organization is interested in collaborating, feel free to contact us. For more information about our open mic events, workshops, youth leadership program, and other programs: www.cafecultura.org info@cafecultura.org 720-460-9203
Table of Contents Running With My Ancestors by Hercshel ..........................................1 From Pain to Power by Mina ...............................................................2 Rise by Kameron ....................................................................................4 Beauty All Around Me by Charmiqua.................................................7 Love by Knigel .......................................................................................9 Dear Daddy by Rekiya........................................................................ 11 A Place I Belong by Christian ........................................................... 15 Keep Going by Ashley ....................................................................... 16 The Magic of Life by Ethan .............................................................. 20 As One by Angel ................................................................................. 22 Pain and Relief by Herschel ............................................................... 23 Kinaałda by Mina ................................................................................ 25 Life by Kameron ................................................................................. 26 Live Life by Charmiqua ...................................................................... 28 I Am Here by Knigel .......................................................................... 29 My Voice by Rekiya ............................................................................ 30 My Life by Christian ........................................................................... 32 Strength and Hope by Ashley ........................................................... 33 We Are One by Ethan ........................................................................ 34 Woke by Herschel ............................................................................... 35 Dig, Set, Hit by Mina .......................................................................... 36 On Life's Stage by Kameron ............................................................. 38 Give It Your All by Charmiqua ........................................................ 40
Butterfly by Rekiya .............................................................................. 42 Life is like a Game by Knigel ............................................................. 45 Letter to Self by Ashley ...................................................................... 46 Untitled by Christian ........................................................................... 49
Running With My Ancestors by Hercshel As I run from the past to the future, I will keep and run with my culture. My feathers that we use to pray and bless make it easier to heal and rest. I will run with my traditions in hand and my courage will make imprints in the sand. The only thing I will do is succeed. I may fail sometimes but I will never concede. They might look at me with disgust. The doubt of my people is something I must crush. Running with my ancestors, we will be the protesters that say Natives can be great, that failing is not our fate. I will run with my ancestors and be Native Strong to tell the world we have been here for so long.
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From Pain to Power by Mina She remembers those days like it was yesterday, the disappointment and anger caused by her parents’ yelling, all the injuries it gave her, not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Hiding behind her shield of protection with a tsunami coming down her face, she prayed for a perfect family. She found herself driving into the dead of night with her dad on an untraveled road going to an unrevealed destination. She woke up at an abandoned crack-house without her dad by her side, seeing mistreated cars and people with pain in their eyes. For so many years, she held the frustration and anger he created. One day, she stands up for her mother. All she remembers is her daddy's fist of fury charging at her face while being pushed into a tub full of fear. As she gets up, she grabs a fist full of strength,
Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class
pulling herself up from the ocean of hurtful words. She looks in the broken mirror, trying to put the pieces together with anger and disappointment, seeing her hurt soul in one of the shards of glass. She finally remembers the power that flows within her veins. She looks out the window of opportunity, seeing a bright future ahead of her. She opens the door to success, walking through with dedication, love, and strength.
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Rise by Kameron Tell me why you want to call me savage when you were the one responsible for all the massacres that happened. This all started when so-called “Columbus� came onto shore. In 1492, you were told to scalp us. If we were too powerful, you would run inside and lock your door. I feel bad for you. You set yourself up. The wrath includes the way you held us and still are on these reservations, saying you gave it to us in your form of reparation. Hell, I even feel bad saying it in your language to explain to you as a metaphor. You will figure it out if you have a brain or two. You said we were enraged with flu? To save the mood, I will ask you why you raped our women, dumbed our culture down, and enslaved us too. Anyway, let us stay on topic. I know you used Manifest Destiny to engage in profit. It is lame but awesome
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to live in this age when you want to wash our brain with authors from Texas knowing it was infected by swine flu, immigrants, and racism. Some of it still is: the ”I” word, the “N” word, and the “R” word. Dressing up like us to throw tea off the harbor? You are all wolves in sheep's clothing. You get that metaphor? Saying we were easy to colonize, but you left us dead in war. You put us through assimilation, took us from our homes when they were vacant. You tried to change our cultural ways and attitude, saying this country is something we were added to? I use my pride like a Latino, culture like an African, and body like a Native American. You are trying to save your biblical beliefs, oops, I mean your heritage. Do not get me wrong, it was all forced down our throats only to believe in a demon. I guess we fell asleep, and as we were sleeping, we were dreaming.
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But I woke up, December 29th, 1890. As soon as I open the door, BOOM! Hotchkiss guns go off. My people arose to the roar, disarmed, and disadvantaged, women, children, elders murdered. And we gave them this advantage? I get shot in the stomach and kneel to pray on my wounded knees. I die with 150 others. Know what I am explaining? This is the story of Wounded Knee. It is true to me if you could see. It was 2016 and the Black Snake awoke. But we showed collective power by coming together so what are we waiting for let’s go! Now, it is the year 2017. What I want from this is for my Native people, not only them, but along with my African American people, and my Chicano People to RISE and live a life with which we have only dreamed.
Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class
Beauty All Around Me by Charmiqua I am a strong, hard-working, and independent Dine’ woman. I am from the everyday cooking and cleaning around the house. I come from ndishchishizhodi (Pinehill, NM). The land is sacred, the land is our mother who protects us. I am surrounded by the four sacred mountains: Dibé Nitsaa, Tsisnaasjini', Tsoodzil, Doko'oosliid. I am from the tall pines, traditional ceremonies, dirt roads, cattle grazing, and bipolar weather. I am the fluffy, delicious, golden-brown fry bread. I come from the hard working hands of my shima (my mother) made with love. I come from a five day traditional ceremony that takes place in a hogan, a Kinaaldá. There, I am taught to take care of responsibilities and to work hard. I carry these lessons along with my sacred medicine, Tadiidine,
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that comes from a field of corn stalks from the Rez, my reservation. It always protects me from negativity and harm. Our way of life is our religion. Dine’ teachings remind me of who I am and how I walk in this world. Beauty is before me, above me, below me. Beauty is all around me. May you walk in beauty.
Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class
Love by Knigel Love is like a rainbow, the closer you get the more it fades. And then, it disappears. But I see an image, an old image that has again crossed my mind. I cannot get this out, for I am looking at something lost and full of doubt. Seeing you there is like looking at a night sky, beautiful and undeniable. I just want to throw a thousand dimes in an area where you used to shine so I can remember what we used to have. I wish I could restore the past and fix the contrast of what should have lasted. Love was just a word until I met you. That love is just what I needed and is what I see inside you. Then again, I remember every detail from when we meet to when you left on the medical bed. An illness attacked you and there was no cure. They had to pull the plug and your heartbeat stopped.
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That was when the place that used to shine the most was finally lost. I wish I could have given you the ability to look through my eyes and see how special you were to me. But I will always remember you for eternity.
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Dear Daddy by Rekiya Hey daddy, it is me, your daughter, lol. Did you forget that your kids exist? Or do you get too caught up with life, you do not have time to call? Last I heard, I made you cry because my voice sounded strange to you, as if my voice has the same cracks in it as the roads we drive on. Do you realize I am becoming a wonderful young lady? Or do you just figure I am? I cried last night until I could not breathe because I am stuck between whether to love you or hate you, but my heart is so kind and my mind is so cruel. Daddy, I miss you, and honestly, me saying that means getting butterflies in my stomach. It should not be that way. I feel as if my voice will become a weapon towards you, as the words that spill out of my mouth will feel like bullets that will sting your dark Indian skin. Daddy, I do not want to break your heart as you have done mine
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so many times, but you need to feel my pain. I have watched your son, my brother, and your daughter, my sister, grow up as much as you have. Kendrick has given up on you and Melody is coming of age. I do not want to give up on you. I can’t. You are my daddy and my heart will not let me kick you out. Why are you a good person but not a good father? It hurts to say that. I miss you. Can’t you just call? Don’t you want to hear our voices? I miss going fishing with you. You have missed so much daddy. I have started singing out more. But it hurts to know that my chorus teacher knows what my voice is capable of doing but my own father does not. You say you are proud of me but you do not know me that well. But hey, look at the bright side: I am using my own voice to say how I feel besides someone assuming I am okay or something is wrong. Daddy, I want you to know that someday I will forgive you.
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I pray you get to hear me sing my lungs out and tell me that you are proud. Currently, I am lost in the moment of whether I should call or text you, or just wait for you to do so. I tell myself I will be okay for being afraid to say, “Daddy, I love you,” as these words slide down out my mouth like drool from a baby’s mouth, like them saying their first words feels as if I am saying mine to you at 16. But for a fact, I know that is not true, because I have talked to you so many times before. Why do I feel as if I am the only one who has faith in you? I want to go back to laughing at your jokes, hearing you say how proud you are of me. You may hear this poem one day or you may not. These words come together like a group of fish trying to get the little pieces of food that strangers throw at them, as I try to say how I feel. It may make you cry a whole ocean. But daddy, I love you. I will always be your little girl, even though I am not little anymore. I will pretend to be,
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as I crawl into your lap and sing these words: “Father, I'm going to say thank you, even if I am still hurt. Oh, I am going to say bless you, I want to mean those words. I always wish you the best. I, I prayed for your peace even if you started this, this whole war in me. You did your best or did you? Sometimes, I think I hate you. I am sorry, dad, for feeling this way. I cannot believe I am saying it, I know you were a troubled man.� Daddy, I know as I sing this you are not going to understand why I sang this in the first place. But daddy, just know I love you with all my heart forever and always. Your Daughter, Rekiya
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A Place I Belong by Christian Life is like planting a garden. You are given a piece of land that maybe is not the best soil. If you put in time and hard work, it will get better. You need to plant a seed that you do not know what it will grow into. I was given life. I have had to put in work so that my life could grow. But what I grew in my garden they did not want me to grow. So they tried to take away my life, put me in a cage with artificial lights. I do not know if they saved me or were playing sick games with me. I was in a dark place, a storm coming down on me, drowning me in pain and guilt. They pulled me from the ground carefully putting me in a safe place that was a cage. Before that, I was in a free place with no boundaries set on me. But now, as I look across from my cell, I see a natural free place where I belong. So I start picking myself up from the dirt and break down the steel bars. I start to leave behind the dark place choosing instead one of natural beauty.
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Keep Going by Ashley I lace up my navy blue shoes not knowing which way the knot should go. I am reminded to keep them tight and close. I remember when she said, “I never want to lose you Ash.� I didn't either. But those words were not there that night. You were my friend and I was yours. We were supposed to stick together like glue and paper. Then again, that falls apart as well. I slowly jog to the starting point, looking to the sides, glancing to see if you guys came. I should have known you would never show. Dad, I wanted you to listen. Sister, I wanted you to wait. Friends, I thought you supported me. When it came time for you to show, where were you? I lean down, pushing my feet to the line, waiting, listening. Then, pffft!
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Is this the moment to realize I need to leave on my own? I push off on my way, concentrating on my footsteps. The breeze flows across my face, the wind whispering in my ear, but I cannot understand what it is trying to tell me. I feel someone nudge me on my right side. I look and there she is. “I do not want to compete with you,� I tell her. She brushes it off her shoulder. I speed up, pacing faster and faster. I pass her and feel like number one. Nope! I should have known that you would never leave things in the past where they are supposed to be. You are a stubborn person who does not care. You are my stepmom. I tried my best not to compete with you, but I am done trying. You pushed away my life, my family, and my friends. Now, I know I am going to conquer you. When I think things between us are over, it turns out this is just the beginning. In front of me is a long black pavement, dips here and there.
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Without noticing, I step into one, pulling me down and down. I try to stand but I cannot because I am alone. Darkness surrounds me. I think this is the end. I push one foot out and pull myself up, teaching, telling me I need to get myself out of this situation. If I want to leave, I need to do it myself. At the end of this race, I want to be the one who pushed myself to find my own way. I brush off hatred, confusion, and frustration, seeing it land on the gravel. I push myself Up! Up! Up! Encouragement goes through my mind, sweat dripping. I look up and keep running. This is not the end. Pebbles crackle under my feet. The smell of green grass, wanting me to stop and pick it up,
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maybe a puff or two. Instead, I keep running. Rain and thunder arise above me. Today is just a day. There will be another tomorrow. The sun is behind those clouds. I cannot wait until it comes back out. I am not going to keep living the same day. If I just keep going, then no one will stand in my way.
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The Magic of Life by Ethan When my brother showed me the way to control the cards I have been given, I felt accomplished. I felt like I could do anything. But most of all, I felt like a magician. But that simply was not the case. You have to practice and remember, go through each step to achieve success. After reaching perfection, you need to learn one more trick. You have to keep your wildfire of feelings from getting out of hand, or your heart will burst, and everything you practiced on will be consumed. If you can control the fire within you, just as your cards, you can do unimaginable things. Make a card find its way out of its enclosed box,
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and watch as people brighten up with unbelievable reactions, for they have seen the impossible. Life is filled with mystery. The map to your goals is already laid out, but cannot be seen. Your skills and control can determine your success. It is easy to be misdirected but it is all part of the magic in life, and will sometime lead to the best trick of all: Doing the impossible.
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As One by Angel I am New Mexico, windy and dusty. Sometimes, I wish I never did graffiti, spray painting my imagination and representing Navajo pride. Racism is around the world. I just want peace and equality spread like peanut butter and jam on bread. I stand tall and strong. I am the Chief coming from mountains to provide rivers and land, giving people my hands. Each of my feathers defines who I am, holding spears to defend my people. Together, we are strong and stand as one.
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Pain and Relief by Herschel She says, “Go ahead and call me a coward, say I am not strong because I am not like you. Go ahead and call me crazy because I live in a maze. Tell me how about you?� She lives in her head, sometimes she thinks she is dead. She lives behind her youth. She has been losing her mind, falling behind. Step inside her shoes. She needs some love, her pains above shadowing her like a dark cloud. She does not have a clue. She is not proud of what she is about to do. But she is remembering her family and friends. She remembers them, the many embodiments of love and care. They told her she matters, which was rare. She can teach, educate, and inspire. She is struggling to believe but she will try. She wants to feel better. To do this, she will put her pain into every story, paragraph,
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sentence, letter. Writing puts the pain in a form she controls. She can move it around into words that do not hurt. She can make relief from how the story unfolds. This will help her every single excerpt. Not only will this help her but her community, and possibly the world.
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Kinaałda by Mina In an old house is where it all started, surrounded by tall pine trees, sacred animals, and bumpy roads. 4 mornings I spent waking up with the sun and birds, 3 nights feeling worn out, like a pair of moccasins. 2 people join me to serve traditional food: mutton, greasy fry bread, and blue corn mush, a sweet, blue mushy food bringing everyone together coming from the past, present, and future. Each healthy spoonful is filled with hard work, love, and determination to make it perfect. 1 medicine bag of corn pollen from the strength of my ancestors, grown in the tall yellow fields on stalks that look down on you. It lets the Holy Ones protect us like shima, my mother, my hulk, my strength. I carry this power within me.
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Life by Kameron I will never forget the meatloaf that is served with open arms of love and passion. I am the bread crumbs that make my outside crunchy and the meat that makes my inside chewy when you bite deep enough. The original recipe came from my mother, using it when she was alive. I am the sauce that you use on your steak to make life taste better and not as plain. I am the object that helps me spread a message. You can speak on the roughness and grip the smooth handle. It helps me look back at my dead reflections when I laid sick of booze and dope. I will always remember Grandma’s teachings as they take over life and all its aspects. I am the beautiful landscapes, peaceful tumbleweed, and dirt roads. I come from the ground and all its allies. I will never deny the comfort of a place I have known for so long. I come from a peaceful night blessing us
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with the understandings of our culture, thinking of the times I inhaled smoke and tried to find myself at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. I regret it deeply. Then all becomes clear as I sit staring at the fire with respect. Life is to be cherished. Then, I take another palm of the bitterness, the bitterness of reality, as it drifts me out on the ocean called “LIFE.� He is the lightning of the storm, hitting hard against the floor. He is the embedded roots in the ground, that is where I come from. His simple words turn into action and wisdom. He is the person with the crown sitting at the top of the kingdom, steadily fighting, climbing, and building his career. Who am I identifying? Let’s just say I looked in the mirror.
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Live Life by Charmiqua Life is full of struggles and pain. Choices and wrong turns are made. People are loved and hearts are broken. Happiness and sadness are felt by all. It changes every second of the day. Every day is a new beginning. Focus on the good in life, not the bad. Capture the good moments. Living is a such a beautiful blessing. For some, it is easy from the start. Some work hard at it. Master life, one step at a time, no matter how we all must live it. Live life the happiest as can be. Never give up. Live your dreams to the fullest. Reach for the stars. Strive for greatness.
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I Am Here by Knigel I am a strong, hard working person with a fire on the inside that will never die out. I am an inspiration, motivation to many people. I bring out emotions from the people, sparking them with creativity. I come from many centuries of untold, unwritten stories. I will never step down and let my community frown. I am native strong and that is my only sound, rising up straight from the ground. My ancestors did not fight for me to be here and waste my time. I am here to show you what is on my mind, to change society and the bad people’s state of mind. I am here to stop stereotypes and the trespassing on Native American lands, showing the world what Indigenous people have.
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My Voice by Rekiya You see, life is not perfect, well at least mine is not. As I was a small child, I felt as if my mama and daddy were in a boxing ring. They had matches against one another every day. But I felt as if I was the one getting hit. All the words soaring through my ears were like jabs in the face. They were like hands around my neck, telling me it will be alright. I realized my mother was the champion, overruling my father. She won the match. She fought in front of me and my siblings and made sure it was the last one to start something new, like planting a weeping willow. She planted a new seed for a new beginning. But while growing, it has been hard. The leaves fall as my mental stage crashes and my heart breaks. The darkness shines all around and the weeping willow became sad. It could not grow. He was stuck in time, as I was. Year after year went by and all I saw was beauty. It was like I was living within an art canvas
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painted just for me. It was the closest thing to a beautiful perfect life. Becoming older I have noticed that other than my mama and family, the world is not only evil but also a beautiful wonderful work of art. So within my canvas was a boxing ring along with the big and now beautiful weeping willow painted with all the right colors that tell my story. But you see, my story is nowhere close to being finished. I am a rising junior and only have two years until I get my diploma with black and gold letters to add to my accomplishments. You see my voice is mine and with it I will rise and become something better, someone better. My patients will depend on me soon as I tend to them with all the care, love, and happiness because I know what it is like to feel broken. But we will rise together, you see, even if my heart beat has to become theirs.
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My Life by Christian I come from the big city of Salt Lake but live in the small town of Blanding now. I will always remember the warm summer nights cruising, loud music being played while we ran around. We heard the sounds of guns being popped off, most likely with serial numbers scratched off. I will always remember being a suspect for the cops because I hung around the wrong people. I am the wonderful, greasy frybread that my mom makes with flour, baking powder, salt, water, and love. I come from hands that raised three children alone and the beautiful face that created me. She is the light at the end of the tunnel. She came from a mother who I never met. Her beautiful long hair reminds me of roots connecting to me.
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Strength and Hope by Ashley I am a Dine’ woman. I come from father sky and mother earth. I look in the mirror and see beauty, with scars that tell my story. I am a Dine’ woman. I am open-minded, full of strength, a unique Indian who has yet to find her way. I come from a dry desert, blue skies nearly every day, a place no one knows about. Blanding is where I tell my story. I will always remember the smell of burning sage, even whenever bad dreams kept coming. I am a unique Navajo woman who is still reaching for hope and holding onto strength. I look into the sky, trying so hard not to say goodbye. It is like there is still hope. But I swear, how long can I keep holding onto this burning rope? Embracing love, anger, and sadness, all I want is the eyes to see, the strength to understand, and the hope to move on.
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We Are One by Ethan I will always remember dancing as one around the plaza with the heartbeat of the drum deep and loud, the sound of each step like thunder, along with the ringing of shiny bells. The burning hot sun tests our determination, each voice working together, piercing the sky like lightning, all to reach one goal: to prove we are one with all life.
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Woke by Herschel I wake up to life with open eyes, a thinking mind. My mind awakes in strife, laziness being the stress that keeps me bound to bed. Sometimes, I cannot deal with being awake, the expectation to be good, better, the best. If I go back to sleep, I am putting it all at stake. This is all too much, I need some rest. I do this for my family, friends, and people. I need to wake up from my dreams and make them become a reality. I need to sit up and climb this steep hill, though it may be extreme. I must open my eyes waking from my subconscious, to be conscious/conscience and aware of my dream. I need to work and promise that I can wake up and matter, making sure to use my hands and climb that ladder of sheets, and stand. I will get up today. I do not know how but I am going to find a way.
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Dig, Set, Hit by Mina All the years, months, days, hours, minutes, seconds of practice for this game. It is time to play. I put on my jersey to start my journey to win, running out to an unpredictable game. The first serve, I dig, a perfect pass. I have everything under control. Then, an unexpected hit comes down on me, too surprising for me to dig. He packs and leaves without an explanation. All the memories of him slammed me to the floor: taking me to all those crack houses, coming home with drugs, and putting my mom through fights. There were days I did not recognize her, with a black eye caused by anger and jealousy, the imprints of death wrapped around her neck. I get back on my feet feeling stronger, ready to play again. My team tells me,
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“You will get the next one.” “Do not get hard on yourself.” We start setting plays, dig, set, hit. It seemed like countless waves of problems were coming down on me, left and right. Those were the times when my mind was absent, slowly opening up my window, walking into those regrettable nights, trying to wash my problems away with the wrong group of people. The momentum was on the enemy’s side. The most powerful hit I have ever felt came straight at my chest, looking down at my older brother's grave, standing there shocked and feeling powerless. The pain in my chest was unbearable. Silence was my only comfort. I finished playing the first intense set. I cannot give up. My team is counting on me. I finally revive the plays we made, turning my game around. My team and audience encourage me to do better, overcoming all my physical, mental, and emotional injuries. The second set is still in the process of winning or losing. The third set has not been written yet. But I will not lose this game. I will make them and me proud.
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On Life's Stage by Kameron As I pick up my destiny, what would come next: the enragement, rearrangements for your thoughts like entertainment, just to see me famous? It is not that simple. I wait backstage, drowning in my problems. I need air, and that is the only way to solve them. I take advice from encouragement as they chant my name, thinking of the times a family member slapped my brain. It drove me insane. But that is just another mental illness that involves the pain, not only my mind, but my spirit. Only certain people have V.I.P. tickets to see what it is like. But I mistakenly treat them wrong, just take a picture, sign something, and send them off. Voices in my head tell me I cannot do it. But they all seem to quiet down when listening to my music. I cover up my problems with gauze, and tape them to my skin, so they hold as I walk out and try to create a facade. I look at the living light of life
Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class
as it blinded me, a little irony. I then look down at all my accomplishments. As they wave, I look back and see all of my personal demons. For me, this is my cancer and they are my treatment, and vice-versa. I flip the script as you script the flip and how it should be done, professional, amateur. It all comes into one. So you can stand there and judge me. If you think you have a better way of living, then come up and show me. Trust me, it will do damage to me but to you, it will not hurt. Just know I do this daily, and it has become part of my personal culture.
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Give It Your All by Charmiqua I am the one who loves and believes in the game. Basketball is my love, desire, and passion. Your team becomes your family. The ball becomes your best friend. The court becomes your home. The game becomes your life. Wear your jersey number with pride and confidence. Overcome your fears and fight hard against competition. Regardless of missing multiple shots, you must keep shooting. Practice and try harder to get better. As you dribble your way through the court, dribble your way through the obstacles, hard times, and struggles. As the buzzer ticks, so does your time on Earth. So enjoy every minute of it. You can score a lot. You could lose easily, and you can quit. You have to make the right choice. Focus on the game as if it were your main goal in life. Do not run away from challenges, run over them. Know what you are doing.
Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class
(Should I go left or right?) Know your next move. Treat every loss and missed shot as a failure/mistake, and learn from it. Pain will only last for a while, so keep pushing yourself and do not give up. Give it your all (blood sweat and tears). Dedicate yourself to the game. Nobody said the game would be easy, so just work hard. Follow through victoriously, as you follow the path that guides you to a successful and happy life in the future. So live life and love the game.
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Butterfly by Rekiya You have laid underneath the dirt and soil so long, 7 years to be exact. Is it bad to still feel guilty that you are gone? I still blame myself for not asking if you could stay with us. If only we would have held on tighter, you would still be here with us today, alive and healthy. I hold you in my heart and you do not understand that you were my garden. When I saw it for myself, at how cold, blue, and stiff you were, my garden died too soon. But within my garden today, I see these beautiful butterflies, and they remind me of you. But still, it is the thought of me not being able to hear your voice, or see your smile that also hurts me so much. But little did I know that God sent an image of you in my little sister. So after all, I did get to see you grow up. Sister, sister: it is so beautiful
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sitting here with you. It is like a dream come true. Not wanting to be a big sister was crazy of me. You are my human heart and I would do anything for you. Sister, oh sister: you taught me how to be myself and not feel embarrassed. You will forever be my little sister, and that is a beautiful thing. You helped me get where I need to go without getting lost. Sister, sister: can’t you see what you do empowers me? My love for you cannot be put in words but I hope you see and feel it every day. Sister, oh sister: take care of me when I get old as I have taken care of you when you were young. I am a butterfly, and just like it too. I have not always been this beautiful. You see, people do not realize that butterflies go through stages, just like humans. They start off as caterpillars,
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living their lives on the tropical forest floors, wishing only to stay alive, fly upward, and explore. But little did you know, us humans wish the same but only we cannot fly. I said, we cannot fly. But caterpillars say otherwise, growing and growing, becoming something so rare and so beautiful but yet so free that at times, us humans cannot even find. We are still on the tropical forest floors because someone told us that we could not go anywhere else. We all want to be the same, that is why we have chains on our wings. We cannot fly upward and explore while being too busy being someone that we are not. I repeat we cannot fly. No, you see that is b.s. because we can fly, we just have the choice to sit on the cold forest floor, just as the caterpillars did. Or we can become something rare and beautiful, just as the butterfly chooses to do.
Students in Telling Our Stories Spoken Word Class
Life is like a Game by Knigel It was all a dream: I woke up dried up on my bed stand with a game controller in my hand and my TV saying, “Wake up man.” A video game is like life, one mission with unlimited lives, one goal with infinite tries. Defeating a boss or completing a mission is like getting through a tough “competition.” So, do not let an opportunity pass you by because an opportunity is like getting an extra life in a videogame or getting a jumpstart in reality. The only thing that can stop you, is you! So, do not stop trying when you have nothing to lose. It is not about how you start. It is about how you finish. So, do not start crying when you did not try. Do not quit when you have not finished. Even when there will always be someone better than you, push through.
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Letter to Self by Ashley Dear 26 year-old self, I remember… That’s it, I do not remember. Looking through my eyes, I see shattered pieces everywhere. There was not a time I remember this life fitting together like a puzzle. Let’s start when I was seven years old. At that time, my heart, that could fit inside my palm, was being crushed. We were falling apart. I was not going to let this happen. Together, we were living day by day. Do you remember that? I am twelve now, still feeling that pain, six years since we saw mom. Do not let that stop you. Keep going. You may be reading this letter when you are old, but do not let this change you. Whoever you are now, I want you to know I am proud. You are on your way! Sixteen now! Man!
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We have been through so much including that mistake you made yesterday, a year ago, and before that. As we keep taking each step further, let it slide off, into the ground not having to worry. I really hoped you joined the Air Force, flying, living to the fullest every day. I hope you enjoyed your four year mission. What about that one person who said he would stay by your side? Is he still there? Even if he is not, you never needed him in the first place. Now, it is just another pebble that did not stop you from moving on. You have made it this far, so why stop? Hopefully you have seen mom, met her and told her I said, “Hey.” Did she see you on your 22nd birthday when you got back? No? That’s alright. It’s not your fault that she never tried contacting you. It’s okay. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be angry.
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Just know: if you keep holding this burning stone, you are just going to keep damaging yourself. Ever think to just let it go? That is what we will do together. We succeeded. You have moved on from the past. Now is the time to plan for your future. It may not be ready yet, but just know I will be there to help you out. Sincerely your homie, Ashley Kate Begaye
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Untitled by Christian My brain feels overwhelmed. I cannot focus. Some days I do not feel like I am living, just surviving, feeling like every day is the same thing. My days become a blur. The back of my eyes are starting to hurt. It feels like too much is on my mind. Depression is overwhelming me, creeping up on me, trying to kill me. I am in a dark place in my mind and I cannot find the light. I am cutting out my heart, so I am heartless. They want to call me a savage, let it be. I am losing faith in humanity. If you were in my shoes, you would want to say forget the government and rebel just like me. But in reality, if you were in my shoes, they would not fit. Inspiration is what they tell me to pass along, but I am a little bitter. I just want to talk and say what I want to say.
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