JUNE/JULY 2017 EDITION
MAGAZINE
KIMBERLEY WASHINGTON
#KEMCENTS IS MAKING CHANGE!
ASHLEY NORTH PG.20 CONFIDENCE IS YOUR BEST ACCESSORY ALI LEVINE INSIDE: Â BEING COURAGEOUS, FEARLESS, VICTORIOUS, WHILE MOVING FORWARD!
TABLE OF CONTENTS 04 GO GIRL!
MORE MUSIC
BY DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON
CELEBRITY STYLISTS WITH THE PASSION FOR THE EVERYDAY WOMAN
17 DR. E
EMPOWERMENT THROUGH EDUCATION
ALI LEVINE
BYÂ DAPHNE HENRY
ASHLEY NORTH
09
REMAINING RELEVANT
22
KEM CENTS IS MAKING CHANGE
just ENOUGH
SHARONDA www.sharondagrandberry.com
"Feeling like I wasn't good enough because I wasn't thin enough or light enough is a thing of the past. I've risen past society's voice because my dark skin and plus size body are just ENOUGH!"
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
PAGE 4
MOVING BEYOND
GOAL-SETTING TO GOAL-GETTING, PT 2 Written by: Dr. Cherita Weatherspoon
Greetings, Powerful Women! Here we are in our second installment of the 5-part series Moving Beyond Goal-Setting to Goal-Getting. In the last issue, we took a second-quarter check on where we were with accomplishing the goals, commitments, and resolutions we set for ourselves for 2017 and I challenged those who had not made the progress they desired to GO -to move forward without delay. I shared two strategies that will get you moving purposefully towards your goals. If you missed that article, be sure to check out the April/May edition. But, here’s a quick recap before we jump into the next two strategies.
The Get Over Strategy is one based on the concept of freedom. You cannot be free to be who you were created to be if you are burdened with emotional baggage. You cannot be free to fully enjoy your accomplishments when there is lingering doubt, fear, hurt and anger. Emotions take up space in your life. Decide to only give space to that which is positive, encouraging, edifying, inspirational and
COACHCHERITA
motivational; and to that which
The Get On Strategy is making the decision to move forward in your life and destroying the power that the past has had in designing your future. Are there lessons to be learned from the past? Absolutely! The lesson, however, is never to stop trying, stop taking risks, stop dreaming, or stop living. Wisdom gained is wisdom utilized. Learn the lesson, become better, stronger and more powerful because of it, then Get On with living your life.
brings you joy.
After making the decision to move forward, you must be committed to acting on the things you want to experience in your life. You must immerse yourself in it. You must Get Obsessed. Is it possible to emphasize the two strategies the first time they are mentioned: Get Obsessed and Give Out? Your goals, your dreams, and your desires will never become a reality if you don’t make them a priority. Working on your goals must become as necessary to your existence as food. It should be physically and emotionally disturbing to you if you go days without making progress on your goals, talking about it, or envisioning what life will be like once you accomplish it. Do you know what it’s like when you first fall in love? All you think about is the other person. All you talk about is the other person. The only one you want to spend time with is the other person. Being actively committed to what you desire in life is the same way. You can’t wait to get back to working on it. You can’t wait to tell someone what you accomplished. And, you are most excited and at your best when you are involved in it. So, Get Obsessed. The more of your time, energy, effort, and resources you focus on your goals the more quickly you will see the manifestation of your desires in your life. Now, say it aloud, “Get Obsessed!” With this strategy, we’re going to switch gears and focus externally. Give Out is about acknowledging that no one finds success on their own and that in your willingness to give from your abundance, your skills, or your knowledge, you will in return receive from others in a way that will help you accomplish what you desire. Now, that help may not come from the same people you help and it may not return to you in the same way you gave it; but when you are willing to share what God has blessed you with, you will find that more is shared with you. Seek out opportunities to volunteer your time, to teach someone who wants to learn a skill that you have, or simply to be available for someone when they need you. Don’t concern yourself with competition. There are plenty of opportunities available and more than enough business to go around. Avoid being stingy; you don’t want to find yourself on the receiving side of stinginess. When you give, give your best. Be effective, intentional, and impactful by giving from your areas of strength. Don’t offer to help in any way that you can. Offer to help in the best way that you can. Find ways to sow into the vision, hopes, and dreams of others and look for it to return to you in good measure. Say it with me, “Get Obsessed!”
In the next issue, we’ll look at two additional strategies in the process to create the life you desire. If you can’t wait until then, pick up your copy of GO! 10 Powerful Steps to Accomplishing Your Goals & Living the Life You Desire at www.GO10Steps.com.
CASUAL CHIC By Mary Byrd Curlybyrdie
TSHIRT DESIGNED BY: WWW.KAANSDESIGNS.COM
It’s the time of year when I find myself involved in more outdoor sporting activities, and that raises the question of how I can be casual and cute without a lot of effort. I am in my 40’s, but Mama still wants to look a little hip.
Ladies, we all require options for the kind of life we live. So, I decided to create two looks for attending baseball games with the kids during the day and a date night with the honey.
MAMA CHIC I would totally wear this look when taking the kids to a game or maybe watching my son play on the field. I just love a ponytail with a baseball cap. It`s just so old school Janet Jackson. Add some classic hoops, a cute screen tee and some on-trend jeans, and there you have it! Oh, let's not forget about comfy shoes like these wedge sneakers which are so on trend right now. Finally, Mama is ready for game time.
DATE NIGHT You may find yourself heading out to an evening game with your hubby, and you want to look put together but with a little bit of sass; because after all, it is date night. This look would also be perfect for a sporty girls night out. I went with another super cute tee with some extreme fringe jeans, but this time I added cute heels. I wanted a little edge, so I added an olive green bomber jacket. If you want to make the look a little sexier,
DATE NIGHT
MAMA CHIC
instead of the graphic tee try wearing a lace top.
Ladies two different looks with minimal effort and very affordable!
PAGE 5
PAGE 6 Most women entrepreneurs are somewhat obsessed with the questions: “How do I become more visible? Will people recognize my difference? How can I shine in the marketplace?”
Creating a successful business demands that you find many ways to be more visible and viable. That means communicating your core message across everything that you do, visually,
BEING VISIBLE IN A BUSY
MARKETPLACE By Darieth Chisolm Visibility and Media Coaching Specialist | TV Host | Author | Speaker | Coach Photo by Erik McKay
verbally, in print and online.
BRING PEOPLE TO YOUR WORLD
The journey to becoming more visible is
If you are struggling to share a unique
special; however, it can also be
message that truly represents who you
intimidating. Discovering my unique brand
are and what you have to offer, look at
was my biggest blind spot for a long time;
what you’re doing during the week and
primarily because my name and face
on the weekends, and think about how
were connected to the 10 and 11 o’clock
you can bring it all into your business. You
news at WPXI in Pittsburgh for over 20
don’t always have to post and tweet
years. After I quit to launch my businesses,
about your product or service. Every once
there were times I felt lost with no vision
in while, show folks what you’re cooking
for them, and I regularly compared myself
for dinner, the new pair of shoes you
to others.
bought or family photos from vacation. Being visible is not about being perfect;
I must tell you that visibility is more of a journey of self-discovery. It is more than doing Facebook lives and fancy photo
it’s about being authentic.
TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR
shoots. Visibility is an inside job. For most
You don’t have to wait until you whiten your
women, it doesn’t happen overnight, but
teeth or lose 20 pounds for you to be more
it comes through a process of peeling
visible. You just need to be the best that you
back the layers and exposing who you
are right now.
are at your core. Hair and makeup, wardrobe and jewelry are To help you design a life and business you can feel empowered by, I’m sharing what I have learned along my journey and some steps I help my coaching clients through to become more visible in
essential parts of how we present ourselves through videos, broadcasts, graphics, and social posts -and they are important to marketing, but you don’t have to spend a ton of money to look good.
the crowded marketplace and attract their ideal clients and customers.
Having clarity on what works for you will
LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE
streamline your shopping process and give
It may be tempting to hide, play small, stay
recommend choosing wardrobe stylists, hair
out of the spotlight and not speak up, but this
and make-up experts, especially for events
will get you nowhere. You not only limit your
and photo shoots. Find someone you feel
exposure, you also limit your potential. When
comfortable with who can give you the best
you choose to shine, bringing that inner glow
version of yourself.
you greater confidence in your look. I also
to life, you attract others who are drawn to your light. Personal development is key to this.
My hope is that you’ll have an easier time
Doing the internal work to silence the voice
becoming more visible on your way to being
that sings doubt, worry, and fear in your ear is
iconic and identifiable. All in all, the most
crucial to you pulling the curtains back and
important part of being visible is to remember
stepping onto the stage to shine. Spending
that you are one of a kind. No one in the
time, reading, praying, meditating and
history of the world has ever been you. So
journaling are all steps to discovering your
step out, shine bright, fail forward, be
true, confident self.
vulnerable, take risks, make mistakes and, most of all, be proud of yourself for being who
DARIETHCHISOLM
you are.
7 | PUBLIC SPEAKING
19
Sculpture created by artist Arturo Di Modica (Charging bull) and Kristen Visbal (Fearless Girl)
FEARLESSLY SPEAKING WRITTEN BY LYNNETTE M. ROGERS
You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. — Lee Lacocca
I don’t know if you’ve heard this or not, but let me tell you the honest TRUTH. There is one skill set most hiring managers,
LYNNETTE ROGERS
employers, and entrepreneurs all seem to agree with people apart when they are job searching, interviewing, looking for career advancement or building strong relationships. That is the ability to communicate effectively.
What exactly does “communicate effectively” mean? If you are speaking in an impromptu setting or giving a prepared speech, it is having the capability to organize and gather your thoughts and ideas whenever you speak. It also means having the ability to effectively deliver your message using the proper communication techniques such as eye contact, body language, and vocal variety, just to name a few.
Growing up, I simply didn’t understand how critical it was for me to develop and improve my interpersonal communication skills. I was articulate and smart. However, I was very shy and did not have a lot of self-confidence. I received very good grades in school, and I was able to maneuver and get out of actively participating in many class discussions or presentations without impacting my overall grade. However, I did notice that there were several students who were very assertive, confident and extroverts who were not necessarily as “book smart” as I was, but they were afforded many more opportunities than me because I conveniently hid in the shadows. In all truth and honesty, I WAS TERRIFIED of public speaking and to my surprise, I was not alone. Some surveys and research results show that most people would rather die instead of talking in front of a live audience.
Take a moment and think about how important communication is. Communication is the way we share our feelings and ideas with others, whether it’s through writing, verbally, or through interpersonal communication. Through communicating, we learn about the world, we teach, make friends, and make decisions. If we are unable to communicate effectively and express ourselves in an organized way, our messages may be misconstrued.
In our society, it is now the norm to send 140-character tweets and use our fancy smartphones and gadgets to communicate with each other. Important questions need to be answered, however: Can the same people speak confidently, with intelligence, and convey their messages to all kinds of audiences? Are they able to influence an audience or do they have the ability to pitch an idea to others who could assist them with the implementation of their visions or goals? Can they think on their feet and speak extemporaneously? Can they nail an impromptu talk or an interview? Do they have selfconfidence?
Here is a myth that I would like to bust. People are not born effective and great communicators. It takes practice to be an effective and clear communicator. You can practice by taking a public speaking class. A class, training or coaching will give you the chance to practice putting your thoughts and ideas into words. It’s true that getting up in front of a group of people can be very scary and intimidating for many people, however, once the person overcomes their fears they ultimately feel a boost in self-confidence and begin to feel a great sense of pride resulting in their desire to want to do it more and more.
I realize that having the ability to communicate effectively will benefit me for the rest of my life. Once I understood this, I began to get intentional about improving this skill and overcame my fear of public speaking. I am passionate about helping others find their voice and to speak fearlessly. Remember, communication is the act of transferring information from one place to another for the purpose of creating a shared understanding. Stay tuned for information, suggestions, and tips that will help you become an effective communicator, strengthen your interpersonal communication and build connections.
COLOR YOUR WORLD
IT'S ONLY PAINT! TYNETTA T. BROWN
BARBARA A. WARREN OWNER OF SOLES BY WARREN
When did you discover your MORE? I found my MORE when I relieved myself from a long standing marriage with three sons to nurture into adulthood, I was afraid, unprepared, and unskilled, but I stepped out on faith in God, myself, and from three children who had not idea they were my MORE. I wanted to provide a template of the type of wife they would choose one day. What would you say to inspire other women? Don't limit your dreams. Find your passion. The fountain of hope should never be empty.
Be adventurous! Live out loud! But don't buy a new outfit or change your hair color. Try something new and express yourself by painting a wall or an entire room instead. Many of my previous interior design clients were hesitant when it came time to “banish the bland” and consider a subtle or dramatic and often much-needed color change. My response would always be, “it’s only paint.” Today, there are so many ways to try color without being fully or permanently committed. Tiptoe into your local paint store, armed with any number of helpful tricks from the design trade to launch your interior color adventure. Buy a few paint samples available at most home improvement stores and live with them for a few days. Then dive right in, go deep with what looks and feels good in your space. Color adventures can be very liberating and therapeutic and give you a sense of boldness, serenity, and confidence. All the while setting the stage for achieving MORE. Your color personality in your home environment makes a statement to the world without saying a word. Establishing your color adventure in your “Diva Den,” “Mom Cave,” home office, bath or bedroom sanctuary is synonymous with laying out your plans to continue to become MORE in the environments you create. Entering a colorful, yet calming office space can only encourage, motivate and inspire you to relax and focus on the tasks at hand.
Does your current color scheme provoke deep thought or relieve stress when you are trying to meet a deadline or cheer you up after a hectic day at work or out with the kids? If not, you need color in your world, and you may need to go on that color adventure ASAP. For that feeling of power and to spark some energy, put a little red in your life. My home and work office spaces have always been decorated or colored with red. Does your space need to be brighter, soothing and feel refreshed? Then the peace from shades of blue is just for you. Pastels will bring on a feeling of comfort and a sense of calm to your space so you can relax. Color can change a room size visually, pull it together decoratively and empower you mentally.
VISIT SOLES BY WARREN 28871 Agoura Rd. Agoura Hills, CA 91301 818.991.5579 M-SAT 10A-6P
While it’s nice to follow the color trends of 2018 or get the advice of a design pro, what usually works best is the color scheme that you find the deepest affinity for, that makes you feel like nothing can stand in your way to handle any challenge or opportunity that comes before you. Your assignment is to be brave and make a change in your environment and see it as an opportunity to be in a comfortable space that speaks to the many dimensions of you, your goals and aspirations and excitement about what’s to come. Your fear or hesitancy when it comes to color should be the least of obstacles to becoming a Woman of MORE. WWW.WOMENOFMORE.COM • ART
&
DESIGN
| 8
REMAINING RELEVANT IN THE BY DAPHNE HENRY
21
ST
CENTURY
As relevant Golden Circle Women, we must proactively take steps that will ensure relevant thinking. Below are three recommendations for maintaining a “healthy state” of relevant thinking. The phrase “Change is the only Constant” has never been truer than
1. Intentionally select pertinent resources to receive
it is today and this constant change is impacting every area of our
information that links to your goals and dreams. Information
lives, especially in the way we send and receive information. This
should be viewed as seeds. When planted into our minds,
exponential rate of change is largely due to recent technological
these seeds take root and then blossom into thoughts.
advancements. In the past ten years, computer processing speeds have doubled, and internet usage has surpassed most people’s initial
2. Relinquish sources that do not provide information that
expectations. With one cell phone button or one mouse click,
aligns with your goals. Irrelevant information distracts from
information is instantly disseminated to people around the world and
goal attainment which inevitably leads to complacency.
can be sent from anywhere at any time. Due to the increasing rate of change, it has become increasingly important to be intentional
3. Dedicate time for adequate sleep so pertinent
about remaining relevant in the 21st century.
information can be effectively downloaded into long term memory which improves the ability to recall the right
What does it mean to remain relevant? According to dictionary.com,
information at the right time.
relevance is the ability to be connected with the matter at hand. Having a keen ability to present information in a relevant way is the
Relevant information is critical to relevant thinking as it
greatest matter at hand in today’s changing environment. Relevant
ultimately determines the actions we take in our homes, on
information is providing the right information at the right time. This
our jobs, and within our key circles of influence. Therefore,
convergence of information and timing unlocks the doors of
remaining relevant in the constant changing 21st century
relevance. When unlocked, these doors swing open to uncharted
requires consistent application of the Relevance Formula:
pathways that lead to new adventures and opportunities that will
Relevant Information + Relevant Thinking = Relevant
allow our voices to be heard in new and relevant ways!
Results.
LNE SHOW
PODCAST HOST KRYSTAL AND CHRISTINA APPLY CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES TO ENDURE REAL LIFE. NEW EPISODE EVERY THURSDAY
Krystal and Christina met in 2008 in Houston, Texas as college roommates. Their friendship started pretty quickly, and the two hit it off in everything they did. The two ladies are polar opposites but have been blessed to have a beautiful friendship for a decade. Krystal is very organized while Christina likes to live life off of a whim. Krystal is very regal and traditional while Christina enjoys bold statements and daring tasks. Krystal is single and enjoying the courting life while Christina is married with two kids. Even though their lives are different, they find a way to enjoy life, prosper their businesses and increase their faith through constant positivity. Their goal is to help people to love each other as themselves, be nurturing to their body souls and minds and to help endure and overcome life's roadblocks through the word of Christ. PAGE 22
LNE_SHOW THE LNE SHOW
L I S T E N
I N
MICHELLE-LEE HARRIS
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BOOKING: MICHELLE.LEE.MUSIK@GMAIL.COM
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MUSICIANS | SINGERS | SPOKEN WORD ARTISTS REAL MUSIC LOVERS MICHELLELEEMUSIK CHERYLPEPSII
SHAMEKA MARSHALL EP | EVEN THOUGH
SHAMEKAMARSHALL
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MORE MUSIC GREAT MUSIC !
DR. E SONGS OF THE STRUGGLE
INSPIRATIONALSOULQUEEN
DOCTAE1
Celebrating women in entertainment that produce good music to inspire and encourage you to dream, be, and do MORE. - ADD THESE LADIES TO YOUR PLAYLIST
- THE DASH BY SHAUNDYLL ROGERS
Several years ago, my son attended a funeral for a friend. Upon returning home, he told me about the part of the service that had the biggest impact on him. The speaker talked about the importance of “the dash,” the symbol (-) on our headstone between the date we are born and the date that we die. Our conversation led to my first time taking the opportunity to think about what my dash would one day represent. The more I thought about it, the more disappointed I became because I hadn’t accomplished anything significant. I wasn’t living the life that I had desired, and I didn’t know what I wanted my life to represent. Although I felt lost in that moment, it was easier to dismiss my feelings and continue with life. Why should I care what people say about me when I’m dead? I thought about that conversation with my son many times, and many more times I dismissed it until finally, it could no longer be ignored. What did my life represent? After answering that question, I came to the realization that I needed to make some changes. I came to understand that it’s less about the amount of time that you have in this life and more about what you are doing with the time that you have. Will you be remembered for what you gave to the lives of others or what you took away? The joy you brought to a room or the stress you created?
Will the memories of you be about an individual who lived a life that was exceptional or mediocre? Were you making things happen or always talking about making things happen? While you may not be the one telling the story, you are the author. How you live your life today is how you will be remembered tomorrow. Think about that for a moment. (I’ll wait.) Is that good enough for you? There was a time I would have been remembered for being the life of the party, the strength of my family, and being overly outspoken. But that wasn’t what I wanted. I want to be remembered for leaving a legacy that extends beyond my children and for giving hope to the hopeless, love to the unloved, and helping people find freedom. It can be easy to dismiss the thought, just as I did. However, the longer you dismiss it, the longer you allow yourself to dismiss the reality that you may very well be misrepresenting what you want your dash to represent. Don’t take for granted the amount of time you have to make your dash meaningful. I want to leave you with the final stanza of a very popular poem titled “The Dash” by Linda Ellis to think about: “So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?” shaundyllrogers iamshaundyll
Colorectal cancer is not common among adults under 50, but it is on the rise. Statistics quoted in a recent article in Web MD indicated that colon and rectal cancer (colorectal cancer) rates among people younger
COLORECTAL CANCER BY DENISE M. JORDAN
than 50 increased more than 11% between 2004 and 2014. This is disturbing news because colorectal cancer tends to occur most often in adults 50 or older and guidelines for screening target
Denise M. Jordan MA, RN is a
adults over the age of 50. When younger people report symptoms
Community/Public Health Nursing
characteristic of colorectal cancer, these symptoms are often
Instructor, Retired. She believes in health
discounted, and screening for colorectal cancer is not considered.
promotion and disease prevention through
As a result, colorectal cancer in younger adults is more advanced
education and is actively engaged in this
when diagnosed. More advanced disease means more aggressive treatment and higher mortality rates.
arena in her local community. Safe Sleep,
Symptoms associated with colorectal cancer.
Women’s Heart Health are her pet projects.
a practice to reduce infant mortality, and
The symptoms associated with colorectal cancer can be vague, so
it’s important to pay attention to your body. If you have any of the
Contact Denise Jordan
following complaints, talk with your doctor or nurse practitioner. Be proactive and ask for colorectal cancer screening. Screening is huge! Colorectal cancer can form from polyps (abnormal growths formed in the colon or rectum) that become cancerous. However, with the proper screening, polyps can be found early and removed before they become cancerous. Or, if cancer has already developed, screening allows for early diagnosis and treatment which often results in a cure. Recommendations include colonoscopy every seven to ten years starting at age 50 for people with average risk factors. People with a family history of colon cancer need to be screened earlier. For more information, contact Colon Cancer Screening One Call Referral Program at 877-870-0301. • Change in bowel habits, such as diarrhea, constipation, or narrowing of the stool that lasts for more than a few days • A feeling that you need to have a bowel movement that is not relieved by having one • Rectal bleeding with bright red blood • Blood in the stool, which may make the stool look dark • Cramping or abdominal pain
www.thisandthatwithdenise.com
Colorectal cancer is the second leading cancer killer in the United States. Whereas the family history of colon cancer increases your risk of developing the disease, many people who get colon cancer have no family history. There’s also an ethnic factor. African-American men and women have higher rates of colon cancer when compared with other racial or ethnic groups in the United States. The disease is usually more advanced when diagnosed, and mortality rates are higher. Early detection through screening reduces mortality rates and improves outcomes. Risk factors may include a history of fatty diets, processed foods, lack of exercise, and smoking. There is still some disagreement about the role diet plays in colorectal cancer. However, most health care providers agree that reducing your intake of animal and processed foods, eating mostly fruits and vegetables, and getting at least 30 minutes of exercise five or six days a week improves health. Smoking and alcohol abuse is also linked to colorectal cancer.
• Weakness and fatigue Unintended weight loss
Many day to day life situations has an impact on our mental and emotional health (
MENTAL HEALTH MYTHS BY MIYUME MCKINLEY, LCSW You are supposed to be STRONGER than this. Well, what is your definition of strong? Being strong doesn’t mean that you have to suffer until you can’t take it anymore or until something happens to force you to address your mental and
death of a loved one, divorce, chronic illness, work stress). Also, some diagnoses are genetic and are just a part of one’s biological makeup. However, often anxiety,
depression, etc. go untreated. So what are some myths that keep people from see therapy or cause mental health to be put on the back burner?
If you go for therapy, they will just try to give you psychiatric medication. False! Therapy does not always entail medication. If you see a
emotional health. It takes an enormous amount of strength to go to
psychiatrist, which is a medical doctor, you may leave with a
therapy and focus completely on yourself without distractions. It
prescription. Most psychiatrists do not provide psychotherapy; they
takes strength to face very uncomfortable emotions or past
only focus on managing medications taken for mental health
situations that cause an enormous amount of anger, anxiety or hurt. Yes, it can be scary, but working through such things that can keep you emotionally stagnant or hinder your personal growth is worth it. It can positively impact your overall quality of life.
If you can’t change it why think about it or even deal with it.
diagnoses. If you are seeking therapy only, you should go to a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), a licensed psychologist (PsyD) or a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC). These individuals only conduct therapy.
Ditch the myths and make the sound decision to take care of your You are right; we cannot change the past. However, everything we encounter an mentalhas and emotional self. You deserve to be to totally well. impact on our future, how we interact with others, and our overall perception. So that heartbreak or the parent not being a part of your life may not have stopped your progression in life, but if those feelings are ignored, they will manifest in different ways. Often they manifest physically (headaches, stomach upset, high blood pressure, overly tired, panic attacks, etc.), while other times they manifest in changes in mood or behavior (i.e., irritability, eating more, isolating, inability to focus, mistakes at school/work, others may state “you seem more frustrated lately” or “you seem disconnected”). These are all signs that it’s time to address your mental health.
CONNECT WITH ME Email: miyumem@eccts.com Therapy website: www.ecct.com Blog/Radio show website: www.epiphanyradioblog.com
Epiphany with Miyume epiphany_miyume @epiphanytalk
THE LEGACY OF THE COTILLION
BY MARY BYRD There is nothing more amazing than seeing young women taking positive steps into their future. I recently had the pleasure of spending a Sunday afternoon speaking to 15 young women who were hand selected to be 2017 Debutantes. The Fort Wayne
ANITA DORTCH
Debutante Cotillion is designed to award scholarships and acknowledge the excellence of African American ladies who are juniors and seniors in the local community.
These young women prepare for months for the Cotillion ball. “An Event Extraordinaire,” this program serves as a platform for these young women and enables them to receive recognition and financial support through scholarships. It is a life-changing experience that helps prepare them for the future. I was honored to interview Mrs. Anita Dortch, formerly a co-chair for the Fort Wayne Debutante Cotillion. Mrs. Dortch has been instrumental in creating a legacy that continues to grow and evolve. It was my pleasure to interview her and learn the history of this amazing organization.
THE DEBUTANTES When did you first get involved with the Fort Wayne Debutante Cotillion? My involvement started when I was chosen to be a Debutante by the Fort Wayne Urban League Guild. The Guild hosted many memorable Cotillions in the 1960’s. It was my dream to sponsor the Cotillion after the Guild ceased to sponsor the tradition during the 1970’s. While President of the Fort Wayne chapter of Jack and Jill of America, Inc, the family organization decided to sponsor the Cotillion. Under the leadership of Jack and Jill member Peggy Credle, “An Affaire Extraordinaire” was born in 1991 and held annually until 1993. From 1995 until 2007, the Cotillion was held bi-annually when Jack and Jill of America, Fort Wayne, disbanded.
TONI IRBY CO-CHAIR
DAWN SMITH CO-CHAIR
What words of advice would give to the Current Co -Chairs in this Organization? Continue the legacy of the Cotillion for young ladies who are worthy of recognition and meet the criteria for scholarship and remember to seek funding support for those Debs who need it. No young woman should be turned away due to a lack of financial resources.
Mrs. Dortch continues to be very much involved with Fort Wayn
Debutante organization even though she has passed the torch to the current Co- Chairs Toni Irby and Dawn Smith who have the same passion that she has for making difference in these young women’s lives. The legacy that she has helped to cultivate will grow and become even greater into the 21st century. She is truly a Women of History and Woman of More!
How Do You Respond To Your Storm? BY LATISHA NICOLLETTE
CONNECT WITH ME www.whataboutaclutch.com whataboutaclutch Latisha Nicollette Issue 27 | 234
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Have you ever felt like the saying, “When it rains, it pours” is the theme song to your life? Many of us have sat and repeated this very statement over and over. Many of us can attest to experiencing trials and tribulations back to back, without a second to breathe before we’re faced with yet another hurdle to get over. In my moments of pity, I find myself whining and complaining through my situation. I’ll say things like, “I can’t take it anymore,” “I need a break from my life,” or “If one more thing goes wrong, I’m going to scream.” There are times when I fall completely apart when certain things happen in my life. I go from being annoyed to worry, from frustrated to overwhelmed. Although I pray, my level of faith is not where it should be; I don’t always trust God with all areas of my life. Not many people will honestly admit that, but I believe in being honest with myself first. God is growing me up; he’s maturing me and teaching me to trust him in all things good or bad. I recently decided to reduce my complaining and trust God on another level. I also challenged myself to be mindful of what I speak into the atmosphere. I made this decision for two reasons: First, to strengthen my relationship with Christ. Second, to learn how to handle my tribulations with grace. When I think of God’s track record, I realize that it's impeccable and that he’s never left me. And, he’ll never leave you. Take a minute and think back to your last storm. If you’re able to sit back and think things over, that means you made it through. Ask yourself how you handled the storm. Could you have handled things better or complained less? If so, I challenge you to say, “God, I trust you; even when things go from bad to worst.” I challenge you to praise him in the midst of your storm rather than after the storm passes. I challenge you to walk by faith and not by sight. God is waiting for us to trust him completely.
be
BOLD PROTECT
&
YOURSELF BY VANESSA LINDLEY
As you make bold moves in your life, have you left yourself or family at risk from a financial crisis? Many people are living on the edge financially with no financial protections in place. This puts you and the people depending
Credit
In our current economic system, your credit score is an asset and
on you at a great risk, which can result in
can affect your housing, employment, transportation and
displacement, homelessness, mental and
insurance opportunities. It is important to keep it in the fair (640)
emotional stress, illness and at the very least
or above range through financial planning and regular
extremely vulnerable.
monitoring. You are eligible to receive one free credit report per
Where are you most vulnerable? Income? Health? Employment? Housing? What will you need to protect your family and assets? There are a variety of ways to protect you and your family, but we will focus on three that are most critical in this economy: financial
year on www.AnnualCreditReport.com
Insurance Life, disability, health, auto and home are types of insurance that protect your income or assets. Life insurance protects your income for people who depend on it to survive as well as to provide money to cover your funeral expenses. Disability protects your income while you are alive, but unable to work. This is a
identity protection, credit insurance, and
huge area of vulnerability for entrepreneurs if you’re the boss you
emergency savings.
need to get this covered ASAP. The same thing goes for health
Financial Identity Protection
insurance; not having it can be catastrophic.
You have a financial identity that is being
All of these insurances offer different amounts of coverage
created by your behaviors and there are
depending on your risk and budget. It is important to speak to an
consumer-reporting companies that collect
insurance professional or financial advisor to help you select the
information and provide reports to other
appropriate policies for you.
companies about you. Companies use these reports to make decisions about providing you with credit, employment, residential rental housing, insurance, and banking, retail, etc. Not being aware of what is being reported can leave you and your family at risk. Go to ConsumerFinance.gov under consumer reporting companies, to see which companies are collecting these reports and how you can get a copy of your reports to make sure they’re accurate and positive.
Emergency Savings
While the size of your emergency fund will vary depending on your lifestyle, monthly costs, income, and dependents, the rule of thumb is to put away at least three to six months' worth of expenses. This will protect you in the case of a job loss, slow contracts, illness or emergency. Having this cushion will give you the peace of mind you need to continue being bold and making moves. Depending on where you are in the financial life cycle: single, married, with children, divorced, self-employed, or unemployed, your financial risk will change, so it is critical to do a financial risk assessment and meet with a financial professional at least once a year. Go to my website lindleyconsultinggroup.com for a free financial risk assessment. Don't be afraid. Be bold and protect yourself!
o t d e d i c I De it a Try! Give
DON’T BUY ANOTHER FOUNDATION UNTIL YOU READ THIS! DENISE M. JORDAN
I am always on the lookout for a light-weight foundation that will give me a flawless finish. I think I might have found my Holy Grail when I bought Pur cosmetic’s Liquid Veil 4-in-1 Spray Foundation. I was browsing the Pur counter in Ulta when I spotted the Liquid Veil. I picked it up, read the blurb on the bottle and decided to give it a try. After selecting the shade that looked right for me, I sprayed it on the back of my hand. It felt cool and weightless. It blended out nicely. I made a beeline for a mirror, sprayed more on the back of my hand, and dabbed product on my face and neck with a sponge applicator. While turning my head from side to side, I thought, “This could totally work!” I decided to give it a try. I got in line, pulled out my debit card, and made the $39 purchase.
The next morning, I cleaned and moisturized my face as usual. Then, I got out the Liquid Veil. I checked the package directions just to make sure I got the best application. Shake well before using. Check. Spray it on the back of your hand or Pur Cosmetics Chisel brush. Che… Well, I sprayed it on the back of my hand, but I had not bought the chisel brush. I already had a Real Techniques Buffing Brush which looked pretty darn close to the chisel brush, so I used that to get an amazing application. My face looked great. It was me, only better. I finished up with my usual routine, and my complexion just glowed. The airbrushed look made me appear ten years younger. And did I say amazing? If I didn’t, I should have because I did look absolutely AMAZING!
So what’s the deal? Why is this product so great? Evidently, they’ve been working on this “ultralight, skin perfecting formula” for years and they got it right. The secret sauce includes liquid crystals, which retain moisture and reflect light, and Pur’s Ceretin Complex. These goodies resulted in a product that gave me glowing skin and a flawless look that lasted all day and well into the evening. This one is definitely a keeper. Liquid Veil 4-in-1 Spray Foundation can be worn alone or over other liquid, cream, or powder foundation to give skin a natural glow. It comes in four shades – light, medium, tan, and dark. Tan worked beautifully for me. Visit Ulta or Sephora to try it out before you purchase to make sure you get a shade that works for you. Do you want to see swatches? Visit me at www. makeuponaisle64.com. Got questions? Contact me at denise@makeuponaisle64.com.
Outside of the box. They don't look like anybody else. They don’t act, sound or be like nobody. Their beauty is in their daring to invent lives and lanes for themselves. They command the hairs on my arms to stand at attention and remind my soul and my voice that I am a necessary element in someone else’s healing.
I had a lot of wonderful experiences doing normal kid
DR.E • EMPOWERMENT THROUGH EDUCATION •
stuff, playing outside, learning how to swim, jumping rope, playing jacks, hide-and-go-seek, dancing, rhyming and being in the smart kids’ reading group, choir, orchestra and getting good report cards in elementary, but I wanted to be accepted, to please people, to be popular. I grew up believing that I was a negative image. Rubber lips, short nappy hair, chubby, kids hurled names that hurt like bricks. My parents had one fight that never ended. I found out I came from a broken home, spoke a broken language, and it broke my spirit. I had a gaping wound that only enlarged when I was raped, had an abortion and got turned out to the street life at 13. DAYUM! It seemed like it all happened in one fell swoop. Everything dropped, grades, activities, curfew. I lived a double life as a child prostitute and thief for my first love—who just happened to be a pimp.
He pulled one heist too many and got sent to prison, and that was the blessing that allowed me to graduate from junior high to high school. I recovered briefly, got back in the choir, orchestra, and talent shows singing with my best friends. I managed to graduate high school and enroll at Cleveland State University, but it wasn’t long before that negative image I had of myself took over as I partied my way out of Cleveland State and back into “the life,” working the streets for pimps. They accepted me. I could be beautiful out there.
Getting beat up, worked like a robot, being near- death regularly, getting high and going to jail became a way of life. I went from one pimp to the next, and then I started having babies. I knew I should do better. I knew I was supposed to get an education. I knew I was supposed to be making something out of my life. My mother mopped floors. My daddy sewed suits. They did all they could to give me a shot at life. Mama always wanted an “HEducation” and “oppachunity.” That was all she talked about. Being taken out of school when she was in 6th grade to work after her daddy got killed, Mama uprooted her Jamaican dreams and planted them into me in America when she came to the U.S after marrying my trumpet playing daddy. His love of music was knitted into my heart and my vocal chords.
Dr. Edwards fought to remind us, and others, that we urban domestic street
workers are human and deserve to heal. It took me a lot of failures because
addicted to the whole lifestyle, not just the drugs; But eventually, I learned ho But I wanted to die because I didn’t know how to live. The shame and hopelessness were too much to bear. One day when I was getting out of jail, a place I knew too well, I heard about “Project Second Chance for Sexually Exploited Women and Girls.” The director, Dr. Andrew Edwards, then a professor of social work at Cleveland State, had a heart for girls in the hood, those no good hoes, that jumped in and out of cars, day or night, on ghetto corners; Those unfit mothers who
accept myself. I was able to get clean, start being a mother to my kids, go b
school. I started back singing, performing, writing songs while I was in grad s Eventually, I earned a Ph.D. and became a professor and advocate. I have
inventing myself. I have had some folks write me off, not take me seriously a
scholar nor as an artist. To be honest, sometimes I have doubted myself. But
the right time, I ‘ll see a woman like Angie Stone, Sharon Jones, Macy Gray, L
Fischer, or Maya Angelou. These women with their voices and talents inspire
keep going to be all I can be. I don't have to be anybody else. I got up out o am outside of the box, and for that I am grateful.
dumped their kids off on family members and stayed in the streets for days and weeks. He didn’t throw us away or think we were a lost cause. That was before they called it Human Trafficking.
READ MORE ON PAGE 10
TH AE JN AS HO IN
The Artist ROCHELLE HUERTA FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM
ART AND DESIGN
I am a 43 year old "Woman of More" with 3 beautiful children ranging in age from 523. A few short phrases I choose to describe myself as Fearless Mom, Faithful Soldier, Loving Daughter, Loyal Friend, and Fitness Enthusiast.
L W D
My daily life is dictated my creativity and flexibility...it starts at 5:15am every morning to wake up my 16 year old son, then off to train a client, then back home to get my 5 year old son ready for school, and then I am off to the railroad for a 2 hour commute to NYC for work. The weekends do not slow down, with more clients and teaching spin classes, I find myself relying on my creativity and flexibility to maneuver my days but still ending them filled with satisfaction. My fitness journey began over 10 years ago when I was in my early thirties and I wanted to truly make working out a part of my life...sort of like brushing my teeth. In 2006, with coaching from one of my mentors I decided to get certified to teach spin. Why not? I loved it. I did it all the time. And, I could share my passionI, I did it all the time, and I could share my passion for getting fit with others. From that moment in 2006, I never turned back. Since then, I have gone on to teach spin in over 10 different facilities in Queens and Long Island, became certified as a personal trainer, and I have recently begun teaching boot camp known as HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). I was introduced to HIIT training in 2015 when I could not shed those last 10 pounds after having my last son. Being over 40, it proved challenging to get rid of the weight. With the help of a trainer, spinning, a sensible diet, and changing up my weight training routine, I was not only able to shed those 10 pounds but also add a great deal of muscle. I redefined my body in a way that made me take a second look at my profile every time I passed a mirror and ask, “Is that me?” In 2016, I created The NikkyLit Impact to help people redefine themselves not only by building muscle and getting their heart rates up but by helping them become their best self. The mind, the body and soul are one, and each part needs to be nurtured. I am on my journey to my best self and I will continue to grow and evolve. No longer will I be defined by a dress size or the number on the scale. I do not have a sixpack, bulging muscles or a competition body but when I look in the mirror I no longer ask, “is that me?” I say, “you are
NIKKYLITIMPACT
NICOLE LITTREAN
NICOLE LITTREAN NIKKYLITIMPACT
YOU ARE BECOMING YOUR BEST SELF
A S H L E Y
N O R T H
Celebrity stylist and men’s style expert Ashley North is quickly becoming one of the most recognized names in the fashion industry today. With over a decade of experience, Ashley has successfully turned emerging talent into best-dressed A-listers. She got her start working alongside Grammy award winning, international superstar Usher. Through Usher she began styling Justin Bieber, curating his style in his formative years as an artist. From there Ashley has gone on to style dozens of names in music, film, television, and sports including J. Cole, Dashon Goldson (San Francisco 49ers), Jordan Clarkson (LA Lakers) and current client, comedian and film star Kevin Hart. Raised in Seattle, Ashley graduated from The University of Washington with a degree in Communications, and moved to Los Angeles to pursue her lifelong dream of working in fashion. As a Creative Director and Stylist, she has collaborated with major brands like H&M and her work has graced the pages of Rolling Stone, Complex, Fader, Entertainment Weekly, and The Hollywood Reporter, to name a few. Ashley currently resides in Los Angeles with her fiancé and two daughters.
How do you stand out in the world of fashion? I think the key to standing out in the world of fashion is to just be yourself. There is enough shine for everyone and I feel like people value and admire someone who can be true to who they are and not try to conform to what they think people want to see.
When did you discover your MORE?
I discovered my MORE once I had my first child. I am always pushing to be a role model for my little girls and I know one day my hard work and dedication will pay off.
What would you say to inspire women around the world in their pursuit to dream, be, and do MORE?
I think the best inspiration that I can give is just to not be afraid to follow your dreams. I am a firm believer in setting goals and making a plan of action. You have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. As well as believe in yourself and the path that you are following and try not to compare your path to others. It’s never too late, you are never too old or too young. Don’t stop until you get to where you want to be. Don’t put limits on yourself. Don’t be afraid of No’s or failure. ASHLEYNORTHSTYLE
20 PHOTO BY: SHANNON LAURINE
PAGE 22
CONFIDENCE IS YOUR BEST ACCESSORY Please visit her website for more info on Ali, her styling portfolio and her everyday fashion tips, must haves, and trends on her blog www.alilevine.com.
Ali Levine is New York's hot shot turned Hollywood "it girl" for fashion styling. Beginning her career working with such brands as Target and Coach, Ali quickly progressed and is now a top contributor with USA Today, LA Times, NY Times, Racked, and many other national media outlets. Known for her “on set styling” for LA’s hottest television shows, she can also be found dressing the A-list stars heading to the biggest red carpet events. Some of the celebrities she works with include Lisa Vanderpump, Lisa Edelstein, Grace Vanderwaal, Scheana Shay- Scheana, Jules Tucker, Jillian Rose Reed, Rita Wilson, Mollee Gray, Candace Burke, Holly Robinson Peete and the list goes on.
The thing that is the most intriguing of Ali Levine’s brand, is that she continues to catapult herself up the ladder due to her grind and hustle. She is constantly asked how, as a celebrity stylist, she has become a celebrity herself. The answer is easy when you look into her thick Google pages full of press... It's her grind. Ali Levine from New York brought that mentality to L.A. With a very impressive family tree of executives to learn from, including her father, she has gained a lot of knowledge to help live her dream. The knowledge only gets one so far, and so the hustle and hard work are where you see success. There are not many projects, opportunities Ali will not turn down. If she is capable of bringing her best to the table, she will commit and do the job. This is the secret of success. Most people think that if you become choosy and throw your nose in the air pretending you’ve already made it, that will get you further. It is quite the opposite and this showboat stylist is here to prove that method is old and broken. Ali's signature statement, "A humble and contrite spirit will get you everywhere, but confidence is your best accessory," says it all.
Ali Levine also believes in offering her skill set to everyone, streboR guoD :yb otohP
not just celebrities, and offers remote styling services to people that need advice on what to wear. She really finds comfort in helping others feel good about themselves in their wardrobe and in their own skin. Ali is offering remote services such as email, Skype, FaceTime, to bring fashion &
ALILEVINEDESIGN
styling to you! Ali can conduct a closet audit in person or
LIKETOKNOW.IT
from afar, walking you through the toss/keep method to help tame your crazy closet. Check out more about her services at www.alilevinestyling.com
KEMCENTS IS MAKING CHANGE! www.washcpallc.com
She is an author, educator and personal finance news contributor. She has authored The Ten Commandments to a Financial Healing, Are you wearing the B.A.D.G.E.? Financial Planner, 21 Days of Powerful Breakthroughs and a host of other books. Excerpts of her books are available on the YouVersion Bible App and have received more than 160,000 downloads collectively. In addition, The Ten Commandments to a Financial Healing was the most downloaded plan on YouVersion during June 2014, being well received by many.
While in college, she recalls a host of credit card companies offering freebies if she signed on the dotted line – so she did. One after another, she accumulated credit card debt in exchange for tokens that cost close to nothing! Armed with an unstable part-time job and a victim to spending, she found herself in a financial mess. With a very low credit score, she knew something had to be done. Therefore, after graduating from college, Kemberley made a strong commitment to get her finances in order. She began to seek God’s help and wisdom to turn her finances around. As such, she was able to purchase her first home at the age of 23 and started her journey to help others by sharing her knowledge as a financial news contributor, author, and educator.
Today, Kemberley operates Washington CPA Services, LLC and the B.A.D.G.E. plan, a program designed to teach individuals about financial literacy. As such, she provides financial literacy classes to churches, nonprofits, colleges and universities, schools, businesses and private groups. Her course, The Ten Commandments to a Financial Healing has received great reviews and is often
She has received numerous awards to include the 2015 First NBC Financial Millennial Award, Financial Service Professionals (FSP) Paul S. Mills Award, Dillard University’s Outstanding Teacher and Dean’s Awards, and the ING Summer Scholarship Award.
Recently, she has been named to the AICPA National Financial Literacy Commission. She was selected as only one of thirty CPAs to attend the AICPA 3rd Annual Leadership Institute and is featured on This Way to CPA, a website designed to promote the CPA license designation. Lastly, Kemberley was instrumental in revitalizing the National Association of Black Accountants (NABA) New Orleans chapter after Hurricane Katrina, where she served as president.
implemented by churches and groups. She is also often sought after as a keynote speaker regarding topics ranging from personal finance, taxation, entrepreneurship, keys to success, biblical perspectives and more.
She is a former faculty member of Dillard University, where she taught personal finance and business courses. During her tenure at Dillard University, Kemberley authored proposals and received funding from the Louisiana Board of Regents to receive
As a personal finance news contributor, she often appears on many news outlets, which includes Fox 8 Morning News and NBC WDSU News. Also, she is frequently heard on iHeartRadio Stations, FM98 and Q93, where she provides tips to help individuals conquer their personal finances. Throughout her career, she has had the opportunity to contribute to US News, Fox Business, Yahoo Finance, The New Orleans Agenda, Jet Magazine, The New Orleans Tribune, Smart Asset, The Street,
approximately $70,000 of funding, which she utilized to establish the Small Business Accounting Center at the institution. She has also been instrumental in securing funding geared towards Dillard University’s College of Business for the purpose of establishing sponsorships, scholarships, and other types of funding to support the college. Prior to joining the faculty at Dillard University, Kemberley had the opportunity to work for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) as a Special Agent in its Criminal Investigation Division and a Revenue Agent for the Small Business and Self-Employed Division.
Bankrate.com, Upscale, Credit Karma, Experian, and much more.
KEMWASHCPA
She is currently completing her Ph.D. in the area of personal finance at Texas Tech University and owner and President of Washington CPA Services.
GAME CHANGHER! I believe I was in Elementary school
WHO WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOUR FEMALE MENTOR NEAR OR FAR? AND WHY?
when I discovered my MORE. My
My daughter Nevaeh. She's only 4
father was a natural born artist. He
years old and my MORE has been
was self taught like I am. When he
passed down to her. I never pushed
got diagnosed with esophagus
art on her, she has a passion for it all
cancer I felt I had to pursue my
on her own and is so great at it. I
MORE for him. He is why I have this
can't wait to see what her MORE is
gift. My art has received a lot of
like in the future. I have her and 3
attention recently and it's only the
sons, Markis 7 and my twin 2 year old
beginning.
boys Lucas and Joshua that I strive to
HOW AND WHEN DID YOU DISCOVER YOUR MORE?
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD?
do MORE and more everyday. All for them.
Once you find out what your MORE is, do it! Pursue it! Don't let it go to waste! You owe it to yourself.
BREA OWEN BREAOWENFITNESS
By 12 years old, I was nearly six feet of awkwardness, hyper-focused on what my body didn’t look like rather than the strength that came along with size. I developed a distorted body image and became obsessed with my build, putting my body and mind through a variety of fad diets and supposed diet foods. I beat myself up for binge eating empty calories, so-called fat-free foods that replaced the dreaded f-word with sugar while stockpiling carbs. None of it added up to any degree of self-love or self-care. The diet foods I thought would transform me into a svelte head-turner were actually causing my insulin levels to fluctuate and my sweet tooth to declare anarchy, none of which helped alleviate my body image issues.
Fast forward 20-or-so years, and I was watching my father lose a long, tortuous battle to cancer, and my mother and step-father suffer from numerous medical issues related to inflammation. I drew from my many years studying kinesiology, from for which I earned a master's degree in health and fitness promotion. To compliment my knowledge about how the body works and responds, I began to immerse myself in learning about holistic nutrition with the goal of helping myself and others embrace the idea of eating to live instead of living to eat, resulting in self-love and a new take on life. I am now working to obtain certifications in primal food and integrative nutrition. My ultimate mission is to heal people of disease through diet! I believe I can have an impact in this world and will not stop until I do.
ROCHELLE HUERTA SEE HER MASTERPIECE ON PAGE 18
FAMILY MATTERS CONNECTING YOUR FAMILY & CAREER
5 STEPS TO CONNECTING YOUR FAMILY & MANAGING YOUR CAREER OVER THE SUMMER Backpacks are tucked away in the closet. Silence in the morning
By Miranda Stewart
1. Morning Moments
replaces the shuffling of feet sprinting toward the car as it pulls
Take advantage of breakfast in the morning. Be intentional
off for school. Yep school is out. But work is not. Families
about having distraction free dialogue. Ask thought-
everywhere are faced with balancing work and staying
provoking questions such as “What are you looking forward to
connected with their kids over the summer. Kids will be busy
today?” Stick with it, even if they resist.
Photo by Steve Greene
connecting and finding ways to express themselves. 2. Cell Phone Free Commute It's important as parents that we stay connected to them, too.
If you have a commute where you are transporting them to or
That we understand what they are listening to (it influences what
from, stay off your phone. It is amazing the type of things they
they think), who they spend time with (it influences what they
tell you when you are connected.
do), and what they watch (it impacts how they see themselves). 3. Schedule Time Off Connecting with our Children
Schedule time for the family to be ‘off’ together. Plan a
What does it mean to connect with your child? It means
vacation or staycation. Make a portion of this time ‘device
creating a distraction free zone where you can "hear" them even
free’, so there is space to genuinely connect.
if they are not speaking. It means a hug or touches every day. 4. Manage Work at Home Therapist Virginia Satir says, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival,
When it’s necessary to bring work home, schedule evening
5 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth.”
office hours. For example, if I have to do work in the evening, I will ... This will allow me to be free to engage with my
Be Intentional
children until this time. I will schedule it for after 8:30 pm. This
As a working parent, there have been times when the busyness
will allow me to free to engage with my children at this point.
of life and work have gotten in the way. Can you relate? 5. Table Talk There are 5 actions for busy parents who want to stay
Dinner time is the one time in our family where we are all
connected over the summer:
sitting down, at the same time. We don’t allow electronics, so it’s the perfect opportunity to connect. Every now and then I will initiate a game we play called “Table Talk’. It’s where we will write down five topics and put them in a bowl. Each
jil@thepeopleresourcegroup.com www.ThePeopleResourceGroup.com FB: jiljordangreene Twitter: @HR4SmallBizness
person from the family pulls a topic and has to share their views for one minute. It’s such a great time to really hear what they are thinking, to give encouragement and feedback.
Instagram: jilgreene Family matters. Create moments to connect. You won’t regret it. Work and life don’t have to get in the way, NO M A we D I Cjust| have 2 4 to plan for it.
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