ANTHIA CANDLE CO.COM "Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause." - Cecilia Tran
of ing n n i g be the the with t d u e o n s, o ab enlighte the role g a an eks was re th . l we t when I o a r m e , n ls ev on ed s at mome the labe nd relied d n i y h m E. T ore than ved by a me b s re R a d O w e i M I nudg asure of as m tories I l n of w e d I o m e ts , G Wo that ome cing a m said yes y pas c age m s e s n v e n a m e ha experie ause you re th w o r m fa ec re and how ou a r you is b y n o n fo t." re cted ly reaso befo refle ening ssignmen n p I n o o e s A re a pp he ne ors a es to the g, "t to ha to the o o n i s d y g a d n i d y s n th an said, ess a k for e vision o o l succ first. You we o th e me, ent t o m s to m t to i r nded o nd fo l of comm o a p , s s dt d re time r leve d an t were tie rd e g Often ide of ou d a wa wle ts s. ple th n my for ckno o a e or ou ve it to u I p i ce d nd ga as on t things a ifeste that n w a e m e en aliz n't re that mom ning to b on d i d I sed in t t u g a a c e h , o b f d r W u were I hea re yo a t a what signment h s to? W s e my a or y say ry do . RE? e o t O v e g M path ks ! our usin unloc to YOU u ref do with y o y l y u tr RE to t are S. It 's MO E Wha s nothing e Y r e UR . Th ha that h YO ard self t i w s rw start ur fo o g y n i o t h yt d Ever onnecte c that's ton shing a W elle Mich
THERE'S MORE TO YOU! YOU ARE A
WOMAN OF MORE!
THAT MEANS YOU ARE MORE THAN THE TITLES, MORE THAN YOUR ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES AND MORE THAN YOUR STORY. YOUR CAPACITY IS GRAND. DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE IT? DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE IT? TAKE YOUR SHOT. THERE'S MORE TO YOU.
WOMENOFMORE
CONTENTS COMMAND THINGS TO CHANGE!
EDITOR'S NOTE LEARNING THE POWER OF SAYING YES TO GOD FIRST!
I AM HER Realizing the truth of who I am.
REMEMBERING WHOSE YOU ARE
GOD IS CHANGING OUR STORY!
When confusion and unrest unfolds in the world. Now what?
JEKALYN
CARR ARBUCKLE
DONNI WIGGINS
THERE'S MORE TO YOU. DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE IT? DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE IT? The moment you understand how grand the path is BEFORE YOU is the moment you will see and live life MORE.
Donni has been able to positively impact the lives of thousands of people all over the world. THE VOICE OF A SYMPHONY AND MORE.
WOM
THE POWER OF A WOMAN'S VOICE
GAYE
LOVE LETTERS TO OUR GIRLS
Founder and Editor-in-Chief | Michelle Washington
Senior Editor Illustrator Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer
Dr. Cherita Weatherspoon Michelle Washington Darieth Chisolm Shaundyll Rogers Vanessa Lindley Rainbow Huff Indiana Tuggle Carleen Elisa Tanerra Willis Tynetta Brown Heather Wilkins Dr. Torri Love Griffin Dr. Malaika Turner P'Alex Dillon Sharon Wilson Siobhan Kimberly
EDITORIAL OFFICE P.O. BOX 261 | BEAR, DE 19701 MORE@WOMENOFMOREMAGAZINE.COM Women of MORE Magazine is published by WOMEN OF MORE CREATIVE GROUP www.womenofmorecreativegroup.com
@womenmoremag
An anthology for Black Women and Girls by Black Women and Girls. Over 100 love letters that speak to the beauty, value, strength, and vulnerability of Black women. Help us share this empowering message with Black women and girls around the world. Let's incite a revolution of love within our sisterhood. Donate to support our scholarships and book donations to organizations and groups that serve Black women and girls by texting IUME to 41444 or visit www.LoveLetterstoMyGirls.com/donate.
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THE VOICE OF A SYMPHONY
WHO IS GAYE ARBUCKLE? I am a mother of two who is strong and passionate about her work. I'm a results-oriented, natural leader. I root for the underdog. I am an introvert, a lover of God and of people. I am authentic, patient, and uncomplicated. I am a teacher, minister and recording artist.
LET'S TALK WITH GAYE ARBUCKLE
WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU COULD SING? I’ve always had the gift of singing, even as a shy little girl; and began working for churches at the age of 13. Playing the piano and organ were my first instruments and directing choirs was second on the list. I come from a musical family with my mother, father and grandmother leading the pack. By the time I went off to college, I began directing the Baptist Student Movement (BSM) choir. My passion for singing began to grow while at Prairie View A&M University. I listened to all kinds of music – from Barbara Streisand to James Cleveland. I recorded my first cassette when I was 24. Since then, I’ve recorded on several CDs with the late James Moore and the Mississippi Mass choir, TD Jakes’ Woman Thou Art Loosed, Anthony Brown and Group Therapy, and others. I’ve also performed on Kirk Franklin’s Exodus Festival and had the opportunity to sing at The Kennedy Center honoring the late Aretha Franklin; not to mention, I’ve recorded five of my own CDs.
HOW HAVE YOU REMAINED AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE BODY OF CHRIST? I can’t do anything without the help of the Lord. I can only be me since everyone else is taken. I probably will not be able to reach everyone and share the good news of Jesus Christ but God has an area of people for me to reach on His behalf. WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR GREATEST LESSON OR MOMENT IN MINISTRY? My greatest moment was singing for the families of the fallen officers in Dallas. The 44th President Barak Obama and Michelle Obama, Former President & Lady Bush, and Vice President Biden and his wife were all on the same stage as CNN aired it live. And the greatest lesson I've learned is the value of honesty – whether you’re giving it or receiving it. Having to have "carefrontations" with individuals on a disturbing matter has taught me how to pray. WHEW!
TELL US MORE ABOUT #GETYONOTE #getYonote was created because I was tired of seeing a WHEN DID YOU DISCOVER YOUR MORE? plethora of negativity on social media. I felt people needed I must admit that I am still discovering my “more” something inspiring, fun, enjoyable (including bloops and every day. But I also accept the fact that I am unique, blunders) to wake up and smile to in the mornings. I asked like no other. As I mature, I’m more confident in who both ordinary and more well-known people – whether they I’ve become and what God has enabled me to could sing or not – to sing a hymn. If they didn’t know one, overcome. When I stopped comparing myself to others I’d teach it to them. Then I started receiving notifications and realized that I’m a special treasure according to that viewers had seen people they hadn’t seen in years; Deuteronomy 14:2; I finally got it. things like, “I didn’t know he/she could sing,” or parents seeing their grandchildren, and the list goes on. I really WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE didn’t think it would last that long but here we are three CURRENT PANDEMIC AND HOW THE CHURCH years later. IS RESPONDING TO IT? This pandemic has made me think about how WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN precious life is. We’re walking around in masks, not AROUND THE WORLD? being able to hug our loved ones out of fear; people Know your worth and know you are worth it. Love yourself are dying at any age, and depression and loneliness with flaws and all and move forward. Be strong and are at an all-time high. If God doesn’t have our courageous. Find women who will hold you up and hold attention now, I don’t know what will get it. The church you accountable. You are never too old to learn or pursue is just a building. I hope we see that we are the house your dreams. Get a mentor. Compliment and encourage where God dwells. As much as I would like to return to other women. Think and stay positive. Sow/give. Take time see the congregants, for now it’s not possible in our for yourself. Don’t compare. Exercise, eat right, play and sanctuary and there is no word on when it will be. rest. While some prefer online services, I have always preferred being in the room. My church gives out boxes of food on Tuesdays and Thursdays and tries to help those in financial need.
LADIES OF VANTAGE POINT
SERGE MARIE PIERCE | A'LEXA HAWKINS | NATALIE TORRES CO-HOSTS
FROM
LEFT
TO
RIGHT
Tune in to Vantage Point to hear the things you wonder about but rarely hear discussed candidly in a public forum. Viewers have the opportunity to hear three different “vantage points” on current topics that affect us all. And because it is an interactive show, viewers are encouraged through social media to join the conversation with their own vantage points. The goal is to have viewers leave the show so engaged that they can’t wait for the next one and they are sharing and talking about the show to others. FOLLOW US ON
Her I AM
WRITTEN BY DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON
Business Accelerator | Author | Speaker | Publisher IG and FB: Coach Cherita www.CheritaWeatherspoon.com
It took me a while, but I finally started to realize the truth of who I am. I am a woman who had big dreams, but who was also fearful. I am a woman who let the illusion of security dictate her path in life. I am a woman who had resigned herself to a life that was acceptable. I am her. I am also a woman who has decided to go after what she wants. I am a woman who takes risks. I am a woman who sometimes still struggles to overcome her fears. I am a woman who refuses to die with the regret of what could have been. I am a woman who sees the power and value in who she is but also in who she has yet to become. I am her. I am also a woman who is not yet fully herself but at the same time all she will ever need to be. I am a woman who recognizes her failings, her shortcomings, and her need for growth. I am a woman committed to the journey of turning those failures into successes, those shortcomings into strengths, and those areas of growth into personal characteristics that set me apart from the rest. I am her. I am all of these women. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. There is no shame in being who I was. She allowed me to become who I am. There is no satisfaction in who I am because she is not who I was meant to be. There is only excitement for the transformation that is to come, because she is who I was born to be. I am her.
WE ARE WOMEN OF INFLUENCE, POWER, AND RESILIENCE, WOMEN THAT ARE CONFIDENT IN OUR FUTURE BECAUSE OF WHOSE WE ARE. (INSPIRED BY PROVERBS 31:25)
WRITTEN BY APRIL FIELDS
REPOSITIONING OURSELVES AS WOMEN We have heard this time and time again, and one might agree that we are living in some of the most unprecedented times: a nation of racial unrest, wildfires, and an election unlike any other. As women, moms, wives and daughters of the King we are trying to find our place. There’s a gift of discernment (perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding) that has allowed me to discern the emotions, and heaviness of women around the world, as many of us struggle to find a sense of normalcy in the midst of what feels like chaos. Many of us are struggling to balance raising children, tending to the needs of our spouse, virtual school, our own career, caring for elderly parents and so much more. While some are simply struggling to maintain their peace in this world as a single woman. Wherever you might be in your spiritual journey, in your life, or in your career, you have to become comfortable with just simply being. The mundane tasks of life have caused you to dim your light, to shrink back into your shell, to accept the lies of the enemy who has somehow convinced you that where you are is where you will remain - that this is all that life has to offer you.
THE PURPOSE AND PLANS THAT LIE AHEAD Can I encourage someone? Can I speak some much needed life into your spirit? Can you lean in as you read this so that God speaks to your heart through the words on this page? There is more that God has for you. Your current situation does not determine your future. God has great plans and a purpose for your life that you may find hard to believe and may not be able to see in this very moment; plans that were in place before you were formed in your mother’s womb. You are not reading this article by chance. Even as you read this, there is someone, somewhere who is in need of the gifts, talents and abilities that God has given you that extend far beyond any title or role that you currently possess. The good news is – in this season the Lord is calling His beloved daughters to return to their rightful and royal positions. God is bringing clarity and direction where there was once confusion and uncertainty. As I was preparing to write this article the Lord began to show me the lens of the camera. Just as the camera lens must be adjusted in order for the focus to become clearer, we must adjust our view of ourselves. What was once blurry will become clear as we adjust our spiritual lens. God will begin to show us that we are more than wives, mothers, grandmothers, daughters – we are more than our job titles.
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RES ILIE NCE
There is an old maxim that states, “Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.” Often, we throw out clever quotes like this as quick-witted anecdotes when someone we know has the “blahs” or the “blues.”
WRITTEN BY CARLEEN ELISA BROWN We are facing new realities that will reshape our families and communities for many years to come. Still, resident within these challenges are opportunities – ripe with the ingredients to strengthen our resolve and reveal just how tough and resilient we really are.
From young children to seniors, we are in an unprecedented collective experience that has impacted us all inexplicably, and the long-term impact remains to be seen. Yet, there is evidence of our resilience all around us.
While many of our busy lives
have slowed to a crawl within the storm called COVID, we have found new ways to connect with our loved ones.
While jam-
packed calendars have been suddenly cleared, time for rest and being still has emerged, affording those who would take advantage an occasion to free their minds and renew their spirits.
Despite
layoffs and financial cutbacks, many have retooled and created new revenue streams; and in the face of stress and
In
moments of collective distress, however, those words
distress, some have found ways to invest in others and give back.
take on renewed meaning and serve to remind us of why they are timeless. Endued with power, they activate the resilience that lies within us.
According to a paper titled, Supportive Relationships and Active Skill-Building Strengthen the Foundations of Resilience: Working Paper 13, presented by the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child at Harvard University, “resilience is a positive, adaptive response in the face of significant adversity. It is neither an immutable trait nor a resource that can be used up. On a biological level, resilience results in healthy development because it protects the developing brain and other organs from the disruptions produced by excessive activation of stress response systems.
Stated simply, resilience transforms
Trials and tests are a couple of life’s greatest teachers. They come equipped with lessons to show us who we are and remind us of what truly matters.
They
reveal the priceless virtues of love, joy, peace, hope, faith, and wisdom that are necessary if we plan to endure trying circumstances. They also stretch our capacity – allowing us to grow and become more than we could imagine and unearthing the resilience that lies dormant in each of us until it is mined by our difficulty.
potentially toxic stress into tolerable stress.”
THE YEAR 2020 WILL GO DOWN IN INFAMY AS ONE OF THE MOST STRESSFUL YEARS ON RECORD – THE YEAR THAT ALTERED OUR PERSONAL, NATIONAL AND GLOBAL HISTORIES IN UNFORESEEABLE WAYS.
Our resilience recognizes we can recover and allows us to stretch to meet the challenge.
It doesn’t mean the circum-
stances won’t affect us as it is impossible not to be altered in the face of pain, tragedy and hardship. However, change leads to growth, which ultimately serves us well.
WHAT IS IN A /NĀM/?
You may think a name just identifies you as a person. However, ask the Tanerras, Chanikas, Kaherias, and LaShawandas of the world. We will quickly tell you it means so much more. WRITTEN BY TANERRA WILLIS
A
name seeks to identify a precious gift – a baby girl who is loved and whose birth was anticipated with joy. Daily our mothers, family members, and friends chanted it with excitement as we laughed and played. It was screamed to the mountain tops at birthday parties, kindergarten graduations, recitals, and awards ceremonies.
As the Tameikas, ChrisShaunas, Jamillahs, and Mashandas grew up, we quickly began to notice the difference. We were clearly treated different than the Jessicas, Saras, and Beths of the world. The latter are protected and seen as sacred beings. If they are threatened, raped, killed or simply mistreated, the world rushes to their side and the behaviors that compromise their well-being are widely rebuked. Who stands for us? I can tell you from experience that no one stands for us. Since high school, I have been discriminated against for my name. I know my resume was sorted by my name, address, and high school when I applied for jobs. When hosting events, I often was greeted by a happy and willing venue only to be turned away when I shared my demographics. As an educated adult in leadership roles, I have people purposely mispronounce my name, have trouble remembering my name, and disregard my name because I am one of few black people in the room. In addition, I have sat at countless tables with groups of white people – at lectures, meetings, and parties – and not been acknowledged. Both my name and my skin color have contributed to my being isolated and dismissed.
Our children, and their so-called ethnic names, have equal ability to run companies, hold political office (shout out to Kamala and Barak), be lead actors, and entrepreneurs. We should not have to choose names that are acceptable to “White America.” To be honest, I am guilty of this. I have told many people to consider a name that would help them avoid discrimination. However, it is sad that Black mommies and daddies cannot simply choose a name that is endearing to them or has a meaning that is significant to them. Instead we have to wonder, “What will the world think” or “Are we setting them up for failure?” In closing, I am writing today to say we all have room to grow. We all have practiced discriminatory behaviors, thoughts, and words. It is time to stop. It is time to walk in love and in kindness for all.
WWW.WOMENOFMORE.COM |
WOMEN OF MORE DEEMS YOU AS A DECREE (LAW) MAKER, A FORCE OF TRUTH AND POWER. HAVE YOU ALWAYS HAD THIS ABILITY TO SET AND CHANGE THE ATMOSPHERE? IF SO, HOW DID YOU DEVELOP IT AND HOW OLD WERE YOU? First, thank you for that! When I was about seven years old, I remember hearing my dad say, “Whatever stage you’re on, own it! But you can’t own it without God.” I’ve carried those words with me. When God gives me an opportunity to minister to His people, I tell myself I have one shot and I tell God I don’t want to do it without you. Even though I’ve ministered thousands of times, I never want to feel like I’ve figured it all out. No, I need for Jesus to be in control because I want to always be effective. When God is in it and on it, He performs! READ MORE
WHEN DID YOU DISCOVER YOU WERE A WOMAN OF MORE?
LET'S TALK WITH
CARR
Jekalyn
I would say it was when I first started at the age of five. Yes, surprisingly I just knew that God had placed more in me than what I could currently see. I always knew God would use me to do great things. I saw the greatness and so did my parents. So, I’ve learned to place my destiny in the hands of my destiny creator and - to God be the glory - He has carried me. I have a passion for helping people and seeing people be who they were born to be and I’m blessed to do that through my music, my messages, and my life. YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN POWERFUL AND CONSISTENT, AND IT HAS ALWAYS TAUGHT US TO MOVE FORWARD, TO BELIEVE FORWARD AND TO TRIUMPH. WHAT SHOULD WOMEN BE DOING TODAY IN REFERENCE TO YOUR MESSAGE FOR 2020? Despite everything that’s going on, God’s plans for your life have not changed. I am in strong belief that your dreams don’t end here. Your destiny doesn’t stop here. Your purpose doesn’t stop here. Ask God what moves He wants you to make and how He wants you to make them. One thing I do know is, when you make God your ultimate plan, He’ll cause everything to fall into place when you least expect it. If He’s carrying you, He won’t drop you! He will not bring you this far to leave you. Remember, He placed you here, so He will sustain you here! WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS SHIFTING IN THE PANDEMIC FOR THE BODY OF CHRIST?
I think the pandemic is pushing us to focus on what really matters and to prioritize. I’ve heard so many stories and testimonies from people about how they’ve picked their pens back up to write, started pursuing their destiny, embraced family, realized what God’s plans are for their lives and, most importantly, started allowing God to do what He does; and that’s be God! So, even though there are a lot of negative things going on, I strongly believe that you can be positive. What are you going to do from here? Do you just stare at the mountain or do you speak to it and say “mountain be moved?” Don’t let the enemy play with your mind and make your vision blurry. You have to know who you are and stand firm on what God has said concerning you and your household. Your house doesn’t have to be down just because others choose to stay down. At some point, as hard as it can be, you have to gather yourself and proclaim the word of God over you, your house, and everything else concerning you.
WHAT’S ON THE HORIZON FOR JEKALYN CARR? Definitely an overall development. In my music, business, and more. My desire is to tap into every gift in me, be able to bless people in many ways, and continue to allow God to make history through me. I just released my album, “Changing Your Story.” I’m tapping into even more of my entrepreneurial gift. I have something to soon be released and I’m extremely excited about it. Of course, there are other things I’m working on that I can’t speak on just yet, but GREATER IS COMING! You can follow me for updates and just to be a part of my journey via social media.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD TO INSPIRE THEM? I want to encourage you to keep fighting. You have more in you than you realize. Don’t devalue yourself because you don’t think you are enough. If God put it in you, it’s more than enough for Him to use to set you up for life! You are near and dear to the heart of God. God wants to prosper you in every area of your life. Something I do every morning is say, “God today is a new day, so I recommit my life, gifts, destiny and everything else you’ve given me back to you.” Because when you give it to God instead of trying to do it on your own, He will cause you to flourish! Also, ask God for the confidence you need to successfully live out your purpose. When you are confident, you will never feel the need to compete or compare. Never let people turn what you do into a competition. Stay confident, stay pure, and stay with God and He will continue to increase you. Thank you so much for supporting me. You are now finally able to go and purchase, add and stream my new album, “Changing Your Story.” I have a new merch line, “Jekalyn by Jekalyn Carr.” You can also follow me on social media @JekalynCarr. INTERVIEWED BY: MICHELLE WASHINGTON | EDITOR IN CHIEF
CREATIVE TEAM BEHIND THE COVER JBOLIN
CELEBRITY STYLIST
LONDON & KAUWUANE BURTON
JBOLIN
@KAUWUANE
@STYLISTJBOLIN CONTENT FROM WWW.SHOPJBOLIN.COM
@THELONDONXPERIENCE_ CONTENT FROM WWW.KSBFOTO.COM
J. Bolin continues to lead the industry in innovation with his signature trademark of mixing prints, patterns, and textures on some of the industry’s top pioneers. Celebrity Stylist J. Bolin is also spearheading the evolution of limitless possibilities by producing full productions out of his all-inclusive Style Agency, which is the largest in the states.
KAUWUANE AND LONDON BURTON
PHOTOGRAPHER AND CREATIVE DIRECTOR
With over 10 years of experience in the professional photography industry, Kauwuane knows what it takes to create timeless and flawless images. Along side his wife and creative director, London Burton, they work seamlessly together to create images and visuals that are next level.
RUMBIE PRAISE
CELEBRITY MAKEUP ARTIST
Jekalyn Carr is an Answered Prayer to me. It was meant to be. She is the first celebrity in the United States that God blessed me to work with and, she is not only amazing and sweet, she is so welcoming and humble. She even invited me to join her glam team and honestly I am forever grateful. She has become a sister to me.
SHERILYN BENNETT ALBUM ARTWORK
Sherilyn Bennett is an award-winning graphic designer and certified brand coach with over 20 years in the creative field. Sherilyn consults with small business owners, authors, speakers and corporations on brand strategy and creatively crafting a brand of value. Sherilyn is often sought out for her practical way of teaching and application of brand implementation no matter what size the company or personal brand.
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HOW WELL IS YOUR TEAM? WRITTEN BY DR. WENDY TALLEY, LCSW
During this time of uncertainty, many employees are not sure what to expect when they return to the office. The idea of workplace wellness programs was to reduce medical costs and absenteeism of employees who complain of high levels of stress and unpleasant work conditions. For employees, it was designed to bring health coaches, mental health services, annual biometric screenings, on-site flu shots, lunchtime workshops and more health fairs throughout the year, not just during enrollment. However, improving wellness for employees in the workplace during the pandemic is vital. To do this we must listen to what employees are asking of managers and leaders to support their mental wellness. Employees are asking for:
In an article by Alan Kohll, creating a culture of wellness is described as the ideal approach for companies and organizations to get a return on their investment. A culture of wellness promotes a healthier and happier mindset, improved productivity, success, innovation, diversity, and inclusion. Mental and physical wellness should be a top priority for all companies so employees feel their employers care about them. Activities that cultivate a culture of wellness in the workplace include: Conducting a “Setting Intentions� exercise before each meeting Placing healthy snacks and options in employee lunchrooms and vending machines, Displaying positive mindset artwork
Flexibility to choose whether to
around the building.
return to the office full time or part-
Offering mindful walks 3x a day in an 8-
time.
hour workday.
More support for taking mental
Create an environment free from
health days as they readjust to the
judgment for employees to seek
new guidelines. More stringent safety guidelines to
services for mental and emotional
minimize the spread of Covid-19 and
Provide a space for social distance
other dangerous viruses.
engagement
A cap on work hours for those working from home; no after work hours emails and calls that require extended work time.
distress.
As we approach a new normal of masks, remote working, social distancing, slight forms of paranoia when a person coughs, increases the level of stress, and depression, I am asking employers to take seriously how their employees are adjusting. Do the right thing, be intentional and non-negotiable about cultivating wellness as we walk cautiously into the new world.
REMEMBER WHOSE YOU ARE WRITTEN BY RAINBOW HUFF WWW.RAINBOWINSPIRES.COM
We’re all dealing with a lot during these times of uncertainty and ambiguity. It’s times like these when the enemy tries to interrogate us and mentally wear us down. With so much confusion and unrest in the world, it can be hard to confidently face each day. It’s imperative that now, more than ever, you remember whose you are and the power that rests in that knowledge. Please take note of these gentle reminders: You are royalty! 1 Peter 2:9 declares “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession…” Even on your worst day, you’re still worthy of the crown that belongs to you as a daughter of The King. Wear your crown proudly. You are protected! When chaos swarms all around you, remember that you are covered by the protection of the Most High. Read Psalm 91 on those days or evenings when you feel like the world has become too much and rest in the security of God’s promises found there. You are beautiful! Don’t forget that you were created with an unmatched level of creativity and precision. On those days when you’re feeling less than stellar, remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your superpower is YOU! You are loved! God’s faithful love endures forever.That means that no matter how the world sees you or treats you, God’s love will never fail you or leave you. You are chosen! God has amazing things planned for your life. Ephesians 2:10 confirms “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.”
No matter what’s happening around you, remember who is at work within you. Now is the time to rise up in the face of adversity and show up as the gift that you truly are. Our worlds are ever-changing right now, but God is not! He’s the same yesterday, today and forever more. In this season of life, we’re all being tested, stretched and challenged. I believe we’re also being positioned; positioned for something far greater than we could ever imagine. May you hold tight to these gentle reminders as you take your position in this season of life. Be encouraged my dear Woman of More and know that you’ve been prepared for such a time as this. And finally, may you always be refreshed and renewed as you remember whose you are!
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18
A LIFESTYLE SHIFT LIKE NO OTHER – THE ADVENT OF THE CORONA VIRUS WRITTEN BY: TYNETTA BROWN
Seven months of navigating life during a pandemic and the resurgence of deep racial equity conversations have brought forth major shifts in our lives like no other experience we could have imagined. The mental, financial, and economic dynamics we are experiencing could fill volumes. Our lifestyles, routines, philosophy, and practice required multiple adjustments. Working and learning from home without a plan can certainly take a toll on any individual no matter how prepared we strive to be. But we can survive this pandemic and have substantive conversations about race along the way, with a little creativity, humility, and patience.
Establishing a “new normal” will require planning and diligence. Modification and moderation will be key. Get everyone in your household on the same page to help establish new ways of doing the same things you’ve always done in your daily routine and lay the ground rules for how everyone’s needs can be met. Have honest conversations about race and equity from your lens and respect the lens of others. Processing all of this concurrently requires some degree of compartmentalization in our minds. For example, an active family might continue getting everyone up and about at the same time. Devise a master schedule that incorporates some family engagement and check-ins with one another. Explore resources to find substitutes for the extracurricular activities your kids were involved in. Talk with other parents and devise common activities to support social interaction and peer to peer connectivity. Although, we should have some structure by now, prioritizing ZOOM meetings, virtual learning for your children and managing routine household responsibilities while trying to throw in relaxation, can be taxing. Finding balance will require you to step away and recognize that you are not the only one making these life adjustments. The entire world has had to shift its way of doing things while facing the ugly truths of its history. The prominence of discussions about race and certain realities in our country can strengthen us if we find constructive ways to process our feelings. Carve out time for you or your family to level set and examine what the remainder of 2020 2.0 will look like. Enjoy one another, find a hobby, move that side hustle to the front or just get to know more about those around you. If it couldn’t happen as needed pre-COVID-19, now is the perfect time to explore those opportunities on a deeper level. Hopefully, during this lifestyle adjustment, we were all able to create special spaces in our lives that move us to enhancing our mental, physical, and financial health and our home and now work environments. Without turning our world totally upside down, we can and will survive a pandemic without panicking and negatively succumbing to the impact of change.
18
THERE IS
PURPOSE IN YOUR PAIN WRITTEN BY INDIANA TUGGLE
WWW.INDIANATUGGLE.COM
THE ONLY WAY THE PAST CAN WORK FOR OUR GOOD IS IF WE SURRENDER, HAND THOSE BROKEN PIECES TO GOD, AND SUBMIT TO THE PROCESS.
I never wanted to be a writer. When I was a little girl I wanted to sing like Whitney Houston and dance like Paula Abdul. Then I was molested by a close friend as we played house in her bedroom. With the weight gain came the bullying. I ate my pain and told God all about it in my diary. By middle school I wanted to be a lawyer and advocate for the people who could not fight for themselves. The move back to Memphis, left me longing for the friends I left behind and vulnerable to another friend who also molested me. Before I could make it to high school, I would be molested two more times; yet I still wanted to become the first black female Computer Engineer. But promiscuity and a trail of unhealthy relationships caused me to forgo college in flight from the projects and in pursuit of a better life. As we get older, as we grow, as we come into our own, as life happens, and as experiences teach us who we are, the strength we never knew we had inside all somehow miraculously transforms us into the person we were always meant to be. But God knew. He knew that the bullying, the molestations, the domestic violence, and the bad relationships, though difficult, would become the platform He used to draw me to Him and bless others. God wooed me and I was intrigued by Him. He spoke to me in my sin, put people in my life to build my trust back in people, and communicated with me like I had never known or heard of. When I dedicated my life back to Christ, I didn’t know how to pray, so I reverted back to writing letters to Him like I did as a child. God began to speak to me and I wrote down every word. As our relationship grew and I trusted Him more, He began to expose the issues of my heart, and led me on a journey of healing and discovering my purpose. I document this journey in my first two books “Stop Asking Why Are You Single” and “Saved, Single, and Frustrated.” Despite what happened, what didn’t happen, or what we hoped would happen regarding our past or present. The love of God tells us that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. No matter what obstacles we face now, God is the answer and has the answer. We have the power to change every area of our lives. Though we can’t physically change the past, we can change how it affects our present, if we give it to God. Romans 8:28 states “And I know that all things work together for the good to those who are the called according to His purpose.” The only way the past can work for our good is if we surrender, hand those broken pieces to God, and submit to the process.
WHEN DID YOU DISCOVER YOUR MORE?
I discovered my MORE the moment I realized how my own personal pursuit of greatness inspired so many others to believe in and pursue their own idea of greatness. READ MORE
WHO IS DONNI WIGGINS?
Donni Wiggins is a powerhouse entrepreneur who stands as a voice of hope for people who desire to be more. She is a leading Business Development Coach for small businesses and helps entrepreneurs take the guesswork out of starting and growing wildly successful businesses. She started her business as a business coach in 2014 when she realized there was a need for more leaders whose desire was to launch people into action and not just inspire thought. Thought leadership is vital, but the element of actionable leadership is where Donni is most effective. Donni emerged as an entrepreneur as a result of losing everything she owned to the economic crisis of 2008. By 2009, she’d find herself in foreclosure and moving back in with her mom. As a single woman and mother, she realized that she had to make some smart and strategic decisions to bounce back and continue providing the life for her daughter that she worked so hard to build. Donni realized that she’d always read inspirational and how-to books, but never actually acted on the information - hence her mission to be an actionable coach. She worked in a hurry because disappointing her then 7-year-old daughter became her biggest fear. By 2010, Donni had started a business as a club promoter and owned a clothing store. By 2012, she’d learn that the retail industry was quickly transitioning into an online space, and against better judgment, decided not to ride that wave. Over the next two years, she continued to try new things, including the network marketing industry, where she amassed 6-figure success. It was then that Donni understood the power of the internet, the power of networks and the power of influence. Her life changed. She later decided that she wanted to build her own business as a Business Development Coach, outside of the network marketing industry. To date, Donni has helped thousands of people start their journey in entrepreneurship. She leverages her own experiences and influence to encourage entrepreneurship all over the world.
WHAT HAVE YOU HAD TO FIGHT WITH PERSONALLY FOR YOUR PERSONAL SUCCESS TODAY? The biggest opponent that I’ve faced in my journey to success is myself. Regardless of what other influence may have presented itself as an obstacle, it all still boiled down to me and how I reacted to and perceived that “obstacle.” Oftentimes, the ENEMY is the “INNER-ME.” And, once I realized that I had the power to win or lose in any battle, it became clear to me that my choices were only to win or learn (never lose). I don’t know a single person who didn’t have to overcome, fight and/or survive something along the way. The win is always determined by how we respond to our circumstances, naysayers and setbacks.
WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR GREATEST LESSON IN BUSINESS AND WHY? Clarity is power because clarity is where everything begins. It’s hard to hit a target when you don’t know what you’re aiming for. You have to become very clear in what you’re pursuing and then everything else begins to fall into place – the people, the resources, the opportunities. I became most aligned with my business and my audience when I became clear about how I could leverage my purpose to serve others. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE CURRENT PANDEMIC AND HOW ENTREPRENEURS SHOULD RESPOND TO IT? This pandemic has proven to be a wake-up call for everyone... especially entrepreneurs. When you choose entrepreneurship, you wake up every single day consciously choosing to create a path for yourself. That means also choosing to ride the inevitable waves of both the natural progression and attrition of business. None of us could have anticipated an almost immediate, global shut down, but now that we have experienced this, I believe entrepreneurs should be focused on diversifying how they secure their bag. The entrepreneur’s word of the year has undeniably been “pivot.” If you haven’t already, start thinking of ways to make sure your business is essential and recession proof. I saw a lot of entrepreneurs rise to the challenge and hit unimaginable milestones in their businesses in the midst of this pandemic – myself included. The common theme amongst those that continue to grow and exceed goals, was the ability to analyze, acknowledge and adapt. Analyze how this pandemic has affected small to big businesses, acknowledge that this is serious and requires you to adapt immediately to a new standard of serving your audience. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD? Far too many women settle in life, largely because of the roles and responsibilities we acquire along the way. We prioritize differently than men and somehow often end up delaying or deferring our dreams altogether, in the name of love, motherhood or something else. I, too, am a mother. And one of the things that I am most proud of is my decision to not settle... and see my daughter as my reason to go for it, rather than my excuse not to. Settling will force you to spend the rest of your life convincing yourself that you don’t want something that you really do want. You don’t have to choose between your responsibilities and your dreams. You have to strategize. Don’t let a lack of strategy be the reason why you talk yourself out of the true desires of your heart. The stakes are high... bet on yourself!
IT CAN’T BE JUST-US ROOTING FOR JUSTICE WRITTEN BY SHARON WILSON For decades, centuries even, we’ve been angered and made a lot of noise when racial injustice occurred. There were uprisings; and in the heat of the moment, we were all on board because something had to be done, we would demand justice. Weeks after the incident is over, we’d cool off and no or very little action is taken and no change took place because we had no backing; the movement quietly went back to the shadows. But, in the not so distant future, we’d find ourselves in the same situation, over and over and over again. It’s not just our fight. It has to be about equality and human rights. Whether you’re Black, White, Hispanic or Asian, we need your assistance, your influence, your persuasion. We can’t just start a movement, we have to see it to the end; see it all the way through. And in order for this to work, everyone has to do what they can from their purview. Our passion, our anger can be a beautiful thing, but don’t let your frustration stop the momentum, put your gloves on and fight the right way, it’s time to get in the ring.
The time is now, so we have to get while the getting’s good; we have to strike while the iron’s hot. We want to be heard and understood and that doesn’t happen, more often than not. Finally, it seems we can have open and honest dialogue. We’re trying to paint a clear picture so vision is not clouded by fog. Just so you know, we’re looking for systemic change. There’s a whole lot of things that need to be rearranged. Education, prison, healthcare and police; reform is necessary on so many levels. The laws of this country are economically, socially and racially disheveled. We don’t just need arrests of perpetrators, we need convictions. That breeds accountability and will help mitigate future friction. We can’t do it alone; everybody needs to play a role. That has to be part of our overall goal. The road may not be quick and easy; sometimes it will be downright hard and long. But we need your help to beat this; united we can win, only together can we stand strong.
WWW.IAMRONIESHASEATON.COM
Have you ever been that woman? I most certainly have! As a teenager, every day was an emotional roller coaster. I could not tell you if I was arriving or departing. I was dealing with the pressures of life, society and my social status. I soon realized that I was doing a disservice to myself. The way I would speak, style my hair, pose for photos, and dress were all in line with society's standards. Girl, society was spending my money and making all my decisions! Until one day, I was crazy enough to jump off the edge of that mountain and fly!
@IAM_RONIESHASEATON
As women, we face many challenges daily. Some days we are feeling high and mighty, while other days we feel low. Some days we feel pretty, while other days we feel we are not pretty enough. Some days we doubt ourselves, while other days we’re just plain ol’ crazy! Crazy enough to believe that if we jump off the edge of a mountain we can fly.
Now, most of us know that when you step outside the element of what society deems “normal,” everyone around you tends to think “Oh, she must be crazy!” She must be crazy to wear that outfit, to cut off all her hair, to think someone will love her looking like that, to think she can achieve greater. She really must be crazy to step out of society's norm. THAT GIRL MUST BE CRAZY! Yes, I am. I was that crazy and you can be that crazy, too! Once I made the brave decision to take back my life, I felt free! I literally felt like I jumped off the edge of the mountain with the biggest and strongest wings; soaring my way through life as a free woman with control of my mind and able to make decisions without society having a hold on me! Too often we never truly discover ourselves because the media and individuals around us are telling us what we should and should not do or be–writing us off by saying “We must be crazy.” It is time we set ourselves free! Girl, jump off the edge! You have all the potential to be a WOMAN OF MORE! Until you decide to jump, you will never know what life has in store for you. Believe in yourself and your ability to flourish. Reveal the greatest vision of you on purpose. I know you can do it because I was once you; but with determination to break the cycle, I pushed through! We are in this together! Come fly with me, I got your back forever! Are you ready to jump? Let society say, “Oh, she must be crazy!”
THE POWER
OF ONE
WRITTEN BY DR. TORRI LOVE GRIFFIN, LPC
Do you really understand the power you have to change the world? Yes, I mean you. Simple, solitary, singular you. This seems to be the world’s best kept secret because if you only knew the power you hold… if you only knew the influence you have… if you only knew the value of your very specific superpower… you would use it. You would make a difference. You would show up. You would speak up. You would speak out. You would be unstoppable. Here’s an example of what I mean. Let’s say you have a friend who’s in a toxic relationship and she asks you what you REALLY think about it. You decide to give her your whole viewpoint for the first time since they’ve been together. Then, while traveling home from work, you have a feeling that the guy sitting next to you on the train is struggling with something inside. You feel compassionate, decide to make his day just a little bit brighter, and you give him a genuine smile. Later, you find yourself at the store in line behind a man who accidentally drops his credit card on the floor. You remember the feeling of losing your wallet a year ago, so you pick it up and give it back to him. He looks surprised and thanks you.
These all seem like small and insignificant things but later you get to use hindsight, which they say is 20/20. It shows you things that weren’t apparent when you were back there in the moment. Now, when you look back and see that your girlfriend just barely made it out of that abusive relationship because of your honest conversation with her and now she’s with the man of her dreams, you recognize the power of that ONE conversation. Now, when you run into that man on the train a month later and he tells you that he was on his way to commit suicide but he’d told himself that if just ONE person smiled at him on the way there that he would change his mind, you recognize the power of that ONE decision. Now, when you watch the news and see that city councilman speaking about the enduring power of the human spirit and the person who actually gave him back his credit card at the store, you realize the power of that ONE random act of kindness. The truth is, you don’t really know how your choices impact others, you just have to know that they do. Most people underestimate the power they have - good and bad. I’d like to challenge you to recognize that your decisions to do or not to do certain things makes a difference in other people’s lives. A wise man once wrote, “for them that know to do good and do it not… they miss out on their opportunity to be the change in someone else’s life…” or something like that. Know the power of your ONE and use it on a daily basis.
Do you really understand the power you have to change the world? Yes, I mean you. Simple, solitary, singular you.
WRITTEN BY MALAIKA TURNER, PH.D.
PIVOTING TOWARDS PROGRESS! 2020 commenced with a bang! It will always be synonymous with the COVID-19 pandemic, the killing of George Floyd, civil and racial unrest, world-wide protests and the deaths of prominent people. What has taken center stage is a pandemic that has resulted in education, big brands, and small businesses being forced to PIVOT, in order to survive.
“Pivoting” is most recognized as a term used in basketball. A player uses their pivot foot to rotate around, backwards or forwards, while keeping that foot stationary. It can be subtle or dramatic, but its ultimate purpose is to create opportunities. In business, pivoting
COLLABORATIVE CREATIVITY 01
This is the idea of pulling two or three people together, that you trust, who have varying perspectives, skills, and resources. When you’re with them, be intentional and spend time doing what I call “skies the limit” thinking.
CONSTRUCTIVE CREATIVITY 02
After the Collaborative Creativity activity, dig deeper into your creative self and jot down ways that you can possibly transition your business. This can be done alone. Ask yourself: What is your business missing? Should you use a digital platform? Should you start training others online? Does our WHY still align with the pivot you’re about to make?
refers to a change that organizations make to improve their services or to respond to an abrupt change. It’s a survival technique used to keep a business moving forward. As social distancing, wearing masks, and remote work have become the new normal, these required practices have had an enormous impact on businesses and brands. It has opened up innovative thinking and forced business owners to step out on faith. I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing women who have shared their pivot experience and I’ve applauded them for their fearlessness. For example, a fashion designer quickly shifted from high end fashion to creating and distributing masks in mass quantities. A bakery went from selling baked goods in their boutique to selling decorating kits for parents to use, at home, with their children. A fitness trainer transitioned from face-to-face workouts to leading workouts on a digital platform. This is pivoting at its best. It’s being creative and slowing down to plan, but not stopping the progress!
I have been amazed by women entrepreneurs who have made successful pivots during this pandemic. The ideas that have been birthed and the lessons that have been learned are invaluable. Below are three considerations that entrepreneurs should contemplate while pivoting:
CELEBRATORY CREATIVITY 03
Jot down ways that you will market your exciting pivot. How will people know that you are making a change? How will consumers know that you’re excited about it? What social media sites will you use to express gratitude for the new direction of your business? Let your celebration be contagious. Ultimately, pivoting is designed to be exciting. It’s designed to uproot the “you” that is comfortable and unbothered. Pivoting is intended to spark something in you and your business, and guess what – it will be scary – it’s supposed be. Lean in, learn, then move forward.
P I S S GOKISS IS A
From one heart to another, gossip is a kiss. It makes my heart soar. I never knew breaking all the rules could be so fun. When I started to gush in admiration about the women in my life it felt like breathing. Falling in love is so bittersweet. Growing up, rules and fun weren't allowed together so I decided rules are made for breaking. Maybe that's why I love rock ‘n’ roll. It wasn't allowed. Then I fell in love with Steven Tyler. Definitely not allowed. I became a rebel, training my heart to gush gossip about the feminine. I realized that I wanted to inspire women to cherish their beauty and dare others to do the same. When I was in junior high school, I knew a mean girl. The pretty girls laughed at my belly and flat chest in the gym locker room. My mouth has always been large – so many teeth. One day the bona fide tough chick invited me for a physical confrontation. A duel different from the dance I enjoy today. With my exceptional vocal chords, I reassured her there would be no contest as she was bigger and stronger. I was already admiring the feminine in my challenge. Why, oh why would she want to beat little ol' me?
WRITTEN BY P’ALEX DILLONR
It didn't take much for Tough Chick to realize there were no guts or glory in beating me down. She admired me back for my finesse. She never thought I would speak to her that way. I had stumbled on something. What you admire admires you back. From that day, none of the girls pointed fingers and laughed at my naked body in the gym locker room. Tough Chick had put her stamp of approval on my existence offering to pummel anyone who molested my person in any way. Now gushing in admiration is my golden standard for describing women. It is my treasure to discover your unique beauty of infinite potential. How do you speak about the ladies in your midst? If she isn't there to defend herself, I hope you are gushing great things about her. I hope that if her character needs polishing you will have the courtesy to speak with her directly. Or, keep it to yourself. What you say about her buries you or makes you fly. Because what you say about others reflects back to you. If you can't hold back, focus on the juicy stuff spreading stories about how much you adore her. And, guess what? It's ok to fake it. So, here's to gossip. May it be juicy, sweet and make you fly.
FOLLOW HER