The Rider's Mag March, 2019

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Whats Shakin’

Pg. 5

Cruisin’ With Critter

Pg. 8

Lil Red

Pg. 20

Along the Parkway with Dingo

Pg. 23

I Am an Addict - David Rusk

Pg. 24

Jokes

Pg. 26/50

Twisted Spokes Astrology

Pg. 34

Gone But Not Forgotten

Pg. 35

Donny Petersen

Pg. 40

Jessie Lee’s Open Road

Pg. 42

Motorcyco Beau

Pg. 44

Bikers Friendly Guide

Pg. 52

Our Advertisers

Pg. 54

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MARCH

www.claresharleydavidson.com

March 9th Clare’s Harley-Davidson® of Niagara Tech Talk - Customization Workshop from 10 – noon. In this session, we’re going to discuss three aspects of bike customization: fit, function and style customizations.• Customization Ideas featuring handlebars, windshields, seats and so much more. Q&A session, coffee & light snacks provided. Reserve your seat today! Email lisa@clarescycle. 905-684-4647 Clare’s Harley-Davidson® of Niagara - 590 York Rd. Niagara on the Lake, 905-684-4647 www.claresharleydavidson.com

March 23rd Classy Chassis and Cycle Road Captain Seminar & Sharprider Information Session Come join the fantastic crew from Classy Chassis and Cycle, March 24th to become the best road captain you can be. These knowledgeable folks will teach you all in the ins and out that you need to know. The classes start at noon, and run for an hour long. For more information, please feel free to call; 1-888-292-8305 to register.

Located @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. or visit usedhd.ca

March 10th - London Swap Meet Off to London we go for the next swap meet at IBEW, 6688 Tempo Road. You won’t want to miss out on all the great people, and bikes. Look forward to seeing you there! For more info or Vendor spaces Call 705-321-0334 or check out www.motorcycleswapmeet.ca March 16th Strictly V-Twin BIG Spring SALE 10 AM - 4 PM It's here...Our Spring Sale! All jackets and modular helmets on unbelievable prices! 20% OFF windshields, fairings, glove...40% OFF grips. We got great prices on heated gear too! Join us at 29945 Highway 48 in Pefferlaw. Call us at 705-437-2290 or visit us at www. strictlyvtwin.com March 23rd Clare’s Cycle & Sports Ltd. Spring Fever - Shopping Event 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM We’re gearing spring. Check out the 2019 motorcycles, ATV’s, parts, accessories & merchandise. We’re geared up to ride. 91.7 GIANT FM Live on location with Chuck lafleur from 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. Enter to Win great prizes.

Door crasher sales. Great incentives on non current units. Save 15% off on regular priced merchandise, footwear, pre paid orders, parts & accessories. Save up to 50% off select clearance merchandise. Door Prizes & draws. (offers not valid on motorcycles, atvs or power equipment) Clare’s Cycle & Sports Ltd. - 799 Hwy 20W Fenwick, ON 905-892-2664 www.clarescycle.com March 23rd Clare’s Harley Davidson of Niagara Uncrating the Sun – Open House Shopping Event 8:00 AM - 4:00 PM 97.7 HTZ-FM FM Live on from 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. Enter to Win great prizes. Door crasher sales. Great incentives on non current units. Save 15% off on regular priced merchandise, footwear, pre paid orders, parts & accessories. Save up to 50% off select clearance merchandise. Door Prizes & draws. (offers not valid on motorcycles). Clare’s Harley-Davidson® of Niagara - 590 York Rd. Niagara on the Lake, 905-684-4647

March 24th - The Rider's Mag 20th Celebration Party 11:00 am until whenever In celebration of surviving 20 years, we are holding a party at Big Daddy’s at 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket will be the venue. We hope to have as many of our crew (past and present) out to party it up! Come on out and join us.(You have to be out at closing time though!)

Special Menu, Live Entertainment, Door Prizes, Draws and FUN, FUN, FUN! Did we mention FUN!

APRIL April 6 - 7 Toronto International Spring Motorcycle Show This will be the 30th Annual Spring Motorcycle Show! Over 300 motorcycles are purchased at the Spring Motorcycle Show each year. There will be 50 motorcycle clubs and associations exhibiting at the Spring Motorcycle Show this year! You can purchase your new bike right at the Spring Motorcycle Show direct from the dealer. There are many, many events going on, even more than usual! You will find The Riders Mag there, as well as, your favorite vendors! Toronto International Centre 6900 Airport Road, Toronto, Ontario. www.internationalcentre.com Saturday – April 6th, 9am – 9pm & Sunday – April 7th, 10am – 5pm FREE PARKING! To reserve booth space, discuss sponsorship opportunities, or book ad space in the Spring Motorcycle Show Program please contact us at; 905-771-0132 or peter@motorcyclespringshow.com.

MAY May 4th Bondslaves MC Mega Swap Be sure to take a ride out on May 4th to show these brothers some support. Bondslaves MC Ottawa Chapter Mega Swap Live Bands (MOTHERSHIP - LED ZEPPELIN & GREAT SCOTT - AC/DC), 50/50, Quality Vendors, Motorcycle Parts, Show ‘n’ Shine, Prizes, Licensed, Food Admission $5.00 Tables $20 each or 2 for $30 Call Scott for more info: (613) 240-3509, bondslavechurch@gmail. com.

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May 5th Fort Erie Swap Meet Be sure to come out to the Fort Erie Swap Meet this year! There is bound to be loads of fun, prizes and all the parts and accessories you have been looking for! Admission is $10 and kids are always free. There are vendor spots available for only $40! They will be located at the usual spot located at; 99 Ridge Rd. South Ridgeway ON. For more information give Pyper call 905347-2001 or 905-324-0793.

website and join us on Facebook to stay up to date with all the details as the date becomes closer. Website; HeroesHighwayRide.ca.

May 7th Riders, Bike Night Starts In the Blackstock area, or just looking to go for ride on a Tuesday night? Come join the great people from, Riders.

The host a Ride night, where all proceeds and donations go PTSD, First responders, and local shelter and support programs. They have prizes, Riders swag, great food and live entertainment. The fun starts @6pm! For more info; ridersmotorcyclegroup@gmail.com

June 12th Classy Chassis HD ROC & Roll Bike Night 5:30 - DUSK Live Music, Food Specials ALL PROCEEDS GO TO SICK KIDS! For more information, please feel free to call; 1-888-292-8305 to register. Located @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. www.usedhd.ca

May 8th Classy Chassis HD ROC & Roll Bike Night 5:30 - DUSK Live Music, Food Specials ALL PROCEEDS GO TO SICK KIDS!For more information, please feel free to call; 1-888-292-8305 to register. Located @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. www.usedhd.ca May 11th Strictly Swap Meet Come join the fantastic crew of Strictly V-Twin for their swap meet! It's bound to be an event you won't want to miss! They are offering free admission, or you can reserve a table. The doors open at 10am and they will be shutting things down around 1pm. You can find them at 29945 Highway 48 in Pefferlaw. For more information call us at 705-437-2290 or visit us at www.strictlyvtwin. com

JUNE June 1st Desiree’s Ride Join us for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher, along with raising funds for Chatham-Kent Victim Services and Chatham Kent Women’s Centre. Located @ The Royal Canadian Legion, 34 Catherine Street, Blenheim, ON. Registration begins at 11:00AM, kickstands up at 1:00PM, arrival at 4:00PM . For more info visit http:// desireesride.com.

June 1st Highway of Heroes Ride Join us for a fantastic, family friendly, fun filled day chocked with many special events and participants to mark our 10th anniversary! The 10th edition of the HHR goes on June 02, 2018 from Trenton, ON along the Highway of Heroes (401) to Memorial Park in Port Hope, ON. Website: heroeshighwayride.ca June 2nd Veterans Memorial Ride With the success in 2016 of the Birth of a Nation Ride the HHR organizers are proud to introduce the inaugural edition of our new annual event on the day following the HHR. The Veterans Memorial Ride will travel from Kingston, ON to Ottawa, ON. Be sure to watch the The Rider’s Mag - Page 6

June 6th - Bike Night Starts Thanks Gosh It's Thursday! Get your bike ready for the weekly Thursday rides at Classy Chassis & Cycles. Every Thursday night you can find the fellow riders @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. www.usedhd.ca

June 23rd, Bobcaygeon Bikefest Our fantastic friends from Bobcaygeon are hosting Bikefest once again this year! With live bands, great fresh food, 100+ vendors, all weekend camping and lodging, FREE ADMISSION!! This is always a great time to be had by everyone. Be sure to keep your eye out for a TRM booth! For Vendor infor please contact Krazzy; 705-793-1751 or krazzy@bobcaygeonbikefest.com. For corporate opportunities please contact Lenny; 416-5248321 or Lenny@bobcaygeonbikefest.com. Sponsored by; Hochberg Trial Lawyers.

JULY July 4th - Bike Night at Classy Chassis & Cycles Thanks Gosh It's Thursday! Get your bike ready for the weekly Thursday rides at Classy Chassis & Cycles. Every Thursday night you can find the fellow riders @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. www.usedhd.ca July 6th Strictly Show N Shine Come at 29945 Highway 48 in Pefferlaw. For more information call us at 705-437-2290 or visit us at www. strictlyvtwin.com July 10th Classy Chassis HD ROC & Roll Bike Night 5:30 - DUSK Live Music, Food Specials ALL PROCEEDS GO TO SICK KIDS!For more information, please feel free to call; 1-888-292-8305 to register. Located @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. www.usedhd.ca July 13th Lucan Baconfest Oink Oink, the smell of bacon is in the air! Baconfest is an event, you will feel foolish missing. Located in Lucan Ontario, you will find anything and everything to do with Bacon, and Bikes. Vendors of all types, show ‘n’ shines, prizes, live entertainment, and so much more! For more info give Teresa a call; (519) 227-1331.

July 27th Desiree’s Ride Be sure to register for the Peterbourogh Chapters 1st Annual

for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher. Located @Classy Chassis and Cycles, 1399 8th Line Smith, Lakesfield, ON. Registration begins at 8:30AM, kickstands up at 10:30AM, arrival at TBA . For more info visit http:// desireesride.com.

AUGUST August 14th Classy Chassis HD ROC & Roll Bike Night 5:30 - DUSK Live Music, Food Specials ALL PROCEEDS GO TO SICK KIDS!For more information, please feel free to call; 1-888-292-8305 to register. Located @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. www.usedhd.ca August 17th Desiree’s Ride Join us for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime.

We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher. Located @ The Knights, 12 Catherine Ave, Brantford, ON. Registration begins at 11:00AM, kickstands up at 1:00PM, arrival at 3:00PM . For more info visit http://desireesride.com.

Aug 25th- The Riders Mag Annual Show ‘N’ Shine Get your maps out, The Riders Mag is traveling to a new location this year. We have deciced to venture out into the wilds of Loretto on August 26th for our annual Show ‘N’ Shine. There is going to be great food, live music, great vendors, and of course the show n shine. We are looking to expand this year with the fun by MAYBE including some sort of biker games. Vendor booths will be available, and if you are interested in being a part of this years Show ‘n’ Shine please give either Critter or Chantel a call. 1-855-873-6680 or 289-763-4454

SEPTEMBER September 7th Desiree’s Ride Be sure to register for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher. Located @ The Knights of Columbus 6101 North Street, Niagara Falls, ON. Registration begins at 9:00AM, kickstands up at 11:30AM, arrival at 4:00PM. For more info visit http:// desireesride. com.

September 7th Riders 3rd Annual Poker Run Saddle up on that Iron horse and come out for a ride in support of PTSD! This will be Riders 3rd annual poker run, and it is promised to the best one yet! All the proceeds go to the support of PTSD treatment and care. Looking for a donation of $30 a rider and $15 per passenger, which inclds; live music,door prizes, great food and loads more! Registration @8:30 and kickstands up @ 11am. Registration forms are available, as well are, donations and sponsors. For more information please email; ridersmotorcyclegroup@gmail.com September 11th Classy Chassis HD ROC & Roll Bike Night 5:30 - DUSK Live Music, Food Specials ALL PROCEEDS GO TO SICK KIDS! For more information, please feel free to call; 1-888-292-8305 to register. Located @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON. www.usedhd.ca September 13th Port Dover Friday the 13th Get your babies polished and cleaned for this years Friday the 13th! There are sure to be your favorite vendors, delicious food and so much more!

Look forward to seeing you!!

September 19th-22nd Biketoberfest Pack up those bags, and book off your holidays for this weekend! Biketoberfest is one of the best events of the year. Sept 20th is the ride for flags, which leads you to the W.C.M.C Flat track. Then the festival starts on Saturday the 21st. For vendor information, or more general information please call; Bruce Bissle, 905-7146885.

September 20th-21st Strictly V-Twin GARAGE SALE Come join the fantastic crew of Strictly V-Twin for their Garage Sale! It's bound to be an event you won't want to miss! You can find them at 29945 Highway 48 in Pefferlaw. For more information call us at 705-437-2290 or visit us at www.strictlyvtwin.com

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March 2019 marks the completion of 20 Years for The Riders Mag! Twenty Years since JR MacRae and his bride, JB Ballentine came up with the idea that what was needed in the area that they called their stomping ground which was also called the Golden Horseshoe, a Biker Magazine, geared to the Harley Riders! In fact, they called it The Magazine for the Gnarly Harley Rider!

of the armed forces but do have many friends who are or were and they tried to drill that rule into my think little skull on numerous occasions! I should have known better!

I then volunteered my services as distributor and for other unspecified duties as needs presented themselves and they would be added to my job description! Sort of like a field promotion! This They figured at the time that it would probably last happened often! I was now doing Shows on a regular about 6 Months before it would fail and they would basis with JR’s Dad, Alex Senior as my mentor and move on to another adventure. But WTF? They might partner in crime! We would get up early and head to have some laughs along the way!

Shows and set up and man the booth until relieved at whatever hour JR and JB would stumble in!

But WTF? I Know! Hindsight is 20/20, and I only have myself The Riders Mag became popular and instead of to blame! This was the start of a long, painful and dyeing it grew and grew and like the Little Engine expensive downward spiral that brings me to my that Could, took on a life of its own! current state of affairs! I prefer to refer to it as a learning experience or trial by fire!

I first met them at a Motorcycle Show in Toronto where JR, JB, and seemingly their whole damn family I was asked to do this and that and the other thing were handing out copies of the 1st Editions of The and I happily complied! My delivery routes grew Riders Mag. They all have their own tales to tell and from a few bundles that I could load on Petoonia (My you can ask them some time! trusty Harley Decker.) and easily deliver on my way, to or from work, to long runs covering lots of real My particular Riders Mag adventure begins; I estate and required the use of my car and several had some publishing experience and had been a days to get it done! Then the car was no longer big freelance Cartoonist, drawing and selling cartoons enough and I moved up to a pickup truck! and illustrations for various publications in Canada and the United States for a couple of decades at this Next, I was asked to cover events, which required point! I also did political cartoons for several local purchasing a camera (Or a series of cameras, with newspapers and took much delight in taking shots each costing more than the previous one!) and they at the politicians of the day, such as Trudeau, (The now wanted me to write, which required a better Elder, but I’ve been tempted many, many times to go computer and faster Internet! My insistence that after his kid too! Time is what holds me back, not the I was not a writer fell on deaf ears and I was given lack of desire or ideas!), Mulroney, Bob Rae and all more assignments and found myself travelling the others! further afield! I racked up lots of miles for sure and burned many a tankful of gas all on my own dime!

I also had a great interest in motorcycles and had You see a trend here yet? Does the expression: been involved with bikes and bikers since the mid “Stupid is what stupid does!” come to mind yet? sixties and hung around with Clubs like The Wild Ones, MC. and others. I also did airbrushing and The Cops raided the Outlaws MC back in 2002. pretty well anything that caught my fancy!

Having many good friends in that Club and knowing some of the bogus charges and bullshit that went Among my list of customers were several motorcycle down during those raids, when asked by my Editor if publications like Easy Rider, Iron Horse, Outlaw Biker, I wanted to write something about it, I jumped at it etc. so I had a large stash of used cartoons that I was like a hungry fox on a wounded rabbit! willing to give them and said I could draw whatever they wanted me to draw.

I went very political with my views and many of my cartoons lampooned Cops (Particularly the * Side Note I understand that in the Armed Forces, Biker Squad, with much focus on Julian Fantino), there is an unwritten rule, and it is a damn good politicians and whatever else was pissing off me or rule, that I will advise all of you readers out there other members of the Biker Community! I started to heed and follow. The rule is “NEVER VOLUTEER getting a lot of interest from bikers of all stripes who FOR ANYTHING!”! However, I was never a member sometimes suggested subjects and ideas and I just The Rider’s Mag - Page 8

kept going!

I joined the OCC (Ontario Confederation of Clubs) as I thought that they were the ones to lead the fight against the wrongful treatment and discrimination of bikers by Law Enforcement, politicians and the mainstream media! I wanted Bikers and Bike Clubs to have a voice in the Media that wasn’t dictated by Law Enforcement who used the mainstream Media as their own private announcement system!

The OCC is growing rapidly and accomplishing much but they have a long way to go and much to do, to get fair and equal treatment under the law! As long as I am involved, The Riders Mag will offer our support!

In 2013 JR and JB indicated to me that they didn’t want to run the Mag any longer and wanted me to take it over!

I was not, am not and will probably never be the business man that JR was and is! I didn’t then and definitely don’t now have the bankroll that he had at his disposal! I was still driving truck for Canada Cartage System and didn’t have as flexible a schedule as they had. I had a deep love for The Mag and doing the job I was doing and despite my better judgement, and my wife’s advice, not to do it, I took it over!

It certainly hasn’t been easy at any point along the way! It hasn’t been cheap and it definitely hasn’t been a picnic but it has, at the very least, been an adventure and why would you settle for just having a life, when you can have an adventure!

I have had to wonder at times; why do I do this? I will never get rich because, as wise business decisions go, me taking over The Riders Mag, ranks right down there with buying some well irrigated land, sight unseen, in Florida from some guy in a bar in The East end of Toronto, who I interrupted as he was picking through ashtrays looking for the long butts! Can you spell adventure? I also got a great deal on a stretch of highway that runs across the top of Toronto, I am supposed to pick up the title next week when I meet him in a bar in Oshawa! He is hard to nail down! Then, I will be making money and we all will be farting through silk!

I have made a whole lot of friends along the way and there have been a lot of laughs that far outweigh the tears (If the scales are broken.), and I truly do enjoy doing what I do and most times I can say to myself; “There are times when I really like being me!” I have been treated so well by so many for so long and it has been a cherished experience!

I know that I’m not out of the woods yet, but if I do make it through, I got through it with the help of many friends and I couldn’t have done it without them! I look at how well I have been treated by all kinds of folks, some that I’ve just met, and marvel and wonder; why me? I will never understand it but; thank you!

In celebration of surviving 20 years we are holding a party on Sunday, March 24, 2019. Big Daddy’s at 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket will be the venue and we hope to have as many of our crew (past and present) out to party it up! Come on out and join us from 11:00 AM until whenever you want to leave! (You have to be out at closing time though!) there will be a special menu, live entertainment, door prizes, draws and plenty of fun!

We have had many characters come and go over the years and have now settled in with a crew of individuals who I think will pull it through! So right now, it is myself, doing whatever it is that I do. Brenda (The Beast) Managing Editor/graphics/ layout/ design/ sales/ office manager/ chief baker, moral booster and morals tester and she washes dishes and cleans up the joint when the mood hits and the moon and the sun align with Jupiter and Mars and Pluto is in the 13th house! Kris doing sales/ Biker Friendly Guide / and does events and the Horoscopes features, special planning and is in charge of Swag! Barbie, our little firecracker helps out when and where she can and may well play a larger role as we re-establish ourselves and get a firmer grip on The Rider’s Mag - Page 9

things!

Sadly, missing from our crew now, is Chantel (The Gazelle) who had helped me out so much after Al left unexpectedly in Aug of 2017! If not for her I would have closed up Shop back then! Recently, she has had to re evaluate her life situation, priorities and goals for both the present and future! She has decided to move on to explore other opportunities that better suit her present, personal situation!

I absolutely adored this young woman and still do!

She was so well suited to this job, perhaps, better than myself, and I will miss her! I had hoped that she would take my place when my time was done! She was a fantastic road companion with a magnificent smile and tremendous personality who required very little maintenance, never bitched about the weather that we rode through together, even when it got nasty!

She had such tremendous spirit and energy that was extremely contagious at events, both our own Show and Shines and everywhere and anywhere that we went! She could make an instant connection with people! The sight of her gliding gracefully, camera in hand, her long blonde tresses flowing behind her like a horse’s mane, running at full tilt in high heels through mud, crud and whatever else came along to get a shot of something or someone she spotted that would make an interesting picture was a common sight! It was a sight that befuddled many an observer as they stared in wonderment and disbelief at how she was able to run, seemingly effortlessly through crap while they slogged and stumbled along! One gentleman commented as he saw her start to head off through a field of mud to run some errand or other, how she expected to walk in those shoes, I answered that she doesn’t walk, she runs! I think he was actually going to bet that she would fall on her ass after a few steps, I ‘m willing to bet that he’s glad he didn’t! He just stared in awe and shook his head as she broke into a full gallop! She certainly made an impression wherever we went and was certainly easy to pick out of a crowd! I guess that you can surmise that I held Chantel in high regard! You would be right!

Unfortunately, this is a job that can sap your strengths and test your resolve pretty quickly! Early starts, long days that can stretch into two or more quite easily and plenty of hours spent out on the road in all kinds of weather! The deadlines that are like ghosts that just sneak up on you and long days can stretch into all night sessions that can last for two or three days! There are times when there are not enough hours in a day, days in a week, weeks in a Month or Months in a year! We don’t work 9 to 5! Weekends and Holidays are just other days to us! This job can beat you down even when you are well grounded and stable! If you are already dealing with the stress associated with being a single Mom with a young son, facing a housing crisis, with no transportation and trying to make do as an intern who makes nothing, it is understandable that she had to explore other options! She looked for part time work to squeeze by but there wasn’t much for her living where she was living! While she tried to do our stuff from home, the deadlines and schedules that are synonymous with publishing a magazine and have to be done on time, didn’t jibe well with her own! Combined with slow and unreliable, rural Internet services it wouldn’t and couldn’t work under those circumstances! Do I have any idea what kind of stress she was under? I think so! Was I sympathetic to her struggles? Again, I think so! But being the Boss I had to take charge of the situation and I knew that If we wanted to bring this Mag back from the brink we had to be in full control at all times!

She worked hard alongside myself, Brenda and Kris as we struggled to turn this business around and get it to the point where we can actually pay our bills, plan regular paycheques for our crew and dig our way out of the hole! We made the necessary changes and we are getting there! Unfortunately, things came to a head for her before we could put it all together and what I could now offer was just too little, too late and she broke just shy of that point and we unfortunately have now parted ways! I wish her well! She will be sorely missed!

The two-dollar price tag that we put on the Mag has really made a difference and has already eased a lot of the stress! It has been well received at Shows, events the various Swap meets that Kris and I have been attending around the Province! We are still revamping our delivery routes in various areas and working the bugs out of our subscription lists as well! If you have problems getting your Mags, please, give us a call!

The weather has been playing Hell with my scheduling and Murphy’s law of “Whatever can go wrong, will go The Rider’s Mag - Page 10

wrong, at the worst possible time!” has been played out in spades many times as I try to get everything back on track and running smooth! I’ve been running like crazy, putting on tons of miles and at times, seem to be getting nowhere fast!

Last Month I drove out to Windsor where I met up with my kid Brother Larry and he went with me to some of the deliveries and I introduced him as my new Windsor and area guy! We went to visit Nash at Leather King and then on to Trike My Bike and repeated the same procedure! We also met with one of our contributors, Rick Gravel who also used to deliver in the area but his back is extremely screwed now and can’t handle the riggers of Mag delivery anymore!

Larry said he would do it and I left Windsor happy and content, knowing that I had one problem solved!

Right up until the next issue came out and I got the call informing me that Larry had just started with a company installing windows and doors and could no longer do it!

I was already two days behind schedule due to shitty weather and storms closing highways all around me!

Somewhat frustrated, I headed out on my Westerly run, intent on doing something productive for a change! My trusty F150 plowed steadfastly and sure footedly through the daily ration of the crud that Mother Nature has been serving us for what seems like a two-year stretch! I slogged through Orangeville where I stopped in at Jennies’ Leather got a patch sewn on my jacket and delivered her Mags! I then headed down through the same old crap to Guelph to RnR’s fine store and then to Kitchener to Meetz’ Small Engines! I got the grand tour of the shop and was really surprized at the size of the shop and the amount of work that goes through the doors there!

He even machines heads for Harleys! This is why I love getting out delivering and meeting all the fine folks who have carried the Mags and supported us with their advertising dollars for years!

could have been mauled to death by the two vicious pit bulls that they have as guard dogs, if they had woken up! One opened one eye for two or three seconds, and in that short period of time, had sized me up as either OK or too old, too fat and way too slow to get out of the shop with anything of value or they would have immediately sprung into action! I’m going with he thought I was an OK guy!

Now I was in for the long haul out to Windsor where I was to meet an old friend and sometimes contributor to The Mag, Ted McCabe aka Cheyenne, and to swear him in as our newly minted Magazine distribution dude in Windsor, for the time being at least as Ted is a busy guy with lots of places to go and people to meet and life to live so he has even more stories to tell! So, you Windsortonians watch out now, ‘cause there’s is a new Riders Mag Dude in Town. He’s on the other side of that great handlebar moustache! I think I might have even hired him a sidekick when he gets back from Florida he will confirm! It was now late and dark and the traffic coming in towards the bridge sucked the big one!

I don’t know my way around Windsor other than straight to wherever I was going in the Truck when I drove for Canada Cartage and then straight back out of town when done! Now I use my GPS and again straight from one place to the other if I know which one to go to first! Other than that, I don’t go there!

Nothing personal, I just don’t get there much! So, I was stuck there in a long line of trucks and other cranky drivers just waiting for an exit or a break!

I made my way through to Woodstock and dropped at NCK and the ABATE and Bacchus Ch’s before slipping and sliding out to Ingersoll where I dropped at Tiny’s Cycle!

As I approached London things seemed to be improving and by the time I left Rocky’s H-D the snow had stopped and the temperature was climbing! PD Restoration was my next stop and after visiting with Phil and the Lovely Lisa a while, I moved on up the road to beautiful downtown Lucan and Mike and his crew from Hogtown regaled me with stories about the lustful life of Lucanites during the Winter! Scary stuff! Sent chills down my back and I had to leave!

It was on to the wilds of Strathroy where I restocked Mid West Cycle Supply with fresh Mags before moving on to Scotties Cycle on Head street and then on down the road to Easy Acre Machine where I The Rider’s Mag - Page 11

It was now late, I was tired, thirsty and hungry and lucky for me Ted knew of an establishment close at hand that he said had fine food, cold beer and a few lovely ladies to serve them I figured it was break time!

We sat, talked, ate some of the good food and washed it down with some nice cold ale! No not 50!

But I pretend really good and it was cold, wet and an ale! Hell, you can’t have everything!

Ted is well known around Town and there were always people dropping by the table to say hi!

Now Ted is a story teller extraordinaire, and I could absolutely sit and listen to him for days at a time! It was one story after another, the time was flying by and I still had to make it to Chatham and hopefully get back to Newmarket that night! So, I loaded Mags from my truck to Ted’s and pointed my truck east towards Chatham and my last delivery of the day at The Bacchus CH.

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It is always a long and tedious drive through this stretch of the Province and it can be a challenge to stay awake at the best of times but I kept on trucking and with a couple of well scheduled stops to grab a coffee and a light snack for the road, I made it back to Newmarket around 1:00 AM, tired, but very satisfied at what I’d accomplished! Up again at 5:00 Am as my little dog doesn’t care that you’re tired!

She is hungry! Get up and feed her and let her do her business if you want peace! Then I answer some e mails and hop back in the truck for more of the same, just a different direction! I’m getting there and could probably do a whole lot better if the damn weather would co-operate! Be patient, it’s still a work in progress!

Hip’s Open House 2019 I took our new man Kris along with me so he could meet some of the people whom he would be dealing

with on the phones as it is always nice to be able to put a face to a name or visa versa!

We made decent time getting there, despite some shitty weather for much of the way!

I was happy to find a parking spot just vacated by someone else and quickly squeezed into the spot as good parking spots at this event are hard to come

time the big crock pots full of that World-famous chili and the meatballs arrive if you leave hungry there is something wrong with you!

If you want to know what the newest trends in motorcycling are or the direction riders are going take a look around this shop and you will know! Hip’s and crew keep up to date and try to be ahead of the curve! There were several interesting projects on the benches as they do some awesome performance work here and pride themselves at being able to give you all the horsepower that your machine is able to give and maybe just a little more!

I was happy to run into my buddy Dennis who is all excited about getting his new ride on the road! I’m looking forward to seeing it! He filled me in on some of the stuff that is happening with the OCC (Ontario Confederation of Clubs) these days! It is encouraging to see the growing interest among more and more riders in standing up for the rights of Bikers in this Province!

by! I grabbed my camera and a bundle of Mags and we headed on in, through the always spectacular well laid out and super neat showroom! It is always chock full of great looking bikes chrome goodies, accessories and clothing and made our way over to say hi to Wayne who was holding down the fort

We still had places to go and things to see that day so we left before the official 3:00 whistle that signifies closing time for the shop and the real open house comes alive!

It was a great time, as always, guys! The shop itself, the people connected with it and the replica of the Harley shed made quite an impression on Kris! It gave him a real insight into what kind of shops are out there, the kind of work they can perform and the solid stand-up people that there are out there! I bring people like him around because I believe until

behind the counter! It was busy as usual and the sale prices had wallets coming out faster than a fat hungry biker on a pile of chicken wings and a cooler of cold beer!

This is a very popular event and attracts riders from far and wide as that is the customer base here!

When you do top notch, honest work for fair prices, that is what happens! Word gets around! Customers find you! That is what Hips is all about and what their reputation is built on! That is the way Jim did things and how he taught his Son, John and his crew how to do it and John honours his fathers reputation and memory by carrying on in a way his Dad would be proud of!

There is never a shortage of people to talk to here and never a shortage of great food to munch on! Munch be damned! If you graze the large table for a while by the The Rider’s Mag - Page 13

they meet the people they deal with they really don’t know much and visa versa!

Brothers of the Blade 2019 Throttle Itch Party This event has changed a lot over the years as times have changed many of us have aged along with some of the membership in the Club and many of us don’t party like that any more!

It is still a great party and they still raise money for the WISH (Working In Support of the Handicapped) Foundation which is The Clubs own registered Charity that provides funding for projects and other needs of various Group Homes throughout the Region. Things that aren’t covered or go underfunded by Government programs!

I couldn’t stay long as I had to be up early the next morning and still had things to do before I crashed for the night! Hell, I even forgot to bring my camera, so sorry, no pictures but take my word for it, they are a fine-looking bunch, every last one of them!

It was great to see all the Brothers of the Wheel members up from West Virginia and Ohio to help make the night a success!

Great time guys! Awesome food! See you next year!

Bacchus MC Beachville Show and Shine Mother Nature can certainly be a nasty bitch when she wants to be and apparently, today, she wanted to be or for the morning at least! The grumpy old hag threw all kinds of crap at us, snow, freezing rain, high winds, and probably a few more random things that we didn’t notice due to all the other stuff that she challenged us with on the drive to Beachville!

Kris came on board at just the right time of the year, so he could really get the full Riders Mag Roving Reporter experience! No Kris, it is not all cold beer, pretty girls baring their bountiful boobs so you can take their pictures and riding motorcycles down picturesque countryside’s on warm sunny days!

There isn’t any Santa Clause or Easter Bunnies either!

Wake up and tell me if I’m still on the road!

One thing is for sure though! You really had to want to go to a swap meet to brave all that crap weather!

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We really wanted to go and we did!

We rolled in a little later that usual but we got there!

I think the weather scared off some of the less hardcore or less dedicated Swap Meet aficionados as there were lots of spots in the parking lot! We rolled in and found our own Stitch or Swap Meet Sue, as I call her already set up and she and her main man

George had things well in hand but had saved us a spot at the end of what we would affectionately call official The Riders Mag table for the duration!

All the usual vendors were out along with a few different ones! Fred Hale was occupying his usual large space and seems to do as much buying as he does selling! It was nice to see Dino’s smiling face over top of a gleaming pile of goodies that would find their way onto someone’s pride and joy at a

good price and Dino’s smile would grow proportionate to the number of parts he sold and wouldn’t have to pack up at the end of the day!

I had heard that Sean McCooey wasn’t running the World-Famous, Fort Erie Swap Meet this year and had let The Fort Erie BRO Chapter take it over! I saw Perfectly Pretty Pyper and her partner in crime, Cat manning or in this case, womenning the Booth and they wandered over to confirm! Sean has put a lot of time, energy, effort and imagination into the event over the Years, but we all have our time and need to know when to step back or we perish!

You could tell that the nasty weather had stopped or let up just by the way the crowds all of a sudden swelled and the noise factor grew! Damn! We had us a Swap Meet after all! It was a good time but I know attendance would have been better if Mother Nature wasn’t such a C--- at times!

We drove back in sunshine! Not warm sunshine but sunshine, none the less! The response to charging for the Mag was still very positive and it is making a difference and we come away feeling good! I feel we are fairly unique and give good value as we have information about local events and happenings in the Biker Community! We cover the deaths of those who have lived this lifestyle and pay proper tribute to them when we are provided the information! We cover many of the biker events who advertise with us and support us through their advertising dollars and I have yet to see another publication out doing anywhere near the same, if at all! We are a niche publication! We deal with the lifestyle and those involved! We are Bikers doing this for Bikers and proud of it!

It costs us to operate our cars, trucks and Motorcycles, to pay the heat and hydro in the office, to update our computers and equipment, to feed ourselves on the road and to pay our taxes! The costs of printing rise constantly as does the price of paper and everything else!

I’m not one of those who are easily offended or traumatized by every little thing but, when someone comes up and gleefully reaches out and grabs one or several copies of The Riders Mag when he thinks they are free and when it is pointed out to him that we are now charging $2.00 for a copy, throws it back at us with a look of disdain and stomps off, to me that is insulting and he can kiss my fat white ass! You obviously didn’t want or need any of the content in it in the first place! If it isn’t worth $2.00 to you, it isn’t worth anything, so leave it for someone who does want it and appreciates the content and the work it took to compile it, package it and get it to you in the form of a magazine it isn’t for you! Don’t give me your Bullshit attitude! If I have to explain it to you in more simple language you wouldn’t understand it anyhow! It hasn’t happened often but it has happened and I guess it is just life in the fast lane!

Big Al’s Swap Meet 2019 I tell you this, I have very few good words to say about Mother Nature and her ways with the weather at the best of times! I have fewer nice things to say about weather forecasters and weather Channels, be they on radio, Television, or any other medium!

I had been hearing nothing but bad things concerning the weekend weather and how this Sunday there were severe weather warnings issued, predicting the severe weather warnings, warning us of severe weather and how Sunday we should all remain indoors cowering in fear with our survival kits and extra clothing with stockpiles of food, bottled water, gasoline and of course, toilet paper, that was sure to be in short supply when the full fury of Mother Nature comes to town! Better still, evacuate the entire Province (As long as we get it done before Sunday) as the winds would blow us clear across Quebec to the East coast where we would perish in even more severe weather, far more severe than here for sure eh! We were all doomed!

Don’t venture out to that Swap Meet! No rare original Harley carburetor, still in the box and still having that distinctive new carburetor smell, for that panhead that you have been searching for, the past 12 years so you can finally get that old girl back on the road, could possibly be worth risking life and limb in what could only be described as Armageddon!

We drove out on full alert, searching the horizon for any funnel clouds the size of Manitoba but didn’t actually see one! It was breezy and the truck may have shuddered from time to time and there was a flash or two of lightning but that was about it!

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It was kind of anticlimactic and disappointing to tell you the truth! It would have made a much better story for you faithful readers who have come to expect true tales of adventure and daring do, to be certain! You want to hear how we risked death to attend Big Al’s Swap Meet! Or Critter faced certain death, stared the Reaper square in the face and yelled a defiant “Fuck You!” I’m getting a deal on these motorcycle parts before Fred Hale can scoop them up! That would have been a story! Or perhaps “Critter and Kris get blown off the highway into Hamilton Harbour while enroute to Big Al’s Swap Meet but managed to drive out on the sludge that came to the surface by the churning water as it provided a remarkably sturdy and smooth surface!

Send Memo to the Hamilton Works and Highway Maintenance Dept.”

But no, we got to Dundas and to the venue in good time and got unloaded and set up without incident!

What was obvious though was many others took heed of the weather warnings and predictions of doom and gloom as attendance seemed to be less than usual.

This has always been a truly great swap meet and has always been really well attended! The BacchusMC

do a fantastic job here and take great pride in this long standing traditional event! People look forward to it and are usually lined up outside long before the doors open at the usual 10:00 AM and then it

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is elbow to elbow, cramped space to the extreme, until afternoon when it lets up a bit! Not this year however or so it seemed anyhow! It might have been that they admitted people at 9:00 instead of 10:00 and the lineup never got formed and the early birds got in, got what they were after and left early.

It was still a goodsized crowd but to me, it never got that hectic feel to it! When they look at the numbers it will tell the true story but I would still call a very successful event and I still think Ma nature is a bitch and that all weather forecasters should have hot lead poured down their throats! Does that sound

extreme? Those pills just don’t seem to be working anymore!

We got Kris all set up at a great spot just inside the front door and the Mags and Swag moved very well throughout the day! Our other cartoonist Mr. Mike AKA Mac 13 showed up and kept us company for the day! Back from the dead, former Publisher/ Editor of The Riders Mag, JR MacRae showed up for an unexpected visit! I didn’t see him being followed by a crew of flunkies with stretchers and equipment designed to bring him back to life again so I assumed he is feeling better! I don’t mean to make light of

health issues but I am a cartoonist and humourist for fuck sake, and I try to find humour in everything!

Health stuff to the point where you die one or two times, is scary stuff! Good luck JR, losing some of that weight probably is a big help!

Anyhow, in walking around I saw a lot of great deals on a whole lot of stuff and as the show progressed I saw many of those great deals being carried out by many happy people! The goods and the deals are out there, you just have to get out early to get them!

Again, I have no shortage of people to talk to at these events and this none was no exception and by the end of the day I am horse and can hardly talk and that is why I think Godzilla always looks forward to me attending! Her evenings are quiet!

All in all, it was a good day spent with a whole lot of great people who all talk the same language, motorcycle!

See you all next year!

There are lots of Swap Meets on the near horizon, The London Swap Meet, Peterborough Swap Meet, Fort Erie Swap meet and Fred Hale and family are having a Swap Meet at their store Strictly V Twin in Pefferlaw once again! Watch your friendly neighbourhood Riders Mag for all that is Shak’n and Bake’n in the Biker Community!

Come on out to the Spring Motorcycle Show at the International Show, April 6 – 7, 2019 There will be a lot of stuff happening in our booth, we will have some new swag and the latest copies of The Riders Mag. Donny Petersen will be out autographing copies of his books and meeting and greeting all of his many fans! Our whole crew should be out as well, so come on out and say Hi to your favourite writer! I have also given space to a group looking to have laws such as helmet laws applied fairly and equally for all riders and not just certain groups or religions. This is of course in reference to the exemptions recently given to riders of the Sikh Religion who no longer have to wear helmets to ride their motorcycles!

I have been asked to speak at the upcoming OCC (Ontario Confederation of Clubs) Convention this coming March 23, 2019 in St. Catherines! I believe in the work that this organization does and the work that still needs to be done is vital! The Riders Mag fully supports them in their efforts to bring fair and equitable treatment to the Bikers in Ontario and all Provinces and Territories in this Country! We are Citizens and deserve to be treated like Citizens and not discriminated against because of our dress, means of transportation! Motorcycle Clubs are not gangs! They are Clubs! It gives Law Enforcement more strength by using terms like gangs in reference to Motorcycle Clubs! They use it to single Bikers as criminals, even when no criminality has been demonstrated or has or even, can be proven! They use the term to suggest criminality where none exists! There is strength in numbers! Come on out and check out what they have to say and what they do! To be informed is to be armed for your own protection! Find out how to separate the truths that exist from the lies and the myths that are being fed to you by those who seek to rule rather than serve!

Be part of the solution!

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CUPCAKES! Did I stutter? CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES. I know this is a motorcycle mag, but I got cupcakes, thanks to Longley HD and their Bikes, Blues and BBQ event held in February. With the weather being what it has been (shitty), I’ll do anything that involves bikes right about now. You throw a cupcake in there, I’d be your bitch! Lol (just kiddin’) Love you Mike!

So, Kate, Rod, Mike and I decided to take a run to Peterborough for the event. Heard there was a band, some new bikes to drool over (give-in), deals, and of course, cupcakes. Did I mention chocolate cupcakes? I wasn’t sure.

Walking in, you couldn’t miss Linda Brown with her Pinky Swear booth. It’s bright pink! (I bought a black shirt off of her cause pink just isn’t my thing. It’d make me look like a cupcake!

Ha! Get it? Sorry. I need therapy). I did notice all the swag she’s now got going on. If you haven’t heard, she does a huge campaign on distracted driving.

And it’s catching on!

This summer, there’s quite a ride going on and I encourage you to attend, as we’ve all been impacted by distracted driving, one way or another. She’s on FB and it’ll be on my page, so I’ll keep ya posted.

Turning around, and there it was. My oasis. The carousel of cupcakes. In all colours of purple, blue, pink and white frosting. By the look on my face picking one out, you’d think that was my reason for living. I didn’t know Mike was watching me, but he saw the cupcakes and knew my ass would be over there in mere minutes of locating the tasty table of delectable ‘straight The Rider’s Mag - Page 20

to my ass ‘n hips’ desserts!

It’s pretty great when you’re wandering around, admiring all the shiny new bikes, shoving cupcakes in my face, and having people stop to talk to you. (Oh, and don’t try mounting a beautiful bike with said frosting on your person.

I’m fairly certain there’s an employee in a linebacker position and I’m sure the tackle would throw my back out!)

I have no couth, I’m still eating. While running into so many people I’ve not seen in so long. Marie and Wayne from Riders, a couple of Windsisters, and Harley the Chihuahua. In all his leather glory. I just had to say hello as Harley was far more bike ready than I was.

Lately, I’ve been looking for paint ideas for my ride.

As you know, I’ve got a red alligator seat, and it’s been difficult to find just the right paint scheme for the rest of the bike. Sneaking through the rows of rides, I saw it. A black, shiny bike with a blue flame-like design on the tank.

Only, mine would be red. Not a skulls design like this one, but alligator design in the flame-like swipe of the brush.

Thoughts? Hell, if you got any ideas, shoot me a line cause I am about as creative as an orangutan. Any and all ideas are encouraged.

Now because I have the attention span of a flash cube (for all your millennials, google it. It’s well before your time), I must rekindle the conversation regarding Riders. These fine folks have a FB page that is far more informative than my lazy ass is. Plus, they have a webpage. They do so much for PTSD that has a special piece of my heart. I bought a lot of their swag too. And damn it, I keep forgetting to order Mike a sweater.

These fine folks do a get-together at Rhinos in Bewdly over the shitty cold months.

Next meet up is March 26 and again April 23 at Rhinos

Roadhouse, 6 pm. A pound of wings, draft beer and fries for $13, 15% off all other orders. This is a great ride-to location in the warmer months on your bike, but I’ve never been when the snow’s flying. Guess I’m going. Marie also told me of some fun stuff at their booth at the next Spring bike show in April. Arm wrestling (for fun of course), a board for any and all to put up flyers, cards,

whatever to get your event known.

As well as other little fun ideas that you’ll just have to show up for to see.

And don’t forget, support these folks because just like distracted driving, PTSD hits most of us all, real close to home.

Now, on the same day as Longley’s event, Classy Chassis had an event also. It was their Winter Denial Shop Party.

Find some deals, talk some shop, eat some baked goods!

But alas, we were too late. Nothing left but one sad, lonely pastry.

So, Kate and I checked out the deals on HD wear and caught up with Josh (Did I mention, I made their calendar?) and Mike and Rod sat on almost every bike there, Mike I’m sure comparing each one to his elusive unicorn that is the Indian Motorcycle! They did have a number of bikes on display, and by the looks of it, their prices must’ve been good because I saw a few newly minted ‘SOLD’ signs on some pretty little numbers. This is where I got my ride after all.

Now by this time, I was getting hungry. Hey! Shut up.

Lol It’s called winter fat and it’s there to keep one warm in these colder temps.

I’m pretty excited that the warmer weather is mere weeks away. We are going into March, and usually by April, the babies are out and polished and ready for the beautiful sunshine.

Now, Mike and I did take a five-day winter break, and went off to Florida. Now, getting there, I was quite impressed with my weight (obviously, I’d not yet attended the cupcake tabl…. I mean, bike parties), but by the end of the fiveday vacay, it was just sad.

No spanx would save me now!

And to top it off, we missed the Thunder by The Bay in

Sarasota. Oh, and I only got a tan on my right shoulder.

I’m.not..kidding. Who does that? Really??? Moving on.

I did get to walk the beach, gather my shells, and based on Mike’s picture, sometimes look less than graceful climbing on and off the platform. But it was warm, and that’s really all that mattered. Next time though, I think we’re taking the bikes. If Mike has his way, we’ll buy a rental down there.

Mike got to go golfing with his Papa, and oh, we got a real pretty Dodge Challenger to drive. And this one had a set a balls on it (that’s so crass but the sound of this car was almost as delicious as a motorcycle!) When you shifted that gear (you could go auto or manual, and I do love a manual muscle car) it would go like snot! It was definitely fun. I did tell Mike to be careful as he may wake up one day, find the car missing, then call me to find out I’ve either ended up in Ft Lauderdale or I’ve been arrested, and he needs to pick up the car LOL! Mama Bradshaw and I did take an opportunity to grab brunch, and OMG her sandwich was ridiculous. I had no

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idea they made just a basic club sandwich larger than my head! Poor thing, she had no idea how she was gonna eat it. (She is very much lady-like, with far more couth than yours truly). Bless her heart, she ate a quarter of it. Man do Americans know how to eat!

While in Florida, we caught up with some friends of ours from back home. I’ve mentioned them before. Remember the couple that we continually got lost with heading to Lake George for Americade? We’ve been at Dover with them too. Well, they had rented a little spot in Largo, so we caught up with them for a little beverage and late night dinner. And of course, selfies. And yes, alcohol was involved. But they look so cute!

Hey! Do you watch Ride with Norman Reedus? Well you should. It’s a great little bike show and just recently, they featured a ride in England. I have a platoon in England!!!

Did you know? Well, I bring this up because as we were watching, Norman and his group of bikers were chatting with a couple of fellas that had the very same British Military patch that adorns my vest! The very one this group of riders sent to me! I was so excited, I had to hit rewind. If you’re reading this guys, tell me which one of you fellas in England was on! I want an autograph! LOL With April and May upon us, the events are now trickling in. I’ll be at the bike show in April, and I’m sure we will be at a few early bike events, weather permitting. (I guess that means I better get at my whitewalls and paint!)

I leave you now with this, I’ll try to help keep you informed on things by posting them on my FB page at L’il Red “The Riders Mag” Central and Eastern Ontario. You can also catch me by email at lilred@theridersmag.com. Got an event coming, hook me up with the details. It’s that easy.

Luv ya!

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As the column name implies, this monthly contribution to the Riders Mag will cover events primarily in the Niagara Peninsula. Hard to come up with a catchy name for a column…a few rock song titles came to mind, but none quite fit.

So, for now, it’ll be the Parkway theme. Local riders know the Niagara Parkway and visiting riders soon find it !

Seems as Mother Nature has playing games with us…bitter cold one day, and spring like a few days later, then repeat. Like all riders, I’m getting a bad case of Parked Motorcycle Syndrome (PMS), but hopefully soon, Spring will make an appearance, and life will be back to normal.

So, what’s been going on ? BRO Niagara had their annual Dinner & Dance January 19th. Sorry guys, blowing snow and near white out conditions, made it a little sketchy to wander out on the roads.

As always though, they had a great turnout so I’m told. Speaking of BRO Niagara, they will be holding their annual Cover the Kids charity ride Saturday May 4th. This will be the 36th annual ride which attracts hundreds of participating riders each year. It’s also one of the oldest and largest Motorcycle Awareness rides in the province, if not the country. The fun part of that ride is when a couple hundred bikes and riders go through Niagara-on-the-Lake in one long group. The tourists go nuts videoing and picture taking !!

There’s a party at the end complete with a band. If you have never been, you should put it on your calendar.

The Spring Motorcycle Show at the International Center (April 6 & 7) will soon be here. Be sure to visit the Riders Mag booth to say “Hi” to Critter and crew and get your copy of the Mag. If you haven’t noticed, there is now a toonie charge per copy for the Mag. Rising costs in printing the Mag are the primary reason for this. I’ve personally heard a few people bitch about charging for a copy since it’s been free for so long, but again, personally, I don’t know how they managed to put out a product for free for so long. It’s only a toonie….a cup of coffee basically, and will keep the Riders Mag going in the future. What other publication keeps us riders in the know as to what’s going on and covers our events ?

None.

In the News : BRO Port Colborne has taken over management of the Fort Erie Swap Meet from Shawn McCooey. Shawn has done a wonderful job of promoting and running the swap meet for years but felt he needed a break. It’ll be all the same with possibly a few tweaks that the fine people at BRO Port Colborne will incorporate. The date is May 5th and will be at the same place, Ridgeway Arena, Ridge Road.

Mark Winner has retired !! After 40 years in the business, first starting out with Deeley HarleyDavidson, and the last 25 years with Clare’s Harley-Davidson, Mark decided it was time !!

Congratulations Mark and enjoy retirement !!

That’s it for me for this month. If your club has an upcoming event, be sure to let me know so that I can be there for the Riders Mag .

Ride Safe !

Dingo Email: dbarber11 The Rider’s Mag - Page 23

By David Rusk

on1wheel.dr@gmail.com Calgary. Waiting and wearing away, wanting to be back home.

The 3 hour layover was beginning to grind on me as I waited to fly north, to where in our individual ways, the foolish ventured to work.

“What’s up?” Call display told me my wife was there but muffled shouting answered me, out of reach somewhere in the background.

“Lisa ?” something else now and it puzzled me. The thump of helicopter blades cutting the distant humidity and I thought how strange, because she’s at the racetrack back in Ontario with our son and the only reason a helo would be there is…

“Lisa?” growing concern now.

Leading into the season Adam had struggled to ready his ancient RM125 and his frustration and disappointment showed as his dreams of racing dashed away from him. Spurred by my own lost hopes of road racing success it was clear what I had do. Adam started that MX season with a new KTM 250 SXF and matching gear and he was fast!

“Hello!” Please I thought, answer me. The helicopter was close now, threatening to drown out any reply.

I never again want to hear my wife make a noise like she did then because it will break me. A moan, choked by tears and some terrible animal sound.

Frightened and helpless. As her words began I tried to maintain composure in the busy airport.

“Adam. Alone. Help me.” Like an auditory strobe light those words burnt black after images on my psyche, flickering and then a word came that I understood but refused to comprehend.

He was riding full on that day in Lindsay, chasing a championship from second place. Only Adam knows why he failed to scrub enough speed over that roller and as the rear stayed light the KTM threw a huge roost as it entered the complex section, spinning instead of driving. Out of rhythm now and staring at the long triple ahead, he knew the hurt waited for him on the face of the middle table top.

His want overruled his mind and knowing he was too slow to make it, he tried anyway and gassed it into the limiter in a desperate attempt to keep the front up. The mistake must have made him feel sick as he spotted his landing spot.

From 3500 km away her word reached through the cellular void and squeezed my heart.

“Paralyzed” and a soft sob and then at once Lisa cried and screamed. Jerking to my feet as the noisy airport disappeared, my fight or flight instinct took over and I considered both. In that moment I would have fought to run home.

You and I risk much more then an individual penalty as we pursue our two wheeled passion.

We hold the hearts of those who love us in our right hands and whether through mistake or misfortune, can rip it out of their chest. I use my stepsons accident here and of course racing is different then the unexpected but the results are the same.

“I don’t know what to do.” No other words could have hurt me more, I was so far away. I saw her then on the track, trembling beside her broken son and not knowing what to do, alone. The mannerisms I knew so well would take over but at a frenetic pace as she verged on the insane.

“The helicopters here…what?” questioning a muffled voice “No, I don’t care.

Lets go!” she answered the medic. “ They’re taking him to Kingston” and as the connection flooded with thumping rotor blades her final words to me. “Kingston. I have to go.”

A complicated click and then nothing. The narrow connection to my world cut but the scene played on in my mind and I couldn’t turn it off.

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A boy, not understanding why he can’t move, strapped down with his head immobilized. Frightened eyes desperately searching to see why but only the helicopters cabin roof within view. My wife in shock and as the craft noses down to gather speed she reaches for her son and wipes his tears away. His face is streaked with dirt. Hardly noticing the ground rushing by below, she’s in full attack mode now and the 300 kph air ambulance is way too slow.

She scream’s at no one and everyone. “FASTER!” and rocks back and forth on the narrow bench seat, forcing away the reality of what’s just happened.

The truth is relentless and the unknown damning. Will my son waste away, confined to a bed and will he both curse the dream of racing and yearn for it ? Will he be able to cope with the loss of his legs, will I ?

Will the initial denial, that some never relinquish, capture him and crush his spirit and heart ? The hate and sorrow and the loss, the dependence on others to exist. The confusion of our possible futures and how we will get there.

The psychological impact is the true hurt and as we zoom from turn to turn or blurt that Harley down main street we need to remember the people who complete us. The parents and partners and our children and friends.

As these words come to me so too does the emotion and like always, I relive my tale as I write. Words and tears mixing together. Painting my families pain for you here is my warning of the horror that is held in a moment of time, the potential that rides along with us, waiting to be set free.

Kingston. Overwhelmed by exhaustion and dread.

Lisa ran to me in the hospital hallway smiling so bright my fears were chased away. “Adam can feel!” she exhaled and finally able to let go of her shield, she broke in my arms. God masqueraded as a surgeon that day and gave Adam his legs back.

Post accident by three years and the horror lingers to haunt us. With the wound left by Adams injury and recovery still open, my wife’s eyes are wet and I see the pain as she again tries to hold fast to her shield. Guilt rakes my soul because today she watches me ride away and today she will wait alone, wondering if I will return to her.

Before I go, an awkward hug around leather and armour brings her lips to my ear. A soft whisper “Don’t leave me alone David.”

Post accident six years and Adam only free rides now and is having serious issues with his installed titanium upgrades and numbness in his legs. I’m sure there are many other problems with his body that he keeps to himself, that’s just Adam. I wonder, does he have nightmares of a life with no legs, trapped in a body that doesn’t answer his commands.

Postscript As Dr. Dan Borshneck explained how he was forced to add intuition to his knowledge as he placed nerves in pathways he could only hope were the correct ones, we understood how damaged Adam had been. His dural sheath around the spinal cord had been torn, exposing the nerves to bone fragments from a shattered L-1 vertebrae and the cord stretched to the point of breaking. Meticulously the surgeon rewired my step son and gave him his life back. A year of therapy and re-learning to command muscles that were distant and numb. A year of screaming for help in the dead of night and wondering if he would ever function properly below the waist. A year of hell for his care givers. A year to ride again and a year later Adam claimed that Championship that almost cost him so much.

Re-reading this as I edited, my words tried to take me back to that day and I let them. How I suddenly went deaf in that noisy airport, except for my wife’s voice and that terrible sick feeling as the World changes course in some vast and cosmic maneuver of despair. From what was real into the void between our possible futures.

I promised in Delusions, Doctors and Why I Ride a V-twin to tell you the story of my step sons accident but the true meaning here is one of respect and empathy. I know some of you are thinking screw it, live life like it was your last moment but that is selfish and if you were to examine that thought truthfully, most will see how we mitigate the dangers. I ride fast but with precision and defensively and even in my younger years, when I really did live a YOLO life, the fear of consequence was always present.

I didn’t have a bike when Adam crashed but my wife knew of the passion that roiled inside of me and that both the road and track begged me to return back to two wheels. But as I stood at his bedside and watched my injured stepson try to hide fear of paralysis behind his frantic eyes, I closed the door on ever riding again.

After what my wife had been through how could I ask her to bare the possibility of a horrific phone call, informing a loving wife that her husband would never come back from his morning ride. After all, I know about those calls.

I turn the wick up only when and where it is proper to do so and I wear the best gear I can afford and I practice. Even though I utilize a lifetime of training and experience and the respect for machine and my short-comings too, we all know that the best we can do is balance the scales. Disaster is always waiting with a thumb held in potential, resting on its end of the beam.

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‘Do you mean a rose?’...

‘That’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’

An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door. She asks him: “Granddad, why don’t we give it a try?”

He replies: “No girl, that’s no longer possible for me.”

Says the hooker: “Come on, what have we got to lose, we can give it a try!”

They both go inside. They undress and he performs like a young buck, giving it to her 5 times in a row. “Oh my goodness”, says the hooker, breathless, “and you said that it was no longer possible for you?!”

Says the old guy: “Oh, screwing is still going well, it’s the paying that is no longer possible!”

Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said, “Those are the mangiest, scroungiest, most moth-eaten, miserable beasts I have ever seen.”

One of the buffalo turned to the other and said, “You know, I think I just heard a discouraging word.”

Went to a nice, local restaurant/bar with my girlfriend last night. But the regulars were shouting “pedophile!” and “pervert!” and other terrible names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I’m 50.

It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

Favorite Police Emergency Calls: Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Hi, is this the police?

Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?

Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What’s the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.

Darn..I think I’m going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn....

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the police.

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Little Billy's mom was rubbing moisturizing cream on her face as Billy walked in.

"Mommy, what are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm putting cold cream on my face," she replied.

"Why, Mommy?" Billy asked.

"To make my skin look beautiful," she said.

When she started wiping the cold cream off her face with a kleenex, Billy said, "Gosh, Mom, you're giving up already?"

It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming.

"Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!"

The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room.

"Where is he?" asked the receptionist.

"He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel.

The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment.

"It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly.

"And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?"

"The dresser!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on the dresser!"

Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood.

So logically, pancakes are more important than family.

Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

Back in my day, we had to agree when and where to meet and if someone didn't show up you couldn't call or text them, you just had to assume they had died.

I have been working on my PhD in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don't necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a "Now Hiring" sign and suggested that I could get a job there.

Hoping to make a point, I asked, "Do you think they're looking for an engineer?"

"Oh, sure," he said. "They'll hire anybody."

A biker arrived at his bro's house to get ready for the big run that weekend. His thoughts were on the run as he walked up to the porch, he couldn't help but notice the hugh dog sitting next to the door.

When his bro answered the door he asked, "is that your dog?"

"Yea, I got him for the ol lady", was the response.

"No kidding. I always kept my mouth shut bout your ol lady but, I gotta say, nice trade" A dumb blonde went to a soda machine. She inserted two quarters and pushed the RED button. She heard some noise, and saw a can of Coke emerge. She then started searching her large purse for some more money. About this time, a biker came up behind her, and waited patiently for her to finish. She located a dollar bill and inserted it into the machine. More noises. She then pressed the Green button, and was rewarded with a can of Sprite.

She fumbled with the change in the Return slot, and put it back into the Deposit slot. She then pushed the Orange button, and received a can of Crush.

The biker then asked her, "Are you finished YET?" She then replied, "Finished, Nothin'! I'm still winning!"

Man on left: “I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.”

Man on right: “No way, I also had a dream about that as well!”

Man in middle: “That’s funny I had a dream I was skiing.”

Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”

Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!

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February This astrology has been written in “Quin-trains” meaning there are five lines to the divination. The fifth line will reveal the answer to the other 4 lines.

There are 13 twisted spokes in creation of my wheel I use instead of the common 12.

Since this wheel is created this way, this allows the reader to approach the wheel in 2 ways. As each sign represents a spoke in the wheel, you can read either what your own spoke has to say or read what all the spokes have to say to share a visual to the whole picture. See how all the spokes complete your wheel.

The 13th spoke is what I call the “Dath Spoke” It is the spoke that binds all other spokes together, so you can see exactly what wheel(s) you’re using for your ride.

Consider it having extra rubber for extra mileage.

Aries: As you row towards the shore Remember this is new, not like before Be determined, focused and driven strong It’s all worth it, you won’t be wrong.

Taurus: Sword and scales does justice come To be truthful will make you feel won This time favors come your way If anything, say thank you, okay The heart flourishes to be one.

Virgo: Divide your time equally in part For all these things dealing with your heart Ready your life with knowledge that is good It will help you in times that you feel like wood Snakes and ladders is an old game, an old art.

Libra: Don’t be weary, just stay your ground Make those that want, go around There is no wall, only slots of thoughts Better train those to be robots Don’t you have better things that you’ve found.

Scorpio: A gentleness is needed to sooth the beast king Great strength from within creates this thing If you can so far inside this power Above all others you should tower Kindness surrounds you with grace, not a sting.

Sagittarius: There is a dark day that approaches you Fear not, it is all about changes are due Say farewell to the old that will fall It is the earth, its own, is what it will call Sacrifice brings creation, this known is true.

Capricorn: There are so many dreams in your cloud What is it that you want to me more loud It will be time to make a choice Something that will resemble your voice So listen to what comes to you and what is allowed.

Gemini: There is a victory wreath of laurel Upon your head, shining as moral The clouds part and the sun comes through Hold up high your sword you pulled true Now the truth and light project the floral.

Aquarius: Deep in thought, figure out your thoughts It’s actually happening because of too much rot You’re of nobility these days, why not accept it Not everybody reaches ones own way to sit Right alone in your head, no sleeping cots.

Cancer: It’s time to see ad celebrate your joy There’s no reason to be coy The stars bless you and your crown Not this month will you see a frown You should be as happy as having a girl or boy.

Pisces: Simply a wondrous surprise, unexpected in a way It actually leaves you speechless, nothing to say But don’t get completely caught up in its wake You may find only a fish in a cup, no cake Just be aware and balanced tomorrow and today

Leo: At this time, you’re in your sacred place Peaceful surroundings, calmness in your space A friend becomes a good friend now They’ll listen and you’ll show yourself how Now becomes you with a fresh face.

Dath Spoke: To raise your hand and swear by your word Make sure those words are anything but absurd Some will watch you, some will even turn away Who will be on fire, look out from this day Humble truth shall unchain you from your turd.

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G.B.N.F. - RIP - L&R

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1990 to 1997 Evolution Clutch In 1990, Harley-Davidson begins to use the same clutch

packs in both Big Twin models and the Sportster line.

Previously, Big Twin and Sportster clutches were very different from each other.

The 1990 model year saw Harley-Davidson make three necessary and welcome changes to their improving the clutch pack assembly’s functional ability. The possibility of clutch drag existed under the previous 1984 to 1989 system. Clutch drag occurs when the clutch does not fully disengage. The bike will exhibit hard shifting and will creep forward in gear from a stop with the clutch lever fully pulled in.

The one-piece Clutch Pushrod Adjusting Screw began use in December, 1989, Harley-Davidson made this running change to the new 1990 to 1997 clutch assembly’s clutch adjusting screw. Production for 1990 would have begun circa July 1st 1989. Therefore, the Evolution Big Twin models produced before the December change had the previous style clutch adjusting screw (37357-84) and left-side clutch pushrod (3709084). The new clutch pushrod adjusting screw (37090-84A) combines the clutch adjustor screw with the left-side clutch pushrod into one part. It is possible under the previous system of having two separate parts that the clutch pressure plate could tilt a little causing unwanted clutch drag.

Clutch Release Ramps increasing clutch pushrod movement to further combat the possibility of clutch drag began use on March 28, 1990 as another running change with transmission number 90087042. The ramps of the clutch release were increased so that the three ball bearings (H-D 8873 x 3) rolled further up thus increasing the amount of play or lift pushing the clutch pushrod.

The only downside is that slightly more hand pressure is required to activate the clutch lever by the rider. I almost said that this was a negligible downside but other factors were coming into play dictating the future of Harley-Davidson clutch production. They were and still are with H-D increasingly trying to attract the mainstream population, which wants a comfortable and problem free ride that includes an effortless clutch lever pull.

Furthermore, the female rider becomes a niche market that constantly expands over the coming years. A smaller hand that may not possess male strength dictates an easier clutch activation process.

The new ramps (25452-90, 25453-90) have a 150 ramp angle as opposed to a 180 ramp angle on the old clutch release ramps (25452-87A, 25453-87). This makes it easier to distinguish between the old and new style clutch ramps. The three pockets in the older 180 ramps are much shorter in length with bigger spaces between their circular placements. The corresponding three pockets in the newer 150 ramps are much longer in length with very small spacing between their circular placements.

Furthermore, the older 180 ramps have no markings on their opposite face to the pockets. The new improved 150 ramps have 150 stamped on their opposite face to the pockets.

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demographics. Does anyone think that the indented power lever was an accidental cosmetic change? Not only does this departure from the straight blade type lever make it easier to pull in the clutch lever but it accommodates a smaller hand.

H-D began experimenting with weaker or user-friendly clutch diaphragm springs, slippier, and non-stretch inner clutch cables, different clutch plate materials, and clutch plate quantities. The clutch still had to effectively transfer power but it also had to be easier for the rider to engage and disengage.

The clutch release ramp assembly positions in the rightside transmission end cover (37105-87A, 37109-87A). It actuates the clutch pushrods to push away the clutch pressure plate (37912-90, 37912-91) thus taking pressure off the clutch plates, disengaging the clutch.

The clutch cable screws into the transmission end cover and connects to the clutch release ramp’s coupling (34920-86). Of course, it is the rider that pulls in the clutch lever that in sequence, pulls the inner clutch cable thus the coupling and pulls one ramp up the other separated by three ball bearings that ride the ramps.

This pushes on the right side clutch pushrod that then pushes the other(s). A clutch pushrod bearing (37312-75) sandwiched between two thrust washers (37313-80 x 2) sits on the end of the right clutch pushrod allowing the rotational push of the clutch release ramps to transfer its energy without friction (wear) onto the clutch pushrods.

The clutch release ramp began use in 1987, replacing the problematic external lever/clutch fork that the clutch cable fit into and activated. It was a welcome, durable, and reliable change. However, the two changes to improve clutch actuation and disengagement by eliminating clutch drag also necessitated the removal of the clutch lever anti-rattling spring (45021-86) and its screw (90770-79). Noise, in this case is an annoying rattle created by the vibrating the clutch lever (4501788A) against its clutch hand lever bracket (38608-82A).

The reason for its removal is that it could place an unintentional load albeit a slight-load onto the fragile clutch release bearing (37312-75) by taking up lever free play. The clutch release bearing needs the free play as any constant pressure will wear it out.

Harley begins making other minor but important mostly unnoticed changes to the lever assembly to quieting rattle noise like placing a plastic expansion bushing (45423-92) around the clutch lever pivot pin (45032-82).

All 1989, 1340 Evolution models use sintered bronze clutch plates for the late-1985 to 1989 clutch pack assemblies. One of the best materials was asbestos for clutch plates, brake pads, and head gaskets. However, its use was banned because of the generated dust causing asbestosis, a terrible and fatal lung disease. Modern materials like Kevlar and Carbon Fiber are current favorite choices for clutch fiber use. In 1990, there were two Harley-Davidson choices for clutch fiber plates also known

as friction plates and their mating steel plates for 1990 to 1997 Big Twins; paper (37911-90) or cork (37910-90).

The reader may assume that paper is the poor choice of the two. However, paper clutch plates, which connote fragility and wear, are actually quite the opposite. They are for use in Big Twins that undergo severe riding conditions such as with police bikes during parade or escort functions. If the rider spends much time in rush hour stop-and-go traffic on hot days, this is the stock clutch for you. The paper plates must be used with smooth steel plates (37913-90) as the textured steel plates (37975-90) for use with the cork friction plates will cause grabbiness and premature wear.

Beginning circa 1991, the Factory began phasing out the cork fiber plates and their mating textured surface steel clutch plates in favor of the paper fiber plates and their mating smooth clutch steels.

To avoid confusion, there is a kit part number, which is H-D 37971-90 that contains the 6-smooth steel plates and the 8-friction paper clutch plates. A bonus is that the kit also contains the smooth spring plate (37977-90). The spring plate is a wearable item that in my experience usually needs replacement because component parts begin to separate when taking a clutch apart for problem diagnosis.

The minimum thickness for the clutch plate pack is .661” (16.8 mm) is for all 8-plates stacked on top of each other after all lubricant is wiped away between the plates.

There are only 6-steel clutch plates in combination with 8-fiber clutch plates because there is the additional spring plate (37977-90 smooth). It has steel sides for the alternating sequence of the fiber plates. The spring plate specification is a minimum of .020” (.51 mm) difference taken from four equidistant measurements around the circumference of the spring plate.

Adjustment of the clutch screw and mating pushrod is to lightly bottom (seat) the clutch screw (37090-84A) against its mating clutch release pushrod’s (37088-90) end after turning the adjusting screw out 1/2” to 3/4” (12.7 mm to 19.05 mm). Tighten the clutch adjusting screw lock nut (H-D 7848W) to 6 ft-lbs to 10 ft-lbs torque without disrupting the clutch screw adjustment.

Clutch cable-lever free play varies from manual to manual anywhere from 1/16” to ⅛” to ⅛” to 3/16”. The important thing is that there is not constant pressure on the clutch pushrod (throwout) bearing (37312-75).

Errant riders are always tightening free play up to zero, which places a burden on the clutch pushrod bearing, burning it out.

In next month’s Techline, I will continue with the 1990 to 1997 wet clutch that has fitment with both Big Twin and Sportster models. Harley is beginning to make many changes instead of using the same components year after year.

Donny Petersen www.donnypetersen.com

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Well gang, with winter in full force and thirty inches of snow down here over the last 4 weeks some of us turn to alternative riding options. Have you ever been to an ice race? About a year ago I was invited, by my now boyfriend, to ride an ice bike and let me tell you it is a whole new kind of awesomeness!

Riding on ice defies the senses because our brains are wired to believe ice is slippery and dangerous, yet, these studded tire machines can fly across it gripping the turns like asphalt. It takes a few minutes to rewire the brain adjusting to the fact that you will not slip and slide around the track. But then, oh what a feeling! Just don’t touch the tires you will likely slice your hands open.

People ride snowmobiles and snow bikes in the winter, why not put on a snowsuit, some handlebar mittens, and throw a leg over a dirt bike?

We are fortunate enough to live on a lake and have the icy playground in our front yard.

When the ice is right Travis takes the Kubota out with a plow and carves a track through the snow. Then, he swaps dirt tires for street tires on the Husqvarna 2-stroke and away we roll. I have raced many bikes over the years, up hills and down drag strips but never around a frozen lake. It was an exhilarating experience, to say the least, just to take a few hot laps. Definitely a different breed of riders that take to the ice. Isn’t it amazing what people can come up with when stuck in a northern winter for months on end?

The first ice races recorded were in Sweden and Moscow back in the 1920s and ’30s. Can you imagine those bikes and the limited equipment the riders would have had?!

In the present day, out here on Lake Wisconsin, this is an all ages and all machines type sport. There are several events throughout the winters, weather permitting of course. At the event last Sunday we watched dirt bikes,

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in classes divided up by vehicle type and engine size.

All of the machines are equipped with studded tires and extra long fenders. Aside from those additions, the toys are your standard summertime fun machines transformed into wintertime entertainment. The tires have hand threaded screws littering each lug and there are hundreds of them. This makes the bikes dig right into the ice but also adds a bit of weight to each machine. There are special “socks” to cover the studs when not being used on the ice to prevent injury or destruction to any other surface. The lengthy fenders are used to prevent injury in

case of a collision and of course detour some of the ice shards that come flying up in the path of the spinning wheels.

Thanks to our recent record-breaking cold of -30 to -53, the ice was more than thick enough to support a mass of various vehicles. Not just the race machines venture out onto the frozen lake. There was a quarter mile stretch of trucks, trailers, cars,

and toys all using the ice as a parking lot. Some spectators had grills and fires going and others had canopies up with heaters running. Quite the sight. The racers have two tracks to compete on, one oval and one TT. There are also classes specified for studded, unstudded, youth brackets, and women’s classes.

The riders line up much like a motocross race and after everyone is started and ready the rubberband drops and away they roll. It is interesting to watch each one approach the turns, the curves definitely separate the men from the boys. All out for the straightaways and then suddenly a few get piled up in a corner, mostly I’d say due to fear of falling.

However, the kids seem to have no fear and hardly ever let off their throttles. I remember being that way once, dozens of whipeouts ago...

It was lovely to hear the engines revving and smell the race fuel burning this time of year. Lately, I’ve been decorating my living room with motorcycles just so they aren’t left out in the garage alone. I can’t decide if I just need to live in a garage or expand my house to accommodate all the bikes.

But, one thing is for sure “cabin fever” is very real!

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I am writing this column after we have just gone through two weeks of the shittiest weather that winter could bring us! This included record breaking snow falls mixed with bitter cold temperatures, it seems that it is only strengthening the determination of the riders of eastern Ontario to get ready for when Spring finally comes.

Many of the shops I stopped by said that they are busier than usual and orders on items such as custom parts etc. are way up! That makes me think if you need a tune up or some work done on your bike before the riding season begins you had best contact whatever shop you use and book an appointment, otherwise you may find yourself left standing there watching others ride by.

I went by B.A. Machine Performance Cycle and the shop

was really busy and Peri mentioned they were swamped but I also noticed that she had a big grin on her face when she told me that. While on the subject of shops, Canadian Gears in Carleton Place has moved to a bigger location in the same complex and their new address is 130 Industrial Ave, Unit 400 Carleton Place and I should add that Johnny now has his two sons working with him. So if you are looking for work on your motorcycle, whether Harley or metric be sure and drop by and check out the new quarters.

Recently some of us had the pleasure of being invited to a party that was held at the new clubhouse for the Falcons MC. They have been around for some time but there hadn’t been an actual, active chapter in Ottawa for

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a while, so this party was a celebration of the fact that they are back and the Falcons MC patch is back up in the wind! They take their rightful place alongside their chapters in Petawawa and Brockville.

About 40 people or so attended the party and the boys made sure there was no shortage of food for the guests and from the constant roar of laughter throughout the evening it was evident that everyone

was having a great time. Many of the members mentioned that they want to participate more in the community this summer and help other clubs with their rides and events and I hope that many of them will be able to attend the PTSD Rodeo that the Eyes of Odin MC and TCB host every year up in Tay River near Perth! A facility meant to help military and first responders with their ptsd serves as the venue. Because their members are either ex or present members of the military they have a bond with their Brothers and Sisters who are dealing with this invisible injury. This was a great time with great food and in the company of great people. Much thanks Falcons MC.

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One event that you might want to add to your calendar this summer is the Bondslaves MC’s Mega Swap Meet that is taking place on Saturday May 4th 2019 at the Greely Legion. The club is pulling out all the stops to make this much more than just your regular swap meet.

They are bringing in the band “Mothership”, the ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience along with “Great Scott”, Canada’s top AC/DC tribute band to entertain the crowd. I understand the club is planning to put up a 40’x 40’ tent outside for the public to use. The Greely Legion has a licensed bar and food will be available to the public. There is a designated area for vendors to sell their wares and the Bondslaves MC have also invited all other clubs and those who run biker events to consider booking tables to promote themselves at the swap meet. Tables cost $20.00 each or $30.00 for 2 and admittance to the event is $5.00 at the door. It sounds like this ‘mega-swap” has something for everyone including those who don’t even need motorcycle parts! I hope to see you all there and please drop by the Motorcyco Beau’s/The Riders Mag booth and say hello to us.

Some other events that have made some changes either to their venues or date are The Children’s Treatment Center Charity Ride on May 25th in Cornwall hosted by Perry and Geneane Montgomery. They have moved the motorcycle venue of this event to the front of St. Lawrence College to one of the larger parking areas which will make it easier for participants to park and to socialize and because many of the riders coming were from the Ottawa Valley they shortened the ride so that more of them will return to the post-ride events at the college and enjoy the food and take time to socialize.

On a separate note, congratulations are in order to our good friend and brother Perry for him becoming a full patched member of the Simple Men MC. who are very respected in the eastern Ontario motorcycle community.

May 26th is the 8th Annual 2804CC Dice Run in Casselman which is just about 40 minutes east of Ottawa they are making some tweaks to the layout of their event to accommodate the growing numbers of riders from all over eastern Ontario. I mention it often because this event was the brainchild of a good friend, Denis Renaud who wanted to see the young people who joined the army cadets with the consideration of perhaps one day becoming part of Canada’s Armed Forces. Denis was a big supporter of the Riders Mag and always made sure I not only had a table to hand out The Rider’s Mag - Page 46

the Mag but also he would see to it that a copy of the Mag was in the very generous swag bags that they hand out. For my regular readers you will remember that Denis was taken all too soon from us a three years ago by a heart attack, but two years ago a new tradition at the event was born when The Celtic Brotherhood provided their 1st Annual Denis Renaud Memorial Breakfast and the club is looking forward to serving their 3rd annual complimentary breakfast promoting brain injury awareness.

This year TCB will be doing a full demonstration of their Busted Bucket Challenge complete with all the props. There are plans to bring some burnout pits and some rodeo equipment to add to the after-ride festivities and this year for the first time, the musical entertainment will be provided by “Southbound” who are no stranger to playing to the motorcycle community.

Last but far from least is the Annual Awareness Ride for Brain Injury hosted by The Celtic Brotherhood will once again be held at the Greely Legion with one very significant change this year because it will now become a twoday event. Saturday June 15th they will continue to have their ‘free breakfast’ and optional motorcycle ride with lunch served to all participants whether they go on the ride or choose to stay on the grounds. There are plans to add some unusual events for the rodeo and more important because the event will run for two days they now will be able to have entertainment including live music by “Infiltrate”.

There will be tattoo contests, fiery food eating contests and more. While they realize that Sunday is Fathers Day and normally no one The Rider’s Mag - Page 47

would host any kind of event because many riders are committed to being taken out by their children or grandchildren to some buffet somewhere while waiting for an hour or so for a table.

The decision was made to ask members of other clubs to join in and help make the 1st Annual TCB “Hotcakes, Ham & Harleys” Fathers Day Breakfast happen. Bikers can bring their families or come by themselves! A huge breakfast with lots of variety such as pancakes, eggs, meat, etc. will be served up while helping to promote brain injury & PTSD awareness and also to celebrate the Brotherhood & Sisterhood in our local motorcycle community.

The Fathers Day celebration will include more entertainment and games and on both days there will be a “market place” area. Should the weather be a bit uncooperative, the breakfast will be held inside the legion with a licensed bar available.

This event promotes awareness of brain injury which affects over 1.5 million Canadians with 100,000 new injuries a year not including the effects on their family members, their friends and the workplace! Keep in mind that many brain injury survivors are fellow motorcycle riders. The Sunday event is intended to bring awareness and support for brain injury by joining bikers and their families together for a good time and to help make the “Invisible Injury No Longer Invisible” Brotherhood!

As always, I urge you to support the events and rides that are created by bikers and clubs in your area because unlike slick organizations that run events the local riders and clubs will be the same people that come to support your event.

Also, please remember to spend your money with businesses such as those that advertise in our Mag or who have proven they are truly Biker-Friendly and have shown their support for our lifestyle and in turn deserve our support and business back. If you have any issue that you think might be of interest to your fellow riders please reach out to me and let me know either by email or on Facebook.

If you have an event or ride or you are a business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them you might like to advertize or even perhaps become a distributor of “The Riders Mag” and if so please contact me by email or by phone.

As always, I want you to please remember that we make our Motorcycle Communities stronger by making them better! email: theridersmag.beau@gmail.com Twitter Riders Mag East @ motorcyco_beau You can also read us online : www.theridersmag.com/ online ...... Motorcyco Beau

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Continued...

A ten year-old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle, pulls up beside him and asks, "Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?"

"No!", said the boy, and he kept on walking. The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says, "Hey kid,, I'll give you $10 if you hop on the back" "NO!" said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker.

The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, "Ok kid, I'll give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride."

At this point the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, "Look Dad, YOU bought the Harley, so YOU ride it!

A rather 'frustrated' woman went to the supermarket to try to take her mind off he overly erotic thoughts. As she moved through the aisles she saw bananas and apples and so many things that made her recall rather than forget her erotic mood. She ended up buying far more than she needed. When she arrived at the checkout there was a young man packing bags. As he packed her bags his muscles gleamed under the fluorescent lights and she could make out the contours of his fit body under his tight T-shirt and trousers. She could hardly control herself.

After she paid she asked the young man if he could help her to her car with her many heavy bags of groceries. The young man willingly obliged. As they walked through the car park the lady finally lost control. She placed her hand on the young man's butt and said "I have an itchy pussy". To which the young man replied "You'll have to show me where it is 'cause all these Japanese cars look the same to me".

Hillary phoned the President's office shortly after midnight . "I need to talk to President Trump, it's an emergency!", exclaimed Hillary. After some cajoling, the President's assistant agreed to disturb his study time.

"So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?", grumbled Trump.

"Supreme Court Judge Ginsburg just died, and I would like to take her place.", begged Hillary.

"Well, it's alright with me, if it's OK with the funeral home.", replied President Trump.

Five Horses Is Her Name.

This is mystical and deep.

Truly beautiful...

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses".

The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?"

The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It means...NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG! On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, a bottle of spring-water, and 3 cans of sardines.

When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, and some sardines into the hollow center of the curtain rods. He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!...People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

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Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ...but only if he would sign the papers that very day. He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later, the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home and, to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU? I was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.

I asked my wife Mary if she would go to Lowes and pick up a hinge.

Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager Charlie to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.

When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"

The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that's an expensive faucet - certainly out of my price range.."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that I had sent her to buy.

The manager said that he had them in stock and it was $3.49 then went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."

Today is my baby girl's 18th birthday. I be so glad that this be my last child support payment! Month after month, year after year, all those payments!

So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house, and when she get there, I say: "Baby girl, I want you to take this check over to yo momma house and tell her this be the last check she ever be gettin' from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the 'spression on yo mama's face."

So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma.

I be anxious to hear what she say, and bout the 'spression on her face.

Baby girl came back and walk through the door, I say, "Now what yo momma say 'bout that?"

She say to tell you that "you ain't my daddy" ...and watch the 'spression on yo face.

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the sheerer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!

He never heard the shot. The funeral is on Thursday at Noon, closed coffin.

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of the same hunting camp.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad.

You better roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."

The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Stanley." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Stanley had two ass-holes."

"What! He had two ass-holes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, There's Stanley with them two ass-holes."

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon quickie. "Don't worry," he assures her, "my wife is out of town on a business trip, so there's no risk." As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop! I forgot to bring birth control!"

"No problem," he replies, "I'll get my wife's diaphragm." After a few minutesof searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury. "That bitch!" he exclaims....

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A.M.P. Authentic Custom Cycle B.A. Machine Bike Lawyer Bobcaygeon Bikefest Bond Slave M.C. Canadian Gears Clares Cycle & Sport Classic Motorcycle Leathers Classy Chassis & Cycles Donny Petersen Calgary Harley Davidson Easy Acres Machines Fort Erie Swap Meet Franks Magic Crops Hawg Worx Hips Cycle Inkuisition Jennies Leathers London Swap Meet Leather King Larry Shirk Mackesy Smye

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Pg. 36 Pg. 32 Pg. 48 Pg. 54 Pg. 31 Pg. 48 Pg. 44 Pg. 37 Pg. 13 Pg. 22 Pg. 41 Pg. 49 Pg. 37 Pg. 32 Pg. 31 Pg. 3 Pg. 3 Pg. 38 Pg. 36 Pg. 43 Pg. 30 Pg. 33 Back Cover

Marcy Flowers By Design Mazin & Associates Meetz Small Engines Metal ‘N’ Ink Mostly Iron Heads Motorcycle Enhancements Mylar and Loretas Restaurant N.C.K. Cycle Noura’s Pace Law PD Restoration Plastix Fantastix PTBO Pushrod Performance R.N.R. Riders Recycled Gear Robinson Motorcycle Smiley & Co. Spring Motorcycle Show The S-Bend Wiesner Insurance Zuber & Co

Pg. 39 Pg. 3 Pg. 43 Pg. 32 Pg. 36 Pg. 36 Pg. 12 Pg. 38 Pg. 49 Inside Front Cover Pg. 31 Pg. 30 Pg. 11 Pg. 38 Pg. 7 Pg. 31 Pg. 39 Pg. 49 Pg. 38 Inside Back Cover Pg. 39 Pg. 12 Pg. 4

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