The Rider's Mag Oct/Nov 2020 Issue

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Whats Shakin’

Pg. 5

Cruisin’ With Critter

Pg. 6

Jokes

Pg. 14

Trippin with Terry

Pg. 16

Bikers Church

Pg. 19

The Rally in the Rockies

Pg. 20

Confederate Flag Battle Rages

Pg. 26

Gone But Not Forgotten

Pg. 28

Twisted Spokes Astrology

Pg. 30

Donny Petersen

Pg. 32

Barbed Wire Chronicles

Pg. 34

Motocyclo Beau

Pg. 36

Biker Friendly Listing

Pg. 42

Our Advertisers

Pg. 46

Thanks for your support! We are very pleased to announce that Wiesner Insurance is now the sole and official Insurance Agency of the Rider's Mag and handles all my personal insurance needs as well. They will also be the Official Sponsor of the Shop of the Month Calendar Feature! You will be hearing more of their excellent services in the Months to come! The Rider’s Mag - Page 4


NOVEMBER Nov 1st-Peterborough Swap Meet 9am-3pm Come join us at the Peterborough Morrow Building, for the ever growing Peterborough Swap Meet! Find everything you could possibly want under one roof; helmets, leathers, parts, accessories, rear fins, and much, much more! Vendor booths only $50, park your bike and sell it for only $25. For more info email; PTBOswapmeet@hotmail.com, or call; 705-340-2130

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Well, talk about something sucking the big one! What do you, think of 2020 so far? No, tell me how you really feel! The whole Province was into stage 3 of the economic recovery, smaller events and Ride Nights and other small signs of Biker life as we knew it, began to spring up here and there, and the occasional Poker Run snuck in too! It was starting to feel something like what normal supposed to be, if you squinted your eyes and the light was just right! We even managed to pull off an impromptu Show and Shine, (More about that later.) Then, just when we started to think it was relatively safe to venture out in the World again, bam! It starts to suck all over again! We, at The Riders Mag haven’t even come close to recovering financially from all the nonsense from the initial wave, and the jury is still out whether we will sink or swim! But we try to stay optimistic and keep plugging away, trying everything we can think of, to keep The Good Ship, The Riders Mag, from floundering on the rocks, before sinking to the bottom a of the Sea of Red Ink! We caught a brief, momentary, glimpse of clear sky and gained some hope, for a while and we started to bale out and clean up and set sail for better weather and calmer waters. Now, a much, speculated, anticipated, and oft predicted, second wave, now seems inevitable! I am starting to feel like George Cloony and crew in the movie “Perfect Storm” as, after they survived a bunch of crap, (Some of them anyways.) by the skin of their teeth, and while celebrating their victory of an epic battle with many previous, gigantic waves! Then they saw the huge swell start to rise in front of them and at that point they surely must have drained whatever was in their intestinal tracts right there and then! Well the swell is ahead of us and visible right now and It might well represent our death knell if we don’t catch some sort of a break, soon! That, surely isn’t very reassuring news to those of us who want to see the Mag continue or our subscribers and advertisers. It has been the cause of much stress and many sleepless nights for myself and the rest of the crew here at the Riders Mag. We think we are on the right course, and bam! Something else goes wrong! I’m sure the LCBO’s profit margins are up substantially, as many of us try to chase the stress away or at least, dull the pain with substances that eventually, usually, just make things worse! Hell, my liver can suffer along with the rest of me! Anyhow, if you are reading this, (in print especially) we are still afloat and chugging along, we may even have to man the oars, but hope is eternal, and we hope to get there eventually! We will keep you in the loop as best we can as to what our situation is! If someone out there is in a position to take this thing over, keep it alive and true to what it is, has been and reflective of who we represent, now would be the time to step up! I would still like to do what I do, as far as contributing cartoons and articles and such and what I The Rider’s Mag - Page 6

do but the stress of running it, combined with dealing with my own personal issues is getting too much for me to handle! Considering that I didn’t want to take this thing over in the first place, and it has been, to say the least an adventure! I’m still hard at it, but in terms of finances, it seems we haven’t come too far from the starting point, other than sinking further and further in debt! I took over, despite my wife’s wishes and I only did so, to keep The Mag alive, as, at that time as the previous owner no longer wanted to run it! I felt it was just too good to allow it to die! I have done the best I could and brought it as far as I can! The future of the Mag, at this point, and under the current circumstances aren’t particularly bright! I’m working on some things to try and salvage what I can and honour commitments to keep a print version but it is clear, that the way of the future will be mostly online! Online has real potential and is an enhancement to the print edition as there are galleries of pictures that don’t make it to the print editions. I have trouble with monetising the online as it is far from my field of knowledge. We are at a crossroads and we will see what we will see and what happens next! The adventure continues! Anyhow, It was good to get out and actually deliver Magazines again and travel to spots near and far throughout the Province over the past couple of weeks! My faithful sidekick “Rosebud” was especially happy to once again take her familiar spot on the consul of my F150 as we explore the highways and byways of this beautiful Province. She also knows that she will get plenty of road-trip food, throughout the trips, plus, hanging out in bars with the likes of Cheyenne when we stay over in Windsor suits both of us just fine! I’m sorry to say, that we have lost a couple of our crew members over the last while! Delightful Dawn and Dingo Dave found that they were too busy with other areas of their busy lives to carry on with us any further at this point! We appreciate their efforts and thank them for their many, contributions, time and commitment and wish them well in whatever they decide to do next! I have further stepped up to deliver Mags to the area that Dawn was covering and have therefore, added Lindsay, Peterborough, Oshawa, Whitby, Scarborough and points East, to my territory. So “Bud” and I are spending a lot more time behind the wheel now! I will now also add the spots that were covered by Dingo to my itinerary as well! I will be spending much more time on the road! In my travels, I get to meet up with many interesting folks and I ask them how this shit has affected them and what they did to survive! It seems, in most areas of the Province, that shops are busy and have work despite the hard times many are experiencing! Getting parts, apparently, is still a hassle! Some shops like Motor City


in Oshawa are still doing curbside pick-up. Many of the Harley Dealerships have closed off their lounge areas and have arrows directing the flow of foot traffic! Some smaller restaurants remain closed and larger ones are adapting to the new normal as best they can. No where is quite like it was and many have not been able to cope. Now the numbers of cases have spiked to what are considered to be unacceptable levels and for some businesses, the numbers of customers has again being restricted and other methods contemplated in an effort to counter that spike! These are trying times for Harley-Davidson as well apparently, as dealerships have been closing throughout the Province! With four being announced so far, there could be more to come! So far, Dukes in Chatham has already closed its doors, Goulet Motorsports in Hawkesbury, Policaro Harley-Davidson in Oakville and Longley’s HarleyDavidson in Peterborough have announced that they will be following suit! I have heard other rumblings, but they have yet to be confirmed. Strange times, to be sure! Normally, my runs through the various parts of the Province are uneventful and quite relaxing, as I like driving and always have! It is nice to drive along with little Rosebud riding with me on her perch on the centre consul of my F150. The truck is great, rides smooth, and is sure footed and has plenty of power when I need it and the four-wheel drive assures me that I will have good traction if things get messy! It is a great way to spend my days! However, once in a while, things start to go South and just continue in that direction! One of those days happened recently and I won’t soon forget it! It was a decent looking day, not too hot and not cold and I headed up through Barrie where I stopped to check out Hawg Works and found that what I had heard was true and they had indeed, experienced some serious trouble at the shop and will be shut down for the time being. I then shot up through Stayner to JR Cycle and then on into Collingwood to visit with Paul and Wendy Thurston at their fine shop, Thursty’s Cycle and found that they have just got through repairing flood damage that they experienced! Somewhere in that stretch of roads, our little gremlin, who has plagued us incessantly over the past seven years, and who we have appropriately named “Fuck” (Because that is what we scream when we witness his/her handiwork!) made his presence known once again! Arriving at Tiny’s in Port Elgin, I find that there have been changes to that property and I almost left without finding his shop. (It is now in the same building but around the corner). I had hoped to talk with him a while, but my truck suddenly started acting very strange, and I instead, went to the local Ford Dealer to see if I could get the issue resolved! The truck, had been just fine all day, but now it would run and restart but I had no lights, signals, brake lights, radio, or any other electronic stuff! You couldn’t even lock or unlock the doors! Oh, that little chime alert, that tells you that you left the keys in the ignition, still worked! It worked so well in fact, that it would keep chiming all the time even with the key out of the ignition and turned off! It was the only thing that did work and it was annoying as Hell! The service manager from Peninsula Ford, came out listened to my story, checked out a few things, shook his head, went back in to the shop. He soon came back out looking somewhat confident! He jumped in the truck and did some voodoo stuff, that is now part of new school, auto mechanics, 101 wherein, you do some ritualistic shit! Like you shut the truck off and on three times, honk the horn twice with the air conditioner on medium, turn the windshield wipers on high, then low, dim you headlights three times, while rubbing the top of your head counter clockwise, for three and a half seconds, switch up to clockwise, rubbing of your stomach for two and a third seconds, followed quickly with singing three verses of Alice’s Restaurant, complete with choruses in the key of “D” and then everything returns to normal! If you fuck up a step, you’re fucked and you will have either abandon your vehicle or take up residence in whatever town you happen to be in until they bring in a witch Doctor from Haiti to lift the curse! Now on my way again, everything was back working, but I was now somewhat lacking the confidence I once had in my truck, as the check engine lights remained on for the remainder of the trip! The service manager reassured me that all my stuff would start working again as I went, and those check engine lights would go out on their own, eventually but I may have to take it into my Dealer back in Newmarket! This, of course, just ads to the adventure and fits with my kudo of “Why just have a life, when you can have an adventure!” (Frankly after the way this day was going, I’m starting to hate when I say that!) but being several hours away from home with no overnight gear and with abbreviated stops in at Blackhorse Cycle in Underwood and Smiley and Company in the big town of Ripley yet to go! I pushed on, but knew it was going to be a longer day than anticipated and any plans to make it home in time for dinner would have to be abandoned! On top of all that, I somehow managed to gouge a large hunk of flesh out of my right arm while performing the daunting task of removing a bundle of Mags from the back seat of my truck! No sharp implements, metallic objects or weapons of destruction were involved at anytime during this apparently, delicate and extremely dangerous maneuver that now, saw me bleeding profusely all over the place! It was just a bundle of fucking magazines! I swear I could jump into a big pile of wet feathers with all the quill tip parts heavily coated with soft rubber and still come out bleeding! I’ll be working quietly at my desk, reach for something and end up dripping blood from some injury that I have no idea what caused it! To make matters worse, I am on blood thinners which now had large volumes of blood flowing freely down my arm and I’m trying to drive whilst attempting to soak up the blood with first, Kleenex tissues from the box, that sits quite handily within easy reach in my trucks consul that dispensed two tissues before coming up empty, I cursed and went for the stashes of serviettes from Mary Brown’s, McDonald’s, Wendy’s and what ever other fast food chain I’d been to in the past thirty years or so, that were stuffed in nooks and crannies of my truck! However, the smell of blood, suddenly turned sweet little 5 lb., Rosebud into a ravenous beast and she was now The Rider’s Mag - Page 7


fighting to get at the wound, to either try to help me or to start chomping on my arm as a snack for on the way home! I wasn’t sure which, and I managed to beat her off and then wrap my arm in an assortment of multi coloured paper products, held in place by a dirty old rag that I found under the seat, as my box of Band-Aids that I also keep in the truck in case someone experiences a medical emergency such as this, also came up empty! This led me to ask myself the question as to why I kept an empty box of Band-Aids in my truck! Another one of life’s little mysteries that will probably go unanswered until I die and someone will take that empty Band-Aid box from the compartment in my truck where it still would reside, still empty and totally useless and throw it in my coffin to finally be incinerated with me and I will still not be at peace! Its ashes will accompany me into my 50 tank which is my urn, and it will haunt me for infinity! I got my deliveries completed without further incidents, drove in silence for the rest of my trip. I then retreated to my deck with my tunes and several shots of rum before I wandered off to bed, bewildered at how a nice drive in the Country delivering magazines could go so horribly wrong! But it was an adventure! Welcome to my World and ask me why I drink!

Loretto Show and Shine 2020

I mentioned earlier, that we actually did a have a very impromptu version of our Annual, Critter Country, Show and Shine on its traditional date, the last Sunday in August! I say impromptu, because it was four days before that we decided to run it! We were going to pass on it this year! With all this Covid 19 foolishness going on and the fact that we didn’t have a printed Mag out and very little time to promote it we didn’t think we could pull it off! I just hate to break with tradition! I called Moise (The Owner of the Loretto Inn, who hosted last year’s extremely successful, event.) on the Tuesday evening! I asked if he wanted to give it a shot and told him that I wouldn’t and couldn’t guarantee if anybody would show up, as we couldn’t get a Mag out in time to promote it, it was really short notice and there was a distinct possibility that the whole dark and dismal, Covid 19 Cloud would be hanging over us the whole time and further keep people away! His reply was sure! He couldn’t do the outside bar or barbecue as there wasn’t enough time and we didn’t know if we would have enough attendees to make it worth even minor efforts but we would do our best and live with it, come what may! So, it was on, and the scrambling began! We would not be able to have a band so that worry was off the table, but we needed to get right on the whole Facebook thing to try and spread the word as best we could, hoping that we could lure a few riders out via our Facebook audience and those that follow The Loretto Inn’s page as well! The Beast outdid herself with phenomenal graphics and flyers! I called some of the vendors who usually come to my events and offered them space to set up! None of these fine folks has had any gigs since before this Pandemic closed the Province and the World down so I didn’t charge them for booth space as they needed the support! Kris and I gathered up any trophies that we had on hand, left unpresented, from other previous events and we ended up with a real mish-mash assortment of trophies but they were Riders Mag Official Trophies and we had enough for sixteen categories if we just did 1st place awards! We still didn’t know if we would get anybody out at all so, that was all irrelevant and speculation at this point! We established our crew as being myself, Kris, The Beast, Bountiful Barbie, my Pal and supporter extraordinaire, Tantalizing Terry, (Who had done a fantastic job at last year’s event.) my buddy, Alphie, and I even managed to commandeer the muchappreciated assistance of Sensational Sinceray! All that being somewhat established, we moved on to putting all the moving parts in order! Kris, the Beast and I worked to getting all the clerical and physical shit done! This involved all the trophies being accounted for, getting all the voting, ballots and entrance forms for the show and shine stuff together, dragging out the canopies, chairs and other assorted shit, sorting through what Mag Swag we had on hand as well as The Rider’s Mag - Page 8


display stuff, loading it on the truck and being ready to go! Terry, who is the Queen of organizing stuff, made extensive lists for days before the event, which she checked, double and triple checked! She readily admits the fact that she can be a pain in the ass at times, but can also be feisty as Hell and not one of us challenged her or called her PITA (a Pain In The Ass or anything of the sort.) out loud! She proved herself to be invaluable and, in the end, did a fantastic job every crew needs someone to be the PITA as they can also be a blessing! I rode the trike over, and got there early, with Terry and Kris following behind in the truck! The rest of the crew were to meet us there at their convenience! It was a little overcast at times and a tad on the cool side, but it wasn’t raining! I got busy setting up our traffic cones and taping off the lot with the yellow, do not cross banners and by the time we were done it looked as if it was the site of several large gangland slayings that all had occurred at that precise moment or it was to be the scene for an episode of CSI Loretto! I got done laying out the lot by 10:00 AM and knew enough not to stick my nose in and interfere with The Beast’s, Terry’s and Kris’s efforts in setting up the booth! I learned long ago (After 50 plus years of marriage to Godzilla.) to not stick my nose in where it is neither welcomed or needed! Alphie and Sinceray just pitched in wherever they could! Other vendors had also arrived and got set up, our crew was all present and accounted for, the folks from the Inn were also there, buzzing around taking care of all they had to do. The only missing element was our guests! So, I sat on my trike and waited, and waited, the horrible sense of impending failure enveloped me several times, and when 11:00 (The official start time!) came and went and not a single bike had appeared, I officially started to worry, but I tried to remain outwardly, calm, collected, and positive but I was starting to sweat! Then 11:30 AM and the sound of several motorcycles entering the property snapped me back to consciousness and The Rider’s Mag - Page 9


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the throaty, throbbing, pulsations was music to my ears and sent invigorating signals to my senses! They parked right at the very back of the lot, so with my rejuvenated spirit, I sprinted (Limped somewhat above a snail-pace! It is rumoured, that my efforts to walk, resemble either Walter Brenan or Chester from


Gunsmoke. Neither of those, bearing any bearing any resemblance to my perceived image of myself as a wellpreserved gentleman of age.) to where they had gathered, camera in hand, turned on, all primed and ready for action, so I could have photographic evidence that, at least, more than one motorcycle had come out on this festive occasion! Soon, the sound of motorcycles was all that you could hear, as they literally swarmed the parking lot and we were soon jammed, but well within the Pandemic social distancing perimeters that were proclaimed by the Province! Alphie also assured me that he has a keen eye for crowd control and estimating crowds at this type of event, and he was ever vigilant, to ensure that proper Pandemic protocols and social distancing guidelines were respected and adhered to at all times! However, even the best laid plans of mice and men sometimes go awry, and that do to a shortage of staff, some attendees, may have parked on the street and made their way onto the property undetected! Something similar happened at Woodstock, and some other festivals of that era, if memory serves me correctly! I know that the barriers that I had carefully set up earlier in the day were knocked over and that yellow banners were torn and cast aside, rendering them not reusable, but to the best of our knowledge, we were compliant! I heard later, that a Police officer had appeared at the top of the property, near the end of the event and left without any warnings or charges being given! Seemingly, he was unconcerned that any rules were being broken! It was far more than I or any of us expected and there were a lot of familiar folks who came up to say hello and give the elbow bumps, toe taps and waves that we’ve all become far too familiar with in these troubling, confusing, times! To say it was both a surprise and a success would be understatements! The day flew by! Our capable, team of judges did and exceptional job and we awarded the trophies, sans plaques saying the category and such but it was short notice and there was no time for such formalities! The Loretto Inn, was very pleased as were all of our crew! I thank them for their co-operation and support! I heard tell that someone even ran a 50/50 draw and that the winner walked away with some $780.00. Well worth the ride to Loretto any damn day of the week! There were many smiling faces and we were honoured and thrilled able to deliver one of the very few larger Motorcycle events of the 2020 Ontario riding season! People were hungry for such an event and came out in support of it! We love you all! Thanks for coming out! I, unlike our Prime Minister, believe in the democratic process, I hereby put forth a motion that The Loretto Inn should be the permanent venue for this event! All in favour, signify by coming back again next year, last Sunday in August, 2021! The Rider’s Mag - Page 11


Brotherhood Bash 2020 Forty Years, and counting! I wrote last issue that I was disappointed that there would be no Brotherhood Bash for 2020 and that I would feel cheated for the rest of my days! I was happy to discover that my downhearted feelings of missing the event were premature! There were several Members of the Brotherhood MC who did me the honour of showing up at our Show and Shine the Sunday previous! They told me that the bash would be held the following weekend with the games being run on the Saturday and that I was welcome to attend! I put my plans in order and bright and early Saturday morning I loaded all my gear on the trike and pointed her towards Markdale and the Brotherhoods wonderful acreage which is secluded, deep in the nearby wilderness! The only time I ever missed one of their parties was when I made a wrong turn on my way in and got completely turned around! I was days trying to find my way back to civilization surviving on blueberries and other nuts and stuff that I had to fight a Grizzly Bear for! I had tried to enter it into my GPS and it just said; Huh??? Actually, they have signage up and you really can’t miss it unless you are a bit of a bonehead! Yeah! OK, I missed it, but only that one time and I think someone knocked the sign down, all of them! What’s that you just called me? Critter? That covers it! You have to be a bit of a bonehead to do what I do It was mostly cool, bordering on chilly most of the way up and having officially declared it to be chilly, I even switched from just a vest and shirtsleeves to adding my trusty leather shirt to my riding attire at one point! Honestly, if I didn’t know (Or assume!) that I was just a mere 20 or 40 more miles away I might have even admitted that I was fucking cold and added my leather jacket or a hoodie to my ensemble! After a wonderful ride through some magnificent countryside, on a fabulous day, I got into the property and received the usual warm greeting before heading in and parked close to the bar! A RUM OR TWO LATER THE COLD FROM THE RIDE WAS ABATED FROM A STUBBORN OLD MAN! The feeling, once again, returned to my limbs and I was able to carry on with my day! I set up a rack of Mags on the back of the trike and was soon surrounded by a bunch of folks all wearing the happy smiles that are so plentiful here and so representative of this place, these people and this event! If I haven’t said I absofuckinglutely love this party and these folks, many times over the years, in print! Let me tell you now, for the record! “I absofuckinglutely love this party and these folks!” I had a while to visit and shoot the shit with the folks here before the games began and took full advantage of the opportunity! Mr. and Mrs. Haircut were there as expected and as usual! It is always a pleasure to see them! Shelly, my buddy and daughter of my bestest friend, Terry, had wanted to come along as she has been friends with Tracey and Doug for years but couldn’t make it because she had to work, do the dishes, wash her hair, or some other excuse! Just as well as I wasn’t sure if I had The Rider’s Mag - Page 12

enough bungee cords to strap her to the trike for the trip home! She really did want to come but with this Covid nonsense depleting her earnings, you have to work every our you can, because it could all come back and bite us in the ass again! The always lovely and my most favorite train engineer in the whole World, Sensational, Sophisticated and Sultry, Sophie, came over to talk awhile and bring me up to speed on her adventures in the World of Railways and such as it applies to her! Hang in there Darl’n! Don’t let the bastards get you down! Don’t be like John Henry! I got to meet up with the Son of a now retired Member “Black Bart” whom I haven’t seen in a lot of years! I can’t remember his name now, but he definitely has the spark and is a competitor, to be sure! He does his old man proud! It is good to see the younger generations, picking up the torch and hopefully carrying on traditions and keeping the lifestyle alive! Also, in attendance was our own Bountiful Barbie, who once lived at my house until some virile, handsome young guy by the name of Raw, Raw, Rick swept her off her feet and kept her! Actually, she rode in with Rick, another Bacchus MC member, and his lady to enjoy the day! Enjoy it they did as they took part in many of the games and even took home a trophy or three! I’ll let Barbie tell the story in her words and in her space Anyhow the games here have always been a ton of fun, but these days, being somewhat older and perhaps, a little wiser, they now, actually, sometimes, take field and weather conditions into consideration before just running full-out, balls to the walls, drag races and events where traction or the lack of it do, or can, come into play! It all depends on their mood at the time and how much alcohol they have consumed and if the smoke ran out! Hell, they even gave me a trophy for my Trike in the Show and Shine portion! Personally, I liked the trike with all the skulls and stuff on it and if he had shown up at my Show and Shine, I would have given him a trophy! It is good to see everybody out having fun and doing what we have always done, pretty much the way we have always done it! For some of us, time and wear and tear of years of doing what we do, have taken their toll, mellowed us a bit and slowed us down, we may be a tad more fragile and less resilient than we used to be and perhaps can’t party as long or as hard as we once could……but sometimes we still can, or think we can, but we pay for it for days to come, after the fact! Deacon still looks the same as he always has, although I suspect he has aches and pains that weren’t there in past years and they last a little longer than they used to! He is still up to competition and can still hold his own! I have many wonderful memories of these parties and these wonderful folks! I hope to see many more in the years to come! I saw it through up until the tug of war before turning the Roving Reporter duties off to Bountiful, Busty, Barbie and headed back to the wilds of Newmarket! Thanks guys and Gals of the Brotherhood and all the supporters who help to make it a great day and still, one of the best motorcycle events around! See you next year, LWATCDR! L&R


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After being revived with blankets and a drink she remarked..., "I don't want to complain, but I'm pretty sure those other two girls used their arms." ************ Microsoft is working on technology that removes the need for cashiers and checkout lines. This cutting-edge technology is known as 'shoplifting.' ************ Nordstrom is launching a new home and wellness collection that features a marijuana-scented candle. You can use it to cover up the smell when you get stoned on vanilla. ************ Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is. "Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home." "What kind of question?" asked Tom. "My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah," said Eric, "That's what I did, except I said, 'Of course I DO..!'" ************ I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer. I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?" She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" ************ A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me sometimes'. The little girl screams to her brother, 'Don't eat it, it's an asshole! ************ A couple recently got married on a roller coaster at a Massachusetts amusement park while their wedding guests were on the ride with them. And this is cool -the reception was open barf. ************ A new article states that millennials have terrible conversational skills. When asked for comment, millennials texted a series of crying frowny faces. ************ Little Johnny's mother overheard him reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch..." "Johnny!" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use those kinds of words." "But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Johnny's mother called the teacher to complain. "Oh, heavens," said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'" The Rider’s Mag - Page 14


************ Three guys are debating which of their native languages is the most pleasing to the ear. The Italian says, "Consider the phrase, 'I love you.' In Italian, it is: 'Ti amo'. What a lovely sound!" The French guy says, "True, but in French it is 'Je t'adore'. An even more beautiful sound!" "Unt vat's wrong vit: 'Ick leiber dick?" asks the German. ************ A resort in Mexico has opened the first underwater bar. Shortly afterwards it became host to the world's slowest bar fight ever. ************ Why People Hate To Attend School Reunions Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine. Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and sandals. She too shares the wine. Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix. Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida. Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in New Mexico and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis. Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility. Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama. Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg. ************************************* The Man Who Gave Up Sex for Golf: A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes."Boy,I'd give anything to sink this putt", the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?" Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sounds good to me," and promptly sinks the putt! Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gosh, I wish I could get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is suddenly at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another quarter of your sex life to make an eagle?" Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And, amazingly, he makes the eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer replies, and sure enough he makes the eagle and wins the match. As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says,"I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all." "Nice to meet you," the golfer replies....

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The day dawned beautiful and sunny on Sept 12th in Calabogie, even though the forecast had not been as cheery. The powers that be did not let Lise Sculland’s memory down but shone on all who rode out to celebrate her life, in the 1st Annual Hope on Wheels Charity Ride. The proceeds going to the Renfrew Hospice, which totalled almost $2000.00 at the days end. There is a lovely poem I send to anyone suffering the loss of a loved one. It goes like this. “Do not stand at my grave and weep, l am not there I do not sleep, I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the sparkling glints on snow, do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there, I do not sleep. This poem waxes on in a most glorious way for a few more versus but as I am writing this, I hear Lise’s voice in my head saying, “ya! ya! Terry, that is all very beautiful but I would like a few lines changed. After “I am not there I do not sleep” use the words my friends will recognize.” Although I was small, I was kind of a big deal, you know. So remember that when YOU ride, above I soar, when the throttles turn and the engines roar” The more than 70 people that showed up felt her presence on the picturesque winding roads of her home town. I saw 4 wheels, 3 wheels and two, there were Spiders, bikes and trikes. Then in rolls Joan on her super sized REWACO, which looks bigger than a car. This lady rode 5 hours in, 2 hours on the ride and 5 hours back with out a break. This reflects on the love and loyalty that Lise inspired in her Sisters from another Mother, her beloved MOTOR MAIDS. She was tiny but tough, sweet but certainly not meek. The dream of riding for her started young and culminated in being inducted into the Canadian Motorcycle Hall of Fame in 2017 (a link at the end of this article will take you to that celebration) My mind races trying to figure out which memory that people shared with me I should start with. The one that makes me admire and relate to her the most and makes me giggle, was shared by Harry, her beloved husband. Now please take note that he told me this story, so I am not sharing tales that should be hidden, even though even his family did not know this. They were married for 64 years and shared their love of bikes from the beginning of their relationship BUT all was not smooth sailing from the start! Imagine back, a young Harry, tall dark and handsome and maybe just a little cocky himself. Lise small, dark and a true danger to men with her striking looks. Harry was meeting up with friends of his and this night there was a new girl in the group. She had the look of a little angel but the attitude that made the devil run the other way. He asked his buddy “who IS she?” Her name is Lise Ethier but they call her ITCHY. His first thought was “who would date a girl with a name like that?” From the way Harry told this story I got the feeling he was a little reluctant to get involved. When I asked him how they ended up together he replied “she and her friends manipulated the whole thing. I did not stand a chance.” For all of you who knew her you understand that when she wanted something, she got it and she wanted Harry. At least at The Rider’s Mag - Page 16


first!!!! ( yes, I typed that correctly) You see Lise’s heart, like many of us ran true to Harley’s. Well everything was going hunky dory until Harry sold his Harley and Lise decided she was part of the deal! That’s right she left with the guy who bought his bike. Feisty little thing that she was. I asked him how he felt about that. He sheepishly said “well I was sort of seeing someone else at the time”. I could not stop laughing. Obviously, they worked it out and shared many years together, raised 2 sons, became solid Calabogie business owners, him with a Motorcycle dealership (Lise got to ride a new bike every year. She would store her bike in the spare bedroom each winter until her first son Frank was born and a baby crib replaced it.) They bought a burnt-out building on the main street of Calabogie and renovated it into a restaurant and sold local crafts. Lise ran the restaurant with her best friend Cathleen they called it Weasey’s Widgets which is now the Redneck Bistro. It became a motorcycle destination for many different motorcycle groups as well as the police motorcycle training group. They would come for lunch, a hot cup of tea and homemade pie. Lise continued to ride all summer, she was defiantly a million miler, attended more than 35 conventions over the U.S and Canada, while inspiring and encouraging other ladies to ride. She was a true mentor. Harry and Lise worked well together. The saying “Come live with me, the best is yet to be” epitomizes their longlasting love. I met Lise and her daughter in law Julie when I joined the Motor Maids a few years ago. A ladies riding club that builds mutual respect and love for one another. Julie had such a strong bond with Lise. The following is her story about her wonderful Mother in law and a memory from her good friend. Memories of Lise “Lise and Harry owned a place in Daytona Beach and it became a favourite winter destination which allowed her to ride all year long. Many years ago, she was in the US on her motorcycle and was refused gas because she was a woman rider, “No problem she smiled”, Lise got on her bike, and went to the next gas station, a true lady. I started riding with Lise in the year 2010, I remembered the first time I followed her down highway 511, I knew I had to up my game to keep up with her. I took courses and practised, and soon was riding beside her with ease. Without Lise’s love, support and encouragement, I would have not had the courage to have led the large group of men and women on this memorial ride “Thank you, Lise, when it comes to Mother-in-laws, I got the best!” Her friend Sharon, told me this story. “It was my first Motor Maid convention. I had never ridden on a fourlane highway in a group or crossed the US border. Lise took me under her angel wing and laid out the plan. I needed a windshield, not only did she find me one, she got it installed for free! Taught me proper road formation and all the signals I needed to understand. Showed me how and what to pack for a long trip. She then went on about how to cross the border with the least amount of fuss. Four of us, ( eight eyes on the newbie.) arrived just before lunch. I had been slightly nervous on the ride but now those nerves were in overdrive. Lise went through first, I watched her and the others go through the check

list she taught me. Visor up, sunglasses off, passport at the ready. Now it was my turn, I rolled up to the booth slowly and turned off my bike. I must have looked suspicious, as the guard came out and started walking around my bike, her sunglasses raised. She asked for my passport and then stood in front of me checking the picture and The Rider’s Mag - Page 17


then my face, frowning. It was like waiting in purgatory. I looked to Lise for moral support and all I got was a shrug of her shoulders and a “what is going on” look. The guard returned to her booth my credentials with her. If my kickstand had not already been down, I would have fallen off my bike, I was that scared. Finally she handed it all back to me and pointed to Lise, saying that “she was the one who told me that you were the biker that needed to be watched”. Lise was laughing so hard I thought she might drop her bike, she looked up and all I heard was “Gotcha.”

Back to the present. After the ride left the Parking lot beside the Redneck Bistro, I had a couple of hours to spare as I drove, not rode, up to deliver The Riders Mag to Beau. My bike does not have the same storage room as Critters Trike. At the gas station many ATV’s were stopped, these were not the little 4 wheelers of the past. These machines are bigger and stronger most of them covered and with seats side by side. The only thing the same about them from what I remembered were that they were covered in mud. I talked to a couple who were fooling with their daughter who laid out in their path, preventing them from moving. Since they were stationary and could not get away, I ran up to ask why the big crowd. They were all members of the UFATV association and informed me of the amazing trail system in and around Calabogie. So if you have more toys than just the motorcycles, Lise and Harry hometown is the place to visit. Lise rode two-wheel right into her 80s, but eventually “triked” out her Harley with a Frankenstein kit. Lise always had a fear of getting Breast Cancer like her mother, who was taken from her when she was only eight. This is a Cancer that is killing a lot of our women, she luckily avoided it until she was in her eighties, but it eventually

took her from us. Here is the link to check out to see this amazing woman’s life accomplishments as shown by the Canadian Motorcycle Hall of Fame. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=naEKRfALuuA So enjoyable was this memorial ride that I will make sure I am there next year. Hope everyone can join us and help support the Renfrew Hospice that kept Lise so comfortable. We love and miss you Lise. The Rider’s Mag - Page 18


During COVID Bikers Church has been gathering in Palmer Park in Port Perry. This has allowed needed space and helps to meet the need of fellow ship we all draw from. A few weeks a beautiful night suddenly turned black, with clouds. Around 8pm, we fired our bikes and headed home. The worst weather appeared to the North and as a few of us started South the rain began. One rider had to go North into the worst part. As three of us rode South we got out of the rain behind us, but as I turned East about 12km from the park, the sky to the North was black with bolts of lightning. I asked God to protect that rider. Another 10 km and I was home, that is when I got a text from the North bound rider, the bike had gone down. God had done his part, the bike was beat up, but the rider was okay. So, you may ask, did your prayer come before the crash or after? It does not matter. God, according to scripture, is omniscient, meaning he knows what we are going to ask in prayer, before we even ask it. Scripture calls praying for someone else intercessory prayer. Now, more than ever, we all know others in need of help. Regardless of where your faith thermometer is, pray for others. It does not need to be long and do not worry if it is fancy. He knows where your heart is before you say a word. So, never think there is nothing I can do for someone in trouble, you can pray. Jesus said, even with faith, the size of a mustard seed, pray. The cool thing about pray is you can do it anywhere and no one needs to know. I like to pray riding the bike, standing up on the boards and raising both arms, but the cops will call this stunt riding, so maybe just stay seated. Bikers Church members have a list of people on a prayer chain for intercessory prayer, some on the prayer list are not believers. Bottom line is the more praying for an individual the better. So, if you have someone suffering, contact us, we do not need their name. Call them Billy Bob or Sue, whatever you want. God knows who you mean. God does not have a rule book on how to pray, prayer is personal, make it however short or long you wish. The most important thing to remember is prayer is simply talking to God, asking for help, and having patience to wait for His answer. Remember to reach out to us on Facebook Scugog Bikers Church if you know someone who is in need of a prayer or if you are looking for a little help along your journey to prayer. We are always here for you. Stay safe and God Bless, Pastor Glenn

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The Rally In The Rockies By Marion Redpath

2020 has been a challenging year for most of us. Businesses and charities have suffered as a result of the pandemic. The team at Calgary HarleyDavidson® spearheaded the idea of The Rally in the Rockies 2020: A Ride to Remember in support of local businesses and charities. The event was held between August 7 and 15th. This was the same week of the famous motorcycle rally in Sturgis, South Dakota. Eric Sum, Operations Manager at Calgary Harley-Davidson® commented, “Many Canadian riders booked their vacation time off work with plans to go to Sturgis. We hoped they would explore our beautiful Rocky Mountains since our borders are closed.” Western Canada and the Canadian Rockies is a favourite riding destination for many motorcyclists. The rally organizers planned a number of socially distanced activities over the nine days with the support of local riding groups. The first ride of the rally was a Poker Run to the Bearberry Saloon at Sundre, AB put on by the Calgary H.O.G. 9002 Chapter. Prizes of gift certificates were donated by Calgary Harley-Davidson®. Gina won high hand - $1,500. Ken won low hand - $1,000 and Debbie won the mystery hand for $500. The 50/50 of $485 was won by Michelle. Demo Rides were held at Calgary Harley-Davidson® led by Trevor Dech of Too Cool Motorcycle School on Monday and Friday. The Ride for Dad group was on hand to promote the RAT (Ride Alone Together) rides. On Tuesday the 69er Miners hosted a ride through the Canadian Badlands and Drumheller in honour of Richard Jones, one of the organizers of Motorcycle Madness. Richard recently lost his leg due to an infection. No trip to the badlands would be complete without a ride across the 11 Bridges road out to the Last Chance Saloon in Wayne. Paula and the crew there are always happy to see the motorcyclists and serve up some great meals and refreshing beverages. On Wednesday, Ashlee and Troy from OBB (One Broken Biker) lead a group on a scenic ride out to Bike Night at Big Sky BBQ in Okotoks. Ashlee founded OBB after her father was injured in a motorcycle collision. Their mission is “Dedicated to raising funds and awareness for injured motorcyclists and their families; to provide financial support and compassionate services to help heal minds and bodies”. For those looking for an evening ride, Josh from Let’s Ride led a group up to Central Alberta Bike Night in Spruceview. The Bikers are Buddies group hosted an Iron Butt Ride though Banff and over to Radium Hot Springs in British Columbia, down through the Kootenays, across the Crowsnest Pass and up the Cowboy Trail with supper at the Twin Cities Saloon in Longview. As if the Iron Butt wasn’t enough punishment on their bodies, the The Rider’s Mag - Page 20


group hosted a Poker Run the next day with a ride along the highest elevated paved road in Canada, the Highwood Pass (Hwy 40). Registration included breakfast from a food truck in the morning and dinner at the Twin Cities Saloon in Longview. Bikers Are Buddies Canada Inc. is a federally registered not-for-profit organization created by bikers to raise awareness and empower the community to fight the terrible effects of bullying on young people through education, community outreach and fundraising. The Rally finished up on Saturday, August 15th with the Rally Round-up that included Food Trucks, a Vendor Village, Beer Garden, Show and Shine, and Best of Seven Barbers’ mobile Airstream barbershop offering haircuts for donations to bagged lunches for school kids. Bikers are Buddies provided security to ensure that crowd numbers were in line with recommendations from Alberta Public Health. The first Rally in the Rockies was a huge success. In addition to southern Alberta we had riders from Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, British Columbia and Fort McMurray attending. Participants were mindful of the Alberta Health guidelines throughout the events. Rally organizers are already planning the 2021 event and are expecting motorcyclists from across Canada to ride, trailer, ship, or rent a motorcycle to participate in the wonderful riding in western Canada. The Rally will be held from August 13 to 21, 2021. For more information, visit www. therallyintherockies.com. Links to Youtube videos from the 2020 Rally are shown on the home page. Check back often as events will be added as plans develop. About the writer: Marion Redpath is the Rentals Manager at Calgary HarleyDavidson® and has been riding for more than 25 years.

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The Confederate Flag Battle Rages in Collingwood

By Sasquatch Jim

The Battle over the Confederate Flag being flown on private property rages on in the Town of Collingwood, Ontario. You don’t see the cannon flashes on the horizon or hear their thunderous roar and you don’t hear the rattle of musket fire off in the distance because this time it is a different kind of war. This is a war of words…. So far. On one side you have old school traditional values versus the out of control political-correct left-wing activists. I have flown the St. Andrews Cross or as most people call it the Confederate Flag for over 40 years at all the properties I’ve lived at. For 32 years this flag has flown over my property in Collingwood. Another brother of mine (who was raised in California and Texas as a kid) also flies the Confederate Flag in Collingwood and yet another friend flies the flag in Clearview Township. For the last year we have been subject to threats and harassment from these left-wing political activists, who want the flag declared a symbol of hatred and racism. When I first started riding my old 1942 flathead in the late 70’s, I flew the flag over a farm I rented as a symbol that I was a society rebel. I did not care what 99% of society thought. I care even less today what left-wing snowflakes think of me and even though they have come up with a petition with 33,000 names on it in order to have our flags forcibly removed we still refuse to take our flags down. Some local pro-flag supporters wanted to start their own petition as a counter measure declaring the flag a symbol of history and heritage, but I remembered a friend of mine who lived in Tampa Florida, told me that Tampa once considered removing the Confederate Flag from the gateway of their city, however, residents unanimously agreed to keep the flag and it still flies proudly over the city to this day. The approximate population of Tampa Florida is 400,000 people (whom I hardly think would appreciate being labeled racist). My 400,000 residents of Tampa trump any 33,000 names on some online bogus petition against the flag. Left wing activists claim the flag stands for slavery and oppression to the black race. If this is the case these people should be calling for a ban on the Union Jack whose slave ships flew under this symbol and even the Canada flag for the dealings with the Aboriginal and Metis people. Besides, the Confederate Flag was originally designed as a battle marker only for troops to rally to on the battlefield. It is not even a national or southern state flag so it represents nothing more than a battle flag….. period. Years later I have come to realize the Rebel Flag means different things to different people and while it is true a small number of people have adopted the flag as a symbol of white supremacy the vast majority of southerners consider it a flag of their heritage. For 8 years, I raced motorcycles in the USA and travelled extensively in both north and the south states to various race events. I noticed the people in the south to be different than the northerners. Although they are all American their heritage appears to be slightly different. Northern people are very business-like, professional and polite for the most part but in the south a person you just met at a race would take offence if you booked a hotel room instead of coming to his house for a stay, just like you were his own kin. Once, I blew an electronic ignition on my BSA race bike in Birmingham Alabama. I knew a guy I met at Daytona Bike Week who lived in Pelham not far away. I called him to ask where I could get my bike fixed and within the hour my bike was apart in his friend’s shop. The owner of the shop had to send to Canada for the parts, but my bike was running mint, by noon the next day. When it came time to pay the bill the owner would not accept my money and told me just to wear his shop shirt in the Barber Motorsport Museum pit area as payment. I’ll never forget that event and was very impressed needless to say because I realized southern hospitality is a real thing. I now fly the flag as a symbol of heritage and history and to show my gratitude to the many southerners who treated me very well during my racing days. Since that time, I have lived off and on, south of the Mason Dixon Line and if I was allowed to I’d move there I would (but Donald Trump seems kinda busy these days and does not return my email requests to reside in the US as a political refugee). In the last eight years the Confederate flag has come to symbolize even more for me. After a breakup with girl I dated for 6 years I seemed to have a lot of extra time on my hands, so I began looking for diversion and since I was too old to join the French Foreign Legion, I did the next best thing. I joined a Confederate Infantry re enactor group. Here, I met actual ancestors of southerner’s now residing in Canada who were directly related to officers and enlisted men in the Confederate Army. Campfire stories about the civil war at these events are fascinating to me. So much so I became a part-time assistant researcher for a historian and also became what’s known as a living historian. My friend who also flies the Confederate flag in the Town of Collingwood is in the same infantry unit and works as a living historian at weekend events same as myself. Why re-enact American history here in Canada one might ask? Many people probably don’t know this but 50,000 Canadians fought in the US Civil War so we are proud to represent those forgotten Canadian soldiers. In camp one day a young girl struck up a casual conversation with me while I was cleaning my musket. She said” so you’re a rebel soldier”. I replied “that’s right I am a proud member of the 21st Mississippi”. She said” so that means you are in favour of slavery”. I was kinda blind-sided by the question but said “no I am not in favour of slavery. Slavery is wrong and I would have been what’s called an abolitionist back in the day but I still would have enlisted in the Confederate Army 159 years ago The Rider’s Mag - Page 26


to protect my country from invading Yankees. More than 85% of some 350,000 Confederate soldiers enlisted never even owned a slave. I represent the poor backwoods dirt farmer who is fighting to save his country and nothing more.” She said” Good answer” and skipped off to the next camp. Not many people are aware of these facts and although my friend and I have tried to educate the leftist do-gooders, it falls on deaf ears. A few more facts of interest I ran across while doing research for a TV series are that during the civil war, census records indicate that there were 4,000 freed blacks living in the Confederate States who owned a total of 12,000 slaves (this figure does not take into consideration Yankee slave states like Maryland). One black woman in South Carolina made so much money from slave trade her wealth far surpassed that of her white neighbors. Therefore, slavery in my opinion was not entirely a white institution. Another fact I found interesting was that some freed black men proudly donned the rebel uniform to fight for their country in many of the southern states. Two thousand freed black men formed a militia unit in Louisiana to protect their homes and properties from raiding Yankee forces. Captain John Hunt Morgan’s civil war calvary roster indicates 15 black men were a valued asset to his company during the Ohio Raid. The Ring-leader of the politically correct left-wing group in Collingwood pleaded to Council in her deputation to have my friends flag taken down from her sight. She told council she had to tell her part black 8 year old son that everyone who flies the Confederate Flag is a racist and that in the future he should avoid people who fly that flag. Instead of scaring the crap out of the little guy, why not do a little reading and tell the kid the truth… while true some people do fly the flag as a symbol of hate but most fly the flag as a symbol of southern heritage and history. Slavery was a mistake and we should learn from our mistakes. History should be preserved or we may be doomed to repeat it. Black men and woman owned slaves too during the civil war and it was not entirely a white institution but black men also proudly wore the confederate uniform and fought and died to protect their homes from the invading Yankees. I think facts like this should be told to inquisitive minds instead of perpetuating the historically uneducated lies of hatred. Collingwood Council (which I hear passed a by-law declaring the flag a symbol of hate) and some of its residents have labelled my friend and I racists (which we are not) without even once coming to us and asking why we fly the flag. Instead they drive by our properties, stop and stare or yell insults and threats. Trust me I have experienced more worthy adversaries than these snowflakes during my years of riding in a club but when they stoop to posting your address on google earth and post your street address as well, the situation becomes a bit more serious with all the left-wing whack jobs out there these days. My property was vandalized a couple months back, I suspect as a result of these anti-flag group posts on FB and my 1950 Pontiac was spray painted with numerous swastikas as well as my shop door. It is ironic to me that these extremely hateful

people would actually commit a hate crime in order to try and resolve what they feel is a hate crime. I have been called an asshole with no moral compass on air by a local DJ and although he did not use my name, he did give my approximate address during his rant. I watched all the deputations to council one night with regard to declaring the flag a symbol of hate and made some interesting mental notes. For one I noted most people brought their tales of racism from elsewhere. I have lived in this community for 32 years and there was no racism among the people I know. Black, White, Asian, East Indian, Syrian or Aboriginal… we all got along and partied together. A man is a man is a man in my eyes. If you were an upstanding guy we hung out together but if you were a POS, you were not welcome. Now, apparently, there is a big racism problem according to this anti flag group and we stand accused of being the root of all evil. Another thing I noted in a letter from a woman to Clearview Council demanding all confederate flags be taken down, all rebel flag stickers and patches be removed from vehicles and clothing as well as jewelry. This struck me as a bit of an odd request since all the bikers I know have the rebel symbol somewhere on their persons or vehicles. I’m no conspiracy theorist but this sounds a bit like the ethnic cleansing of bikers to me. This letter got me to thinking perhaps none of this is really about the flag but perhaps the last free-thinking people who ride motorcycles, want nothing to do with society, don’t follow the rules and are not afraid to stand for what they believe are the real targets here. It seems to me these people who come into our communities and demand tolerance, respect and acceptance but are willing to give none in return are in the wrong, not us. In a democracy you are entitled to your own opinion but with these people if you don’t agree with them, they hate you. My associate and I, don’t hate anyone so who is the real hate group now. The battle goes on here in Collingwood as I am sure it is elsewhere in communities across the country, but as a stubborn old redneck biker, my flag ain’t coming down anytime soon. I know my rights and under Section 2 of the Canadian Charter of Rights I am guaranteed my right to freedom of expression and thought and no mickey mouse by-law can override rights guaranteed to me under the Charter and I will fight in the courts if I have to against any attempt to forcibly remove my flag from private property. As far the left-winged activists who wish to attack my property or my safety in the future, I will use any force deemed necessary to protect myself and property (you have been warned). Many people came forward to support our cause and that they back both my friend and I in our fight to preserve the flag as a symbol of heritage, but if you believe in your democratic and God given right freedom of speech and expression true support comes in the form of “buy it and fly it”. I have drawn a line in the sand and refuse to be pushed around or intimidated by politically correct left-wing hate groups and will make a stand on this matter. Let the Southern Cross fly high as a symbol of heritage and history, if you are a true society REB.

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RIP Burnzy and RIP Speedy

We just lost Burnzy (HAMC Ontario Nomads). Burnzy hated when we misspelled his name with Burnsy or Burnsey. Eighteen years ago, he bawled me out (in brotherly fashion) for not spelling his name BurnZy. ...and in a double whammy, we lost Speedy (HAMC East End) who died the way he lived....riding through the mountains in BC. Speedy was a founding member of HAMC Halifax. He didn’t talk much, using a twinkle of the eye, a nod, a slight smile or simply turning and walking away. Speedy rarely said more than... “Talkers! Talkers got too much to say. Don’t trust the talkers."

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October This astrology has been written in “Quin-trains” meaning there are five lines to the divination. The fifth line will reveal the answer to the other 4 lines. There are 13 twisted spokes in creation of my wheel I use instead of the common 12. Since this wheel is created this way, this allows the reader to approach the wheel in 3 ways. As each sign represents a spoke in the wheel, you can read either what your own spoke has to say or read what all the spokes have to say to share a visual to the whole picture. See how all the spokes complete your wheel. The 13th spoke is what I call the “Dath Spoke” It is the spoke that binds all other spokes together, so you can see exactly what wheel(s) you’re using for your ride. Consider it having extra rubber for extra mileage. You can also read the 1st line of each of the signs to get another insightful message. Aries: There is a need for comfort and love Maybe you’ll be offering what’s above Even when the heart weighs heavy Remember you’re in charge of the levy Sometimes a hug is better than a shove Taurus: There is a safe passage through the flame Walk carefully for there is no one to blame This way and that, a hiker’s mile Reaching your goal will bring upon your smile Now watch as the crow flies and how he came Gemini: There comes a judgement, but not as you know This passage strangely enough embellishes the slow By grace and favoritism, you ascend Or by grace and judgement you end She waits for you and how you grow Cancer: None shall pass this day, I’m sorry to say It is for your protection from the sun for a day The guard is honorable because of you So, the nobility actually runs through Be patient until the sun’s peak ray Leo: You hold a sacred book from ancient ways Even though your tattered cloths hold for days You’ve been tasked to journey, so don’t look back It is necessary now to keep on track When complete, you’ve done what it says The Rider’s Mag - Page 30

Virgo: Got a light, got an inspirational plan Great, but it must manifest if you can As long as things stay the way they are There is no room for you to reach your star Don’t get caught up, you’re not there to get a tan Libra: You’re in protection mode if you need to know None shall pass shall be your motto “No” This is another side of yourself No longer needing to be on the shelf At this time, this is how you will grow Scorpio: Suckle, suckle, suckle, you need to feed Suckle, suckle, suckle, you’ve grown by seed There is caring nature in your life It is to help you with your personal strife Suckle, suckle, suckle, now sleep, you’re freed Sagittarius: You walk away from the shadows, now look ahead It’s not how you are, it’s how you tread The wind continues all the time Not ever stopping on a dime The task before you will be without a bed Capricorn: Look at all of you, there is so many there Keep everything together to be where Upside down, sideways right Make your determination that you shall fight But be together as one to be the great bear Aquarius: Feeling between the worlds at rest Is it a dream or are you actually on a quest? One day the King shall rise again But until then, you’ll have to wait for when Even though in this stasis, it’s best Pisces: Clash, clash, strike, swipe, stick Everything around you is quite thick What a bloody mess you’re in to win Make sure all of you together are in Then this battle will be a short finger flick Dath Spoke: Not often called, but spiritually needs to come For it may quiet the ignorant sum With this strength, as above, so below Manifest these qualities in order to know Peace within is not stupid, nor dumb


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The Future: Part II Cooling the V-Twins When I began working on my 1966 Shovelhead five decades ago, I was struck by the condition of the 2 valves in each head. I did not know much and learned on the fly as we all did. Why did the exhaust valves insidiously and brutally wear out three times faster than the intake valves? The exhaust valve stems became scored. Each exhaust valve face mating with the head’s valve seat burned black and pitted. Sealing suffered thus causing a loss of engine compression and as a consequence power. Meanwhile, a fraction of an inch away, the intake valve stems remained smooth and pristine. The valve-to-seat faces stayed clean, retaining excellent sealing. Yet, the edge of the burned exhaust valve sat a mere ⅜” away from the relatively unscathed intake. Why? The answer is heat. The exhaust valve suffered with about 3000 F extra heat, hotter than the intake right beside it. The searing exhaust gasses exiting each combustion chamber caused this rapid wear and damage. The intakes ran so much cooler because they ingested cooler gasoline and air through its channels into the combustion chamber. However, exhaust valve temperature increases modern day, causing more problems. In an era before EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) dictates on exhaust emission reduction, my Shovelhead had an advantage that we do not have now. It ran rich, which means there was a higher proportion of gas to air, sometimes as low as 12 parts air to 1 part gasoline. As a result, the engine ran cooler. Cooler is a relative term in that air cooled engines run very hot. Furthermore, this richer air/fuel mixture also produced excess pollution and poorer gas mileage. Why? Not all of the gas delivered to the combustion chamber burned due to inefficient cylinder head/piston design and not enough generated heat! Present day, the Stoichiometric mixture for gasoline is mandated. This mixture of 14.7 parts of air to one part gas results in maximum combustion, which leaves fewer pollutants and increased gas mileage. However, this mixture is super hot. This is easily dealt with in a liquid cooled engine but wreaks havoc with air cooled Harleys and most Indians. The poor exhaust valves suffer mightily. Harley and air cooled Indians instituted cooling measures like rear cylinder deactivation when at idle. This helps protect rider and engine alike from excessive heat generation without the benefit of cooling air flow bathing the engine while in motion. Harley and its traditional riders have a phobia about liquid cooling. This fear revolves around the necessity of a radiator, which is the antithesis of Harley macho cool. So, both Harley and air-cooled Indian models use differing forms of oil-cooling. The American company, Polaris’s Indian and defunct Victory increased the amount of engine oil by about 20% to assist in carrying away heat to a larger than traditional oil cooler. On some models, Harley runs oil channels around the engine exhaust valve seats to take away heat from the hottest part of the engine. On others, Harley uses liquid cooling around the heads with a hidden radiator. It is important to the factory and the traditional Harley rider that the visual no-no of a radiator be avoided as long as possible. Furthermore, it would be styling sacrilege to lose our beloved pushrods. However, retaining the look of pushrod tunnels would handily resolve this issue. Trust me, you want pushrods to follow the Dodo bird into extinction. Keep the appearance for sure, but the replacement overhead cams (OHC) will allow your future Hog to rev higher, go faster, and yes, increase reliability. Harley and its loyal clientele have resisted the dreaded radiator’s perceived ugliness that would destroy the purity of the cherished Harley engine … and so have I. Yet, Harley sees the handwriting on the wall and is developing a fully liquid cooled Big Twin engine that will violate styling with its own radiator, pushrod elimination, and changed cylinder angles. H-D is also currently developing electric motorcycles and the Pan-American series of smaller displacement bikes that will have liquid cooling, 60 degree offset cylinders and double overhead cams (DOHC). However, these bikes do not look like our concept of a Harley-Davidson. They may be accepted by younger riders but not traditional ones. Time is squeezing the Motor Company. The traditionalists are dying off, affecting H-D Big Twin sales. Methinks, the new bike ventures will suffer as have all new off-brand from traditional experiments by Harley over the last fifty years, primarily from greed. They cost too much relative to competition. Remember, the young people we all want to bring into the fold to ensure Harley’s future do not have as much money as its older riders. The Rider’s Mag - Page 32


In 1998, I was challenged by Jerry, the then personable president of Buell Motorcycles who was also one of the many Vice-Presidents of Harley. He asked why I did not like the Buell. I replied that I was loyal to traditional Harley-Davidsons. “Don, have you ever ridden a Buell?” “No.” I was trapped. “Let me deliver one for you to ride for a few weeks? Then, tell me what you think” He did so. I rode it. It was faster than any bike I had ridden. It braked better, handled better and was faster, much faster. I was super impressed. I began writing a very complementary article. A friend who wrote tech articles on Japanese and Euro bikes dropped by. I enthused about the Buell. “Don, have you ever ridden a Japanese bike, or a Euro one?” “ No, only Harleys, a 1969 Triumph and a 1957 Indian back in the day.” “Please ride any similar bike to the Buell before submitting your article.” “Why?” “Pick any one. It will handle and brake better.It will be faster than the Buell and it will cost much less.” If history has any lessons, Harley will price itself out of new markets. So, let's get back to the H-D and liquid cooling. Big Twin full liquid cooling with a wider set cylinders, and overhead cam(s) is at least two years away. Meanwhile, the new Indian Challenger’s power throbbing torque monster will claim the streets. Indeed, Harley-Davidson has a major challenge on its hands. Indian and Harley fought for race wins and customer loyalty for 50 years (1903 to 1953), so this is nothing new. Indian was once the largest manufacturer of motorcycles in the world. However, it went bankrupt in 1953 primarily by concentrating on smaller displacement bikes to capture a newer and younger market. Wrong business decisions by a new mega-industrial owner, Dupont helped sink the venerable company. However, Indian dominated various type of racing like flat track and the Isle of Man for many decades with its race team called The Wrecking Crew. Harley was Indian’s Learn the real deal… main competitor and was no slouch in the racing Wanna know what really happened from the one who was department either. The winning laps after a race there? win often included the H-D racing team’s mascot, a NOT Fiction from Cops and Reporters doing the Biker Smear small pig, hence the foundation for Hog becoming Nor from Stoolies trying to justify their lies. synonymous with Harley-Davidson. Truth can be stranger than fiction. Next issue, I will explore the pushrod operated valve train, its limits, and the need for overhead cams in future Harley-Davidsons. Donny Petersen www.donnypetersen.com

Order from www.donnypetersen.com I will announce book signings on my Facebook page. OR By Etransfer $60 (book, tax, shipping) to donnypetersen@rogers.com Then message/email me the name I should autograph the book to and the mailing address. The Rider’s Mag - Page 33


Brotherhood Rodeo

Crazy weather we had. It had been canceled once but they tried again and succeeded in holding the event. I remember going to a few rodeos in Sparrow Lake way back and always having a good time. I, Raw Raw Rick, Dennis ,Tammy and Vinny started our day bundled up, but it soon warmed up. Raw Raw, Dennis and Tammy walked away with a few trophies. Always a good time at their events and I hope we will be done with the whole virus crap and really party hard with the Brotherhood. Bring on the wet t-shirt contest I am ready.

Bacchus 401 Run

We started the journey at the Bacchus Halton Hills House for breakfast and a plaque given to Lecture Hannable in honour of his dream and hard work in starting the Halton Hills Chapter. Next up was the Bacchus Woodstock house for lunch then Bacchus Chatham house for supper and of course a lot of riding in between. It being Raws Raws birthday added some entertainment for the evening with the guys feeding him Tequila and 7. Well you all know the result at the end of the night.

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Bacchus Hamilton Poker Run

Beautiful day for a poker run. Started off cool but the sun was shining hard for this event. Like to say I pulled a crappy hand as always. All back roads, which personally I prefer. Trees were just starting to turn and that smell of fall. Perfect day!

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Well this is the first issue of the Mag back in print, where I get to say how great it is to be back! As well, I’d like to remind you, that your continued support has been instrumental in our determination to keep the Mag going. I would also like to thank every one of you who responded to our last-minute call out for our Mag Show & Shine in Loretto and letting Critter and I know that there is a need to keep going on. With the exception of riding on their own, or with a few friends, 2020 has been the most disappointing season ever! Because of the covid-19 restrictions, regulations and quarantines in place, there were very few rides/events. I was over the moon, to participate in them and bring them to your attention. Even the ones in the rain, were a big hit. Several weeks ago, one of our contributors to the Mag, Terry, who is also a member of the Motor Maids Inc., was coming to the Ottawa area to attend a memorial ride in honor of the legendary Lise Sculland. Lise, sadly passed away back in January of this year. Lise was 83 yrs. Young, still riding her Harley until she was 82, and achieved the honour of becoming a Golden Lifetime member of the Motor Maids Inc. The Motor Maids, is an all women’s motorcycle club founded over 80 yrs. ago and have earned respect and a solid reputation in the Motorcycle Community around the World. She was also a member of the MILLION MILER CLUB having ridden her Harleys all across North America! Last, but not least, in 2017 Lise was inducted into the Canadian Motorcycle Hall of Fame.

The following day Brother Chucky and I went down to participate in the 16th Annual Cowpaddy Boys Poker Run. This event is part of a number of fund-raising events held by their incredible group of people called the Cowpaddy Crew. This includes the founders Gail and Steve Kinghorn. They have not only been active in their own community, but also participated in rides/events that are hosted by other clubs or groups and I thank all of them for all their efforts. When we first arrived, we were greeted by Kathy Dorion, whose picture has appeared in many of my columns over the years! She is also one of the good- will The Rider’s Mag - Page 36

ambassadors for the many Cowpaddy rides & events that normally take place each year along with two other lovely ladies, Melanie Froggatt and Julie Birket Hitsman. Over the next few hours, the number of riders grew from a couple of dozen to nearly the allowed maximum, so some riders graciously went on ahead to make room


for others. So, while the limit of 100 was adhered to, actually 124 riders dropped by to register and donate to the cause. I would like to give honorable mention to a number of people, who often are “invisible” because much of what they do is before or outside of the actual ride itself! One example would be the granddaughter of Mary Steenwyk, who is in high school and baked up lots of goodies and donated $60 she made selling them! Katryna Deline, who did up a gift basket that brought in $94. Tara Kelly for a foot bath & sheets and Kathy Dorion for donating jewelry. There are just too many to mention but the collective effort of all those “invisible” people in our motorcycle community have helped so far to bring in over $2500 dollars and please, to all those I didn’t mention, I will do my very best to acknowledge your generosity when I post on the net in Facebook. As I was walking around taking pictures and talking with the riders I bumped into Maurice Landriault proudly The Rider’s Mag - Page 37


showing off his new custom 55 Chevy that he drove in instead of riding his Harley. He intends to use it to promote and support Cowpaddy events and Chucky mentioned that it had something like a 454 motor! I am sure Maurice will get lots of attention wherever he shows up with it. I bumped into some great people touring the lot that included Jim Wills, Gary Earl & his lovely wife Donna, some members of the GOC (Guardians of the Children), friends & brothers from the Falcons MC, the Burn Out Boys, a club called ARC (All Round Charity) and I was happily surprised to see Brother Hillbilly from the Capital City Bikers Church. A number of the Outlaws MC dropped by and were kind enough to make donations in support of the event

even though they weren’t taking part in the actual ride. It was a great turnout and as an added bonus to Chucky and myself, as we were taking pictures of the departure we happened across a very good friend Daniel Coulombe and his lovely wife Maryline Lachance. He was kind enough to take a picture of the three of us before we headed out. I am so looking forward to 2021, and hopefully, the return of some kind of normalcy to our community but until then, events like this take some of the pain away. The Rider’s Mag - Page 38


Every Fall, Brother Jim Poulin hosts his annual motorcycle swap meet but because of the Covid regulations it couldn’t be held indoors. Jim decided that because there had been literally nothing going on all year he would gamble and hold the swap meet outside, hoping he would get a break in the weather. The day before we were in Prescott for the Cowpaddy Ride and it was absolutely perfect but like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde Sunday was the exact opposite, with intermittent rain and cloudy as hell! But as they say, “The show must go on.” The Celtic Brotherhood & The Riders Mag of eastern Ontario had some extra rigs which they lent to Jim for some of the vendors to use, because Jim & Veronica Poulin are two of the most respected people in the motorcycle community! This event wasn’t about just being a swap meet, so much as it was about us taking back our lifestyle after all the quarantine crap! The Celtic Brotherhood arrived at 7:00 am and set up to provide a free breakfast! This was for any of the vendors who came as well as the support staff! If there were any leftovers, then the folks who came to attend the swap meet got to share as well! While it drizzled for much of the early morning, I was blown away by the diehard vendors who showed up and

by 9:00 AM, it was already, beyond respectable! I thought at that time, we had all the vendors that were coming, yet within an hour that number doubled. You know, Critter and myself and some of the others who contribute to bringing you The Riders Mag often wonder if we still are making a positive difference among all of our readers, and although I maintain a presence on Facebook etc., we have no way to actually gauge if it works! But Saturday night and Sunday morning, I posted on a couple of dozen motorcycle related sites, as well as my own. I asked the biker community to please drop by even if just to show support for the swap meet. I wasn’t the only one surprised by the number of vendors! When some of you showed up just to donate, and intended to leave you, but you all ended up staying it was an incredible display of spirit and pride in our local Community. I can’t say it enough about how proud I am of the motorcycle community in Eastern Ontario because if we don’t support each other, and be who we really are, we become no different than the people the movies and the television shows, who simply try to portray us as. It was a incredible time, regardless of the rain! I was visited by some of my favorite people, like Mr. Cycle Salvage The Rider’s Mag - Page 39


himself, Brother Felix Gaim, Kerry Anderson and lovely Joanne Shwartz aka Sour Jo (because of her baking business with sour dough and not her personality.) Merlin, members of BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) like Animal aka Dwayne Haddad & Big Bird aka Robert Webber accompanied by the lovely Cheryl Schneider. They let me be the first in print to congratulate Bird & Cheryl on their getting engaged recently.

are very close to me including one with the “lovely” Bette and myself with “Bones” aka Roger Nairne! Roger, who, has moved back east after several years working in the oil fields in Alberta, and we look forward to seeing much more of him in the future. Pap Drifter, aka Al Stayura along with Sue Milner came by and then ended up staying with us for the day, helping the MAG and TCB out! We also had a surprise visit from some of the Dark Ravens SS! The “ever-lovely” Angelina Ballerina, didn’t let recent knee surgery or the rain keep her from coming to support the event either.

Some of the members of the Bondslaves MC were set up near the Last Disciples MC booth, manned by Marty Laporte & Yves Brisbois and the Ruffians MC, while over in the south end of the lot, members of the Outlaws MC had a booth selling swap items.

Members of the Falcons MC along with some of the Misfit Mavens, dropped by for breakfast and to say hello! Included was the every lovely Luci Guilbault! Contrary to her opinion, looks just as beautiful soaking wet. Dick Budge, kept me company under the rig and while he was there he took some incredible pictures of people who

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Alain & Sue of Rings and Things from Cornwall, David Smith from Biker Church and Steve Prendergast promoting Teen Challenge Freedom Ride for the Men’s Addiction Center in Renfrew were near by. Well that is all for this month! but I have lots more for the next issue so keep reading us! When you can pick up a copy from any of the businesses that carry the MAG. One other thing that I want all of my readers and supporters of The Riders Mag to know is that there is over a half a million brain injury survivors in the province of Ontario alone and many of them are bikers but even if they weren’t, they are our family members, our friends, our neighbors and people we work with who need our support for they are dealing with the “Invisible Injury” so please contact your local brain injury association to see about helping them out whether by donating money or even better as a volunteer. If you are not sure who to contact then please email me at my address below and I will find out for you. If you would like any more information about events or rides that I mention in my column you can go on Facebook and go to “Motorcyco Beau’s Biker Events & Ride in Eastern Ontario and as always I urge you to support the events and rides that are created by bikers and clubs in your area because unlike slick organizations that run events the local riders and clubs will be the same people that will come and support yours. Please remember to spend your money with businesses such as those who advertise in The Riders Mag because they have proven themselves to be Biker Friendly and shown their support for our lifestyle so in turn they deserve our support and business back. If you have any issues that you think might be of interest to your fellow readers please reach out to me and let me know either by email or facebook. To all our brothers & sisters in motorcycle communities everywhere please remember, we are finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel, but keep in mind that life will be different than when we entered the tunnel but not for us because I mean every word I say about all of you every time I write what awesome people you are I know you will arrive at the end of the covid crisis a little ruffled but still the people you are. Please take the time to check in to see what you can do for others in your local biker community who might not have done as well. Sorry for the speech but we have to be there for each other. If you have an event/ride or if you are business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them you might like to advertize and/or become a distributor of THE RIDERS MAG, you can contact me by email or phone. As always I want to you to remember we make our motorcycle communities stronger by making them better. Email: theridersmag.beau@gmail.com Twitter: Riders Mag East @ motorcyco_beau or Motorcyco Beau @ MotorcycoBeau You can also read us online for free: www.theridersmag.com MLLH&R and most of all Brotherhood! Motorcyco Beau!

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Approved Appraisal Services B.A. Machine Bond Slave M.C. Calgary Harley Davidson Classy Chassis & Cycles Donny Petersen Easy Acres Machines Hips Cycle Mackesy Smye Marcy Flowers By Design Meetz Small Engines Metal ‘N’ Ink Mostly Iron Heads Motorcycle Enhancements Mylar and Loretas Restaurant Noura’s OPUS Employment Peterborough Swap Meet PD Restoration Plastix Fantastix Robinson Motorcycle Smokies Garage Tons of Bike Gear Wiesner Insurance

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Pg. 2 Pg. 41 Pg. 41 Pg. 22 Pg. 19 Pg. 35 Pg. 28 Pg. 3 Back Cover Pg. 23 Pg. 22 Pg. 28 Pg. 28 Pg. 46 Pg. 28 Pg. 41 Pg. 28 Pg. 3 Pg. 23 Pg. 23 Pg. 28 Pg. 3 Pg. 23 Calendar Feature


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