The Rider's Mag February 2018

Table of Contents What’s Shakin’ Pg. 4 Cruising with Critter Pg. 6 Stitch Pg. 12 One Armed Bandit by Angie Pg. 18 Lil Red Pg. 16 Just East of the Rockies Pg. 22 Feature of the Month Bobcaygeon Bikefest Pg. 29 Talking with Tilly Pg. 31 Rants & Ramblings from the East Coast Pg. 35 Jessie Lee’s Open Road Experience Pg. 39 Just East of the Rockies Pg. 22 Motocyco Beau Pg. 43 3 Wheelin with Wheelz Pg. 36 Biker Friendly Business Guide Pg. 48 Our Advertisers Pg. 50 Joke Page Pg. 15/41/46

Toll Free 1-855-873-6680

Phone: (905) 253-5353

Come join us for our

Anniversary February 10th, 2018, 10am-3pm

Fax: (905) 235-5358

Editor in Chief: Rick Davis Graphic Design: Brenda Murray Office Manager: Diane Davis Sales/Events: Chantel Colwill Office Gremlin: FUCK

Beau Rooney, Dangerous Donny, Donny Petersen, Maxx Kochar, Jonathan Musson, Rosaire, Angie Sandow, Jeff Burgess, Chantel, Rob Barrett, L’il Red, Guy Levasseur, Dan Trembley, Gregg Walker

Bike Week 2018 MARCH 9-18, 2018

The Rider’s Mag - Page 3

Februrary

Feb 2nd- Queensmen Fish Fry

You wont want to miss out on the Queensmen fish fry this month! Always a great time, and fantastic food, and entertainment! You will find them “ 5189 Concession Rd, N. Amherstburg, On.

Feb 3rd & 4th- Greely Swap Meet

Located @ The Greely Legion, Branch 672. 8021 Mitch Owens Dr. Ottawa, On. For Vendor Info call; (613) 295-6934, (613) 724-8140, or (613) 822-2480.

Doors open @ 10am & they close up shop @ 3pm. Be sure to come out and find exactly what you have been looking for, or an oditity you thought you would never find!

Feb 4th- The London swap Meet

Down South London way @ L.B.F.W. Union Buiding.

6588 Tempo Rd. London, On. The doors open @ 9am, and things start wrapping up @ 4pm. Entry fee of $10.00, and for more info visit; www.motorcycleswapmeet.ca.

Sponsored by; Hochberg Trial Lawyers-416-524-8321

The Rider’s Mag - Page 4

Feb 10th- Hips Cycle 30th Anniverary!!

Hips Cycle would like to invite, all past, present, and future customers to join them for their 30th anniverary celebrations! The Riders Mag is sure to be there to cover such an amazing feat! This event begins @ 10am and will start wrapping things up around 2pm. The has been promise of delectable food, enjoyable entertainment, and of course sales, sales, and more sales!

Find us @ 900 Colborne St. E. Brantford On. For more info give the guys a call at the shop, (519) 756-2618 Feb 24th- Classy Chassis Shop Party The fantastic cre from Classy Chassis welcome us all to their shop party! You know it is bound to be a great time when those folks put something together, and you wont want to miss out. They are located @ 1399 8th Line. Lakefield, On. For mor information call, (705) 292-8300

March

March 17th- 7th Anual A.B.A.T.E. Pool Tournament

June 30th- Lincoln County M.C Show ‘N’ Shine

The great guys from L.C.M.C will be hosting their show ‘n’ shine on June 30th. $10 entry fee, located at the Lets all celebrate Saint Paddy’s day the proper way, with A.B.A.T.E! You can find everyone @ 1116 L.C.M.C clubhouse 4859 Hillside drive, Beamsville, On. Doors open @ Noon, Judging @ 3pm, Awards @ Dearness Dr. London, On. There will be an entry 4:30pm. For mor info call (905) 563-4267 or e-mail fee of $20 & the proceeds go to ChildCan. Regislcmc1967@hotmail.com (HARLEY JUDGING ONLY) tration starts @ 10;30 & the games begin @ 12. if you’r looking for more info give a call to; Chico June 24th-Bikefest Bobcaygeon (519) 477-4365, Deb (226) 456-1693, surf (519) Mark your calendars for the ever famous Bikefest 282-2978, or Wabbit (519) 476-9108. May the Bobcaygeon! They are back for their 7th year, and itès luck O’The Irish be with you!! said to be their best yet! This family friendly event has lots to offer such as; Live entertainment, food, venMarch 25th- Spring Motorcycle Swap dors, swag, prizes, and so much more!

Meet Dont’t miss out on all the great swag located at July the Peterborough Morrow Building, 151 LandsJuly 6th, 7th, & 8th7th Annual Wheels, down st. Peterborough, On. Doors open @ 9am, Water & Wings Festival with free parking, and $10.00 entry free, kids under 12 are free, and carpets rool up at 3pm. Be Come join the fun in Bancroft On. There will be a mid-way, concerts, paddle challenges, soapbox durby, sure to get there early, for your parking spot, and fly-in breakfast, vendors, and so much more! Rally first chance to get what you’re looking for. Wantruns, Sat the 7th, Show ‘N’ Shine on Sunday the 8th. ing a vendor spot? Coast of a spot is $50, inclds Watch for details @ www.bancroftbia.com the table. For more info call; (705) 340-2130 or e-mail ptboswapmeet@hotmail.com.

July 14th- Lucan Baconfest Oink Oink, the smell of bacon is in the air! Baconfest April is an event, you will feel foolish missing. Located in LuApril 7th & 8th- Spring Motorcycle Show Get ready to Ride!! The Spring Super Show is here! can Ontario, you will find anything and everything to do with Bacon, and Bikes. Vendors of all types, show Saturday the fun runs from 9am-9pm & Sunday ‘n’ shines, prizes, live entertaainment, and so much 10am-5pm. For vendor info visit www.motorcyclespringshow.com. Be Sure to stop by The Riders more! for more info give Teresa a call (519) 227-1331 Mag booth to see what we have going on there!

May

August

Aug 18th- 5th Annual Desiree’s RideMay 6th- 35th Annual Fort Erie Swap Meet Brantford, Supporting and Raising funds for This is the 35th year of the Fort Erie swap Meet!

Victims of Crime Come join us for the celebration! the will be kids draws, our Shinko Tire draw, food, vendors, and of course The Canadian International Biker Tare Down! Canadian vs.U.S. Military in a battle for the winners charity. The Metric Hall is growing BIG TIME, book NOW! Plus this year we have a free bus, and coupons for food in town for those who attend! Give us a call today (905) 347-2001 or (289) 686-6797

June

June 9th- 2nd Annual Desiree’s Ride

Join us for our 2nd annual Desiree’s Ride Chatham/ Kent, in support of victims of crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher, along with raising funds for Chathum/Kent Victim Services & Chatham/Kent Womens Center. Located in Ridgetown On @ The Royal Camnadian Legion, Branch 243-75 Main St. E. Registration @ 11am, Kickstands up @ 1pm, Ride retuns @3pm. Dinner, Dancing, loads of prizes, and chance to win the annual raffle draw.

For info vist www.desireesride.com

This marks the 5th year since the begining of Desiree’s Ride. We ride in memory Desiree Gallagher along with raisng funds for Vistim Services branford, and Nova Vita Womens Shelter. This ride is being heeld @ The Knights; 12 Catherine Ave, Brantford, On. Registration begins at 11am, Kickstands up @ 1pm & the ride returns back to The Knights around 3pm.

Breakfast & B.B.Q incld in registration. For more infor visit; www.desireesride.com

September

Sept 14th & 15th- Biketoberfest

Be sure to join us again in 2018 for Biketoberfest.

Festivites start with the Flag Run Sept 4th. Then Biketoberfest and all the festivites start on Sept 5th. Free camping lots of vendors, food, live bands, and much much more!

Sept 8th- 2nd Annual Desiree’s Ride Niagara Falls Come out for the 3rd and final ride of the season dedicated to Desiree. More details to follow or visit visit:www.desireesride.com.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 5

Man, this winter so far, has been a brute! Record setting cold and everyone I know has had or is having severe colds, flu and worse!

It has taken its toll on our crew here at The Mag and made our lives more of an adventure than I would have liked!

Our resident gremlin is still alive and well and making our efforts to get a Mag out more of a challenge by screwing with our computers and such and every day is a new challenge! However, we are managing to persevere and continue to struggle through! The fact that these things seem to happen right when deadline approaches is extremely frustrating to say the least!

Our phone system that we switched to (Or have attempted to switch to.) is also causing us grief! Our toll free number isn’t working as apparently you just get busy signals when you call! The company that we switched over to (They will remain nameless…………..for now!) says they are working on it and will have it all resolved, soon! Please call us on our regular line 905 – 235 – 5353 until we can get things working as they should!

I would also like to apologize to our subscribers as all the computer issues, glitches and adventures that plagued us last month held up the mailing process!

Our Website theridersmag.com is also under reconstruction at this time but should be up and running soon (Yes it also involves getting the new cable company to complete their work!) and it promises to be a lot better!

Again, I apologize for the Jan., 2018 Mag, despite the fact that it said Jan. 2017 right there on the cover We did not fall into some kind of time warp we have actually made the jump into the New Year! We all make mistakes, we will move on and look for better days with brighter, shinier moments!

The Supershow 2018

We try to prepare ourselves for this annual event each year in a timely fashion and have every intention of rolling in and out of the whole thing, smoothly and efficiently but somehow it just turns out something far different!

Murphy’s Law prevails! This year was no exception but in the end, we once again, got through it, weathered and weary to be sure, but wiser and worldlier purely by default!

For me, I know what has to be done and when I have to do it! I have calendars and watches that should keep me on schedule but somehow I manage to get off track and have to cram things in at the last minute! This year was no exception!

With two days before we would be setting up at the Show, I still had to get the Trike in to be detailed as it hadn’t been washed since the last run I was on (And a while previous to that!) and was a disgusting mess that had no place at a Motorcycle Show in its present condition! There was a shop in Newmarket that my buddy Josh from TombStones Cycles recommended, called “Fine Details”! I stopped in the day before New Year’s and made an appointment. I told him I would ride it over about 8:30 AM and pick it up with my trailer the next day!

We had been enduring a long spell of extreme low temperatures mixed with snowy periods and today would be more of the same!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 6

When our new girl Brenda arrived in the office that morning, after battling her way down from the wilds of Sutton, I asked her if she would follow me over to the other side of Town and bring me home! She looked out at the wonderfully wicked, winter, weather happening outside, said something like “You do know its minus 32 degrees out there?”, shook her head and trudged back to her car!

I did up my jacket as far as I could, put my helmet and gloves on, fired up the Trike and bulled my way through the quickly accumulating snow out to the street and I was on my way!

People in cars and out clearing snow from the driveways cast strange looks in my directions Brenda would later tell me that they watched me go by and just stood there shaking their heads she pretended that she didn’t know me, making gestures that translated as “What a fucking idiot!” and carried on!

Meanwhile the guy who owns the shop was standing in the empty bay by the door explaining to another guy that he had some guy promised that he would ride his motorcycle over that morning and there wasn’t a chance in Hell that he’d be there in this kind of weather! He then heard the rumble and roar as I made my way through the parking lot and opened the door for me!

So that was one more job looked after now I had to pick up my trailer from where I store it, a buddy’s place and get it back home.

We couldn’t load it because the trike had to go in first but we staged everything in the garage while trying to get our computers back up and running once again!

The next morning I arrived back at the detailers to find the Trike gleaming like a new penny, loaded it up then headed home to finish loading and head to the Show!

Our crew was reduced to Chantel, Brenda and myself as Scott who has always been a tremendous help in years previous had moved onto greener pastures. Squirrel had other work that he was doing, Gypsy had moved to another town and Lil’ Red had come town with pneumonia. We got there and got it done then headed home! Now Chantel was mentioning a pain in her abdomen but said she would be OK! We then found out that Brenda had a funeral to attend the next day and wouldn’t be with us either! So it was down to just Chantel and me to man the booth for Friday!

We still had Donny Petersen who would be signing and selling his new book “Biker 101, The Life of Don,” Lefty and her husband, sidekick and band member, Lloyd and the ever alluring Ali who had her sexy line of ladies biker-wear to lend a hand!

The Friday crowds were decent but we weren’t overwhelmed and we got through the day but Chantel’s abdomen pain persisted and by the end of the day it was clear she wasn’t in top form! I then got a call from Peppermint Patty who was going to help on Saturday and Sunday as she has done for years saying she had pink eye and wouldn’t be able to come! We also got word that Beau wouldn’t be coming due to the weather!

Saturday found us down to the Show early to face the huge crowds that I knew were going to be filling all the Halls!

The effervescent “Miss Kitty” and my buddy Brian Davis would be there to shore up our dwindling ranks and we would just do the best we could with what we had! Also joining us today would be Chantel’s eight year old son “Aidan” and he was a great help!

Previous Publisher of The Mag, Alex JR brought my old booth-mate Alex Sr. in for a while! It was great to see him again! We worked the booth together at these and other events like Port Dover for a lot of years!

I had to wander up to Hall 1 and constantly stopped to chat here and there along the way as I ran into friends, acquaintances and advertisers. As I approached the Highway of Heroes ride I was stopped by one of their crew. He informed me of their advertising plans for the year and added that The Toronto Argonauts were coming on as one of the Sponsors and supporters of the Ride! Further, he told me that if I wanted to come back between the hours of one and three they would have members of The Argos, some cheerleaders and the Grey Cup at the booth!

I remembered that Steve Schuller from Cyclewerks had a fantastic Argos Tribute Bike in his display! I told Steve about who and what was appearing there and asked if he’d be interested! He said that he definitely would if we could arrange it!

I headed back to Hall one where two of the Argos along with two of the Argo’s cheerleaders and the Grey cup adorned the already great looking booth that to Highways of Hero’s crew had set up! I got some shots then told them of the Tribute bike! They were all for it!

So it was my mission to put the two or three parties together!

Now I’m an old, out of shape guy with bad knees and didn’t have another trip to Hall one maneuvering through enormous crowds left in me! So I looked to my bright, enthusiastic and nimble protégé with young legs to pick up the torch from my failing hands and finish what I started!

She got Steve’s business card card from him and dashed

The Rider’s Mag - Page 7

a thrill for me!

There were a lot of great looking bikes to see in hall five which was our main focus this time around as being short staffed we couldn’t roam too far or for long. I did, however make time to check out the other Halls and on Saturday they were packed with people wanting to see the latest and greatest in the motorcycle World.

Great deals on everything from soup to nuts was on

display at tremendous prices and everywhere you could see happy shoppers lugging their newfound treasure with them. Gord and Company from Black Gold, Leather and Knifes in Newmarket was doing a great business as usual!

People have come to respect Gord for his knowledge and the quality of his goods and seek him out at these shows!

off to fulfill the mission!

She reappeared a short time later informing me that she had indeed been successful and that the entourage would be appearing at Steve’s b o o t h about 2:30 PM.

A bit about the bike. It was initially built by Rick Court as a tribute to Norm Casola, a special t e a m s Captain and fan favorite who wore number 80 for the Toronto Argonauts Football Club until his death in 1998 due to cancer! He built it about 2005 and then brought it to Steve in 2010 and Steve took it to the next level, adding a new seat, enhancements of the motor, body work, paint and chrome, billet work and other things that makes it a true show piece and an award winning bike!

It sure caught the attention of the Argo players and cheer leaders when they arrived and they couldn’t wait to sit on it! To put them, the bike and the Grey cup together plus promote the Highway of Heroes Ride as well as the skills, talent and artistry of Steve Schuler and his crew was The Rider’s Mag - Page 8

AM sales were set up just down from us and seemed very happy with the crowds and the level of interest in their motorcycles!

We had our usual good neighbours around us at the

Show, Our favourite Jewelry guy Alain was there with his ever expanding line of fantastic rings, bracelets and shiny things! He even brought me a Riders Mag Pendant that he made for me to see and I hope to have them for sale before the Spring Show and add them to our line of support gear!

Fred Hale and Family were once again directly across from us, Ray and James from Pace Law Motorcycle Division were beside us and they were promoting this year’s Rideau Rendezvous in sensational Smiths Falls!

Quinn and his crew from Quinn’s shop in Welland had a great display of builds that they have done.

Shops like Eagle Eye, Motorcycle Enhancements, and TombStones were all there competing for trophies and bragging rights and they had some great looking iron on display and were

It came as no big surprise when she told me that she couldn’t make it the next morning when I went to get her!

This was going to be an interesting day especially at closing time!

I found a good parking spot with good access from which to load at the end of the day and made my way in to continue the adventure!

Crowds today were slow with the occasional little

burst here and there so I wandered the other halls when I could, getting pictures and a general feel of the show and the energy! I got to stop and visit with advertisers and check out what I’d missed seeing on the previous two days along the way! Len’s Auto had his usual great display of his line of amazing Rewaco Trikes, and Hogs for Hospice really out-did themselves with this year’s booth! It is a fantastic cause and they are going to have a spectacular event this year! I moved on to the Bikefest Bobcaygeon Display where Len and Krazzy were promoting this year’s event before meandering back to our booth where I found Shawn McCooey of Fort Erie Swap meet fame helping out our lovely Ali distribute Mags! I at no time suspected that his generous support had anything to do with being able to hang out with Ali! Anyhow it was good to see him as his humour is infectious!

We had heard that Rick Mercer was coming to the Show at some point this day and sure enough, he appeared on stage, as one of the Models in Terez Leather’s Leather Fashion Show! He hammed it up a bit and then was gone!

available to talk to customers and compare notes among themselves! The shows bring all of the elements together!

Paul Tuttle Sr. and Mikey from Orange County Choppers were the Celebrity guests of this years Show! I caught a glimpse of them now and then as I walked past on my way to or coming back from somewhere, as they signed autographs and posed for pictures with their fans but we were short crew and I had other things to do!

The day turned into evening and the crowds began to fade like my energy level and Chantel, Aidan and I headed for home! I was tired and Chantel was in obvious distress with her abdominal pains! We had many different discussions and determined several possible diagnoses of her condition throughout the day that ranged from appendicitis, twisted ovary, tumors, tape worms, aliens (Didn’t see Sigourney Weaver around so we quickly discounted that theory!) to pregnancy!

I asked if she wanted me to take her to emergency but she declined, saying that she would be good to do the Show the next day! I had her listed as a doubtful starter!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 9

The Awards presentations were about to begin and I positioned my chair from where I could get good pictures of the winners and we got on with it!

It is fun to watch these awards as I try to speculate

the winners as I walk around taking pictures throughout the Show! My Trike took home a second place win and I was thrilled hear my name called and climbed the stairs to collect it! Petoonia is going to be jealous when she gets home and sees it! Not only has she been off the road and collecting dust at my buddy Bronson’s shop since I hurt my shoulder, all her new stuff that remains in boxes piled neatly beside her with no definite installation date even being penciled in, the Black Bitch 3 is out winning trophies and such!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 10

I don’t envy the Judges jobs when they pick the winners and the choices come down to the slightest little thing that gives one bike a miniscule edge over the rest of the field!

Does your Insurance Company Understand Your Motorcycle Insurance Needs ?

Anyway we got through the final leg and thanks to Miss Kitty, Angie and Lloyd, the Lovely Ali Big James and all the others who helped us with tear down and loading!

Thanks to the Crew of the Supershow for all that you do so well! It was a great time! See you next year!

Here at Wiesner We Do,

Because We Ride Too !

Give Jason a call:

905 451-4205 Ext 26

or Get Your Quote Quickly and Easily Online by Visiting:

www.wiesnerinsurance.com We Support Motorcycle Awareness Everyday The Rider’s Mag - Page 11

stitch (swap meet sue) There are lot’s coming up in 2018, I would like to take this opportunity wish everyone a Safe, Happy & Healthy Happy New-Year! Ride safe much Love and Respect, Sue (Stitch).

On December 30th Gregg Walker and I were invited to The Guardians of the Children Meet & Greet in the Falls. They had face painting, games, kids activities, plus 4 sign-ups congratulations. They meet at a place called, The Geekery Pub Inc. They are located at; 7000 McLeod Rd, Unit 8, Niagara Falls, Ontario. I will have to say, it was some of the best food I have had in a long time, and a very cool place to take your kids and family’s to.The Guardians of the Children are expanding right across Ontario, with other meet and greet nights; including one coming up is at the Rockpile on, Sunday March 11th 2018 4pm – close. I Hope to see everyone there!

I was getting ready for the Toronto International Motorcycle SuperShow January 5 - January 7.I was having a very hard time to find someone who would do stickers for me, until I finally found somebody out Vancouver. The gentleman’s name is called, “Jim Drummond”, and his company is called, “Images of Fascination” You can find him on Facebook, and I suggest that you do, ‘cause his work is great! I finally had everything ready for the SuperShow. Toronto Motorcycle show was well attended. I was not put in the best location at the Show though. To the people I did manage to see at the show I was so happy, it was like seeing family at Christmas. These shows are like coming back home.

Special shout out to Trez and her friend Jen thank you for all the help! Thank you Deb and Joe from bling your thing for stopping by as well, love you all! Special thanks to those who found me at the Canadian Biker Community Booth. Thank you to Ray and James from the Pace Law looking forward to your event Rideau Rendezvous in Smiths Falls, on July 7t.h.

I was happy to run in to Doug (Krazzy) to know that the Bobcaygeon show is back on Sunday June 24th - Downtown

Get Your Bike Ready for Spring, Call us Today!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 12

Bobcaygeon 9am – 5pm, as always well worth the trip!

I do hope to see more of you next year at the Show! One of the hi-lights of the show was that I was able meet Donny Petersen and get my book signed that was awesome and of course meeting up with the family from the Riders Mag, (Much Love Always).

UPCOMING EVENTS The Motorcycle Show Toronto at the Enercare Centre, Exhibition Place February 16 – February 18, you can pick up a Riders Mag there and meet me. I’ve been busy with other things as well on the Canadian biker community on Facebook the event section is filling up like crazy so much going on, very soon. If you’re looking for stuff to do or people to meet across Canada come check us out.

Guardians of the Children - Toronto Hosted their first meet and greet of 2018. At The Leaside Pub this is a great family of people and that night they added 2 more Family Members congratulations to all!

As always Love from Stitch “A Motorcycle is always safe at home, but that’s not what it’s built for.”

June 24th, 2018 9am - 5pm Free Admission

cation Come See Our NEW Lo

DON'T LOSE IT!

AutoConnect, GPS Tracking Systems for your bike, boat, car or RV

Sold and Installed Here!

8540 Keele Street, Vaughan, ON

35th

YR FORT ERIE

MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET

Free Pick Up and Delivery in the London area for major repairs

MAY 6th 2018 Metric Hall

Rapidly Growing: Call to book Today!

WORLD FAMOUS CANADIAN INTERNATIONAL BIKER TEAR DOWN

CANADA MILITARY VS. U.S.A MILITARY

99 Ridge Road South

www.foreriemotorcycleswapmeet.weebly.com CALL 289-686-6797 The Rider’s Mag - Page 13

We’ve Got A Motorcycle For You !

Choose from our Selection of Over 100 Used Motorcycles All Makes & Models Under One Roof

Financing Available For All Budgets!

PlusA 10,000 sq. ft.

Service Department

with CLASSIC MOTORCYCLE LEATHER

Dyno Tuning

Book Yours Today!

Superior Warranty Available

Call Now to Protect Your Bike!

K AWA R T H A , O N TA R I O, C A N A D A It’s Our

8th Annual

June 24th, 2018

9am - 5pm Free Admission

LIVE MUSIC • GREAT FOOD 100+ VENDORS • SHOW & SHINE Limited Edition T’s • SWAG

A New Tradition in Ontario’s Summer Playground We c l o s e t h e m a i n s t r e e t s .

M o t o r c yc l e s O N LY.

In-town CAMPING & LODGING All Weekend RAIN OR SHINE

Vendor Space Inquiries Corporate Opportunities

Krazzy 705-793-1751 krazzy@bobcaygeonbikefest.com Lenny 416-524-8321 lenny@bobcaygeonbikefest.com

Over 15,000 Riders attended in 2015 Like us on Facebook

The Rider’s Mag - Page 14

Visit bobcaygeonbikefest.com

1-888-292-8305

1399 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield Check Out Our Upcoming Events:

www.usedhd.ca

Joke Page What did Davy Crockette say at the Alamo?

continued...

“Where did all these landscapers come from?”

How is getting a blowjob from Whoppie Goldberg, like climbing a mountain? Don’t ever look down!

Did you hear about the skinny guy who went to Alaska? He came home a husky fucker How can you tell if a girl is a redneck? She can suck a dick and chew chewing tobacco at the same time, and know what to spit and what to swallow.

Why did God make gold chains? To show Italians where to stop shaving.

What the difference between eating pussy and driving in the fog? see the asshole in front of you.

What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?

When you are driving in the fog, you can’t

Your last blowjob.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby? They named him “Sum Ting Wong” Why do nipples have all those little bumps around them? It’s braille for “Lick here.”

A couple is in the living room. Husband says, “Jeeze your dry tonight.” She says, “You’re licking the rug!”

CHROME DESIGN & PERFORMANCE CENTRE

COME SEE US IN HALL 5 AT THE JANUARY SUPERSHOW #1,

Depace buys a country house down South, and the day he’s moving he hears a knock on the door. He answers, and a guy at the door say, “Hi, neighbour. Why don’t you come over on Saturday night? Lots of eatin’ an’ drinkin’, an fightin’ an fuckin’.” Depace says, “Sounds like a good time. What should I wera? The other guy says, “It don’t much matter.

It’s just gunna be me and you.”

Saturday June 30, 2018 $10.00 / person @ the CLUBHOUSE

4859 Hillside Dr. Beamsville (Mountain St to Albright Manor, East on Hillside) Opens @ noon - Judging @ 3:00 - Awards @ 4:30 Call 905-563-4267 email: lcmc1967@hotmail.com (Harley judging only)

The Rider’s Mag - Page 15

L’IL RED As I sit here snacking on food with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever, I search the many avenues of social media for the first signs of spring. It’s been a long, cold, blistering winter, and I’m ready for the sun. Mother Nature is a cold-hearted bitch and I’m sure if she rode a motorcycle, she’d be far more sympathetic to our plight to ride. Like..now!

We had our little vacation, which was enjoyable, but a little disappointing as I don’t think the cruise line was ready for 2200 bikers on their cruise ship. The costume parties were fun, booze was sometimes hard to get with the crowd, and I had not lost the muffin-fat that I had hoped I’d lose prior to squeezing my ass into a bathing suit. At least in biker pants, you can hide this stuff! Our ATV excursion was the best part! I would encourage going away with a large group of bikers any day, but I don’t think a cruise ship was the best decision on our part. Next

trip I’m thinking maybe Sturgis, or Daytona Bike week, or ooooh, maybe the Wharf Rat Rally. Decisions, decisions. I will definitely need to work on my packing capabilities as I don’t think Mike would appreciate my attaching a UHaul trailer to the back of my bike for the ride. And I pack for the end of the world. I do know that I am looking forward to our first trip to Dover that will be in the summer this year. It’s gonna be huge!

Driving back from Florida from our cruise, we chased down a few shops that were somewhat on the way home.

In Savannah, we hit the Harley shop and tried to push our luck by roaming around the store like 3 year-olds in a toy store, just short of having an almighty tantrum when they

The Rider’s Mag - Page 16

said they were closing. (Ok, maybe it was just me that was behaving this way, but you weren’t there and I’m telling the story).

With them closing, I guess it was an error that we had decided to check out the Indian motorcycle store first. I ride a Harley, but I was even compelled to buy a couple of Indian motorcycle shirts. They gave us a lot of free stuff for what we bought. I guess it helped that Mike was talking to the guy about bikes (He’s been looking for what appears to be the holy grail, a beautiful, classic looking Indian. Vintage like.

Christmas came and went, and although I hope that you and yours had a wonderful and safe holiday season, I myself, was sick. Pneumonia to be exact. Pneumonia

compounded with asthma is painful, and exhausting.

I won’t downplay what anyone with pneumonia goes through, but when your lungs are damaged to begin with, pneumonia is that much more painful. Bring on the drugs!

It hit me just after Christmas, and stayed with me over New Years and well into January. Heavy meds, morphine, everything to help. It even kept me from going to the Motorcycle Show Riders Mag booth in January. I couldn’t afford to be around folks that were sick. Bring on spring!!

But I missed that show. The Riders Mag booth is where I can catch up with a lot of the readers that are too far away to visit over the shitty cold months. Plus, buddies like Glenn K. bring beer nuts when you’re famished! At least with the cough, it could’ve given me that really sexy, raspy voice like Stevie Nicks or Melissa Etheridge. But no, no that was not to be. Mike wasn’t even blessed with my getting laryngitis. What’s a girl to do?

Being away I did happen to miss a little get-together with the ladies that I ride with. Mind you, I was away with one of them, Kate (with her boyfriend Rod), and they handled the week with me quite well. No heavy drinking or meds to ease their pain. What troopers. Going back to my acting like a 3 year-old remark, I can sometimes be quite a handful and somewhat exhausting.

This group of ladies have been a huge help and have been really, great group of friends in the biker world. I’ve spoken of them before but to truly appreciate these women, you gotta see how they made Santa’s day during a recent trip to the mall.

I can only imagine what ol’ Saint Nick was thinking, let alone the other folks watching as this crazy group of women shared a few

laughs and put a smile on Santa’s face that day.

It’s the Windsisters. These ladies are all over Canada. You can see individual pages on Facebook. Search Windsisters Canada, and you will see the various pages available to check out, and I encourage you to join at least one. These ladies have not only been absolutely wonderful to ride with, but the mutual respect, encouragement and support that these ladies give one another is inspiring.

Not being able to experience the January bike show as I’d like to have this year, I was able to find various posts regarding some of our very own advertisers that were there. Quinn’s Customs for one. Quinn seems to have no problem walking away repeatedly, with far more than one award for various builds that he’s created. I encourage you to check him out online. It’s quite impressive.

Now, I missed the little donuts that I’m partial to when attending the show. I’ll wait another year for them but dammit, I’m not gonna like it! We need mini donuts as vendors at bike events!!

Perhaps this way of thinking is why I struggle to squeeze my ass into a bikini…hmmmm.

I was looking forward to the bike show, as I am in need a special set of saddlebags for my ‘gater. It was to be a late Christmas present.

It’s been a couple of years since we’ve started looking for the perfect set, and Mike finally found the best idea online for bags (he needed something to do while I was sick and being a pussy) There are a number of leather shops in and around where we live, as we’re in horse country. Mike suggested to find a pic of a set that I like online, incorporate that idea with some of our ideas, and create the perfect bags for my bike?

I’m telling ya, Mike’s not only smart, he comes with a pretty face! (and a tour pack that I can use for additional baggage when travelling!) With the winter weather making me even more of a suck ass than I already am, this is now what we’re doing. Creating saddlebags to compliment the ‘gater. I’ll keep ya posted.

I have remained in contact with some of the folks out our way that plan charity rides. Specifically, Ride for Paws that’s coming. Just recently, one of their benefactors to what funds they raise at their charity events, Sandy Pines Wildlife Centre, experienced a devastating fire. An entire barn was destroyed, as well as a couple of animal casualties. As our community tries to band together to help, I hope to encourage you to participate in their Poker Run and Charity Rides this summer. The poker run is on June 10th and the charity ride is on August 26th. Both in Trenton, and the info is on their FB page. I’ll be there, and I hope to see you there as these animals really need our help.

They have bands, a bbq, and vendors at both events.

This year, the Redneck MC Poker Run promises to be huge. It’s in May, and these guys not only have a great route to ride, but their bbq is spectacular! And for prizes, it’s really worth the day to ride. I won’t make any mention that every time I go, they are far too eager to help this chick park her bike. I can hold up a line like no other, and when there’s a grassy hill, I’m like a deer in the headlights. Literally useless really lol.

I can’t forget the Peterborough Swap Meet that’s coming up on March 25th. This meet is a fantastic place to get what you need for your baby.

Speaking of babies, Mike’s daughter had another baby! We have been trying our best to encourage his grandson to be part of the next generation of bikers, but now he has a granddaughter.

She’s a little thing, but I’ll find her a leather vest and chaps in no time.

Well apparently, because I’m sick, I’m being bitchy so I’ll leave it here. (Who knew?)

There’s lots of rides coming up, and I’ll try to help keep you informed by posting them on my FB page at at L’il Red “The Riders Mag” Central and Eastern Ontario, and you can catch me by email at lilred@theridersmag.com. Got an event coming, hook me up with the details. It’s that easy.

Cheers!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 17

One Armed Bandit tales of determination How many days until riding season starts? As of today, Wednesday, January 17, I am told that there are only 62 days until spring! Are we all counting down the days? Did you know that there is a clock that counts down the days until spring?

If you’re curious, visit https://howmanydaystill.com/its/spring-2040 I have it ticking down the days, hours, minutes and seconds as I write this!

Have some of you been riding on those nice dry sunny cold days?

While I have not been out there, I have seen pictures of several who have dared to bold the cold....... there might be a song in there somewhere.... I better get on that and write it! lol I say, if you can’t ride them, be around them, and that’s just what I had the good fortune to do.

As a result of Critter’s kindness and generosity, I was allotted space at The Rider’s Mag booth at the North American International Motorcycle Supershow in January.

What a great experience!

My intent was to meet you, the readers of my tales and to demonstrate how one can achieve anything with determination, encouragement and support. I was on the fence about bringing Hankster 1.0 to the show but am glad that I listened to Critter about getting the Honda Rebel 300 out of hibernation and putting it on

The Rider’s Mag - Page 18

display.

My dilemma was how to get him to the International Centre.

As has happened in the past, my motorcycle family came to the rescue! Fellow rider Darryl kindly offered to pick my Rebel up and did so on one of the coldest days of the year, Thursday, January 4. As the wind and cold assaulted me, I watched in disbelief how Darryl quickly loaded my bike onto his Stinger Trailer and secured it for the trip from Mississauga.

CLASSIC ROCK AND ROLL WITH ATTITUDE BIKERS PLAYING FOR BIKERS! Info / Booking Info Lloyd: 416-432-8740 angsan@sympatico.ca www.leftyandthegoons.com

My hubby Lloyd joined Darryl and me as we drove off to the International Centre. Once we arrived, Hankster 1.0 was unloaded and wheeled to what would be his home for the next 3 days in Hall 5.

We arrived to find Exhibitors and Vendors setting up their booths with displays, merchandise and motorcycles.

The transformation from what it was Thursday evening to what it became in time for the opening on the Friday was amazing.

As one who traditionally bought tickets to attend the show in previous years, I honestly never gave much thought to the amount of effort that people gave to make things look as appealing as they did. What were empty halls Thursday m o r n i n g became full of life and energy

by Friday, Noon.

As I set up my bike, I could feel the excitement of what was to come once the doors opened to the public the next day. It was awesome being surrounded by others setting up their booths - all of us having 1 thing in common - the love of motorcycles.

Besides Hankster 1.0, which sat proudly beside Critter’s Harley BSA Norton Triumph trike, my display included patches and t-shirts which said “WHY DISCOURAGE WHEN YOU CAN ENCOURAGE” in addition to video of me riding. I was fortunate to meet many people over the weekend who listened with great interest as I explained how my modified bike allows me 12 Carrying Place Road, Trenton, Ont. K8V 3E7 to ride with one (left) hand. I was tempted to start it up (613) 392-8433 and give a live demonstration at the show!! www.makeitroar.com The Rider’s Mag - Page 19

During the weekend, I connected with 2 of my former riding instructors from Learning Curves, Mohson and Brett. Seeing these guys touched my heart. Both were so much more than Instructors; they gave me the foundation to become a safe rider on my own terms by helping me find the confidence to achieve my dream of riding my own bike.

During the course last July, whenever I was feeling down or discouraged which usually occurred when practicing slow left turns, they always had suggestions or kind words which helped me find the strength from within - never condescending or judgmental - always supportive. I can still hear Brett calling me a “badass”and flashing a warm smile my way. When it is time for me to get my M, I cannot think of taking a course anywhere else by Learning Curves.

Centre in Hall #1. I am honoured to be the Team Lead for the Women In Motorcycling exhibit and extend my heartfelt thanks to Peter Derry for giving me the opportunity to put this together.

This exhibit will showcase an amazing group of women who will inspire you with their stories of why they ride and how it has changed their lives.

As I write this article, I continue to look for women to participate therefore if you or someone you know might be interested, please drop me a line at ang@ angproblemsolved.ca. Please provide a phone # where you can be reached and I will get in touch with you.

If you have a tale to share, send it my way. I Once the show was over, Darryl returned with his trailer to bring the bike home. It was a sad evening when we wheeled him back into the garage to park him beside Hankster 2.0, the Honda Shadow Aero.

Back to sleep until the time to ride comes.

If you are one of the many who dropped by the booth, thank-you!

If I missed you, you will find me at The Toronto International Spring Motorcycle Show from Saturday April 8 - Sunday April 9 at the Toronto International The Rider’s Mag - Page 20

would love to hear from you!

Until next time, keep counting down the days and see you out there soon!!

EMAIL: ang@angproblemsolved.ca WEBSITE: www.angproblemsolved.ca BLOG: http://angproblemsolved.ca/blog/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/ angproblemsolved/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/sandowangie

Spring Motorcycle

SWAP MEET sunday march 25th 2018 9am – 3pm

PETERBOROUGH MORROW BUILDING 151 LANSDOWNE ST. PETERBOROUGH, ON (BEHIND THE MEMORIAL CENTRE)

$10 admission – kids under 12 free – tons of free parking Park Your Own Bike & Sell it $25│Parts & Accessories Motorcycles for Sale│All Makes & Models Welcome│ Helmets│Vests│Rare Finds│ Man Cave C Decor │ Collectibles Looking to become a Swap Meet Vendor? Contact the number below. Cost is $50 including table

For More Information Phone (705) 340-2130 Email: ptboswapmeet@hotmail.com Facebook: facebook.com/ptboswapmeet

The Rider’s Mag - Page 21

Just East of the Rockies by Dan T Happy new year to one and all. It’s that exciting time of year filled with new priorities and schedules. Time to take in the winter shows swap meets and meet ups. I for one will be taking in as many as possible. Coming up shortly in Calgary is the Steel Horse Sociable hosted by Josh Toney. The event will be held at the Black Swan Ale House Saturday, February 17th at 5:00 pm. This promises to be a great event filled with prizes and good times. And to top it all off, all proceeds raised will be going to help support Our Canadian Veterans. It is always a great way to shake off the winter blues and continue to contribute to our communities though ought the season. Please take the time to support our community organizations as they strengthen us all. If you would like your event promoted or covered, please send your inquiries to dan@theridersmag.com. For the remainder of the Article, I turn to Mandy Szakacs (Momma Mandy) with more of an update on what is happening in South Eastern Alberta.

Riding With Momma BIKES & BANDS FUNDRAISER FOR THE COBLER FAMILY August 11th and 12th I was honored to cover The Bikes & Bands Fundraiser for the Cobler Family.

Jennifer Cobler, a 37-year-old young mother of two children, Gillian 8 and Will 4, was diagnosed with Brain Cancer in August of 2014. The Brain Tumor called Astrocytoma is a group of tumors that rise from astrocytes, which are star shaped cells that make up the supportive tissue of the brain. In Jennifer’s case, the tumor is intertwined in the ventricles of her brain so debulking of the tumor is not possible. In December of 2016 Jennifer went through chemo and radiation in hopes of shrinking the tumor with little success.

Jennifer has troubles with her left side which makes it hard for her to walk and use her left hand. This is caused by a paralysis. In hopes of furthering the progress of the chemo and radiation Jennifer is trying some alternative medical procedures. Twice a week she travels to Calgary to undergo Hypothermia treatments with is a natural cancer treatment. Also known as thermal therapy. This is a type of cancer treatment in which the body tissue is exposed to high temperatures (up to 113 degrees F). Research has shown that the high temperatures can damage and kill the cancer cells. Hyperthermia treatment may shrink the tumor with minimal injury to normal healthy tissue. Jennifer is also taking Phoenix tears with is a potent and concentrated form of the cannabis plant which has shown in many cases to cure cancer.

The Cobler family has joined together to help Jennifer cope and deal with this terminal illness she is faced with. In speaking with Jennifer and her support system I saw how dedicated to her and her children they were. This is a strong family unit with a positive outlook on Jennifer’s future. The doctors have given Jennifer 5 years to live, which is something that this family is not ready to accept.

In their hearts and minds, they believe that she will be around for many years to watch her children grow and are not about to give up.

Jennifer’s parents Wendy and Dwayne have taken on much of the child rearing responsibilities with Wendy moving into the home where Jennifer and her children live. Making sure that she is comfortable and well taken care of.

As you can well imagine the financial burden for both the treatments and raising these children are astronomical associated with this horrible disease. In an effort to help this family relieve some of the pressure 3 wonderful people took it upon themselves to organize this fundraiser. Donna Widdefield and Jerrid Eichenlaub would be in charge of the band portion of the fundraiser and Bob Dimmer would be in charge of the bike portion.

August 11th Consisted of 3 live bands that played down in the Irvine Campgrounds, where camping was available for all who attended. The Bands, Pickle Juice from Brooks, AB, K-MAG-YOYO from Medicine Hat, AB and Treble The Rider’s Mag - Page 22

Maker from Medicine Hat, AB all donated their time to entertain at this Fundraiser The Stage for the bands was donated by Pat Lessard. Jennifer’s friends made sure that she came out to partake in the entertainment and even got up to dance a couple of times. Watching this young lady have fun with her friends and make the best of her illness warmed my heart to the core. Even faced with this terminal disease this young lady showed so much strength and courage.

August 12th was the poker run. Bob had canvased the community for donation to be sold at a silent auction at the end of the poker run. Riders showed up to support this family and their fight and take part in a day of riding.

Everyone got their first hand at the Redcliff Hylton and the plan was to ride to Jennifer’s house and pick her and her daughter Gillian up to ride to the first stop at Rusty’s Roadhouse in Dunmore, AB, where her parents would pick them up.

When everyone showed up to Jenn’s house they were greeted with smiles and hugs. Jennifer was a little tired from the evening before but excited for her adventure. The kids were enjoying getting their pictures taken on the bikes while Jennifer got ready to ride.

Watching this young mother try to get ready broke my heart. The disease is robbing her of the motor skills she once had, her patience and determination taking its place.

After a bite to eat out at Rusty’s Road House in Dunmore. AB, and Jennifer was safely on her way home, the rest of the riders carried on their way, making stops at Elkwater, AB, Belly Acres (a motorcycle campgrounds) in Walsh, AB, Eagle Valley Campgrounds just outside of Maple Creek, SK where you could buy and extra card for $5.00 and then ending at the Irvine Hotel biker patio for a steak supper.

Jennifer and her family were invited to attend the steak supper and were waiting for the bikes as they arrived that the Irvine Hotel. Once everyone was done with supper we handed out the money for the winning hands and the 50/50, with a large amount being donated back to the Cobler family.

Jennifer was presented $1,350.00 cash from three children who had gone door to door raising money for this family. These 3 kids didn’t even know this family, but took on the challenge of helping them. Chase the youngest child presented Jennifer with a beautiful bouquet of Daisy’s with a shy smile on his face that would light up the darkest room. With his sisters Charity and April Cole they were so proud to present this money to the family. What a wonderful gesture and I’m sure there was a proud Mom looking on.

The evening was filled with laughter and music. The Irvine Hotel hosted the bands from the night before to rock the night away. Silent Auction items were picked up and paid for. After everything was said and done the Bikes & Bands Fundraiser presented Jennifer and her family a cheque for 5,665.00. Not too bad for three people who decided they wanted to help the family. Great work!!

Well that’s it for Momma this month, so many events but not enough time. So many things going on in the next few months. Kanuckleheads Misfits of Christmas December 16, where my husband O.J. plays Krampus, the 2nd Annual Biker Blues Poker Stumble February 24, 2018, and let’s not forget the 2nd Annual Medicine Hat at Area Swap Meet hosted by S.E.A.R April 7th.

Wishing Everyone the Merriest of Christmases and all the best in the New Year!!! Looking forward to the 2017 riding season and hope you all come Riding With Momma! Stay Safe!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 23

2008 HARLEY CROSSBONES

LONDON

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 4th, 2018

Mint Condition Low Kilometres Denim Black Factory Pinstriping

9 A.M. TO 3 P.M.

Sponsored by Hochberg Trial Lawyers 416.524.8321

Coming Soon...MTO Inspection Station • Licensed Mechanic

Spring Fling!

Avoid the rush!

Get Your Motors Running Right for This Riding Season.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 24

$14,999.99

plus HST & License Fee

BOBCAYGEON

presents Feature of the Month

26

27

28

February 2018

Anniversary February 10th, 2018, 10am-3pm

CLASSY CHASSIS SHOP PARTY

Come join us for our

June 24th, 2018 - BOBCAYGEON, Ontario, Canada

FEBRUARY

FEATURE

OF THE MONTH

8th Annual - Bikefest Bobcaygeon 2018 This was an awesome event right from the start and it has grown in popularity and in stature ever since. Last year however vital, major construction projects within the Town, made doing the event impossible and it had to be cancelled!

This was certainly disappointing to the organizers, The Town, local businesses (For whom the event was a real financial benefit), vendors, and of course, the bikers, who look forward to this event!

Well the construction is complete and the obstacles have been cleared and Bikefest Bobcaygeon 2018 is up and running and this one will be the best one yet!

Event Founder and organizer Krazzy has secured solid support and has a great crew of volunteers on board and ready to go! Along with mainstay features like the Show and Shine there are lots of other things in the works for this year that are bound to make you glad you came! There will be plenty of vendors and live entertainment that will thrill all ages!

Come on out June 24th and join in the fun and be part of what is sure to become a Canadian Biker Tradition that will continue to draw crowds from near and far for years to come!

Bikefest Bobcaygeon, a legend in the making! Be part of it!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 29

The Rider’s Mag - Page 30

Talking With Tilly

Well ello ello everyone yet again! I must apologise to many a people for disappearing off the map. As many of you are aware, The Riders Mag has gone through extensive changes in every way, and we are going to seeing more! I had a lot of clerical duties to fulfill and took on some tasks I didn’t think I could do. some I accomplished well, others not so much haha. Critter has mentioned in his articles the new and wonderful lady that has graced our office. Her name is Brenda, and at this point she has gained the name, “Brutal Brenda.” Haha don’t let that scare you off, she is amazing and has been our saving grace in so many ways. She has talents that have shocked me and taught me things I never even thought of learning. Bottom line folks, I LOVE this girl!

Now to talk about what has been going on since, jeeze has it really been August, man am I sorry. Well I hope you are prepared for some catching up. First was the Old Farts Harley Riders. It all started back at Thursty-T’s where I met Denis and his amazing Granddaughter. Denis had explained to me that he held a Ride for his wife, as well as a member of The OFHR, a growing riding club in the Simcoe area. He had expressed to me that his club was organizing a ride in Stayner this year, and the proceeds were to go to the Stayner Food Bank. We exchanged numbers, with high hopes to speak again. A few weeks later (after a quick hello again at Final Frontier) I received a call while sitting in the office, and who should it be? Our good friend Denis! Denis had informed about the event with a breakdown and said to wait for a call from John, to co-ordinate further details. Well Johns call was not too far behind, and we got to talking about what the event was all about. Its always such a treat to work with people, who are truly out there for the greater good of the community. I love to hear about the benefits being held for all sorts of people in their time of need, it is truly heart warming. Definitely one of the many many perks of being a part of The Mag. After all the details were hammered out, I spoke with Critter and he had decided that it would be great to go out that way, meet everyone, and take loads of photos.

September 9th was a Saturday morning, and thank goodness, one of the best of the season! Critter came by in the morning to grab me, and this time I was able to wear clothing that was too much for the heat. The ride was starting at the A&D Bird Feed in Stayner Ontario. This is a family run business, and they opened their doors, and welcomed every one of the riders a hot beverage and timbits (If you know me they won my heart at coffee haha). I was able to chat it up with the brothers of The Old Fart Harley Riders, and got a bunch of great photos with them and their guest riders. As well get to know the owners of A&D, they are a lovely family. To see brother and sister working hand in hand to help out the community, and to bring in the younger and older generations is a true testament to what family is about. They were very fitting hosts to say the least.

We soon all got ready to go, they had to get their rubber on that road, and so did we. See this was one of our busy days, and we had also made plans to go see Bryan at Malicious Cycle all the way in Scarborough. It felt like no sooner than we had arrived, we were saying our goodbyes. After saying our thank yous to everyone for having us out, Critter and I made our way across the street to Greenview Graphics. That spot was massive, and was to be the OFHRs final resting spot. I started shooting my little heart out with that kon, and was able to capture some great shots of the guys heading out towards the sunrise.

I am told by John that they raised somewhere near $1,000.00 and were able to have a great after party at Greenview Graphics. They had music, GREAT food, and it was a fantastic time had by all. The OFHR would like to say a big thank you to their sponsors, A&D Birdseed & Greenview Graphics for everything that they did, as well as anyone who came out to the ride! And Thank you from me for having me, I cant wait for next year!

As I had mentioned before, next on the list of road adventures was Malicious Cycle. We headed out that way, and enjoyed every minute of the ride. With Sun giving me that tan I need, and filling me with warmth only the sun can, we arrived in Scarborough not too worn for wear. As we approached the shop, it was apparent that we had arrived a bit sooner than the guys on the poker run. That was okay though because there was a small group getting everything ready for when the riders did arrive. Critter and I took this as a photo-op/tour opportunity. They are a big deal, these guys are entrepreneurs to the max. The have a tattoo shop, clothing store, boat/scuba supply store, mechanics shop, and they are looking to expand further. My head was bobbling around like one of those little doggies on the dash, taking in what was around me haha.

Not too long after our arrival did Brian, and the other riders start showing up. The gathered quite a crowd by the time we had started to leave, but not before I got to meet some pretty talked about people. Such as our very own, Mister Dangerous Donnie from Durham. Oh my goodness!! It was so freaking great to meet you, sorry if I can be a bit much to take in, but I was really happy I got to meet you!I can be a bit animated at times haha!!

Well we headed back towards Newmarket before the sun could fully set on us, and take away that warmth.

But before dropping me off Critter and I had a quick bite to eat from one the of watering holes in town. This was our opportunity to recap on what a great day it was, while enjoying some nice, deserved, cold drinks. (Have I told you what a great mentor I have!) Well we started going over our next event, and I got super excited as it wass to be the ever enfamous Biketoberfest!

Biketoberfest Bitchs!! Haha Oh Valhalla, was this fun! I was super stoked for Biketoberfest, since Critter explained to me what it was after speaking with Bruce back in jeeze, July I guess. One of my dearest friends has a lot of family from out that way and is from the Hamilton area, so I got this notion to call her up and see if by chance she The Rider’s Mag - Page 31

might be around that weekend. I was in great luck, she had a family function in Welland that day, and said she was even willing to come get me later that night. Can you imagine how excited I was!?

Well Critter and I were on our way, and it was even nicer this weekend than the last. I was dressed up in my leathers and was quickly removing layer after layer. To the point that at one point at the even I had to take off my riders mag shirt and just sport my leather vest from Black Gold, with that pretty riders mag patch on the back that Jennie fro Jennies Leather sewed on. Okay back to the story and off my wardrobe malfunctions haha!! Critter and I got to the Flat Track grounds run by the Welland County Motorcycle Club fairly early, and it was already starting to get pretty packed.

Between the campers, the vendors, and all the volunteers the place was buzzing.

The first person with whom greeted us was Mister Bruce Bissell himself. What a fantastic, charismatic man.

He greeted us with the warmest of welcomes and showed us where everything was, and gave us the rundown of the event. The first place Critter and I went off to see was the camping grounds (which are free). It’s such a great place, and has such a great history and atmosphere to it. The campers were all chipper and full of smiles and waves. Critter even took this opportunity to let me try and the trike out! I can say i wasn’t too bad, not road ready by anymeans. But hey I did it, and now am one step closer to where I want to be haha!

After that adventure we went off to meet the vendors. some of which I had been lucky enough to meet at previous events, and other I was itching to meet. I got to meet the team from Clares, what a great bunch of people. I always knew Lisa was sweet over the phone, but what a pretty girl! Then later on I actually met Will, his lovely wife, and their adorable son! (Thanks for chatting it up with me and allowing the photo ops!) I was able to meet the ever famous Shawn McCooey! This is a man who stole my heart, with his talks of bottled air, and persevered road kill stew.

I was so enthralled by his ingenious ideas, that I was determined to have me my own “Hardley a Davidson Bottled Air” and “Roadkill Stew”. I got to talking to Shawn, and discovered that not only was he a master mind of marketing, but that he also ran an event (I am sure you have heard of) called “The For Erie Swap Meet”. The stories he had, and the events to come for this year , just made me want it to be May 6th now! Thanks for taking the time to chat it up, and explaining your world to me!

Well by this point Critter and I were on our own paths, he had found his thing to do and I went climbing fences to get the perfect shot haha! I was jumping from place to place taking picture everywhere I went meeting new friends.

I was just grabbing another drink and a couple of mags from the back of the trike, when I was approached by a few people asking for my autograph! I was seriously shocked! I was on the cover for that month, and wasn’t initially supposed to be so I really didn’t put too much thought into it. But apparently people noticed more than I had thought, and it was extremely flattering. The few people turned into a whole lotta people, and it was probably the coolest experience I have EVER had! Thank you so much to those of you who took the time to come and speak to me, you were all so freaking amazing!

It started getting on in the afternoon, and Critter told me he was going to be heading home fairly soon. My friend and her boys arrived just around that time, and so Critter got the opportunity to ensure that I was going to be taken care of, as well as give one of the little guys a ride on the trike. We helped Critter pack up and watched him ride off into the sunset. This was when my friend headed off to bring her boys home, and promised to be back in the later hours so I could get more fun in.

Have I mentioned that I am a lucky girl lately? Well I am! Earlier in the day, I was introduced to Quinns Customs very own “Switch”. Let me tell you, Switch was my wing man for the night. He had made me aware of the pact he made to Critter, to make sure nothing happened to me, and definitely stayed true to his word. he stuck by my side while I took pictures of random people and random things, and we got to have a photo op with his bike, and my new lovely friend Tracy.

That was a lot of fun! Switch and I were drinking and finding people to hear their stories, and that’s when we ran into the absolutely lovely Pyper of BRO. I am sure you have all heard Critter talk about her magic fingers, in-fact her daughter was in his article a few months ago. Well Pyper is the best, she definitely knows how to have fun, and make you feel loved!

We were getting into the wee hours when my lovely friend Sarah arrived back on the scene. She stayed for awhile as well, and got acquainted with the people I was hanging out. had a few drinks and was able to enjoy the fireworks and the bonfire we were sitting around. But lets be honest, we had to drive back to Stoney Creek and we are both mothers. So unless we have the kids gone for a whole weekend, its just best to try and turn in early, and we headed home.

Thank you so much to WCMC, LCMC, and big shout out Bruce, Big John, and Matt! What a great time, I know I left some stuff out and I am sorry, but just know I can’t wait for next year!

Okay, okay what is next on zee list of things done? I do believe it would be Iron cowgirls Ride for Ms. Dazzle. This is such a great even, held by some of the loveliest, yet most bad ass ladies you should be so lucky to meet. The lovely lady Marcy, who was Nov/Dec’s Model, rides harder than most men I have witnessed and lead her pack of ladies, and men through the winding road of the Collingwood/Wasaga Beach area.

The memorial ride started at our fantastic Thursty-T’s located in Collingwood.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 32

Ms. Dazzle’s ride is held in memory of Marcy’s mother, Deborah Zrobin Beaulieu. I have heard such wonderful things about Ms. Dazzle, she helped out those in need until the very day that she died, and because of this ride, in death. She was devoted to helping those that truly needed it by hosting a safe house for battered and abused woman for 30yrs.

More people of her stature are needed in this world, and it is wonderful to see her legacy living on. Luckily there is Espirt Place, where a majority of the proceeds go. The way the ladies have set it up is that there is a $25 registration fee for the ride, and then $20 of that goes to Espirt Place. The main goal of Espirt Place is to help woman and children who are in need of a safe place to live when they leave their abusive situations. So we know it all goes to a great cause.

We rode through the hills, on the beautiful back roads of Collingwood and Blue Mountain. I am not too sure who planned out the ride, but koodos to them! I sat on the back of Critters trike and took shots of the scenery, and lovely ladies and gents riding in front of us. The ride was about an hour and half long, and the weather was absolutely perfect for the day. With all the colours of leaves changing and the view of the hillside with the water, was breath taking. I can`t wait to see what they have mapped out for next year.

Upon returning to Thursty-t`s (for some much needed refreshments)1 I was introduced to some absolutely beautiful women, and ran into some already familiar faces. We were able to stick around long enough to see the results of the door prizes, and other contests. We did have to head out before getting on too late in the day, as Critter and I had plans to head even more north! Next stop Tobormoury!

I f you have never been up to Tobourmory, you are missing out! The ride up there is breathtaking, especially during the Autumn months. The colours and scenery, with the warm glow of the Indian summer sun, made this ride one of my favorites! We rode until we met up someone I had been very anxious to meet. Mister Hankster, from the deep down south of Arizona!! Critter has been telling me about Hankster for a while now, all good things and so I was super stoked for this weekend. He was everything I had thought he would be, funny, tall, and full of lots stories and advice!

The whole reason, for us being up in the beautiful tip of the province, was because of a lovely family who called me months ago to be in the Biker Friendly Business Guide. Sharon, her husband Rudy, and Sharon’s father Arthur own and operate a lodge out there. This lodge is so freaking cool, and has such a amazing history behind it. This lodge was built to be an out post back in the early 1900’s, for the use as a wireless post. It is called Trails End Lodge, and you will have to be sure to check it out! I have never been to a place to so beautiful, rich with unusual Canadian history, and an abundance of things to do. The water was crystal clear, and you could see ship wrecks that were deep below the surface. Tobormoury has an amazing landscape, and like I said before, rich history. Arthur does scuba diving tours, and that is definitely something I need to try out. I am a water child and this place just calls to my inner mermaid haha!

Sharon, Rudy, and their highly intelligent grandson Sebastian, made critter and I feel like royalty! They opened their home to us, provided us with our own separate rooms, and decided to stay in their R.V. for the night. Hankster and I got to talking until the very wee hours of the night, and he gave some wonderful stories, and insight to life. Many of you will know him as the founder of “Boot Hill Heres”, well he sold that a few years ago and he and his lovely wife Marsha moved to Arizona. I have yet to meet Marsha face to face but we have exchange e-mails, and I have heard nothing but wonderful things about her, so when Hank also extended his invitation to me to visit his Inn (Arizona Out Back Inn, check it outI was very flattered, and excited for what the future holds!

I woke up Sunday morning to the smell of coffee, so I crawled my zombie ass outaa bed and followed my primal instincts mmmm fooood! Supper the night before was so filling and amazing I didn’t think I would have it in me for breakfast, but when the smell of delectable food is in the air, one’s mind can easily be changed. After I finished being a little piggy, haha, we all geared up and headed out to take a tour of the town, and of course the lodge.

What a beautiful place, and it i extremely tourist friendly. They have a micro brewery that sells beer until 2 in the morning, and it is fantastic beer! Sharon and Sabastian gave us a detailed tour of the lodge and provide us with the long history of the place. There are loads of space to sleep, and they are planning on expanding, to acThe Rider’s Mag - Page 33

commodate more guest and events. I can’t wait to see what comes in the future!

Well we were about to head home, and Sharon had made a pint to load us up with beer from the brewery, and lots of travel guides and info to pass on to our family and friends. What a beautiful, and fulfilling weekend! We met such wonderful people and got to see such beautiful scenery. Thank you so much to everyone I met that weekend, and to everyone for extending their love ad hospitality.

This is where I wrap up my article, there are events that I still need to write about and believe me they are on the way for March. A sneak peak would be that there was the Classy chassis parties, BDR X-mas party, Paradice Riders X-mas party, and The SuperShow. At the super show I got to meet a lovely women, who lost her daughter a few years ago, and now holds charity rides in her honor 3x’s a year. The ride is called Desiree’s Ride, and there will be more on this to come!!

Thank you all so much for the love you show, and for reading my stuff, I love you and thank you for the road you are leading me on!

Much love, and keep on smiling xoxo!

Biketoberfest 2017

OFHR 2017

Malicious 2017 Ms. Dazzle Trails End Lodge The Rider’s Mag - Page 34

Rants And Ramblings From The East Coast

I’m just going to start this year over again!

After receiving the “January 2017” Issue of the mag and reading Critter’s explanation of our new employee known as FUCK, I concluded that he was a resident of the head office. As I leafed through the issue, getting to my article, I ran into ‘WHAT THE FUCK’! Yes he made it all the way out to N.B.!!! It seems the report you are about to read was replaced with the very first article that I wrote for the Mag some two and a half years ago! So we’ll try again, wish me luck.

Sorry to all my loyal readers for missing the last issue, but it was do to shit beyond my control.

Let’s go back to the end of Aug. when the Boss and I had the opportunity to get down to the Shediac Bike Rally in lovely downtown Shediac. We stayed in the same resort as last year, about 10 min. from the venue and had a great time.

Although a bit smaller turnout due to construction (the whole downtown was screwed up) a great time from the people that I spoke to and the Boss and I will be back again next year. Hope to see you there!

Now comes Oct. After a great month of pavement inspection on two wheels shit hit the fan. My body that I have abused for over 50 years decided to fight back! Feeling like crap that my Export, C.C. Vodka or anything else would cure, I ended up at the Hospital in Moncton, Thanks to my sister in law Yolande, who had to drive us to the hospital because of the Boss’s cataract problem (another story in itself) I told the Dr. that she drove a Dodge but she insisted it was a cataract!

After a week in the “institution” I’m home now doing my “job”. But the Boss has gone through two eye operations, which is a big deal here ‘cause it’s a 1.5 hr. drive to get there!

Now comes the recovery period, when I hade the chance to watch the tube. I got the chance to see the Government of P.E.I. go into a panic over a Club becoming prospects for 81, and my Brother Robin in the can for drugs and weapons charges although many people that I have talked to in N.B. did tell me that they have drugs and weapons in their homes.

Go figure! On the up side Robin bought and paid for his new house while he is in custody, (business as usual!). I also saw on the news that The Darksiders Bathursts M.C. had a great fundraiser, donated for Christmas for the poor! What a terrible bunch of misfits we are?

2 Days after my release from the hospital, the Boss and I had the chance to get up to Stewarts H.D. for the annual open house. Although we were a little late we were impressed with the turnout and the basic great decor! Make sure you drop in and say hi to Jr. and family!

In closing I’m officially calling the end of my biking season for this year! All of my bikes are in bed for a few months!

Now it’s time to prepare for the Moncton Motorcycle Show!

The big one out here! See you there!

Until next month, Be well! Atlantic Jeff signing off.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 35

3 Wheelin with Wheelz

Well here we are in the February issue of the riders mag and the crappy white stuff is still around but he 62 days till spring (well as of right now anyways it will be under 60 once this issue comes out and that means under 2 months till spring). This will probably be my shortest column so far as I only covered one event since the last issue came out and there hasn’t been to much to cover in my area anywayso here is goes for this month’s column.

2018 Toronto International Motorcycle Supershow This show is by far one of my favourite shows to attend and I try to never miss is as it is right in the middle of winter and it is a good place to catch up with people that you may only see during riding season. This year I was on double duty in a way cause I was helping out and serving with the Redemption 43ON crew from Disciple Chrisitan Motor cycle club who I am going through the program with and I was also doing my riders mag thing also. Thursday was set up day so contributing writer Sue Kojic (Stitch swap meet Sue) and I headed to the International Centre in Mississaugua after making a few stops along the way. We arrived at the International Centre and Sue found her booth spot so I headed off to find where the Redemption 43ON booth was and it wasn’t to far away in hall 1 than I made my way around the different halls to check things out. When I was making my way back I spotted Mike Gill (Disciple Homer President of the Redemption 43 Crew) and Nu Guy (Prospect for the Redemption 43 crew, his raod name changed later that weekend) and their wives Kim and April, so we headed over to the booth and started to set up and that is when I ran into Tiger from BRO Niagara and we chatted for a bit before he went his way and I went mine ( I hope your mom is doing better

The Rider’s Mag - Page 36

bro); With both booths set up it was time to head to Burlington ( where I was spending the weekend). Up and out the doord early fridayfor day 1 of the show and we arrived early so I went and checked out the bike show with one of my bro’s Mark Leibold (Disciple Slipperz) before it opened to check out all the other exhibitors now that they were all set up for the weekend, on our travels I ran into Dave Hodare from Hogs for Hospice and we chatted for a bit before going our seperate ways and than we ran into Little Dean and some of the Guardians of the Children Toronto Chapter we we chatted with them for a bit before moving on. We stopped by to see Terez from Terez Leather located in Mississaugua as she hed her booth set up in Hall 5 where she always is and we stopped to chat with her for a bit and we also talked to James Taylor from Pace Law Firm located in Toronto and he was telling us about the trip him and his Fiancee had just come back from ( It was good to see you Terez and James).

Moving on we stopped at the Riders Mag booth and talked with boss man Critter, Chantel and Contributing writer Angie Sandow and he husband. Moving one again we ran into Dennis Hillis, Norm Bishop and the group of guys they were with and Norm was telling me about the new bike he has just got ( i’m up for that race anytime man lol), we headed back to our booth as the show was about to get started and the doors were about to open. The first day wasn’t to busy as it was a friday but I did get to chat with a few other people that I knew Dave Lowe and Tim Soules who is the owner of Soules Classic barbers and Soules Classic Ink here in Hamilton. Our neighbors for the weekend were Bikes on Bond on one side and the Infinity Riders on the other and Out for a ride RC across from us and we all got along well the whole weekend. Some of the bro’s from Bikers for Christ stopped by our booth to chat with us for a bit before moving on and checking out the rest of the show ( it is always good to see you bro’s), the day went on and I talked with this one and that one and the show started to wind down so it was time to head for burlington so we headed back for the night. It was day 2 of the show and it was up and out the door early again to head back to the International Centre and it was freezing out so the quckier we got their the better, day 2 was going to be a busy day and it turned out to be just that the crowds started to roll in and the halls were filling up with people and Steve Bell ( the other supporter for the

Redemption crew) and I were given a challenge by our East Canada Boss Matthew Oates ( Disciple Hawk) to go aroud the show and give out small bibles and pray for people if they needed it or wanted it and and we talked with alot of people and we talked with the guys from the Sober Sons MC for a bit before heading back to Hall 1, as we were going around Hall 1 I ran into my good friend Giggles and when we got back to our booth both Steve and I were presented with the opportunity, honor and privalidge to be bumped up from supporter to hangaround for the Redemption crew and we both accepted the tabs with honor. As the day progressed I went and checked out the show a few times and ran into a bunch of people both at the booth and throughout the show to many to remember but the people who talked to me will know who they are. Ok so remember when I said Nu Guy’s road name was going to change well it did on saturday to Fall Guy so here is what happened Nu Guy was trying to blow up one of those inflatable beds tha tyou run or walk with and it fills up with air as you do that ( sorry I forget the name of it at this The Rider’s Mag - Page 37

time) but as he was running down the hall with it he fell and that is where his new road name Fall Guy came from....love you bro it was all in good fun but after that he was pretty popular the rest of the weekend., day 2 was winding down and it was time to head back to Burlington for the night. Day 3 and the las day of the show and it was another busy day as it was the last day for the show and I was finally able to snap some pictures around the show as I went to check it out again with Disciple Hawk and Fall Guy I didn’t get many pictures but a few and I talked with this one and that one on our travels the day went by fairly quickly and it was time to tear down both booths and head for home what an awesome weekend see you all in the sping and throughtout the 2018 riding season.

Well this column has been short since I haven’t had much to report on so hang in there everyone spring will be here soon....only 2 months or so away.

Watch for details at www.bancroftbia.com

BEAT THE

USH GET YOUR RIDE READY FOR SPRING NOW!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 38

Jessie Lee’s Open -Road Experience Hello my friends in the wind! Another month of winter has passed and we are creeping up on spring! Have you planned your 2 wheeled adventures yet? I’m about to tell you of a place that is worth adding to your travel plans!

Feel free to look me up and tell me about them since you read all about mine! (JessieLeeWR on Wordpress, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook) My dad and I took a road trip down the iconic Route 66 one summer and stumbled upon the most amazing mountain town on our journey home. We were riding up Colorado HWY 550, A.K.A. The Million Dollar Highway, when we spotted a small town down in a valley at around 9300 FT elevation called Silverton.

The Million Dollar Highway has earned a reputation with travelers from all over the globe due to its uniqueness in the areas of scenery and adventure, it is literally a giant playground...and a tad dangerous if you aren’t careful! This road winds its way over Coal Bank, Molas, and Red Mountain passes between Durango and Ouray.

The mountains surround you and the curves will astound you! The peaks are over 13,000 FT and the edges of the pavement leave nothing beyond the white line but 1000 FT drop offs with no guard rails. There are many waterfalls along with hiking, biking, and ski trails all around and the 4x4 roads seem to be endless. This magnificent highway is the only paved and maintained year round road that goes in or out of Silverton, all others are more suited for off road vehicles and only accessible about 4 months a year.

It was about lunch time when dad and I came rolling down the mountain into Silverton, the plan was to stop for lunch and roll on to the next town to find a room for the night….well...we stopped for lunch and stayed for 3 days! The beauty of a road trip is that there is no itinerary and plans can change as fast as they are made.

We stopped into a big blue building called the Handlebar Saloon and the owner talked us into staying well passed lunch and then through dinner. By the end of the night we had arranged to go riding with the local towing company owner and possibly the sheriff (I was a tad nervous about venturing out with a member of law enforcement I tend to speed a bit excessively) and had found a room for the night at one of the many hotels in town.

Not only did this little mountain town steal my heart but the people in it did too! The streets are dirt other than the main drag and there are shops, restaurants, and bars lining both sides with no lack of

hotels.

The following day we rode and played tourist all over the San Juan mountains with our new friend and tour guide Donnie and decided to call Silverton home for one more night. We met more locals and enjoyed food and drinks all over town, I was not in any hurry to leave this postcard perfect place.

The sheriff was unable to make our ride that June but I returned to Colorado that September to check out the fall colors (most spectacular display of vivid colors I’ve ever seen, the Aspens set ablaze across the mountain sides!) and revisit my friends I had met. I wasn’t in town long when Bruce, the San Juan County Sheriff stopped in for some dinner and pulled up a seat next to mine. I had known that Bruce rode motorcycles but had no idea that he, like myself, owned 8 of them! Now that was a fun conversation, “I’m an avid motorcyclist, I own 8 of them right now.”

“What? No one owns 8 motorcycles, ...except me!”

We planned a ride with a few other friends in town for the following afternoon and since I didn’t have a bike with me on the trip Bruce was kind enough to loan me one. The others warned me that riding with Bruce was more him making it to the destination then coming back to meet us and ride there again because no one could keep up. I had my doubts about this because I consider myself a pretty decent rider and have a tendency to go rather fast. They were right. We left town and there was no sight of Bruce for several miles until we found him waiting for us on the side of the highway. This is a rider who definitely becomes one with his machine and they become one with the road, leaning into every curve occasionally scraping a knee on the way around, then bringing it right back up to throttle into the next! Bruce says riding motorcycles is a zen thing for him, a stress reliever, and an outlet for life’s troubles, on top of just being one hell of a good time! He has a passion for most things 2 wheels and loves the vintage and cafe racer styles along with his new pride and joy the Africa Twin. Off road or on road and even in the snow Bruce rides in almost any weather or terrain.

I knew the Sheriff was serious about his motorcycles when I The Rider’s Mag - Page 39

walked into his house one day and there on the wall hung a 1959 Triumph TR6 chopper with a John Harmon front end and frame! Around the corner I found a Ducati Hypermotard lounging in the kitchen, then a Kawasaki XR 400 by the back door! This wasn’t all though there was a CB900 next to the sofa, a CX500 and Ducati 900 in the front room, and a Norton Commando 850 by the book case. He later added a 2016 Africa Twin to the mix. Who needs a garage when your back door opens to a ramp for your toys?!

Imagine riding into a town that has a setting looking too amazing to be real and the local law enforcement rolls up slowly scanning your machines, just as you start to get nervous the officer walks up shakes your hand and starts talking bikes! Can you say living the dream!?

Bruce is a bit of a stickler when it comes to wearing proper gear while riding, he wishes everyone would wear helmets, boots, riding pants, and jackets. This comes from not only being a Sheriff but also playing the role of firefighter and coroner over the years and seeing too many pieces of riders left on the road after a crash. Bruce does a pretty amazing job keeping the county in line while riding the wind in his spare time. Between living in Silverton and having the opportunity to ride The Million Dollar Highway as part of daily life along with being keeper of the county I’d say life is pretty grand in Bruce’s world! If you’re ever in Colorado Silverton is simply a must see, depending on the season bring your motorcycles, skis, ORV’s, or just ride the train from Durango, anyway you experience it you won’t be sorry!

June 4th - 10th 2018 would be a prime time for any woman riders out there to make a trip to Silverton. The Steel Horse Sisterhood is having a Womens Motorcycle Summit beginning in Durango and moving into Silverton. There will be inspirational speakers, educational classes, group meals, a street dance, and a scavenger hunt though the mountains. The event is open to all levels of riding and all types of riding. If the mountains are calling you you can find more info at steelhorsesisterhood.com.

I hope to see you all out on the road sooner than later! Thanks for following along!

The Rider’s Mag - Page 40

Joke Page

continued...

Brad and Doreen are taking a horse-drawn carriage ride in the midst of their fun-packed New York City honeymoon. The carriage goes down a cobblestone avenue, and it causes Doreen to cut an incredibly loud fart. I mean, it isn’t often the horse stops and turns around. Being terribly embarrassed, Doreen decides she better start up some kind of conversation. She says, “Brad, honey, should we stop along the way and pick up a paper? Brad says, “Nah. When we go through the park, I’ll reach out d grab a handful of leaves.”

Dirty Johnny gets a newspaper route. He rings the bell and a lady answers just wearing a bra and panties. He says, “Collect day, Miss. That’ll be five dollars.” She says, “I’m a little short on cash, but if you want, I’ll give you sex instead.”

Johnny says, “Alright!” He walks in, she unfastens his pants, pulls them down, and there’s the biggest dick she has even seen. Like a monster! He reaches into his shirt pocket, pulls out a handful of washers, and starts sliding them onto his prick. She’s says, “What are you doing? I can take it all?” He replies, “Not for 5 bucks you can’t.”

A guy walks into a bar and there is a gorilla sitting in the corner. He says to the bartender, “What’s with the gorilla?

The bartender answers, “I’ll show you.” He takes a baseball bat from behind the bar, walks around, and smashes the gorilla in the forehead! The gorilla drops to his knees and gives the bartender a blowjob. When the gorilla gets done, the bartender says, “What do you think?” The guy says, “That’s great!” The bartender replies, “Okay, but don’t hit me so hard.”

An Eskimo’s snowblower is on the blink, so he takes it to get fixed. The mechanic works on it a while, and then he says to the Eskimo. “Looks like you blew a seal.” The Eskimo says, “No it’s just snot.”

West says to the doctor, “doc, My hearings going. I can’t even hear myself fart.” The doctor says, “Take these pills every day for a week.” West says, “Will they make me hear better?” The doctor replies, “They will make you fart louder.”

A couple has been married for 30 years, and they sleep in separate beds. One night the husband is really horney .

He’s got a marble hard-on, a boner a cat couldn’t scratch. He says to his wife, “HON-EY! Why don’t you come over to daddy-poo and daddy make whoopy with mommy? Daddy loves mommy.” She says, “Alright.” She gets out of her bed, and on her way over she tripps over the rug in the middle.

Her husband asks, “Oh poopsie, are you alright? Did my little babycakes hurt her toesie-woesies? Come to me, honeybunch.” She gets in the bed and he fucks her hard. They get done, she gets out of his bed, and on the way back she trips over the carpet again. He says, “You clumsy bitch.”

A group of English gentlemen are sitting around in the den of the London Men’s Club, and it’s a special gathering, because the oldest member, Colonel Rowlinson, is there. One of the men says, “Colonel, why don’t you tell us tales from one of your exploits?” Colonel Rowlinson says, “Well there

The Rider’s Mag - Page 41

Get Your Bike In Shape For This Riding Season.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 42

While not impressed with the weather we have arrived at the Hump month and things should start getting better for motorcycle riders all over! While we can’t get out on the road to ride we have begun the season of motorcycle shows and swap meets which at least allow us to meet up with the rest of our community and plan for the season ahead.

This year for the first time in maybe 25 yrs I did not attend the Motorcycle Supershow at the International center in Toronto! With all the snow and freezing cold weather we had been having and the possibility of power outages looming and roads that were treacherous I chose to hang around the house this year.

Talking about roads brings me to a subject that is very important to all of us because as I was preparing to write my article I heard on the news that for 2018 the number of road deaths compared to the same time last year! That was up by 271 per cent and while it would be easy to just blame the weather conditions the reality is that a lot is due to drivers out there not paying attention!

I am blown away by the number of people that I still see driving and holding a freaking phone to their ear or their heads looking downward and I know the bastards are texting! If they are doing this and hitting things that are really hard to miss like a car or truck can you imagine how easy it would be for them to miss seeing a motorcycle?

I am personally tired of going to Celebrations of Life that should not be taking place until years in the future because of the number of drivers that are killing bikers!

It is up to us to see to it that the police are doing more to protect riders than pulling them over for the height of their handle bars or loud pipes. The month of May has been designated by the province as Motorcycle Awareness Month! That was the brainchild of an organization in Ottawa many years ago called SOAR (Society of Ottawa Area Riders) and along with some local clubs and myself representing The Riders Mag we convinced the City of Ottawa to make an official declaration.

Over time we were able for the month of May to get the Motorcycle Awareness message out on bill boards and with the help of Rob Wilkinson of Safer Roads Ottawa we were able to put large awareness signs on the back of city buses for a month and after a few years the province came on board and made it official province wide.

The reason for me telling you all this is because I feel that with the death toll going up and still so many drivers who are just not getting the message that, if they hit a car they may just dent it but if they hit us they may kill us! So I figured that maybe in whatever town or city you live in you might get together with some of the m e m b e r s of your local motorcycle community and start phoning or emailing the politicians in your area informing them that May is Motorcycle Awareness Month & you want them to make an official proclamation to the press and encourage the police to pay more attention to four wheelers who don’t properly share the road with those of us on two wheels. I am not asking you to get out there like a bunch of protesters and make noise but just start a phone and email campaign to prod your local politicians to promote more awareness of the safety of bikers on the roads. Who knows in some way you might be responsible for saving the life of a fellow rider or even your own.

Last month I mentioned a new event that took place in December in the Ottawa area which was The Celtic Brotherhood Xmas Gift & Craft Show geared to bikers, whether you were looking for something for a fellow biker or perhaps someone The Rider’s Mag - Page 43

who has a biker in the family that they never know what to buy them! It was a lot of fun and definitely there will be a 2nd annual and go from a one to a two day event. TCB held it at the Greely Legion and after expenses the money went to the “A Chance Animal Rescue Inc” that the club is involved with which takes care of dogs that have been abandoned and in many cases abused and the rescue is “No Kill”! Besides helping the dogs it was an excuse to socialize with other members of the riding community.

Besides vendors selling everything from jewelry, t-shirts and leather goods including some awesome leather halter tops there was Harley memorabilia, laser engraving and one vendor had a selection of knives, swords and canes!

A number of local MC’s put up information displays about their clubs. Some of those clubs who came to support the show were the Ottawa Chapter of BACA, the Dedicated Few RC, Bondslave Mc and the GOC. I certainly look forward to the next one and actually I hope the idea catches in some other areas because it’s true shopping for a Xmas present for bikers can be a nightmare of wandering around dealerships etc and some of the unique items at this show you most likely wouldn’t have found in the regular shops. Much of this event was made possible by volunteers who helped out The Celtic Brotherhood and a special note of mention goes out to Myke Bellefeuille, Ron Gordon & of course Jim Poulin one of the founders of the Greely Motorcycle Swap Meet who knows how hard it can be to get a show up and running. Considering the competition that weekend of rainy weather and the Grey Cup I want to give my thanks and appreciation for everyone from vendor to those who came to shop and supporting one more new venue in the Ottawa and area motorcycle community.

Now that we are into February there are a number of events that are taking place including one I just mentioned, The 5th Annual Greely Motorcycle Swap Meet which takes place on February 3rd & 4th at the Greely

Legion and this year Jim has added an extra day for people to both sell or buy because the show is very popular but some people just didn’t feel like loading and unloading for a one day show and I am sure that Jim is onto something and by the way when you do come to the show be sure and stop by the Mag table and grab the latest issue and say hello to me.

The following week if you live in the eastern Ontario region another very popular The Rider’s Mag - Page 44

show is the Syracuse Super Swap & Expo in Syracuse New York and this is a must for many of us not only is there lots to see at the show itself but there are so many places in the city that are popular with bikers such as the famous Dinosaur BBQ which is a favorite not only for me but both the father & son team of Doug & James Taylor who most area riders know especially if you deal at Freedom Harley Davidson. There are other great places to eat and drink at like the Limp Lizard and the Loop Grill and keep in mind most of the hotels and motels in Syracuse offer deals on rooms because it’s the off season so let your finger do the dialing and check out a few prices because Syracuse is worth staying over the weekend.

T h e Montreal Motorcycle Show is taking place on the 23rd 24th and 25th of February in downtown Montreal at the Palais des Congres and for people in eastern Ontario that did not have the opportunity to get down to the Toronto show to see what is new in motorcycles then this is your chance and I have to say that this show over the years is developing into more than just a showcase for new motorcycles! Now there are clubs setting up information booths!

Another very popular thing in Quebec are vacation packages to exotic places all over the world! You can fly in and they have motorcycles ready along with tour guides to see the sites while riding a bike. Last year there were some custom and custom stock bikes and I hope that this year there will be even more! I will let you know next month. Another new event taking place in February will be the Guardians Of The Children “Midwinter Blues” social fundraiser on the 10th at Fatboys Southern Smokehouse!

If you would like more information about it or any of the other events I mention you can go on Facebook and go to “Motorcyco Beau’s Biker Events & Rides In Eastern Ontario” and you can also check out my Facebook group “Motorcyco Beau’s Biker Friendly Businesses in Eastern Ontario” as well.

As Always I urge you to support the events

and rides that are created by bikers and clubs in your area because unlike slick organizations that run events the local riders and clubs will be the same people that come to support your event.

Also please remember to spend your money with businesses such as those that advertise in our Mag or who have proven they are truly Biker-Friendly and have shown their support for our lifestyle and in turn deserve our support and business back. If you have any issue that you think might be of interest to your fellow riders please reach out to me and let me know either by email or on Facebook.

If you have an event or ride or you are a business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them you might like to advertize or even perhaps become a distributor of “The Riders Mag� and if so please contact me by email or by phone.

As always I want you to please remember that we make our Motorcycle Communities stronger by making them better! email: theridersmag.beau@gmail.com Twitter Riders Mag East @ motorcyco_beau You can also read us online : www.theridersmag.com/ online ...... Motorcyco Beau

The Rider’s Mag - Page 45

Joke Page was a time years ago when we were trekking through the Kenyan Jungle. The fussy tops were quite tired, what with carrying all the bundles as they cleared a patch through the tick dense underbrush. We came to a clearing, so we sat to have a spot of tea and regain our strength, when suddenly out of the foliage, leaps a nine foot tiger! Rrrooaarrr! I shit myself.” One of the Gentlemen says, “Well, Colonel, that’s perfectly understandable, what with the huge tiger coming at you.” The colonel says, “Not then you blithering idiot. Just now, when I went, ‘Rrrooaarr’.”

•

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her as an alterboy.

Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room, after his wife delivers their first son. Michael says, “How long til we can have sex?” The doctor replies, “At least wait until he’s walking!”

The Cantors are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, Mrs. Cantor gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car. She says, “Look, it’s shivering. It must be cold. What should I do?” He says, “Put in between your legs.” She says, “What about the smell?” He says,….

Injured in a Motorcycle Accident?

I Can Help.

Free Consultation Over 30 Years of Winning Cases.

No Fees Unless I Recover Money For You

I WORK FOR YOU

(905) 826-3633 timleighbell@bellnet.ca

The Rider’s Mag - Page 46

YEAH I’M TOO FUCKIN LAZY TO PICK UP THE RIDERS MAG FOR FREE! MAIL ME A YEARS WORTH FOR THE COST OF POSTAGE CANADA: $30.00 CDN, U.S.A.: $35.OO U.S.D. INTERNATIONAL: $75.00 CDN

NAME______________________________________________________

ADRESS____________________________________________________ CITY______________________________PROV____________________

POSTAL CODE______________PAPER AND PLASTIC ACCEPTED

___

___

CARD # ______________________ EXP DATE ___________ CARDHOLDER SIGNATURE __________________________

1111 DAVIS DRIVE, SUITE 501, UNIT 23 NEWMARKET, ON. L3Y 9E5 The Rider’s Mag - Page 47

Classic Motorcycle Leathers & Accessories 1813 King St. E. Hamilton, ON

Our Advertisers

A.M.P. ABATE AM Sales Arizona Outback Authentic Custom Cycle BA Machine Bancroft Big Al's Swap Meet Bike Lawyer Bobcaygeon Bikefest Bondslave CC Cycles CJ Cycles Clare's Harley Davidson Classic Motorcycle Leathers & Accessories Classy Chassis Dukes Harley Davidson Eagle Eye Custom Cycles Easy Acres Machines Fort Erie Motorcycle Swap Meet Frank's Magic Crops Fred Hale Motors Greely Swap Meet Hawg Worx Hips Cycle Hog Town Inkuisition Jennie's Leather GP LaserWorks Leather King Lefty and The Goons Lens Automotive Lincoln County M.C. London Swap Meet Mackesy Smye Make It Roar Marcy Flowers by Ms. Design Meetz Small Engines Metal 'n' Ink Mike's Upholstery Mostly Iron Heads Motorcycle Enhancements Mylar & Loreta's Restaurant NCK Nouras Pace Law PD Restoration Pushrod Performance Cycle Queensmen Recycled Gear Robinson Motorcycle Sinfull Delight Smiley & Co. South Central Ontario Electric Spring Motorcycle Show Spring Swap Meet The S-Bend Traditional Motorcycle Wiesner Insurance Zuber & Co.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 50

Pg. 21 Pg. 21 Pg. 13 Pg. 28 Pg. 41 Pg. 44 Pg. 38 Pg. 36 Pg. 46 Pg. 14 Pg. 45 Pg. 15 Pg. 42 Pg. 42 Pg. 14 Pg. 14 Pg. 24 Pg. 15 Pg. 17 Pg. 13 Pg. 24 Pg. 24, 36 Pg. 43 Pg. 38 Pg. 3 Pg. 3 Pg. 46 Pg. 33 Pg. 43 Pg. 25 Pg. 19 Pg. 25 Pg. 15 Pg. 24 Pg. 52 Pg. 19 Pg. 42 Pg. 32 Pg. 41 Pg. 42 Pg. 24 Pg. 24 Pg. 38 Pg. 40 Pg. 45 Pg. 2 Pg. 13 Pg. 14 Pg. 21 Pg. 17 Pg. 40 Pg. 25 Pg. 33 Pg. 15 Pg. 51 Pg. 21 Pg. 38 Pg. 12 Pg. 11 Pg. 4

MORE VINTAGE MORE CLASSICS ‘BIKES ON THE RED CARPET DISPLAY’ OVER FIFTY CLUBS, RIDES AND RALLIES SHOPPING BARGAINS SHOW SPECIALS EXPANDED PICKERS MARKET LARGE USED BIKE MARKET LEATHER FASHION SHOWS 2018 DEALER DISPLAYS

SATURDAY 9AM-9PM • SUNDAY 10AM-5PM SKIP THE LINE UPS WITH ON-LINE TICKET PURCHASING AND SAVE

WWW.MOTORCYCLESPRINGSHOW.COM Peter Derry Productions Inc.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE SPRING MOTORCYCLE SHOW, PLEASE CALL: 905-771-0132