The Rider's Mag Nov/Dec 2015 V17-n08

Page 1

THE RIDER’S MAG

Nov/Dec 2015 Volume 17 - #8

READ FREE ! RIDEFREE !

We Support

Our Troops!!!

The Magazine for Riders from Coast To Coast



Table of Contents Pg. 4 - What’s Shakin’ Still lots to do. Pg. 6 - Cruising with Critter Critter does get around Pg. 18 - Fighting for your rights Rooster sounds off. Pg. 17 - Shenanigans with Sherri O’Irish Sherri’s All over covering some Parties for Fun Pg. 20 - Pacific Ponderings We welcome Broken Angel to the crew Pg. 21- Joke Page Time to chuckle Pg. 26 - On the Fringe Our Calendar Feature and Shop of the Month Pg. 32- My Big Greek Party Donny Peterson the Traveling man Pg. 28 - Calendar and all thats going on. Two Months and Two Pretty Ladies Pg. 36 - From the far East………Ontario that is. Beau’s Out and about. Pg. 39 - Shenanigans Sherri O’Irish does it her way. Pg. 40 - Feature Bike Something Wild Pg. 44 - StickerStoies Sharon keeps on keeping on. Pg. 48 - East Coast Rambler Jeff speaks of the East. Pg. 50 - Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad That Northern Guy, just another Reunion Pg. 52 - One for the Road. Lil’ Red Rocks

®

Published by:

THE RIDER’S MAG Inc.

1111 Davis Drive, Suite 501, Unit 23, Newmarket, ON L3Y 9E5

Toll Free 1-855-873-6680

Fax: (905) 235-5358

www.theridersmag.com Email: rickdavis@theridersmag.com Editor in Chief: Rick Davis Managing Editor: ACE Wolske Office Manager: Diane Davis Publisher Emeritus: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor Emeritus: J.B. Ballantine

Advertising and Sales

Atlantic Canada Rep: Jeff Burgess 506-346-0224 Eastern Ont./Que. Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 Southwestern Ontario Rep: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 Northern Ontario Sales Rep.: Guy Levasseur 705-662-1526

Contributing Writers Aaron Hesmer, Bad Bob, Beau Rooney, Big Scott Dangerous Donnie, Donny Petersen, David Neals, JR McCrea, Jonathan Musson, Kaz, Manon Kellman, Rossaire, Lil Red The Mag Hag, Roostah, Sherri O’Irish, Sharon Nicholson Contruibuting Cartoonists Critter & Michael MacDonald (MAC13) Office Security and Pest Control By: Captain & Rosebud “The Wonder Dogs"

CanWeb

Printed By : COLD WEB

SHEET FED

DIGITAL

GRAPHICS

Printing Inc.

Grimsby, Ontario.

The contents of this magazine are copyrighted and remain the property of:

“The Rider’s Mag Inc.”

Printed in Canada

For Ad Information or Rate Cards Please Contact The Editors or a Sales Rep.

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3


What’s

Shakin’

November

Nov. 1 - Bacchus Chatham’s 3 Annual Swap Meet st

rd

At the Kent Belgium Dutch Canadian Club, 34 Byng Ave. Chatam. 10am ti ll 3pm Admission is only $5 and kids under 12 are free. For table informati on call 306-202-7522 More info at www.BacchusMCOntario.com

Nov 27th- PD Restorati on Annual Open House

4192 Perkins Rd. London, 4pm – 11pm Come on out and enjoy a night on us, Door prizes all night, See our ad on page 10 for more details or check out www.pdrestorati on.ca or 519-652-6200

Nov 28th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® 5th Annual Make-A-Wish Silent Aucti on

Nov. 8th- Motorcycle Swap Meet Peterborough At The Morrow Building on Lansdown St. 10am – 4pm, $10 admission. See our ad on Page 5 for more informati on or call 705-340-2130.

2815 Argenti a Rd. Mississauga, from 11:00 – 3:00 at Jacox Harley-Davidson®. See www.jacoxharley.com for more details.

Nov. 13th- Suck Bang Blow’s Super 13 Biker Party

December

At 443 Highway #20 East., Stoney Creek. Drink Specials, Live Music and a Firdge being Raffl ed What more would you want!.....at the end of Tapleytown Road. Find us on Facebook

Dec. 3rd- Hogtown Cycles Ladies Night

At 164 Main St. in Lucan, 6-8pm Watch out...there’s a Ladies Night about...just for the girls...An evening of Shopping, Pampering, Laughs and Fun. Free Gift Wrapping and WE Pay the Tax. For more info www.hogtowncycles.ca

Nov. 13th- Friday The 13th!!! Nov. 14th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Lunch & Learn on ESP

Dec. 3rd- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Holiday Customer Appreciati on Night

2815 Argenti a Rd. Mississauga A complimentary Lunch & Learn on ESP To Register, please contact our Marketi ng 2815 Argenti a Rd. Mississauga. 6:30-8:00pm. Please visit Manager Julie Marti n at 905-858-6763 or at jmarti n@ www.jacoxharley.com for more details or contact our Marketi ng Manager, Julie Marti n at 905-858-6763 or jacoxharley.com by Friday November 13th. at jmarti n@jacoxharley.com.

& Zuber Company LITIGATION

COUNSEL

David A. Zuber, LL.B.

Certified as a Specialist in Civil Litigation

Free Consultation Personal Injury Disability Claims Medical Malpractice Tel: 416.362.5005 Fax: 416.362.5289 THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 4

Email: dzuber@zubco.com Website: www.zubco.com


Dec 5th- Dukes Harley-Davidson Christmas Open House

5 Classic Car Dr. Blenheim. 9am-4pm, Enter to win a 2015 H-D XG500 Street in support of Pet and Wildlife Rescue. See their ad on page 33 for more Info or check out www.dukeshd.com.

Dec 5th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Annual Christmas Open House 2815 Argenti a Rd. Mississauga, featuring our Bury Annual Bury The Bike Kick-Off where all donati ons made will go directly towards The Salvati on Army & Cookie Challenge. Please visit www.jacoxharley.com for more details or contact our Marketi ng Manager, Julie Marti n at 905-858-6763 or at jmarti n@jacoxharley.com. Dec 10th- Hogtown Cycles Men’s Night

At 164 Main St. in Lucan, 6-8pm There Ain’t No Night Like a Men’s Night... Free Gift Wrapping and WE Pay the Tax. For more info www.hogtowncycles. ca

Dec 12th- Clare’s Harley-Davidson’s Holiday Open House

At Clare’s Niagara on the Lake, 590 York Road. All day event with Draws and Door Prizes throughout the day. Stop in early and have a coff ee on us. We will be accepti ng Nonperishable Food Donati ons for Pelham Cares. www.claresharleydavidson.com

Dec 19th- Hogtown Cycles Annual Christmas Open House

At 164 Main St. in Lucan, 10am-3pm,Live Music, Snacks, Refreshments & Door Prizes & Instore Specials. Bring your kids, bring you pets, bring your family....Santa is in the “Hogtown House” – Free Pictures with Santa 12-2pm. Don’t forget a non-perishable food item or unwrapped toy for the Middlesex Food Bank. We pay the tax. For more info www.hogtowncycles.ca

January

Jan 1st- HAPPY NEW YEAR

Jan. 8th-10th- North American Internati onal Motorcycle Show

The Big One at the Airport, Internati onal Centre on Airport Rd. Friday- Noon- 10pm, Saturday- 10am – 9pm, Sunday- 10am – 5pm. For more informati on see www.motorcyclesupershow.ca or call 1-888-661-7469.

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 5


Cruising With Critter Well this year has gone by at blinding speed but by all accounts it has been a good year on the whole and we have all had our share of good and bad but hope that the good outweighs the bad and we ready ourselves for what the future holds in store for us. The Trike can now go backwards with the twist of the throttle rather than leg strength as the reverse gear has been installed and she is well on her way to being finished with only minor things like final paint for the rear fenders and lowers and she will be ready for The SuperShow in January at the International Centre. Petoonia’s newly painted parts are almost finished and I hope to soon start stripping off her old weathered and worn parts and putting all the great new stuff that I’ve pick has been accumulating in a large box including the LED Headlight that Daytona Motorsports in Weston sent me many months ago to evaluate (I haven’t forgotten, just waiting for factors like time, parts and timing to align with Jupiter and Mars and the moon is in the seventh house.) and I can hardly wait to get her all done! For myself and the Mag it has been another incredibly busy period with all time slots crammed with things to do and places to go with events stacked on top of events and it has been a real challenge at times to get out and cover them all. We are made up of a growing band of volunteers who all do the best that we can to get out there and give you the best coverage that we can on our own dimes in an ever expanding area that we have to cover as the popularity of The Mag continues to grow. The list of contributors is growing to meet those needs as well but in all things, change must come as we are all affected by things that are beyond our control that happen in our individual lives and our roster is quite often affected by these occurrences and some our temporarily unable to get out there. Many of you get used to this person or that person coming out to your events but situations in our personal lives sometimes make it impossible to make it out so you may get someone new with a different perspective out who will hopefully do you proud. As I said, we are rapidly expanding and this year have arrived in the East Coast and our man Jeff is doing a great job representing us and giving coverage to our beautiful Atlantic

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 6

Provinces and the great riders events and businesses out that way. Jeff was not alone out there as our other Mag representati ve Greg who delivers and covers events for us in the Haggersville/Port Dover area and who along with his bride Jean are riding fanatics and cover a lot of ground on their motorcycles each year were also at The Rally and they teamed up and did a great job covering the Annual Wharf Rat Rally this year. It was our first time attending this amazing event and judging from the reports I’ve heard it won’t be the last. We welcome the riders, the businesses and the organizers of events in those Eastern Provinces to our publication and we will endeavor to give you the coverage that has endeared us to the riders and businesses out this way for the past 17 years. It has been my personal dream to make The Riders Mag a magazine that can be picked up anywhere in Canada and you will be able to see what is going on in all the different parts of our great nation as it pertains to bikers and biker events from one coast to the other. So as of this issue we have reached out to the West Coast and will be introducing you to our West Coast representati ve Susan Howey and others as they come on board and provide coverage of real biker events from beauti ful Briti sh Columbia. This is an exploratory trip to see how we are received in the new areas and will see if we can get enough support to sustain ourselves and be viable. I think we can, so I’m taking a shot. We don’t expect to become the biggest and best overnight and take these new areas by storm just because we decide to go there but we intend to be a real presence, not as someone from a different part of the Country charging in to claim new ground but rather just giving the riders and biker related businesses from one coast to the other a national biker publication that represents riders at real biker events. Not just the big budget glitzy ones but the down to Earth but solid ones that the real bikers in all areas have grown to love over the years. The real hang outs and bars and the down to earth businesses that exist everywhere in this great land where real people feel at home. I would like to see a publication where a rider from anywhere who is planning a trip already has a clear insight into which spots and events that they can plan their route on and around. To give them an idea where they already know that they will fit in and what things are going on, when and contact information, both in print and online. There are businesses in all parts of the Country who rely on biker business to survive and would like to make their presence known. I think that the Riders Mag is the right vehicle to get that word out there. With the support of our Website I know it can be done and am willing to give it a try. We will see how it will work and hopefully riders from all parts of Canada will Read Free and Ride Free with The Riders Mag


guests and enjoyed the company. It was shaping up to be a great night. A bunch of us were outside checking out the bikes when Ralph Sr. and his bride Dianne arrived I gave him my best regards and wishes and explained that I couldn’t stay long got some pictures and then headed for home. Critt er Country/Black Gold Show and Shine 2015

Ralph Tota Benefi t Party I was saddened to hear of my dear friend Ralph Tota being diagnosed with Prostate Cancer from his Son Ralph Junior. They wanted to do a benefit for him to lift his spirits and to perhaps offer some financial aid and support during the challenging days ahead. We were on deadline for the Mag and I had lots to tend to back at the office and knew I wouldn’t be able to stay long but had to swing over for even short visit at the very least. It was a beautiful day for a ride and the Trike was running like a dream and the miles between my place and the beautiful little town of Erin were all in my rear view mirror before I knew it. We rolled into the Legion’s parking lot to find it rapidly filling with cars trucks and a large number of motorcycles. I found a spot for the Trike allowing for easy departure access as my reverse gear had yet to be installed and had some people come over to check it out. It does attract a fair amount of attention wherever it goes. I sauntered in to find the band setting up and all the pre event activity keeping the organizers including Ralph Jr. busy, but Jr. spotted me and rushed over to buy me a beer. His Dad had yet to arrive so I just mingled with the other

JACKETS

VESTS

Quality Knives

CHAPS

GLOVES

T-SHIRTS & MORE

CHECK OUT OUR NEWEST LOCATION NOW OPEN AT

FOLDING AND FIXED BLADE MAJOR BRANDS AVAILABLE

We Sell Authentic

I really have to think as to how many years I have been doing my Show and Shines and just how many I have done in various venues but I know it is quite a few. Moving from different spots in Newmarket to Barrie then back again to our current spot in Newmarket. This location has proved to be a great venue allowing us to have our own Beer Garden and certainly works well in terms of parking and accessibility. Once again we lucked out with great weather and although I did hear of rain in surrounding areas we didn’t get any and it certainly didn’t affect our attendance. In fact, I think this might have surpassed all other years in terms of attendance including that of those at the 400 Market in Barrie which met most of our needs other than the Beer garden being in the event itself. I once again enlisted the help and expertise of Ravi from “Big Daddy’s Bar and Rock and Roll Emporium” in Newmarket to provide the food and refreshments for the hungry and thirsty crowd. However Ravi’s participation at this year’s event was questionable as he was going through some difficult times in his personal life and the construction

487 Dundas St. W. Belleville, Ontario

Apparel

613-743-4644

R R

R

1228 Gorham St. Unit 2 Newmarket, Ontario

416-804-2292

blackgoldleather.co@hotmail.com THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 7


to the Alzheimer’s Society as with Gord from Black Gold. All I want is a good event with good food and drinks at a reasonable Now Helping people for over 12 years. price. I’m not in this to make money. See what others say. See testimonials online. Gord looks after the portapotties and securing the courtyard for the day. I look after advertising and promotion, the band and other stuff like seating. This year I invested in 10 fold up picnic tables and some umbrellas to go with the chairs that are still on loan from the Paradice Riders MC. They worked nails or to quote my buddy Bronson (Just on Davis Dr. certainly wasn’t making things easy for his because I really like the expression.) “Handier than pockets business and as much as he wanted to, he was doubtful as to on a shirt.” Adequate seating and shelter was something how much time he would have to devote to the event to do it sadly lacking at previous events at this location and I noticed justice and it looked like he would have to bow out this year. that people were staying longer and seemed to be enjoying I stopped in one afternoon for a 50 and a bite to eat and the event much better. I will be watching Costco for sales on former Waitress/Bar-tender/redheaded dynamo, Donna this product as I could use a few more and more umbrellas just happened to be in there. She asked about the event as well. So if you notice them give me a heads-up in case that I miss it. My managing editor Al had been busy fussing with the finer points and getting the final set-up done in regards to our own sound system, that was separate from that of the band and making sure that there were ample electrical outlets to serve the band as well as the beer garden and on the morning of the event we were set up earlier and with

and when told that Ravi might not be able to do it instantly turned on a heel, walked into were Ravi sat in a meeting and volunteered her services to run it. I could see the broad smile spread across Ravi’s face and the two of them rushed out to inform me that they were in! Great news! Ravi looks after all licensing, fees and everything in regards to catering and he always keeps the prices low, the quality of food up and the selection of beverages high! Donna would look after managing staff, supplies and the menu and all the other details. I ask nothing else of the bar whatsoever, (Well other than to have a good supply of Labatt ’s 50 as there were more than just me that come to my event that drink it.) no percentages, no kick-backs other that a voluntary donation

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 8

less muss and fuss than any of the other previous events. Our crew of volunteers which this year was to include Beau, Chuck E and members of the Celti c Brotherhood who are always such a huge support to myself and The Mag came in from the far eastern part of The Province, Al’s son Thomas, Mr. Mike (Our other cartoonist) along with his two boys Andrew and Richard, and a fi ne showing of our other intrepid contributors, Bad Bob, Big Scott , and our Sensati onal female staff Sherri O’Irish, Sharon “Sti cker Chick” Nicholson, Our “Mag Hag” Tanya, Magnifi cent Manon, Paula AKA “Litt le Red”, Perky Pamela and Peppermint Patt y who we haven’t seen for far too long, and they were absolutely everywhere making this event the best and easiest of any previous ones. Our Northern Guy, Guy was taken down for the count by a bout of the flu that had him stuck at home but sent his


apologies. Donna had put together a great team to make sure that the Beer Garden ran smoothly and she had chosen another bar tender/waitress from Big Daddy’s, the beautiful (And as would be demonstrated later, an incredibly talented singer) Ali and she was a treat to see, hear and did a fantastic job as server! She was invited by the band to come up and sing. Wow! She was amazing and the band wanted to keep her going but her absence from the beer tent might have caused a riot as it was a hot day and there were a lot of thirsty folks out there, so she declined. Great voice, great lady and we were all thrilled to have her there! Anyway, they were set up early and had coffee and fantastic peameal bacon on a bun right from the get go. They did at one point run out of both food and beer, a circumstance soon rectified by a quick run back to the bar for more of everything! They came in well stocked to start so this was a really good indication of how well the event went off and to the attendance. The vendors which this year was to include of course Gord and the whole Black Gold crew bolstered this year by Frenchie and his lovely wife from Black Gold, Belleville, Ray and James

from Pace Law, Rod Barber and his lovely assistant/wife from Wizards products with their spectacular line of cleaning and detailing products, Fred and Amy Hale from Strictly V Twin came down from Beautiful Pefferlaw with some of their

merchandise. My pal Tracy from ABATE brought her fine jewelry and other fanciful stuff along with her entourage down for the day (Sorry Tracy! A frantic search of my desk top, every conceivable pocket and the pile of things that Godzilla has saved from going through the laundry, things that came out of Petoonia’s beer box and other bags and pouches, the box and pouches on the Trike and The Black Bitch’s many hiding spots has produced nothing but a whole pile of things that I had long given up hope of ever seeing again, didn’t know was missing yet or didn’t even know I had, frustration but nothing that resembles the business card that you gave me) that I can’t remember the name of your company or phone number so I owe you one. But you did get a pin, a sticker and a shirt…but then you and your friend gave us our only boob shots of the day…we’ll talk. As usual Johnny Sombrero and his large, fine crew of Black Diamond Riders MC members

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 9


and supporters came out with his big display of support gear ad memorabilia. John and the BDR’s have been huge, enthusiastic, supporters of this event since the very beginning and their attendance is always very much appreciated. Then there was one particular display that was brought in by Al, which due to my aversion to snakes really didn`t set well with me, at first, and that I thought might not have been really appropriate but in retrospect, it did prove to be quite an attraction. The snake guy, Shane, along with several of his slithering reptiles were quite popular and there were line ups of people wanting to cuddle and have their pictures taken with them. So while I’m not, never have been and never will be a “snake person” when asked, to take pictures I did comply but stayed a good distance back with a zoom lenses and wouldn’t venture any closer than I absolutely had to. I have to concede that the snake guy was a hit and will be invited back to future events as long has he and his slithering, beady eyed companions are set up a good distance away from me. My buddy Dave who played at my very first gig with a different band has formed a new group with some absolutely fantastic musicians that has been gathering great revues throughout Ontario “Eye for an Eye” and had agreed to play our little gig. They were an absolute hit and certainly made a great impression may have gotten more bookings from many of the attendees. I change up the bands for every gig but always try to have first rate live entertainment and from what I heard both from the band’s performance and the reaction to them. I hope to be able to add video to the website soon so that you can hear what I’m talking about and trust me, this band was well

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 10

worth listening to. For more info call Dave Lyons; 647-2263871 or Steve Suekey 289-2140-1786. The Show and Shine was so well attended and there were so many dear friends and Clubs that made it out and participated, The Brothers of the Blade MC and the Outlaws MC who have also been great supporters of this event, The Riders Mag and myself for years and were out in large numbers as were the Paradice Riders MC, Bacchus MC, Satudurah MC, and many others. It was fantastic to see good, long-time friends; Tramp and Penny Warner. Especially with Penny back in the Wind after the many trials and tribulations that have plagued her over the past several years which goes to prove that you can’t keep a good woman down. Bryan an d Olga from Outspoken Josh and the Marvelous Maggie from TombStones Cycle in Richmond Hill not only were sponsors but participated as Judges. The day was a blur and before I knew it, it was time to do the Awards and the draws. With so many fine motorcycles entered it was a difficult call for the judges and there was an obvious mix up in the documentation, some kind of clerical error or whatever but some prizes went to wrong people and we do apologize but shit does happen and we will try to do better next time! Thanks to all of our wonderful sponsors; The Show and Shine Winners are; Best in Show Sponsored by: Brothers of the Blade MC Winner – Jim MacKaskill People’s Choice Sponsored by: The Outlaws Canada MC Winner – Terry Ward Best Paint Sponsored by: Malicious Cycle and Clothing 1st –Larry Carkner 2nd – George Shurpa Street Custom Sponsored by: Mackesy Smye Lawyers 1st – E. Heaney 2nd – JJ Radical Custom Sponsored by: Pace Law – Motorcycle Division 1st – John Dowling 2nd – Terry Ward Road Warrior Sponsored by: TombStones Cycle 1st – Frank Klonowski Jr. 2nd – John Dowling American Cruiser Sponsored by: Paradice Riders MC 1st – Gary K. 2nd – Jim Newell American Touring Sponsored by: The Black Diamond Riders MC 1st – Gilles Doiron 2nd – Tramp Warner Metric Cruiser Sponsored by: Big Daddy’s 1st – Steven Chew 2nd – Richard Stevenson Metric Touring Sponsored by: Motorcycle Enhancements 1st – Richard Stevenson 2nd – Not awarded Sportster - Sponsored by: Boot Hill Hearse 1st – Frenchie 2nd – Donna Mullin Ladies Bike Sponsored by: Wizard Products 1st – Linda Park 2nd – Caroline Thorburn Trike Sponsored by: Malicious


Cycle and Clothing 1st – Neil Strath 2nd – Harry Blaese Vintage Stock Sponsored by: Strictly V Twin 1st – Doug Hart 2nd – Bill McCallum Vintage Modifi ed Sponsored by: Fred Hale Motors 1st – Bruce Clark 2nd – Jerry K. Best Briti sh Sponsored by: Black Gold 1st – Thom Papp 2nd – Mike Russell Special Interest Sponsored by: Jabber’s Airbrush Studio 1st – Donald Luis 2nd – Not awarded Sport Bike Sponsored by: The Riders Mag 1st – Not awarded Furthest Travelled Sponsored by: The Rider’s Mag Winner – John Dowling Frank Klonowski Dec 21, 1949 – Sept. 10, 2015 – RIP - GBNF

last issue. We got some pictures of him on his old Shovelhead with the models that day and that was the last time he threw CYCLE SALVAGE his leg over a motorcycle on this Earth. In talking to YOUR 1 STOP SHOP him for the last time just FOR NEW AND USED days before his passing he PARTS was so happy to have been able to do it that day and SPECIALIZING IN THE said that even the next day 4 MAJOR JAPANESE would have been too late as he wouldn’t have had BRANDS: the strength to do it. YAMAHA, SUZUKI, He slipped away, peacefully at home with KAWASAKI & HONDA his family, his dogs and the cat around him on a bright and beautiful afternoon free at last from the pain that he had been in for quite some time. He had said that he hoped the sun would be shining when he passed, he got his wish. The sun would see him to his final resting place as well. I rode the Trike out to Beaverton and pulled up in front of the funeral home to find a large gathering of people milling around out front and huge strings of motorcycles lining the curbs on both sides 125 MAIN STREET of the street. This came WOODSTOCK as no surprize as Frank was a solid biker and his entire family ride and he OUR NEW PHONE# had many friends and 519-533-5177 this would be a send-off fit for a man who loved motorcycles and embraced the lifestyle as he did right to the end. There would have been bikes there even if there was a blizzard blowing. But we were blessed with the beautiful weather that Mother Nature had provided on this day and we were grateful for it. The service was fantastic, full of “Frank stories” and laughter was predominant throughout. That would have

CHECK OUT OUR INVENTORY ONLINE OR GIVE US A CALL

WE ALSO SELL CERTIFIED USED MOTORCYCLES BUY ONE NOW AND WE’LL STORE IT TILL SPRING FOR FREE.

It is never easy to say your final farewell to and old and trusted friend, but unfortunately, that is one of the realities of life as we know it that we have to accept; and we will all have to Part Company at some point in time and it is just a crapshoot, fate, or just plain luck of the draw who lives and who dies first. But the inedible truth is that we all will die someday, but quite frankly, I am getting really tired of outliving my friends (Many, much younger than myself) and having to say goodbye once again and am left with that too familiar, hollow feeling. Such was the case with Frank Klonowski a friend whom I loved and respected and held in great regard. I will miss him greatly as will anyone who had the privilege of meeting him, yet again, knowing him. He was a great help to me here with the Mag and was out with us several times to help out at events and served me well as my wheel man and bodyguard on a couple of occasions on deliveries when I was unable to drive and needed help. We got to do a photoshoot shortly before his death using both of Frank’s bikes to pose our models on for the September and October calendars that featuring his son Jabber’s Airbrush Business that appeared in

www.nckcycle.com

MULTIPLE AWARD WINNING

CUSTOM SHOP 427 SPEERS RD. UNIT 9 OAKVILLE, ONTARIO

905-842-2123 1-888-842-2123

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 11


Miss Dazzle’s 1st Annual Memorial Ride

pleased Frank as he was about the most cheerful person I have ever known. He always had a twinkle in his eye and you could never tell what would come out of his mouth or what he would do next. Frank was an adventure to say the least and you had to expect the unexpected when you were in his company. With the service over we moved to the task of taking Frank for his final ride through the streets of Beaverton to the Cemetery just east of hwy. 12. It was a large pack and it moved quickly and seamlessly thanks largely to the skilful and much appreciated blocking provided by members of The Brothers of the Blade MC who had also came out to pay their final respects. We laid Frank to rest in a beautiful spot under a tree not far from the road which was well suited to him and his spirit, before moving off to the Beaverton Legion Hall for a celebration of life at the appropriately named; “Frank’s Garage Party”. Again, “Frank stories” brought smiles to faces as the exploits of this wonderful human being were shared and many a glass was raised in his memory, his trusty red Shovelhead Harley sitting proudly at the front of the room amongst the flowers, and the display of pictures that represented his life, as if waiting for Frank to throw his leg over it one more time and sail off down the road with his long beard spread out in the wind, that broad smile on his face and that twinkle in his eye. Those stories and the memories of happy times that we shared are part of Frank’s legacy. He will never die because his spirit lives in all who knew him through those memories and stories. When they come to mind and are recounted and you find yourself smiling Frank lives on. I see Frank in all his sons and grandchildren they all have that Frank twinkle in their eyes. He lived his life his way and left bits and pieces of his life behind for all of us in those memories. I have mine and cherish them dearly. They make me smile and they help pull my spirit from the dark places that I occasionally drift into. I can picture myself in Frank’s garage picking a cold 50 (Which he kept in stock for me on my monthly visit while delivering the Mag.) from his funky beer fridge. Tossing the cap at the tin can affixed to the wall by the door in hopes of winning a free beer and then sitting amongst the pictures, memorabilia, mementos, motorcycles a multitude of tools and projects in progress that are part of a life well lived and just kick back and relax a while with a solid friend and confidant. I will miss those visits and I’ll miss him. Before my departure I just couldn’t resist picking out the prettiest girl in the room who turned out to be Frank’s niece, Jessica and posing her for a couple of pictures on that bike that Frank loved so much. Frank would have been disappointed in me if I didn’t!

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 12

Can you feel the wind in Heaven Can you hear us call your name Can you see the tears that fall This world won’t ever be the same Can you feel the wind in heaven When we gather in a group Can you hear the sound of silence When we look where you oncestood Can you feel the wind in heaven Can you hear the ladies cry Can you feel our broken hearts When we have to say goodbye Can you feel the wind in heaven While the men hold back the tears Leather clad and watery eyes And know we’d rather have you hear I hope there is a biker heaven Where we will meet again And shake your hand on that day When you welcome us in

The purpose of this ride was to commemorate and pay tribute to a fine lady who was well known and well respected not just in the motorcycle community but the community as a whole due to her compassionate nature and her desire to make a real difference in the lives of others. For 30 years she ran a secret safe house in Sundridge for women and children who were trying to escape abusive relationships and dangerous situations. At first it was just for those in the Biker World which Debbie {Who became better known as Miss Dazzle.) understood very well, but soon her reputation spread to the surrounding Community as well and while her location was always kept a strict secret she was known to community agencies like Esprit Place as an excellent contact who could take women and children into her home on very short notice for undetermined periods of time until destinations and safe transport to those destinations could be arranged. Her doors were always open 24/7. Marcy and her sister Brandy were well aware of what was going on and were proud of their Mother and the cause that she championed and would occasionally pick up women hitchhikers and end up bringing them home for their Mom to help. The apples don’t fall far from the tree. The girls grew up in ShangriLa with Bikers as their role models and mentors. It shows in the calm demeanor, composure, selfassurance and poise that I’ve always recognized in Marcy. Marcy relates with pride, an


instance, when around 5 years of age, where Bernie Guindon brought her up on stage and presented her with a huge trophy for “The most Improved Rider”. This is the real Biker World that followers of TV Shows like Sons of Anarchy and movies that sensationalize bikers have no idea exists’ A World where children are taught respect and to determine values, truths and realities for themselves. Miss Dazzle was the founder “Northern Roads” 15 years ago. An Independent riding group for women who would do rides with Northern Roads as their routes and Northern Communities as their destinations. After about two years the name was changed to what is now “The Iron Cowgirlz” with the “Z” prominent at the end to differentiate them from the “Iron Cowgirls” which is a United States Club. Her Daughter Marcy, has taken over as Leader of the Group since her Mother’s passing and is reluctant to call themselves an actual Motorcycle Club but they seem like Club at least as I see it, they are a Women’s Riding Club with specific goals and structure and they now have membership from all over Ontario. They do an Annual Women’s ride with a mystery destination that is open to all women including those from other Clubs. It was a beautiful day, although somewhat cool but not unusual for this time of year as I loaded my stuff on Petoonia. I was restricted as to how much gear I could pack on her as I hadn’t yet got her beer box back from the painter who was understandably behind schedule due to a family tragedy. I

had been hoping to take the trike but she was tied up in the shop getting her reverse gear installed and wasn’t yet ready for action. I headed north to the beautiful town of Gravenhurst which was the starting point for the Iron Cowgirlz MC, 1st Annual Miss Dazzle’s Ride. I had really been looking forward to this event. First, because I really like Marcy and any of the members that I have met, along with the fact that I liked the purpose of the ride plus I just absolutely love the North. Although I don’t get the opportunity to get up that way very often anymore, it is sort of returning to my roots. My Dad was from Sundridge and my Mom from the Calendar/Corbeil area and they are both buried up here in the North. I have many relatives and friends up there and I used to spend summers working on my Uncles farm helping with the haying and other chores back when I was just a kid and although they had a tractor, much of the work was done by horse drawn wagons, rakes and pitchforks to load. Needless to say I was in fair shape by the time summer vacation came to an end. As I rode through the rugged landscape the musty fragrance of the pine and cedar created a heady elixir that took me back to the days spent hunting and fishing with my Dad and brother and later my Son in many of the spots along the way. I used to drive truck up through here a lot too, delivering loads for outfits like; the LCBO, Canadian Tire, United Coop, Phone books, and way back, Eaton’s and Simpsons

AT HEAT UP THE TOUCH OFA BUTTON

OPERATE EITHER BY INDIVIDUAL RECHARGEABLE MW 12V BATTERY PACK OR VEHICLE’S STANDARD 12-VOLT ELECTRICAL SYSTEM

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 13


Catalogues and so many others over the years and have many fond memories and as I rode they came flooding back. I was in for a real treat as the Cowgirlz had laid out a fantastic very scenic route that would take us through to the final destination in Sundridge. Other than a quick pit-stop in Sprucedale as some needed to take on some fuel (Yes, Mike Brennan I rode right past your Sprucedale Inn Hotel and didn’t stop in for a visit and a 50. It wasn’t a scheduled stop and I had to stay with the pack or I wouldn’t be able to catch up and keep to the timing of the event.), we rode straight through with the Girlz setting a really good pace leading us through those awesome winding roads with some spectacular scenery with the leaves just starting to change colour. Some of the vistas were breathtaking and could be distracting at times. These Girlz are not just pretty faces trying to pass themselves off as bikers as they can ride. And ride they do! Macy and her Sister of the Wind Lori (Who proudly wears Miss Dazzles vest) led the pack with other members doing an excellent job of blocking for the pack when needed. Their familiarity of these roads was evident as they rocked on through those twisty roads. A couple of tight turns and switchbacks had me wishing I had dropped another gear at times but I managed to keep up. We arrived in Sundridge where things were all set up at The Sundridge Lions Club Park, there was enough food to feed a small Army courtesy of Lynn and Jerry May and a great local band “The Usual Suspects” was ready to entertain the enthusiastic Crowd with their fantastic renditions of classic Rock and Roll tunes. There were vendors and displays of some really great spray paint art and other interesting stuff as well as a large table overflowing with prizes to be won, set up in this beautiful location right by the water. Who could want for more? Esprit Place, Family Resource Centre Serving the District of Parry Sound would be the recipient of all money raised from this ride had a table set up explaining all the good work that they do and the service that they provide Women and Children in such a very large area. They do what Miss Dazzle had been doing for all those years and she had been one of the contacts that Esprit Place would call when they needed help and they knew that they could count on Debbie. All in all the Iron Cowgirlz raised over $2000.00 for this very deserving cause. They put on a great ride through some fantastic countryside and did Miss Dazzle’s memory proud. I had a great time but had to get on my way as I still had another stop to make and even had a guide to get me there. Brenda, one of The Iron Cowgirlz just happened to be heading to that very destination which was The Brothers of the Blade Muskoka MC Chapter Clubhouse where they were holding

Stock or Chopper Dyna Replacement Frames 1 Marconi Court Unit #9 Bolton ON

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 14

their off the road party. So I said my goodbyes to some really great people and headed down the road. If you are looking for a great ride next year and in years to come, keep an eye on The Riders Mag and do yourselves a favour and mark this one on your calendars. Black Hawks Show and Shine It was another gorgeous day as I swung my leg over Petoonia who was glad to be out and about even in her half naked state and pointed her front wheel towards Hamilton and was off for another great time with some really great people who really know how to put on a Show and Shine. It was my original intention to leave early and be able to catch the start of another event The Hamilton Biker’s

Church Poker Run which was to start at Suck Bang Blow that morning, before continuing on to Mount Hope that was the original plan. But we all know what can happen to the best laid plans of mice and men. I got up and was ready to go in plenty of time but made the mistake of stopping in the office and checking the computer for e mails and such first. “I’ll just answer this one e mail or just clean up this one little task.” Is like saying you’ll only eat one peanut. That is where “The Plan” began to unravel. I looked up at the clock and realized that “plenty of time” was a fleeting thing and I was now well behind time. I arrived at Suck Bang Blow to find an empty parking lot save for a few seagulls with not even a straggler left behind to relate my story to and so went on through to


Bobby’s Bar in beautiful Mount Hope too late for one event but early for the next. The large parking lot was already filling up as I rolled in and parked Petoonia to the side of the building. One of my favourite long-time Black Hawks members, Mouse came up as I gathered up my camera and hat from Petoonia’s side bag, his big old mustache can’t hide the constant wide smile that is permanently plastered across his face and I answered a question that would be asked many times during the course of the day and that I’d heard numerous times up in the North Country yesterday “Where’s the Trike?” to which I replied that it was in getting her reverse gear installed and it wasn’t quite ready to go yet due to some unforeseen problems experienced by my mechanic. I should have just printed out cards or had the explanation printed on a t shirt or badge. I went inside and ordered some of Bobby’s great food and a cold 50 to go with it, many of the Black Hawks members stopped by the table to say hi and was told that they had some 50 set aside back behind the bar with my name on them. I wandered out into the parking lot to find many familiar faces among the large crowds of people who were milling around a great looking field of motorcycles that was increasing at a fast and steady pace. I spotted one of our other contributors and great friend Bad Bob amongst the crowd and we wandered together taking pictures and greeting people along the way for a while before heading in to lay claim to one of those cold 50’s so graciously provided for me by our hosts. The parking lot was soon full to overflowing with a ton of fantastic looking bikes and I was informed that they had set all-time record attendance and for entrants in the Show and Shine. This is a hugely popular event and has been marked as a must attend event on many calendars for years and it is great to see that it is still picking up steam and growing. This is due largely to the fact that The Black Hawks MC are a great group of people who know how to treat people and know how to put up an event. The judging was done and it was time to make my way inside and find a suitable spot from which to get pictures of the many prize and awards recipients. The draw for the 50/50 was made and then tickets were drawn to determine which lucky

attendees would help clean off the pool table that was overflowing with door prizes and the Show and Shine awards were presented. The proceeds of the event were being donated to the local food bank. I made my way out to where Petoonia sat waiting to take me home and Bad Bob and I rode together back towards home. It was another great afternoon spent with some awesome people. Thanks for the hospitality and the 50. See you next year! The winners were; Big Twin Stock – 1st Big Bill 2nd Joe S Big Twin Custom – 1st Frank I 2nd Robert L Off Shore Stock - 1st Mark P 2nd Robert Street Off shore custom - 1st Paul M 2nd John D Antique John D Trike - Bud J Best Paint - Paul M

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 15


Rocky’s Harley-Davidson 2015 Swap Meet I was up early for the drive to London on what was and would remain throughout the entire day, cold, grey and at times rainy day and The Black Bitch 2 was the choice of transportation for the day despite the fact that both Petoonia and Black Bitch 3 (Which now had a fully functioning reverse gear.) were ready for action. I picked up Dangerous Doug on the way and we headed off towards London to check out the Swap meet that was

Despite the weather, the parking lot was full of vendors and anxious buyers who were all busy frantically rummaging through boxes of parts and accessories and goodies or in full haggle mode undeterred by the cold blasts of wind that swept through the large parking lot. Bikers won’t let a little foul weather stand in the way of the chance to score a deal on some hard to find part, accessory or sought after items and vendors are just as anxious to clear out space from their shops and storage areas that these gems occupied. These events are revered because they bring these two groups together. We wandered through checking out stuff and talking to the many people I met along the way. It was a great time despite the shitty weather. I didn’t have much on my list of items to look for other than to research new seating for the Trike as the stock seat can get to be a real pain in the posterior after hours on the road and I’m always on the lookout for a deal on something I didn’t know I needed until I see it. Other than that it is just another great opportunity to socialize while publicizing the event.

being held come Rain, Shine, Sleet, Snow, Shit, Hell or High water and any or all of those things looked to be possible today.

The V Twin Specialists

TombStones Motorcycles

RED SEAL

Inc.

313 Enford Road

Richmond Hill, ON.

647-522-0516 REZOREKT YOUR RIDE fb.com/tombstonesmotorcycles

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 16

Doug was looking for Panhead stuff and there wasn’t much along those lines here today. But with these things you just never know what you’ll find and it is better to check things out and leave without something than to hear later that one of your buddies went there and bought it and you missed out because you didn’t go. I did get a surprize gift from a gentleman that I’d met before but can’t remember his name right now who sells some really great leather goods and was one of the vendors braving the elements here today. When I came up to his table he immediately stated rummaging through a box full of items and extracted an oval hand tooled leather badge meant to go on a belt buckle that had “Critter” tooled into a familiar looking emblem and handed it to me. I was thrilled with it and when I tried to pay he refused, saying that he just wanted to give me something. What a fantastic gesture! Thank you once again! It has now been affixed to my leather Blackberry case where it fits perfectly and is a constant reminder that there are some truly kind and generous people out there who read The Riders Mag. With that we headed back towards home and were really glad we went and thankful for such events and the people like Rocky’s H-D who take the time and effort to host them.


Critter’s Crew Cards

Accepted Here


Fighting for Your Rights Man . . . the beehive is buzzin’, Eh Ollie? Are you aware that the OCC has launched an F/B page? ‘The Ontario Biker Black List’ went live back in July which, (at the time of writing this column) boasts 1058 members. The page was developed due to an ever alarming rate of businesses posting a ‘No Colours or Support Clothing Allowed’ dress code policy. Many businesses have been pressured, by an overzealous police force that is both paranoid and outta control, to post these signs. The usual subtle threats – police will not respond to an event because you allow a criminal element in your establishment or, you could face a possible license revue by the LCBO for allowing a criminal element to frequent the establishment - are insinuated by LE in order to pressure retailers into compliance. Unfortunately, that, and the recent tragedy of events in Waco, has not served to endear our lifestyle to the masses. The page operates under very simple rules – members are encouraged to report any business which is not friendly to our lifestyle – our moderator, Dorinda Cummings L&LMC, then generates a ‘Without Prejudice’ letter to the business requesting clarity on their dress code policies – the business has a 30-day response window to comply – if there is a zero response then the business is listed on the ‘Black List’. Businesses that respond favorable or are promoted by members as ‘Biker Friendly’ are alternately listed on our “White List’. Check it out and join with us in our cause to establish a non-discriminatory biker environment in Ontario. September was also a very busy month for the Rooster. Along with my usual commitments as a writer and photographic artist, I (along with the rest of the OCC executive) was invited to attend the inaugural meeting of the newly formed Atlantic Confederation of Clubs in Moncton N.B. The opportunity was like manna from heaven to a lifelong bikers-rights advocate such as me. At first it appeared that I would be rollin’ the asphalt alone - until my brother

with Rooster

(and former wingman) Storm, President of Amigos Acores, informed me of his need to expand his mileage. And so we roared away into another adventure. The ACC meeting was very well attended with over 80 participants in attendance which included 20 clubs and many independent riders. The RCMP had fielded a heavy presence with officers at every entrance to the community center. There was also a two officer contingent busily conducting video surveillance from the perimeter edges of the parking lot. The establishment dogs stopped anyone (both cars and motorcycles) and recorded the vehicle driver’s paperwork. It mattered not as we enjoyed a very productive meeting and the annoyance was gone by the time we dispersed. We really enjoyed our time with our East Coast Brothers and we are very excited to welcome another Canadian Confederation of Clubs. Special thanx to Bacchus M.C. for being a gracious host and providing hospitality and sustenance to heal our weary souls. You Be Aces! Also, thanx to everybody concerned for allowing us to be part of this groundbreakin’ event. On a sad note, my longtime Bro and former SAA, Hammer (Bacchus M.C. Hamilton) experienced some misfortune on his trip home and dumped his machine on the 401 near Cornwall Ontario. He is expected to mend but is going to require a lot of down time necessary to the healing process. The bike was totaled but god must want him on the planet sooooooo, heal well my friend - the world needs every one of its Infidels. Footnote: the two orange Angry Birds performed flawlessly over 2850 klm’s for me and over 3100 for my wingman Storm. Six banger under a one-ten mill . . . Engineered poetry to melt the miles, Eh Ollie? This month’s feature club is NBS Riders. The club was founded in 2011 and is building slowly. Located in Port Colborne, NBS holds its meetings at the Port Colborne Legion Branch 56. Typically, the club enjoys riding in the north shore regions of Lake Erie but also enjoys frequent sojourns to attend other biker events. NBS Riders is proud to ride in support of many charities and also holds an annual charity run on the 3rd Saturday in May. The ride is hosted in memory of one of their Charter Member’s who passed away Specialized coverage for Motorcycle two years ago. The ride called the Peewee MerService, Repair, Inventory and Customization. ritt Memorial Ride which raised $2,000.00 in 2014 and $3,000.00 this year. The proceeds are donated to the local Salvation Army to enable a Give me a call. couple of needy families to enjoy a memorable Christmas. Interested in NBS Riders? Contact the Chairman, Loui Legault via louis.legault24@ gmail.com 905-451-4205 ext 27 Being an activist is like sex without satisfacwiesnerinsurance.com tion . . . You give all this passion but the climax

Is Your Shop Properly Insured? Are Both You and Your Customers Protected? Ask Us About Our Exclusive Motorcycle Dealer Program

Sean Wiesner

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 18


is either non-existent or (pardon the pun) is a long time coming. Yes, there are battles won along the way but mostly it is a very time consuming process in order to elicit change. Fortunately, there are signs that we are finally making inroads in our search for a non-discriminatory environment for all citizens of the biker lifestyle. Most of this movement has been instigated or accomplished by the Confederation of Clubs. Currently there are 64 CoC’s in the USA and two in Canada. Inside the CoC, there is a body of Freedom Fighters aptly named the U.S. Defenders, who travel across America pressuring state legislators to pass anti-profiling legislation which has been drafted by the USD with assistance from the lawyers inside the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM). Their efforts have resulted in many states enacting antiprofiling bills, which have stopped the practice of roadside jack-ups in those states. The effort of these Freedom Fighters has not gone unnoticed and finally mainstream media is now reporting a more honest and fair description of the clubber/biker lifestyle. Check out Life with Lisa Ling online at http://www. cnn.com for a positive report featuring the Mongols M.C. You should also check out an honest article on biker/clubber life by visiting http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/06/opinions/ dulaney-lisa-ling-motorcycle-clubs/index.html for another great CNN biker report by William Dulaney. Are any of you under the illusion that the legal process to determine guilt or innocence is fair or impartial? If you do then prepare to have yur cherry popped! Check out http:// montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/judge-orders-endof-sharqc-trial-because-of-abuses-by-the-crown for a realis-

tic and disgusting example of the presumption of guilt without due process by the dogs of the establishment. Forget about evidence; forget about the Charter of Rights. Those apply to other members of our society. Time to get yur head out of the sand and become part of the solution!!! Larry Lilly aka Rooster OCC Treasurer treasurer@occ4u.org

@roostahrider

Rooster Rider

Route81 Toronto wants to wish all our RAW Family Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year

Congratulations

15 yrs Limited Edition calender at

www.route81.ca "Deathhead" and "Hells Angels" are protected trademarks and cannot be reproduced without consent of HAMC Corporation.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 19


Pacific

Ponderings

by Broken Angel

Greetings and salutations from Beautiful British Columbia. Please allow me to introduce myself, my name is Susie Howey also known as “Broken Angel” and I was born and raised here in BC. I became involved in the Biker culture several years ago, when I owned and operated my own High Performance mechanic shop, and a custom paint and body shop in Surrey and Langley BC. It was through my businesses that I met and have become lifelong friends and accepted as family by the motorcycle community. Not just here in BC but worldwide. I love this life and am so honoured to be given this opportunity to be writing about what and who I love. My writing career started many years ago in my early twenties, when I worked in the film and television Industry ... And carried on later in life writing politically and writing legal documents. I then combined the two and started writing for bikers and fighting for bikers rights. I can always be reached at my email address which is: hollywoodpinkperformances@gmail.com

Under perfect, cloudless blue autumn skies, the 37th annual Vancouver Toy Run, was gearing up to roll, to the absolute delight of thousands of motorcycle enthusiasts, spectators, and organizers alike. Every kind of bike you could imagine were all roaring in from every direction... All converging on the Coquitlam Center parking lots. The ground was shaking, the sound was like

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 20

100 locomotives cutting through the air... The atmosphere was electric! According to Chris Bayless, the managing director of the Lower Mainland Christmas Bureau, this years turn out was the best ever. There were close to 3000 bikes and riders, that brought in more than 2500 toys, and over $20,000 dollars in cash donations on that day. It was truly magical, and for any motorcycle enthusiast it was breathtaking to see so many bikes of every kind you could think of... Big old Goldwing’s, Yamahas, Kawasaki’s, Sport bike, Ninjas, Ducati’s, BMW’s, Hayabusa’s, Vespa’s, Chopper’s, Trikes, Victory’s, Triumphs, Indians, I even saw a couple of old Norton’s... There were dirt bikes, and a CanAm’s...and even a Polaris Slingshot, but nothing will even come close to the synchronized rumble of the thousands of Harley Davidson’s ... You could actually feel it in your bones. And what was even more amazing was the diversity in the people that were participating...Bikers from every walk of life! Every nationality, race, creed, and religion were there...

On bikes... There were entire MC’s, I counted at least thirty clubs, there were Sikh riders, the Oriental ninja guys... The Bikers Against Child Abuse... There were Ladies Clubs... And Veterans, Firefighter riding clubs... Family groups, special



Small Engine Sales and Repair interest groups... Ma and Pa

riders... Children of all ages, there were single riders, there were British Riders... And people that just wanted to participate and gather all in one place, with a common SMALL ENGINES goal in mind, to make sure WATERLOO W ATTERLOO A R OO ONTARIO ONT O NTA TAR O TAR that every child in the lower has something in (519) 885-3860/1(877) 776-3379 mainland their stockings, and under their trees this Christmas. When the bikes started to roll... With The big man, Santa himself, and Mrs. Clause leading the charge on a red Road King it actually took 22 minutes for the bikes to pass a single point. And by the time Santa arrived at the PNE grounds the last of the bikes Want a Great Shine still hadn’t left the Mall parking lot! That Will Last ? The Vancouver Toy Run is one of the biggest runs in Canada...so to organize an Authorized Service, Parts and Repair Centre for: Urban Run of this magnitude Briggs & Stratton Tecumseh Kohler it takes a small army of volunStihl Lawnboy Mtd teers and sponsors to make Toro sure it runs smoothly without a hitch. It takes months to plan, and organize, and it was done perfectly. There were over 200 of Santa’s Elves volunteering, not only on the day of the run... But organizing traffic control, barricades, directing the parking, collecting toys and donations, handing out pins and selling shirts, loading the semis.., counting money, taking photos and the list goes on and on. In truth it takes the entire city to pull this off.... Every light was Amber, so the bikes never had to stop, and every intersection was barricaded and manned. The entire way along the route the streets were lined with spectators, waving, and cheering, and snapping photos... Everyone from young and old alike! I must admit it was a humbling and heartwarming experience to witness and to participate in. After people dropped off their toys and donations everyone was invited to Trev Deeley’s Harley Davidson for a little lunch put on by the Vancouver Fire Fighter MC... (A lovely sight for the ladies... I must say, tattooed, Harley Riding, fire fighter, biker boys...

Liquid Gla

R

R

www.meetz.ca

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 22

Sigh... It was beautiful!!). But I digress... After Trev Deeley’s there was a block party at Louis Leathers in Haney, a nice place to gather, on that hot and sunny Sunday... Many made plans to go for spins and just enjoy the magic of the day. Donations can still be made, either by going online to lmcb. com or by dropping off a toy or a monetary donation at any lower mainland Christmas Bureau. Chris Bayless of the LMCB has asked me to thank: the City of Coquitlam, Coquitlam Center Mall, the City of Port Moody, the City of Burnaby, and the City of Vancouver, the Pacific National Exhibition, the 100’s of Volunteers, and of course all of the bikers that participated to make this day perfect... And to make this Christmas special one, for every child and family. Special thanks to the corporate sponsors, BCCOM,

Trev Deeley’s Harley Davidson, Honda, PNE, and the thousands that make this run the incredible event that it has become today. The winning numbers for the 50/50 draw are: 134932 Contact the Lower Mainland Christmas Bureau for instructions on how to collect your winnings. If bikers from every walk of life... Can come together... For this amazing cause, then there is hope that mankind can come together to create Peace on this Earth. Merry Christmas to all. Broken Angel


THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 23


Joke

A Chinese guy goes into a Jewish-owned establishment to buy black bras, size 38. The Jewish store keeper, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them. The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs. He returns a few days later and this time orders 50. The Jewish owner tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each. The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the store’s remaining stock of 50 and this time for $75.00 each. The Jewish owner is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, “... please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?” The Chinese guy answers: “I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to Jewish men for $200.00 each.” Murder at Costco Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed. A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’ Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000. The Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to ac-

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 24

Page

cept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared: (You’re going to hate me for this...) “ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco” So I was walking through the mall and saw that there was a “Muslim Book Store.” I was wondering what exactly was in a “Muslim book store” so I went on in. I was wandering around taking a look, and the clerk stopped me, asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn’t look like his normal clientele. So I asked for a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims. The clerk said, “F * ck off, get out, and stay out !” I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have that in paper-


back?” BUT IT PAYS TO KNOW GERMAN An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand. The Amish Farmer shouts: “Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Khe und die Schweine haben hineingeschissen!”(Which means: “Don’t drink the water, the cows and pigs have shit in it!”) The man shouts back: “I’m a Muslim, I don’t understand your gibberish. Speak English, Infidel!” The Amish Farmer shouts back in English: “Use two hands, you’ll get more!” A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands. The girl has been watching him and says: “You must be a dentist.” The guy, surprised, says: “Yes .... How did you figure that out?” “Easy..” she replies, “you keep washing your hands.” One thing leads to another and they make love. After it’s over the girl says: “You must be a good dentist.” The guy, now with an inflated ego, says: “Sure - I’m a good dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl replies:.... “Didn’t feel a thing.” Bob goes to his friend Sam and says ...”I’m sleeping with the pastor’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after services for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a friend, he agrees. After the service, he starts talking to the pastor, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the pastor gets annoyed and asks Bob what he’s really up to. Bob, feeling guilty, finally confesses the truth to him... “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.” The pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says... “You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago.” I remember the bologna of my childhood, And the bread that we cut with a knife, When the children helped with the housework, And the men went to work not the wife. The cheese never needed a fridge, And the bread was so crusty and hot, The children were seldom unhappy And the wife was content with her lot. I remember the milk from the bottle, With the yummy cream on the top, Our dinner came hot from the oven, And not from a freezer; or shop. The kids were a lot more contented, They didn’t need money for kicks, Just a game with their friends in the road, And sometimes the Saturday flicks. I remember the shop on the corner, Where cookies for pennies were sold Do you think I’m a bit too nostalgic? Or is it....I’m just getting old?

Brian Greer‘s

Tin &Ceilings WALLS

UNIQUE METAL WORK

519-743-9710 www.tinceiling.com Bathing was done in a wash tub, With plenty of rich foamy suds But the ironing seemed never ending As Mama pressed everyone’s ‘duds’. I remember the slap on my backside, And the taste of soap if I swore Anorexia and diets weren’t heard of And we hadn’t much choice what we wore. Do you think that bruised our ego? Or our initiative was destroyed? We ate what was put on the table And I think life was better enjoyed. Author, Unknown If you can remember those days…continue to enjoy your retirement & GOD BLESS The doctor said, “...The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition that causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.” I was shocked and depressed. I wondered if I had anything to live for. I had no choice but to go under the knife. When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of myself. As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I could make a new beginning and live a new life. I saw a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need... a new suit... “I entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit..’ The elderly tailor eyed me briefly and said, “Let’s see... Size 44 long.” I laughed, “That’s right, Continued on Page 54 how did you know?” “Been in the business 60

MIKES UPHOLSTERY of Hamilton

COMPLETE UPHOLSTERY SERVICE

Cars, Boats, Specializing in Custom Motorcycle Seats mmcphaden20@hotmail.com

289-808-9190

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 25


SHOP/BUILDER OF THE MONTH

I’m absolutely thrilled to do this piece and might as well start it with a testimonial as I can attest to the quality of the products she creates as I have been a customer and can recognize quality and value in products and people, and that is what you get at On the Fringe and with Elaina. I say creates because that it what she does. Her stuff wears like iron and lasts for years and she prides herself in her work and is the reigning Queen of Custom Leather. I’ve known Elaina from On The Fringe for a lot of years, In fact she made my very first quality vest back in the late 70’s or Early 80’s after I tired of constantly replacing the cheapo ones that wouldn’t even last a year. She at that time, had a booth at weekly Sunday Flea Market up in Angus and I was struck by the obvious quality and detail of her work and I bought it from her there, custom made, custom fitted and tough as nails, it looked damn good and I still have it. It took a lot of tough wear and abuse for a lot of years and went back to be patched and re patched and then patched again, trying to keep it going but got to the point where even Elai-

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 26

na couldn’t save it and it has since been retired. I still have it but it hangs on a wall in my shop as it contains so many memories and you can’t just throw something like that away. Each patch, pin, hole, cut, scar and wrinkle hold meaning for me. You could tell that it was an Elaina’s creation from across the room because of the unique and exceptional attention to detail, distinctive style and it is instantly recognizable. Her ability to individualize her creations was incredible and many have tried unsuccessfully to copy her as she is the original. She also made my jackets and chaps at the same time as well as my wife’s riding gear and they are still in service and show no signs of being anywhere near ready for retirement and look like they will probably outlast both of us. Elaina started out in the seventies working with leather and creating clothes and other items for her hippy friends on the streets of Toronto. She worked mostly with deer skin and hand laced everything back then. She attended craft shows and festivals throughout Ontario and met a lot of entertainers and celebrities like Ian and Sylvia and many others along the way and started creating custom clothes and other items for them and word of her talent soon spread and her work was in demand. In the early eighties she opened her first store on the Lakeshore and started doing Motorcycle shows. Elaina’s leather fashion shows were an instant hit and a great attraction for the shows and were soon featured in advertising as being an intricate part of the shows themselves. Her notoriety grew even more. Her custom made and fitted creations set new standards in motorcycle gear. Strong and durable enough to stand the rigors of riding and provide protection for the riders but still look good. She met her husband Dennis at the store and together they rode and worked hard to build not just a business but an entity. The store had soul, class, and character and


The store was very successful and as her reputation for custom motorcycle leathers grew Elaina successfully moved into the area of fashion leathers as well, broadening her scope even more. They were very popular with not just the riders but the local business community as well, as they held annual Show and Shines that were a huge success. For ten consecutive years, motorcycles were lined up two or three deep on both sides

was a place where riders could come in and feel at ease while getting their high quality, leathers custom made. They treated you like a friend more than just a customer. They also gained the trust of their customers, Motorcycle Clubs in particular with whom trust doesn’t come easy and they did Club patches and had all the work that they could handle. This wasn’t just a store they had equipment and machines in the basement where they produced the goods that were sold in the store.

of the Lakeshore for blocks. The streets and sidewalks were packed with people. They had live bands and street vendors and everyone had a blast had all that business was a boon for all the local stores, restaurants, bars and businesses. In 1993 she made the bold decision to expand the business, opening in Port Dover and was instrumental in forming the 1st planning team for the Friday 13th events. At the same time they opened yet another location in Daytona Beach. That

store has relocated a few times before settling in at their current location where they have stayed for the past ten years. Then in 2008 tragedy struck at the Toronto location when a fire broke out in an adjoining building killing the man in that store and then quickly spread to the building that contained her store destroying it and effectively shut down their main manufacturing area. It was devastating to say the least. The decision was made to give the business and whatever was salvageable at the Lakeshore location to her longest standing employee, Teresa while they would concentrate on their other locations focussing on their popular Destination Port Dover and Friday 13th merchandise. Elaina has carried on designing and making the same quality custom halter tops, leather garments and accessories the way she always has. Creating new and exciting t shirt designs and enjoying the lifestyle and all of the wonderful people that she has met along the way who have been loyal to her over the past 37 or so years.rouper and a super lady and not ready to retire just yet. They have a custom patch machine in the store where they can custom design a patch, produce it and then sew it on for you.

2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga, Ontario, L5N 8G6 905-858-0966 • www.jacoxharley.com

Summer Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-7 Sat. 9-4 Sun. 10-3 THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 27



25

24

23

30

18

17

16

Remembrance emembr Day

11

10

9

4

WEDNESDAY

3

TUESDAY

2

MONDAY

NOV.

26

19

12

5

THURSDAY

6

PD RESTORATION

Holiday Open House

27

20

13 Friday The 13th

FRIDAY

28

21

14

7

SATURDAY

29

22

15

Peterborough Motorcycle Swap Meet

1

8

SUNDAY

2015


From THE RIDER’S MAG

MERRY CHRISTMAS


22

29

21

28

30

23

16

15

14

NEW 31 YEARS EVE

24

17

10

9

3

THURSDAY

2

WEDNESDAY

8

1

TUESDAY

7

MONDAY

DEC.

BOXING DAY

27 26 25

13 12

20

6 5

SUNDAY

19

11

4

SATURDAY

18

FRIDAY

2015


My Big Greek Party

by Donny Petersen

have beer. They do, so we settle in for pizza and beer. We quickly drink their supply while waiting for dinner. Wow! There was little or no beer in this town. Ulav from Tromsoe, Norway wants alcohol. He quickly We ride about 100 kilometers inside Greece at dusk finds a beer supplier at 10 at night. We buy 48 and have to a small seaside town to hook up with brothers from them delivered to our hotel bar. Estonia and some of the northern Norweigians. We They are cold when we get back. Our hotel opens the missed our hotel so some Estonians jumped on their bar for us because of the magically appearing beer bikes, chased us down, and brought How do we do this having only being in the this us back. One hotel was not big country for a few hours? enough so we also rented the one I am the only person where beside it. Pictured is the hotel pool English is the first language. overlooking the Mediterranean. The Greeks, Norweigians, and I soon realize that the stories of Estonians speak English so I Greece being broke are true. can understand. Accents and Our hotel has no beer for their pronounciations of difficult words lobby bar. There is some liquor but make for some comical interludes. no coke or other mixes. I do not know why Egil expected We wander the streets for food, Wifi if alcohol and meat was in drink, and frivolity on this hot short supply but he persisted summer night. anyway There are restaurants along the “The Wifi is dead,” says Egil to main street overlooking the water. the bartender. I am looking for draft beer and Egil “Huh?”, says the bartender. does not want to eat “Your wife is dead!” quips fish. He wants meat. He Ulav. says there is enough fish The bartender’s face said it all. back in Norway. He brightened a little to our gales We go into about five of laughter as he quickly called restaurants. I ask for home. Let the games begin. draft and Egil asks for Later, we settle into our rooms. meat. We soon realize We are triple bunking because that I will have to settle there are not enough rooms for us in the two hotels. for bottled beer if they Ulav snores like a train wreck. Egil says my snoring have any and Egil may sounds like a sweet song compared to Ulav. have to eat fish. Local Too bad Egil cannot hear himself. fishermen bring in the I am sleeping with two guys that suffer from sleep catch of the day or apnea. restauranteurs can catch Everyone is happy as we wake to another gorgeous their own. Mediterraneasn day. Egil is getting mad. It is still about 300 kilometers more through the The last restaurant beautiful Grecian mountain landscapes before we advertises Pizza along descend into the port city across from the island of with fish. I ask if they Corfu on the Aegean Sea for the Big Party. We ride through the hot blasting through mountain Mention This Ad sun, tunnels to emerge onto and Receive successive stunning panoramas of pristine nature. Sun showers SAVE TOMORROW cool us. We dry quickly, bathing in the hot sun as we round corners, climb hills only to descend again in perfect harmony. Over 15 Years Experience “We Beat All Competitors Prices” Man and machine merge. Eco Comfort Spray Foam Insulation Specialists Inc. We look down into the steep New homes, Reno’s, Attics, Crawlspaces, green valleys. We overlook Quonset huts and much more unspoiled, quaint villages with NEW Flat and Low Slope 3lb Foam Roofing System Installers white houses framed with red Spray Foam Insulation | Pour Foam Insulation clay tile roofs. I do not realize how high in Local: 905.680.2270 Toll Free: 1.855.680.2270 altitude we are until we crest a Insulating Niagara/GTA/Hamilton and All Surrounding Areas mountain pass at speed to an ecocomfortinsulation.com extraordinary vista wonderfully spread below. The Aegean THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 32 We have ridden thousands of kilometers from Bergen Norway through Denmark, Germany, Czech, Slovakia, Hungary, Serbia, and are now entering the eastern side of Greece from Macedonia.

SPRAY TODAY!

10% OFF


Sea is before us, dotted with islands framed by the mountainous shoreline. Azure, turquoise waters framed against the bright blue, cloudless sky are accented by the lush mountain greens.

When living on a motorcycle, one must become innovative and adapt to the situations at hand. We are riding day after fabulous day from morning til dark. Do n ny ’s wash and dry.

H a n g clothes off back in the rain. Do the same in the sun for drying. T h e fragrances of the countryside air permeate the clothes from Forest Pine to Seaside Fresh. In reality, I wash my clothes in a sink whereever we wind up and hang them from bungee cords on my bike to wind dry as we ride. Egil is the pebble in my shoe. ...or is Donny the gum on his boot? The boys from close to 50 countries are descending on this paradise to engage in all what pleases us. Our universal language is English for how else would we all be able to communicate? Greece....what can I say? It is everything you have ever heard. Our run site is on the edge of town. It is on a peninsula

extending into the sea. We have fine sand beaches on all three s i d e s . S u p p o r t e rs from Albania, Ea s t e r n Europe and a myriad of other countries like Peru man the entrance to our peninsula to ensure privacy for me and mine. Thousands party for three days. We ride back and forth without helmets to town as we feel the need. However, when first entering t o w n , the shiny pavement felt slippery. The Greeks use crushed glass in the concrete/asphalt to help with heat expansion. I make a mental note as do thousands of others to compensate for this as we ride through the streets.

R

All Proceeds to:

up to 50% OFF Regular Priced Purchases

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 33


drops the beast as he and bike slide on the pavement to a merciful slow stop. His faring is damaged along with his pride. Egil must wait for the pavement to dry before carefully righting and moving the bike. When in Greece, do not park your bike on a steep hill. One of the bands on one of the stages. I am in culinary heaven. The 24/7 food tents have Greek cuisine. These are the freshest, best vegetables I have ever eaten. The tomatoes in my many salads ripened to perfection that morning and would begin spoil if not eaten by night. On every salad is a half inch thick, four inch square slab of fresh feta cheese, garnished with local herbs with cold pressed olive oil

We are spread 50 kilometers in every direction, filling every available room. The brave, or those who do not require sleep camp at the run site beside their bikes. Egil is staying on the opposite side of the bay. His hotel is on top of a steep street. He rides up the hill in a late afternoon sun shower. He slows and brakes in front of his hotel. As he stops, he starts to put out his sidestand with both front and rear brakes lightly applied. His big FLHT Bagger starts moving backward down the hill. He grabs his brakes harder, thinking the bike is rolling. It is not! It is sliding on the wet, glass impregnated pavement. The bike begins to speed up as he desperately seeks to balance it dripping over its edges. Egil finally gets enough delicious chicken, beef, and on its backward trajectory. Egil, finally loses control and pork to satisfy his needs and wants and then some. If you like Greek deserts, the rich Injured in a pastries filled tray after tray waiting for the thousands of Motorcycle ravenous partiers. Moscow’s huge blow Accident? up party tent at the Big

I Can Help. Over 30 Years of Winning Cases.

I WORK FOR YOU

Free Consultation No Fees Unless I Recover Money For You

(905) 826-3633 timleighbell@bellnet.ca

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 34


Party...24/7 music in the Russian nightclub on wheels. Their very own, relentlessly, energetic DJ Goch runs the tent. Alik (Alex or Oleg) Goch is the most popular DJ in Russia and very popular in Europe..his stuff is now in USA. Alik is a Moscow Prospect after being president of Russia’s first 1%er club, The Cossacks for 17 years. The pics are taken during setup because everyone knows I do not stay up all night long. Alik is instantly recognizable by his all silver teeth. Our girls have atti tude....what can I say? The party was a huge success as always. I will not try to describe it. Mere words could not do it justice. I was amazed at some of the radical European bikes. Actually, it wasn’t the bikes so much as how hard core the riders are. These bikes are not trucked; they are ridden thousands of kilometers to these world and Euro parties. This bike, like many other radical old school choppers rode thousands of klicks to and from the run. The rigid frame, hand banger, stretched springer front end was ridden by one of the boys from Copenhagen, Denmark, some 6000 klicks. The diehard rider has a steel pan with an engraved (Dope Smokin’, Pill poppin’ Mother Fucking

down from Moscow while Boz ( G r e a t B r i t a i n ’s high tech guru) rode his from London, England to the Big Party. Next issue, I will describe the ride home to Bergen, Norway. The ride back is ti tled “We are Going to Fly so High; One of us is Going to Die.”

Donny Petersen All my 7 tech books are available at Amazon.ca. The last 3 can also be found on Nomad) leather cover for a seat. He obviously felt sorry iTunes. for his old lady, giving her a temporary plusher seat with a sleeping bag on the sissy bar. Notice the GPS mounted between the Z-handlebars on the 20” over springer front end. The rider did make some concessions as the front wheel has a temporary fender for the trip. The fender will stop the rooster tail of water thrown from the front wheel into the riders face as there was heavy rain and hail the length of Denmark and a few hundred klicks into Germany. The front wheel has no front brake. His very necessary tool kit is strapped to the tent, which is strapped to the sleeping bag. What you cannot see is the foot clutch and jockey shift on the 6-speed transmission powered by the big inch Ultima engine. I rode a 1000 klicks more than him but I was on a cushy Road Glide and I stayed in hotel rooms.

There were more hard core bikes like the pictured one. Following are some milder customs. Of course, there were thousands of mild and stock Harley’s also. Victory is also beginning to make an appearance at these events. Among the sprinkling of Victory’s, my bro Ivan rode his

Motorcycle Financing Available! Private Sale or From A Dealership! All Makes and Models Dealerships Welcome Call Guy Direct at (647)693-7547 Email: guy@creditconnect.ca

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 35


Motorcyco Beau

So here I am to talk about many of the great events and rides that I have participated in during the last couple of months while at the same time trying to get my head around the fact that with the exception of maybe a few more freaky days that might allow for one more “last” ride, it’s basically just about over folks at least here in eastern Ontario region. Over the season I try to get to as many Show & Shines as I possibly can but must admit it was an extra special pleasure to head down to Newmarket and participate in The Annual Riders Mag Show & Shine in August because there are so few times that many of us who are part of the Mag family actually have an opportunity to get together. Chucky and I were out on the road at the crack of dawn and on our way down the 401 and before we knew it we were pulling into the business park where our Riders Mag head office is situated. Upon arrival we were greeted by Critter and Al and encouraged to jump in and help get things rolling and while the whole ride down the sky had been overcast, the temperature was well on its way to being over 30 degrees out. The Show& Shine takes place within the enclosed parking area where The Mag and other businesses are located. Depending upon what category you entered your bike in, you were then directed to a specific area to park. Riders who came just to enjoy the show parked out on the street itself and by about noon the road was lined with motorcycles for as far as your eye could see in either direction. Just before the official opening the clouds disappeared and the sun came out almost as if on command and the lot area was filled with riders. There was lots of food, a band playing some great tunes and a number of vendors adding to making it a good time including the folks at Black Gold Knife and Leather Co who were kind enough to open their doors so people wonder in and look around and do a little shopping. Up at the front Chuck directed incoming riders over to see Al at the registration t a b l e . Critter and I wandered around doing our best to capture the moments through our cameras. An added bonus to the day was Perry Montgomery and his wife Geneane, who came up

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 36

tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!

from Cornwall along with Mike Bossio of TCB and his wife Adele and so in no time we created our own little compound on the grass beside the registration tent and did our best to deal with the heat while enjoying ourselves. Also among the people taking part in the show were Ray Bonner & JT Taylor who are the motorcycle division of Pace Law and who The Celtic Brotherhood owe much gratitude for getting the Pace Law Firm on board with both the “Busted Bucket Challenge” which is the interactive event used to give riders some idea of what a head concussion and it’s symptoms might be like and create more awareness of traumatic brain injury and also a new gas griddle to TCB so that the brothers could continue their support of charity rides and events created and sponsored by local area clubs and riding groups by offering to cook a ‘free’ breakfast as a way to thank all the motorcyclists that participate in the events. While it was pretty muggy with the heat it didn’t seem to slow the crowd down one bit and with Scott Wagg helping out in the registration booth and the lovely Patty Cusick going around getting everyone to participate in the 50/50 and by the way the winner donated it all back to the charity which was Alzheimer’s research. It was a great afternoon and once the many awards were handed out to the winners, The Riders Mag Show & Shine was over for another year so when everything packed up and put away Chuck and I decided to head back to Ottawa instead of staying over. A week later on the Labor Day Weekend we headed up the Ottawa Valley to one of my favorite events up near Cobden and took part in the Snake River Rodeo hosted by the Simple Men MC who I consider first class guys because they not only sponsor a number of charity rides and events to make things better in the community where they live, they also do their very best to attend functions put on by other clubs in the eastern Ontario region. In what seems like a pattern throughout the summer the day started out overcast and we stopped off in Cobden to have breakfast and when we finally arrived at the rodeo there were all sorts of trailers and motor homes in the designated areas. While the event is on Saturday the party starts Friday night and continues until sometime Sunday so it’s worth making a weekend out of it.


Once we put up the TCB & Riders Mag info booths up I took a quick walk around to see who was there and early on I had a catch up chat with SMMC members & good friends, Duane Chevalier and Sean Guest who used to work at Freedom Harley in Ottawa before making the decision to move back up the valley to work for Pete’s Sales & Service up in Pembroke. As in previous years members of the SMMC chapter down in the Maritimes decided to come up and take part in the festivities and they certainly live up to the reputation of folks from down east knowing how to party and have fun because they did just that. At first I was afraid the cloudy skies might reduce the number of riders who might come up but by noon more and more Ottawa area riders had arrived to join in and as if on command the c l o u d s disappeared and the sun came out and while welcome it was a scorcher for those of us wearing leather vests or black t-shirts. Throughout the afternoon we were visited by a lot of good friends, many of whom brought chairs over and hung out with us including Kerry Anderson accompanied by Joanne Swartz, Fonzy Ladouceur. Also perhaps being inspired by all the good things we had to say about the SMMC rodeo in Newmarket the week before, Perry and Geneane Montgomery came up for the weekend. By late afternoon we must have had easily 20 people or more sitting around enjoying each other’s company and watching the rodeo events. A number of The Celtic Brotherhood had come up to help out and man the booth including Popeye, Hark, Chuck, Hauler, Bozz and Mr. HD himself, Doug Taylor all of whom gladly handed out copies of the Mag. One of the many bonuses of the day was getting a visit by two ladies who are active in the Brockville area motorcycle community, Kathy Dorion and Melanie Froggatt and standing between those two beauties is like the thorn between two roses and the thorn really liked it! By the time the rodeo events were over it didn’t take long for the SMMC and the ladies who support them to get the food out to feed all those hungry bikers and again I go to lots of events throughout the year and they are all great but the Snake River event is up there with the best when it comes to the food served which is another good reason for all of you who haven’t been there yet to put it on your next year’s calendar. Much thanks to Fonzy and the rest of the boys from Outlaws MC for their participation and support for the rodeo and a special thanks to SMMC members Andrew Farnell for doing an excellent job of advertising not only this event but all the other events his club sponsors and to Dean Batstone, who aside from being a friend is also an accomplished singer/ songwriter who we affectionately call “Skinny White Boy”.

You can look for his CDs at www.deanbatstone. com. I hated to leave that evening when the band just got rocking but had somewhere to be the next day and while I love what Expert Craftsmanship I do it is kind of sad that I Unique Creations always have to pick up and head off somewhere but Trusted Service next year I am bringing up High End Repairs a trailer and spending the whole weekend up the Club Rings valley. Pendants Necklaces Twice a year the Gold or Silver TCB and Riders Mag for eastern Ontario along with Custom Jewelry for the the Denny’s restaurant Motorcycle Community in Ottawa’s South Keys sponsor a motorcycle and and Military Personel hot rod night but this year 13-2651 Alta Vista Drive on the day of the event Ottawa, ON K1V 7T5 the rain was so bad some of us were wondering 613-680-8883 what it would take to nourasjewellery@gmail.com build an ark but instead of NOURAS.CA cancelling the event until next Spring we decided to wait and see in a couple of days how the weather was shaping up for the following Sunday.We got lucky and held the event later that afternoon but earlier in the day I went to show support for a new event put together by old friends and it was quite the enterprise with groups leaving out of Ottawa, Smiths Falls and Kingston with different routes but ending in Smith Falls. The Ottawa group was organized by Al, Jim and Grant the same trio who host the Greely Swap Meet usually held in February and over the last few years

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 37


it has become a major event for motorcyclists in the Ottawa area. The Smith Falls part of this ride was organized by long time friend and brother, Don Flinn and I have to say it is good to hear Donnie is back doing some organizing because people still reminisce about the good old days when the Pike Falls Classic added to the must attend events area riders had to participate in. The Ottawa contingent of riders met in front of the B.A. Machine Performance Cycles compound and there were quite a number of familiar faces some of whom included Scott Towaij from the Capital City Bikers Church who was accompanied by Hillbilly, Yves Brisbois, Bruce Beavan and other members and Scott mentioned that once this ride was over they planned to come to the TCB Fall Classic Motorcycle Meet over at the Denny’s in the South Keys complex to show their support for both TCB and the Mag. I was a bit concerned that many of the riders taking part in this event might not be able to make it back to our event later in the day but we were happy to even have any sort of event after being rained out the previous weekend on such short notice. By afternoon the sun was out and it had warmed up considerably and made the set up for the Denny’s event just that much easier. While the Classic usually includes hot rods and custom cars as well, they had not been advised of the rain date and yet about 8 muscle cars showed up reminding us that bikers have other toys as too. All and all about 80 motorcycles came to

participate and show their support for traumatic brain injury and ptsd awareness and for The Celtic Brotherhood and their Busted Bucket Challenge Project. I always find strength in all the good people that I call friends and never stop telling people that you get out what you put into your motorcycle community and to always make the effort to participate especially in events and rides that are put on by actual groups because they are the same people that will come to your events. Much thanks to all the crew from B.A.C.A (bikers against child abuse) including Taz, Big Bird and Gadget, to Paul Boettger, and to Mark Cooper and Scott Armsworthy, you truly are brothers. I also want to thank Mike “Grinder” Maloney for donning the special eyewear that simulate head concussion symptoms and taking a ride on one of the special ‘chopper’ trikes that were built for the BBC, it meant a lot!

ANYTIME ANYWHERE ANYONE BRAIN INJURY DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 38

There were prizes to hand out but mostly it was a good excuse for riders to get together one more time before the season is over for good and the bikes get put away for the winter. Sadly with the late fall sun packing it in earlier the crowd began to break up around 7:00 pm and most everything was nearly packed up when who should ride in but most of the crew who had promised they would come by as soon as they had finished with the mornings event. Scott, Hillbilly and the CCBC crew came in along with Fonzy Ladouceur and about 14 other bikes came by. While they knew they had missed the event they wanted to be sure we were aware of their support...Now that’s what being a biker is all about! Folks!.. As Always I want to remind all of you that if you have an event or ride or if you are a business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them, you might like to advertise or be a distributor for ‘the Riders mag’ if so, please contact me either my email or telephone Email: theridersmag.beau@gmail.com Twitter: Riders Mag East : http://twitter .com/Motorcyco_Beau. Read The Riders Mag Online: http://theridersmag.com/ online And as always I want to leave you with this reminder for all of you to follow... We Make Our Motorcycle Communities Stronger!..By Making Them Better! Ride Safe! Ride Proud! ..Brotherhood! Motorcycle Beau!


Shenanigans

REFLECTIONS OF A SEASON PAST It was one of my last rides of the season, as I parked down a quiet rural road, on a hill top, overlooking a small valley, lined with trees in all their autumn splendor. Although the thought of having to soon put my baby away for its long winter nap made me very somber, it also made me smile. When I thought of all the events that I covered, solo missions I tackled, by chance gems that I happened upon, people that I’ve met and places yet to go. I tried to take pics along the way, to remind me and keep my friends updated, but sometimes although a picture can say a thousand words, the feelings and memories you have, can be hard to explain. Like the sensory reaction you get when you ride through a pine grove, and you can smell the warm sap, or you look over at your best friend riding beside you after a great trip, and are thankful that he/she will be part of the story that gets told, or the feeling you get when you give a leg squeeze to the gal on the back of the bike, as your shadows chase beside you in the ditch. Everyone has their own moments that are special to them, even the simplest moments can be extraordinary. I’ve never claimed to be a high miler, but I try when I can, and even a short ride is better than not at all. Just because I don’t always have someone else to ride with, doesn’t make me want to go somewhere any less, I just go. I’ve become more fearless in my destination choices, sometimes just pointing on a map, sometimes saying this is where I’m going today(why not), and other times just pointing the bike with the flip of a coin. I’ve met some pretty diverse people on my travels, whether it’s another rider at a Timmies that strikes up a conversation, a riding group pulled over at the same scenic location, clubs at rallies, we’re all out doing the same thing, riding. From Owen Sound to Midland, Parry Sound to Huntsville, Halliburton to Peterborough, I’ve found myself lost more than a few times, which is par for the course for me, but I always find my way back on track, with a few extra miles on the “tach” for good measure. Through working with The Rider’s Mag and from personal experience, I see how riders of all makes and models, young and old, help raise funds for charities, all over the world. Next to corporate donations and employee fundraising, memorial rides, support rides, poker runs and toy drives held by bikers, are some of the largest contributors to charitable and dis-

with Sherri O’Irish

ease research organizations. When one of my friends from London, Spooner, asked me to take a trip, while I was down that way in September, to a fundraiser, it really hit home. The Ride 4 Kristopher event, was being held at the Drumbo/Innerkip turnoff of the 401, at Mr. Steaks Trucker’s Haven, for a special little boy (who is only the second person in the world to be diagnosed with an extremely rare gene mutation, THOC2) and his family. Fortunately, even with bad weather, the tireless efforts of Sam Puglielli and the Brant County Riding Club, as well as many other volunteers, managed to present Kristopher with a $4375 cheque. So, no matter if you’re a solo rider, group or club, or someone who knows someone, whose riding positively affects the lives of themselves or others, take time to reflect on the season past, and seasons in the future, and what it means to you, and may mean to them.

REMEMBER:Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. -Maya Angelou

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 39


Something Wild

This month’s feature guy is Russ and this beautiful pro street chopper is his dream bike which he built with the help of his kids who were at the time, about 8 and 12 years old and they were hands on along with dad doing some of the work as well as being instrumental in choosing the colors and paint scheme for the bike. Russ comes from a riding family saying that his father was a Harley rider as well as an owner of custom cars and hot rods so of course he grew up riding dirt bikes out back and as he got a little older he got to take the old man’s bikes for a ride and he liked it a lot and wanted some of his own. Problem was that he was having trouble finding steady

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 40

employment in his chosen trade as a welder saying that he put 13 years in at Atlas steel and it closed down, then he moved on to John Deere where he worked until they closed down. Russ says that he was frustrated that he could not hold a job as each employer literally closed their doors. He learned through the local government employment office that they were offering retraining for people in his circumstances and he decided to pursue the field that his wife was in working with disabled and handicapped persons. After graduating he got a job in his worthy profession and once he had steady work he began to think about the bike that he had long wanted.


He says he picked up a 100th Anniversary Dyna Wide Glide bike for a very good price back in the late 2000’s when the world economy went into the crapper and lots of loans of all sorts defaulted and bikes cars boats and the like were going cheap. Russ had a friend who ran a bike shop and he did some work on his ride saying that they switched up the front end and handlebars amongst other things. Russ was never truly happy with his factory Harley and always had a desire to build something radical and custom so he says a few years back he was over at his buddies shop and they were just sitting around shootin the shit and got talkin about custom pro street type bikes. Russ said that he had always wanted to build a pro street style bike and drew a few sketches and his buddy Terry said well then why don’t we build you a bike. Russ went home and put his wide glide up for sale once he had sold it recovering most of the money he had invested into the purchase and the upgrades he had his down payment on his new dream machine. He got his children involved and said that he would like it if they came out and helped him and Terry

with some of the work that needed to be done to build dads new bike. He says that when you get in there and do the hard work along with your buddy you quickly realize that what is seen on TV is a heavily edited version of all the hard work that is involved in getting a concept bike from dream to reality and they tend to either turn the cameras off or edit out the all too boring portions where a lot of time and sweat is spent trying to resolve a minor problem. Russ’ kids were young when he did this and of course I had to ask what did they contribute to the process of building the bike and he said they did a lot of sandblasting. Well that begged the question of if it was a new build why would you need to sand blast anything, well they answer was a surprise, he says it was because we powder coated every bolt on the bike so they all needed to be blasted for adhesion. Russ said his kids were all over the paint scheme of the bike saying that it had to be black and it had to have not only flames but also ghost flames although he wasn’t sure that they knew exactly what ghost flames were he did know that they wanted them and he sent the tin off to Dennis for painting and this is what he came up with. The bike was finished in 2013 and Russ started riding it as often as he could with his buddies throughout the pen-

insula area paying special attention to fuel saying that one of the first things they noted with this bike as that the custom handlebars which they fabricated themselves did not lend themselves to all filling stations fuel nozzles. Only certain nozzles were long enough to reach the recessed opening in the tank through the center of the handlebars as he found it impossible to try to come in from the side due to the design of the bars. He ended up toting a small jerry can around with him so if he got stuck and needed some fuel that he could get it into the tank in that way in a bind. Saying that without that he has been known to run out of fuel as his ultima 127’ engine is just a little thirsty and has run out of gas in the past. Russ says this bike is definitely not for touring, he says he loves to ride but 4 hours is about his limit before his back starts to complain to him. He would go to Sturgis or Milwaukee or some such only if he could trailer the bike and ride it once he gets there. Russ does say that if he ever found the right buyer and dollars for this bike his next project would be a custom bagger which he says would definitely be designed as a more comfortable touring style bike while maintaining that ground up custom look that he loves so much. A special shout out to Jen who works with Russ and was nice enough to come over with her husband to model on the bike for our shoot, and if you’re interested in Russ’ bike send me an email here at theridersmag@gmail.com and I will pass your info along to Russ and he can contact you directly.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 41


SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR

www.theridersmag.com

Support T-SHIRTS

$25

S,M,L,XL

$30

LADIES

2XL, 3XL

MAG

READ FREE

RIDE FREE

MAG

SIZES S,M,L,XL 2XL, 3XL FRONT

READ FREE

BACK

FRONT

RIDE FREE

BACK

SUPPORT PINS $5 1” Tall Zinc & Black Enamel All Prices Tax Included Shipping Extra Email editor@theridersmag.com or Call 1-855-873-6680 Ext 2

TOO FUCKIN LAZY TO SHOP FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS ? SEND THEM A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE MAG FOR THE YEAR ! iT’S LIKE GIVING THEM 10 PRESENTS AND IT’S CHEAP ! CANADA: $30.00 CDN, U.S.A.: $35.OO U.S.D. INTERNATIONAL: $75.00 CDN

NAME______________________________________________________

ADRESS____________________________________________________ CITY______________________________PROV____________________

POSTAL CODE______________PAPER AND PLASTIC ACCEPTED

___

___

CARD # ______________________ EXP DATE ___________ CARDHOLDER SIGNATURE __________________________

1111 DAVIS DRIVE, SUITE 501, UNIT 23 NEWMARKET, ON. L3Y 9E5


Bikers

WHY I HATE RELIGION: THE ANTI-RELIGION PASTOR SPEAKS AGAIN

That must sound a little hypocritical. Pastor hates religion? Yet that easily pops out of my mouth when someone at a bike event or anywhere, say things like, “I hate organized religion.” Your job then is to say something like, “Yeah, right! Whaddaya mean by that, Pastor?” Don’t let any of us Christian Riders off the hook if we say something that sounds untrue! As people I meet realize I’m a pastor, I hear things like, “I’m not religious...” “I have no use for organized religion...” “Church is just a bunch of phonies...” and I often hear “Hey, I’m spiritual, just not religious”. I will never poke fun at any of these statements because they tell me that a lot of you have either had or seen negative experiences from institutional church. I know it’s complicated. I understand that from my own church experiences and have suffered some of the same negative stuff! So why do I stick with it? The thing is, what I call true religion now is not what I grew up with and is not what you think of as religion. But how does this go with the title of “Why I hate Religion”? It’s time for all us Christian Bikers to come clean; we know you are very suspicious when we say that we’re not religious. So let’s clear up any misunderstanding. All religions around the world have three things in common: 1. A belief that there’s something out there that’s spiritually bigger than us. 2. Some kind of ritual or shared routines toward that spiritual being. 3. Some set of moral guidelines, ethics, or rules. Usually, it’s #3 that causes most of the trouble and leads to the phoniness or hypocrisy that bothers just about everyone, right? Also, some churches seem out of tune with the modern world, with far too long winded ritual services that don’t have much to our daily lives. If you are honest, you’ll probably agree that these two parts of the definition of religion are what turns you off, right? The main problem comes when you only believe that there is “something out there” but have no response to it or no way of talking to “it”. In this way, if you hold that you are spiritual, just not religious, you are selling yourself short, but you DO have a starti ng point! John 3:36 says, “He who believes in the Son has eternal life.” What this means to me is that my eternal life has already begun! I live with the peace and blessing of God every day. I am a friend of God; you should be too, and maybe you already are! And we can talk to God anytime and any place. John 4:20-25. When someone says they don’t like organized religion, I respond with, “Yes! But where do you stand on the person of Jesus Christ?” Because that’s the bottom line. You have to decide whether or not He can hook you up with God to make your spiritual side come to life. I strongly suggest you check out one of the Bikers’ Churches across Ontario. We have made a clear decision to be welcoming and non-judgemental. Beyond our belief in God and our and our active response to Him, we do have standards and they’re basically limited to 10 Commandment stuff (you can’t really change that). Besides, we’re a fun group to hang out with, and to ride with, too. In closing, I guess we have to admit that we do fit the description of that three part religious group description,

Church just not in that old fashioned way with 637 rules that most people love to hate! That’s what we really mean about hati ng religion because Jesus came to get rid of all those crazy rules that got in the way of having a true and honest relati onship with God. Jesus came to bring us spiritual life! Blessings to you all! Don’t forget to say your prayers. Love mercy, do justi ce, and really walk with your God! Micah 6:8 Pastor Ken hamiltonbikerschurch.com kenang@cogeco.ca

P.S. Thanks to Pastor Dave for his outstanding arti cle in the Sept./Oct. issue and for his spiritual leadership in the Riders Mag for all these years. We will hear from him again soon.

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT EVERY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY 3pm-7pm

THE

GALLEY PUMP TAVERN

365 WENTWORTH STREET NORTH HAMILTON, ONTARIO

905-529-0271

BEST BEEF IN HAMILTON THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 43


Sticker

What a summer! I am likely sounding a bit repetitive but I just cannot believe how much fun this summer has been between new friends and old friends. With one bike being 13 years old and the other being 31, the summer of 1331 had to be good but I was certainly not expecting it to be THIS good! Apparently 1990 was also a helluva year as many of my favorite bashes had 25th Annual celebrations this year including Big Balls, Final Frontier, and Buzz’s Poker Run! 1990 was also the year I bought my first Harley. My adventures were so amazing in August and September that I am going to spread the adventures over the next few issues in chronological order. Hopefully this will help get everyone through the winter with warm memories. August adventures included The Infinite Ride for Vallary. Ryan Galloway with help from family and friends organized this event with proceeds going to Vallary Halladay. Vallary had broken her neck diving into a pool last summer. Vallary is a strong and determined young lady who continues to astonish doctors as she sets her goals high and accomplishes them. The weather was sketchy in the morning as I left in a drizzly fog but the forecast was promising so I braved the three hour tour to the starting line down in Cayuga. The first person I ran into was Dick, who I hadn’t seen in likely 15 or 20 years. Dicks come and go but this Dick is a forever friend. Nothing much had changed, Dick was riding Ray’s old bike which had been Donny’s old bike, and Dick is still riding in those famous red/pink sneakers, possibly the same pair from the 90’s. I met Paul and his wife who were riding with Dick and rode with them for the first few stops until they parted ways to attend other functions. Paul was in a serious accident in late September, cutoff by a four wheeler. He is healing

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 44

Stories

by Sharon

from multiple jaw and shoulder breaks. Last update stated that he was causing trouble again already and able to drink beer from a straw so he is apparently back to his old self and although sore, the future does look bright! The run included some great stops including Clare’s Cycle and an unscheduled stop in the middle of the road while we waited for boats to go through the lift bridge. We rode along some extremely nice roads, and along the Lake Erie shoreline. The last stop was the party spot. The owners of this private piece of property went far and above by building a permanent bandshell as well as allowing us to camp, party, be loud, and do burnouts on their property. There were 6 free bands offering blues, hippie rock, grunge, and old rock, quite a mix. If you didn’t like the band, just wait, there’s another one on the way! Bands included Lickers and BJ’s, so there did seem to be a trend there. The hippie rock band was immediately attracted to my tie dyes booth and next thing you know they were inviting me into their peace pipe circle, thanks again all! Ryan allowed me to set up as a vendor and also let me use his cooler, what a guy! The day/night carried on with old friends, new friends, and of course a night time burnout! The burnout took some time to get going as there wasn’t a lot of pavement handy, but once it started, it could only be stopped by a blowout! Over an hour later, that board was still smokin! Missed partying with Crazee Paynter, seems the peace pipe knocked her out of the game early on! Crazee, in her generous style, donated a much sought after custom painted helmet to the cause! By the time midnight came around the peace pipe was getting the better part


of me also so it was off to never-never land while the last band played. Morning came with more poops and giggles than the night before! After a wonderful breakfast of peameal sandwiches and laughter, it was time to ride home with sore sides from giggling and a foggy head from the partying! The following Saturday was the Kitchener ABATE Poker Run starting in Drumbo, another 3 hour tour to the starting line. When I pulled up in Drumbo, I received a text informing me that my niece from Kitchener was in labor. That was almost perfect because I would be staying in Kitchener that is thanks to the ABATE hospitality so I was super happy and excited! So baby on the way, time to register for the ride and see who was there! Cuzman, Spanky, and a few more from ABATE Clinton/Huron chapter were there as well as

almost all of the Kitchener members so I was surrounded by friends on all sides again, how great is that? I was surprised we didn’t need a passport for this run as we went through Paris, Oakland, and Scotland (even a bit of Lebanon later on). We visited Port Dover where we just happened to meet up with the Ride for Desiree Gallagher. The Ride for Desiree is in support of helping victims of crime and the physically disabled. On May 25, 2013 Desiree was brutally assaulted and fell seven stories from a balcony which left her in a wheelchair, blind, and suffering from short-term memory loss. Desiree passed away in May of 2014. It was great to meet up with these people and learn more about The Ride for Desiree. After Dover we stopped at the reserve for gas and a leg stretch. I was starving and although the pickings looked slim, I went for a donut. Bad idea, it was stale like last summer! Then it was back to happy thoughts of Baby Jack. After checking my phone

again, it was apparent that, Jack was taking his time. Off we went again, ending up back in Kitchener at the ABATE Clubhouse, great spot with a pool table, fireplace, cooler, food, and all the necessities of life! There was a bottle for best hand, a bottle for worst hand, a bottle for a door prize, and even a bottle for everyone with shots passed around a few times. We ate food, drank bottles, had a Cake Cutting Ceremony, Cuzman test drove a trike, and we all waited for Baby Jack. Baby Jack was stubborn and Sunday morning came bright and early, still no Baby Jack! We got up to the crack of Allan and a couple of boobs, morning coffee, poops and giggles, and finally Baby Jack at 11am Sunday morning! Everyone of the members lived a block from the hospital so they let me park on their front lawn worry free while I visited the new baby and my niece. Thank you all for welcoming Happy Jack into the world with me! The following weekend was the 25th Annual Buzz’s Poker Run. This is another one of my favorite bashes from way back when. I rode the couple hours down to the starting line loaded to the hilt and ready for a wild day and night. Some of the run highlights included Diesel the riding dog and a 1940 Indian that was on the run and ridden often. I also ran into Brock and Jay who are always smiling and an entire summer of dancing girls from Jo Jo dancer to the Big Dancing Baby and all those in between. I camped with the Children of the Corn, opened the Tequila, and got ready for the ride! The games are always entertaining and this year was no

Sales, Service, & Parts for Harley-Davidson and Metric Motorcycles

Custom Bike Builders “WE TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR RIDE!” 310 Main St. N. P: 905.471.3021 F: 905.471.7648 Markham ON Toll Free: 1.888.237.bike (2453) L3P 1Z1

authenticltd@rogers.com / www.authenticltd.com

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 45


different. The light drizzle of rain was enough to grease up the grass a bit making things more challenging for some events. The weenie bite got a few full pulls proving that practice makes perfect. The staff tried the weenie bite but missed the mayo soaked hot dog even though they were on a three wheeler! There was a short pause when the rain got a bit heavier, then the games carried on! After the games there was a short pause, then it was time to boogie with the band! Deon from the Royal City Riders entertained us with a night time two beer burnout. Deon actually drank two beers during the burnout! Poor Elmer had glowing red pipes and an 8” slit down the tire. The Paul Sharpe Band played and they have to be one of the most entertaining biker bands around! The bass player spent more time on the dance floor than the stage, the musicians are tight as a drum, and this new female singer is just amazing! I had the pleasure of meeting the Gas Jug Gang, a great group of gals who solved the problem of having to refill your drink often. Some genius among them with the idea of a 5 Gallon Gas Jug filled with Caesars. According to the genius, you can get ice cubes in the jug to keep your beverage cold for long periods AND, get this . . . it comes with an attachable spout for easy drinking! There was one design flaw noted, the jug was only 5 gallons and did not last as long as expected, so next year

it’s a 10 gallon jug – problem solved! Everyone at this party was full of smiles and laughter! Even the 50/50 winner donated ALL the winnings back to the cause. This is and will always be a favorite run of mine

TAVIS’ AUTO SERVICE -REPAIRS TO ALL MAKES AND MODELS -SAFETY INSPECTIONS -AC SERVICE

GIVE KEIJO (CAGE) A CALL

905-898-7847

1200 TWINNEY DR. UNIT 10 NEWMARKET ONTARIO L3Y 9E4

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 46

even if it does rain every year. The rain just keeps the whiners away! The general aroma of “too fawkin fun” can’t be described in words so I hope you look at all the pictures on the website where the fun factor is more apparent. After a wild night at Buzz’s, Sunday morning started cloudy and fuzzy, clearing up a bit, after a few coffees. I packed the bike and started heading home but after riding up the road for a bit I decided to take the ride to Newmarket for Critter’s Bike Show. What better way to get the Buzzy Fuzzies out of my head? I was sweating Tequila and the splash bath at Timmies wasn’t enough to mask the camping/drinking/dancing/ aroma that had become my friend that morning. When I got to the Show I immediately shared my Stinky, Sticky hugs with Al, Critter, Scott, and everyone I could find! It was their idea that I go from Buzz’s to the show, it will be fun they said . . . you can just ride over from there they said . . . I had the pleasure of hanging out with some of my fellow contributors and the boss whether they liked my aroma or not! I had the pleasure of meeting Josh Fairhall from Tombstone Cycle. I have heard many great things about Josh and after chatting with him about my boyfriend, the old 84 Softail, I knew right away that he was someone I could take that crazy upside down and backwards transition year 4 speed kick start evo to without worrying. After taking a walkabout and snapping some pictures of the fine machines in the show, I was preparing to leave. Then Jaye, Sheila, Donna, Tom, and all the tongues showed up so I stayed a bit longer, sharing more Sticky Stinky hugs with them! The husband and I had put on a ton of miles since Saturday morning so we saddled up and rode home. What a busy weekend chocked full of friendly, happy faces. With all the group riding I’ve done this summer I’ve seen some things that scare the hell out of me. On several rides over the season I have seen very close calls that should not have happened. The most common problem was “follow the leader”. I stopped at an intersection where there were blockers because I could see that the cars were not stopping for the blockers. Bikes went around me and straight out in front of the cars – horns blowing, tires squealing, following the other bikes. On the same ride bikes ignored a yield sign. I could hear the horns blowing again and cringed as I could see the car in the middle of the pack of bikes. Do not follow the leader, follow the yield sign! These are all experienced riders but we tend to get in a group ride and think cars will let us through. Not all cars stop for rides or blockers, and they don’t have to. Please, look both ways before crossing the street and ride your own ride! Regardless of how careful we are, there will still be accidents. John Dunham from the Royal City Riders was in a horrific accident a few weeks ago. John has suffered life altering injuries including a crushed pelvis and an amputated leg with his other leg being surgically repaired. If you would like to help John, there is a gofundme account set up in his name or you can give directly to any of the Royal City Riders. There was a Benefit for John last Saturday in Cambridge. I rode down but didn’t stay long. There was a lot of people there already at only 5pm, and many more on their way. 300 advance tickets were sold which only proves that nobody supports bikers like bikers support bikers! I was told that there is another benefit planned in January. I am hoping to stay a bit longer the next time. This could have been any one of us so please help if you can. Until next time, ride safe, ride your own ride, and ride on! Stickerchick’


THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 47


East Coast

Wow, where did the summer go? Or, when did it come! This has to be the worst riding season, I’ve seen in a long time. As I am writing this, coloured leaves are starting to fill our yard (at least my lawn will finally look as good as the better kept lawns in the community). That being said, the first week of Sept. allotted us super weather for my travels. I received rec’d my 800 mags on Aug. 31st, along with the bling to dress up my trailer/show booth for my run to the Wharf Rat Rally in Digby. This meant I had to dress up the trailer plus make my deliveries to the north tip of the province on the Monday and run my ass to the south tip of the province for Tues. as we had to catch the ferry from St. John to Digby at Over 20 yrs of Award Winning Custom Bike Seats Pans~Shaping Engraving~Studs

Motorcycle Accessories, Exotic Leathers

Bring your Bike Seat in for Mods or Gels

Top Pads, Air Horns, Gel Pad Inserts

905-735-7216

www.triplekupholstery.com 7AM Wed morning. With the help of the boss, we managed to accomplish dressing the trailer (not as fancy as Critter’s ride, but if it’s made of wood in N.B. it will end up firewood for winter), North Shore deliveries and 50% of the central deliveries and still make it to St John Tues. evening. I apologize for the late deliveries in central N.B. but they did get done on our way home from the fantastic five fun days in delightful downtown delusional Digby. Having been to 59 Fri. 13th in Dover, I was used to a lot of bikes filling a small town, what I wasn’t used

PLATINGMASTER

Chrome Plating Specialists Platingmaster(1978)Limited

P

Mel Harris Jr. ph.(519) 433-3423 Fax.(519) 433-3595

1,Hamilton Road,London, Ont. N6B-1M9

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 48

Rambler

by Atlantic Jeff

to is 5 days of the event! I did search for Greg, (our Riders Mags accountant & photographer) but the closest I got was a girl (as she took a mag from the Boss) saying that there was a guy with the same “Riders Mag” shirt and big fancy camera like I had around my neck next to her sight at the campground. (Oh yea, the boss went out and bought me a fancy big Nikon camera so I wouldn’t look so funny using her little pink camera any more) Now I feel like a professional photographer like Critter when I go out on events. It was a great time and I will be sending a full report for the next issue. In the mean time, back in N.B. I received an email from Adam, a full patch member of the Darksiders M.C. North Shore in Bathurst (the unnamed club and supporter in the last article) inviting me for a visit to their C.H. in Bathurst, so the boss and I headed up on a run to Bathurst on a bright Sat. in October. We were greeted at their C.H. by Kevin & Stephane (both full patchers) and shot the shit for a couple of hours over a few pints. The C.H. is a very functional spot just outside of the downtown area adorned with a wall full of pictures and memorabilia of their events. I learned that the North Shore chapter is fairly new, only about a year on

their own, but looking around the C.H. seem to really have their shit together. They are the second chapter of the Darksiders organization out of Dartmouth N.S. and although not sporting the 1%er patch, hold the meaning and lifestyle close to their hearts. I am thankful for the invite and know we will be seeing and hearing a lot more of this club in the upcoming years. Watch the mag for their events. After talking to Critter, I heard that the mag has gone coast to coast now with staff out as far as Victoria B.C. We are not fooling around, but have a great mag going and having fun doing it. Just a reminder I could use some help out here in Atlantic Canada. Just give me a call or email and we on work on setting you up! Till next month… Jeff signing off Ride Safe!



Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad

Here we are at the end of yet another great riding season that has seen many changes on so many levels like new friendships being created as well as saying farewell to old ones that are now riding the highway to heaven, to seeing people show their true colors as well as other colors growing in numbers. Overall it was a considerable year if you count the amount of riding and activities covered that this guy has done. People riding their new scoots as well as people rebuilding their old ones, either way it was great to see everyone out there. Although the weather is getting colder and with the arrival of snow, the biker world in Northern Ontario does not hibernate, no we simply move indoors for a few months. Some relax and enjoy the winter activities while other are hard at work in their garages or shops wrenching away on some new mods, some new accessories or even just to give the well-used rides a once over in time to get it ready for next year’s riding season. If you are one of these entity that are in the midst of performing some wicked changes on your ride and would be interested in letting people know about it, let this Northern Guy know about it and we might even put together something for the Mag in regards to your artistic creativity. I love to see what the builders whether pros or amateurs are brewing up. You will find my contact info on the second page of the Mag or simply scan the QR code at the end of my article. Looking forward to socializing one on one with many of you. Freedom Rally: If you’ve ever rode bike in the Sudbury area, you certainly at one time or another encountered a member of the Freedom Riders Riding Club who have been one of the longest running riding groups in the area. For 22 years now, they have been putting on the Freedom Rally held at the Mine Mill Campgrounds to which

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 50

by That Northern Guy

some of you remember a couple of years ago held the OCC (Ontario Confederation of Clubs) unity rally right here in Sudbury. Ken, a member for the past 20 yrs. has been actively involved in coordinating this rally as well as holding various significant positions within the group that sees its profits go to Camp Huronda of Huntsville, Ont. for this year. Other charities that have benefitted from the generosity of the Freedom Riders fundraising would be Send-a-kid to Camp program, the Pediatric Burn/Scar Garment Fund, the Sudbury Toy Run just to mention a few. The donations also vary as much as the Charities do, to include such items as an electric wheelchair, along with special prosthetics batteries as well as paying rent for a child’s parents stay at the Ronald McDonald house. These individual just never quit when it comes time to give. What an awesome bunch!! I should mention also that, aside from the regular membership in Sudbury, they have members at large all over the country and in the USA. During the rally, an appearance from the Girls of Summer, Leah & Alicia, from the local rock music radio station Q92.7FM came out to participate in some of the biker games like the wiener bite and such. The funny part is that they agreed before finding out what exactly it consisted of and that made it all the better! What a great sports they were! Again at this rally, like a few I’ve seen before, there was some massage therapists from Therapeutic Wellbeing, which offered free 10 minute massages. What a great promotional

marketing strategy. Should you encounter some of these Freedom members amongst your travels in the area, be sure to recognize them for the considerable work they do to help kids in need. On behalf of the Rider’s Mag and all the children you help, we thank you! Rocking on the River: It seemed to be the going trend during this year’s Civic long weekend that the number of attendees was low in all parts of the local area but that didn’t deter the hard work of Guy, Elie and Kevin alongside their better halves doing endless hours of work in the background. Although rain may have put a bit of a damper on the sixth annual Rocking on the River there was still a great turnout for their first bike show and shine. Patrons from areas like London, Hamilton, Whitby the North Shore, Sault SteMarie and even from the USA attended this years’ event. The weekend consisted of 12 hours of incredible live bands (10 in total) as well as various food and product vendors. The event had a tattoo and piercing artist set up for those who dared. According to Kevin, one of the bikes was a Victory Motorcycle, signed by Arlen Ness, who is a


well-known bike builder for his custom work. Lots of beautiful rides, over 30 (not bad for a first year’s attendance!) were on hand when we got there and even more were in and out

throughout the day. Kevin also added that the Best in Show award went to an $80,000 Harley Davidson. All the proceeds of this great event were donated to the All Star Children’s Services, which is expected to go towards the facilitator’s playground fund. In the words of the organizers, “People who missed out on this event, really missed out!” First Annual Spirit Island Thunder Run: There’s a great group of guys on Manitoulin Island and area named the “REDRUM Motorcycle Club Spirit Island Chapter” that put on their first annual run on Manitoulin Island in support of the “Good Food Box Program” where one can go and purchase a box of fresh locally grown and donated grocery items to be distributed to a needy family in the community. This is an amazing way to help the people that live close to you and need that special helping hand. The run started out at a very well-known spot in Little Currant, to which by the way has started being a distribution point for the Rider’s Mag, called “The Anchor Inn”. Attendance was expected to be at a minimum (15-20 bikes) as this being the first run put on by these guys as well as being a last minute thing, turned out to have well over 75 bikes and counting. Various stops such as 10-mile point Trading

Post and scenic look-out as well as Mch’geeng Pow Wow to mention a couple and finally end up at The Red Dog Grill in Whitefish Falls for dinner this was one run to remember. This might have been the chapter’s first run but with the support of the community as well as the Six Nation’s Chapter from Southern Ontario, demonstrated here, it will become one of north Ontario’s best runs in no time. President Dereck Assiniwe, VP Godfrey Shawanda, and Treasurer Robert Shawana presented a cheque to Good Food Box in the amount of $1500.00. Great Job guys! Looking forward to next year’s run! At this time, since this is the last edition of the Mag for 2015, I would like to send a sizable Thank You to all those readers out there that have supported me with positive feedback on this first year of my creative writing with the Mag. I would also show my appreciation to the people that make all this possible such as Critter, JR, Al and the rest of the crew at the Rider’s Mag headquarters as if it wasn’t for your hard work and determination, none of this great publication would be happening. Looking forward to seeing lots of you at the bike show in January 2016. A few words to live by for this month would be: “Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, love honestly, laugh easy, keep it simple, ride often, ride FREE and never regret anything that makes you smile!” I guess this is as better time as any to wish everyone out there a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! See you all next year!

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 51


One for the road …..with Lil Red

So, as I’m writing this, I’m hearing that there might be SNOW this weekend. Honestly, Mother Nature and I are gonna have some words and there’s gonna be an ass-kickin. One day, it’s 8 degrees, the night is like a freeze your ass off 2 degrees, and a day or two later, it’s 22 degrees! Really Mother Nature? I mean, I know women are temperamental but COME ON!! Not that I’m complaining, I’ve ridden when there was still layers of snow on the ground. And it’s not a bad ride when you have a heated vest. It’d just be nice to know what to expect when you step outside, cause I’m what’s called a weather-wuss. I layer. My son asked why a weatherman can’t just make it easier for you. All they need to say is, “It’s f’ing cold out, get a coat!” Hey, I’d listen to that advice. Now although I started writing for The Mag later in the riding season, it’s been an eye-opening experience. I’ve met a lot of people, clubs and charities that I hope I haven’t offended (or bored for that matter), and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down any. We’ve found regular rider drop-ins where there’s a large group of people, young and old, lining the parking lots with various models and makes of bikes. And I’m one to approach you in most settings, and most seem to recognize the Mag when I mention the affiliation, but believe it or not, a few don’t have a clue, so it’s nice to be able to be the introduction for them. Plus, I’m getting people asking me for a copy of the Mag on a more regular basis, so I now keep stock of The Riders Mag in Mike’s bike. (My saddlebags suck…but that’s another story)

We did take the opportunity to attend the Annual Show ‘n Shine at Black Gold in Newmarket. This was a far bigger event than I had expected when we first pulled up. I mean there were bikes everywhere. There were also bikini tops! I find when you follow the boobs, you find the larger pool of men with their rides, so it was easy to find the entrance. Making our way to the entrance, we were greeted by the Chief, Critter himself. Exchanging a few pleasantries and collecting some fantastic swag, we wondered through the court area, grabbed a brewski and made our way into the Black Gold store. This was a cool store to check out, and after my third trip through it, I bought a long sleeve shirt I was drooling over for the cooler weather. I definitely encourage anyone who rides to take a trip to this store. They have some of the coolest knives and sunglasses for the no-shitz taking rider. Getting sidetracked by all the people, I didn’t get a shirt in support of fighting Alzheimer’s. So because of this faux-pas, I’m gonna buy a few, keep one for myself, and donate the rest to our 705 rides. I know with the Mag support out here, it won‘t be hard. It benefits something that’s close to Critter’s heart, and I’m a big supporter as I have a loved one that is battling it now. (Critter, don’t let me forget!) In the court area was my favourite of all these events,

the show ‘n shine. There were some beautiful bikes there. I mean, customs like I’ve never seen at any of the other show‘n shines before. Mean and loud. Between the bikes and the crowd of people, it was crazy. I’ll leave this story from here, as I’m quite sure the details of this epic event will be covered by the Chief himself, with some add-ons by some of our other feature writers. (By the way, I missed meeting Al! Does this man even exist, or is he some alter ego of Critter??) This time of year brings some pretty wild meet ‘n greets. When you stop in at a regular haunt, where you’re expecting the usual 20 or so bikes, you’re smacked in the face with like

50 or more! Riders are out for one of their last remaining nice riding days of the season. Picking up with other riders to go for that good, long nowhere to really go cruise and take in every inch of this great riding weather we have left. And

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 52


recently, I was able to catch up with a few groups of riders that I’ve been trying to catch up with. The Brotherhood of Bikers were there, The Red Knights made an appearance, and The Veterans of Canada Riders showed up as well. I’ve always been a huge supporter of our Canadian Armed Forces, and to be able to ride along with some of these men and women is a true honour. And they LOVE the Mag! So after a bit of a chat and a photo drop with these fine men and women, I headed through the sea of bikes to catch

Harley BSA Norton Triumph

12 Carrying Place Road, Trenton, Ont. K8V 3E7

(613) 392-8433 www.makeitroar.com

up with other recently acquired friends of ours. We caught up with Derek Andrew, a guy we met previously who co-organizes the Quinte Ride for Paws every year in Trenton, (and someone also known by our very own Motorcyco Beau). We’re always up for rides that involve our furry friends, but I will admit, there was an ulterior motive for this catch- up as well. We were letting riders know about the upcoming Toy Ride for kids. After all, Christmas is for Kids. And with this ride, you get to ride with Santa cause he rides a motorcycle too and I’ve got pics to prove it!! YES!!! I said it!! Christmas. Before you take me behind the barn and shoot me, check your calendar. As I’m writing this little piece in mid-October, we have about 11 Fridays till ho-ho, and I’m looking at a sweet, lowered cherry ‘n white Harley with a mean set of pipes. You know…………… for MY Christmas present.

As I was saying before my ADD took over…this weather. One thing I love about it is the rides. I’ve got to admit, one of my favourite rides was on Thanksgiving. With the crisp weather, changing of the leaves and the growl of the bikes, it was almost therapeutic. Thanksgiving Day could not have been a better day to ride, and with all the riders we ran into, seems everyone felt the same. With no plans for the day, we ventured out towards Peterborough. There’s a great little breakfast joint out that way on Hwy 7 called PJ’s. Nice little old diner feel with a great breakfast, and in the warmer months, there’s usually other bikers around to meet up with. This day was no exception. As we pull in and parked, a fellow rider pulls in alongside with some baggage. He just came back from Ottawa, just stopping though. And although he couldn’t stay and trade stories, it’s this ease of having no reservations to start up a conversation with other riders, anywhere, anytime, that only adds to my love of riding. Being new at this writing thing, I’m hoping to prove that I can ‘write’ with the big dogs, and cover more ground next riding season. Seeing as I’m living in the 705 and covering some of the same 613 areas and events as Beau, I’m sure I’ll be bumping into him for a little meet ‘n greet. I’ve taken Beau’s recent advice and been in to see Harold Gagnon at Make it Roar in Trenton. I needed some ideas on airbrush work for tank. He’s the man to know. So as I’m preparing to cat-scratch wit Mother Nature, bring on the snow! From what I hear, The Mag is just as busy during the white flaky stuff season anyway, so let’s get out and party. And Mike, let’s get the snowmobiles running…………

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 53


years!” the tailor said. I tried on the suit; it fit perfectly. As I admired myself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?” I thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.” The salesman eyed me and said, “Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.” I was surprised. “That’s right! How did you know?” “Been in the business 60 years.” I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. I walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?” I thought for a moment and said, “Sure.” The salesman said, “Let’s see..size 36.” I laughed, “Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.” The salesman shook his head, “You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.” A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. “Is everything okay, pal?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!” Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says; “Well, maybe that’s a good thing, you know....a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day!” Bless me father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl. The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano?’ ‘Yes, Father, it is.’ ‘And who was the girl you were with?’ ‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.’ ‘Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?’ ‘I cannot say.’ ‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’ ‘I’ll never tell.’ ‘Was it Nina Capelli?’ ‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’ ‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’ ‘My lips are sealed.’ ‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?’ ‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’ The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and

behave yourself.’ Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’ ‘Four month’s vacation and five good leads.’ Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia. As they were approaching Shubenacadde (shoe-been-ackid-dee), they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... ver-r-ry sloo-owly?” The waitress leaned over the counter and says, “Tiiimmmmm Hoorrrrttooonnns” Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women , blacks/whites, etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims? Time to level the playing field and be politically correct by including the Muslims! Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims: 1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, You may be a Muslim. 2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes, You may be a Muslim. 3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim. 4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim. 5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim. 6. If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim. 7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim. 8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim. 9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.

“You know you’re a redneck when...... 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think “The Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it. Financing Avaliable 8. You have the local taxidermist on Family Owned & Operated speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump Since 1958 with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. Wheatley, 519-825-4222 12. Your grandmother has “ammo” on

Over 100 used

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 54




Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.