Syracuse University, SUNY-ESF The Independent LGBTQA Magazine Spring 2016 / Issue #16
loving the dying girl by Kate Fletcher she is more than it all, —soft noises and loud laughs; bad jokes and even worse therapy sessions— existing beyond what we can see, and beyond what we can’t see too: past the hazy gray edge of the world, over the brick wall, and back home again. she exists aimlessly but still breathes important breaths, inhaling the wind from the crest of the hill and exhaling soft trails of smoke from her steam engine mouth. she carries her cereal-box-prize heart in a clenched fist like a young child, only loosening her grasp to reach for your hand. and how quickly she reaches, how quickly she moves in and sandpapers your ragged heart smooths your uneven edges with the patience and skill of the rolling tide. she is more than it all, —the hazy gray edge and steam engine mouths; prized hearts and wearing you down— simply existing.
outcrowd.su@gmail.com
editorial Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Production Manager Features Editor Arts & Entertainment Editor Sex & Health Editor Social Politics Editor Narrative Editor Social Media Editor
Farrell Greenwald Brenner Soleil Young Jesica Norman Natsumi Ajisaka Various Editors Renata Husted Catherine Caruso Olivia Morris Emily Pagano
creative Design Director Art Director Photography Director Contributing Writers
Olivia Monko Alice Blank Erin Carter Vell Cummings, Hasmik Djoulakian, Stacy Fernandez, Kate Fletcher, Grae Gleason, Tess Hanna, Lauren Hannah, Shannon Joseph, Delaney Kuric, Sarah Martinez, Hannah Mesches, Caitlin McDonough, Amy Quichiz, Deniz Sahinturk, Nedda Sarshar, Elly Wong
Contributing Designers
Natalie Delgado, Connie Flores, Anna Moon
Contributing Artists/ Photographers
Kai Breaux, Taylor Hicks, Taylyn Harmon, Lara Hirsch, Olivia Monko, Delaney Kuric, Kelly O’Neill, Madeleine Slade, Ben Tomimatsu, Autumn Wilson, Genevieve Pilch
Copy Editor
Rachel Sandler
special thanks Harriet Brown & MAG 408 Melanie Stopyra Ansun Graphics
1
OutCrowd Spring 2016
Letter from the Editor O
n one of the first nice days of spring, I burst
out of a windowless classroom to sit on a blanket on the dewy quad grass with my partner. Though I had intended to read for class, I found myself people-watching instead. Everyone was out and about, desperately trying to soak up the Vitamin D before the next inevitable snowstorm. The campus shrunk as students, staff, and faculty swarmed to the vivacious green kernel of the university. Through the crowd, I
transgender community can relate to. We develop gaydars
spotted two hand holding, plaid-clad bodies walk-
and found Gay-Straight Alliances, we attend discussion
ing our way—both were feminine-presenting, and
groups and sneak out to bars. Sometimes, isolation is with-
I thought to myself, could it be? More queers? I didn’t
in oneself—a denial of identity, a fear of our own desires.
mean to stare, and I made eye contact with one, who
In this issue, we’re tackling isolation. We feature
had wickedly sharp eyeliner. But they stared back, at
community-based support on campus (pages 48-51), and
the two feminine-presenting, hand-holding, queer
resources for healthcare in Syracuse (pages 18-19). We
women on the ground. The eye contact was prolonged
have hard discussions on being isolated within marginal-
and awkward, and neither of us could look away. It
ized communities, such as when it comes to queer Jewish
was a Sense8 moment. Or maybe an X-Files moment
solidarity with Palestine (pages 14-17) or in the instance of
(in this scenario, I’m Dana Scully, of course).
misogyny in queer spaces (pages 10-11). We also take time
I resisted the urge to stand up, introduce myself, and ask their opinions on Orange is the New Black and oh my gosh have you seen Carol? After all, I didn’t
to reflect on moments of defying isolation and silence at work (pages 44-46) and in our families (pages 32-33). Our goal is to represent queer and trans voices not
know these people, and I could have drastically mis-
just for the sake of diversity, but to conceive of a world
read their gender and sexual expressions. They passed
where we are celebrated and loved without secrecy or
by, both my head and my staring contest opponent’s
shame. To quote Dr. Cornel West, “Justice is what love
head turning ever so slightly. Maybe we’ll have a
looks like in public.” If this issue of The OutCrowd sparks a
chance to meet again one day, on another beautiful
conversation, whether an internal one or one between two
springy morning.
or more people, I think we’ve done our job.
This frantic craving to resist isolation, to connect with others who also know the meaning of isolation, is something that many of us in the queer and
2
Farrell Greenwald Brenner
Table of Contents narrative 4 12 32 44
Pete Outside In There’s No Place Like Home School’s Out
sex & health 6 18 46
Public Health Clapback Vitamin Q Access and Transgress
features 14 State of Ambivalence 36 The Pink Triangle 48 Let’s Discuss
social politics 10 22 30
What The Femme? Another Kind of Border Whose Lives?
arts & entertainment 8 20 52
Superqueeros Girl on Girl Not All Bi Myself
comics 56
In the Wild
poetry 2 34
Loving the Dying Girl Untitled
photo 26 40
Hammerstone Queer Bedrooms
out 57
Jasmyn Chacko
3
OutCrowd Spring 2016
PETE W by Olivia Morris
illustrated by Ben Tomimatsu
W hen I was fifteen I had an imag-
inary friend. Emphasis on imaginary,
specifically as opposed to invisible. Invisible implies tangibility, or at least some amount of realness. Pete was imaginary, not invisible. He was not real. I always emphasized this when I met with Sal, my therapist, who was largely responsible for Pete’s (non) existence. “He’s not real,” I’d say. “I’m not crazy.” “I know,” she’d say. “Tenth grade is really old to have an imaginary friend,” I’d say. Then, because my mom wasn’t there, I’d add, “It’s fuckin’ stupid, that’s what it is.” 4
Pete never took this kind of
thing to heart, probably because he didn’t have a lot of reason to be prideful. He was a bluetongued skink named after a childhood misunderstanding of Pete’s Dragon (like the Frankenstein rule in reverse: Pete is the man, not the monster). He was only around because Sal had suggested I invent an imaginary companion to organize my thoughts. Make a “constructive mental dialogue,” as she called it. “He’s supposed to help you sort through things,” she said. “If you flesh out your internal dialogue, your mind feels less like an echo chamber.” I guess she was sort of right. Sometimes talking to Pete helped me
Narrative remember all the things I was trying to forget, like the fact that I had spent most of
What I couldn’t take was this guy
ninth grade in an institution because I was Micah cornering me in the back parking always drunk and trying to kill myself, that lot Friday morning and walloping me in I had gotten mostly sober while there, or
the stomach. I crumpled to the ground
that I had fallen in love with another girl.
and, unhelpfully, imagined Pete on the pavement next to me.
“Bet your mom loved that,” Pete scoffed. “Loony lesbo,” Micah sneered. He kicked “Yeah, she didn’t,” I said. “Turns out she’d
me in the knee, which was kind of a
rather have her daughter crazy than a
weird place to kick someone already on
dyke.”
the ground.
...And so on. Talking to Pete like that
“Drunk loony lesbo. You ain’t no girl.”
made my head a little less frantic and my heart a little less lonely. I had to admit, Sal
I felt a sort of warmth beside me, and
had some good ideas. I told her this once
then I heard Micah scream and take off
when I was feeling generous.
across the parking lot. Still clutching my
“I’m glad he’s helping,” she said, smiling. “I
stomach, I looked up.
think you’ll find him even more useful as time goes on.”
Crouched over two empty parking
I thought she was a little too optimistic. spaces was a dragon — wings and all. We I’d been okay over that summer break — I looked at each other. The dragon flicked was alive and clean, at least — but school
its brightblue tongue.
was about to start, which meant things were only going to get worse.
“Pete?” I said.
At first I thought that maybe Sal had been right, because that first week back
“What are you, fuckin’ stupid?” it replied,
wasn’t terrible. People called me Loony,
grinning. And it ambled off across the lot,
which I thought was stupendously unin-
its great claws churning up asphalt.
spired. At lunch it was just me and Pete the notdragon, contemplating the shitty peanut butter sandwich my mom had packed me even though she knew I hate peanut butter (Maybe ham is too gay for her, Pete suggested). I could take all that. 5
OutCrowd Spring 2016
Public Health Clapback! This CDC infographic has no chill, but we do. by Caitlin McDonaugh designed by Natalie Delgado
T
he Center for Disease Control
have vaginae, uteruses, and ovaries (and
(CDC) recently published an infographic
thus might be able to become pregnant) but
aimed at reducing the incidences of fetal
do not identify as women fall off the map
alcohol spectrum disorders. The intention, to
completely.
bring awareness about the impacts of drinking during pregnancy and healthy drinking
However, this infographic can be revised so
practices, was important. And it is nice to see
that it educates on alcohol consumption and
a government agency advocating for the use of
pregnancy without victim blaming. It could
birth control.
even become a document that appreciates the wide array of gender expressions and
Unfortunately, the delivery of this message is
sexualities associated with women, acknowl-
condescending, sexist, and generally demean-
edges that pregnancy often arises from the
ing and offensive to all women and gender
decisions and behavior of more than one
minorities.
person, and recognizes that men can get pregnant too. It could become an infographic
6
For women in the LGBTQ community, this
that empowers a wide range of sexualities, as
infographic is a disappointing reminder that
long as the sex is consensual. Extra precau-
the USA government habitually ignores the
tion can be advocated when sex could lead
health, safety, and interests of women that ar-
to pregnancy, but sex includes a diverse array
en’t cis, heterosexual, able‐bodied, and having
of activities, many of which will not result in
penis‐in‐vagina sex. What’s more, people who
pregnancy.
Sex and Health
7
OutCrowd Spring 2016
u q e e r r e o p s u S by Elly Wong
e Th re
illustration by Lara Hirsch
cs i a re com new l e arv and pow erful trends in M
A chieving the right to marriage
marriage equality passed in New York, Mar-
equality came with a punchintheair kind of
vel tasked Astonishing X-Men writer Marjorie
feeling. For all the problems with marriage
Liu with also making Northstar their first gay
equality being coopted by respectability pol-
character to get married. The first gay Marvel
itics, there is still a certain expectation of a
hero to get married being an X-Man is only
future, of permanency, implied in the ability
fitting. Since their creation by Stan Lee and
to get married.
Jack Kirby in 1963, all kinds of outcasts have
found themselves in the X-Men, and their The wave of legalization in states several
counterpart team, the Brotherhood of Evil
years ago, ultimately leading up to Obergefell
Mutants. Differences in DNA cause mu-
v. Hodges in 2015, carried distinct triumph.
tants to manifest a diverse array of strange
What better to celebrate than those endless-
powers and appearances; human society
ly bright bearers of victory, superheroes?
responds with ostracism, attempts at “cure,” and violence. The parallel to race, sexuality
Enter Jean-Paul Beaubier, aka Northstar: a
and gender, disability, and other marginal-
flying, speedster, energyblasting member
ized identities is obvious. In the 2003 movie
of The X-Men, who in 1992 was the first
X-Men 2, Iceman’s parents even respond
Marvel character to come out. When in 012,
with the classic “Have you tried...not being a
8
Arts and Entertainment mutant?”
a resurgence of an older, whiter male type of view the Man of Steel, Captain America, Wol-
Dr. Diane Wiener, director of the Disabili-
verine narrativethat’s very different from
ty Cultural Center at Syracuse University,
gutsy heroes like Deadpool. He’s pansexual,
longtime participant in various liberationist
has mental illnesses, a serious medical prob-
movements, and professor of the course HNR lem and a physical disability before mutation 360: “(Dis)abling Comic Books” believes that
and he still refuses to be a good boy.” Queer
Northstar undermines stereotypes about su-
and trans people must still demand more
perheroes, furthers representation, and makes both more of the representation we’re alit possible for people to imagine a broader
ready getting and more nuanced and critical
array of experiences. “This kind of represen-
depictions that have not yet made it to the
tation validates their wish to see people like
mainstream. “It’s dangerous to think that this
them in comics,” they say.
is the end of it,” says Wiener.
“The X-Men were always about highlighting deviance as a political identity,” Wiener states. They point out a print of promutant graffiti on their wall, one of many comics paraphernalia in their office. “They have an array of responses to their mutations, but are strongly allied to each other and have a commitment to being
“It’s really about giving everyone the same rights: power and the right to live well while acknowledging we are different.”
outliers...Magneto might disagree, but the X-Men are working within the system while critiquing the system. They’re not neoliberal.” Wiener can speak at length about how these fictional mutants defy assimilation and refuse to make themselves palatable in their work. “It’s really about giving everyone the same rights: power and the right to live well while acknowledging we are different. They send a strong message for youthand for everyone.” Potential abounds in the movie and streaming adaptations that are so popular right now. Wiener sees more female and disability representation, as well as critical discussion of what heroes and villains have in common, but they also feel a countercurrent. “Right now, there’s
It’s hard not to find joy in what we do have, though. LGBTQ characters are now appearing in many Marvel works. Iceman, also of the X-Men, has been revealed to be gay. Netflix’s recent series Jessica Jones featured the first lesbian characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Loki, in Agent of Asgard and Original Sin, has been written to be explicitly bisexual and genderfluid. The vibrant second volume of Young Avengers features an entire team of heroes where no one is straight. With an encouraging number of queer characters (who are increasingly also other marginalized identities) superheroing around the universe, a second queer Marvel marriage can’t be far away.
9
OutCrowd Spring 2016
What The Femme? Feminine members of the queer community face stereotyping and disbelief by Grae Gleason photo by Genevieve Pilch
P
ut on some makeup, style your hair, and get ready for people to start questioning your queer identity. Stereotypes about what queer people look like don’t only come from cisgender heteronormative society. These ideas also influence queer and trans spaces and can lead to the erasure and disparagement of queer femme people. As Dr. Robin L. Riley, Syracuse University’s director of LGBT Studies, explains, stereotypes “For people who are high femme presenting, if you play a key role in how queer femmes are treated. want to be seen as a queer person, you have to work extra hard, both within heterosexual communities and within queer communities,” Riley said. In trying to establish their queer identity, femme people of all genders often face intense scrutiny. As Riley describes, queer stereotypes such as the plaid shirt and jeans can make it difficult for people to recognize feminine people as queer. This questioning and disbelief not only comes from straight cisgender people, but also from queer communities. Riley recalls her forays into gay bars, describing the suspicion she faced as a femme person in that environment. In response to this questioning, many queer femmes take extra steps to establish their queer identity. Charlie Babs, a femme pansexual woman, explains the actions she takes to conform to a more stereotypical queer look.
10
“I tend to take those things I enjoy and make them harsher. A pretty dress, but with a choker, makeup
Social Politics with winged eyeliner, 90’s punk style to my hair. I honestly enjoy those things, but I feel as though I won’t be recognized for who I am without them,” Babs said. There are many ways that femme people may try to prove their queer identity. Some people, like Babs, negotiate their appearance in order to better fit within stereotypes. However, other femmes may only see their queer identity respected and acknowledged when they “prove” their queerness with a longterm queer relationship. “It wasn’t really until I had a longtime woman partner that I stopped having to struggle around [proving my queer identity]. Prior to that, every time I went in a gay bar I would get hassled about it,” Riley said.
feminine you’re somehow less queer,” Horne said. This stereotyping, distrust, and disbelief creates real consequences for femme queer people. According to the National Dropout Prevention Center/Network, “80% of gay and lesbian youth” experience “severe social isolation,” and this isolation can be magnified for queer femmes. Excluded from mainstream, heteronormative spaces for their queerness and excluded from queer and trans spaces for their feminine appearance, femmes are left without a community space. Especially coming from queer spaces that femmes may feel connected to, this rejection hurts.
“femininity can be“seen as a kind of adherence to or buckling under to patriarchy.”” Reasons why people question a femme’s queer identity remain complex. As a group often marginalized by heteronormative, patriarchal standards, some queer people feel distrustful of femmes, who they perceive as associated with these values. As Riley explains, femininity can be“seen as a kind of adherence to or buckling under to patriarchy.” Additionally, queer stereotypes can influence how queer people view femmes. Stereotypes such as the butch lesbian with a plaid shirt can influence a queer person’s thinking to the point that they don’t believe femme people as queer. Ren Horne, a nonbinary person who chooses to present femininely at times, explains how they have seen these stereotypes manifest in queer and trans spaces. “In my own experience, I have seen [queer stereotypes] mostly affect femme presenting and identifying folks...There’s an assumed heterosexuality when you see someone femme, this idea that by looking
11
OutCrowd Spring 2016
Outside In Sometimes, homophobia comes from within ourselves by Tess Hanna
I grew up in a small town in New
thinking that they would struggle to see past
England, where there were very few out gay
my sexuality just as I did. It wasn’t until I
people. I can think of only two students who
got to college that I began telling my close
were out from my entire high school career—
friends from home, via text and Facebook
one of which was a student asking his friends
message; it was too hard to actually say “I’m
to tell everyone, presumably because he was
gay” aloud and in person. Each person I told
afraid to do it himself.
was incredibly accepting and made me feel
as if I had nothing to fear in the first place.
As a middle schooler, I would say
things like, “I’m all for gay rights, as long as
they don’t shove it in my face.” Looking back
out had worn off though, I still felt uncom-
now, I realize this was homophobia masked as
fortable speaking about and expressing my
tolerance, rather than actual acceptance. This
gayness to my friends from home. Again, I
thought process later caused me to feel that
projected my own internalized homopho-
I needed to hide my sexual orientation. My
bias about my gayness onto them, thinking
experience in high school, coupled with how
that they saw me differently now. This was
I thought about gay people in middle school,
not a problem with my new college friends
fostered an environment that made it seem as
because, as far as they knew, I had always
if being gay was something to be ashamed of.
been this open about who I am. It was easy
not to directly confront my gayness when I
I finally realized that I was gay during
After the excitement of coming
my senior year of high school. However,
was single, because there was no one there
instead of embracing who I am , I continued
to remind me of my sexual orientation. This
to date my boyfriend at the time. I told no one
changed during my sophomore year when I
about my realization, out of fear of making my
began dating my current girlfriend.
friends uncomfortable with my sexuality, and
Once I entered into a legitimate
thereby changing my relationship with them. I relationship, I was forced to come to terms was projecting my own shame onto my friends, with the fact that I am not only gay, but
12
Narrative
photo by Erin Carter I was also acting on that gayness. These
“ As a middle schooler, I would say things like, “I’m all for gay rights, as long as they don’t shove it in my face.” Looking back now, I realize this was homophobia masked as tolerance, rather than actual acceptance. “
mental struggles were not a problem in private settings with my girlfriend. Sitting on her couch in her apartment, watching TV, I felt comfortable and finally free to be who I was. Out in public though, I was (and sometimes continue to be) hyperaware of everyone around my girlfriend and me. I constantly wondered if I was making the people around me uncomfortable by holding
orientation still eats at me. I don’t want
hands with another woman.
to be a source of discomfort for others, but
someone disliking me because I’m a lesbian
Not only was I worried about this,
I was afraid of the potential threat of verbal
is their problem, not mine.
and physical violence, which, in my mind,
would be my fault for being gay. Rationally,
this destructive and selfloathing way of
I know that this is a ridiculous way to think;
thinking, and I am committed to becoming
being attacked by a homophobe would, of
comfortable with myself, despite the opin-
course, not be my fault. Still, the thought
ions of others.
I refuse to continue to perpetuate
that I could be hurt, or that I could make others uncomfortable because of my sexual
13
OutCrowd Spring 2016
State of Ambivalence Queer Jewish scholars confront the legacy of Zionism by Nedda Sarshar illustration by Farrell Brenner
Internationally acclaimed queer
philosopher, activist, and professor
in Missouri. Ze’s Jewish identity is prominent in hir early written works
Judith Butler was born in 1956 to Jewish centered around labor class life and Hungarian and Russian parents. Most of working class struggles. Aside from her parents’ families was killed in the
being queer and transgender, Jewish,
Holocaust. She grew up attending He-
and anti-imperialist, both have also
brew classes and took an active interest
established themselves as enemies of
in Jewish studies from a young age, even the state of Israel. Their views have taking tutorial classes with a rabbi. brought a great deal of controversy and discontent both within the Jewish She has also been called a “useful idiot”
community and amongst other pro-
for antisemites, a supporter of terrorism, Israel groups. Feinberg and Butler, and a self-hating Jew. Likewise, though among others, throw the notion that not religious, the late Leslie Feinberg
Jewish identity requires support for
always identified as a “secular Jew”. Ze
the state of Israel into deep contention.
grew up in a working class Jewish home
They push back against what’s known
14
Features as pinkwashing, a combination of “pink” and “whitewashing,” where queerfriendliness is used to obscure and draw sympathy for acts of state violence under the guise of protecting LGBTQ rights. It’s a form of erasure, portraying Israel as a liberal minded civilization and the Muslim world as an oppressive, homophobic regime.
“Opposing Zionism is no small thing. It has put Feinberg and Butler, among others, in the movement’s crosshairs”
conceal the continuing violation of Palestinians’ human rights behind an image of modernity signified by Israeli gay life.” Indeed, pinkwashing downplays human rights violations perpetrated by imperial powers such as the United States and Israel, while ignoring the numerous communities of Muslim homosexuals and their allies that exist and thrive in the Middle East. Likewise, Israel maintains a rhetoric of emancipation, Butler has argued, yet does not offer equal rights of citizenship to Jews and nonJews.
Despite human rights offenses against
The State of Israel emerged a mere four the people of Palestine, Israel is praised years after World War II. The Holofor its “democratic government” and caust had shattered the Jewish comits “openmindedness” to issues such as LGBTQ rights and business freedom.
munity in Europe, between five and six
million Jewish lives out of a population The tangled associations between Israel of nine million. But Jews had been opand its reputation as a guardian of pressed and destroyed centuries before LGBTQ rights complicate the already
the Holocaust. Jews faced massacres
emotionallyfraught conversation about and expulsions during the Crusades. Israel. They were frequently scapegoated during the Black Plague and wrongly In her November 2011 New York Times accused of causing the epidemic. Jews oped “Israel and Pinkwashing,” writer were burned at the stake in an effort and professor Sarah Schulman calls
pinkwashing a “deliberate strategy to
to thwart the plague before it struck. More modern examples include the
15
OutCrowd Spring 2016 Papal States, sovereign states in the
interconnected, even inseparable.
Italian Peninsula under the Pope’s direct rule until 1870, where Jews were
Opposing Zionism is no small thing.
only allowed to live in specific neigh-
It has put Feinberg and Butler, among
borhoods labelled as ghettos. There
others, in the movement’s crosshairs.
were numerous massacres in cities like
Yet, Leslie Feinberg once declared
Baghdad and Damascus in the decades
“Zionism was colonialism.” Ze de-
leading up to World War II. And so the
scribed it as a reactionary, racist ide-
state of Israel emerged to shelter Jews
ology that by no means represented
from further systematic oppression.
all Jewish people. Feinberg asserted the state of Israel was supported by
The Zionist movement strengthened
western capitalist powers to oppress
within the Jewish Diaspora after World
revolutions happening in the Arab
War II, gaining a central role in the
world. In a 2002 speech at the Al
public sphere. An essay collection
Fatiha Retreat, Feinberg defined the
published by the American Jewish
Palestinian liberation movement as
Committee called Israel on My Mind:
an “anticolonial movement,” and said
Israel’s Role in Jewish Identity defines
“reactionary, apartheid crime against
Zionists as the nationalists of Israel, the
the people of Palestine is carried out
branch of Jewish identity that advocat-
in the name of all Jewish people in
ed for a Jewish state. Zionists advocat-
order to pit Jews against Arabs.” The
ed for an armed state of Israel protect-
key to resolving this injustice was to
ed by public law, ready to protect itself
“fight Zionism and its U.S. master.”
against antisemitic powers outside of
Ze went on to praise Jews around
its borders. Such a state never before
the world who have taken a stance
existed for the world’s Jews. To the
against the state of Israel, who have
Zionists, this would be the only way for
“travelled to reoccuppied territories
Jewish culture and lives to survive in
to defend Palestinians with their
peace in an antisemitic world.
lives.”
These traumas are why Zionism
The discourse about Israel tends to
and Jewish identity have become
pit Palestinian casualties against the
16
Features makes for a grievable life,” Butler says, pointing out the mainstream assumption that lives lost in Gaza were members of Hamas.This objectification of Palestinian lives, she argues, is similar to the kind that propagates hatred and brutality against Jewish communities. Her Jewish values, she went on to say, drove her to take a stance against Israel. “As a Jew, I was taught that it was ethically imperative to speak up and to speak out against arbitrary state violence,” she said. “Not just for Jews, but for any number of people. There was an entire idea of social justice that violence perpetrated on their behalf,
emerged for me from the consider-
attempting to make sense of a pro-
ation of the Nazi genocide.”
tracted conflict by weighing who has lost more. In a February 2010 inter-
The same young Jewish girl who once
view with, Butler touches on the roles
studied Martin Buber after being told
of empathy and violence in shaping
by her rabbi she was too talkative said
this hierarchy of loss. For her, it was
“there are many” things from Jewish
clear that certain lives held different
philosophy that are important for her
values than others, and that dispar-
— one of which is the value of this life.
ity is echoed in who gets grieved by
Because there is no after world ac-
the Israeli government and media.
cording to this philosophy, Butler told
Palestinian lives are “understood as
Haaretz, “because we don’t have any
ungrievable,” she says, because they are hopes in a final redemption, we have to seen as instruments of war, a means take especially good care of life in the to a national security end rather than
here and now. Life has to be protect-
human losses. They are understood as
ed. It is precarious. I would even go so
“outside that sense of belonging which
far as to say that precarious life is, in a way, a Jewish value for me.” 17
OutCrowd Spring 2016
Your
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Vi amin Q by Vell Cummings with contributions by Rachel Sandler
Once, a great friend of a friend
helped me figure out what I needed to know health-wise as someone on the trans spectrum when I first thought of transitioning. Not everyone has that friend, and that’s what this article is for—to help you be the best you, and find out where to go to get your needs met. According to the 2015 New York state LGBT Health and Human Services Needs Assessment, 35 percent of LGBTQ people in Central New York cite a lack of psychological support groups as a barrier to getting health care. 30 percent say there are not enough health professionals trained and competent with the LGBTQ community and 23 percent say they do not have a primary care provider.
Planned Parenthood offers a variety
of services to people who aren’t heteronormative. On their page you can find a lot of information about different sexual orientations, where to find support, etc. They offer basic physical exams, preventative care, and STD testing. However, only some of the Planned Parenthoods are authorized to offer hormone treatment. In New York, the Ithaca Center and the Saratoga Springs Center offer this service. At the Ithaca center you can book your appointments online from the website. Planned Parenthood has also started its own platform specifically geared toward LGBTQ people. The website — outforhealth.org — puts all of the resources Planned Parenthood offers to LGBTQ people in one place. For more information visit: http://www.outforhealth.org/ Syracuse Location: 1120 East Genesee Street Zip Code: 13210 Phone: 315-475-5540 Fax: 315-475-0685 Ithaca Location: 620 West Seneca Street. Zip code: 14850 Phone: 607-273-1513 Fax: 607-273-8776
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Sex and Health ACR Health is a community based,
non-profit organization dedicated to eliminating ailments, educating youth on sexual health, and providing safe spaces for queer folk at its Q Center. The organization has weekly support groups, the most popular of which is the TransYouth group, which has about 15-25 attendees each week, said Mattie Barone, an educator and Care Manager at the Q Center. The Q Center also has a TransParent support group and a TransSibling support group. ACR also provides HIV/STI education and testing for queer youth in Syracuse, Little Falls, Utica, and Watertown in addition to care management and counseling. In November, ACR hosted a conference with medical professionals that focused on improving healthcare for trans in the area — the first of its kind in Syracuse. Over 100 people attended the conference. “I think we are doing a good job with what we have, but there is always room for improvement,” Barone said. For further information visit: http://acrhealth. org/ Location: 627 West Genesee Street in Syracuse, New York Zip code:13204 Phone: (315)475-2430
photo by Erin Carter
The Transgender Health Services Network of CNY has served as the ultimate tool for finding professional transgender health care services since the 1990’s. “Our goal is to provide a network of professional resources in our geographic region, which would allow transgender persons options for care locally” reads the front page of their website.
Also found on their website are the various names and numbers of providers in the CNY area committed to this goal. Their network of providers currently consists of an internist, pediatrician, pharmacist, FTM advisor, psychotherapists, surgeons, and a voice therapist who all work toward the goal of providing competent health care to the transgender community. What’s great about the providers and practices listed in the network is that they all adhere to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) standards. This means that they follow globally set principles for transgender and gender non-conforming health care. For further information visit: http://transgendercny.net/ Location: 90 Presidential Ct, in Syracuse, New York, 13202 / Phone: 315-464-3835
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OutCrowd Spring 2016 with their voice and their art. “[The founders’] motives were pure. They were trying to create a space for people who weren’t men in art.” Maine hopes this will generate a more inclusive conversation. To Maine, the feminist focus is their responsibility as curators.
Girl Girl
While the collective began(and is still based) at Syracuse University it is now spanning across the country to provide a safe and welcoming
by Hannah Mesches
To the founders, this rule was a "Female only, sassy revenge stab"a takedown of the men who have controlled the art world for centuries
irl on Girl, a Syracuse University based art collective, is expanding its idea of equality for future installations. “Before last fall, the submission requirements were that you had to be a girl.” Alexis Maine says about the process. She never discussed it with second generation leaders Olivia Gough and Annie Pettinga, but always felt that the restriction wasn’t right. Maine wondered what artists who didn’t subscribe to the strict binary system that Girl on Girl participated in were to do
atmosphere for women to present their work and view others’. As the collective evolves and grows, the ideals from which it is based in also are dynamic in nature. “It gets tricky, because it’s mostly cis women who submit to Girl on Girl, which leaves out a large group that could still be feminist.” Maine notes. When Alexis brought up the idea to expand the collective to be more intersectional and inclusive, “It was shot down” Maine remembers. To the founders, this rule was a “Female only, sassy
Changes are afoot in the student feminist art scene in Syracuse
G
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Arts and Entertainment revenge stab”a takedown of the men who have controlled the art world for centuries, according to Maine. The collective’s last project was a Generation XX themed show that focused on the millennial lifestyle and how it influences art, culture and feminism. It included themes about the positive relationships girls are able to cultivate in online communities in the internet age. Pieces ranged from a shrine to all things digital, to a wall of bags filled with both mundane and evocative items such as pills and blood, and to video contributions satirizing beauty standards. Photographs of body hair was one of many choices for the exhibit that aligned with feminist ideals. “The idea of “postinternet feminism”, which set the tone of the exhibit, has always been predominantly made up of white feminists,” Maine stated, which most likely contributed to the lack of diversity.
generation, Maine noted that “The same section of feminism is being talked about over and over again, it’s boring.” In order to make a noticeable change, the current leaders believe that opening up submissions isn’t enough. “We need people that curate who are more diverse,” Maine asserted. However, Girl on Girl isn’t looking to force any prospective artists into submitting. They don’t want women to feel like they are part of an exhibit merely to check a box. The idea of tokenizing, or the policy and practice of making a perfunctory gesture toward the inclusion of members of minority groups, would take the group in the opposite direction they wish to go in. While diversity is necessary in a conversation about feminism, objectifying those who step forward to tell their stories only constructs a greater barrier.
While the curators believe the show was strong, especially due to its more official voice, communication design and poster
"The same section of feminism is being talked about over and over again, its boring." photo by Erin Carter
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OutCrowd Spring 2016
Another Kind of Border Undocumented queer and trans youth describe their experiences and hopes *all names have been altered
by Amy Quichiz illustration by Taylyn Harmon
A
fter facing or witnessing various types of discrimination, thousands of queerpeople of color cross the border hoping to find acceptance, security, and the “American Dream.” The University of California Los Angeles Williams Institute, a leading research center on gender and sexuality, estimated that there are approximately 267,000 LGBTQ adult undocumented immigrants living in the United States. Many transgender immigrants come to the U.S to escape life-threatening persecution based on how they identify. However, once queer immigrants cross the border, the discrimination they have faced in their home country still continues in the U.S because of similar homophobic institutions that oppress the undocumented queer community, such as the Christian church or the
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U.S Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Alejandra, a 20yearold from Honduras, shares how difficult it has been for her to know that her life is constantly in danger in Honduras because of the rates of trans women that are being killed every day. “I immigrated because trying to find any kind of job was very hard and I constantly hear stories of trans women being killed for being who they truly are. I cannot live in fear and that is why I’m leaving to the capital of Mexico.” Even though Alejandra left her home country, she understands that no matter where she’ll go, the discrimination toward queer bodies will not disappear.
Social Politics
Queer immigrants face the sometimes impossay I deserve all the bad things that happen to sible struggle of obtaining an identification card during and after crossing the border. This me. They want to kill and humiliate us.” Because results in high unemployment rates and limited of Diaz’ sexual orientation, he still receives access to other resources that they need once ar- death threats through Facebook from certain riving to the States. The National Transgender Honduras gang members. For many of LGBTQ immigrants, deportation can literally be life Discrimination survey shows that in the U.S, undocumented transgender people face higher threatening. Diaz continues to tell me a story of risks of discrimination in employment, housing, his best friend, who identified as gay, trying to and healthcare. Guzman, 21, notices that many cross the border because of the discrimination he faced in Honduras and getting deported trans women of her generation are leaving El after five days. Despite having all the evidence Salvador for the same reasons. that this was a life-and-death situation, his friend was still deported and then killed only “Whenever people see me in the streets, they assume I’m some kind of curse. They don’t give a few days after his arrival in Honduras by the same gang members that he wanted to escape. us opportunities and then tell neighbors to close doors we haven’t even tried The problem with these cases, which happen to open yet. Wherever we go, no one will give us through U.S courts, is that only about one pera job.” Unpacking the idea of being considered cent of those who apply for asylum are allowed to stay in the States.
“Together they say, “not one more family destroyed, not one more person left behind, not one more deportation.” a “curse,” Guzman discussed the kind of homophobic influence the Church has been in Latin communities for centuries. Guzman briefly mentioned how her faith has also been challenged because of her identity and how it has been hard to attend church in different cities when Latinos do not accept her. This kind of oppression does not end after crossing. In fact, this brand of discrimination is also intense in United States, another Christian-dominant society. Historically, doctors and sociologists have said LGBTQ people have mental disabilities due to their sexualities or genders, and therefore, need to be “fixed” or “cured.” Diaz, 16, tells me he faces the same kind of oppressions in Honduras, such as his family or “friends” telling him he has a mental disability because of his sexuality. “Here in Honduras, they treat me like shit and constantly say I’m not normal. They compare my sexuality with having a mental illness and
Imelda Plascencia is a recent graduate of UCLA who identifies as both queer and undocumented. One of her goals is to reach students who have felt scared to say they are both undocumented and queer and to let them know they are not alone. She has stated that even within spaces of only-undocumented people in Los Angeles, the language used toward people with queer identities is mostly derogatory . Therefore she started Queer, Undocumented, and Unafraid for those that want to find their voice and fight for their rights. In addition to Plascencia’s campaign, there are others such as “Not 1 More,” which also builds collaboration between individuals, organizations, artists, and allies to expose, confront, and overcome unjust immigration laws. Together they say, “not one more family destroyed, not one more person left behind, not one more deportation.” Out of all three interviewees, the only one that has made it to the United States is Diaz, who now lives in Texas. He continues to be an activist in his new community to speak about issues faced by undocuqueer youth living between the borderlands. As for Guzman and Alejandra, they hope to make it to the United States one day and fight for their rights as well.
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OutCrowd Spring 2016
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Coloring Page
illustration by Madeleine Slade 25
Ham OutCrowd Spring 2016
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OutCrowd Spring 2016
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Photo
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OutCrowd Spring 2016
Whose Lives?
by Stacy Fernandez illustration by Autumn Wilson
#BLM is a movement that centers the issues of queer and trans people
T
which black lives are celebrated and humanized, according to the website. Kei Williams, a community organizer for the Black Lives Matter New York City chapter who is originally from Syracuse, has been doing movement work since they were young. When the ride down to Ferguson occurred in response to Mike Brown’s death. While they Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi created the hashtag in 2012 in response to the ac- were not able to go on the ride, a core group of quittal of George Zimmerman, Trayvon Martin’s the chapter’s members did. murderer — and the American public putting Trayvon on trial for his own murder after he had “When they returned we decided that we can’t passed away. The hashtag is a call to action as well just let this die out, we can’t just let this be a one‐time thing,” Williams said. as a response to the anti‐Black racism that infiltrates society and black movements, according to Williams said they see the movement as a continuation of the civil rights movement. the Black Lives Matter website. They said it’s the first acknowledgment of the The women were able to move the hashtag from fact that there is an epidemic of police brutality social media to the street with the help of cultural specifically in the black and brown community workers, artists, designers and technicians. They and raising awareness that “we’re here and we matter.” have hosted national conference calls centered around issues that are important for the libera“While we’re trying to correct our anti‐blacktion of black people, and have connected indiness on a global level it also means that all black viduals across the country working on ending different forms of injustice that impact their com- lives matter, right, so it’s not just the cis hetero munity. #BlackLivesMatter has become a space in black male who needs rescuing,” Williams said. he women behind #BlackLivesMater describe it as a movement rather than a moment. While the movement has become global, what many people aren’t aware of is that all of the women behind #BlackLivesMatter identify as queer.
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Social Politics Garza wrote that straight men have unintentionally or intentionally taken the work of queer Black women and erased their contributions. She said being Black queer women in this society and within these movements tends to result in invisibility and non‐relevancy. “Black queer and trans folks bearing a unique burden in a hetero‐patriarchal society that disposes of us like garbage and simultaneously fetishizes us and profits off of us is state violence,” Garza said on the website. Williams, who identifies as a black trans masculine activist, said that a lot of the leadership and
“#BlackLivesMatter has become a space in which black lives are celebrated and humanized” organizers in BLM identify as queer, trans or gender nonconforming on a national and local level. And while they are well represented in BLM, living in a heteronormative society they have to conform constantly in order to feel safe, be able to get proper housing, and get a job that pays the bills. “There are so many complexities to consider being a black person in America, and the work that we do is in order to improve that,” Williams said.
Patrisse Cullors
Patrisse Cullors is a self described freedom fighter and fashionista. She works to reform the United States’s violent jail and prison system. Cullors created Dignity and Power Now, a group dedicated to protecting incarcerated people and their families in Los Angeles. DPN is currently sponsored by the non profit Community Partners. Cullors organized a Freedom Ride for Black Lives Matter protesters in response to the murder of Michael Brown.
Alicia Garza Alicia Garza is a queer social justice activist and writer. She has worked with issues of health, student services and rights, rights for domestic workers, ending police brutality, anti‐racism, and violence against trans and gender non‐conforming people of color. She serves as the special projects director for the National Domestic Workers Alliance, is on the board of directors for the Oakland, California‐based School of Unity and Liberation, works with Black Organizing for Leadership and Dignity and writes for WarTimes magazine, among other publications.
Opal Tometi Opal Tometi is a Nigerian-American writer and activist. She is the executive director for Black Alliance for Just Immigration, a group focused on the advancement of immigrant rights and racial justice for African-American, Afro-Latino, African and Caribbean immigrant communities. In an interview with The Nation, Tometi acknowledged that “The queer community and the black queer community specifically have been riding so hard for us” and the importance of visibility for Cullors and Garza, to whom she refers as her “black queer sisters.” 31
OutCrowd Spring 2016
There’s No Place Like Home Parents’ intolerance puts the “home” in “homophobia” by Deniz Sahinturk
T
he first big freak out my parents had happened when I was seven. Of course all parents freak out sometimes, but this one was different. It was full on panic in our house, an oh my god what are we going to do now?! sort of thing. The reason? My best friend in primary school had a very religiously conservative family, and she was basically feeding me religious propaganda she picked up from her parents. My liberal atheist parents weren’t too happy about that. The second major freak out came six years later when I was in 7th grade and hopelessly in love with my best friend. We had bonded over reading Harry Potter fan fictions and eating nutella pancakes. It took us two weeks to become attached at the hip and become known as “the best friends,” but to me she was much more than that. Her name was Irmak, and even though I wasn’t fully aware of what I was feeling back then, I was deeply in love with her. However, other people apparently were aware of what I was feeling and soon enough, a rumor had surfaced that I was a lesbian. Irmak immediately stopped talking to me, and I lost all my friends. Going to school was torment. Being near Irmak was torment. My parents, as much as they wanted to support me, were mortified that their daughter was being called a lesbian. At the same time I was eating less and less, occasionally crying for hours at a time and showing the first signs of depression,but they only cared about me being called a “lesbian”. Fun times.
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Thankfully, primary school was over in just a year and when I went to high school, I fell head over heels for a guy and forgot all about my broken heart. I never forgot, however, that was when I was having one of my first breakdowns and stress induced migraines and stomach aches, yet all my parents cared about was the fact that I was being called a “lesbian.” Growing up, I looked up to my parents as idols. They were both ex-socialists who participated in numerous leftist organizations during their high school and college years. During years when my country was getting more and more conservative, they still managed to remain “vodka enthusiast” atheists. My mom was almost killed by the police during a government protest when she was 18 and my dad could spend hours speaking about physics. They were pretty cool, basically. And yet they were homophobic ‐‐ passionately. Once when I was 14, I went to the movies with my parents and my dad made us change seats because he didn’t want to sit next to a gay couple. The barista at my favorite coffee shop was gay and my mom usually referred to it as “that gay guy’s place.” She also constantly said that she didn’t have a problem with gays but couldn’t stand lesbians (yeah mom, they were dying for your approval anyway). As a feminist, these assumptions made me cringe, but I never thought they would affect my life directly‐‐ until I met Rebecca during the summer of 2014.
Narrative
illustration by Kelly O’Neill Throughout my junior year of high school, I was severely depressed. I started avoiding my friends and withdrew into my shell. I spent hours in my room, lying in my bed and feeling more and more suffocated with every passing minute. My parents accused me of being spoiled and refused to let me seek help, causing me to become suicidal. However, they did send me away to a one month language retreat in France, hoping a change of scenery would help with my daily breakdowns, and that was where I met Rebecca. She was a 25‐year‐old Austrian woman who loved to go out. Despite our age difference, we spent every free moment we had together. She came to my room every morning to have coffee, and every afternoon at 4pm to get ready to go out. We were inseparable for 4 weeks. She saw me as her sister. I was in love with her. After a tearful goodbye at the train station with Rebecca, I went back home with two plans in mind. First of all, I was going to go to a psychiatrist, and get better no matter what my parents said. The happiness I felt with Rebecca had convinced me to give life one more shot. I was also going to come out as bisexual. Stubbornness ran in the family, so I knew my parents would do anything they could to get me to “change my mind”. I didn’t care though. After repeatedly begging them to let me
get help only to be shut down and called spoiled had done the trick‐ they weren’t my idols anymore. I dreaded the thought of becoming like them, regardless of the amazing things they had once done. I started small, posting LGBTQ friendly articles on Facebook and twitter. My dad kept telling me to remove them so that people wouldn’t get the wrong idea. I kept telling him I didn’t care. He would get furious and would cry, “Do you want people to think you’re a lesbian?” I would tilt my head and say, “I’m bisexual, so I don’t care. If I were straight, I still wouldn’t care. If you want to be homophobic, go somewhere else.” I then began confronting my parents when they used homophobic slurs and sayings. At first, they accused me of trying to bother them. Then we got into arguments. After two or three months, they finally got tired and stopped using them around me. It was the first win of a painful and mostly futile project. Will I ever be able to change my parents? Probably not. Will it make me give up trying? No. Even though they are no longer my idols, and our relationship is so deeply scarred that I question if they truly love me, they still managed to teach me how important is to stand up for what you believe in. And I’ll be doing just that.
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OutCrowd Spring 2016
Untitled by Hasmik Djoulakian
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Poem
illustration by Olivia Monko
warmth trickles down legs and enlivens toes as we stand on the train platform readying to leave in opposite directions drunk with summertime gumption the hairs on my arms sing in delight fingers contort in disbelief we are propelled forward by the blood sweeping through our bodies faces cold and wind足chapped, smiling for a moment, there is only the smell of cinnamon then we break away and train speeds off trembling in its tracks past blurred grey walls
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OutCrowd Spring 2016
The Pink Triangle When we remember the Holocaust, we remember our own by Shannon Joseph
O n June 1, 1938, Hitler ordered the
execution of Ernst Rohm and other rebel
victims of the Holocaust were written out of history.
leaders within the Nazi party. Rohm was the leader of the SA at the time, and a known
For decades following World War II, these
homosexual within Nazi leadership. Rohm’s homosexual victims were not recognized as death elevated Hitler’s position to supreme victims at all. Sexual reformers in Germahead of the German people. To justify his
ny were fighting back as early as the 1890s
power grab, Hitler used Rohm’s homosex-
against Paragraph 175 of the German Penal
uality to discredit his former political rival.
Code, which criminalized homosexual acts
“I want men as SA leaders,” Hitler said in a
between men. Their movement gained
speech following the execution, “not ridicu- momentum under the leadership of the lous monkeys.” Scientific Humanitarian Committee and its leader, Magnus Hirschfeld. The orgaWith these words, Hitler ordered the eradica- nization worked to educate the public on tion of homosexuals within all Nazi organi- issues of homosexuality and, ultimately, to zations. What followed was an exponential repeal Paragraph 175. The somewhat liberal rise in the imprisonment, torture, and mur- Weimar Republic after World War I did not der of all homosexual people living under widely enforce the law persecuting homoNazi control. During the Nazi era, an esti-
sexuals, allowing gay culture in Germany
mated 50,000 to 100,000 men were impris-
to flourish. Books, films, articles, and even
oned for charges of homosexuality. As many a proliferation of meeting places between as 15,000 ended up in concentration camps. homosexuals meant homosexuality was beDespite the violence they endured from
ing more openly discussed than ever before.
guards and other prisoners, the homosexual This all changed when Nazi deputies in the 36
Features Assembly began to target homosexuality in
purity,” referring to homosexuals who
new ways. They determined the Jews were
were Aryan. The number of Jewish and
the orchestrators of a dangerous homosexual
Romani homosexuals is not clear, since
conspiracy to undermine the morality of the
these groups were persecuted foremost
German social order. Homosexuality threat-
for their inferior racial status. Students
ened the sanctity and ideal of the Aryan fam-
were encouraged to inform the Gestapo if
ily, as well as the Nazis’ desires to repopulate
they suspected their teachers were ho-
the world with Aryans. German strength was
mosexual. People were expected to testify
threatened because the continued growth of
against their neighbors, employers against
the Aryan population was threatened. Homo- their employees, and so on. Certain areas of the city had long been known for their sexuality, therefore, was irreconcilable with racial purity.
gay‐cruising scene, with public accommodations ranging from bars to even
Before Rohm’s execution, Heinrich Himmler had emerged as a major supporter of this argument, and his voice would gain influence with his increasing station. When the Nazi Party seized control in 1933, Himmler was placed in charge of the SS. He was determined to rid Germany of homosexuals and
“Homosexuality threatened the sanctity and ideal of the Aryan family, as well as the Nazis’ desires to repopulate the world with Aryans.”
put an end to their movement. The ultimate goal of the Gestapo’s project was to identify every homosexual in Germany and its terri-
“transvestite balls”. Men spotted in these
tories, then transport them to concentration
parts of town were also suspect.
camps. Hitler ordered homosexuals to register themselves and charged the Gestapo with
Once a few men were identified, they were
carrying out his plans. He was aided by the
interrogated and brutalized by the Gestapo
1935 expansion of Paragraph 175. The new
to secure the names of other homosexuals.
law threatened any “male who commits a sex
“After violently shutting my file, the SS
offense with another male” or “allows himself man facing me instantly called me Schto be used by another male for a sex offense”
weinehund (dirty bastard), filthy faggot.
with prison and a minimum of ten years’
The interrogation was only just starting,”
labor. In the decade after that amendment,
Pierre Seel, a gay Holocaust survivor living
the SS created elaborate informant networks
in Alsace, recounting in his memoir the
aided by propaganda on the “homosexual’s
dehumanizing treatment he endured at the
threat to German reproduction and racial
hands of Gestapo officials. He and a dozen 37
OutCrowd Spring 2016 other men were sodomized with broken
testimonies from within the concentration
rulers, confined to miserably damp holding
camp by homosexual prisoners reveal SS
cells, and ultimately shipped off to concen-
officials in the camps were much less toler-
tration camps.
ant. The homosexuals’ progressive subculture from the earlier part of the century
Pierre and the other men were imprisoned
had largely been eradicated. As a result, the
without due process, the kind of treatment
prisoners who wore the pink triangle, an
the Paragraph 175 legalized for suspected
identifying marker for homosexual in-
homosexuals. But while the goal may have
mates, were wanton for any kind of group
been to put every homosexual in the camps,
solidarity. Contact between prisoners was
the Nazi’s ultimate goal did not appear to be
always suspect as evidence of other lewd
the complete eradication of homosexuals.
behavior, so homosexuals rarely spoke to
Official policy seems to have been motivated each other to avoid torment at the hands of by a desire to perform behavioral modifi-
the SS and other prisoners. This may have
cation on homosexuals or to castrate those
been why death rates for homosexuals in
men who were deemed “incurable.” A Danish the camps were three times higher than for man named Vaernet claimed he had devel-
those of other, non‐Jewish prisoners. Al-
oped a hormonal implant which would cure
though their actual numbers in the camps
an inmate’s homosexuality. These inmates
were very small — most experts estimate
were forced to wear these implants, and
that around 14,000 homosexuals were
their progress was closely monitored. Many
ultimately incarcerated — the majority of
of Vaernet’s and other Nazi doctors’ experi-
the men sent to death camps were extermi-
ments led to death, mutilation, and illness.
nated, and most of those who died did so within the first few months of their captiv-
While the broader Nazi regime was
ity. For many, the end of the war brought
concerned mostly with finding a cure,
peace and a slow return to normalcy. Mr. Seel’s memoir reveals this was not the case
“Contact between prisoners was always suspect as evidence of other lewd behavior, so homosexuals rarely spoke to each other to avoid torment at the hands of the SS and other prisoners.” 38
for the homosexual survivor. “Liberation,” he wrote, “was only for others.” Homosexuality remained a crime under German law until 1968 and homophobia was still deeply ingrained into the culture following World War II. The Nuremberg Trials of 1945 did not address the status of the homosexual survivors. Nazi‐penned
Features amendments to Paragraph 175 remained in
discrimination.” In 2003, the United States
the German legal code until 1969. Homo-
Holocaust Memorial launched a recurring
sexual holocaust survivors were unable to
exhibit to remember gay victims of the
press their case before courts for fear of their holocaust. homosexuality being prosecuted themselves. Seel attempted for many years to lead a clos- Most importantly, Mr. Seel and others’ eted life , but his imprisonment had revealed memoirs have provided a rare, personal his sexuality to his peers. He faced social
glimpse into a part of our community’s his-
exclusion, even after the war. Later in his
tory that could very well have been erased
life, after finally deciding to come forward
from history. “I had to bear witness,” Seel
with his story, he was denied the benefits
wrote in the final pages of his 1994 memoir,
and reparations afforded to other holocaust
“in order to protect the future and to over-
survivors. Seel’s native France refused to
come the amnesia of my contemporaries.”
formally recognize homosexuals as holocaust survivors until 1980.
illustration by Delaney Kuric
Thankfully, in the last few decades, the modern gay rights movement has led to a concerted effort to shed light on the experiences of homosexuals during the Third Reich. Martin Sherman’s 1979 play, Bent, which takes place around the time of Rohm’s execution, is often credited as the beginning of a resurging interest in the homosexual victims of the holocaust. The Homomonument, erected in Amsterdam in 1987 with funds raised by the Dutch gay and lesbian rights movement, was the first memorial of its kind to commemorate the gay and lesbian victims of the Nazi regime. Three pink triangles are set into the ground, forming a larger pink triangle. One triangle is set into the banks of the canal with steps leading into the water. The street‐level monument was designed to “inspire and support lesbians and gays in their struggle against denial, oppression and 39
OutCrowd Spring 2016
Queer
Bedrooms by Genevieve Pilch
A bedroom can be so much more than just a place where someone sleeps. For many it is a space of their own where they have the opportunity to express themselves without fear of judgment, especially if such a space isn’t available to them in the outside world. A bedroom’s décor has the potential to provide comfort or inspiration to the occupant. The items a person chooses to display impact their mood and also reveal aspects of their personality and interests. Seeing a poster or a photograph in the room of a complete stranger can open up a conversation about a shared passion or similar experiences. Besides serving as conversation starters these details turn a plain, boring room into more of a home. Getting to know people through the spaces they occupy provides a unique perspective, conveying more information than a basic portrait would be able to show. And because individuals are in a comfortable environment they tend to be more confident and open. This series of bedroom portraits gives our audience a more intimate view into the lives of a few members of the Syracuse University LGBTQ community. 40
soleil >>
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lauren >>
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OutCrowd Spring 2016
School’s OUT
Being oneself isn’t always easy in the workplace by Kate Fletcher
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I look up from watching a seventh grade student fill out a worksheet, my pencil poised above a misspelled word. The girl across the table from me smiles coyly. I can almost feel an invisible hand painting a rainbow target on my forehead.
“I should stop asking you about that.” “Yes, you should,” I say, still smiling rigidly. “Come on, you’re halfway done.”
The focus shifts not to work but to middle school gossip, but I’m just relieved that I have time to gather my thoughts. I always knew that becoming a “No.” teacher meant I’d have to be careful about I force a smile. I imagine her as an ar- how much of my personal life I revealed, but cher nocking an arrow. She lines up her shot. I thought I’d have a couple years to figure things out. Getting thrown into teaching observations the second semester of college “Do you have a girlfriend?” takes away that time. My years to think about it condensed into a few minutes whenever I Not a bullseye but I feel my ears turn could get them. red. Damn. Every year before observations begin, education classes go over the School of “No.” I keep the same smile on my face and Education’s Code of Conduct for preservice teachers. Jammed into one bullet point is the fight the urge to run my hand through my short hair. The collar on my buttondown shirt warning not to reveal too much about our personal lives, values, and beliefs. This one feels too tight. My men’s dress shoes feel like bullet point is supplemented by the frequent they’re too big. 44
Narrative
I always knew that becoming a teacher meant I’d have to be careful about how much of my personal life I revealed, but I thought I’d have a couple years to f igure things out.
The lack of accessible queer role models for students is a strong reason in my “pro” column to come out to my students, and queer friends in the education community tend to follow that same line of thought. I don’t want to imagine myself as a lifesaving lesbian teacher or queer vigilante giving students a place to vent. However, I do feel some responsibility to come out for the sake of my students. Despite having only one example of a queer teacher in my young life, that single example made a difference. I saw students treating her with respect, and her adult lesbian presence reaffirmed my identity in some private way.
photo by Erin Carter
reminder to “use your best professional judgment”. I’d love to be able to say that I can stay true to who I am and not put myself back in the closet. I’d love to be able to say that the thought of returning to high school doesn’t give me horrible flashbacks about being in the closet for four years. But that’s not always possible, and it raises a lot of questions in my mind about the logistics of coming out or not coming out as a teacher. Coming out would involve thinking of a method to come out to my fellow teachers and students. Not coming out means that people will talk about my sexuality regardless. More importantly, I run the risk of falling back into the same cycle of self loathing that plagued me while I was still in high school.
I’ve tried talking about this with friends in the education community as well as friends in the LGBTQ community, but it’s difficult to explain the situation of being queer and being a teacher. Luckily, there’s a small intersection between those two circles where I’ve made a space for myself, and in this group we’ve talked about the pros and cons of coming out. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of examples of queer teachers in my life. In high school I had a teacher who was a lesbian, and she was pretty popular in our school, but it would be naïve of me to believe that every district would be so accepting. 45
OutCrowd Spring 2016
ACCESS and
TRANSGRESS Economic justice is crucial for disabled trans people
G
by Sarah Martinez with contributions by Natsumi Ajisaka illustration by Kai Breaux ender diversity is slowly gaining vis-
and disability activist. The few forms of visibil-
ibility and recognition in mainstream society,
ity and awareness of trans people who are also
but it is rarely discussed in conjunction with
disabled, like Clare’s essay collection Exile and
questions of class and disability.
Pride: Disability, Queerness, and Liberation and Filipino American poet Kay Ulanday Barrett’s
There is little structural support for the needs
poetry, are often by people of those identities.
of both identities, so trans people with disabilities experience constant disruptions to their
Poor or working class trans people are more
health and lives. People with disabilities are
likely to rely on Medicare to pay for healthcare
more likely to be poor, homeless, or both, and
costs. Medicare’s requirements complicate
rely on Medicaid. Not to mention the rules for
access to care and force trans disabled people
staying on Medicaid can interfere with trans
to make difficult choices. Doctors don’t always
disabled people’s access to surgeries, hormone
take Medicaid, for one. Poor trans people often
therapy, and other forms of healthcare.
pay more than cisgender individuals if they can find doctors knowledgeable about trans health,
Another worry is care providers who might
which isn’t always the case. Many insurance
be transphobic or ableist (or both). The in-
providers don’t cover the costs of necessary
tersection of disability and trans identity is
procedures and medications, like gender
routinely belittled, even ignored, in activist
reassignment and hormones, so trans individ-
spaces.“There’s not a lot of specific activism,
uals then pay out‐of‐pocket. Barrett, a trans
just one or the other” says Eli Clare, a writer
and disability advocate, says their doctors have
46
Sex and Health made them feel shame about their body and feels that many have a heterosexist and cisnor-
Living with a disability in an ableist society
mative mentality. This type of harassment takes
means being forced to endure further segrega-
a toll on mental health.
tion and harassment in education, healthcare, and public spaces such as bathrooms.Trans-
Medicare and food stamps are also difficult to
gender‐ and disability‐specific bathrooms seg-
get without IDs that mirror a person’s name and
regate these individuals rather than allowing
appearance. Only 21 percent of trans individu-
them to inhabit the same space as the majority
als who choose to transition are able to get the
of the society. However, when no gender
right ID,according to the 2011 National Trans-
neutral or accessible bathrooms are available,
gender Discrimination Survey (NTDS.) Some
disabled trans individuals are still segregated
government bodies require a surgical transition
since they can neither physically or socially
in order to have updated IDs and records. Not
use conventional bathrooms.“We don’t have
receiving an updated ID, employment and credit
access to that public space,” says Eli Clare who
discrimination, and unsafe schools leads to low-
is a trans man with cerebral palsy “and we
er incomes and higher rates of unemployment
know how valuable that space is.”
in the transgender community. A trans person is four times more likely to have an income under
Barrett calls for change from people outside of
$10,000 than a person outside of the LGBTQ
the trans and disabled communities. In a 2013
community. Even with the correct ID, trans
interview with Poor Magazine he said, “I can-
people experience discrimination in housing
not afford to align in social justice and change
through denial of the right to rent or buy, loan
that selectively plucks out the sick ones, the
discrimination, or eviction. The NTDS report-
broken, the crips, the awkward, the queer, the
ed that one in five trans individuals have been
disabled.” Life in a transphobic, ableist, and
homeless at some time in their lives. And as
classist society is oppressive, but the conse-
trans disabled people have found, activism does
quences for being all three identities means
not inoculate their peers against ableism.
constant isolation. He encourages disability activism within the trans community and the
Jordan Gwendolyn Davis, a trans writer with
end of ableism at conferences and universities
autism, published a list of some daily experi-
across the country.
ences trans disabled people have in a September 2015 piece for Medium. The list touches on
Clare believes the first step to end that isola-
hostile activist spaces that dismiss their activism
tion and make the trans and disabled identity
and suggestions, as well as conferences that are
more accessible is to create a public space
inaccessible, physically or otherwise. “Being
and promote acceptance for disabled people
disabled and transgender is often dealing with
within the queer community.
transgender peers in social justice circles who want to ‘cure” you, especially if you are autistic,” Davis writes.
47
OutCrowd Spring 2016
Let’s Discuss
SU’s LGBT Resource Center makes space for hard conversations
by Stacy Fernandez photo by Genevieve Pilch
A
s people start to flow into the resource center to meet with their discussion groups they make a beeline for where dinner is set up. The idea is to make sure everybody gets a chance to eat before, so that they are ready for a hearty discussion, and so that there is a common experience to discuss right off the bat. Syracuse University offers three discussion groups through the LGBT Resource Center for undergraduate students at SU and SUNY ESF: New 2 ‘Quse, Embody, and Fusion. The groups meet at 6 p.m. on their respective days at the resource center. The groups were created in order to create a safe community for people who identify similarly, so none of the groups are open for observation. People are encouraged to
48
respect the space of the group and only attend if they identify with the identities listed for the group. Tiffany Gray, interim director of the LGBT Resource Center and a co‐facilitator for Fusion said that she doesn’t know when these groups got started, but she does know that they have morphed over time and these have been the groups that have persevered. “The purpose as I’m sure you can guess is one for folks to have community with each other and hopefully to provide a space that’s confidential, a space that is affirming, a space that’s validating to people’s experiences and identities,” Gray said. New 2 ‘Quse is a mid‐sized group, but the energy of the students is palpable. Abby Fite, one of the facilitators, said that while
Features the group can be fun and silly, the participants are also very engaged. New 2 ‘Quse is open to students who are new to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, asexual, and ally campus communities. It meets every Monday during the fall semester and every other Monday in the spring.
New 2 ‘Quse is unique in that it is the only space that is open to anyone that is interested in participating. Participants are not asked to self identify when they step into the space. “The vast majority of participants are queer and trans people, so despite the fact that it’s open to cis straight people, we do not get a lot of cis straight people attending,” Fite said.
“The thought behind that is that students who are just coming to campus, because a Fite said there are a lot of people who identify lot of the folks in as allies and while this is an awesome opportunity for them to build community with New 2 ‘Quse are first years, could use a queer and trans folks and get into the LGBT frequent opportunity to come together resource center and become a part of queer and build community and discuss their and trans movements on campus, very few of experiences,” Fite said. them are showing up. Fite and her co‐facilitator Katie Matisse, an assistant residence director at Brewster, Boland and Brockway Halls, work together to come up with topics. While the other groups have more complex social justice discussions, with New 2 ‘Quse, the facilitators try to present topics that are time appropriate for students and how they are experiencing university life. The group discusses roommate situations, how to handle going home for holiday breaks and possibly coming out, classroom experiences, and dating.
Embody is the most intimate of the groups and is also the only trans exclusive space on campus. It is open to trans people, including genderqueer, gender nonconforming, and gender questioning individuals,, and meets every other Wednesday.
Embody has a diverse mix of participants including undergraduate students, graduate student and community members. The discussion groups are open to participation from the community, based on the approval of facilitators, since the center wouldn’t want to turn anybody away who is looking for a Fite believes that an important part of the safe space. discussion group is that it allows people to build community. The group is co‐ facilitated by Erin Duran, the People go into the space not knowing any- associate director of the center, and student body and step out on the other side hav- —Alice Blank. ing formed a new friendship and having learned from people who identify either While they do come in with topics, they let similarly or differently to themselves. the conversation go wherever the participants 49
OutCrowd Spring 2016 choose. This could mean descending into a conversation about soccer and Pokémon, both of which have happened. Duran said that at times Embody can have a heavy feel because of what is so often seen in the news and the media’s negative portrayals of trans people and rampant violence against trans individuals. He said sometimes it can feel that the only time you hear about trans people is because they’ve killed themselves or been killed by someone else. “We certainly want to talk about what’s going on, at what the current state of trans folks in the United States is, which is one characterized by danger and violence, but we also want to try and come together and find a positivity in the community,” Duran said. The facilitators are focused on ensuring that the participants are interacting more as people and building relationships into the group. If there is ever a lull in conversation, Duran and Blank are ready with multiple topics such as clothing, passing, current events, love and feeling validated. They also have days in which they explore
50
trans web series, transmedia, and watch related movies.While each discussion group is meant to last 2 hours, the participants enjoy the space so much that they often go over. Fusion is the biggest group of the three, hosting between 15 and 20 people every week. It acts as a discussion group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, and asexual people of color; it meets every other Thursday. Among the topics the groups discuss are coming out, love and relationships, living situations, intersections of identity, social movements, mental health, sexual safety, and things currently going on in the media. While the topics discussed at the groups can be deep, critical and complicated, Gray also wants it to be a space that is fun and exciting. Gray recognizes that there is a need to have these spaces on campus for groups who often feel left out and maybe don’t have a space for other people to connect with, especially when they are dealing with different intersections. “Not just sexuality but also talking about their gender identity, but also talking about their class status, and all of these different components
Features
which aren’t in a vacuum,” Gray said.
facilitators are. In the past these groups were facilitated mainly by staff, but recently A fourth discussion group is available for the model has changed. Two facilitators are graduate students. Open Doors is a student chosen for each group and Gray strives for organization at SU that partners with the it to be a partnership between a student and LGBT Resource Center. Open Doors meets a staff member. at the resource center at least once a month, but does not have a regularly scheduled day. The hope is that if another peer is facilitatThey meet depending on when it’s conveing there is some relatability because they nient for facilitators and participants. are in the same “world” as participants. Open Doors was created so that there could be a space for LGBTQ graduate students to meet one another and share in their mutual experiences. The group is very casual, veering from the traditional format of a discussion group into a space that is more about mixing with participants in a social atmosphere.
Student facilitators do not have to go through an application process, rather they are nominated by staff members based on their passion, consistency with the group and commitment to social justice.
Facilitators do not get trained before they begin, rather they work closely with their co‐facilitator to develop a style that works Fite said that at the moment, services that as they learn along the way. Since staff and center around queerness mostly stem from faculty facilitators tend to have experience the LGBT Resource Center, and the unileading groups they mainly work towards versity itself needs to work towards offering helping student facilitators feel comfortable this in other spaces since the current model with their role. is “pretty unsustainable.” While these groups have the same purpose, how they they run depends on who the 51
OutCrowd Spring 2016
Not All Bi Myself A brief history of bisexual artists, politicians, and celebrities by Lauren Hannah illustration by Taylor Hicks 52
Arts and Entertainment
B isexuality is neither a new
the land that spans between Iran and
nor a modern sexual orientation. It
India. Mahmud simultaneously had a
is not a product of sexual liberation,
wife and a male concubine. Both rela-
progressive attitudes, cultural rev-
tionships inspired the work of poets in
olutions, or even the contemporary
Ghanzi’s court. Ancient Greeks and Ro-
LGBTQ community. It has existed
mans did not associate sexuality with
since the beginning of time, which
binary labels, but rather understood
makes it surprising that it only came
romantic attraction to be subjective
to be acknowledged as a legitimate
in all situations. At the time, the only
sexual orientation during the past
factor determining the ethicality of a
50 years. If you don’t believe that
sexual interaction was the social status
we’ve been around since humans can
of both partners (i.e. free or enslaved).
remember, look for a biography of
Other historical household names that
the Sultan Mahmud of Ghanzi, who
are remembered as or rumored to be
reigned around the year 1000 over
53
OutCrowd Spring 2016 bisexual include Emperor Nero, Lord
years following World War II, “homo-
Byron, and William Shakespeare.
sexuals” were frequently institutionalized in places like the Rockland State
From the first moments of humans
Hospital in New York. Allen Ginsberg,
getting freaky with each other to our
a famous bisexual Beat poet, references
contemporary society, there have
the institution in his celebrated poem
been bisexual writers, poets, artists,
“Howl.”
musicians, philosophers, scholars, engineers, politicians, and people of every occupation you can name. There are several iconic people from the mid‐1900s you probably didn’t know were bisexual, and that is because the term “bisexual” is relatively new. The term “bisexual” was first used by neurologist Charles Gilbert Chaddock to describe attraction
"It is a result of cultural progress that allows us to discover, appreciate, and have an honest conversation about our unique romantic and sexual orientations."
to both sexes in a textbook revision in 1889, however it did not become widely used in this way until the mid‐20th century after Alfred Kinsey
Throughout the 1900s, bisexuality
(a bisexual man) devised the contro-
was rarely acknowledged, but always
versial Kinsey scale. The Kinsey scale
prevalent. Of course, famous people
suggested that all human sexualities
are only a small piece of the bisex-
fall on a sliding scale that ranges from
ual demographic, but I’ll introduce
entirely heterosexual to entirely ho-
household‐name bisexuals you prob-
mosexual. Prior to this, bisexual peo-
ably never knew were not straight (or
ple, if they chose to “come out,” would
not gay). The famous singer Eleano-
have been categorized as homosex-
ra Fagan, known by her stage name
uals, who were commonly thought
Billie Holliday, was openly bisexual
to have a mental illness. For twenty
throughout her career. English author
54
Arts and Entertainment Virginia Woolf also wrote of her love
Supermodels Gia Carangi and Grace
for both men and women. The famous Jones were both openly bisexual. French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir did openly identify herself as a
Although he did explicitly refer to
lover of both sexes, but still without
himself as gay in an interview (prior to
any specific label (not that any sexual- the general acknowledgement of bisexity needs to fit a label). Revolutionary
uality), Freddie Mercury of Queen had
human rights activist Malcolm X had
lovers of both genders.
relationships with men before finally marrying a woman. American movie
Moving into the past two decades, Drew
star James Dean was considered gay
Barrymore and Fergie were two of the
by most of his friends, but that didn’t
first American celebrities to openly
stop him from having affairs with
identify as bisexual. Thanks to social
women.
and mass media, most people know which current celebrities are bisexual – Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Kristin Stew-
“The term “bisexual” was first used by neurologist Charles Gilbert Haddock to describe attraction to both sexes in a textbook revision in 1889...”
art, etc. Frank Ocean, who came out as bisexual via social media in 2012, was one of the first Black male celebrities to identify with the label. It is important not to mistake all the recent celebrity coming‐out stories for an increase in the frequency of bisexuality in popular culture. It is a result of cultural progress that allows us to discover, appreciate,
Moving past the Sexual Revolution,
and have an honest conversation about
names you might not have recognized our unique romantic and sexual orienas “bi” include musician Lou Reed,
tations. I am grateful to live in an era
actors Marlon Brando and Alan Cum- when we are finally heard. ming and fashion designers Calvin Klein and Oscar de la Renta. 55
OutCrowd Spring 2016
56
OUT
Jasmyn Chacko
W
riting a coming out story has one
challenge that stands out: which time do I write about? People talk about coming out as if it’s a singular event, but the truth is that I have come out more times than I can remember. Since I don’t conform to the stereotypes (I neither have a septum piercing nor an undercut), people never question my sexuality until I give them a reason to. In fact, even friends who have seen me kiss girls hesitate to call me bisexual; that’s just what college girls do. Here’s a roadmap to my journey as I navigated my curiosity and the opinions of others.
photo by Erin Carter
The First’s On Me The first time I called myself bisexual was to
Unfortunately, the equally clichéd mi-
quoted Katy Perry (I kissed a girl and I
my brother’s girlfriend. It made no sense for
croagressions made their appearance
liked it), came out, and then planned a
her to be the first. We weren’t all that close,
too: “Is this an experimental college
party that would celebrate LGBTQ pride
but she was bisexual and so comfortable
phase? Would you have a girlfriend?”
and raise money for The Trevor Project.
with herself, which I found awe‐inspiring.
The Anticlimax
This was the most self‐love I have shown
I told her so bluntly that I even surprised myself.
Earlier Earlier: My uncertainty started my freshman year of college and lasted a year. My Google search history from that time exemplifies my painstaking questioning:
Telling my stepmom was one of the more unique pitstops in my trudge out of the closet. She believes most people are not strictly straight or gay,
my bisexual self and it was a big step for me to trust my Syracuse family to love me unconditionally.
What Now?
so I was confident she would accept
Some hard conversations still remain. My my sexuality; nonetheless, my stomach more conservative friends and my traditied up at the start of the conversation. tional Indian grandparents and relatives are I started fumbling over the words
still unaware of my little secret, but in time
that were heavy in my chest, weighed
I am optimistic they will know too. As for
down by my own shame and fear. “So
the new people I will encounter in my life,
I have something to tell you...I, um,
I question the need to come out to them.
I’m...bisexual.” She stared at me and
Coming out over and over and having the
didn’t even flinch. We both waited
sit‐down, mildly sweaty conversations were
for the other to say something. Finally
a critical part of my journey, but I now
she exclaimed, “Oh! That’s the news!
crave the feeling of my sexuality being just
This is a big deal for you!”
another fact to learn about me after the fact
the most to lose should they not accept
To the Masses
that I wear kids’ shoes and am obsessed
me. My nontraditional family is split into
I recently came out to about 100 people
with cats. I will be myself and let them
two households due to the divorce of my
simultaneously through Facebook – easily
figure it out, or just mention it nonchalant-
parents, which forces me to repeat the
the craziest thing I’ve done in a long time.
ly. I don’t need to explicitly tell you. It’s your
process of coming out more times than is
In addition to my close friends who already
fault for assuming.
ideal. Thankfully, both sides embraced me,
knew, they all received an invite to an
saying the clichés I wanted to hear. “We
event named “A Different Kind of Surprise
love you no matter who you bring home.”
Party.” In the description of the event, I
“How do you know if you are bi?” Now I feel more comfortable to reflect on past experiences of sexual curiosity; that girl that I wanted to “befriend” in high school now makes more sense.
The Hardest My parents and siblings prove to be the hardest to tell because I worry that I have
57
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