SPRING 2018 // ISSUE 20
20GAYTEEN HERE WE COME
The OutCrowd
studentorgs.syr.edu/outcrowd
Grae Gleason
MANAGING EDITOR
Ciera Moore
COPY EDITOR
Caroline Bennett
FEATURE EDITOR
Elly Wong
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR
Quincy Nolan
SEX & HEALTH EDITOR
Marta Lala
i
SOCIAL POLITICS EDITOR
Catherine Caruso
NARRATIVE EDITOR
Kate Fletcher
DESIGN DIRECTOR
Sam Whitney
PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR
Jo Johnson
ART DIRECTOR
Joleyne Herrera
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Ian Dorbu, Lashelle Ramirez, Haidyn
SPRING 2018
EDITOR IN CHIEF
ISSUE 20
@outcrowdmagsu
Buckler, Rachel Mitchell, Bridget Gismondi, Cameron Marek, Michelle Tiburcio
CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS
Sam Lee, Lauren Perry, Rachel Mitchell, Bridget Gismondi, Theo Horne, Sophia Hautala, Kaylie Larlee, Jamie Kiemle, Lashelle Ramirez
Honeysuckle WORDS BY Ian Dorbu
wait patiently for him to gently reposition my head to the angle he
as he decides which should be in the photograph and which simply
wants with long, soft fingers.
don’t make the cut. Clearing my throat, I get his attention simply, so
“Because you’re my beautiful rose hating boyfriend who loves
I can look him full in the face and say, “I hate roses.”
to be my subject and you love having evidence that you’re the
His cheeks, gently warming to the same shade as the flowers,
best-looking person in the world.” He pecks my nose before step-
over it.” He taps me on the nose with one with one of the silk flow-
means that I get a discount on all of my sets, so why not just get one
ers, the fabric rustling softly as he does. Tucking it into his back
completely free?”
pocket, he pulls two honeysuckles off of a branch and pushes them
“Not—”
into my hair. “Yes,” he says to my dismayed face, “I know I’m going
“Not entirely, yes, I know.” He smirks and the camera snaps in his
to have to pay for them.”
hand. “Gorgeous.”
“You’d better.” I crinkle my nose at him and watch as he backs
“I feel like I’ll get fired for this.” I freeze in spot a second before
away with his camera. Against the backdrop of an A. C. Moore, it
the camera clicks in his hand. “I’m not sure—” click! “—if this is tech-
seems odd for him to be positioning and asking me to pose. It’s
nically—” click! “allowed. Like you can—” click!
strange for him to be pointing his camera at me while my apron
Sinking back onto his heels, Andre adjusts the focus on the cam-
rests pooled on the floor next to my feet, the name tag labeling it
era. “Continue your thought, but have fun with it for me?” I remain
instead of me as Michael. “Why do I have to be your subject?” I half
in place until my coworker passing behind Andre is out of view be-
toss my head back and feel the positioned flowers and branches
fore immediately posing differently. I tilt my head back and barely
move. “You could have a thousand other people and I could go
smile at him. “Smizing, an interesting choice. You’re so cute when
back to work.”
you smize.”
“You ask that literally every time I ask to shoot you,” he returns to
“Thanks, it’s a talent.”
my side to fix the still swaying set pieces. I watch my reflection in
After another click, he sits back and tilts his head at the camera.
the lens of his camera, swaying slightly from side to side as he sets
“This one.” He smiles and nods a few times until he finally shows me.
everything back to how it was before my head tapped into it.
“Think it’ll make the cover?”
honeysuckle dimpled as he smiles and says, “I know, but they aren’t real, so get ping back and bending down. “Besides, you working here just
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
behind me. I watch him mutter to himself and pull face after face
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“And you say that every time I ask.” I tilt my head mockingly and THE OUTCROWD
I sit perfectly still and pliable as Andre positions me and the flowers
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable as a queer student on this campus, you’re not alone. Maybe it’s the way your peers and professors treat you, making your
letter from identity seem like a spectacle or a burden. Maybe it’s the way your RA recoiled when you asked about queer sexual health resources on campus, making it feel like your sexuality is something dirty and shameful. Maybe it’s the drunk guys on Frat Row that called you a fag on your walk home, making you quicken your pace and honestly fear for your safety. This campus wasn’t built for us, and we’re reminded of that fact constantly. Even the most out-and-proud queer people can feel demoralized having to navigate the Syracuse University campus. In this kind of environment, you find support wherever you can. You visit the LGBT Resource Center, explore local gay bars, and play Hayley Kiyoko and Kevin Abstract songs on repeat in hopes that a fellow lonely gay student in your dorm will hear it and come befriend you. If you’re lucky, you find a solid group of queer friends that make your time here at SU less of a struggle. Together you’ll create the welcoming spaces that SU failed to provide for queer students. You’ll make this campus a better place, one glorious gay step at a time. Grae Gleason EDITOR IN CHIEF
editor
4
Exploring Non-Binary Identity Narrative
The Ins and Outs of Anal Sex
24
40
Sex + Health
Cooking and Confusion
Places of Learning
Narrative
Feature
26
46
The Wolf in Lesbians Clothing
Queer Artists
Arts + Entertainment
Arts + Entertainment
Coloring Spread
Sex + Health
Art + Photo
12
30
Press A For Gay
Face the Change
Arts + Entertainment
Feature
16
34
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
How Healthcare Fails Queer Patients
3
28
52
Pronouns: Its Really Not That Hard
Beyond the Horizon
20gayteen
Narrative
Narrative
Narrative
18
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10
38
Contents
56
Know Your Rights
Coming Out Never Ends
Social Politics
Feature
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Exploring Non-Binary Identity WORDS BY Lashelle Ramirez PHOTOGRAPHY BY Lashelle Ramirez
pronouns they/them/theirs. The best way to describe my gender identity is that I like to physically present masculine but
THE OUTCROWD
my demeanor can be feminine. I would like to have no breasts
5
and a full-grown beard, and I would like my voice to be deeper. This
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
I
am female, non-binary (specifically genderfluid), and go by the
doesn’t necessarily mean that I am transgender. I have no interest in taking testosterone. I have no interest in passing as whichever binary gender. I genuinely want people not to make assumptions. I want them to be curious and not know whether I am male or female. Personally, I wouldn’t want to fully transition to a man, although I do admire cis men’s physical figures. I have to admit that having a larger muscle structure, a sharper jaw, facial hair, a flat chest, and even a penis sounds ideal, but I do not want the privileges that come with being a man. A man has more priority when it comes to jobs. A man can walk down the street at night without fearing for his life. A man is taken more seriously in society. We live in a world that revolves around patriarchy and I simply do not want to be another addition to that. All my life, I have the complete opposite of that and honestly, I’m okay with it. My everyday issue is that no matter how masculine I dress or act, people will still call me a woman or use the pronoun “she” when referring to me. Every time I go out with my partner, who is a cisgender woman , people call us ladies or girls. I am not she, he,
whichever one is closer. Restrooms are restrooms, they’re made for one function and that’s all that matters. I think the divide is simply ridiculous, and as long as it contains a toilet with some toilet paper, I’m going to use it. But, without a doubt, I get stares and comments that are uncalled for. I have had men tell me that I am in the wrong restroom and women feel an unbearable need to ask, “You’re a girl, right? Just a gay girl, right?” I completely understand that women otargeted by men, but if I was a man in the restroom minding my
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own business, why not let me be me?
“WHY NOT LET ME BE ME?” Being Latinx is another challenge especially because there isn’t a way to explain to my Spanish-speaking family that my pronouns are They/Them/Theirs. Not to say that there aren’t a lot of Spanish-speaking countries that use neutral terms; there are. However, Dominicans have never been introduced to gender neutral terms. It is foreign for them to hear about feminine/masculine word endings to be replaced with an ‘x.’ I am just a non-binary person who would really appreciate if society stopped making assumptions about everyone. For me, being non-binary is tough. It’s not something I decided to be. Since middle school, I have called myself genderfluid, but it wasn’t until my
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7 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
8
junior year of college that I realized how being called a girl and she/her/hers pronouns really affected me. I wasn’t aware that I
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“IT’S NOT SOMETHING I DECIDED TO BE” could refer to myself as non-binary or have people refer to me as they/them/theirs. I learned it all here at Syracuse University and I’m eternally grateful for that education and experience. Ever since I decided to incorporate these terms into my identity, I have felt better about myself, but I do struggle much more knowing how frustrating it can be to make people understand. I use my Instagram to talk about the experiences I have. I also use it to be completely authentic about how I feel in my body and share how I personally dismantle social gender norms. My artwork helps me cope with gender dysphoria and society’s ignorance. Hopefully, my photography will be able to tap into the minds of cisgenders and educate them about gender identities.
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9 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
How the Healthcare System Fails Queer Patients WORDS BY Haidyn Buckler
A
merican sexual education is focused primarily, if not entirely, on straight sex. Without proper education, queer people are left to figure out everything from dental dams to PrEP on our
own. Some of us may even not learn about safe queer sex at all. Given
SPRING 2018
this stigma around queer sexual education and health, it’s no wonder that the American healthcare system continues to fail queer patients. Unfortunately, proper healthcare is yet another aspect of our lives that
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we must fight for.
x HIV Education
It has been shown that young men who have sex with men
x Asking the Wrong Questions
Many physicians do not ask the proper sexual health questions
receive less HIV education than young men who have sex with
of their queer patients, and often times do not even ask at
women. This is incredibly problematic, as young men who
all. A little less than half of queer patients, in a survey by
have sex with men have a higher risk of contracting HIV than
Bespoke Surgical, responded that their doctors had not asked
young men who have sex with women. In a survey, 84% of men
them about HPV, anal pap smears, exposure to STDs, or if they
who have sex with men reported receiving HIV education,
had received PrEP. When doctors do ask these questions, they
versus the 90% of men who have sex with women. However,
ask bisexual patients more often than patients of any other
men who have sex with men accounted for approximately 95%
orientation. This may very well be based on the stereotype
of HIV diagnoses. Even though it has been proven that HIV
that bisexual people are more promiscuous or have more sex
education lessens risky behavior, the most at-risk population
than others. This lack of appropriate sexual health questioning
receives less HIV education.
indicates a more severe underlying issue.
in receiving health insurance. About 50% of transgender
patients. Jasper Sparrow, in an article entitled “I’ve
people do not have health insurance. In addition, many trans
Contracted
From
people who do have public or private health insurance find
Rimming - And I Can’t Be the Only Gay Man Suffering,”
My
Third
that their plans exclude anything related to transgender
describes how his doctors didn’t know how to properly
healthcare (hormone replacement, surgery, therapy, etc.).
warn patients about potentially contracting parasites
About 20% of trans individuals have been turned away from
through anilingus.
a doctor based on their gender identity. This makes it no
Sparrow and his partner contracted gastrointestinal
surprise that about 1 in 4 trans people delay their own medical
parasites several times due to rimming. At one point,
care for fear of being discriminated against or turned away.
Sparrow’s
different
Those who do find themselves in a doctor’s office face their
antibiotics while only prescribing his partner one. He says
own onslaught of issues. 50% of trans patients have to educate
that he and his partner’s physicians “seemed to be guessing
their providers on their identity. And doctors very often try
at how to treat it,” as if they were “unfamiliar … with the
to pinpoint being transgender as the cause of any and all
standard protocol for treatment.” Unfortunately, many
ailments. Oh, you’re in pain? Must be those hormones you’re
queer patients have similar stories to tell, not necessarily
on. Robyn Kanner, one of the founders of MyTransHealth, says,
of gastrointestinal parasites, but of doctors not knowing
“I was worried that they would blame my stomach problems
how to properly treat queer patients’ issues or educate
on my hormones and make me stop taking them. It becomes
them about these issues.
this thing you build up in your head.”
physician
Gastrointestinal
prescribed
him
Parasite
two
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
doctors have no idea how to properly treat their queer
One important issue that many trans patients face is difficulty
11
This lack of appropriate questioning suggests that many
x Transgender Healthcare
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x Lack of Knowledge
Press
A
for
Gay
Is there a cheat code that lets my character be trans?
WORDS BY Quincy and Ian Laih-Nolan
V
ideo games are notorious for being homophobic, transphobic, and all around not the most queer friendly. Let’s break it down and look at
some of the representation, good or otherwise, that our community has seen throughout the industry.
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ILLUSTRATION BY Jamie Kiemle
Overwatch Overwatch is the first person shooter from Blizzard Entertainment that has really redefined the genre. One of the main things that sets this game apart is its vast character roster and each one of their cinematic back stories. The “face” of the game, Tracer, is an openly lesbian woman. Her queerness is not hidden or implicit in the least. With the game growing the way it is, by the time you’re reading this, there are probably more cannon queers on the roster.
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Breath of the Wild was the most awarded game of 2017 and the most highly anticipated title being released on the Nintendo Switch. While exploring Hyrule you meet a lady outside Geurudo Town where no man is allowed to step foot in. This women helps you dress yourself as a woman to get past the guards. It is then revealed that the person who helped you is not a biological female but is identifying as a woman. Although, there have been mixed ple strongly connected with.
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reviews of this representation, it was a moment many queer peo-
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Undertale is the very well-received role playing game created by indie developer Toby Fox. The protagonist of the story, officially named Frisk, is an androgynous child that allows the player to identify as female, male, or non-binary. Other characters like Nabastablook, Chara, and Monsterkid are said to be non-binary as well. In the game, you also meet Undyne and Alphys. Undyne is the head of a royal guard, a badass fish warrior, and a lesbian. Alphysis a female reptilian monster who is in love with Undyne as well as the Royal Scientist. Her attraction to a variety of characters suggest that she is bisexual.
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
Undertale
Life
is
Strange
Life is Strange is an action adventure game following protagonist Max Caulfield, who discovers she has the ability to rewind time at will. Depending on how you choose to play the game, Max gets romantically involved with her friend Chloe Price. You also have the option to kiss your male partner, Warren. Chloe, however, is a canon lesbian and is on the quest to find her missing girlfriend, Rachel
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Amber. We love strong queer women, don’t we ladies?
Stardew
Valley
Stardew Valley is a classic farming adventure, just like the good old days of Harvest Moon, except this time you get to customize your character however you see fit! You’re still limited to male or female for character choice, but that’s an improvement over Harvest Moon where you could only choose a male character. You are able to befriend and romance any of the town’s eligible bachelors or bachelorettes. From the recluse poet Elliott to the mysterious Abigail, it doesn’t matter how you identify when you are romancing these characters. Some characters even make explicit notice of their queerness. If you romance the young aspiring “Gridball” player Alex as a male identifying character for example, he will say that he is was unsure if he could feel this way to another guy, but is happy with you.
Chrono
Trigger
Hitting the shelves in 1995, Chrono Trigger is one of the highest rated RPGs to ever exist and broke boundaries way beyond its time. This SNES success features a major villain named Flea. Flea is gender nonconforming magical being who self-declared, “Male or female, what difference does it make? Power is beautiful, and I’ve got the power.” Truly iconic.
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titles to come to mind but did you know the lovable plumber runs into some queer characters on his journeys? Birdo can be found throwing eggs at your head or participating in a variety of different party games and, according to the manual of Super Mario Bros 2, is a “male who believes that he is female.” Some problematic rhetoric there, but it doesn’t change the fact that she is a gender-defying pioneer in the video game world. The Paper Mario spin-offs find Mario battling Bowser and his friends in a unique 2D RPG. In the Japanese version of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door when you encounter the Shadow Siren named Vivian her character description reads, “One of the shadow group, Vivian appears to be a girl but is really a boy.” Again, not the best choice of words, but it doesn’t take away from her gender-bending presence.
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
When you think of video games Mario might be one of the first
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Mario
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Pronouns: It’s Really Not That Hard WORDS BY Rachel Mitchell
W
ithin the past few years, there has been a surge of at-
male at birth, the baby will be referred to with she/her/hers pro-
tempts to normalize pronoun announcements, rang-
nouns. She will likely be dressed in pink and given kitchen sets and
ing from writing pronouns on name tags to sharing
baby dolls to play with.
them during icebreakers. However, the rhetoric surrounding pro-
Children grow up in this highly gendered world and are taught
nouns is still confusing and sometimes hard to follow. There are
to remain within their assigned gender role. This process iso-
“preferred pronouns,” “chosen pronouns,” or the more simplistic
lates individuals who might not necessarily fit into this highly
“pronouns.” With all of this varying rhetoric, it can be difficult to
enforced binary. For transgender and non-binary people, their
know what to say regarding one’s gender. In this case, the sim-
existence becomes one of resistance, a fight that they did not
plest answer is the best. Both “preferred pronouns” and “chosen
sign up for. Pronouns are a small battle within that larger move-
pronouns” imply that a person’s pronouns are a preference rather
ment for the trans and non-binary community. Being referred
than fact.
to by the correct pronouns not only validates one’s identity, but
But, let’s get one thing straight. Pronouns are not a preference;
also creates visibility for others with similar struggles.
they are a part of one’s identity. They are not chosen, but more so,
Disclaimer: I am a queer cisgender womxn. Much of my experi-
reclaimed. Pronouns are often assigned at birth, just like biologi-
ence with transgender identities comes from being with my partner,
cal sex. If a baby is assigned male at birth, that baby is referred to
who is non-binary and goes by the pronouns they/them/theirs.
with he/him/his pronouns. Often times, this baby will be dressed
When we met, my partner was coming into their own. They went by
in blue and given “boy” toys to play with. If a baby is assigned fe-
she/her/hers. Not because that’s who they were, but because that’s
ing them from friends and family can be even worse. My fa-
the pronouns they/them/theirs, both they and I were happier. I
ther is an old white man in his 60s, and although he accepts
could see them flourishing in their newfound confidence, no longer
our relationship, he is the worst when it comes to my part-
shaded by pronouns that went against their true self.
ner’s gender identity. His first argument was that “‘They’ isn’t
At first, I slipped up a lot. I found it impossible to switch the pro-
grammatically correct.” Newsflash, you’re wrong. According to
nouns in my head because it had become a habit to call my part-
Merriam-Webster, the use of “they” as a singular pronoun has
ner “she.” I felt endlessly guilty for my microaggressions, because
been around since the 1300s. When you’re sitting in class and
I could see how each one would add to my partner’s frustration
see that a bag remains without its owner, you say, “someone
and make them feel othered. Over time, I was able to switch up
left their backpack!” Similarly, someone who doesn’t conform
the language in my head, and it became second nature to use the
to gender norms also left their backpack. Through months of
right pronouns. My relationship with my partner has provided me
correction, explanation, and purposeful misgendering of my fa-
with a unique perspective regarding pronouns and has turned me
ther (he doesn’t like it when we call him ma’am), he has finally
into a vicious pronoun-defender. Do not call my partner a lady. Do
gotten to a point of self-correction. Although he often slips up,
not call my partner she. It’s really not that hard! If I can do it after
he will fumble with his words trying not to say “girl” or “she,”
months of dating someone, you can too.
which is progress.
Just like pronouns are often assigned at birth, they are also as-
That said, we still need to do better. Pronouns are a simple
sumed throughout life. I cannot begin to explain how many times
change in language that can validate our peers, friends, profes-
my partner and I are greeted with “Hey, ladies!” upon entering a
sors, coworkers, and neighbors. By normalizing pronoun an-
room. At first, I would get nervous and try to support my partner
nouncements for everyone, we can create a space for non-binary
through friendly and apologetic eye contact. It’s safe to say this was
and trans people to share their pronouns without feeling isolated.
essentially useless. Then, I moved on to asking “Woah, what made
It is not non-binary and trans peoples’ job to inform us of their
you say ladies?” This question rarely resulted in an awakening of
pronouns. They should not be the only people in class who share
any sort from the gender assumer. After a while, I became angry.
their pronouns with the room. Ultimately, cis people need to
These microaggressions were so harmful to my partner, and so easy
challenge our assumptions and actively do the mental work that
to forget on the behalf of the stranger. I am now at a calmer point in
it takes to decolonize our minds from the norms that society has
my journey of being an ally, although I do have the occasional slip
built, like walls, between us. To my trans and non-binary readers:
up when it’s the fifth time we’ve heard “she” or “hey ladies” in the
you are valid, you are visible. And call me if you ever need an ally
span of five minutes.
to ruffle some cisheteronormative feathers!
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
really are to the world, a non-binary, genderfluid individual with
17
Microaggressions are bad enough from strangers, but hear-
THE OUTCROWD
who they were told to be. Once they decided to announce who they
Know Your Rights WORDS BY Bridget Gismondi
Since the Stonewall riots in 1969, LGBTQ activists have made significant gains in the advancement of queer and trans people’s rights both within the United States and around the world. How far have we really come though, and how far do we still need to go? Here’s an update on where the legal rights of LGBTQ people stand around the world in 2018.
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*Data as of March, 2018
What is the Global Stance on... The Criminalization of Homosexuality?
Homosexuality is Legal
Homosexuality is Ilegal
Unknown
Same-sex marriage?
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Legal
Illegal
19 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
Civil Unions, other types of recognized partnerships, other in betweens
Adoption by Same-sex Couples? Legal
Restrictions (eg Married couples only)
Illegal
Unknown
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Conversion Therapy?
Full National Ban
Opposed by National Health Organizaatons
Regional Bans
No National or Regional Bans
Changing Gender on Legal Documents? Legal, surgery not required
Illegal
Legal, surgery required
Unknown
LGBT Discrimination Protection?
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21 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
Employment
Full Protection
Some Protection
Housing
General
No Protection
What is the United States’ Stance on...
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LGBT Discrimination Protection?
Employment
Housing
Full Protection
Healthcare*
Hate Crimes **
No Protection
Some Protection
*Refers to trans inclusive healthcare **Full refers to protection for sexual orientation and gender identity; Some refers to protection for only sexual orientation
General**
Changing Gender on Legal Documents?
without Surgery
Will Not Amend Birth Certificate
Will Amend Birth Certificate with Surgery
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Will Amend Birth Certificate
23
Protects Youth from Conversion Therapy No Restrictions on Conversion Therapy
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
Conversion Therapy?
Cooking and Confusion: The Complexity of Pansexuality * Note: “Women” is spelled with an x to
WORDS BY Rachel Mitchell ILLUSTRATION BY Kaylie Larlee
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remain inclusive
Pansexuality is viewed as one of the most difficult sexualities to
I went, until he chalked any partner or relationship up to “Rachel’s
comprehend when in reality it might be the easiest. We like every
doing what Rachel does.”
gender . “Really, every gender?” Yes! Every gender! Being a pansex-
My older cousin had the hardest time coming to terms with my
ual means looking beyond one’s gender or sex. This isn’t to say that
sexuality because of its “complexity” I tried to explain it to her by
you might not have a preference as a pansexual, but pansexuality
emphasizing that many gender identities are not encompassed.
is defined as “not limited in sexual choice with regard to biologi-
into bisexuality, and that I focused less on the label but more on the
cal sex, gender, or gender identity.” The root “pan” stems from the
inclusivity. Whether she sees me as pansexual or “the cousin who
Greek language and translates to “all.” So yes, we like it ALL.
is open to dating individuals of any gender identity or physical sex”,
Coming out as pansexual is a real treat. Not only do you come out
I just wanted her to understand. This is where it got tricky. She
of the closet, but you sort of go in and out of it a few times like you
understood my willingness to date any sort of individual, but insist-
keep forgetting parts of your outfit in the morning. I came out to
ed that I was just a very open-minded bisexual. I fought to explain
my father by telling him I had a crush on a girl. He was supportive
that if there are more than two genders, and I am open to them all,
for the most part until months later when I told him I had a crush
that inherently I cannot be bisexual. However, she was tripped up
on a boy again. At that point I was the “confused straight girl look-
at the gender identity bit and so I lost her. This is a simple example
ing to experiment.” My next relationship with a womxn made even
of a widespread pansexual problem: the gender identities of our
less sense to him, and after a while we had to have “the talk.” No,
partners should not make or break our identity!
not the safe sex talk. The “I’m pansexual, which is a fancy term for
I was never validated as a pansexual by my father, cousin,
saying your daughter likes everyone” talk. In and out of the closet
or anyone else until I started dating my current partner, who is
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non-binary or trans people; then their transphobia shows up and
introduced my new partner to the world, suddenly my pansexu-
their time with me comes to an end. Cis womxn tend not to care so
ality didn’t translate to bisexuality anymore. Dating someone who
much about the labels, but view my relationships with womxn as a
“So you’re like, bi?” “Pan, like…to cook with?”
fling rather than something serious. I’ve had partners tell me that I “really just want to be with a man,” implying that I’m just a confused straight girl looking for some excitement. The best one is when I’m not queer enough. “Well you’ve been with cis men and you’re a cis womxn, so…” So what? I literally like any gender identity, sexual orientation, and genitalia under the sun, and I’m not queer enough?
didn’t fit into the categories of either “man” or “womxn” miracu-
I’ve grown to reject most labels, because I’m sure of who I am
lously helped it all made sense to them. This sparked a sort of frus-
and who I like. Still, conversations get frustrating when people do
tration within me, because my partner’s gender identity should not
not know of or understand my sexuality. I can understand
determine my sexuality. Whether I am single, with a cis man or
a simple linguistic misunderstanding, since pansexuality isn’t a
womxn, non-binary individual, trans person, or with someone in
well-known term. Some languages do not include a similar term,
between, I am always Rachel, and I am always pansexual.
and some cultures don’t have a similar identity. However, the com-
It’s hard enough when society doesn’t see your sexuality as valid,
plete lack of comprehension always baffles me. It seems so simple,
but it’s even worse when your own partners don’t. Cis men think
so particular, so basic. I like everything.
it’s a kink and sexualize it, until they hear that I’ve been with
Yes, really, everything.
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
non-binary and goes by the pronouns they/them/theirs. Once I
ISSUE 20
26
SPRING 2018
The Wolf in Lesbian's Clothing Is that cute girl in your art class sapphic, or just a hipster? Is that cute girl in your art class sapphic, or just a hipster?
WORDS BY Bridget Gismondi
Is that cute girl in your art class sapphic, or just a hipster? L adies, let me set the stage for you. Imagine you’re at a par-
across America. It prowls at parties, at concerts, at clubs, at cof-
ty, and from across the room you spot a girl. She is pulling
fee shops, and especially in any class in VPA. This most terrifying of
out all the gay stops: undercut, septum piercing, really cool
dangers is the straight hipster. She dons the traditional lesbian garb
tattoos, combat boots, and of course, a flannel shirt. You approach
to lull a poor queer woman into a sense of false security, then at a
key sapphic, moment strikes with aggressive heterosexuality. This cruel Is that cute girl in your art class orher just a hipster?
her, seeking some reprieve from the sea of straights you have found
yourself in. Not to mention, she’s really cute so you might as well see
beast’s main mission is to disrupt our most important strategic dating
how things pan out. You two chat. She mentions a boyfriend. Your
tool, gaydar, by stealing iconic lesbian looks and re-branding them
possible date idea goes out the window, but the possibility of a new
as the hipster style. The straight hipster is most dangerous against
queer friend remains. But things get worse from there. You ask about
those with a less refined sense of gaydar who must rely on more ob-
her thoughts on the latest Hayley Kiyoko music video. She gives you
vious cues. As hipster fashion becomes more and more mainstream,
a blank stare. Okay, maybe not everyone has received the good word
the number of straight hipsters increase, diluting the once incredibly
of the lesbian messiah Hayley Kiyoko, but now you have the opportu-
potent gay vibes of lesbian style.
nity to introduce it to her. She seems ambivalent at best about your
So fair reader, how can you avoid becoming ensnared in a straight
description of Hayley Kiyoko’s work as “so good and so, so gay.” It is
hipster’s deadly trap? When confronted with a woman of indeter-
in this moment you that you realize, this is not a sapphic girl. This
minate sexual orientation, the naïve gaydy (gay lady, singular) might
is a wolf in lesbian’s clothing! You have been duped and deceived by
think that simply flirting and gauging her response might be a good
a dastardly straight! Oh, how could you have been beset by such a
way to weed out the straight girls from the queer girls. However, this
calamity?
method presents many risks. The straight hipster has a variety of at-
Women-loving women, beware! A threat to the gaydies (gay lady,
tack methods, each inflicting different severities of emotional dam-
plural) stalks our fair university campus, and other campuses all
age. She may simply not even pick up on your flirtations and think
The Wolf in Lesbian's Clothing
If she does lean more towards feminine presentation, hope is not
gressively, acting violently disgusted by your homosexual deviance.
entirely lost but you will have to proceed with caution to the next
She may also respond with a sympathetic but respectful rejection
step. Drop subtle probes into your conversation. Mention some gay
along the lines of, “Sorry, but I’m straight.” Now, this may seem like
icons—Carly Rae Jepsen, Lady Gaga, our lord and savior Hayley Ki-
the ideal response but it is insidious in that it makes you look like the
yoko, hell, throw in Tegan and Sara if you want to be real obvious.
ass in the situation and now you can’t even be mad at her for her con-
Ask her if she’s seen some queer media such as Carol or the One Day
of questions will draw out fellow gays
ing such a risky approach, one should
like flies to honey but will only obtain
instead avoid rejection all together by
a harmless confusion from a straight
attempting to determine her orienta-
hipster. Some straight hipsters will be
tion without asking directly or outing
extra tricky by knowing of queer media
one’s self.
but only supporting it in an ally kind of
The first step you should take in this
way. Being able to discern whether her
process is a more thorough analysis of
interest is because she is queer or is
her look. Do her tattoos contain any Ve-
purely because she believes in diverse
nus symbols? Do the pins on her denim
media representation will be crucial. If
jacket have any pride flags or other fun
she mentions how much she loves the
gay messages? While there is a possi-
sapphic couple on a show or how much
bility she’s an ally who’s also really into
a queer character means to her, you’ve
female empowerment, these additions
probably got a fellow gaydy on your
greatly increase the likelihood that
hands. If she talks about how happy she
you have encountered another queer.
is to see good representation and how
Straight hipsters tend to remain somewhat on the more feminine
she thinks it is important in a manner that seems removed or not
side of the presentation spectrum, not embracing the potential for
emotionally invested, you have found a straight hipster.
androgynous or masculine presentation that traditional lesbian garb
If you follow this advice my friends, you should be able to avoid the
has. If the person you have encountered does lean more on the an-
most painful of deceits straight hipsters perpetrate. Stay safe, and
drogynous or masculine side of the fashion, congratulations! You
tune in next week when we let you know what to do when the butch
have probably encountered some kind of queer person, but from
lesbian you were flirting with is actually a twink who thought you
here you’ll have to verify whether or not they identify as female.
were also a twink.
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
at a Time Netflix revival. These kinds
gosh darn nice about it. Instead of tak-
27
fusing presentation because she was so
THE OUTCROWD
olf in that you are a particularly nice straight girl. She may respond ag-
ISSUE 20
28 SPRING 2018
THE OUTCROWD
29 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
ILLUSTRATION BY Rachel Mitchell
Face the Change WORDS BY Grae Gleason
ISSUE 20
30
SPRING 2018
PHOTOGRAPHY BY Sophia Hautala
New staff at SU’s LGBT Resource Center seek to center marginalized students THE OUTCROWD
31
fany Gray as she left her position as Director of SU’s LGBT Resource Center in order to take a new director position at the West Chester University’s LGBTQA Center. Then
on January 5th, Brittany “BCash” Cashatt served their last day as Associate Director of SU’s LGBT Resource Center. Additionally, Abby Fite, Program Coordinator for the LGBT Resource Center, will be leaving her position at the end of the 2017-2018 school year. With two leaders gone and another on the way out, Rob Pusch took over as Interim Director of the LGBT Resource Center while staff members searched for a new director. During this search, the LGBT Resource Center’s search committee sought input from SU students about what their expectations were for a new Resource Center Director. In addition to sending out surveys to students, the LGBT Resource Center also sought student input by holding open forums for SU’s LGBT community to meet with candidates for the Director position. The forums occurred on January 30th with Director candidate and then Assistant Dean and Director of LGBTQ Initiatives at Colgate University, khristian kemp-delisser, and on February 1st with Samuel Byrd, Resident
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
O
n November 2nd, 2017, a farewell reception honored Tif-
Director for the UNITY House Theme Program at University of California, Berkeley. Finally, on February 20th the LGBT Resource Center announced kemp-delisser as the new Resource Center Director. Having started as Director on April 2nd, kemp-delisser has said, “In my time returning to campus and meeting with the passionate students, faculty and staff involved with the center, I was energized and excited to return to my alma mater to begin working with the University community to support, educate and celebrate LGBTQQIA identities and students with marginalized genders and sexualities.” When asked about the search for a new Resource Center Director, Joanne Wang, Graduate Assistant for the LGBT Resource
ISSUE 20
32
SPRING 2018
Center, discussed the qualities that the LGBT Resource Center’s
It was important that we found someone who was able to prioritize students of color...and really know how to work with those populations search committee prioritized during the search for a new director. “It was important that we found someone who was able to prioritize students of color, queer students of color specifically, and really know how to work with those populations, how to best serve those populations, and really had that as a top priority,” Wang said. Abby Fite, Program Coordinator of the LGBT Resource Center, echoed these sentiments. While emphasizing the importance of prioritizing queer students of color and other marginalized groups within the LGBTQ community, Fite also discussed how important it was for the Center to find a director who understands college campuses. “I think it’s important for a director to have had experience serving LGBTQ students on a college campus in the past. I think it’s important for a new director to have had experience navigating institutional politics. So, being able to serve as a fierce advocate for queer and trans students, even when doing so is somewhat unpopular… I think we found all of that with khristian,” Fite said.
With the new director in mind, some members of SU’s LGBTQ community have begun discussing changes that could be made to improve the LGBT Resource Center. One central theme in these discussions is the need for increased accessibility at the Center. Specifically, Fite has highlighted the Center’s inaccessibility for some wheelchair users. “We do have a ramp, but it’s in the back of the building and to access it you have to climb a really steep driveway at Off-Campus and Commuter Services. Sometimes that driveway is icy, and sometimes it’s full of cars, and so it’s inaccessible. Once you come into the center, our bathroom...is not accessible to a lot of folks who use wheelchairs. The room itself is extremely small, so that’s really unfortunate because we’re committed to intersectional social excludes some folks with disabilities,” Fite said. As Fite points out, the Center’s inaccessibility clashes with its social justice mission and inherently excludes LGBTQ community members with disabilities. Furthermore, the location of the LGBTQ in on this issue, discussing the pros and cons of the Center’s Os “I like the space that we have. I think it’s a really comfy environment, very inviting environment overall. But I also recognize that, one: it’s not really wheelchair accessible. It’s on the outskirts of campus, so it’s hard to get to unless you live in Dellplain, Ernie, or Shaw. And it feels kind of separated from the rest of the university. Like we’re in our own little queer bubble, doing queer things on the edges of campus,” Wang said. While addressing the location and accessibility issues is a significant task, there may be hope as the LGBT Resource Center enters a new era with director kemp-delisser. This is a time when students can help lead the Center and SU’s LGBTQ community into a new direction.
For students looking to get involved, consider joining student organizations such as Pride Union or Qolor Collective, or getting in contact with the University Senate Committee on LGBT Concerns.
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
trom Avenue location.
33
Resource Center can also lead to accessibility issues. Wang weighs
THE OUTCROWD
justice and theory, and yet we’re located in a space that inherently
Beyond the Horizon
ISSUE 20
34
SPRING 2018
WORDS BY Ian Dorbu
I
stretch my arms out from under the shade of the awning.
make the call once every five minutes, twice if I’m feeling ambitious
The barely present edge of winter in the early spring air
or desperate.
dissipates in the sunlight. I turn my arm back and forth in the
The merchant to my left laughs. “You and your crystals, boy.
light, watching my bracelet drink in the warmth. The market sings
I’ve seen your father come and retire, and his father before him,
its organized and predictable song around my little stall, my own
all hawkin’ those crystals, fine ones, powerful ones, crystals from
personal island on the archipelago of other stalls and merchants.
beyond the horizon!” He chuckles good-naturedly again.
“Crystals!” I cry to the churning sea of possible clients, my tongue
“One of these days you’ll abandon those crystals and settle down,
slipping into the familiar pattern worn into my head by my father,
meet a man, fall in love, and finally start to make some money.” He
and his before him, and him, and her, and her, and him. “Fine
slaps his chest. “My lad’s free, single, ripe to be married. Better
crystals! Powerful crystals! Crystals from beyond the horizon!” I
pluck him up quick before someone else does; he’s been drawing
find the cry cheesy and unnecessary, but for the sake of tradition, I
the eyes of men and women for miles.”
“Don’t listen to Maurice, lad, his boy’s your age and a half and
begin to blend into one another like sand into water. “Give ’im a
already got snow growing in his thick black hair.”
minute, boy, he’s never here exactly as the bells end.” Boris’ voice
“At least men from my family have hair!” Maurice shoots. “Cover
shakes me back into my body.
that mirror you’ve got on your head, Boris, I’m goin’ blind!”
“Then he’s not worth anything,” Maurice bellows. “If he’s not
I laugh along with Maurice before sitting down in the chair near
waiting on you, what’s the point of even caring about him?”
the middle of the stall, the afternoon light just barely managing to
“Caring about whom?” My voice is breathier than I intend, almost
make it over the lip of the main crate holding the crystals. I kick
sighing out of my body.
my legs up and wait for the bells to chime out a few songs and
Maurice hums discontentedly. “I see the way you smile and simper
the hour, spinning alternate lyrics to the tune. I crane my head
at that amber boy.” Just as he speaks, the boy flickers across my
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
interest. After years of standing at this post day after day, faces
35
forward and look across the mass of people with gently focused
The merchant on my right cuts in, a weaselly, drawn sort of man.
THE OUTCROWD
“What? And smell like fish with your son for the rest of his days?”
SPRING 2018
36 ISSUE 20
vision, a cloud of brown coils framing a brown face with a pert and
The beauty of the stone steals my attention for a second before I
mischievous mouth. A stray breeze shifts his saffron cloak around his
remember what I need to tell him. “I’m sorry, but I haven’t received
body like a flame, the amber surmounting his cloak clasp gleams, and
a new shipment of amber yet.” After a moment, I chuckle nervously
the manufactured sun pin steals the light of the one in the sky for its
and say, “You took the last of it with you yesterday.”
own. “And here he is. Oi, keep it short today, eh? Play hard to get.”
He shrugs without a concern. “I feared as much.”
I wave my hand at him before turning to the boy. “Avery, you’ve
“Would you like anything else?” I smile and gesture to the larger
returned,” I manage to work out, trying my hardest to hide my
stones standing by my chair. “Any of them would be worth that
eyebrows crinkling together at my own stupidity.
beauty,” I point to the rose quartz, prettier than the other ones he’s
His dimples flash when he smiles and says, “Yes, I’ve returned.
traded me.
Here you are.” He reaches into a pouch at his waist and draws out a
“Oh, no, that isn’t in exchange for amber, that’s a gift.” My
shining rose quartz, placing it on the counter in front of me.
eyebrows come together again, openly. “I don’t need to tell
I pause and point to the stone, my hearing going fuzzy as I do.
as understanding blooms on my face. “I have to go beyond the
“What this symbolizes - I don’t want a symbol of your heart. If I’m
horizon,” he tells me. “I need to find fine crystals, powerful
joining you on this, I want the real thing.”
crystals. Would you know anyone who could help me?”
“But Brem, don’t you know? You already have it.” My cheeks
“One person, maybe,” I tilt my head from side to side,
grow hot and I smile goofily at him. “See you at the docks at
thinking of the cost of closing my shop for a time, and then
first light, we’re set for a ship called The Hesperides. Sounds
silencing the cautious voice saying no when I think of the
mystical, right? Thought you’d enjoy that. Oh, and Brem?” I nod.
possible adventure and when I see the gentle, beautiful way
“Don’t forget your sword. I can’t be the only one armed on this
the light plays over his lips. “But it might cost more than just
adventure.” He winks and walks away, my gaze still transfixed on
a rose quartz.”
his bouncing hair.
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
why I’ve only traded rose quartz with you?” My jaw goes slack
37
He nods, smiling again, broad and happy. “Name your price.”
THE OUTCROWD
you the meaning behind it, I’m sure, but haven’t you wondered
ISSUE 20
38 SPRING 2018
WORDS BY Quincy Nolan PHOTOGRAPHY BY Sam Lee
The Ins and Outs of Anal Sex
sexually. For an increasingly large number of people, this includes
and error. Let’s break that barrier and start the discussion about
a discussion about anal sex. If you and your partner(s) are thinking
everyone’s least favorite part of anal sex.
about becoming sodomites, here are a few things to consider.
Nobody wants to feel gross during sex or have any sort of messy
When exploring something new in bed, the first thing you should
accident, so clearing out everything before you go at it is the best
always do is have an open and honest conversation with your part-
way to ensure a surprise-free encounter. You can find all kinds of
ner. Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re hooking up with
enemas online anywhere from $7 to $40+. Do some research. Find
someone you just met, it is crucial to always keep communication
the one that will work the best for you and your needs. If you’re
flowing and to set boundaries that everyone is comfortable with.
planning to be sexually active and include anal play in the rotation,
Set up rules and safe words to ensure the sex is as enjoyable as
a decent enema is definitely worth investing in. Some say that if you
possible for all parties involved.
eat a healthy, high fiber diet you should be okay to get fucked with-
So, you’ve decided to try anal. If you are bottoming (the one get-
out douching, but it’s not a bad idea to have an enema on standby
ting penetrated) you’re going to want to do some ass maintenance.
just to make sure.
If you want to remove any hair down there, there are a few routes
Still, douching is optional and can have its downsides. One cri-
you can take. Shaving is always an option, but just be very careful
tique of anal douching is that it can irritate the lining of the rectum.
not to cut yourself or get too close to your rose bud. Another op-
This irritation can make it a lot easier to contract HIV, which only
tion is to use Nair hair removal cream. You’re going to want to put
emphasizes the need to practice safe sex.
your finger right over your asshole and cover the rest of the ass
A lot of people are under the impression that because they are
area with the cream, but be very cautious of the warnings on the
having anal sex that they don’t need to use a condom. This is the
bottle of the product. Do not leave it on your skin for too long and
worst misconception. The best way to protect yourself from HIV
make sure you rinse it off thoroughly. Hair removal is not com-
and other STDS is to use lots of water-based lube and always always
pletely necessary, but some people prefer it. This is another im-
always use a condom. You should use nothing besides water-based
portant conversation to have with your partner.
lubricants in your asshole. Also, every top ever thinks they can get
So, once you’ve got your downstairs the way you want it, the next
away with just using spit, but I’d urge you not to let them do that. If
step is DOUCHING. I know it’s not easy to talk about, but that’s
for no other reason, it is flu season.
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
most people are left to figure it out for themselves through trial
39
exactly the problem. We don’t discuss douching enough, and then
aries of pleasure, for many people college is a time to experiment
THE OUTCROWD
Whether it’s having sex for the first time or exploring the bound-
ISSUE 20
40
SPRING 2018
There are untold numbers of kids who are not so much in the closet as they are simply in the dark
PLACES OF LEARNING WORDS BY Cameron Marek PHOTOGRAPHY BY Theo Horne
THE OUTCROWD
41 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
SPRING 2018
ho gives a shit?”
42
purpose was outright and unapologetic dis-
ISSUE 20
crimination against anyone Christian business
got prom king. As soccer team captain I was implored by a
owners chose. In class that day, the prime objective of the lesson
teammate to kick a senior with Asperger’s off the team because
was to convince us of the necessity to refuse service to gay cus-
“If you suck that much you shouldn’t be allowed to play.” The same
tomers, though not much convincing was necessary for most of
year I attempted to remove another player from the team for an
my peers. “If it’s a private business they can deny whoever they
anti-Semitic rant made on the team bus with the athletic director
want,” the same student blurted out at one point. While the second
present. No action was taken against the student, which is hard-
statement demonstrated that it wasn’t a very effective economics
ly shocking considering that on multiple occasions students drew
course (perhaps another day should have been spent learning about
swastikas and anti-Muslim drawings on chalkboards only for the
the Civil Rights Act), it was the first that eventually taught me the
principal to enter the room and chuckle as he erased them. The
lesson that I still think about today: high school terrified me into
same principal’s niece once asked me what I thought about Caitlyn
lying to myself.
Jenner “cutting his dick off.” A teacher told my entire class, “If your
I went to a microscopic private school completely independent of
Muslim friend hasn’t murdered you already, they’re not a real Mus-
the diocese, and was thus unregulated by standards governing most
lim.” No punishments were handed out in any of these incidents,
respectable private Catholic learning institutions. This manifested
but when one female student inquired about wearing ties to school,
itself in many outwardly observable ways, all to the detriment of
the entire governing faculty came down strongly against women
the students: teachers were unaccredited, safety regulations were
being allowed to wear “manly clothes.”
ignored (resulting in multiple serious injuries), and conflicts of in-
Unsurprisingly, I didn’t enjoy my time there very much. Yet
terest were hilariously obvious. What was truly draining, however,
somehow, I had a remarkable amount of success there. Despite ev-
was the everyday bigotry that no lack of paperwork or certificates
ery day being a mentally and morally exhausting onslaught of tired,
would have exposed.
closed-minded nonsense, I thrived academically. I was valedictori-
Hate doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but if it did that vacuum would
That’s what my close friend had to say to
probably sound a lot like my high school hallways. For every -ism or
anyone opposed to Indiana’s “Religious Free-
-phobia there’s likely a textbook example I could provide from my
dom Restoration Act,” a law whose practical
four years spent there. It was like everyone around me was competing in a game of bigotry bingo (Bingo-try™) and the winner
into a highly selective college (which likely did not know my class consisted of 25 people). By quantifiable measures, my high school tions, and yet now I look back on them as a period of great loss and late in the spring semester, that I realized why. I had left high school having never been in a romantic relationship. I went through the awkward motions of asking a girl to prom
It was like everyone around me was competing in a game of bigotry...and the winner got prom king a few times, mostly out of a passive sense of obligation and a desire to contribute to the sense of “normalcy” my peers and superiors seemed too desperate to maintain. I learned very little about my companions that I didn’t already know from every new instance of prejudice that manifested itself in my daily routine. Instead, what I learned was about me: I could not be anything other than what
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
stagnation in my life story. It wasn’t until my second year of college,
43
years were a massive step forward for me and my goals and aspira-
THE OUTCROWD
an of my class (which consisted of only 25 people) and was accepted
I was. It was as if everyone around me was trying to make sure I
The best way to avoid finding out what would happen if I left that path was to pretend nothing existed outside of those lines.
was painfully aware of the consequences should I present anything other than the prototypical white Christian male identity that was assigned to me for as long as I could remember. As I was, I was exactly what I needed to be if I wanted to get through high school, and by extension life, through the path of least resistance. The best way to avoid finding out what would happen if I left that path was
ISSUE 20
44
SPRING 2018
to pretend nothing existed outside of those lines. Now in my third year of college and happily involved in a romantic relationship with another man, that oppressive ignorance is what I find to be significant about my experience. The bigotry and intolerance I encountered is an unfortunate reality that is unlikely to end any time in the near future; it is nothing that is specific to myself and I’m certainly aware that others have been subjected to far worse. What it brought to light to me was the existence of an unspoken group, one that few realize they are a member of until after they’ve left its ranks. There are untold numbers of kids, like me, who are not so much in the closet as they are simply in the dark. I wasn’t tricked into lying to myself until I could come to accept myself as a gay man, I was conditioned to believe that I had no identity beyond what was prescribed to me. I was denied the opportunity to explore my identity, and thus had no notion that there was anything to discover about myself. I don’t regret my high school experience because of the hurtful things I heard and saw. I regret instead that I lost the most important aspect of those formative years: the opportunity to explore my identity as a multi-faceted, complex individual. I cannot stress enough how important this exploration is; perhaps my first two years of college would have been far more bearable had I not spent them continuing to avoid thinking about my identity. Regardless of the type of institution, public or private, secular or Catholic, if it inhibits its students from learning about themselves, it cannot truly be a place of learning. And if it’s anything like my high school, their soccer team probably isn’t even all that good either.
THE OUTCROWD
45 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
This issue, we wanted to highlight queer artistry by
WORDS BY Caroline Bennett
showcasing the work of three queer students.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY Jo Johnson
and get creative. It was just kind of like, if I
ally jump started my sewing interest.
SPRING 2018
don’t like what I’m looking for, then I might as well just make it my own. A lot of things
What is unique to your artistry?
I want to make, or I just feel like making
If I need a dish towel, I just make it. It’s like,
something, I just do it.
I don’t want to spend money, I just want to do this. Or while researching designs it’s
ISSUE 20
46
How
does
your
artwork
tie
into
like ‘Oh hey, this is a really cool design. I
your queer identity?
want to make something like this.’ It’s like
Sewing especially does. I started sewing
I kind of need this, but how can I make it
later when I was in high school, and I knew
cool?
that I looked weird, and not a lot of clothes
Luria Lee
Etsy: LittleStoreofWonders
fit me the way I wanted, so sewing was a
What message do you want your art-
way to subvert that and eventually, explor-
work to convey?
ing my queer identity, it helped subvert
I really like seeing what other people do,
that too. If I bought stuff, I could alter it in
and that inspires what I do too, so I guess
a way that fit whatever identity I want to
we all have to build off of each other. I al-
present.
ways like when people get inspired by the stuff I make. Everyone is influential to each
How
has
queer
artistry/culture/
other.
What kind of work do you create?
media influenced your work?
I like to sew and craft a bunch of things.
I didn’t have any queer influences growing
Who/what inspires your artwork? Is
Right now I’m mostly focused of making
up. It wasn’t really until college I started
there work you strive to emulate?
reading cards, sewing clothes and hair ac-
seeing what everyone else was doing.
I’m inspired by pokemon designs. I want to
cessories, and crocheting things.
make clothes that are inspired by pokemon Any defining moments in your expe-
designs and practicality.
How did you get started with your
rience as an artist?
medium?
In highschool, I was going through a pret-
How does your art differ now from
I didn’t have toys growing up, so making my
ty bad time. My math teacher, she gave me
when you first started?
own things was a way to make my own toys
her daughter’s sewing machine, so that re-
We all have to start somewhere. I’m pret-
THE OUTCROWD
47 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
ty sure I was terrible, but I just kept going.
in the future?
ist. Sometimes you’ll have these creative
You’re not going to improve unless you
Right now I’m studying conservation bi-
spurts, and sometimes it’s more like a
keep doing the thing. I think most impor-
ology. What I want to do mainly as my life
stasis, and that’s okay too. If you’re going
tantly is just to have fun with whatever
goal is pretty different from those artistic
through a rough patch, that doesn’t make
you’re doing. As long as you enjoy the pro-
things, so I kind of want them to influence
you any less of an artist.
cess, like buying fabric is really enjoyable,
each other and build off of each other. I’m
and working at a sewing machine for hours
kind of aware that my field will not make a
is really enjoyable. If the end product is not
lot of money, but it will be supplemented by
great, so what? I could always alter it later
my art, so hopefully that works out.
and go back to it and refresh, and maybe I’ll have a new idea. Any advice for aspiring artists? How do you envision your artistry
You’re not blooming year round as an art-
ture influenced your work?
tor and inspiration in my life. I constantly
I find myself looking at queer artists a lot,
strive to impress him, and a lot of the work
and I like looking out for queer artists. They
I do is to show him.
motivate me with just how good some of their stuff is.
How does you art differ now from
SPRING 2018
when you first started?
ISSUE 20
48
Kaylie Larlee
Any defining moments in your expe-
The biggest difference is confidence. When
rience as an artist you’d like to
I started I wasn’t confident. I think the thing
share?
that gets artists a lot is that they’re so afraid
My senior year I applied for this thing called
of where they’re at now that they can’t im-
Scholastics, it’s a contest for drawing, and
prove because they want to be good right
I felt really, really confident about it. And
now, but they have to know that you have
then I didn’t get anything. It really hurt me.
to practice to get better. I think coming to
There was a period in time where I just
terms with that and feeling more confident
didn’t care about my art, and I’m slowly on
about my art has made it a lot better.
a journey of loving my art again. How do you envision your artistry What is unique to your artistry?
in the future?
What kind of work do you create?
I like working with neon lighting. So, it’s
I want to start focusing more on the mean-
I do a lot of figure drawing and painting. I
somewhat realistic, but the lighting’s not. I
ing of my art, rather than if it looks pretty
work with the portrait a lot.
like playing with that kind of lighting and
or not.
seeing what kind of shadows I can make. How did you get started with your
Typically, I have two lighting setups, one’s
Any advice for aspiring artists?
medium?
one color, the other is another color, I typ-
Everyone hears this, but just keep on
It has a lot to do with my art teacher. He
ically do complimentary colors, and that
practising. You’re not going to get better
worked a lot with portraits, and I looked up
creates a lot of contrast. I take a picture,
unless you practice. Don’t worry about
to him a lot, so I think I just started work-
and I draw off of that.
what your art looks like now, just keep
ing on that because of him. I started art my
on pushing. Don’t be afraid of failure. You
freshman year of highschool, and we did a
What message do you want your art-
have to fail sometimes, or you’re not going
few portraits, but I started to get really into
work to convey?
to get better.
it my junior year.
I think that figures are really beautiful and faces are really beautiful. I feel like someone
How does your artwork tie into
doesn’t have to be conventionally attractive
your queer identity?
to be beautiful, and that’s what I work on.
I have a lot of queer friends, so as a result of that, I draw a lot of queer people.
Who/what inspires your artwork? Is
How has queer artistry/media/cul-
there work you strive to emulate? My high school art teacher is a huge men-
THE OUTCROWD
49 @OUTCROWDMAGSU
take self portraits and manipulate them
wasn’t drag-drag, it wasn’t like I was living
into seeing what I want, both on an aesthet-
for the camp or getting my jush, I was really
ic level but then also on this plane where I
kind of listening to myself and how I want-
can make myself more feminine looking or
ed to see myself, in a very feminine way,
more masculine looking or I can have this
as a woman kind of. That was a huge part
almost conversation with myself about how
in my artistic career, where I realised that
I want to reference different things but also
photographing wasn’t just taking a picture
how I want to present myself and present
of somebody and making them my vision
different visual ideas tying into my queer
and making them “beautiful,” but it was also
identity.
something that was exploratory of myself and my own identity.
How
ISSUE 20
50
SPRING 2018
Samuel Lee @samlleephoto
has
queer
artistry/culture/
media influenced your work?
What is unique to your artistry?
I wouldn’t necessarily say that there were
I like to try to combine from references.
queer artists who influenced me growing
Through that, I’ve been able to hone my vi-
up, but I think that knowing about certain
sion and style into something that I think is
artist’s queerness now draws me into why I
representative of me. It’s a bunch of differ-
kind of liked them in the first place. One of
ent stuff that’s mashed together sometimes
What kind of work do you create?
my favorite painters is John Singer Sargent,
that will create, sometimes, not always, a
I guess fashion portraiture is the best way
and we think he was gay, I don’t know, but
cohesive final piece.
to describe it. I am a photo illustration stu-
all of his best works are showing women,
dent, so I would also classify it as illustra-
or showing men, in these kind of androgy-
What message do you want your art-
tive. I think a lot of times it’s not wholly ar-
nous- like women will be more masculine,
work to convey?
tificial, but it’s built in part in artifice.
men will be more feminine. He really influ-
I’m so seduced by perfection. I love when
enced the way I look at people, or the way I
things are so perfect that they don’t look
want to depict them.
real. I understand that that comes with
How did you get your start with your medium? Why did you choose
a lot of implications and a lot of negative
this medium?
Any defining moments in your expe-
impact, but also I think sometimes when
I wanted to be a fashion designer for a
rience as an artist you’d like to
you’re doing it, you’re pushing the enve-
while, and then I wanted to be a painter,
share?
lope. So I’ll take a photo of myself and I’ll
and then I started photographing in high-
I had a project my fall semester of sopho-
photoshop myself to perfect: I’ll have this
school, and I found a good way I could
more year, kind of like an alter ego project.
aquiline nose, I’ll have a thing, long neck, I’ll
combine these interests of fashion and
We had to show it in class, and my teach-
have beautiful, unblemished skin, I’ll have
painting, like through photoshop I was able
er called me over, and since I always drew
arching eyebrows, swooping hair, all of
to manipulate these images and make them
these kind of caricatures of women or fash-
this stuff that’s not real on my body. What
into what I wanted to see.
ion caricatures- they’re definitely feminine
I want to convey through that is the joy of
but they’re also androgynous a lot of times,
seeing unreal expectations of yourself so
Does your artwork tie into your
they’re relying on high female glamour -but
that you appreciate what you actually have
queer identity? If so, how?
she called me over and she was like ‘This is
more which I know doesn’t make a lot of
It does, definitely. Part of my queer identi-
you. I want you to do something with this.’
sense but I guess what I want to convey is
ty links to visuals. With photography, I can
So then I photographed myself in drag, it
just the joy of artifice and how seductive
and fun doing what you want, seeing what
and I was like ‘Woah, I can do anything,’ and
tor of a small magazine or a photo director.
you want, can be.
people started looking like aliens- just bad
I’d love to take my knowledge and passion
photoshop. What I feel more fulfilled in,
for what I do, but also like this identity, and
Who/what inspires your artwork? Is
and what I think has changed in my work
kind of integrate that more into the fash-
there work you strive to emulate?
the most, is my ability to find sensuali-
ion space. I think fashion has become re-
A lot of my knowledge comes from see-
ty and glamour outside of the binary and
ally corporate and it’s starting to lose that
ing photographer’s work, or seeing artist’s
outside of this really stereotypical or lazy
punk edge queer identities can bring it, and
work, and trying to emulate that through
representation of sensuality and sexuality.
I’d love to go into a fashion magazine or a
myself so I can better get a grasp on their
fashion blog and bring in more of the kind How do you envision your artistry
of punky-queer rejection of binary and ste-
who throughout high school were my ab-
in the future?
reotypical gendered things. I would love to
solute favorite photographers. I wouldn’t be
I’d love to photograph for a magazine. I’d
be in a space where I could define a mag-
an artist without other artists. I rely a lot on
love to have a cover of W or a cover of
azine’s visual brand while pushing the en-
seeing other artists’ work to inspire me; it
Vogue, I mean that’s every fashion photog-
velope.
informs my process, and it informs different
raphers dream, but I would love to be, at least in the next 10 years, a creative direc-
Any advice for aspiring artists? Listen who
to
people
know
what
they’re talking about, cloud what you’re yourself.
Listen to your vision, but also listen to what people have to say about it. Listen to people ways of seeing people, seeing my subject,
and to suggestion
and then also seeing different ways of tell-
but don’t let that
ing my audience how I want them to see a
change the way you
person.
feel about what you
How does you art differ now from
want to make. Lis-
when you first started?
ten to other peo-
I’m better at defining my vision, but also
ple, let that inform
I’m better at editing or scaling back. For a
your
while I photographed and I didn’t photo-
don’t let that derail
shop anything because I didn’t know how.
you from what you
Then I started learning photoshop a little
want to do or what
bit, and I completely lost my sense of taste
you’re doing.
and vision. I started getting into photoshop,
work,
but
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
telling
51
but don’t let that
THE OUTCROWD
style. Like for instance, Mert and Marcus,
20GAYTEEN: 20GAYTEEN: Embrace Embrace Your Your Queerness Queerness in in 2018 2018 Comin’ out of our cage and we’ve been doin’ just fine
WORDS BY Caroline Bennett
At beginning of the year, Hayley Kiyoko, lesbian icon and musical genius, coined 20gayteen as a way for queer people making it as queer as you want. In spirit of Hayley, I would like to make a few suggestions on how to make 20gayteen your queerest year yet.
ISSUE 20
52
SPRING 2018
to make this year matter. 20gayteen is about taking 2018 and
1
GO TO PRIDE
If you haven’t partaken in Pride Month festivities before, what better a time to start than during 20gayteen. Go out and dress up with your queer friends for a pride parade. Meet new queer people and express yourself! Pride is one of the most empowering times of the year for queerfolk; it brings feelings of acceptance and community unlike any other, and in this political and social climate, that’s something to be treasured.
Chances are you love seeing queer people prosper and succeed, and one way to make that happen is to spend your money at queer businesses. Locally, Laci’s Tapas Bar, Rain Lounge, Trexx, and PB & J’s Lunch Box are just a few queer-owned businesses that you can easily support with a night out dancing or a quick lunch. Support your queer friends by buying their artwork or listening to their music. Support big name queer people by seeing their movies and going to their shows. Spend at queer community events or fairs. In a country that perpetually feels like it’s being run by money, what better a way to show your support than to invest in fellow queer people.
PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR HEART IS
2
3
GET POLITICAL
SHARE THE BIG NEWS
5
JOIN A QUEER ORGANIZATION
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
On campus or elsewhere, join a queer organization or group. Spending time with other queer people and building a community is one of the best parts about being queer. As RuPaul said, “We as gay people, we get to choose our family.” Go find your queer family. At SU, a few options are Qolor Collective, Pride Union, the LGBT Resource Center, which frequently hosts discussion groups and events, or even The OutCrowd. Outside of university organizations, locally there is the Syracuse Gay & Lesbian Chorus (SGLC) and the Q Center.
53
If you’re comfortable with it, come out whenever possible. Showing non-LGBT people the diversity and strength of queer people matters. Make us visible, challenge notions of ‘what gay looks like,’ and engage in conversations about your queerness. Greeting ignorance or confusion with the willingness to inform is important. There’s no easier way to challenge straight people’s homophobia by showing them that you, a queer person, aren’t terrifying and evil.
THE OUTCROWD
This November, midterm elections are taking place. Never has there been a more important time to be politically involved during this presidential term. If you take anything from this, please let it be that you remember to vote in November. Midterms typically have a low turnout, but this year, Democrats only need 24 seats to flip the House majority and just two to have the majority in the Senate. Don’t have faith in your party and constituents to make the vote happen without you. Get out and vote. But don’t think your civic duty ends with the midterms. Vote local, vote small.
4
7 SPRING 2018
While representation is obviously still lacking, this year, queer people are making even more progress with representation in pop culture. On the screen we get Love, Simon, Queer Eye, Freak Show, Lena Waithe’s Twenties, and The Miseducation of Cameron Post to name a few. On the stage, Peppermint, RuPaul’s Drag Race alum, will be debuting in Head Over Heels as the first trans woman to create a principal role on broadway. This year we also get new music from Troye Sivan, Syd, Hayley Kiyoko, Kehlani, and Robyn. There’s also rumors of new work coming from Frank Ocean, Brockhampton, and Pabllo Vittar. So please take the year to celebrate queer people and their art and support queer productions!
54 ISSUE 20
BASK IN THE GLORY THAT IS QUEER MEDIA
6
TALK TO OLDER QUEER PEOPLE
The reason we have the rights we have are thanks to those that came before us. Hear their stories and ask them about their queerness. Listening to older queer people talk about their lives is incredibly rewarding and important. Being able to learn about queer history from a person who experienced it in real time is invaluable. Let them know you appreciate them and what they’ve done for us. Share with them what you’re doing now to continue their work. Maybe get some tried and true dating tips, you never know.
Perhaps the scariest item on the list, but I truly insist. Whether you’re in a relationship or are single as can be, please treat yourself to a nice date. Take your partner to that thing you’ve been meaning to go to for a few months. Ask out the cute guy in your English class. Message that girl back. Go on a date! At the very least, have a fun night out with your queer friends and celebrate each other.
GO ON A NICE DATE
8
9
TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF
10
@OUTCROWDMAGSU
GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY
55
Working with queer charities and volunteer organizations is incredibly rewarding. The options for getting involved are endless. Community outreach is possible with local, small organizations, and larger national groups offer many ways to get involved on a larger scale. If you aren’t able to give your time but still want to contribute, monetary donations are always a great way to support these groups, and if that’s not in the budget, spreading the word about local organizations and their missions is still worth something. In Syracuse, CNY Pride, the Q Center, and the Syracuse Gay & Lesbian Chorus (SGLC) are all organizations dedicated to local outreach and community building. Nationally, Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE), Black & Pink, the Trevor Project, and the Sylvia Rivera Law Project are all great options among countless others.
THE OUTCROWD
Taking time to think about your queerness and yourself and what it all means to you matters. If you are struggling with your identity or sexuality take the rest of the year to try new things and take risks. Reach out to friends and resource groups if you’re comfortable, or make it a solo mission. Meet new people and travel to new queer spaces. Experiment with your self expression or appearance. Think about how you want to express your queerness and make it a reality. It’s easier said than done, but giving yourself the freedom to have new experiences and test out new things is so helpful in realizing yourself and getting comfortable in your skin.
COMING OUT NEVER ENDS. WORDS BY Michelle Tiburcio PHOTOGRAPHY BY Sam Lee
ISSUE 20
56
SPRING 2018
ROUND
I
had been with my girlfriend for six months when I decided to
express myself and my feelings without the pressure of saying the
come out. I was so in love, and I desperately wanted every-
wrong thing.
one to know it. I had already met her entire family by then,
I hand wrote a letter to my mom coming out to her. The letter
but she had yet to meet any of mine. Her family wasn’t like mine.
was an embodiment of my entire experience with coming out, from
They told her they knew she was gay even before she had a chance to
my first crush to my first girlfriend. It was the most vulnerable I had
come out. My family, on the other hand, forgets that LGBTQ people ex-
ever felt while writing, and after I finished it, I didn’t want to share it
ist unless they’re specifically brought up in conversation. So, to say I was
with anyone. But after some encouragement from my friends, I left it
nervous about coming out is an understatement.
under my mom’s pillow on that Sunday morning. As we headed to the
Although I have a pretty big extended family, my immediate family con-
bus station, I told my mom that I had written her a letter and that she
sists of just me and my mom. We are extremely close, and I never wanted
needed to call me right after she read it. She was confused, but she
anything to come in the way of that. Despite discovering my queer iden-
agreed
tity in my early teens, I decided to keep quiet about it until I was 20.
on the
I valued our relationship so much that, at one point, I was honestly
back to
content with never coming out.
days passed and not a word about coming out had been exchanged.
That all changed when I started dating my girlfriend. She made
At this point, I was way past nervous, I genuinely thought I had imag-
me so happy, and I felt like that was a good enough reason to tell
ined the letter and that I was just delusional.
my mom. For a few months after that, I kept do it but ended up bailing last minute out of after watching a compilation of coming out
&
trying
ROUND
to do so. I got bus and headed Syracuse.
Two
to
However, after a few more days, I finally received a call from my
fear. Then,
mom. She had read the letter. We exchanged a range of emotions and
videos on
heartwarming words. There was confusion, relief, and fear exuding
YouTube, I decided that it would be worth it (thank you, Hannah
from both of us. She had so many questions, and I was more than
Hart). So, I began to plan it out. I came home on a random week-
happy to answer every single one of them because she finally knew.
end in April 2017 and surprised her with a visit. Once I got there, I
I finally did it.
realized there was absolutely no chance of me telling her in person,
After this, I thought I was done, but I was in for a rude awakening.
so I googled different methods of coming out. I knew I didn’t want
After coming out to the important people (parents, siblings, family,
to text her because I wanted it to be more personal than that, but
and friends) I thought there was no one else. I didn’t consider all of
I also knew that writing would be the perfect way for me to fully
the future classmates that would assume my sexuality or the future
coworkers and bosses that would do the same. Coming out is
had a chance to ask, I had realized what was going on: I booked a
ongoing for LGBTQ people.
room with one bed for two women. I panicked, and I hoped that she
Coming out is scary, for some more than others, but the antic-
would not ask. She did. She cleared her throat, and said, “You know
ipation leading up to the big
day is even worse.
you booked a room with just one bed, right?” “Yes,” was the only re-
comes flood our minds,
sponse I could think of. A million possible outcomes flooded my
ourselves for the worst.
head at this moment; mainly, fear of being shunned from the es-
But then we actually do it: we come out, and it feels like a weight has been
tablishment because of religious views. The hotel was non-
Thoughts of all possible outand we can’t help but prepare
&
lifted off of our shoulders. It feels like we have nothing
refundable and we were 12 hours from home. That
to hide anymore because, finally, we can be ourselves. Before coming out, I never thought about hetero/
was the last thing I wanted to happen. Thankfully, she didn’t ask any more questions, and just gave us
cisnormativity or how the world assumes everyone is
our room key. We left after that.
straight and/or cisgender. I never thought about how
Even though we didn’t technically come out to her,
some people are offended if someone assumes that
it was still an instance of the nerve-inducing, “Should
they aren’t straight, so it’s safer to assume otherwise.
I come out? Is it a good time? Will it go badly?” Com-
Once you come out, you have to do it again to your
ing out is a never-ending process that, for some peo-
next door neighbor and again to your coworker
ple, may not get any easier. The fear of rejection and
and again to the girl you met in your writing 205
the anticipation may decrease but it does not cease
class. Even going on vacation can become anxi-
to exist.
ety-inducing, especially in places with more conservatives views.
Personal acceptance is key for any coming out experience. Once you
For spring break, I went down to South Carolina. Prior to getting
have fully and indisputably accepted yourself, it becomes so much eas-
there, I was nervous because I was afraid of someone confronting
ier to tell everyone else. Even-
my girlfriend and I with their homophobia. Because of these feel-
tually, coming out
ings, I had decided to keep the PDA to a minimum while on this trip.
second nature, and you won-
Once we arrived, my girlfriend and I approached the front desk
der why you cared what other people thought in the first place. It takes
for check-in. After giving her my name, the front desk clerk looked
a long time to reach that level of self-acceptance and it is a difficult pro-
up at me, back down at her computer and back up at me. A sudden
cess for some people, but the experience is definitely worth it. Self-love
feeling of concern overtook her face. In that moment, before she
is vital and is the best gift anyone can give themselves.
becomes
ROUND
your student fee
Syracuse University // SUNY ESF
@outcrowdmagsu