MASTERPLAN

Please consider the two following discussions as a plea for YOUR input! If either or both of these issues is in any way related to your family reunion, we urge you to share your thoughts and suggestions to expand these ideas. Send to editor@reunionsmag.com.

This question came from Tyrone P. Dumas of the McNair Brazil Scott Family Reunion whose query is a common one. “What happens with the future of your reunion when your key family members pass on? We are finding it difficult to spark interest in younger family members and especially the issues associated with raising money to get started. Now that I have had health challenges, it has been hard to gather momentum. I believe when we start again, interest will be rekindled but $$$ is the barrier so far.”

It should be noted that in the past, Tyrone had been very successful at raising seed money for his reunion from sponsors, corporations and foundations. So much so that after we featured his successes in the magazine, many other reunions tried to raise money for sponsorship as well. While that might have worked 25 years ago, the possibility now is so remote that getting your hopes up and spending the time and energy is rarely worth it. I have not heard of any reunion receiving any contributions from outside their family in a long time. Tyrone’s success many years ago was the envy of many reunions but rarely, if ever, did others succeed in raising money this way. Others have more recently tried crowdfunding but last I looked, even that was not very fruitful. I think you just need to rely on your own members. Consider a graduated payment schedule where members donate small amounts over a period of time until you have what you need. Perhaps cutting down on costly events should be considered as well. If you’ve not met for a while, make meeting/gathering the highlight without a lot of frills. Then, build it back up over time.

Tyrone’s query is a common one. He is by no means the only one wondering the same thing. In fact, we’ve gotten information recently from reunions where no kids are present and the planners say it’s because kids are not interested. I say: what did you do to interest them?

The common question used to be why don’t the young people come to the reunion? I’d suggest asking young people what would make them want to come to the reunion. Including things young people like to do would yield greater attendance, but planners (usually older folks) seemed surprised by these suggestions. Like what elder ever thought that scheduling an outing to a roller-skating rink would attract kids or a trip to an amusement park or the zoo. Not surprisingly, when they tried it, it worked!

By holding consistent reunions where kids grow up coming to reunions, eventually those kids will realize they need to take some responsibility OR their parents/grandparents can “volunteer” them to start taking that responsibility at an early age. Including teenagers and young adults on planning committees engenders interest and ultimately responsibility for making the reunion happen.

Listen to WeBuildLegacy’s FREE Virtual Family Reunion Planning and Legacy Building Workshop with live questions and answers from reunion planners. My experience is that there’ve always been young reunion members who are trying to learn about taking over reunion planning! Register in advance to get call-in info www.webuildlegacy@gmail.com.

Marilynn Stewart recently lamented that she’s dealing with her 90-year-old parents, both with dementia, and it is tough. She is wondering how to accommodate and make reunions meaningful for aging parents. She said “I don't know all the answers, but my experiences of what works and doesn't work are mounting. For example, instead of overwhelming the elders with large groups where it might be hard to hear or is too chaotic, plan some one-on-one time. Also, instead of planning your reunion at a faraway location, find a location close enough that the elderly person can go home and sleep in their own bed. Or plan reunions that are shorter, a day at the park or a BBQ.

Are you or have you needed to accommodate relatives with memory issues? If so, what are/were their problems and how did you deal with it? It’s clear that at some point the reunion may have no meaning to some people but it should be important to everyone in the family to include them as long as possible and for the young members to get to know them as well.

Marilynn Stewart’s mother, Darleen, talking with her seven-year-old great grandson, Ryder, at a recent reunion. Marilynn says, “It’s when I realized that a one-on-one visit was more valuable for my mom than the craziness of a big crowd. The day after the picture was taken, we had to take mom home — it was just too much for her.

If you’ve been looking for a no or low-cost website option to create a family reunion website, look no further than Google Sites. I created a short video about how to create a family reunion website using Google Sites. It is free and very easy to use. The other Google products such as Google Maps, Drive, Forms, Docs, and Calendar integrate seamlessly with your website. You can easily use Google search for royalty-free images for your reunion website. You may not have all the freedom to change things like with a paid website, but this will give you what you need to get Visit www.youtube.com/watch?v=siXWrtSwLaY to check out this how-to video.

Visit www.sites.google.com/view/massey-family-reunion/ home to see our finished project.

Visit www.facebook.com/groups/MasseyFamilyReunion to see our Facebook page.

Reported by Cassandra “Sandy” Duncan, Burtonsville, Maryland.

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Teaches you how to connect, literally and emotionally. Tutorial Videos by: Teaches you how to connect, literally and emotionally. Tutorial Videos by: Teaches you how to connect, literally and emotionally. Tutorial Videos by: Teaches you how to connect, literally and emotionally. Tutorial Videos by: Teaches you how to connect, literally and emotionally. Tutorial Videos by: Teaches you how to connect, literally and emotionally. Tutorial Videos by:

The 2021 bi-annual Gilliam Family Reunion met in Portsmouth, Virginia. They typically have over 100 family members in attendance, but this year there were about 60, down mostly due to the pandemic. A requirement for attending was to either be vaccinated or to test negative two to three days prior to arriving. Two family members actually tested covid positive and were not able to attend.

This year was also special, because they had a family member in attendance who they didn't even know existed until last year. This is the special backstory according to planner, Patricia Johnson. “In 1966, my mother's baby sister, who would have been in her early 20s at that time, left their home in Alabama to relocate to Florida. She left her three young children with their father, while she set up a home in Florida. She was to return to Alabama to get her children, after she was settled. But she never went back to Alabama and eventually lost contact with the whole family including her three children. Over the years, many family members searched for her, traveling to Florida to look in person, including filing a missing persons report.

“I began searching for my mother's missing sister over 15 years ago, with small clues from my mother, who insisted that I should look in Miami, Florida, and that she believed my aunt would have changed her name. As DNA testing became available, I took both AncestryDNA and 23andMe, hoping I would get a match. I encouraged my cousin (the missing aunt’s daughter) to also take the DNA tests, which she did.

“As years have gone by, we've lost several family members, including my mother who passed in 2013. One of her final wishes to me was to find her missing sister. During the pandemic, I decided to amp up my search efforts. I created a missing persons poster (see attached) and shared it on many Facebook family search related group pages, which actually paid off. With very little information to go on and one single picture, a search angel ultimately led me in the right direction. I reached out to a man on Facebook, who I believed to be my first cousin, my missing aunt’s son. He was extremely reluctant at first, but then agreed to speak to me on the phone. We exchanged information, I provided him with the one picture I had and he provided a few other pictures of his mother. We both believed that his mother was my missing aunt. He hadn't taken any of the DNA tests, but he agreed to take one. Six weeks later, he was confirmed to be my first cousin, and half sibling to my missing aunt’s daughter. Unfortunately, my aunt had passed in 2013, just a few months after my mother had passed.”

Growing up, my newfound cousin said his mother never mentioned family other than her father - our grandfather. She didn't mention having children she left in Alabama and she didn't mention having many siblings although there was a total of 17 children. My mother had been correct, my aunt changed her first name, got married (new last name) and had three additional children, two of whom are deceased. We will never know why she did what she did, but at least the mystery has been solved.

My newfound cousin was able to attend the family reunion and was able to celebrate with this side of the family for the first time in his 40 years of life. He also met two of his three half siblings; unfortunately, one was not able to attend. Shared by Patricia Johnson, Stratford, Connecticut.

Gilliam Family Reunion video

MISSING PERSON

Name: Rella Gilliam DOB: Approximate: 1945-48 Last Seen: 1965, Approx. 75 years old now Last Known Location: Lowndes County AL Circumstances in Disappearance: Purportedly traveling to Florida from Lowndes County/Hayneville AL area – certain to have boarded a Greyhound bus (not sure if she made Last known picture of it to Florida and, if so, unsure of what area/ Rella just before she town). Her three young children were left in the was missing. care of family members until she was to return. Family is desperately looking for answers – she has sisters, children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews anxiously looking for answers. Help us find her! Questions or more information? Please email jlpincheon@gmail.com Jimmie Edmonds, son of the missing sister, pictured with his newly found half-sister Joane Pincheon. Joane and Jimmie were able to confirm their relationship by testing on AncestryDNA.

When the pandemic hit, we had already scheduled two main reunions for 2020. The first, the Wells Family Reunion, was scheduled for the end of June. We debated whether or not we should hold it, but when our state, Utah, issued the guidelines of “no gatherings of more than 50 people,” we felt it would be safe to gather for the three-day, two-night reunion. We invited members to attend as long as they had no COVID symptoms. Most activities were held outside at the lake or the park where we played volleyball and wiffleball. We did gather inside for some meals and activities. We followed state guidelines and between 25 and 35 people attended at various times during the reunion. No one contracted the virus. It was the one and only activity we participated in during 2020.

The Stewart Family Reunion usually has over 100 family members attend during Labor Day weekend. I was in charge of that reunion and it was very stressful trying to decide if we should hold the reunion. The Stewart reunion is held at an outdoor group campsite in Utah. I worked on the “Space” themed reunion until August when the campsite cancelled our reservation due to the pandemic. It was about that time, my nephew, an EMT and firefighter, told me that, “COVID is real and it isn’t safe for the older people in our family to attend the reunion.”

I feel we made the right choice for each reunion. Shared by Marilynn Stewart, Bear River City, Utah

Wells Family Reunion in Bear Lake Utah. Look at this cool couch, yes, it was one couch.

Typically a Gardiner Family Reunion lasts three or four days, but when we go to the beach it’s always for a week. It’s a time when family and friends come together to honor the memory of our parents, Betty and Joe Gardiner, also known as Grandmom and Uncle Joe and Great-Grandmom and Great-Granddad who loved life.They loved their family, and they left us with many fond memories and traditions.

It was ironic that our parents passed away just weeks before Christmas — Dad in December 2006 and Mom in mid-November, 2008 — because Christmas was their absolute favorite time of year. As toddlers, we learned to ice skate on double-bladed skates Dad skillfully made for us on a rink he built in our very own yard. Both Mom and Dad were good skaters, although I think Mom preferred roller skates. That ice was pretty cold on our bottoms as I recall, but we were warmed by the love of parents who spent quality time with us. Every year shortly before Christmas, Mom and all the neighborhood ladies would fill our house for days on end with the sweet aroma of baked snickerdoodles, chocolate chip cookies and other assorted treats.

Patricia recalls the day that started it all “I remember so well the night we all sat around after Mom’s funeral service and unwrapped the Christmas gifts she’d left for us. We laughed and cried and remembered. Then we decided that we would have a reunion the next year in honor of Mom and Dad. Who knew it would be the first of so many?”

The very first Gardiner Family Reunion in June 2009 was truly an “all hands-on deck” event and only 21 of us were there to pose for our first family reunion photo. Everyone pitched in to help and no one was ever asked to contribute a cent although donations were gladly accepted. This has become the main tenet of all our reunions: “All you have to do is get there!”

We rented several cabins at Camp Carlson, an Army recreational facility just down the street from Fort Knox, Kentucky. The cabins were nice and well equipped, except for bed and bath linens. Everyone who wasn’t flying to the reunion was asked to bring their own. We took turns at KP duty and the backyard chefs took turns cooking the main courses on a huge smoker. There was little to offer in the way of sightseeing, but there was a small lake nearby for fishing. A hose and small inflatable baby pool provided some heat relief for the little ones. And a porch became a concert venue as some of us boogied on down to the dueling rhythms of guitars and raindrops on the roof.

Every reunion has been successful in its own right because each hosting team had its own unique way of organizing it. Since our humble beginnings in Kentucky, we have visited Colorado, North Carolina, Indiana, Wyoming and Virginia. We stayed in cabins, hotel rooms, several large beachfront rental houses, and even an entire three-story inn in Nashville, Indiana.

The hosts have the freedom to plan activities and entertainment for their reunion guests. We have marveled at the sight of grizzly bears, bighorn sheep, moose and other wildlife while traveling the Buffalo Bill Cody Scenic Byway in Wyoming on our way to Yellowstone National Park, caught 540 pounds of tuna while deep-sea fishing in the Atlantic Ocean, and straddled two time zones during a weekend at Lake Cumberland State Resort Park in Jamestown, Kentucky.

Mom and Dad were always giving of themselves to others in their time of need,

Gardiner Family Reunion

and it seemed those times were always in winter. Dad was the go-to guy on the block who could fix anything, especially furnaces and stalled cars in snowdrifts, while Mom comforted the neighbors and offered them coffee and a listening ear. During our third reunion, Connie, our family’s oldest member, suggested that we might consider “giving back” to the local community by performing some act of kindness or service project. Thus began a tradition of collecting donations to benefit a local charity or other non-profit organization. We are proud to say that we have given to local food pantries and other charities, such as St. Jude Children’s Hospital, the 22q Family Foundation and Santa America’s Military Support Program, and we collected enough funds to send two veterans on an Indy Honor Flight. This past year our donation went to one of our own…a cousin who suffered a stroke. The donated funds helped with the cost of his rehabilitation.

By now you may have guessed that we are a military family. Dad started it all with a stint in the Army during World War II. He

was our only soldier. We now have over 20 veterans in our ranks and have served as officers and enlisted in every branch of our nation’s armed forces except Space Force. We have seen duty both here and abroad— from the North Pole to Afghanistan, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to the depths of the oceans, and everywhere in between. We wore combat utilities and service dress blues, hash marks, shields, eagles and globes…and Dad was always so proud of us! At our reunions we take some time to thank those who have served—and are still Santa Claus, Jerry Owens, a member of International Santa Claus Hall of Fame in Santa Claus, Indiana, with author’s grandson, Vincent. serving—and acknowledge the family and friends who supported us … those who have always kept the home fires burning. There is, however, one activity that has evolved over the years and is now the only “mandatory” part of every reunion; we call it our main event. Family members and guests are expected to attend a meal and a showing of video clips and pictures from previous reunions, pose for a family reunion photo, and attend a Christmas party. Early on we would have Christmas gift exchanges, Dirty Santa, Betty Bag gift exchanges (regifting items in bags Mom and Dad had gifted to us in prior years), and a Christmas party for the children. It is the children’s Christmas party that has stood the test of time and is almost always expected — and enjoyed — by young and old alike. Santa has even visited us on a few occasions to pass out the gifts. But in 2020, during the depths of COVID, instead of a gathering of all the children, Santa traveled to all our rental houses and left a gift for each of the children at the front doors so they would have a present to open when they woke up the next day. Why do we do this? Because two people fell in love. Our family tree has evolved into a small forest where everyone is welcome to come and grow and make new memories and traditions. Our reunions have inspired some of the younger generation to consider hosting a reunion in their neck of the woods. The five of us “elders” (all now in our 60s and 70s) have handed down the reins to our children, but the fact that their children have expressed a desire to host a reunion in the future speaks volumes of the love of life and family our parents instilled in us. We hope to share that love with others and introduce new generations to their “roots” … to keep Mom and Dad’s spirit alive and vibrant for generations to come. In November 2009, we interred Mom and Dad’s cremains in the Kentucky Veterans Cemetery just across the street from Fort Knox’s famous gold vault. Like a gold vault for our family’s treasures, their memory rests there but their spirit lives on in our minds and our hearts. I think Mom and Dad would be proud. Gardiner Family Tree Shared by Karen Heilers, Louisville, Kentucky.

by Lisa A. Alzo, MFA

Reaching a milestone birthday or anniversary is an occasion often associated with a special celebration. Marking a milestone family reunion is more than just a number — it honors a deeper commitment for those families fortunate enough to get there.

For my family—the ALAFFFA (an acronym for Abbott, Lizanov, Alzo, Figlar, Figlar, Figlar, Augenstein) Reunion has seen its share of milestones through the years. With reunion number 55 on the way in 2022, we have found a solid formula to make the planning as painless as possible.

One of the traditions of the ALAFFFA reunion is to hold our annual event at the 100-Acres House in South Park, near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. While we changed up the location to some venues in Ohio during our near-55-year run, the consistency of a familiar and convenient location has made it easy for family members to attend. Our first real “milestone” reunion — our 25th — was held at the South Park house in 1992. For this silver anniversary celebration, we arranged for a caterer, designed our first official t-shirts, and marked the occasion with toasts, a poem, and other tributes. For our 45th in 2012, we held a weekend celebration at Oglebay Resort in Wheeling, West Virginia. With a formal dinner we honored our ancestors with a family tree chart, and filled the evening with special tributes to past ALAFFFA reunions. The longer celebration gave us more time to visit. The format worked so well, we went back for our 50th in 2017 and have chosen Ogelbay as our venue again for 2022. Based on our experiences, here are three tips for planning a memorable milestone reunion.

Toga Party at the 21st ALAFFFA reunion. 1. Determine the destination in advance. Our planning for

yearly reunions starts at least one year in advance, but for the extended reunions we plan for two years. As venues are starting to bounce back from the pandemic pause, it is more important than ever to plan ahead to make sure you can secure your first choice of date(s). There are many considerations when choosing a destination—size of your reunion, travel for attendees, cost, accessibility, amenities, and more. We have one person designated as the planner/contact person who interacts with the venue staff to gather information and negotiate terms and contract. We take a survey at least two years before the milestone event to gather ideas, hear concerns, share preferences and take a vote. Because our venue of choice worked so well in the past it makes it a bit easier to plan for future events in the same location (with adjustments, if needed). A week after our 2021 reunion, the organizer sent an email invitation to all family members to mark our calendars and to make the lodging reservations early. 2. Build a budget. Cost out per person how much each person

will pay for the reunion itself (food, entertainment, etc.). For our reunion, travel costs (hotel, gas, airfare, individual meals) are not included in that amount. Make sure the attendees know up front how much to estimate for expenses. One of our strategies over the past several years is to pare down costs for annual reunions and have a fund to help defray the per person amount for the special event. We have done special fundraising to add to the fund, such as auctioning a t-shirt quilt made by one of the senior ALAFFFA members, and a 50/50 raffle. Due to 2020 pandemic circumstances, the reunion that year was small, and we saved a considerable amount of money to have enough put away to cover the per-person cost for everyone who attends. Attendees will only have to pay for their room, travel and extra meals. For our 55th reunion, we are making some changes. On the Saturday, rather than a sit-down dinner, we will have a catered event between two large houses being rented by two families in our group so we can enjoy the entire day together like we typically do each year. A brief survey is being sent to determine what food and drink will be preferred. 3. Arrange activities. A milestone reunion provides many opportunities for attendees to participate in group activities. Trivia, karaoke, games, and sharing memories in a toast can involve all ages. Photo albums and family trees make great conversation starters. For example, at the ALAFFFA 45TH reunion, I presented a slideshow from my trip to Slovakia and visit to the ancestral villages of my grandparents (John and Veronica Figlar) who immigrated to the United States and served as the inspiration for the start of our reunions. I also arranged for a special keepsake called Voice Quilt — a collection of stitched together audio memories recorded by individuals and delivered in a music box. (Note: Voice Quilt shut down in 2013). The keepsake is held by my cousin who keeps a time capsule of our ALAFFFA memorabilia at her home. For our 50th reunion we viewed a tribute with photos and video clips from past ALAFFFA Voice Quilt Keepsake Box from 45th reunion (2012) reunions and short video messages from anyone in the family who wished to participate. Such activities can be organized in advance, designed to involve all generations and created with little to no cost. Use photo editing software such as Vivid-Pix Restore to add new life to your family photographs. Voice and video recording is easy with a smartphone. For video editing there are many free apps or programs available. See “Edit Videos Like a Pro: The 12 Best Free Video Editing Software Programs for 2021” for suggestions.

When it comes to family reunions there is no “one-size-fits-all” solution, especially for organizing those extra special gatherings. However, with a solid plan, good communication, and building anticipation for fun activities, it is possible to find the right formula to make some milestone reunion magic.

Lisa Alzo has been surrounded by family at their 50+ year running reunion and walks in her ancestor’s footsteps, literally and figuratively, as a genealogist, lecturer and writer. Author of 11 books and endless articles for newspapers and magazines, Lisa earned a Master of Fine Arts degree from the highly acclaimed Creative Nonfiction Writing Program at the University of Pittsburgh. She works as a writing coach and online educator through her website Research Write Connect www.researchwriteconnect.com.

Singing the song

Poem written for the 25th ALAFFFA Family Reunion (1992) by Helen Lizanov

FROM NUMBER ONE TO TWENTY-FIVE WE’VE KEPT THIS FAMILY TIME ALIVE WE WILL HAVE ALAFFFA TO REMEMBER

THE SOFTBALL GAMES THAT NO ONE WON THE DAY THE PORTA-JOHN CAME DOWN WE WILL HAVE ALAFFFA TO REMEMBER

FROM POTLUCK TIMES TO CATERED FARE WE’VE BEEN TO MANY PLACES HAWAII, ROME AND MEXICO WITH LAUGHTER ON OUR FACES

FROM WOODSTOCK TO THE COUNTRY AND THE POLISH 50’s WE’VE DANCE THE HULA, LIMBO TOO AND DON’T FORGET THE KISHKA

THO WE MAY GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS WE’LL NOT FORGET THESE SPECIAL DAYS WE WILL HAVE ALAFFFA TO REMEMBER

-HYE-FYE

7-11-92 (Transcribed By Lisa Alzo, 18 October 2021)

Iwas on a trip to Lake Louise and Banff in Alberta, Canada, with a friend, at a meeting planning event, in March 2019. I am always on the lookout for a fabulous property where we can take our 18-person family. My friend introduced me to Brady Johnson who was representing C Lazy U Ranch in Colorado.

I had been looking at this property for a long time because it would accommodate all of the ages in our family, from one to 68-years old. I asked Brady lots of questions! We wanted to go to the ranch in the summer of 2020 but there was no availability at first for our large group. Brady worked with us on specific accommodations and we were able to book for the end of July 2020. We had flight reservations from Dallas to Denver and transportation hired to pick us up in Denver and take us to the ranch. We were totally organized. Then we had to deal with Covid.

C Lazy U assured me that they were prepared for Covid and made many adjustments to provide the full experience for everyone. We did not want to take a chance on flying so I called transportation companies all over Dallas and ended up hiring Vonlane, a private transportation

Baldridge Family at C Lazy U Ranch. Chris Baldridge and C Lazy U fishing guide.

company that has luxury buses with a driver, personal attendant to serve food and drink as well as a bathroom on board. They served drinks, snacks and food for the long 14-hour trip to Colorado. They had never rented privately before, but now are chartering all over the south.

We loved C Lazy U Ranch because there was something for every member of the family, children to adults. Each day began with a breakfast for everyone somewhere on the property. Then the kids were off to their activities and the adults were off to theirs. Although they were at separate

activities, adults could join their children or have their own adventures together, if they wanted to. All of our kids (aged three to eight; we brought a nanny for those under three) had the vacation of their lives: riding horses, fishing, playing games, and learning activities they had never done prior to the ranch. The counselors at this ranch were wonderful with kids.

The C Lazy U Ranch was like family ... every person who works there could be your sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc. Everyone was friendly and if we needed anything, all we had to do was ask. The stay was perfect and all of my family loved the ranch! Shared by Chris Baldridge, Dallas, Texas.

(Left to right) Whitney Nowlin, Chris Baldridge and Blaire Trammell cattle rustling

The girls on the fence from the left are granddaughter Brynn Nowlin (2nd and 3rd girls are not related), Sloane Trammell, Caroline Nowlin and Emerson Trammell. They had just participated in the "Shodeo" where they rode their horses (each had the same horse for the week) around an obstacle course for the fastest time or they rode their horse around some obstacles, had to get off of the horse and run to a bowl of whipped cream and without using their hands, put their face in the bowl to find the strawberry and run back, get back up on the horse and ride to the finish line. 3640 Colorado Hwy 125 | PO Box 379 Granby, CO 80446 www.clazyu.com | 970-887-3344 Contact Brady Johnson, Director of Sales and Marketing, 970-887-5926, bjohnson@clazyu.com